To be honest there were so many red flags with this guy that I’m mad the show would even match him up with anyone. Paige shouldn’t have had to go through that just for reality tv entertainment.
I’ve been watching this show for several seasons and they don’t seem to vet these ppl fully. These ppl go thru abusive relationships and have no accountability for setting these ppl up. A few of these ppl have really been traumatized or their spirits have been broken. It really needs to be looked into.
There's a series that follows couples after MAFS. On an episode, Paige was a guest. She said she's in therapy now because watching her season made her want to dive into why she was willing to accept Chris' behavior. I wish her nothing but success in her journey.
The interaction with his parents also told me everything I needed to know. His dad was cringey with how often he commented on his new daughter in laws appearance and giving a speech at the reception of these strangers requesting grandkids. The mother was ready to hate and be critical out the gate too. She was sooooo ready to stick up for her funky acting manchild. There were tons of red flags.
I agree, without defending Chris at all, the parents didn't do him any favors. Religion is great if that's your thing but this seems like an example of weaponization of religion as a mask for nonsense. Pastor Dwight tried to save face but his participation in the wedding was gross. As far as the Father I think most of us were completely taken aback by the use of the word "ugly" to describe a woman...just so jarring to speak that way in a public setting of all places. The fact that Chris got it from him doesn't really make it okay but it's pretty evident that's where it came from. Clearly marriage and procreation and the idea of an empire have been shoved down Chris's throat his whole life resulting in multiple engagements and resistance to contraception in a totally irrational way. His complete preoccupation with using "disrespect" as an excuse for his actions is tragic. Anytime he had a chance to show public accountability in the midst of a taped conversation he would turn defensive which is pretty sad to watch. It also really bothered me that even Pastor Cal was victim blaming Paige for having unprotected sex with her new husband after that sideshow of a wedding where everyone in the room was briefed on her reproductive expectations the same day she met her husband. She obviously could have handled things differently but it's pretty hard to blame her when her own religion and everything she knew seemed to be in that room pushing her to be a godly wife.....it's a lot😮
I feel like Paige is used to being in these types of relationships. Her friend alluded to that before the wedding. I know that it takes a while for people to leave abuse. Just seemed so odd that she was attached after such a short period of time. Even during the reunion she was still trying to calm him or support him. Definitely think she needs some help. I did not see a strong person but a confused person.
I binge watched the season this weekend and couldn't believe this young man's emotional cruelty and volatile behavior. Felt as if the show was allowing it for ratings/views at the sake of Ms. Banks. It was disturbing, disgusting, heartbreaking and I wondered if Chris was bipolar, split personality, something. Your analysis is helpful.
She should sue the experts for emotional demage she trusted them to find her a good husband and they brought her one that totally destroyed her .this woman will need time to recover from this if even happens and the next man even if it is the one will have a hard time convincing her of that because this guy just messed up the good vines of marriage
Nah 😭😭 one of them even said he seemed genuine. Like where was she when he said Paige isn't a trophy? Or when he described the girls he usually dates and one of the adjectives he used was "pretty" 😅 implying Paige isn't...I think they wanted to be supportive and believe he was a good guy because the alternative was accepting their friend just married a dirtbag 💔 I wish they had seen the truth 😢
If anyone had an experience with a Narcissistics it would have been easy to identify the pattern of behavior he was displaying. Paige may not have recognized that this is what she was dealing with. Chris used his Christianity, his family Christian background, and that he was the youngest black restaurant franchise owner to hood winkle the experts to get on MAFS. However, in true NPD his character was unmasked when things did not go his way.
This. I dated one. Holy shit the furry in me that he triggered. It didn't last long-term. Since then spotted that shit with ease. Like within days of meeting a dude.
The interesting thing about a Narcissist is, they cannot recognizer themselves in the symptoms of a narcissist. Therefore, they will not seek help especially when the therapist points out their faults or issues,
I try to explain to client's that someone can have narcissistic characteristics but not just a narcissist. I find that sometimes find that labelling someone as a narcissist is an excuse for them not to take accountability for their behaviour as opposed to some one who is unable to demonstrate regard for others. What do others think? Do you think the term narcissist is over used ?
I definitely think it’s overused. Like the words “trigger” and “sociopath”, I feel like these terms are thrown around a lot in social media when we know that a “trigger” is an event/person/place that causes a person who has experienced trauma to relive the event all over again, and a “sociopath” is more accurately referred to as someone with antisocial personality disorder. People can call others “narcissists” simply for being vain, or being self-involved but this doesn’t mean they have the personality disorder.
@@Vashtibucket you are so right! I work with victims of domestic violence and some of their partners have the characteristics or NPD. I start to question : is every person who abuses a narcissist? We forget that each person has their own story and their behaviours maybe a result of survival. Some individuals display low empathy because that was a survival technique or it shows vulnerabilities of that individual. Especially in patriarchal society, which k am seeing with Chris, some of his values may be linked to his perception of being a man.
@@Vashtibucket would argue that "trigger" should be defined a little more broadly as "a thing (event/action/circumstance/etc) that sets off a specific mental health problem", cause it can sometimes be useful to talk about like, an anxiety trigger, a psychosis trigger, a bpd splitting trigger, and so on. As a concept it has a lot of uses outside of the context of trauma/stressor disorders
Narcissist is over used in illicit relationships. Not taking accountability for immoral behavior and blaming the other person when the relationship doesn’t work out.
I have to say this has been very triggering for me because a lot of what you’ve described with this man are things I saw with my father, he has emotionally abused my mother and their abusive relationship has gone on for more than 30 years, it really messed me up to the point where I no longer speak to either of them. The worst thing that a couple like this could do would be to have children. Thank you for your insight!
