For anyone out there who doesn't feel confident enough. Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Don't let others define the world for you. Get up and grab the opportunities. Have an awesome day! 💖🙏
Stephanie, sometimes we don't realize we are trying to force things. We are just "in love" and trying to "make things work" regardless of how terrible things really are. I was in a relationship where I put in all the effort in an attempt to make things work. Fortunately, he ended it and I was forced to move on. However during the relationship I started to learn about self love, boundaries, attachment theories and complex ptsd. I knew the breakup was crucial to my self worth regardless of how much it hurt and how much I wanted it to work. I focused on myself, family and friends. I kept busy with obligations and fun things. I made a wish list of everything i wanted in a man. And, i prayed for him although i am not religious. A couple of months ago, I met him. He meets every wish and desire. I never in my life have felt so loved and treasured! He even lives near the ocean and owns a boat (something I threw in my list just because it was a "wish list). I am a 64 year old widow who would have been happy taking care of my grandchildren. Now, I have a love that I have never known and my family and friends. Life is damn good! Don't lose hope. Keep working on yourself and that wish list!! My best!!
@favour Ella can you stop replying to people's comments like this? People are trying to heal from toxic relationships or relationships that don't help them stay in alignment or achieve a better version of themselves. A new version that's felt within and exudes a higher frequency energetically. People here want to view the world through a whole new lense. You are speaking about bringing an ex back which sounds like you are trying to counteract the healing process Stephanie is trying to help facilitate. I don't like to comment on RUclips or come off rude but the impression you're giving is you want pain to continue and that you or someone is trying to make money off of damaged people. I've been through multiple comments and you are saying the same thing like an advertisement. Surely there are other channels you can participate with that matches more of what you are trying to offer. Maybe those who give out zodiac readings or something will more suit you. Please and thank you!
@Lovey Dove the person I was referring to removed their multiple posts from this video. I don't recall what she said it was a year ago but she was replying to MULTIPLE comments in response to this video in a way that was insensitive asl. And she must've deleted them all after I spoke on it. I'm not against any opinions so apologies you did not see the heartless comments or who i tagged🤔. This women I'm speaking of was highly disturbing and if you hit the what's app page of the person I tagged that shown who I was speaking to,her account on RUclips still up but she ended up deleting her content on there too. Her picture still up though 👌🏽
I'm going to be honest. As Stephanie was talking about what constitutes the Peter Pan Syndrome I realized that I have it. I struggle with stating stuck in past trauma which has my brain at a certain age, I am now finally able to sit down and start asking what I want in life, and I don't always react the best when I realize that someone does not want me the same way I want them. So if there is anyone who realized that they have this too....the good news is you're not alone. Also, don't give up on yourself. If you are working on who you are then that's great. Keep going. Keep loving on yourself. Remember you are the star for your movie.
Likewise. But there are core differences in emotional maturity and intention, luckily trauma doesn’t necessarily touch that. Until it does. Feeling you and sending all my support and love along the path. Healing vibes & much luck.
This video is a reminder for me to grow up myself and level up. I'm 23 and need to get my stuff together. I keep attracting the same people and I'm not leveling up myself.
This video is spot on. There is so much immaturity out there in the dating world today. No one can meet even the most modest standards. I'm taking a break from dating to keep my sanity.
@Krishna Patel A person's childhood can be a determining factor in their behavior. As an adult we become responsible for our behavior to others and to ourselves. We have the power through introspection, channels like this one, books and therapy to become the person we want to become. I wish that for everyone reading this comment.
Just in the past year have I started learning about a NARCISSIST. I totally have settled for abusive relationships over and over. Thank God I am alive and able to figure it all out. I had never heard of NARCISSIST. I have come to see my entire life has been dysfunctional and full of them.I always feel like I never fit in. It's caused and still does a lot of anxiety and depression for me. I have a lot to learn about me and people in my life. Thank you for sharing and being so helpful.
I hear you, I understand and feel exactly the same way. I get hooked into the toxicity before I even realize it. That’s what I’m working on now. I too struggle with anxiety and depression. I think for me it started with an unhealthy childhood.
You have such a gift.... That gift is the ability to explain things in such a simple way... But on such a deep level... So glad I found your channel...thank you for taking the time to invest in us. 👑
I appreciate that you are educating to look at someone’s behavior as compared to reacting to your emotions. Another person’s actions are reality, not our hopes, dreams, and what we want someone to be.
Lord knows I’ve dated Peter Pan before lol they come in all shapes and sizes tops I really like the part when you said “when you get defensive or overlook red flags, you’re operating from past trauma… when you do the work for them, wanting them to become what you want them to be, you’re operating from trauma.” Omg that’s so true.
Thank You Stephanie for your video’s. I just got out of a long term toxic relationship. I didn’t even know how bad it was till I was out. I started watching your videos and omg, I can’t believe how much all of your videos describe what I was going through. I have been working on myself so much since I left and I am a lot better off. Thank you so much.
Great video that touches upon so much. If someone is not going to be accountable and responsible for their own behaviour its a huge red flag. There usually is one that takes the heat and the blame for what everyone else is not doing which leads to codependency.
Was married to one in my first marriage. Didn't realize it at first since we were both 18 going on 19 when we married. It was after we had children that it was more apparent and suddenly he didn't want responsibilities. That marriage lasted 8 yrs. I waited 17 years to remarry. I spent those years raising my 2 sons alone because I never found a guy I thought would be a good dad to my boys. I had them active in sports and our church where their coaches and the pastor of our church could be good male role models. But, the one person I didn't work on was myself. Once my boys were grown, I fell in love with and married yet another man suffering from Peter Pan syndrome. In addition, he also had a drug addiction. I helped him get off drugs and engage in some semblance of full time work. I knew nothing about drugs or drug addicts and thought his rages, tantrums and self-centeredness were part of his addiction. But, his behavior continued long after he was off drugs and included lying, manipulation, gaslighting, blame shifting, projection, etc. ending this year in cheating. We are now separated after 14 years pending a divorce. I realized that he was also a narcissist. I also realized that I needed therapy. I had to find out why I made these choices in men. When my children were involved, I knew what type of role model I wanted in their lives. Where I was involved, I chose men who showed me love and attention at first but also needed rescuing, fixing, and taken care of. In therapy, I looked back at my childhood at parents who showed no affection, at being the youngest of 5 being put in charge of and taking care of 2 older mentally challenged siblings at a very young age. So I looked for love I didn't have growing up and not taking the time to look further into a man's character. I also was partial to fixer uppers. Someone who would always need me. I've learned a lot about myself, how to set boundaries, and how to direct my caregiver skills inward. I'm still a work in progress, but I think I'm heading in the right direction to heal myself of my childhood and marital traumas and one day make a healthy decision when allowing another person into my life.
