If women truly desire toxic men, those women themselves are toxic. An emotionally healthy person doesn’t desire darkness ,dysfunction, violence or destruction in any form. Good guys do not finish last, they’re being protected.
When the good guy holds true ,he ends up in control of his well being...toxic people are sick and in later life those sickness scars do not disappear and everything they have come into contact with is damaged
Her advice was: switch the dating pool (for her daughter specifically). She also said: get your hair done, get botox, invest in make up and get brasilian butt lift. Do you always cherrypick this heavily?
@@hdshjs Nahhhhh, that other advice was for girls that are not her daughter, for her daughter it was "just wait." Which is a whole thing on it's own. From that, you can tell she's overly critical of her son and her daughter is the perfect angel that can do no wrong and it's the best thing ever and if guys can't see that.... it's them in the wrong, because she can't improve in any possible way.
Him getting ripped at the gym it’s not going to get him results or getting women that’s a bunch of crap women are attracted to guys that don’t care about nothing and a truthful guy as well as a woman find attractive
She's a scientist and professor talking about research findings in a conversational manner. Are you an expert in this field and think she is misrepresenting the research? Or does the research just not fit with your ideology?
@@simonmackenzie6230 She's just regurgitating manosphere nonsense. This is what happens when a society is embedded in pornography and dysfunction. She is NOT a friend to science or women, quite the contrary. Also, it is scientifically proven that being agreeable or pleasant makes one appear more attractive so i don't know where these new age so-called "experts" get their data. It's not even biological I could go on and on about the falsehood of this nice guy vs bad boys BS. TRY me!
Son: Hit the gym, make money, study and make yourself more desirable. Daughter: Wait for your prince charming because you are a strong, independent woman (Here is your cat)
1:30 How bout her gym panacea programming? At 6'0 & 147 lbs, I never had anxiety: just opposite, I'd always end up guarding these few big dudes that even other big dudes would shy away from for some reason... happened for a decade, at multiple hoop courts all around PHX.
To be fair she's probably just worried the sisterhood will disapprove. Clearly smart enough and trusts the research but man the hivemind must be seething.
Double standards, she tells her son to go the gym to make himself more attractive but can't bring herself (dodges) the question when it comes to telling her daughter to be more beautiful and attractive.
It's often the case that people do not recognize the contradictory view they have on the same matter. But in such case it's always better to speak in public as an expert on such things less and to reflect on onself more. Maybe this is something this lady should look into while doing some soul searching at home?
And she also greatly minimized the control they have over their dating life, stating that what men find attractive is outside their control. It's not. Top 2 turn offs for men are out of shape and masculine attitude. Both of those are fully within their control. Lady is just making excuses. It's actually ironic. You would think if whymen had just 1 thing to improve (looks) in order to get a man that it would be easy. And yet, men are less obese.
Biased like those that see the flaws of the women but not the flaws of the men? Nevermind the fact that we all have flaws yet people on both sides keep feeling the need to feed this war. Either way, she was asked a question and she answered it.
Hogwash! I am very attracted to nice guys. I despise "bad boys" and jerks. I may be in the minority, but I love being treated good and respected. My father was a jerk and I steered very clear away from men that acted like him.
It's not "hogwash", because you're basing this on your anecdotal evidence. Some people prefer this and some prefer that...seems like best way of looking at it.
Many college professors and doctors have been indoctrinated by the education system, even more sometimes because of their length of time in the system. I noticed that she didn't mention key values and character as affecting "attractiveness".
@@djaeger-k5m Teachers think they know everything. She is a college Professor. Put this woman at a Seven Eleven and she will be lost in what to do around the store. She is an intellectual person. Most of these people are just in their fantasy worlds. Teachers think they have the answers to everything and they don't. Teachers memorize books and teach them in their classrooms to students, but it's all knowledge they do. They have no real skills when it comes to the real world of how to solve real problems. She has no idea what to do if a pipe in the city breaks and leaks dirty waters on the city streets. Teacher's are theorists only. 2024,USA
Sure, it helps to have physical attractiveness but when you're older and more mature as a guy it's important to find the right person who matches your personality and you have natural chemistry with. You can't force or fake chemistry. And that's much more important than looks. Because looks can fade but whats more important is who she is beneath the exterior. Does she have a good heart, is she kind, has a sense of humor, matches your energy and wit. That's what I look for and desire in a partner. Someone for the long term and not short term benefits like looks.
My grandpa has a saying: some people look good until they open they mouth and speak up. And this is how physical atrractiveness plays out in real life, without good manners, being tactful so showing some sensitivity to the situation and emotions of other and to their culture and values, without being polite and showing basic respect for a fellow human being it's just this shallow first impression which is gone very second someone says something to another person. Not to mention the physical side declines with age and as it does the character and how someone carries himself comes to the surface more and more.
@@alleduc9419 People are born with chemistry. Chemistry is not a skill. It's something you are born with, period. You attract people if you have chemistry. You attract friends and you attract the women that you like into your life for Love. 2024, USA
She doesnt mention that all the dating apps indicate that men rate women's physical attractiveness exponentially more generously than women rate men. So - be more beautiful is probably not helpful. Men might be relatively open minded as to physical attractiveness compared to women, but differentiate more on interpersonal attractiveness. Probably most men are less drawn to negative traits like selfishness or violence compared to women, because how does that assist men who dont need physical protection from a partner. But men do need emotional and practical support. Its obvious from those two points that a woman who (a) doesnt exclude the majority of men based on shallow criteria and (b) is charming and supportive, will not struggle to find a mate
Its all about being the best version of yourself, for men and women. Everyone is looking for that magic pill. The magic pill is just doing what you love and enjoy and of course being self-aware so that you can catch the best fish in your pond.
When you asked about her daughter, she started stuttering, as a father of a boy and a girl. I can wholeheartedly come to the conclusion, Dr Hill isn't a real one. Saying that while she was speaking of her son, she was spot on. Other than that, forget about it...
Never recommend Botox, or any other cosmetic surgery for that matter. It usually looks horrible, and desperate. Katie Price is everybody's warning against going down that road.
Any cosmetic work is a bad idea. You might have some good results in the short term, but in the long term you always look worse than you would've if you never had anything done.
Agree, it changes the face more than people realise & not for the better, it just screams insecurity & sends a bad message to the younger generation that it's just normal now.
Tbh it's probably good advice for some people. The examples of these plastic looking women are mostly women who were already super attractive to begin with and turned themselves into a Barbie doll. I definitely agree they look worse. Not everyone is a model though. For someone who isn't attractive to many people, it could be helpful. That said, it's still often not good advice because it can easily be a path to mental illness and self-absorption.
I sang on Cruise ships and the spa on the ship offered Botox to me and I said what the hell. I hated it! I was an actor and so you really need to express your thoughts through facial expressions and it was terrible because I felt paralyzed. I’d rather have some forehead wrinkles and be able to really express myself. I don’t get why people like it to be honest.
When you criticize plastic surgery, you often get a response about being biased against aging, but people who utilize these procedures don't look old, they look alien. They get into the uncanny valley and people start viewing them like mannequins or some other type of fake human.
She didn't say that. She gave some ways in which women might could increase their attractiveness to some men, and then emphasized that she wouldn't write that book. :) But, that said, all of this stuff about attraction has to be understood as generalities that apply to masses; not individual recommendations or 'sentences' of loneliness or failure for people who don't meet that, per se. For example, maybe a lot of men respond positively to botox and implants, but I prefer women who are natural, even if they have crow's feet and are a little small in the bust. No offense to women who undergo those, but botox and implants make me think they're shallow.
She's not saying that there aren't things women can do to become more attractive - she's saying that she would never give her daughter the advice to go through the trouble of doing those things. In other words, if men aren't attracted to her as she is then there's bound to be men elsewhere that will be. If there's any bias there it's her faith in how beautiful she believes *her own daughter* is, not her faith in every single woman on the planet. And she was speaking about what men in general can do to increase attractiveness because the one of the main points of the convo is about how men in general are self-proclaimed to be struggling out there.
She's not biased, she's just stating that women can only increase their beauty to be more attractive to men. Intelligence, personality, etc add no value from an evolutionary/biological standpoint. Honestly, I would think this whole interview works as a great ad for the beauty industry.