He was a joke. Your behavior will show who you are. There is no need to brag. I found him cold, not fun, not spiritual, a liar and he's not that attractive. Paige is a beautiful lady, sweet and God fearing. She needs to understand her worth.
Thank you for such an interesting vid!!Excessive admiration - maybe when he and Paige first met & they were talking about their careers/jobs he told her he was “the very first black owner of a particular chain in Atlanta” ? It seems minor but I feel like wording it like that is so extra & wanting to be recognized and admired for his title 🤔🤔
You’d think since the specialists/matchmakers on this show spend sooo much time looking into the potential people for the show that they would see signs of narcissism and maybe not choose a person that could potentially cause such emotional trauma for another contestant on the show.
I called it!! Glad you clarified it. I knew Chris had narcissistic characteristics. I’ve been through a similar situation with my ex, and it wasn’t just easy to leave. Even though the emotional abuse was a lot. We had many times of on & off because I always saw that glimmer of hope plus he is charming. Smh! So, I could empathize with Paige. I had to find my own strength, see who he truly was, and leave for good! No one could make me or “talk sense” into me. I’ve never looked back since! I had to find my own value, as well as know what I deserve!
Good for you!! You're not alone. I went through the same thing and even needed therapy post breakup. Here's to knowing your value and never looking back! 👏
I really like this breakdown especially when you talk about about how common it is for people to go back to their abusive relationships.. it made me think of what Bessel Van Der Kolk said in The Body Keeps the Score how he mentioned that traumatized individuals often go back to their source of trauma due to their compulsion to repeat, in an attempt to take control of their situation and try to do things differently but ultimately ending in the same result .. I feel like that is clearly seen in the description of this emotionally abusive relationship..
This video is done so well. I had a hard time watching their relationship from the beginning and why a show makes these vulnerable people be a situation where it’s nearly mental abuse and not step in at some point. Paige’s journey from the first morning could quiet possibly have an impact on her future views of men and how far she is willing to take that mental anguish and abuse. This relationship was borderline abusive and long term damaging. From what is gathered from all seasons, the contract they sign is that no matter what they have to finish the six weeks according to the wishes of the producers. It’s very disturbing and upsetting for us as viewers. The show makes money but definitely not professional as they claim with all their experts. I find it hard to believe that the experts have any compassion other than their paychecks they earn from the show! I would have so much more respect for the producers if one of the experts steps in and pulls the individual out of that relationship and guides them and coaches them on what is a healthy relationship. But again these shows are built for drama and ratings .
I am also a LPC and this was so heartbreaking to watch. I hope Paige was able to get some help and heal from her hurts and wounds and gain confidence!!
Here's a comment for the algorithm. 👍🏼👍🏼 Thanks for the content. Obsessed with MAFS so it's interesting to see the relationships talked about in this way.
Hey Steph!! I'm going into my first semester of Family Therapy next month. I'm so frikkin excited. Your videos helped a lot when conducting my research on the MFT field. I'll be vlogging my graduate school experience as I did my undergrad experience. I feel like it's super helpful to see people who look like us having their own platform on RUclips in the mental health field. Especially MFT. 🙌🏿 Video suggestion - I'm interested in a video of you breaking down the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a LAMFT. & What is your orientation with it? (Do you like it oppose it) & Maybe how often do you reference it? I know it's super important to be familiar with for our National exam... anyways, thanks a lot for what you do.
Do you know what i love about you, it is that you are not afraid to call it as it is. Sometimes i get so tired of watching another therapist here on RUclips who just keeps being very politically correct and presetning a thousand scenarios why what we are watching in a show could be this or the other. Thanks you for always being direct and truthful
Love the videos! I’m new to the channel and am having a great time catching up on all you’ve posted. You’re doing great things and have a beautiful mind! So grateful for your content. ❤️
I knew he was full of himself when he, as a relatively unattractive man, kept saying Paige was ugly…… despite her being at least average looking. If anything, I’m sure the experts thought they were somewhat equally yoked.
Narcissists have very low self-esteem at their core. That's why he needs a "trophy" wife and all these outside validation to prop him up. That's also why he is so fragile: being unable to stand criticism.
I think Paige is beautiful and when I first saw her, I thought WOW, the man who gets paired up with her will not be disappointed! So to hear him continually talk as is she were homely sounded like an episode of The Twilight Zone to me.
I definitely feel like the experts aren’t held accountable for their part that they play. There have been way too many people who have “fallen” through the cracks on this show.. they really be out here ruining peoples lives and when called out, they seem to shrug and make excuses or half heartedly side with the victim of the abuse. Idk. It makes me not even want to watch it, because I feel like people like Paige are being exploited. It just sucks.
It's true but what's also true is that narcissistic and sociopathic people are con artists. They can change and show you only what you want to see. I have been through my 2 experiences thinking that after my 1st time, I could have recognized one immediately. Instead, she learned what I was looking for and acted on it for at least 2 years then until she got tired and started showing me a whole new person. This abuse lasted more than 10 years. I'm still recovering from PTSD and am so thankful I wasn't killed in the process.
@@christi8488 for sure! I’m so sorry that you had to experience the realities of narcissistic personality disorder. It’s painful and completely unsolicited. I can empathize with your experience! But when professionals, whom are trained in psychopathology, they have an ethical obligation to do no harm. If the “experts” have a real degree, they shouldn’t be putting clients in situations such as this. In real life, and in real circumstances.. it’s almost impossible to spot abuse/narcissistic personality disorder. But for professionals to “miss” them, especially given the environment in which they’re creating (a reality tv show that gives individuals their 15 minutes of fame) you’d think they would be more thorough.