I have to say, our situations are nearly identical and I’ve never met anyone else who has a story as crazy as (ours) mine. I’m talking like details I couldn’t make up, you explained my life pretty much. I never married my two sons fathers, they abused me and I nearly lost my fight in ICU at 89 pounds after I had my second son. He was trying to kill me so he could have our son and not pay child support. I got full custody and now that my son is older and very educated about this dysfunction he can spend more time with him. Im so sad to say my husband was my knight in shining armor for five years…THEN WE GOT MARRIED. After beating myself up, going through multiple cycles of reconstructing my emotions and my behaviors in my personality traits in my temper and my childish ways, I was stuck in certain behaviors as a victim, I was raped at 13 by a 19 year old friend and I was so messed up thinking I HAD BO CHOICE but to marry him because of that event. I was promised to stay pure til marriage and he stole my promise ring off my finger and told me if I ever told my Daddy i would probably be disowned. I am finally in the best place I’ve ever been at 39 years old and still haven’t dealt with that or anything else, I have tried therapy but everyone says I’m fine…WHAT? I am so thankful for this Video, I have finally been enlightened and now can research how to move forward, preferably with my husband and I in therapy? I’m sure he will be willing to work on this once it all registers in his mind. I have FAITH! Thank you for sharing!
I remember being a kid and my mom buying the book, 'The Peter Pan Syndrome'. It was to help her deal with my father. Too bad she didn't know about narcissism back then. I was always curious about that book and have thought of it many times in the past year even. I checked the year of publication on that book and it said 1983 but that is absolutely not correct. I'm 65 now and I was a little girl when my mom bought that book. I can remember her hiding it in her drawer so that my dad wouldn't see it. In 1983 I was having my first child. But the picture on the cover is absolutely the book my mom had..
This was my whole relationship last year and relationships before that ! Man I’m still healing from this. Took the words out of my mouth! I’m so single !
I have dated several Peter Pan's. Took some time during COVID, after I took advantage of the "stay at home" order to break away from a narcissistic "partner", to work on myself, so I can break that cycle.
I realized that I dated a man with Peter Pan syndrome. He broke up with me Bcs he said he can’t see future with me. But after listening to your video I realized that highlight his immaturity throughout the relationship.
Bless us all who have been involved with not the right match.....I feel we all need to start caring enough to send ourselves the very best. That way the path we choose in life will be complete with us all. Thank you again an please everyone always stay true, stay safe, stay healthy, always walk with our creator 🤗💞🙏
This video may have just saved my life. Their wishy washy ways, makes a lot of time add up before you identify that they are a Peter Pan. It’s been 2.5 years and I feel like I now can logically move on. Thank you🙏🏽
I am a 19 year old Australian male and I have 1 close friend that definitely suffers from Peter Pan Syndrome. Unfortunately he hasn't had the easiest life, and to say the trauma he has experienced has aided the development of this syndrome is definitely an understatement. I hope he does start to self reflect on his decisions and owning his actions, but up until then life will just continue to get harder for him.
New subscriber 👋🏽 Drowning being *married to “Peter-pan” denial, excuses, MATURITY- got married Very young- at a loss how to break away! Will scan your videos see what I can gain- THANK YOU for sharing THIS knowledge!!!! Eyes opening WIDE- can’t grow, move, gain - no one within my home!
After a lot of on again, off again with an individual he disclosed to me he had Peter Pan syndrome along with depression and bipolar disorder. Lot's of unhealed childhood trauma. Totally tragic. I advised him to pray, wished him well with no hard feelings and have moved on to find a healthy partnership.
I definitely heard of 'Peter Pan Syndrome'. All through growing up my mom would always say I suffer from this as to her I always behaved immature. But it was because Mom always took care of me. It seemed like she, herself never picked up on it.
I love you Stephanie, I learn so much from you. I have dated, and seem to attract those kind of men. It is a real turn off to me when they are that way. It has taken me years of self development to learn to overcome my past, well, still a work in progress, everyday :D I do love life.. I don't need a man to be happy either..
Omg, Preach! I love love love you for helping break down the little boy I spent so many years hoping for! My heart hurts for his children yet, but I thank God everyday that I finally cleared the fog in my head and got away from that (and of course it required a restraining order...you said it immature, doesn't get his way, narcissistic child in the form of a man). Blessings and love to all of you dealing with one of these now ❤
This was actually the first time I've heard about the Peter Pan syndrome I was married to Peter Pan himself we are separated now for 2 years I don't see him changing at all he actually feels that he is on top of his game at all times lol but in the mix of it all my unhealthy self got attached to a person with an addiction that I felt I could help him change 2 years later no change just a frustrated me I am so glad I run across your teaching and look forward to working on me for a change in my life because I do see that's where it's at within me if I'm attracting these types of people then I've got a problem.
I need to tell a little story about our own childlike/adult self, in my case with my narcissist (last relationship) it was my adult self who betrayed me. In the past I would have run off from like a stingy bug once I felt something was off, but this time my "adult self" told my "childlike" reaction to calm down. My adult self tried to justify the bad behavior with "everybody commits mistakes" followed by "this time, give the guy a second chance" type of reasoning.... and that's how a fell in to a 5 year hell of a relationship where everything I preserved, everything I worked for emotionally and psychologically during my whole 35 years alive (at that point) was shattered living me at one point with suicidal thoughts and with physical pain. SO PLEASE TRUST YOUR GUTS ALWAYS!!!! no matter child or adult like, whatever voice is telling you through your stomach, chest, throat or mind, that there is something off that you don't like about or morally, ethically, and personally goes against your values, your life views and most importantly your self worth, RUN! and don't ever look back. Trust yourself first, take care of yourself, value yourself, don't ignore that little inner voice, you are the only one who can protect yourself, you are strong when you are decisive and stand on your own.
define conflict, conflict can be of perspective, he if confronts you with something if he sees you flirting and he confronts her there is gonna be conflict. Jordan Peterson talks about this, so the thing about if he creates drama is very circumstantial.