Of course they can, but not in the same way that men become attractive! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN! A man will not be more attractive if he begins to put on lots of make up, lipstick and a pink skirt!! In fact, it is rather the opposite.
Exact same here, I have a husband who I know will stay around and look after our family, not a bad boy who I'll need to worry is cheating on me every 5 mins, no thank you
I wish for women who don't like nice guys to stop trying to speak for all the women in all kinds of mass media that all women do not like nice guys. The fact that you are yourself a woman who does not like nice guys does not mean that all women are like you. As simple as that. For all I know well-mannered and mentaly stable, calm people tend to fancy nice people. And it's not even gender thing. It's just that similarities attract too. If someone is a nice person it's always easier to get along with another nice person. And yes, it applies both to romantic and non-romantic relationship. And if you fancy toxic, stop advocating toxic to people who favour healthy relationships with other people.
Women aren't the only ones preaching this nice guy-bad boy divide tho. The redpill/blackpill community does too, and they do so with resentment. The nuance that's missing is that the kind of nice guys you speak in favor of (i.e., those that successfully find meaningful, stable, long term relationships) I can guarantee you aren't the kind of guys people are referring to when they say "nice guys finish last." The "nice guys" in that proverbial sense are those that are nice to the point of being overly agreeable and not very assertive at all. So much so that they barely reveal their own personality because they're desparately trying to people please the woman rather than truly connect with her. It comes across as weak, especially compared to a "bad boy" who at least is genuine and more inclined to be protective (in theory, instinctively). Most women are going to be attracted to some healthy balance between genuinely kind yet with balls enough to stand up for himself, his woman, and his family if the need ever arose. And I'm not talking purely physical. That said, any girl that's just looking to have some fun for the night likely isn't aiming for a one-night stand with a choir boy.
@@Chrisratata THIS. the word shud be kind. women like kind guys, not inauthentic nice guys. nice guys are nice bcz they dnt hv anything else to offer. they r fake nice.
I was very, very assertive, bordering aggressive when I met my wife. All the things I am not normaly. I told myself fuck it, lets see where it gets me. 24 years later, we're still together and happy as can be. But if I would have been the tender loving respectful guy when we met, aka "the nice guy" I'm 100% sure I would have been invisible to her. In my experience, what women say they want and what they're really attracted to are very different things.
For example, men who are househusbands must very confident or very oblivious. It shouldn't be like that, everyone should be able to be who they want to be, and I'm sure for some couples it works long term. However, for the majority, reality is still reality. While she's building up her career, it must be very convenient, but once she gets to be where she wants to be in her career and surrounded with likeminded ambitious and successful men, the temptation must be huge to jump ship.
I don't even think that's the case. If it was, she would've been a lot more confident and fluent in her responses, but she stumbles most of the time trying to decide if she should filter her responses or not. I think she really believes in what she's saying is the right way, which makes it even scarier, especially coming from someone who's supposed to be an educated professional.
@@farab4391 Yes, she's actively fighting the cognitive dissonance as she speaks. She's aware on some level but continues with her programming in the end. This line of thinking is exactly what I expect out of "educated professionals". The term is as ironic as they come.
Love how it's "go to the gym so you can look better and be more attractive and have higher testosterone" for the son but for the daughter she basically provides no actual actions, just more of a throwing your hands up as if she's helpless and subject to the whims of fate. "Sorry sweetheart, but you're just in the wrong dating pool". Literally everyone can make themselves look better by eating better and going to the gym regularly. This is ridiculous. She just doesn't want to tell her daughter to do this. I have daughters and I'll be telling them this, but not even for relationship purposes, just general health and wellness reasons. The relationship stuff is just an added bonus.
She also said: get your hair done, get botox, invest in make up and get brasilian butt lift. Do you always cherrypick this heavily? You also probably don't want your son to consider 'finding a mate' most important goal of his life. Or do you?
I love nice guys - those are the only ones I’ve ever stayed in long term relationships with. As soon as a guy was a jerk to me, I was OUT. I hate that saying “nice guys finish last” - they absolutely do NOT finish last. They’re wonderful and every woman should be with men who treat her with love, kindness & respect ❤
Unless I missed something, it sounds like you didn't stay with them. If they were a jerk to you then they were not nice guys. So leaving that set out, if you didn't stay with them, I would say they certainly didn't finish first. What am I missing?
Being elegant, respectful, agreeable, not promiscuous, reserved, supportive, not argumentative, and natural looking, minimal make up, no prior children and in or around the mid twenties.These are all things men are not only attracted to but will make the man stay and possibly wife you up. Do not listen to this woman that is telling you what men seek out in women. Most women are attractive but most do not hold these traits, they are rare and extremely sought after and most of them are absolutely in your control. Men like to be wanted and all they seek is reciprocation in the relationship and they will return that.
Omg, please know that not all women are like this. If she finds you undesirable because you're being genuinely nice to her. Then clearly, she is the problem, they are so used to mean men that their minds can't comprehend. She is the problem, not you! It's annoying to keep hearing this, we are just dividing and not being our true authentic selves due to this toxicity!
The nuance isn't coming out here, and in most explanations of what's going on. There is certainly a subset of women (and men , really) that, due to environmental conditions during their character formation (e.g. not having a father figure), almost go out of their way to find someone that will walk all over them and be $#Itty. This even will happen with lesbian relationships, so I don't think it is even a male/female issue in that sense. Then there are people who are non-confontational "people pleasers", that will bend to avoid confrontation and keeping others happy. I believe this is the subset of guys that are considered the "nice guys" in this scenario. There are more types worth mentioning in length, but to keep it brief, I will get to the point. The so called "not so nice guys" is an unfair breakdown. What women are really attracted to is being strong in beliefs and not backing down even if it is "offensive" (not sure that's the best word for it). Believe it or not, there are guys that are kind and empathetic, but still aren't afraid to stick up for the beliefs and preferences even if it bothers others around them. Respect for others is something you learn early and work toward for the rest of your life. Saying what you believe and being unapologetic about it is the kind of thing I think women are attracted to. There are ways to not be completely rude about it, too. While many will put up with rudeness and crass because they like this trait, there's others out there that still do it in a kind and apologetic manner. Trust me!
GENUINELY nice is your key word there though... Nice Guy / Bad Boy isn't some binary dichotomy that a woman is only on one side of or the other. Obviously a woman that's only into truly toxic men is toxic herself and should be avoided. A kind man that knows how to be reasonably assertive when he needs to be tends to be the sweet spot - a man can be this without being neither a pushover nor a jerk. But the romantic droughts of the former compared to the sexual successes of the latter is where these simplified titles come from. The term "nice guy" in discussions like these essentially means a simp - a guy being nice to the point of coming across like a pushover. Always agreeable, never takes risks in conversation, puts her on a pedastal, never speaks up for himself, hence [her instincts tell her that] he may likely never be man enough to stand up to others and protect. It's not that the average woman wants the *toxicity* of a "bad boy" - but the general idea here is that *compared to* the "nice guy", the bad boy shows signs the he's far more likely to stand up for himself, hence likely to be able to protect her and their family whenever the need arises. The "badness" is just a proxy. The problem is that many women let that face value proxy fool them into putting up with more toxicity than it's worth. Bottom line, genuinely nice isn't a problem...fawning over a girl for merely existing is.
@@JoeHagen-y5x exactly... "Nice guys" are merely the type that don't stand up for themselves. You can be nice without being a pushover the same way you can be strong without being a jerk about it, but it's a reality that some women will choose the jerk over the pushover because they're turned on by how safe it makes them feel. This doesn't mean that most women want to date a jerk.
@@Chrisratata Well, yes and no. The problem in our modern, easy times is that it can take quite a while until a man needs to show a bit of the steel underneath to get through the day. That includes dating situations. It's not that a lot of nice guys CAN'T stand up for themselves. It's just not a way of behaving they usually have to apply to get things done. Quite the contrary. Polite and cooperative gets you the raises in jobs without a career track. I think the main issue is that we try to evolve our cultural norms towards contradictory goals: individualism makes us revert towards uncultured, hormone-driven creatures that increasingly discard the values and rituals that used to bring us together, while at the same time the demand for cooperative behaviour in the workplace and in most social situations outside of mating increases. Average guys need to become softer to eat, but display themselves as harder to get a chance to mate. Of course that doesn't work out for an increasing number of men, and as a consequence for the women, too.