@Kathryn Night you are right but that also makes me feel worst because if professionals couldn't figure out or didn't care it's discouraging and horrifying.😭
@@christi8488 speaking from someone whose studying to be a counselor, I can assure you that there are professionals, including myself that do care. I’d have to google their credentials because it’s very possible that they have a “certificate” in healing.. but don’t hold actual credentials. And if they do, they must not be affiliated with any associations because of the potential of doing said harm. I do believe this “experiment” is flawed for reasons I’ve already stated. Like one of the previous comments stated, it’s all about ratings. So as long as you don’t plan on signing up for tv shows such as this, I’d say you can trust that most professionals care. But I definitely think it’s shitty, what these “professionals” are doing and I actually stopped watching after watching what Paige in this season went through. Somebody who is displaying classic narcissistic tendencies should have IMMEDIATELY been asked to leave. They should have NEVER allowed him to continue.
Really enjoyed this video! After watching the season, I wanted to confirm whether he was a narcissist or not. I would say he wanted admiration when he brought his BM and his wife together, without a seemingly purpose. Seems he just wanted them to fight for him.
All of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder reminds me of the key members/leaders of every "Pro-Black" social clubs that my parents were involved in, when I was a child. As a kid, I had observed and knew something was wrong with those folks.
I love your content! Do you plan on going over any of the other Married at First Sight couples either current or past? I've only seen the one season with Amber and Matt (the basketball guy). That felt like I was looking at a car crash, sadly.
Thank you! Yes, I plan to do more. Yeah, that couple was one of the most painful to watch. Honestly Beth & Jamie were worse though in my opinion and they’re still together lol
@@StephAnya It's a big deal in the UK...or at least in my circle. All generations are using it as a talking point to discuss relationship management, emotional intelligence and couples' counselling...all the things we should have learned in school (I believe). ruclips.net/video/wjZ_DAQDDYg/видео.html
I don't know if you'll see this comment two years later, but I really felt like every time Chris went back to Paige, it was only to get back with her long enough to dump her right after so he wasn't the one that was rejected.
I really like how you understood Paige's situation, I think that she does have low self esteem and that Chris knew that, so that's why he kept bringing her down by mentioning her appearance, even though she is beautiful. I would like another video about Paige in this relationship and what you would diagnose her with
I think Paige has the same problem that millions of other Black women have: She believes she can change Chris’ behavior and feelings towards her with her words and actions. That is SO UNTRUE! Neither will a woman’s submissiveness change a man’s behavior. The only thing that will motivate him to change is her leaving and separating from him. Then he will realize what he lost and may try to return to her. But then she must refuse to take him back until he meets her expectations. What hurts most Black women is that they are too desperate for a Black man. They would do better by opening their dating and marriage options to men of other races and ethnicities.
Everytime it cut back to their wedding I was screaming "Nooo Paige! Why are you still here?? Girl run 😭" I wanted so badly for her disappear from the reception.
@stephanya Just finished this season of MAFS and came across your video when looking into what became of Paige. Your analysis seems spot on. Question: Can someone who is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder be treated? Can they recover from/heal from/manage this disorder?
I feel like half of the symptoms you talked to can be identified with my husband. Definitely about the one about when something isn’t agreeable with him or have a different opinion, he gets enraged.
I was with someone just like Chris, even that lip thing Chris does when they’re nervous my ex use to do. I would fall for his words and overlook his actions. I would bring up his wrongs and he would gas light me into thinking I’m tripping. He would even call ppl to validate him and they would agree so it made the gas lighting even worse!!! It’s draining but once you make it out, you gradually find yourself again ❤
I had a hard time figuring out if he had NPD or Avoidant Attachment Style. He definitely has traits of both. But his mixed messages to her were the most heartbreaking and had me feeling bad for her. Wish the experts had intervened sooner or screened him out.
Thank you so much for the opportunity to voice about Christ and paige he's so selfish to hurt her like that and she let him walk all over her it's not easy to see a intelligent women ,great ,educated I have 3 daughters that are sadly to watch
Why did the experts pick him to be on this show? It's clear to me that he wasn't a proper candidate. Why couldn't the experts see that? I have to question the expertise of the psychologists.
My friend/ co worker is involved with a narcissist. I'm really interested in and curious about human behavior. So Although it's interesting to watch, it's also very frustrating. I'm also curious in what makes a person continue a relationship with narcissist. They are extremely emotionally abusive.
I feel so bad for Paige having to deal with this guy. He would do so much damage to a kind person's self esteem and sense of reality. That relationship was painful to watch. I hope Paige has met someone really great since the show. I really hope producers didn't set this up, knowing what a disaster it would be. These shows should be forced to follow a strict code of ethics.
Hey Stephanie I am thinking about going to school to be a Certified Life Coach and I was Wondering Maybe you can do a video About Becoming a Life Coach
I think I grew disinterested in MAFS after season 9 or 10. To me, it feels like the show has increasingly veered away from being Part Experiment/Part Entertainment and just became COMPLETE exploitative entertainment. It seems like with every season everything becomes more dramatized, more sensationalized, and it brings me to wonder if the intentions of the show are nearly as pure as they say they are. I just fail to see how a television program can have such a "long and extensive" vetting and interview process but still end up casting people like Chris and others who have been very disrespectful to their spouse and/or the program staff. It just became increasingly hard to watch, and what's funny is despite me not even watching the show anymore I still know all about this Chris character because of just how awful he acted on the show. I remember watching other seasons and I would think to myself: "Wow I really hope this entire show is staged". Because I would hate to know how it feels to have this type of pain and trauma not just happen to you, but have it be publicized like this. Of course, because there are some couples that are still going strong after all this time, I have no choice but to believe that what we're seeing is at the very least partially real. I think in recent years the phrase 'Narcissist' has definitely been thrown around carelessly; it seems like people use it for anybody who just acts like a jerk. But for Chris, I'd be very surprised if he actually isn't a bonified Narcissist.