Oh thank you so much! You have helped me in so many ways to understand so much in all your content!! Truly have been god sent!! Thank beyond words that can’t be expressed!! 🤗🙏❤️
Wow this video was so informative and helpful!! I've definitely been the Peter Pan and as you have said, that led to dating many Peter Pans. Thanks for helping me reflect and identify the areas that I need to grow!!
It seems some people use Peter Pan syndrome for everyone who doesn't have some certain path. If someone is 40, 50 yo or 60 yo and doesn't have partner and children and doesn't have certain expert carrier and works for example as a clerk in the office and knows something like bit of programming, graphic programs, excel and all those office things and so on and have some hobbies like sport or art and wanna stay young, doesn't really mean it is Peter Pan syndrome.
Nice video Stephanie. I know alot (I mean ALOT) of women who are dating these guys. I honestly didn't realize this phenomenon was a thing. Great insight! I work with quite a few guys who lack self-confidence or experience low self-esteem (personally and/or professionally). Sounds like there is a correlation with the Peter Pan Syndrome.
Hi All, We have the ability to GUIDE OUR INTENTIONS for a relationship. We just need to PRACTICE. Helpful TIP for me in early recovery and for those I guide in transition from past harming patterns: COUNT TO TEN before taking action DETAIL YOUR INTENTIONS PLAY THE TAPE FORWARD to NOT serving yourself with what you want. Best WISHES and PRACTICES for us all!
Peter Pan syndrome should apply to women as well. I was married to someone who portrayed exactly what you said: immature, unable to handle conflict, didn’t know who they were, couldn’t communicate well, selfish, narcissistic etc etc.
It's totally okay to love childish things, like playing with toys after college or work, but it is not okay to be a narcissist that needs someone to take care of him whilst giving nothing in return.
I watched this to help me grow up, but the list of what makes a man immature was exactly all the things my ex-girlfriend was doing.. Maybe we all need to double-check ourselves for these same flaws
I feel like I have just listened to a bio on the man that I've dated/entertained for the past two years. Thank you Stephanie... am now processing and working through it all x
I wish I had heard about this before. You explained it extremely well with great examples. My question now is what happens when you are married to one for two years .
Please note: childishness is characterized by tantrum throwing, and selfishness; while childlikeness is characterized by curiosity, generosity, selflessness. Just sayin'.
Can women have the Peter Pan syndrome? I actually clicked on this video because my NM has always been obsessed with Peter Pan. She obstinately & proudly proclaims that she will “never grow up”
I’ve been so confused for the past seven years, since we got married. EVERYTHING CHANGED!! thank you so much for this video. I also want to thank God for putting this in front of me at THIS moment because it explained my husband to a T. He’s 56, I’m 39. We’ve been together 12 years now and since we got married and he changed, I’ve been beating myself up and would searching because he has me thinking everything is my fault, SO MANY narcissistic tendencies but not 100%. What do I do now, divorce isn’t an option, we vowed forever and I won’t give up on him. Please help me!!
I'm not so sure its okay to write someone off in a relationship who isn't yet sure what they want in life and is unable to make a decision in that sense. I don't think that makes someone flaky or not up to the mark at all. Okay, some men and women get stuck in that frame of mind and never find their way but for plenty of others its just a transitional phase for them, they just need to find their way. Its great if someone does have clear direction but I feel many factors can come into play to lead a person to feel unsure as to which path to take in terms of a career or otherwise and its not necessarily a sign of emotional immaturity in my opinion, perhaps they are taking their time and wanting to try different opportunities first. More important is how people treat others and how they handle themselves when upset or under stress, how kind they are, if they can self-reflect etc. I understand that many men and women do look for someone who is confident in knowing exactly what they want and how they will go about reaching their goals but it doesn't always come so easily for some, they just take a detour along the way, but can still be great relationship material and we can accept them for who they are.
THANK YOU 🙏🏼 Or maybe just chronic illness sux the life out of you... feeling like I shouldn’t have tried @ now. But good words and thanks for standing up for the counter-cultural. Not happy w how I’ve done it on this side but waygd?? Work hard 😓
My sixty one year old cousin just moved back to the .States. from Tokyo ,Japan.He spent 20 years there and came back to the states broke. He said that money was not his focus. He now lives in his sister's basement and watches TV all day long and wont look for a job.
Now married to a Peter pan boy who is 61yrs old. Deflect, refusing to take ownership n accountability the intentional inappropriate behaviour with the opposite sex a few times throughout the marriage with all kind of so call gd valid reasons disregarding a wife 's feeling ending up and denying in emotional affairs feeling n thinking that there is nothing wrong its not physical etc... just to short cut the story.
I listened to all of this and was very impressed. I did note that the video seemed to come from the perspective of women who find Peter Pan boys. I'm thinking that it isn't male exclusive, though. I was just discarded by a female that I noted had many of these Peter Pan descriptors. Also, I was going to purchase the coaching bundle, but that too seemed to be geared toward women. Do you have anything that is gender neutral? I really don't want to complete one of your courses and end up being a "High Value Woman," as you call it 😄
Stephanie, I watch your chanel a lot. YOu are very intelligent and share a lot of valuable insights. I don't disagree with the info you present here, but I don't think you should have framed this presentation in the context of talking about the way one's parents would size up a prospective mate for their child. Frankly, some people dont come from two parent homes. Some people don't have parents who are good judges of character. I think you may have been fortuneate enough to have a traditional household witha protective dad, etc. I think it is presumptuous of you to assume most people who watch this channel had mature repsonsible parents who were invested in their children's lives and who were good at evaluating thier children's mates. YOu should have just talked about the red flags and warning signs . Not hating. i like your channel
I don’t think a man that doesn’t want a relationship constitutes Peter Pan syndrome. A lot of women treat men like they are their mothers I don’t want any man in a relationship with a controlling woman y’all are grown no one should be controlling anyone.