Nah. She just knows that if her daughter meets a Redpillers, she will be looked at with contempt as distrust just because she is a woman. If she changed the pool however to 'nice guys'/beta male - she has chance for a lasting relationship. Man are the one that gatekeep ralationships and make things happen. And as Redpillers say: her daughter loses value as she ages. That's why it makes no logical sense for her to stick with a crowd that ignores her. She can not 'pick up' a man. If she tried she would be seen as desperate and maybe used for sex. Or you are a guy who falls in love when woman ask you out, court you, propose to you? Because you are basing your opinion on something ...right?
there are so many other things I highly value in a woman other than just physical attractiveness alone. Her opinions are filled with nothing but generalizations about men
The question was 'how to attract a mate' according to research. Can you please explain how are research results suppose to NOT to be generalizations? :)
This woman wants men to work hard and be trophies and good at her side so she wants them to work out and be better. She feeds that to her son. While simultaneously wanting to be accepted and not have to work for it at all so she tells her daughter to do the same. Don't feed your bad bias to your children. Good luck to her daughter with her mom-fed high standards.
Interesting how men are viewed as these one-dimensional creatures who ONLY care about looks. And this is why men should not take advice from the other side. Quite frankly, the waffling of the doctor when it came to whymen working out is baffling. A whyman being fit is far more important than facial beauty. A 7 face with a 9 body will run laps around a 9 face with a 7 body.
They WANT to be able to complain about how narcissistic he is, a year later. Why? Because they can't tell the difference between that confidence they love and arrogance.
I have been saying for somewhere around a decade now when the topic of conversation moves to relationships that women, not all but for most part & to such a degree that it may as well be all of them, are fundamentally incapable of discerning between arrogance & confidence. From my observations, both turn them on, but for whatever reason arrogance is the more potent of the two.
There is a difference between high testosterone but preferring a serious, committed relationship vs high testosterone but preferring to stay unattached. Not everyone with high testosterone are arrogant and risk taking. Some are actually very reserved and self disciplined.
If 1000 men are attracted to a woman in a position of power, and they choose to enter her harem, 999 men have just exited the gene pool. If it was the other way around? Oh wait!
As a man I disagree with the statement that what men look for, are things that women don't have that much control over in min 2:48 . Things like taking care of herself by going to the gym and having a clean diet affect her body and skin making her more attractive. Now what women seek physically, usually are things that men have no control over, for example their height.
I have a few bossy co-workers that are women and they haven't exactly put themselves in successful situations. They keep digging holes for themselves by talking about others behind backs, being extremely pushy, trying to manipulate others, lie, and piss everyone off around them.
Confidence in a woman is letting your man hold the reins, letting him fight or go to war etc. It is NOT being a warrior-princess yourself. It's about submission, don't be a battleaxe.
Taking a risk, being courageous or bold doesn't have to be toxic. We are all attracted to those things because they show confidence and not necessarily arrogance. Being 'nice' as referenced in the video title often means that you play it too safe for fear of seeming toxic or arrogant. It's easy to spot fear which itself can also be toxic to the person under it's influence because it is holding them back from taking the steps necessary to achieve a goal. There's so much more to this, of course, but if we're nice because we're fearful then I guess step 1 is to take a small risk. Step into the water, perhaps afraid, but step in anyway. Courage isn't the absence of fear, it is stepping forward despite the fear. Courage can also been seen easily and we love to see it exercised too!
Great question! By asking her about her own children, she made it personal. While talking to the girl, she was subconsciously speaking to herself, and it’s hard to say “you’re not enough” to yourself-it’s heartbreaking. As a man, you may need more time to find resources and build discipline to support a family, but that doesn’t mean you’re not enough. You are enough! Stop sharing cold, heartless advice as if it's science.
As doctor nothing here are some tips on how to make a woman more attractive: stop being standoffish about everything and anything, tell the man that you are interested in that you are interested in them and the things that you like about them, stop demanding men to have money and resources that you are not able to source yourself, stop demanding standards that do not match your current standard or are anywhere near them, go to the gym and work all your muscles, smile to the man you like, have interesting hobbies and conversations, ask from men which of your physical and psychological qualities are attractive and enhance them, date according to your attractiveness rank and interests, learn and display some home and live in general management skills, be responsible with your money.
"as if men walk around worrying about being beat up." Seriously? I can only assume it must be nice and warm in the basement of your parents house? Try going out to a pub one night...you know, where the working class hang out. In other words the majority of men.
I am a nice guy with three younger sisters. I married late and am doing well. Now years later many of my sisters friends want me to be "aware of them". I have not changed and the life of long-term values is good. It's creepy to be pitched by women when I am not in the game and not interested.
The answer is simple and lies in the numbers. The success rate of "bad boys" is exactly the same as that of "nice guys", but "bad boys" try more often, and "nice guys" try less often, which gives the mistaken impression that the latter have less success with women, when their chances are the same as any other man. Just try harder and you will have more success. In the end, we are almost all children of "nice guys" who were successful and formed a couple at some point in their lives.
You have women who wants a man they'll marry and have a family with and you have the others. With the others it's a risky adventure and there are a lot of obstacles out there preventing you to meet THE woman you are looking for. Be careful on that track.
Prior to about the 1960s and going all the way back to the beginning of humans, any "nice guy" that wanted a relationship and marriage had one (many with good looking women)...and the marriage normally remained strong until death. Then the sexual revolution came along and replaced love with lust, infatuation, superficialness, and selfishness.
Testosterone is a huge game changer for a man's life, speaking from experience. Being 45 year old now, measured my T levels from 35 year old, it's been low normal levels always, normal for a 90 year old. And looking back my life, it's been always low and I have hardly attracted women into my life. Comparing to my friend, who's levels are high normal and he's taking risks, have he's own comapany and he attracts easily beautiful women in Tinder to go out on a date. I also don't get respect from others and in groups I am always left out from communication and I feel like a 5'th wheel. But even so, I do feel confident enough and feel ok what I do in my life, but it's always safe play. I'm a nice guy, who is picked last. 😄
There are lots of things both sexes can do to attract a mate. Seemed like she didn't want to say it for women. Women have a lot of control over the following: being fit, healthy, and looking after themselves, cultivating divine feminine traits, learning how to manage their emotions, finding activities that they enjoy, learning to be domestic, embracing feminine sensuality, dress classy and feminine, learn about men etc etc etc and none of them involve surgery. Ps she should tell her daughter to get her hair done if she needs it.
Physically and mentally, men and women who work on bettering themselves for personal growth reasons, do find each other attractive in most cases. You are only a 'Nice guy' or even a 'Nice girl' when you havent got the first part nailed, while you act nice to the opposite sex in return for their favours that you think you deserve. Be a good person who genuinely shows up for themself and then for the one(s) he/she cares about. The way you act and how your relationships turn out is a reflection of who you are on the inside, so do not be let down if things don't work out. Don't concern yourself too much with a made-up clique, but be a decent and caring human being, although be ready to wade through a puddle of mud to reach your person. What you are; you will inevitably attract if you put yourself out there.
This woman would do well to watch your previous video where you interviewed the woman about communication behavior, friendships, and relationships. She has a pattern of constantly finishing her sentence with a higher tone as if to ask a question every time she speaks.
I think for most mature women over 30, they want you to be an adult who will stand up for your yourself and others and not be a pushover, and to know who you are and what you want in life, because she doesn't want to waste her time with someone who just wants to fuck around. There will always be exceptions though. I'm 37M and I recognise I really need to work on this. I've recently realised through work that I have a real problem with not speaking up for myself, which can lead to missing out on lots of better outcomes. And it extends into my personal life as well. I lack self confidence and probably need therapy.
The problem is when too many women are attracted to bad boys at that pivotal period in their early 20s, When in their early 20s men see that, it seems like there is no reason to be a nice/good guy. So women get to their 30s and ask "Where are all the good men?" it is often because they are either married or at that pivotal time in their lives they saw there was reason to be a good guy so they became the jerk.