Chris' lack of empathy is one thing (I found him absolutely disgusting from moment ONE). He started devaluing her from the moment he met her. And he cannot have a conversation unless it's someone agreeing with him. He drops ANYONE who isn't toting his narrative. He is 100% an insecure man-child. The part I don't see talked about is the effect that religion can have on keeping people stuck in damaging relationships that don't serve their best interest. She would have been gone much sooner if marriage and serving God weren't so engrained in her. And then him saying "I'm falling in love with you spiritually." She was stuck in the cycle because she believed she was following a bigger purpose. I can relate to that as it is a lot of the reason that I got married as well. Disregarding my intuition in lieu of being led by God. Spirituality is one thing, but RELIGION is another. The constructs that exist there are not what's best for women when they're in an abusive cycle.
I'm surprised that people were not also outraged by how Chris's dad was telling Paige during their wedding reception what her wifely duties should be to his son regarding how many times she should be giving him se* x. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Chris shows narcissistic tendencies. Dr. Viviana Coles who is a Psychotherapist on the show also referred to Chris as a narcissist.
Seems like a narcissist doesn’t want to be with their partner - they just want to own the other person. They don’t want you, but they don’t want anyone else to be with you either because you belong to them. You need to be available when they want you but go back on the shelf when they don’t.
I mean, every time the others wouldn’t really give him enough attention, would turn to other topics or ask Paige how she was holding up, he would immediately shut down or go off and cry in a corner. I feel like he expected people to show admiration for him, respect for him, without him having to do anything to get it. The producers or the girls he was with had to basically twist his arm just to get him to open up or apologize and he took that as stepping up and being a man when he did so. Anyone who thought differently, he’d get very defensive with
Why was he on the show!????? MAFS match people for ratings and drama....it's gotten worse and worse with the selection of emotionally abusive exploitive people to match then force couples to make it work
I wish Paige could sue them for wasting her time with Chris. He was unbearable the entire show. The “experts” need to be held accountable for this mess.
To be honest there were so many red flags with this guy that I’m mad the show would even match him up with anyone. Paige shouldn’t have had to go through that just for reality tv entertainment.
I completely agree
Exactly
I’ve been watching this show for several seasons and they don’t seem to vet these ppl fully. These ppl go thru abusive relationships and have no accountability for setting these ppl up. A few of these ppl have really been traumatized or their spirits have been broken. It really needs to be looked into.
"to be honest" triggered me cus Chris said that so many times before he said some bullshit 😂😂
@@macmorgster hahaha I’m sorry!
There's a series that follows couples after MAFS. On an episode, Paige was a guest. She said she's in therapy now because watching her season made her want to dive into why she was willing to accept Chris' behavior. I wish her nothing but success in her journey.
What is that show?
She is now with a man that looks like he is good for her and expecting her first baby❤
The interaction with his parents also told me everything I needed to know. His dad was cringey with how often he commented on his new daughter in laws appearance and giving a speech at the reception of these strangers requesting grandkids. The mother was ready to hate and be critical out the gate too. She was sooooo ready to stick up for her funky acting manchild. There were tons of red flags.
I agree, without defending Chris at all, the parents didn't do him any favors. Religion is great if that's your thing but this seems like an example of weaponization of religion as a mask for nonsense. Pastor Dwight tried to save face but his participation in the wedding was gross. As far as the Father I think most of us were completely taken aback by the use of the word "ugly" to describe a woman...just so jarring to speak that way in a public setting of all places. The fact that Chris got it from him doesn't really make it okay but it's pretty evident that's where it came from. Clearly marriage and procreation and the idea of an empire have been shoved down Chris's throat his whole life resulting in multiple engagements and resistance to contraception in a totally irrational way. His complete preoccupation with using "disrespect" as an excuse for his actions is tragic. Anytime he had a chance to show public accountability in the midst of a taped conversation he would turn defensive which is pretty sad to watch. It also really bothered me that even Pastor Cal was victim blaming Paige for having unprotected sex with her new husband after that sideshow of a wedding where everyone in the room was briefed on her reproductive expectations the same day she met her husband. She obviously could have handled things differently but it's pretty hard to blame her when her own religion and everything she knew seemed to be in that room pushing her to be a godly wife.....it's a lot😮
@@AustinLEN STD🚩
most narcissists come from narcissistic parents. tends to run in families. the “experts” really goofed on his background checks.
I feel like Paige is used to being in these types of relationships. Her friend alluded to that before the wedding. I know that it takes a while for people to leave abuse. Just seemed so odd that she was attached after such a short period of time. Even during the reunion she was still trying to calm him or support him. Definitely think she needs some help. I did not see a strong person but a confused person.
Paige made herself attached. There was no organic reason to be attached.
That was sex. She had an emotional attachment from the sex and constant mix signals she had false hope.
I would like a separate video to further dicuss the cycle of emotional abuse!
Got it!
Another red flag wAs Chris’ father commenting on Paiges body, at The wedding. I threw up in my mouth.