According to what’s being said my wife and I both have it to some degree… But in all honesty I wouldn’t wanna know someone who didn’t have it… we call those “normal people” and I’ve personally never met one that I would consider truly “Happy” Their way too damn busy to be. I own my own business and the wife is a bartender…. When not at work we are basically children who keep responsibility’s to an all time low because life is short.
This is a informative video 2 me. Stephanie I’m requesting more self help relationship videos like this it’s very healthy approach 2 examining one’s self knowledge of bad patterns bc dat was my worry about dating again, making repeated mistakes. The point dat u made about da Robinhood guy vs. Da narcissist was very edifying! narcissistic traits show up like u said they’re intertwined behaviours. #Edifying! ❤️
Do you have any video or thoughts on been treat bad from your older brother going up then playing a role in te relationships you get as an adult, when your used to been treated poorly it feels normal to get treat poorly in relationships but now aware of it but still can no heal or no how to heal from this
There is so so much confusion about what narcissism actually is. The term is inaccurately thrown around way to much now. Sam Vaknin literally invented the language of narcissism. He can clarify this if one wishes. As far as Peter Pan, it is very easy to criticize and tell people what they need to be when you yourself had the luxury of adult emotional milestones and development. Peter Pan syndrome is NOT a choice. There are certainly coping strategies and good advice, but often it is the only real way of seeing the world a Peter Pan has ever known. It is not so simple as just telling someone to “grow up”. It’s like telling a short person to “get taller”. They often try as best as they can, given their limited development and mental organizational skills.
I've just broke up with a Peter Pan. he didn't want to make this driving licence. His mamma does his laundry. He lived in a tiny appartement with his daughter and didn't want to have a bigger one because other wise he had to look for another job .... And in this case he had to have a driving license. He sad : no way . His daughter is 12 years old and she needs her own room. He sleeps on his Coach when she comes over. she sleeps on a bed where he and I had our intimate moments the day before. He is not even that interested enough to give her a possibility to have her own room. And that's the moment where I've de decided to leave.
The world will crush you. It will make you cold and calloused. It will steal your joy, your youth, your passion. The world will try to age you and make you worn. And after all that? If you've still got Peter Pan? You're a goddamned hero. So, count me in for Peter Pan because I will always fly, dance, believe in magic and carry my sword. Everyone else can marvel as they become increasingly more rickety and cynical.
@@veronicakennedy5269 well apparently if there is a name for the male version, it would make sense that there would be a name for the female version. Unless! We're not supposed to view females that way. But with all the confusion on gender maybe it shouldn't matter and be called something else that's more gender-neutral.
For anyone out there who doesn't feel confident enough. Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Don't let others define the world for you. Get up and grab the opportunities. Have an awesome day! 💖🙏
Thank you for your encouragement 🙏
I needed this right now😉
Greetings from S.A. 💌
Yes! You have a fabulous day too!!!
Thank you pml, hope you have a great day too!
That was so direct and very comforting thank you
Yes yes 🙌
Stephanie, sometimes we don't realize we are trying to force things. We are just "in love" and trying to "make things work" regardless of how terrible things really are. I was in a relationship where I put in all the effort in an attempt to make things work. Fortunately, he ended it and I was forced to move on. However during the relationship I started to learn about self love, boundaries, attachment theories and complex ptsd. I knew the breakup was crucial to my self worth regardless of how much it hurt and how much I wanted it to work. I focused on myself, family and friends. I kept busy with obligations and fun things. I made a wish list of everything i wanted in a man. And, i prayed for him although i am not religious. A couple of months ago, I met him. He meets every wish and desire. I never in my life have felt so loved and treasured! He even lives near the ocean and owns a boat (something I threw in my list just because it was a "wish list). I am a 64 year old widow who would have been happy taking care of my grandchildren. Now, I have a love that I have never known and my family and friends. Life is damn good! Don't lose hope. Keep working on yourself and that wish list!! My best!!
@favour Ella can you stop replying to people's comments like this? People are trying to heal from toxic relationships or relationships that don't help them stay in alignment or achieve a better version of themselves. A new version that's felt within and exudes a higher frequency energetically. People here want to view the world through a whole new lense. You are speaking about bringing an ex back which sounds like you are trying to counteract the healing process Stephanie is trying to help facilitate. I don't like to comment on RUclips or come off rude but the impression you're giving is you want pain to continue and that you or someone is trying to make money off of damaged people. I've been through multiple comments and you are saying the same thing like an advertisement. Surely there are other channels you can participate with that matches more of what you are trying to offer. Maybe those who give out zodiac readings or something will more suit you. Please and thank you!
@@lisapeterson5699no because other peoples opinions matter too
@Lovey Dove the person I was referring to removed their multiple posts from this video. I don't recall what she said it was a year ago but she was replying to MULTIPLE comments in response to this video in a way that was insensitive asl. And she must've deleted them all after I spoke on it. I'm not against any opinions so apologies you did not see the heartless comments or who i tagged🤔. This women I'm speaking of was highly disturbing and if you hit the what's app page of the person I tagged that shown who I was speaking to,her account on RUclips still up but she ended up deleting her content on there too. Her picture still up though 👌🏽
@@lisapeterson5699 oh I see, we’ll I stand corrected, apologies
@@Scorched-E04th it's all good sis😅
I'm going to be honest. As Stephanie was talking about what constitutes the Peter Pan Syndrome I realized that I have it. I struggle with stating stuck in past trauma which has my brain at a certain age, I am now finally able to sit down and start asking what I want in life, and I don't always react the best when I realize that someone does not want me the same way I want them.
So if there is anyone who realized that they have this too....the good news is you're not alone.
Also, don't give up on yourself.
If you are working on who you are then that's great.
Keep going.
Keep loving on yourself.
Remember you are the star for your movie.
Likewise. But there are core differences in emotional maturity and intention, luckily trauma doesn’t necessarily touch that. Until it does. Feeling you and sending all my support and love along the path. Healing vibes & much luck.