I've married a 'Nice guy' and after all these years he has become more like another child and not a Partner. He always wants to please anyone and don't understand that's just not posible. I don't see him as a 'nice guy' anymore but as someone who didn't develope a character. He has also no personal goals or ambitions. Maybe some women can look at the whole picture so they avoid them.
You can never change your partner, you can only change yourself, and I found when you work on yourself you often notice there is nothing wrong with your partner. I hope you read my comment and wish you the best.
Sure, but you'll probably end up cheating on your man with some bloke who doesn't have any goals or ambitions but just drives a big sexy truck and maybe a few other guys with "goals and ambitions" and if you do eventually leave your husband, you will probably find yourself either regretting it, or you will realize that its YOU that doesn't have the goals and ambitions and you'll be wondering why you can't keep a partner or be happy.
I think you missed a few things when it comes to men, namely about increasing your daughter's attraction. Just say that she could be more feminine, have a sweet voice, be more passive and no combative, more well-groomed, and it will exponentially increase men's attraction to women.
A factor that I see missing in a lot of the comments, when addressing women who love "bad boys", is age. I'm sure it's more about immaturity and inexperience vs many of the other points made.
The sad fact of the matter is men are most interested in women in their 20's. It's all well and good that older women like more mature men but the interest just isn't there anymore.
@@dannyboy1200 Sure. Also a woman can mature in her 20s and realize from dating experience that "bad boys" arent for her. A woman doesnt have to be 40, 50, 60 years old to figure this thing out.
She just pissed me off “study and work hard” that works well for people of a certain ethnic group. You have to do much, much more as a black and brown individual.
Great interview skills and a surprisingly unprepared guest. What did she think you'll be talking about? She seemed surprised by every question and trying to think on the fly.
I think there's a wide range of what it means to be a "nice guy". If he's considered nice because he never attempts to stand up for himself (i.e. he's a doormat), he's not going to be attractive to women. Women want a man who is capable of taking care of himself. Otherwise, how could he take care of her? On the other hand, a man who is kind and considerate to a woman, but also makes it clear he is not going to take any shit from her (or anyone), I think he would do all right in the dating pool.
It's like she's never considered these issues in her entire life - shouldn't an expert already have worked out her opinion? So is her advice to women to get physical enhancements or not? Or she thinks that it is good advice but won't say that because...? Highly confusing.
She’s spot on in a lot of ways. At least she’s being brutally honest. Most women want to be attractive and “most” men want a beautiful women. Thank you
Commenters are reaffirming what she says about the attractiveness of strong, confident women. Step back, she's describing reality in our American culture, not her own biases. She's not saying Everyone conforms to the behaviors she describes, but the majority do. Those who think she's full of shit because they aren't attracted to "bad boys", or what she says for women, are like those people who complain about the tv weather report because the temperature at their house is hotter or cooler that the weatherman says.
People get so confused on this topic. It's not that women are attracted to ass holes, they are attracted to the confidence that a lot of ass holes have. The problem with a lot of nice guys is that they often lack confidence, are insecure and needy, and can come across as lacking masculinity. This is a turn off for women. Also a lot of nice guys are afraid to approach women whereas the bad boy isn't. So the best thing is for a man to be a confident nice guy rather than a confident ass hole. You have to be a nice guy but masculine at the same time. Don't be insecure and needy.
Quite funny how we all know this is indeed true and is an accurate representation of reality, but many react emotionally attacking her, when she’s just the messenger of the fact. ps: it’s very likely that, if the messenger of the fact was male, the emotional response of people would immensely diminish. quite interesting.
Its pretty logical for women to not pick "nice guys" from this perspective... "id rather be a Warrior in a garden than a Gardener in a war" The Nice Guy, for the woman is the Gardener in the war (life for a man) Whereas the warrior in the Garden covers more of the bases that women desire. A warrior has more dimensions. The Multifaceted* Man will go further than the nice man only*.
im arrogant im bright i avoid situations when i can. i think of it as moving between d rain drops. im moving on to my nxt thing not stopping over something that is nothing.
Is there a point in their lives when women grow up and look for positive qualities in a man? It seems so immature and short sighted to seek out a person who burns bridges, ruins other people's lives and is a narcissist. I have known a gorgeous woman who was abused by men like this and she kept going back for more. And, the nice, good looking and put together guy she met, she dismissed.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
📺 Watch the full episode here
ruclips.net/video/MGposaKNJKQ/видео.html&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
If women truly desire toxic men, those women themselves are toxic.
An emotionally healthy person doesn’t desire darkness ,dysfunction, violence or destruction in any form. Good guys do not finish last, they’re being protected.
Very well said. I agree.
💯
Yes sir!
When the good guy holds true ,he ends up in control of his well being...toxic people are sick and in later life those sickness scars do not disappear and everything they have come into contact with is damaged
@@ihussain1011 Ma’am .. I’m a woman x
Son: Hit the gym, study, get more resources to make yourself more desirable.
Daughter: Just wait.
stopped right there..
Her advice was: switch the dating pool (for her daughter specifically). She also said: get your hair done, get botox, invest in make up and get brasilian butt lift. Do you always cherrypick this heavily?
@@hdshjs Nahhhhh, that other advice was for girls that are not her daughter, for her daughter it was "just wait."
Which is a whole thing on it's own. From that, you can tell she's overly critical of her son and her daughter is the perfect angel that can do no wrong and it's the best thing ever and if guys can't see that.... it's them in the wrong, because she can't improve in any possible way.
Him getting ripped at the gym it’s not going to get him results or getting women that’s a bunch of crap women are attracted to guys that don’t care about nothing and a truthful guy as well as a woman find attractive
Hitting the gym ain’t gonna do anything doesn’t work we’re not in 1950s anymore. Men build themselves and then women come that’s nonsense.
She got so stressed when the daughter question came up lol
Some people are paid to talk shit
Haha, I agree. I just wrote a whole paragraph on what is wrong with this video, but you've summed it up nicely :-)
What do you expect from pseudo intellectuals interviewing other pseudo intellectuals? Might as well watch Chris williamson....
Exactly! She is spewing the same red pill crap as the other grifters.
She's a scientist and professor talking about research findings in a conversational manner. Are you an expert in this field and think she is misrepresenting the research? Or does the research just not fit with your ideology?
@@simonmackenzie6230 She's just regurgitating manosphere nonsense. This is what happens when a society is embedded in pornography and dysfunction. She is NOT a friend to science or women, quite the contrary. Also, it is scientifically proven that being agreeable or pleasant makes one appear more attractive so i don't know where these new age so-called "experts" get their data. It's not even biological I could go on and on about the falsehood of this nice guy vs bad boys BS. TRY me!
Son: Hit the gym, make money, study and make yourself more desirable.
Daughter: Wait for your prince charming because you are a strong, independent woman (Here is your cat)
You can see her fighting her western feminist programming when it comes to the "daughter" segment.
Malfunctioning lol hilarious to witness
Totally agree with you double standard.
1:30 How bout her gym panacea programming?
At 6'0 & 147 lbs, I never had anxiety: just opposite, I'd always end up guarding these few big dudes that even other big dudes would shy away from for some reason... happened for a decade, at multiple hoop courts all around PHX.
To be fair she's probably just worried the sisterhood will disapprove. Clearly smart enough and trusts the research but man the hivemind must be seething.
She makes no sense. She is completely irrational!
Double standards, she tells her son to go the gym to make himself more attractive but can't bring herself (dodges) the question when it comes to telling her daughter to be more beautiful and attractive.
It's almost like men and women are different
She said for none daughters she would suggest botex and butt lifts. Her daughter will see the show and she doesn't want to scar the kid
It's often the case that people do not recognize the contradictory view they have on the same matter. But in such case it's always better to speak in public as an expert on such things less and to reflect on onself more. Maybe this is something this lady should look into while doing some soul searching at home?
Her feminism won’t allow her.
And she also greatly minimized the control they have over their dating life, stating that what men find attractive is outside their control. It's not. Top 2 turn offs for men are out of shape and masculine attitude. Both of those are fully within their control. Lady is just making excuses. It's actually ironic. You would think if whymen had just 1 thing to improve (looks) in order to get a man that it would be easy. And yet, men are less obese.