Yup and his mom was a clear enabler...and seemed to participate in gaslighting Paige about her son's behavior in my opinion
Isn't he a pastor? Yuck
@@aviatrix7774 it tracks, religious leaders are rarely good people
@@f.d.5173 exactly
I definitely chuckled through this! LOL I'm amazed that they let him slip through the cracks. Time to change up the screening process!
Agreed! They’ve had some slip ups in pst seasons, but this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Chris posted that Paige asked him to come back to the show to get paid…
I binge watched the season this weekend and couldn't believe this young man's emotional cruelty and volatile behavior. Felt as if the show was allowing it for ratings/views at the sake of Ms. Banks. It was disturbing, disgusting, heartbreaking and I wondered if Chris was bipolar, split personality, something. Your analysis is helpful.
She should sue the experts for emotional demage she trusted them to find her a good husband and they brought her one that totally destroyed her .this woman will need time to recover from this if even happens and the next man even if it is the one will have a hard time convincing her of that because this guy just messed up the good vines of marriage
Yep. She should sue them.
narcissistic personality disorder. he is 100% the textbook definition of that.
How dare he talk like that about Paige to HER friends!? The audacity. I hope her friends relayed the message: he showed who he was, believe him.
Nah 😭😭 one of them even said he seemed genuine. Like where was she when he said Paige isn't a trophy? Or when he described the girls he usually dates and one of the adjectives he used was "pretty" 😅 implying Paige isn't...I think they wanted to be supportive and believe he was a good guy because the alternative was accepting their friend just married a dirtbag 💔 I wish they had seen the truth 😢
i had a guy do that to me and it still haunts me
This pissed me off at a level I cannot describe. If I was her friend he would have tasted my fist.
If anyone had an experience with a Narcissistics it would have been easy to identify the pattern of behavior he was displaying. Paige may not have recognized that this is what she was dealing with.
Chris used his Christianity, his family Christian background, and that he was the youngest black restaurant franchise owner to hood winkle the experts to get on MAFS. However, in true NPD his character was unmasked when things did not go his way.
She appeared to have her own struggles which makes her susceptible to these type of people. Hopefully through therapy she can grow and heal.
This. I dated one. Holy shit the furry in me that he triggered. It didn't last long-term. Since then spotted that shit with ease. Like within days of meeting a dude.
The interesting thing about a Narcissist is, they cannot recognizer themselves in the symptoms of a narcissist. Therefore, they will not seek help especially when the therapist points out their faults or issues,
Pleaseeeee get a tv show or something so i can watch these in half-hour stretches! Your content is so informative and good!!!
Aww thank you!
I try to explain to client's that someone can have narcissistic characteristics but not just a narcissist. I find that sometimes find that labelling someone as a narcissist is an excuse for them not to take accountability for their behaviour as opposed to some one who is unable to demonstrate regard for others. What do others think? Do you think the term narcissist is over used ?
Completely agree.
I definitely think it’s overused. Like the words “trigger” and “sociopath”, I feel like these terms are thrown around a lot in social media when we know that a “trigger” is an event/person/place that causes a person who has experienced trauma to relive the event all over again, and a “sociopath” is more accurately referred to as someone with antisocial personality disorder. People can call others “narcissists” simply for being vain, or being self-involved but this doesn’t mean they have the personality disorder.
@@Vashtibucket you are so right! I work with victims of domestic violence and some of their partners have the characteristics or NPD. I start to question : is every person who abuses a narcissist? We forget that each person has their own story and their behaviours maybe a result of survival.
Some individuals display low empathy because that was a survival technique or it shows vulnerabilities of that individual. Especially in patriarchal society, which k am seeing with Chris, some of his values may be linked to his perception of being a man.
@@Vashtibucket would argue that "trigger" should be defined a little more broadly as "a thing (event/action/circumstance/etc) that sets off a specific mental health problem", cause it can sometimes be useful to talk about like, an anxiety trigger, a psychosis trigger, a bpd splitting trigger, and so on. As a concept it has a lot of uses outside of the context of trauma/stressor disorders
Narcissist is over used in illicit relationships. Not taking accountability for immoral behavior and blaming the other person when the relationship doesn’t work out.
I have to say this has been very triggering for me because a lot of what you’ve described with this man are things I saw with my father, he has emotionally abused my mother and their abusive relationship has gone on for more than 30 years, it really messed me up to the point where I no longer speak to either of them. The worst thing that a couple like this could do would be to have children. Thank you for your insight!
I completely get this. My dad and stepfather are emotionally abusive as well.
I kind of hope Paige sees this
I would be really interested in a video on the cycle of abuse
Me too!
Highlighting the many different types of abuse I think would be wonderful. People struggle with anything besides physical abuse.
He was a joke. Your behavior will show who you are. There is no need to brag. I found him cold, not fun, not spiritual, a liar and he's not that attractive. Paige is a beautiful lady, sweet and God fearing. She needs to understand her worth.
Thank you for such an interesting vid!!Excessive admiration - maybe when he and Paige first met & they were talking about their careers/jobs he told her he was “the very first black owner of a particular chain in Atlanta” ? It seems minor but I feel like wording it like that is so extra & wanting to be recognized and admired for his title 🤔🤔
Oh yeah! I can definitely see how that would apply.
You’d think since the specialists/matchmakers on this show spend sooo much time looking into the potential people for the show that they would see signs of narcissism and maybe not choose a person that could potentially cause such emotional trauma for another contestant on the show.