Thank you
This video is a reminder for me to grow up myself and level up. I'm 23 and need to get my stuff together.
I keep attracting the same people and I'm not leveling up myself.
Yep
I'm 23 too and I think I might have autism not Peter pan syndrome
This video is spot on. There is so much immaturity out there in the dating world today. No one can meet even the most modest standards. I'm taking a break from dating to keep my sanity.
Hear ya!!!!!
@@brendaharding8010 A woman met me at a nice restaurant. She came directly from a "Hot Yoga" class. Yikes I didn't quite know what to say. 🤦🏻♂️
@Krishna Patel A person's childhood can be a determining factor in their behavior. As an adult we become responsible for our behavior to others and to ourselves. We have the power through introspection, channels like this one, books and therapy to become the person we want to become. I wish that for everyone reading this comment.
Same! There's so many guys who casually date until they're 40 years old.
@@aprilkatie6752 Even casual dating is not worth the effort
anymore. I'm taking this channels advice and focus on me for once. 😊
After losing everything and everyone more than once you appreciate life more. Emotional maturity is a must in any relationship.
Just in the past year have I started learning about a NARCISSIST. I totally have settled for abusive relationships over and over. Thank God I am alive and able to figure it all out. I had never heard of NARCISSIST. I have come to see my entire life has been dysfunctional and full of them.I always feel like I never fit in. It's caused and still does a lot of anxiety and depression for me. I have a lot to learn about me and people in my life. Thank you for sharing and being so helpful.
I hear you, I understand and feel exactly the same way. I get hooked into the toxicity before I even realize it. That’s what I’m working on now.
I too struggle with anxiety and depression. I think for me it started with an unhealthy childhood.
I totally feel mine started from my childhood also.
Blaming everyone else for your problems, nice. If that's what growing up means, I'm all in. Oh wait, only women are allowed to do that.
You have such a gift....
That gift is the ability to explain things in such a simple way...
But on such a deep level...
So glad I found your channel...thank you for taking the time to invest in us. 👑
I appreciate that you are educating to look at someone’s behavior as compared to reacting to your emotions. Another person’s actions are reality, not our hopes, dreams, and what we want someone to be.
Lord knows I’ve dated Peter Pan before lol they come in all shapes and sizes tops I really like the part when you said “when you get defensive or overlook red flags, you’re operating from past trauma… when you do the work for them, wanting them to become what you want them to be, you’re operating from trauma.” Omg that’s so true.
Thank You Stephanie for your video’s. I just got out of a long term toxic relationship. I didn’t even know how bad it was till I was out. I started watching your videos and omg, I can’t believe how much all of your videos describe what I was going through. I have been working on myself so much since I left and I am a lot better off. Thank you so much.
Stephanie, this is coming from a Capricorn empath, your channel is so refreshing and inspiring so keep up the great work, Godspeed and Godbless!
Great video that touches upon so much. If someone is not going to be accountable and responsible for their own behaviour its a huge red flag. There usually is one that takes the heat and the blame for what everyone else is not doing which leads to codependency.
Dealing with a 33 year old woman who's stuck at 17. This helps a lot. Thanks
What does she do?
Can you explain?
Was married to one in my first marriage. Didn't realize it at first since we were both 18 going on 19 when we married. It was after we had children that it was more apparent and suddenly he didn't want responsibilities. That marriage lasted 8 yrs. I waited 17 years to remarry. I spent those years raising my 2 sons alone because I never found a guy I thought would be a good dad to my boys. I had them active in sports and our church where their coaches and the pastor of our church could be good male role models. But, the one person I didn't work on was myself. Once my boys were grown, I fell in love with and married yet another man suffering from Peter Pan syndrome. In addition, he also had a drug addiction. I helped him get off drugs and engage in some semblance of full time work. I knew nothing about drugs or drug addicts and thought his rages, tantrums and self-centeredness were part of his addiction. But, his behavior continued long after he was off drugs and included lying, manipulation, gaslighting, blame shifting, projection, etc. ending this year in cheating. We are now separated after 14 years pending a divorce. I realized that he was also a narcissist. I also realized that I needed therapy. I had to find out why I made these choices in men. When my children were involved, I knew what type of role model I wanted in their lives. Where I was involved, I chose men who showed me love and attention at first but also needed rescuing, fixing, and taken care of. In therapy, I looked back at my childhood at parents who showed no affection, at being the youngest of 5 being put in charge of and taking care of 2 older mentally challenged siblings at a very young age. So I looked for love I didn't have growing up and not taking the time to look further into a man's character. I also was partial to fixer uppers. Someone who would always need me. I've learned a lot about myself, how to set boundaries, and how to direct my caregiver skills inward. I'm still a work in progress, but I think I'm heading in the right direction to heal myself of my childhood and marital traumas and one day make a healthy decision when allowing another person into my life.
Jerk^
Best of Luck to your heart 💜 Marsha
I have to say, our situations are nearly identical and I’ve never met anyone else who has a story as crazy as (ours) mine. I’m talking like details I couldn’t make up, you explained my life pretty much. I never married my two sons fathers, they abused me and I nearly lost my fight in ICU at 89 pounds after I had my second son. He was trying to kill me so he could have our son and not pay child support. I got full custody and now that my son is older and very educated about this dysfunction he can spend more time with him. Im so sad to say my husband was my knight in shining armor for five years…THEN WE GOT MARRIED. After beating myself up, going through multiple cycles of reconstructing my emotions and my behaviors in my personality traits in my temper and my childish ways, I was stuck in certain behaviors as a victim, I was raped at 13 by a 19 year old friend and I was so messed up thinking I HAD BO CHOICE but to marry him because of that event. I was promised to stay pure til marriage and he stole my promise ring off my finger and told me if I ever told my Daddy i would probably be disowned. I am finally in the best place I’ve ever been at 39 years old and still haven’t dealt with that or anything else, I have tried therapy but everyone says I’m fine…WHAT? I am so thankful for this Video, I have finally been enlightened and now can research how to move forward, preferably with my husband and I in therapy? I’m sure he will be willing to work on this once it all registers in his mind. I have FAITH! Thank you for sharing!