In the first minute she struggled explaining why good guys are also attractive.
Nice guys finish last. Adage as old as time itself, sometimes the classics never stop hitting the right notes.
She's biased. She sees the flaws of the men who struggle to find partners but not the flaws of the women.
Agree. Women like her are honestly annoying. One sided.
Right.
Superficial explanation
It’s called feminism
she realizes what women 35+ need to actually do
while not giving her daughter the pill of truth.
what a load of crap. fucking biased.
Biased like those that see the flaws of the women but not the flaws of the men? Nevermind the fact that we all have flaws yet people on both sides keep feeling the need to feed this war.
Either way, she was asked a question and she answered it.
Hogwash! I am very attracted to nice guys. I despise "bad boys" and jerks. I may be in the minority, but I love being treated good and respected. My father was a jerk and I steered very clear away from men that acted like him.
Yes, of course. You are the exception. Not like the other girls, hihi.
You like sports, and video games, and gosh darn are you quirky.
It's not "hogwash", because you're basing this on your anecdotal evidence. Some people prefer this and some prefer that...seems like best way of looking at it.
My first thought too. I never was interested in "bad boys", they don't make me feel safe
I agree!
"Because the tail exists, the body can be ignored." This is a fallacy about statistics. (screw youtube)
2:13 her entire philosophy is shot to pieces
She is an expert and a doctor, yet, I don't hesitate at all to disagree with most of the things I heard her say.
Many college professors and doctors have been indoctrinated by the education system, even more sometimes because of their length of time in the system. I noticed that she didn't mention key values and character as affecting "attractiveness".
ok, doctor commenter on youtube channels
These are the kind of people why I don’t trust in college at all… she’s told what to think, not to observe and formulate own thoughts and research
@@djaeger-k5m Teachers think they know everything. She is a college Professor. Put this woman at a Seven Eleven and she will be lost in what to do around the store. She is an intellectual person. Most of these people are just in their fantasy worlds. Teachers think they have the answers to everything and they don't. Teachers memorize books and teach them in their classrooms to students, but it's all knowledge they do. They have no real skills when it comes to the real world of how to solve real problems. She has no idea what to do if a pipe in the city breaks and leaks dirty waters on the city streets. Teacher's are theorists only. 2024,USA
Very disappointing.
I agree.
Why?
Life can be HARD for some
Sure, it helps to have physical attractiveness but when you're older and more mature as a guy it's important to find the right person who matches your personality and you have natural chemistry with. You can't force or fake chemistry. And that's much more important than looks. Because looks can fade but whats more important is who she is beneath the exterior. Does she have a good heart, is she kind, has a sense of humor, matches your energy and wit. That's what I look for and desire in a partner. Someone for the long term and not short term benefits like looks.
My grandpa has a saying: some people look good until they open they mouth and speak up. And this is how physical atrractiveness plays out in real life, without good manners, being tactful so showing some sensitivity to the situation and emotions of other and to their culture and values, without being polite and showing basic respect for a fellow human being it's just this shallow first impression which is gone very second someone says something to another person. Not to mention the physical side declines with age and as it does the character and how someone carries himself comes to the surface more and more.
Creating chemistry is a learnable skill. Most, if not all desirable traits are things that can be improved with effort and knowledge.
There's a contradiction between not faking chemistry and who is beneath the exterior.
@@agatastaniak7459 People should have respect for others. 2024
@@alleduc9419 People are born with chemistry. Chemistry is not a skill. It's something you are born with, period. You attract people if you have chemistry. You attract friends and you attract the women that you like into your life for Love. 2024, USA
I turned it off at 6:30 mark. Men are not intimidated by Kamala Harris. People didn’t vote for her because of her policies or La k of integrity.
Very true, Kamala is simply just horrible (I'm fairly liberal).
Wait, rich, attractive and athletic guys get a lot of women, odd.
Yeah, who'd have thought.
She doesnt mention that all the dating apps indicate that men rate women's physical attractiveness exponentially more generously than women rate men. So - be more beautiful is probably not helpful. Men might be relatively open minded as to physical attractiveness compared to women, but differentiate more on interpersonal attractiveness. Probably most men are less drawn to negative traits like selfishness or violence compared to women, because how does that assist men who dont need physical protection from a partner. But men do need emotional and practical support.
Its obvious from those two points that a woman who (a) doesnt exclude the majority of men based on shallow criteria and (b) is charming and supportive, will not struggle to find a mate
Its all about being the best version of yourself, for men and women. Everyone is looking for that magic pill. The magic pill is just doing what you love and enjoy and of course being self-aware so that you can catch the best fish in your pond.
When you asked about her daughter, she started stuttering, as a father of a boy and a girl. I can wholeheartedly come to the conclusion, Dr Hill isn't a real one. Saying that while she was speaking of her son, she was spot on. Other than that, forget about it...
Never recommend Botox, or any other cosmetic surgery for that matter. It usually looks horrible, and desperate. Katie Price is everybody's warning against going down that road.
Any cosmetic work is a bad idea. You might have some good results in the short term, but in the long term you always look worse than you would've if you never had anything done.
Agree, it changes the face more than people realise & not for the better, it just screams insecurity & sends a bad message to the younger generation that it's just normal now.
Tbh it's probably good advice for some people. The examples of these plastic looking women are mostly women who were already super attractive to begin with and turned themselves into a Barbie doll. I definitely agree they look worse. Not everyone is a model though. For someone who isn't attractive to many people, it could be helpful. That said, it's still often not good advice because it can easily be a path to mental illness and self-absorption.
I sang on Cruise ships and the spa on the ship offered Botox to me and I said what the hell. I hated it! I was an actor and so you really need to express your thoughts through facial expressions and it was terrible because I felt paralyzed. I’d rather have some forehead wrinkles and be able to really express myself. I don’t get why people like it to be honest.
When you criticize plastic surgery, you often get a response about being biased against aging, but people who utilize these procedures don't look old, they look alien. They get into the uncanny valley and people start viewing them like mannequins or some other type of fake human.
I'm so utterly disappointed by how biased she is. The idea that women cannot increase their attractiveness to men is laughable.
She didn't say that. She gave some ways in which women might could increase their attractiveness to some men, and then emphasized that she wouldn't write that book. :)
But, that said, all of this stuff about attraction has to be understood as generalities that apply to masses; not individual recommendations or 'sentences' of loneliness or failure for people who don't meet that, per se. For example, maybe a lot of men respond positively to botox and implants, but I prefer women who are natural, even if they have crow's feet and are a little small in the bust. No offense to women who undergo those, but botox and implants make me think they're shallow.
She's not saying that there aren't things women can do to become more attractive - she's saying that she would never give her daughter the advice to go through the trouble of doing those things. In other words, if men aren't attracted to her as she is then there's bound to be men elsewhere that will be. If there's any bias there it's her faith in how beautiful she believes *her own daughter* is, not her faith in every single woman on the planet.
And she was speaking about what men in general can do to increase attractiveness because the one of the main points of the convo is about how men in general are self-proclaimed to be struggling out there.
Can you pin point exactly in the video where that statement is made?
She's not biased, she's just stating that women can only increase their beauty to be more attractive to men. Intelligence, personality, etc add no value from an evolutionary/biological standpoint. Honestly, I would think this whole interview works as a great ad for the beauty industry.
Of course they can, but not in the same way that men become attractive!
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN!
A man will not be more attractive if he begins to put on lots of make up, lipstick and a pink skirt!! In fact, it is rather the opposite.
I like Nice Guys and am married to one too. Bad boys are not appealing. Why invite toxicity into your life for the rest of your life.
Exact same here, I have a husband who I know will stay around and look after our family, not a bad boy who I'll need to worry is cheating on me every 5 mins, no thank you
At what age did your relationship start?
This begs the question:
Did you get with him _while_ you were a *VIRGIN* or *AFTER* ? 🧐
@@julonkrutor4649 probably late in life when she already had fun with the bad boys and wanted to settle ofc
@@samwisethebravee540 exactly lol
Is this woman considered an expert?! 🧐
Yay !!! Feminism
There's no money in telling women the truth. She knows that, she knows it would end her, and that's the problem.