I called it!! Glad you clarified it. I knew Chris had narcissistic characteristics. I’ve been through a similar situation with my ex, and it wasn’t just easy to leave. Even though the emotional abuse was a lot. We had many times of on & off because I always saw that glimmer of hope plus he is charming. Smh! So, I could empathize with Paige. I had to find my own strength, see who he truly was, and leave for good! No one could make me or “talk sense” into me. I’ve never looked back since! I had to find my own value, as well as know what I deserve!
Good for you!! You're not alone. I went through the same thing and even needed therapy post breakup.
Here's to knowing your value and never looking back! 👏
Ever!
@@rmy_RUclips Same! I took therapy as well. It’s been a beautiful journey of self discovery and healing. Cheers🥂 All the BEST to you!! ❤️
Yes and looking back it starts to eat you up doesn’t it ? You ask yourself why you tolerated such non sense, you start to feel foolish
I really like this breakdown especially when you talk about about how common it is for people to go back to their abusive relationships.. it made me think of what Bessel Van Der Kolk said in The Body Keeps the Score how he mentioned that traumatized individuals often go back to their source of trauma due to their compulsion to repeat, in an attempt to take control of their situation and try to do things differently but ultimately ending in the same result .. I feel like that is clearly seen in the description of this emotionally abusive relationship..
This video is done so well. I had a hard time watching their relationship from the beginning and why a show makes these vulnerable people be a situation where it’s nearly mental abuse and not step in at some point. Paige’s journey from the first morning could quiet possibly have an impact on her future views of men and how far she is willing to take that mental anguish and abuse. This relationship was borderline abusive and long term damaging. From what is gathered from all seasons, the contract they sign is that no matter what they have to finish the six weeks according to the wishes of the producers. It’s very disturbing and upsetting for us as viewers. The show makes money but definitely not professional as they claim with all their experts. I find it hard to believe that the experts have any compassion other than their paychecks they earn from the show!
I would have so much more respect for the producers if one of the experts steps in and pulls the individual out of that relationship and guides them and coaches them on what is a healthy relationship. But again these shows are built for drama and ratings .
I’m glad you are looking at this show because there’s a lot to unpack each year
I am also a LPC and this was so heartbreaking to watch. I hope Paige was able to get some help and heal from her hurts and wounds and gain confidence!!
Here's a comment for the algorithm. 👍🏼👍🏼 Thanks for the content. Obsessed with MAFS so it's interesting to see the relationships talked about in this way.
Hey Steph!! I'm going into my first semester of Family Therapy next month. I'm so frikkin excited. Your videos helped a lot when conducting my research on the MFT field. I'll be vlogging my graduate school experience as I did my undergrad experience. I feel like it's super helpful to see people who look like us having their own platform on RUclips in the mental health field. Especially MFT. 🙌🏿
Video suggestion - I'm interested in a video of you breaking down the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a LAMFT. & What is your orientation with it? (Do you like it oppose it) & Maybe how often do you reference it? I know it's super important to be familiar with for our National exam... anyways, thanks a lot for what you do.
Do you know what i love about you, it is that you are not afraid to call it as it is. Sometimes i get so tired of watching another therapist here on RUclips who just keeps being very politically correct and presetning a thousand scenarios why what we are watching in a show could be this or the other. Thanks you for always being direct and truthful
Giiiiirrrrrrlllllll!!! I'm TOO ready for your take on this couple!! Had to comment before watching.
Dr. Pepper is a Dr. in this area and she called him narcissistic several times.
Yes, she has said it! She is actually a sociologist.
To bad she didn't clock that BEFORE ruining Paige's life.
Then why did they match him with Paige?
I love watching MAFS as well! I have always wanted to see someone analyze this show and this couple so I am glad did it!! I love watching your videos!
Love the videos! I’m new to the channel and am having a great time catching up on all you’ve posted. You’re doing great things and have a beautiful mind! So grateful for your content. ❤️
Thank you for that sweet compliment ♥️ And thank you for watching!
I knew he was full of himself when he, as a relatively unattractive man, kept saying Paige was ugly…… despite her being at least average looking. If anything, I’m sure the experts thought they were somewhat equally yoked.
Narcissists have very low self-esteem at their core. That's why he needs a "trophy" wife and all these outside validation to prop him up. That's also why he is so fragile: being unable to stand criticism.
I think Paige is beautiful and when I first saw her, I thought WOW, the man who gets paired up with her will not be disappointed! So to hear him continually talk as is she were homely sounded like an episode of The Twilight Zone to me.
Chris will forever be the poster boy for narcissism, and whom therapist and instructors use to illustrate the disorder.
I definitely feel like the experts aren’t held accountable for their part that they play. There have been way too many people who have “fallen” through the cracks on this show.. they really be out here ruining peoples lives and when called out, they seem to shrug and make excuses or half heartedly side with the victim of the abuse. Idk. It makes me not even want to watch it, because I feel like people like Paige are being exploited. It just sucks.
Yeah…. It’s about the drama and ratings for the producers. Some of the participants wanna ride it out bc they do get paid🤷🏽♀️
It's true but what's also true is that narcissistic and sociopathic people are con artists. They can change and show you only what you want to see. I have been through my 2 experiences thinking that after my 1st time, I could have recognized one immediately. Instead, she learned what I was looking for and acted on it for at least 2 years then until she got tired and started showing me a whole new person. This abuse lasted more than 10 years. I'm still recovering from PTSD and am so thankful I wasn't killed in the process.
@@christi8488 for sure! I’m so sorry that you had to experience the realities of narcissistic personality disorder. It’s painful and completely unsolicited. I can empathize with your experience! But when professionals, whom are trained in psychopathology, they have an ethical obligation to do no harm. If the “experts” have a real degree, they shouldn’t be putting clients in situations such as this. In real life, and in real circumstances.. it’s almost impossible to spot abuse/narcissistic personality disorder. But for professionals to “miss” them, especially given the environment in which they’re creating (a reality tv show that gives individuals their 15 minutes of fame) you’d think they would be more thorough.