I remember being a kid and my mom buying the book,
'The Peter Pan Syndrome'.
It was to help her deal with my father. Too bad she didn't know about narcissism back then.
I was always curious about that book and have thought of it many times in the past year even.
I checked the year of publication on that book and it said 1983 but that is absolutely not correct. I'm 65 now and I was a little girl when my mom bought that book. I can remember her hiding it in her drawer so that my dad wouldn't see it. In 1983 I was having my first child. But the picture on the cover is absolutely the book my mom had..
This was my whole relationship last year and relationships before that ! Man I’m still healing from this. Took the words out of my mouth! I’m so single !
I have dated several Peter Pan's. Took some time during COVID, after I took advantage of the "stay at home" order to break away from a narcissistic "partner", to work on myself, so I can break that cycle.
I realized that I dated a man with Peter Pan syndrome. He broke up with me Bcs he said he can’t see future with me. But after listening to your video I realized that highlight his immaturity throughout the relationship.
Bless us all who have been involved with not the right match.....I feel we all need to start caring enough to send ourselves the very best. That way the path we choose in life will be complete with us all. Thank you again an please everyone always stay true, stay safe, stay healthy, always walk with our creator 🤗💞🙏
You're 100% Stephanie. Thank you for these videos very informative 🙏
This video may have just saved my life. Their wishy washy ways, makes a lot of time add up before you identify that they are a Peter Pan. It’s been 2.5 years and I feel like I now can logically move on. Thank you🙏🏽
Excellent video! I so wish I had seen it a few years ago. I would have saved me so much loss, devastation and heartbreak. Thank you ❤️
This is crazy! I was just researching and writing a song about this!!!!! 🤯 the timing is too divine! 🙏🏽
I am a 19 year old Australian male and I have 1 close friend that definitely suffers from Peter Pan Syndrome. Unfortunately he hasn't had the easiest life, and to say the trauma he has experienced has aided the development of this syndrome is definitely an understatement. I hope he does start to self reflect on his decisions and owning his actions, but up until then life will just continue to get harder for him.
You all have Peter Pan syndrom at 19 years old..
@@vajfer3 Speak for yourself.
@@BAYKING_316 see, that is Peter Pan answer;)
@@vajfer3 Are you trying to convince me that I suffer from Peter Pan syndrome all because I said "speak for yourself" ? 😂 What the hell
@@BAYKING_316 relax, I am joking;)
New subscriber 👋🏽 Drowning being *married to “Peter-pan” denial, excuses, MATURITY- got married Very young- at a loss how to break away! Will scan your videos see what I can gain- THANK YOU for sharing THIS knowledge!!!! Eyes opening WIDE- can’t grow, move, gain - no one within my home!
You are a wise woman. I am blessed to have found you.
After a lot of on again, off again with an individual he disclosed to me he had Peter Pan syndrome along with depression and bipolar disorder. Lot's of unhealed childhood trauma. Totally tragic. I advised him to pray, wished him well with no hard feelings and have moved on to find a healthy partnership.
I definitely heard of 'Peter Pan Syndrome'. All through growing up my mom would always say I suffer from this as to her I always behaved immature. But it was because Mom always took care of me. It seemed like she, herself never picked up on it.
I love you Stephanie, I learn so much from you. I have dated, and seem to attract those kind of men. It is a real turn off to me when they are that way. It has taken me years of self development to learn to overcome my past, well, still a work in progress, everyday :D I do love life.. I don't need a man to be happy either..
Amen 🙌🏽
Well done. You're growing every day and making progress
Omg 😱 thank you for putting the circle ⭕️ of abuse into words so helpful to me.
I was married to one. The marriage almost destroyed me.
Love this! I wish I heard this 20’years ago
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Good lord! This is so on point. I'm just mindblown
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?
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Omg, Preach! I love love love you for helping break down the little boy I spent so many years hoping for! My heart hurts for his children yet, but I thank God everyday that I finally cleared the fog in my head and got away from that (and of course it required a restraining order...you said it immature, doesn't get his way, narcissistic child in the form of a man). Blessings and love to all of you dealing with one of these now ❤
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?
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SO WELL SAID and ALL the truth! So many need to listen to and admit this.
This is a wake-up call for me. Thank you.
This was actually the first time I've heard about the Peter Pan syndrome I was married to Peter Pan himself we are separated now for 2 years I don't see him changing at all he actually feels that he is on top of his game at all times lol but in the mix of it all my unhealthy self got attached to a person with an addiction that I felt I could help him change 2 years later no change just a frustrated me I am so glad I run across your teaching and look forward to working on me for a change in my life because I do see that's where it's at within me if I'm attracting these types of people then I've got a problem.
"You are the perfect healing/Today(You gave me everything I needed)"!!!
I need to tell a little story about our own childlike/adult self, in my case with my narcissist (last relationship) it was my adult self who betrayed me. In the past I would have run off from like a stingy bug once I felt something was off, but this time my "adult self" told my "childlike" reaction to calm down. My adult self tried to justify the bad behavior with "everybody commits mistakes" followed by "this time, give the guy a second chance" type of reasoning.... and that's how a fell in to a 5 year hell of a relationship where everything I preserved, everything I worked for emotionally and psychologically during my whole 35 years alive (at that point) was shattered living me at one point with suicidal thoughts and with physical pain. SO PLEASE TRUST YOUR GUTS ALWAYS!!!! no matter child or adult like, whatever voice is telling you through your stomach, chest, throat or mind, that there is something off that you don't like about or morally, ethically, and personally goes against your values, your life views and most importantly your self worth, RUN! and don't ever look back. Trust yourself first, take care of yourself, value yourself, don't ignore that little inner voice, you are the only one who can protect yourself, you are strong when you are decisive and stand on your own.
define conflict, conflict can be of perspective, he if confronts you with something if he sees you flirting and he confronts her there is gonna be conflict. Jordan Peterson talks about this, so the thing about if he creates drama is very circumstantial.