I wish for women who don't like nice guys to stop trying to speak for all the women in all kinds of mass media that all women do not like nice guys. The fact that you are yourself a woman who does not like nice guys does not mean that all women are like you. As simple as that. For all I know well-mannered and mentaly stable, calm people tend to fancy nice people. And it's not even gender thing. It's just that similarities attract too. If someone is a nice person it's always easier to get along with another nice person. And yes, it applies both to romantic and non-romantic relationship. And if you fancy toxic, stop advocating toxic to people who favour healthy relationships with other people.
Women aren't the only ones preaching this nice guy-bad boy divide tho. The redpill/blackpill community does too, and they do so with resentment.
The nuance that's missing is that the kind of nice guys you speak in favor of (i.e., those that successfully find meaningful, stable, long term relationships) I can guarantee you aren't the kind of guys people are referring to when they say "nice guys finish last." The "nice guys" in that proverbial sense are those that are nice to the point of being overly agreeable and not very assertive at all. So much so that they barely reveal their own personality because they're desparately trying to people please the woman rather than truly connect with her. It comes across as weak, especially compared to a "bad boy" who at least is genuine and more inclined to be protective (in theory, instinctively).
Most women are going to be attracted to some healthy balance between genuinely kind yet with balls enough to stand up for himself, his woman, and his family if the need ever arose. And I'm not talking purely physical.
That said, any girl that's just looking to have some fun for the night likely isn't aiming for a one-night stand with a choir boy.
@@Chrisratata THIS. the word shud be kind. women like kind guys, not inauthentic nice guys. nice guys are nice bcz they dnt hv anything else to offer. they r fake nice.
She lost me When She claimed men improve when they Hit the Gym but women should Wait or get their Hair done ok. And this woman has a Dr Title.
I was very, very assertive, bordering aggressive when I met my wife. All the things I am not normaly. I told myself fuck it, lets see where it gets me. 24 years later, we're still together and happy as can be. But if I would have been the tender loving respectful guy when we met, aka "the nice guy" I'm 100% sure I would have been invisible to her. In my experience, what women say they want and what they're really attracted to are very different things.
Men who get together with a bossy/dominant/career woman end up in DIVORCE,
THIS IT THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT KNOWLEDGE MEN NEED TO LEARN!
//
Boss Bitch syndrome is real, far too many exisiting in todays societies. Just check out cosmopolitan areas
For example, men who are househusbands must very confident or very oblivious. It shouldn't be like that, everyone should be able to be who they want to be, and I'm sure for some couples it works long term. However, for the majority, reality is still reality. While she's building up her career, it must be very convenient, but once she gets to be where she wants to be in her career and surrounded with likeminded ambitious and successful men, the temptation must be huge to jump ship.
Avoid women who have been to university.
well she sounds completely air-headed
She is trying to make money form controversy as do most of the media
That's every podcast.
I don't even think that's the case. If it was, she would've been a lot more confident and fluent in her responses, but she stumbles most of the time trying to decide if she should filter her responses or not. I think she really believes in what she's saying is the right way, which makes it even scarier, especially coming from someone who's supposed to be an educated professional.
@@farab4391 Yes, she's actively fighting the cognitive dissonance as she speaks. She's aware on some level but continues with her programming in the end. This line of thinking is exactly what I expect out of "educated professionals". The term is as ironic as they come.
Love how it's "go to the gym so you can look better and be more attractive and have higher testosterone" for the son but for the daughter she basically provides no actual actions, just more of a throwing your hands up as if she's helpless and subject to the whims of fate. "Sorry sweetheart, but you're just in the wrong dating pool".
Literally everyone can make themselves look better by eating better and going to the gym regularly. This is ridiculous. She just doesn't want to tell her daughter to do this. I have daughters and I'll be telling them this, but not even for relationship purposes, just general health and wellness reasons. The relationship stuff is just an added bonus.
She also said: get your hair done, get botox, invest in make up and get brasilian butt lift. Do you always cherrypick this heavily?
You also probably don't want your son to consider 'finding a mate' most important goal of his life. Or do you?
Happily together with Mr Nice guy. Respectful, sucessful, family orientated. He happens to go to the gym and keeps healthy and fit.
I love nice guys - those are the only ones I’ve ever stayed in long term relationships with. As soon as a guy was a jerk to me, I was OUT. I hate that saying “nice guys finish last” - they absolutely do NOT finish last. They’re wonderful and every woman should be with men who treat her with love, kindness & respect ❤
Healthy woman alert
If only you were the majority, we'd have a much better Timeline. lmao
She is talking about the "Nice Guy". Not a really kind guy but a weak sneaky guy who uses niceness and simping to get in a girl's pants.
Unless I missed something, it sounds like you didn't stay with them. If they were a jerk to you then they were not nice guys. So leaving that set out, if you didn't stay with them, I would say they certainly didn't finish first. What am I missing?
TF, I'm attracted to nice guys. Don't let yourself be fooled by RUclips, the right type of women know how to appreciate kindness
This topic is annoying because it's not that he's a 'bad boy' that causing the attraction its the fact that he's good looking.
And nice guys will be deemed physically unattractive.
This guy is too agreeable with their guests. You can see he is not totally with her, but wont confront her.
Being elegant, respectful, agreeable, not promiscuous, reserved, supportive, not argumentative, and natural looking, minimal make up, no prior children and in or around the mid twenties.These are all things men are not only attracted to but will make the man stay and possibly wife you up. Do not listen to this woman that is telling you what men seek out in women. Most women are attractive but most do not hold these traits, they are rare and extremely sought after and most of them are absolutely in your control. Men like to be wanted and all they seek is reciprocation in the relationship and they will return that.
Omg, please know that not all women are like this. If she finds you undesirable because you're being genuinely nice to her. Then clearly, she is the problem, they are so used to mean men that their minds can't comprehend. She is the problem, not you! It's annoying to keep hearing this, we are just dividing and not being our true authentic selves due to this toxicity!
The nuance isn't coming out here, and in most explanations of what's going on. There is certainly a subset of women (and men , really) that, due to environmental conditions during their character formation (e.g. not having a father figure), almost go out of their way to find someone that will walk all over them and be $#Itty. This even will happen with lesbian relationships, so I don't think it is even a male/female issue in that sense. Then there are people who are non-confontational "people pleasers", that will bend to avoid confrontation and keeping others happy. I believe this is the subset of guys that are considered the "nice guys" in this scenario. There are more types worth mentioning in length, but to keep it brief, I will get to the point. The so called "not so nice guys" is an unfair breakdown. What women are really attracted to is being strong in beliefs and not backing down even if it is "offensive" (not sure that's the best word for it). Believe it or not, there are guys that are kind and empathetic, but still aren't afraid to stick up for the beliefs and preferences even if it bothers others around them. Respect for others is something you learn early and work toward for the rest of your life. Saying what you believe and being unapologetic about it is the kind of thing I think women are attracted to. There are ways to not be completely rude about it, too. While many will put up with rudeness and crass because they like this trait, there's others out there that still do it in a kind and apologetic manner. Trust me!
GENUINELY nice is your key word there though... Nice Guy / Bad Boy isn't some binary dichotomy that a woman is only on one side of or the other. Obviously a woman that's only into truly toxic men is toxic herself and should be avoided. A kind man that knows how to be reasonably assertive when he needs to be tends to be the sweet spot - a man can be this without being neither a pushover nor a jerk. But the romantic droughts of the former compared to the sexual successes of the latter is where these simplified titles come from.
The term "nice guy" in discussions like these essentially means a simp - a guy being nice to the point of coming across like a pushover. Always agreeable, never takes risks in conversation, puts her on a pedastal, never speaks up for himself, hence [her instincts tell her that] he may likely never be man enough to stand up to others and protect.
It's not that the average woman wants the *toxicity* of a "bad boy" - but the general idea here is that *compared to* the "nice guy", the bad boy shows signs the he's far more likely to stand up for himself, hence likely to be able to protect her and their family whenever the need arises. The "badness" is just a proxy. The problem is that many women let that face value proxy fool them into putting up with more toxicity than it's worth.