@Kathryn Night you are right but that also makes me feel worst because if professionals couldn't figure out or didn't care it's discouraging and horrifying.😭
@@christi8488 speaking from someone whose studying to be a counselor, I can assure you that there are professionals, including myself that do care. I’d have to google their credentials because it’s very possible that they have a “certificate” in healing.. but don’t hold actual credentials. And if they do, they must not be affiliated with any associations because of the potential of doing said harm. I do believe this “experiment” is flawed for reasons I’ve already stated. Like one of the previous comments stated, it’s all about ratings. So as long as you don’t plan on signing up for tv shows such as this, I’d say you can trust that most professionals care. But I definitely think it’s shitty, what these “professionals” are doing and I actually stopped watching after watching what Paige in this season went through. Somebody who is displaying classic narcissistic tendencies should have IMMEDIATELY been asked to leave. They should have NEVER allowed him to continue.
I'm so happy to found you..I loved you on the vanity fair page. So glad to found you in here.
So glad to have you here ♥️
Really enjoyed this video! After watching the season, I wanted to confirm whether he was a narcissist or not. I would say he wanted admiration when he brought his BM and his wife together, without a seemingly purpose. Seems he just wanted them to fight for him.
Been waiting for this one 💜💜💜
All of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder reminds me of the key members/leaders of every "Pro-Black" social clubs that my parents were involved in, when I was a child. As a kid, I had observed and knew something was wrong with those folks.
I watched your videos on GQ and I really enjoyed what you had to say! Definitely going to subscribe!
I love your content! Do you plan on going over any of the other Married at First Sight couples either current or past? I've only seen the one season with Amber and Matt (the basketball guy). That felt like I was looking at a car crash, sadly.
Thank you! Yes, I plan to do more. Yeah, that couple was one of the most painful to watch. Honestly Beth & Jamie were worse though in my opinion and they’re still together lol
@@StephAnya How did I forget about them? Yikes!
@@StephAnya yes please do more couples and more seasons. This videos are my favorite!!!
His parents know how bad he is. The dad warned him not to hurt page they knew what he was all about.
You should talk about Blue Therapy too! Would love to know your thoughts on Paul and Deborah
I was literally just thinking this! Thank you for suggesting :)
Blue therapy is goooood
@@SlayPositive_ I'm a little embarrassed by how obsessed I am with the show. The finale is tomorrow! EEEEEEK!
I’ve literally never heard of it! Searching now. Thank you!
@@StephAnya It's a big deal in the UK...or at least in my circle. All generations are using it as a talking point to discuss relationship management, emotional intelligence and couples' counselling...all the things we should have learned in school (I believe). ruclips.net/video/wjZ_DAQDDYg/видео.html
It really worked my nerves when he would start mumbling when things got rough or out of his control and she would lean in. Say it with your chest man!
I don't know if you'll see this comment two years later, but I really felt like every time Chris went back to Paige, it was only to get back with her long enough to dump her right after so he wasn't the one that was rejected.
Thank you! I love watching you! I love hearing you say your name too!!!
Chris seemed sketchy right from the start.
First interview
Please do the video on cycle of abuse...I know several people who are dealing with this including myself.
I've just gotten into this show starting with season 12 and would LOVE more episodes on this show
Yesss I was looking forward to this!!!
A huge red flag is looking at your phone whenever someone Else is talking 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I really like how you understood Paige's situation, I think that she does have low self esteem and that Chris knew that, so that's why he kept bringing her down by mentioning her appearance, even though she is beautiful. I would like another video about Paige in this relationship and what you would diagnose her with
I think Paige has the same problem that millions of other Black women have: She believes she can change Chris’ behavior and feelings towards her with her words and actions. That is SO UNTRUE! Neither will a woman’s submissiveness change a man’s behavior. The only thing that will motivate him to change is her leaving and separating from him. Then he will realize what he lost and may try to return to her. But then she must refuse to take him back until he meets her expectations. What hurts most Black women is that they are too desperate for a Black man. They would do better by opening their dating and marriage options to men of other races and ethnicities.
My sentiments exactly 👏🏾
I LOVE your videos! I would appreciate it if you did a “for aspiring therapists” video analyzing Couple’s Therapy on Showtime!
Your girl is early ! Thanks Stephanie
Hiii 👋🏽👋🏽
This man is everything You want to RUN away from. The first red flag wAs him asking her at The wedding, which contraceptive she wAs using.
Everytime it cut back to their wedding I was screaming "Nooo Paige! Why are you still here?? Girl run 😭" I wanted so badly for her disappear from the reception.
I love your hairstyle in this video. Can you please share the deets? Thank you!
@stephanya Just finished this season of MAFS and came across your video when looking into what became of Paige. Your analysis seems spot on. Question: Can someone who is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder be treated? Can they recover from/heal from/manage this disorder?
I just realized I recognize you from the GQ video!!
Yep!! Hi 👋🏽👋🏽
Good analysis!
I feel like half of the symptoms you talked to can be identified with my husband. Definitely about the one about when something isn’t agreeable with him or have a different opinion, he gets enraged.
very good analysis
I was with someone just like Chris, even that lip thing Chris does when they’re nervous my ex use to do. I would fall for his words and overlook his actions. I would bring up his wrongs and he would gas light me into thinking I’m tripping. He would even call ppl to validate him and they would agree so it made the gas lighting even worse!!! It’s draining but once you make it out, you gradually find yourself again ❤
I had a hard time figuring out if he had NPD or Avoidant Attachment Style. He definitely has traits of both. But his mixed messages to her were the most heartbreaking and had me feeling bad for her. Wish the experts had intervened sooner or screened him out.