Oh thank you so much! You have helped me in so many ways to understand so much in all your content!! Truly have been god sent!! Thank beyond words that can’t be expressed!! 🤗🙏❤️
This is brilliant! Thank you Steph! Unfortunately, I’ve dealt with many Peter pans in my life. Sad to say some are in my family :(
Wow this video was so informative and helpful!! I've definitely been the Peter Pan and as you have said, that led to dating many Peter Pans. Thanks for helping me reflect and identify the areas that I need to grow!!
It seems some people use Peter Pan syndrome for everyone who doesn't have some certain path. If someone is 40, 50 yo or 60 yo and doesn't have partner and children and doesn't have certain expert carrier and works for example as a clerk in the office and knows something like bit of programming, graphic programs, excel and all those office things and so on and have some hobbies like sport or art and wanna stay young, doesn't really mean it is Peter Pan syndrome.
Deal w/ stress + conflict as emo maturity
Sense of self on what they want in life
I should have know this 360 months ago. Lord have mercy on Wendy and Peter.
Thank you so much coach. That was beyond helpful! I’m grateful for you and I admire the knowledge you have. May God bless you.
Nice video Stephanie. I know alot (I mean ALOT) of women who are dating these guys. I honestly didn't realize this phenomenon was a thing. Great insight! I work with quite a few guys who lack self-confidence or experience low self-esteem (personally and/or professionally). Sounds like there is a correlation with the Peter Pan Syndrome.
I'm single for a reason due to dating looser men but I too needed to look at myself too and I realized I'm a part of the problem too
Hi All, We have the ability to GUIDE OUR INTENTIONS for a relationship. We just need to PRACTICE. Helpful TIP for me in early recovery and for those I guide in transition from past harming patterns:
COUNT TO TEN before taking action
DETAIL YOUR INTENTIONS
PLAY THE TAPE FORWARD to NOT serving yourself with what you want.
Best WISHES and PRACTICES for us all!
Love it 🥰 thank you!! ☺️
@@nikkolyn1122 Hi Nice, glad to hear it helps. Food for thought, I have more tips and guidance on my channel. All of the best care, in all ways, Lee!
Peter Pan syndrome should apply to women as well. I was married to someone who portrayed exactly what you said: immature, unable to handle conflict, didn’t know who they were, couldn’t communicate well, selfish, narcissistic etc etc.
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?.
WhatsApp💕💕💕💕him he can help you💕💕💕💕💕.
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Facts. Lmao
Yes - I have cut off a few female friends who are like this
It's totally okay to love childish things, like playing with toys after college or work, but it is not okay to be a narcissist that needs someone to take care of him whilst giving nothing in return.
I watched this to help me grow up, but the list of what makes a man immature was exactly all the things my ex-girlfriend was doing.. Maybe we all need to double-check ourselves for these same flaws
Very true yes I agree thanks for your advice it teaches me not to date toxic men I appreciate your videos thanks
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly??
WhatsApp💕💕💕💕him he can help you💕💕💕💕💕..
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You are Amazing! This is so spot on!!!!.
"emotions will overlook redflags" love it 👍❣️
You’re always so spot on Stephanie 🙌 Thank you 💕xx
Steffi you make me smile .namaste love and light . Good luck precious one
w o w. This was my ex to a T!! dramatic/defensive and acted like a child :) loved this video.
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?
WhatsApp💕💕💕💕him he can help you💕💕💕💕💕
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Me too. Impossible to talk to because their ego was constantly getting in the way.
@@leag5717 yes!! Would not take responsibility for their actions either!!
I feel like I have just listened to a bio on the man that I've dated/entertained for the past two years. Thank you Stephanie... am now processing and working through it all x
I wish I had heard about this before. You explained it extremely well with great examples. My question now is what happens when you are married to one for two years .
Run run as fast as you can ......with all do respect. I was married to one for twenty years bless you sweetheart 🤗💞🙏
Please note: childishness is characterized by tantrum throwing, and selfishness; while childlikeness is characterized by curiosity, generosity, selflessness.
Just sayin'.
Hard truths here and the work's definitely cut out for me. Thanks!
Can women have the Peter Pan syndrome? I actually clicked on this video because my NM has always been obsessed with Peter Pan. She obstinately & proudly proclaims that she will “never grow up”
"You are no whack/You are the real deal"!!!
Sounds like what Dr. Ramani describes as.....'The Benign Narcissist.'
Interesting 🤔
I’ve been so confused for the past seven years, since we got married. EVERYTHING CHANGED!! thank you so much for this video. I also want to thank God for putting this in front of me at THIS moment because it explained my husband to a T. He’s 56, I’m 39. We’ve been together 12 years now and since we got married and he changed, I’ve been beating myself up and would searching because he has me thinking everything is my fault, SO MANY narcissistic tendencies but not 100%. What do I do now, divorce isn’t an option, we vowed forever and I won’t give up on him. Please help me!!
I've been the Peter Pan before. But I'm putting the work in to change.
Thank you for a very informative video and great help as always.
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly??
WhatsApp💕💕💕💕him he can help you💕💕💕💕💕..
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Thank you so much ❤️
Thank you
I Love this, mostly friend
Lyn
That was very helpful thank you!
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?
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I'm not so sure its okay to write someone off in a relationship who isn't yet sure what they want in life and is unable to make a decision in that sense. I don't think that makes someone flaky or not up to the mark at all. Okay, some men and women get stuck in that frame of mind and never find their way but for plenty of others its just a transitional phase for them, they just need to find their way. Its great if someone does have clear direction but I feel many factors can come into play to lead a person to feel unsure as to which path to take in terms of a career or otherwise and its not necessarily a sign of emotional immaturity in my opinion, perhaps they are taking their time and wanting to try different opportunities first. More important is how people treat others and how they handle themselves when upset or under stress, how kind they are, if they can self-reflect etc. I understand that many men and women do look for someone who is confident in knowing exactly what they want and how they will go about reaching their goals but it doesn't always come so easily for some, they just take a detour along the way, but can still be great relationship material and we can accept them for who they are.
Good point....
THANK YOU 🙏🏼
Or maybe just chronic illness sux the life out of you... feeling like I shouldn’t have tried @ now. But good words and thanks for standing up for the counter-cultural. Not happy w how I’ve done it on this side but waygd??