Bottom line, genuinely nice isn't a problem...fawning over a girl for merely existing is.
@@JoeHagen-y5x exactly... "Nice guys" are merely the type that don't stand up for themselves. You can be nice without being a pushover the same way you can be strong without being a jerk about it, but it's a reality that some women will choose the jerk over the pushover because they're turned on by how safe it makes them feel. This doesn't mean that most women want to date a jerk.
Because a minority exists, the majority can be ignored is a statistical fallacy.
@@Chrisratata Well, yes and no. The problem in our modern, easy times is that it can take quite a while until a man needs to show a bit of the steel underneath to get through the day. That includes dating situations. It's not that a lot of nice guys CAN'T stand up for themselves. It's just not a way of behaving they usually have to apply to get things done. Quite the contrary. Polite and cooperative gets you the raises in jobs without a career track.
I think the main issue is that we try to evolve our cultural norms towards contradictory goals: individualism makes us revert towards uncultured, hormone-driven creatures that increasingly discard the values and rituals that used to bring us together, while at the same time the demand for cooperative behaviour in the workplace and in most social situations outside of mating increases. Average guys need to become softer to eat, but display themselves as harder to get a chance to mate. Of course that doesn't work out for an increasing number of men, and as a consequence for the women, too.
No one saw Kamala as powerful. Just the opposite.
Exactly what I was thinking!
Kamala was as fake as they come and it cost her the election. How sad lol
So this woman is telling her son the truth but sugar coating the LIE for her daughter
Nah. She just knows that if her daughter meets a Redpillers, she will be looked at with contempt as distrust just because she is a woman. If she changed the pool however to 'nice guys'/beta male - she has chance for a lasting relationship. Man are the one that gatekeep ralationships and make things happen.
And as Redpillers say: her daughter loses value as she ages. That's why it makes no logical sense for her to stick with a crowd that ignores her. She can not 'pick up' a man. If she tried she would be seen as desperate and maybe used for sex.
Or you are a guy who falls in love when woman ask you out, court you, propose to you? Because you are basing your opinion on something ...right?
there are so many other things I highly value in a woman other than just physical attractiveness alone. Her opinions are filled with nothing but generalizations about men
Hence why she said that she would never give her daughter any advice to alter her physical appearance to try to attract men.
The question was 'how to attract a mate' according to research. Can you please explain how are research results suppose to NOT to be generalizations? :)
This woman wants men to work hard and be trophies and good at her side so she wants them to work out and be better. She feeds that to her son.
While simultaneously wanting to be accepted and not have to work for it at all so she tells her daughter to do the same.
Don't feed your bad bias to your children.
Good luck to her daughter with her mom-fed high standards.
Interesting how men are viewed as these one-dimensional creatures who ONLY care about looks. And this is why men should not take advice from the other side. Quite frankly, the waffling of the doctor when it came to whymen working out is baffling. A whyman being fit is far more important than facial beauty. A 7 face with a 9 body will run laps around a 9 face with a 7 body.
They WANT to be able to complain about how narcissistic he is, a year later. Why? Because they can't tell the difference between that confidence they love and arrogance.
I have been saying for somewhere around a decade now when the topic of conversation moves to relationships that women, not all but for most part & to such a degree that it may as well be all of them, are fundamentally incapable of discerning between arrogance & confidence.
From my observations, both turn them on, but for whatever reason arrogance is the more potent of the two.
@@DSDJ1986 or it could be FOMO as they question their own choices
No, because they're born victims who are allergic to accountability.
There is a difference between high testosterone but preferring a serious, committed relationship vs high testosterone but preferring to stay unattached.
Not everyone with high testosterone are arrogant and risk taking. Some are actually very reserved and self disciplined.
If 1000 men are attracted to a woman in a position of power, and they choose to enter her harem, 999 men have just exited the gene pool.
If it was the other way around? Oh wait!
As a man I disagree with the statement that what men look for, are things that women don't have that much control over in min 2:48 . Things like taking care of herself by going to the gym and having a clean diet affect her body and skin making her more attractive. Now what women seek physically, usually are things that men have no control over, for example their height.
Her opinion is hers and thankfully my ears are deaf to her hypocrisy
I have a few bossy co-workers that are women and they haven't exactly put themselves in successful situations. They keep digging holes for themselves by talking about others behind backs, being extremely pushy, trying to manipulate others, lie, and piss everyone off around them.
I like the way she laughs when describing the nice guy
Confidence in a woman is letting your man hold the reins, letting him fight or go to war etc. It is NOT being a warrior-princess yourself. It's about submission, don't be a battleaxe.
Taking a risk, being courageous or bold doesn't have to be toxic. We are all attracted to those things because they show confidence and not necessarily arrogance. Being 'nice' as referenced in the video title often means that you play it too safe for fear of seeming toxic or arrogant. It's easy to spot fear which itself can also be toxic to the person under it's influence because it is holding them back from taking the steps necessary to achieve a goal. There's so much more to this, of course, but if we're nice because we're fearful then I guess step 1 is to take a small risk. Step into the water, perhaps afraid, but step in anyway. Courage isn't the absence of fear, it is stepping forward despite the fear. Courage can also been seen easily and we love to see it exercised too!
Great question! By asking her about her own children, she made it personal. While talking to the girl, she was subconsciously speaking to herself, and it’s hard to say “you’re not enough” to yourself-it’s heartbreaking. As a man, you may need more time to find resources and build discipline to support a family, but that doesn’t mean you’re not enough. You are enough! Stop sharing cold, heartless advice as if it's science.
Absolute numbskull conversation, heard more interesting conversations in the pub after 11pm
As doctor nothing here are some tips on how to make a woman more attractive: stop being standoffish about everything and anything, tell the man that you are interested in that you are interested in them and the things that you like about them, stop demanding men to have money and resources that you are not able to source yourself, stop demanding standards that do not match your current standard or are anywhere near them, go to the gym and work all your muscles, smile to the man you like, have interesting hobbies and conversations, ask from men which of your physical and psychological qualities are attractive and enhance them, date according to your attractiveness rank and interests, learn and display some home and live in general management skills, be responsible with your money.
My advice to a single 35yo woman who is looking to find a partner: go back in time and don’t be such an idiot in your 20s chasing after bad boys.
“If ur a big dude ur less anxious cause u can protect urself” as if men walk around worrying about being beat up.
If you’re never in threatening environments then you’re probably not living
Agreed as a smaller guy I've never been afraid of other guys. Ever
😂
You haven't been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Lucky you.
"as if men walk around worrying about being beat up."
Seriously? I can only assume it must be nice and warm in the basement of your parents house? Try going out to a pub one night...you know, where the working class hang out. In other words the majority of men.
Men don't choose women.
Men choose among the women that have already chosen him.
Good guys are attractive for me personally, because they are safe
Worst interview I have seen on yr podcast. This was just wrong. Very disappointing!
You haven't see the Gad Saad interview I take it.
says the lonely feminist
I think she's wrong about this!
Telling your daughter to “wait” is not good advice. Due to female biology and the aging process women don’t have time to wait.
I am a nice guy with three younger sisters. I married late and am doing well. Now years later many of my sisters friends want me to be "aware of them". I have not changed and the life of long-term values is good. It's creepy to be pitched by women when I am not in the game and not interested.
Testosterone will actually make you more calm. Confidence is someone who doesn’t need to show off in order to come across as confident.
Hamza'll be happy hearing this😊
The answer is simple and lies in the numbers. The success rate of "bad boys" is exactly the same as that of "nice guys", but "bad boys" try more often, and "nice guys" try less often, which gives the mistaken impression that the latter have less success with women, when their chances are the same as any other man. Just try harder and you will have more success. In the end, we are almost all children of "nice guys" who were successful and formed a couple at some point in their lives.
You have women who wants a man they'll marry and have a family with and you have the others. With the others it's a risky adventure and there are a lot of obstacles out there preventing you to meet THE woman you are looking for. Be careful on that track.
Prior to about the 1960s and going all the way back to the beginning of humans, any "nice guy" that wanted a relationship and marriage had one (many with good looking women)...and the marriage normally remained strong until death. Then the sexual revolution came along and replaced love with lust, infatuation, superficialness, and selfishness.
Testosterone is a huge game changer for a man's life, speaking from experience. Being 45 year old now, measured my T levels from 35 year old, it's been low normal levels always, normal for a 90 year old. And looking back my life, it's been always low and I have hardly attracted women into my life. Comparing to my friend, who's levels are high normal and he's taking risks, have he's own comapany and he attracts easily beautiful women in Tinder to go out on a date. I also don't get respect from others and in groups I am always left out from communication and I feel like a 5'th wheel. But even so, I do feel confident enough and feel ok what I do in my life, but it's always safe play. I'm a nice guy, who is picked last. 😄
There are lots of things both sexes can do to attract a mate. Seemed like she didn't want to say it for women. Women have a lot of control over the following: being fit, healthy, and looking after themselves, cultivating divine feminine traits, learning how to manage their emotions, finding activities that they enjoy, learning to be domestic, embracing feminine sensuality, dress classy and feminine, learn about men etc etc etc and none of them involve surgery. Ps she should tell her daughter to get her hair done if she needs it.
Physically and mentally, men and women who work on bettering themselves for personal growth reasons, do find each other attractive in most cases. You are only a 'Nice guy' or even a 'Nice girl' when you havent got the first part nailed, while you act nice to the opposite sex in return for their favours that you think you deserve. Be a good person who genuinely shows up for themself and then for the one(s) he/she cares about. The way you act and how your relationships turn out is a reflection of who you are on the inside, so do not be let down if things don't work out. Don't concern yourself too much with a made-up clique, but be a decent and caring human being, although be ready to wade through a puddle of mud to reach your person. What you are; you will inevitably attract if you put yourself out there.
She is crazy
This woman would do well to watch your previous video where you interviewed the woman about communication behavior, friendships, and relationships. She has a pattern of constantly finishing her sentence with a higher tone as if to ask a question every time she speaks.
Good boys with enough confidence around girls is all I ever wanted, being very shy myself. I detest arrogance, such a turn off.
I think for most mature women over 30, they want you to be an adult who will stand up for your yourself and others and not be a pushover, and to know who you are and what you want in life, because she doesn't want to waste her time with someone who just wants to fuck around. There will always be exceptions though.
I'm 37M and I recognise I really need to work on this. I've recently realised through work that I have a real problem with not speaking up for myself, which can lead to missing out on lots of better outcomes. And it extends into my personal life as well. I lack self confidence and probably need therapy.
Love hearing damaged women talk about why they don’t like nice men😊
Help me out. I've never been a bad boy, and been happily married for 20 years. Am I just an outlier?
Amazing that your brains understand logic so innately that as you get bigger your anxiety lowers
The problem is when too many women are attracted to bad boys at that pivotal period in their early 20s, When in their early 20s men see that, it seems like there is no reason to be a nice/good guy. So women get to their 30s and ask "Where are all the good men?" it is often because they are either married or at that pivotal time in their lives they saw there was reason to be a good guy so they became the jerk.
And then they get with guys who don’t get what they want at all. The nice ones do. But they’re not exciting or dangerous enough for them. 🤷🏻♂️
I've married a 'Nice guy' and after all these years he has become more like another child and not a Partner. He always wants to please anyone and don't understand that's just not posible. I don't see him as a 'nice guy' anymore but as someone who didn't develope a character. He has also no personal goals or ambitions. Maybe some women can look at the whole picture so they avoid them.
What's your definition of goals and ambitions?
@TheFlareMind Learning something New. It doesn't has to be something big, maybe small things like: cooking or a renovation project in our House.
You can never change your partner, you can only change yourself, and I found when you work on yourself you often notice there is nothing wrong with your partner. I hope you read my comment and wish you the best.
Sure, but you'll probably end up cheating on your man with some bloke who doesn't have any goals or ambitions but just drives a big sexy truck and maybe a few other guys with "goals and ambitions" and if you do eventually leave your husband, you will probably find yourself either regretting it, or you will realize that its YOU that doesn't have the goals and ambitions and you'll be wondering why you can't keep a partner or be happy.
You’re not married to just a nice guy.. you’re married to a guy that lacks self respect but happens to also be nice to people
I think you missed a few things when it comes to men, namely about increasing your daughter's attraction. Just say that she could be more feminine, have a sweet voice, be more passive and no combative, more well-groomed, and it will exponentially increase men's attraction to women.
It's not a double standard, it's apples and bananas.
A factor that I see missing in a lot of the comments, when addressing women who love "bad boys", is age. I'm sure it's more about immaturity and inexperience vs many of the other points made.
The sad fact of the matter is men are most interested in women in their 20's. It's all well and good that older women like more mature men but the interest just isn't there anymore.
@@dannyboy1200 Sure. Also a woman can mature in her 20s and realize from dating experience that "bad boys" arent for her. A woman doesnt have to be 40, 50, 60 years old to figure this thing out.
She just pissed me off “study and work hard” that works well for people of a certain ethnic group. You have to do much, much more as a black and brown individual.
Great interview skills and a surprisingly unprepared guest. What did she think you'll be talking about? She seemed surprised by every question and trying to think on the fly.
I think there's a wide range of what it means to be a "nice guy". If he's considered nice because he never attempts to stand up for himself (i.e. he's a doormat), he's not going to be attractive to women. Women want a man who is capable of taking care of himself. Otherwise, how could he take care of her? On the other hand, a man who is kind and considerate to a woman, but also makes it clear he is not going to take any shit from her (or anyone), I think he would do all right in the dating pool.
This narrative excludes factors like mental health, depression, autism.
It's like she's never considered these issues in her entire life - shouldn't an expert already have worked out her opinion? So is her advice to women to get physical enhancements or not? Or she thinks that it is good advice but won't say that because...? Highly confusing.
She’s spot on in a lot of ways. At least she’s being brutally honest. Most women want to be attractive and “most” men want a beautiful women. Thank you
Commenters are reaffirming what she says about the attractiveness of strong, confident women. Step back, she's describing reality in our American culture, not her own biases. She's not saying Everyone conforms to the behaviors she describes, but the majority do. Those who think she's full of shit because they aren't attracted to "bad boys", or what she says for women, are like those people who complain about the tv weather report because the temperature at their house is hotter or cooler that the weatherman says.
People get so confused on this topic. It's not that women are attracted to ass holes, they are attracted to the confidence that a lot of ass holes have. The problem with a lot of nice guys is that they often lack confidence, are insecure and needy, and can come across as lacking masculinity. This is a turn off for women. Also a lot of nice guys are afraid to approach women whereas the bad boy isn't. So the best thing is for a man to be a confident nice guy rather than a confident ass hole. You have to be a nice guy but masculine at the same time. Don't be insecure and needy.
Quite funny how we all know this is indeed true and is an accurate representation of reality, but many react emotionally attacking her, when she’s just the messenger of the fact.
ps: it’s very likely that, if the messenger of the fact was male, the emotional response of people would immensely diminish. quite interesting.
Its pretty logical for women to not pick "nice guys" from this perspective... "id rather be a Warrior in a garden than a Gardener in a war"
The Nice Guy, for the woman is the Gardener in the war (life for a man)
Whereas the warrior in the Garden covers more of the bases that women desire.
A warrior has more dimensions.
The Multifaceted* Man will go further than the nice man only*.
im arrogant
im bright
i avoid situations when i can.
i think of it as
moving between d rain drops.
im moving on to my nxt thing
not stopping over something
that is nothing.
Here's some advice for her daughter: DON'T GET FAT. Maybe try that.
For reall... advice for girls: botox and do hairs and nails... ssssooo bad
I hate botox
The amount of illiterate people offended in the comments section shouldn't surprise anyone at this point.
We all just fancy familiar rather than what is good for us. Guys and Girls.
This was, by far, the worst episode of your show I've watched.
Is there a point in their lives when women grow up and look for positive qualities in a man? It seems so immature and short sighted to seek out a person who burns bridges, ruins other people's lives and is a narcissist. I have known a gorgeous woman who was abused by men like this and she kept going back for more. And, the nice, good looking and put together guy she met, she dismissed.