Work hard 😓
But SERIOUSLY 😐
“how kind they are and how they handle themselves under stress... what kind of a person they are...”
THANK YOU 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌈
My sixty one year old cousin just moved back to the .States. from Tokyo ,Japan.He spent 20 years there and came back to the states broke. He said that money was not his focus.
He now lives in his sister's basement and watches TV all day long and wont look for a job.
The more we heal, the uglier our peter pan will look
💯💯💯
It don't matter as long as we all care enough to send ourselves the very best bless us all 🤗💞🙏
@@sophielandis7953 @DaniellaTan
FACTS 💯💯
@@veronicakennedy5269 we should remember how ugly they are, so that we do not let ourselves fall for their lies ever again
Amazing! Thank you! Blessings!
Yes several but last 2 we're the worst. The one was66 going on 4 year old temper tantrums.. The last had every narc issue....
Thx 4 including an lgbt example 💚
Your beautiful brown eyes shine all the brighter with the depth of you're brilliance 🌷
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly??
WhatsApp💕💕💕💕him he can help you💕💕💕💕💕..
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Now married to a Peter pan boy who is 61yrs old. Deflect, refusing to take ownership n accountability the intentional inappropriate behaviour with the opposite sex a few times throughout the marriage with all kind of so call gd valid reasons disregarding a wife 's feeling ending up and denying in emotional affairs feeling n thinking that there is nothing wrong its not physical etc... just to short cut the story.
I listened to all of this and was very impressed. I did note that the video seemed to come from the perspective of women who find Peter Pan boys. I'm thinking that it isn't male exclusive, though. I was just discarded by a female that I noted had many of these Peter Pan descriptors. Also, I was going to purchase the coaching bundle, but that too seemed to be geared toward women. Do you have anything that is gender neutral? I really don't want to complete one of your courses and end up being a "High Value Woman," as you call it 😄
Stephanie, I watch your chanel a lot. YOu are very intelligent and share a lot of valuable insights. I don't disagree with the info you present here, but I don't think you should have framed this presentation in the context of talking about the way one's parents would size up a prospective mate for their child. Frankly, some people dont come from two parent homes. Some people don't have parents who are good judges of character. I think you may have been fortuneate enough to have a traditional household witha protective dad, etc. I think it is presumptuous of you to assume most people who watch this channel had mature repsonsible parents who were invested in their children's lives and who were good at evaluating thier children's mates. YOu should have just talked about the red flags and warning signs . Not hating. i like your channel
I don’t think a man that doesn’t want a relationship constitutes Peter Pan syndrome. A lot of women treat men like they are their mothers I don’t want any man in a relationship with a controlling woman y’all are grown no one should be controlling anyone.
Love it
According to what’s being said my wife and I both have it to some degree…
But in all honesty I wouldn’t wanna know someone who didn’t have it… we call those “normal people” and I’ve personally never met one that I would consider truly “Happy”
Their way too damn busy to be.
I own my own business and the wife is a bartender….
When not at work we are basically children who keep responsibility’s to an all time low because life is short.
This is a informative video 2 me. Stephanie I’m requesting more self help relationship videos like this it’s very healthy approach 2 examining one’s self knowledge of bad patterns bc dat was my worry about dating again, making repeated mistakes.
The point dat u made about da Robinhood guy vs. Da narcissist was very edifying! narcissistic traits show up like u said they’re intertwined behaviours. #Edifying!
❤️
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?
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Do you have any video or thoughts on been treat bad from your older brother going up then playing a role in te relationships you get as an adult, when your used to been treated poorly it feels normal to get treat poorly in relationships but now aware of it but still can no heal or no how to heal from this
Some of them are fine as new 🍇 very attractive so to speak. That is what gets them by with women.
Love your top it looks lovey on you 🧡
I wish this things were thought in school. Married to one for 8 years and counting.
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly??
WhatsApp💕💕💕💕him he can help you💕💕💕💕💕...
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There is so so much confusion about what narcissism actually is. The term is inaccurately thrown around way to much now. Sam Vaknin literally invented the language of narcissism. He can clarify this if one wishes. As far as Peter Pan, it is very easy to criticize and tell people what they need to be when you yourself had the luxury of adult emotional milestones and development. Peter Pan syndrome is NOT a choice. There are certainly coping strategies and good advice, but often it is the only real way of seeing the world a Peter Pan has ever known. It is not so simple as just telling someone to “grow up”. It’s like telling a short person to “get taller”. They often try as best as they can, given their limited development and mental organizational skills.
Yes i have dated one. Im so glad we are not togther anymore.
I've just broke up with a Peter Pan. he didn't want to make this driving licence. His mamma does his laundry. He lived in a tiny appartement with his daughter and didn't want to have a bigger one because other wise he had to look for another job .... And in this case he had to have a driving license. He sad : no way .
His daughter is 12 years old and she needs her own room. He sleeps on his Coach when she comes over. she sleeps on a bed where he and I had our intimate moments the day before. He is not even that interested enough to give her a possibility to have her own room. And that's the moment where I've de decided to leave.
considering you don't know how to spell basic english, you're no picnic either
I became a widow on my wedding day - I didn't know I was marrying a dead man.
looking at a wonderful woman like you dese men are never gonna grow up!!!! OY'VEY!!! 😳😲🤯👍
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?
WhatsApp💕💕💕💕him he can help you💕💕💕💕💕
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The world will crush you. It will make you cold and calloused. It will steal your joy, your youth, your passion. The world will try to age you and make you worn. And after all that? If you've still got Peter Pan? You're a goddamned hero. So, count me in for Peter Pan because I will always fly, dance, believe in magic and carry my sword. Everyone else can marvel as they become increasingly more rickety and cynical.
Right
Peter Pam syndrome is not just men. Women can have this and I see it a lot.
True
So what do we call the female version???
Peter pan don't mater of the sex it not willing to care enough to send the very best bless you sweetheart 🤗💞🙏
@@veronicakennedy5269 well apparently if there is a name for the male version, it would make sense that there would be a name for the female version. Unless! We're not supposed to view females that way. But with all the confusion on gender maybe it shouldn't matter and be called something else that's more gender-neutral.
Petrina Panita?
Wendy syndrome