Please do the separate video!!!
Thank you so much for the opportunity to voice about Christ and paige he's so selfish to hurt her like that and she let him walk all over her it's not easy to see a intelligent women ,great ,educated I have 3 daughters that are sadly to watch
This is brilliant!!
Please do a video on the cycles of narcissists relationships!
Why did the experts pick him to be on this show? It's clear to me that he wasn't a proper candidate. Why couldn't the experts see that? I have to question the expertise of the psychologists.
Not the expertise but the intentions. They matched him for ratings
My friend/ co worker is involved with a narcissist. I'm really interested in and curious about human behavior. So Although it's interesting to watch, it's also very frustrating. I'm also curious in what makes a person continue a relationship with narcissist. They are extremely emotionally abusive.
I feel so bad for Paige having to deal with this guy. He would do so much damage to a kind person's self esteem and sense of reality. That relationship was painful to watch. I hope Paige has met someone really great since the show. I really hope producers didn't set this up, knowing what a disaster it would be. These shows should be forced to follow a strict code of ethics.
7:35 I woulda took my friend by the hand and said NO. were leaving and you can do better
Chris would also whisper or unmic - he controlled the narrative…or, tried to.
Hey Stephanie I am thinking about going to school to be a Certified Life Coach and I was Wondering Maybe you can do a video About Becoming a Life Coach
I think I grew disinterested in MAFS after season 9 or 10. To me, it feels like the show has increasingly veered away from being Part Experiment/Part Entertainment and just became COMPLETE exploitative entertainment. It seems like with every season everything becomes more dramatized, more sensationalized, and it brings me to wonder if the intentions of the show are nearly as pure as they say they are. I just fail to see how a television program can have such a "long and extensive" vetting and interview process but still end up casting people like Chris and others who have been very disrespectful to their spouse and/or the program staff. It just became increasingly hard to watch, and what's funny is despite me not even watching the show anymore I still know all about this Chris character because of just how awful he acted on the show. I remember watching other seasons and I would think to myself: "Wow I really hope this entire show is staged". Because I would hate to know how it feels to have this type of pain and trauma not just happen to you, but have it be publicized like this. Of course, because there are some couples that are still going strong after all this time, I have no choice but to believe that what we're seeing is at the very least partially real. I think in recent years the phrase 'Narcissist' has definitely been thrown around carelessly; it seems like people use it for anybody who just acts like a jerk. But for Chris, I'd be very surprised if he actually isn't a bonified Narcissist.
Yeah, Chris weaponizes apologizes
Chris' lack of empathy is one thing (I found him absolutely disgusting from moment ONE). He started devaluing her from the moment he met her. And he cannot have a conversation unless it's someone agreeing with him. He drops ANYONE who isn't toting his narrative. He is 100% an insecure man-child.
The part I don't see talked about is the effect that religion can have on keeping people stuck in damaging relationships that don't serve their best interest. She would have been gone much sooner if marriage and serving God weren't so engrained in her. And then him saying "I'm falling in love with you spiritually." She was stuck in the cycle because she believed she was following a bigger purpose. I can relate to that as it is a lot of the reason that I got married as well. Disregarding my intuition in lieu of being led by God. Spirituality is one thing, but RELIGION is another. The constructs that exist there are not what's best for women when they're in an abusive cycle.
I'm surprised that people were not also outraged by how Chris's dad was telling Paige during their wedding reception what her wifely duties should be to his son regarding how many times she should be giving him se* x. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Chris shows narcissistic tendencies. Dr. Viviana Coles who is a Psychotherapist on the show also referred to Chris as a narcissist.
something about a guy saying "I'm charismatic" in the most monotone voice is hilarious
I dont know what the show is about, but the name itself makes me flip out internally. Literally my worst nightmare.
Can you do one on Clara Ryan? They did an interview and now are getting divorcy.
Please do Olajuwon and Katina from this season.
Seems like a narcissist doesn’t want to be with their partner - they just want to own the other person. They don’t want you, but they don’t want anyone else to be with you either because you belong to them. You need to be available when they want you but go back on the shelf when they don’t.
I mean, every time the others wouldn’t really give him enough attention, would turn to other topics or ask Paige how she was holding up, he would immediately shut down or go off and cry in a corner. I feel like he expected people to show admiration for him, respect for him, without him having to do anything to get it. The producers or the girls he was with had to basically twist his arm just to get him to open up or apologize and he took that as stepping up and being a man when he did so. Anyone who thought differently, he’d get very defensive with
Why was he on the show!????? MAFS match people for ratings and drama....it's gotten worse and worse with the selection of emotionally abusive exploitive people to match then force couples to make it work
The sound of his voice drove me crazy alone but the way he treated her was trash 😤
The anger in me and inly seven minutes in.
Was there ever a video made on the cycle of abuse?
Thank goodness Chris did not become a pastor!
So want to see a video on emotional abuse!!!
Please do a vid on cycle of abuse!
I feel like I've seen you in something else. I know I've seen your beautiful hair before. Was it like the Insider YT channel or Variety maybe?
She was on GQ’s Breakdown twice!
@@noeller6217 that's it!! Thanks!!
Chris is blind too. He thinks Paige is an oog. I think she's pretty!
What about Haley and Jacob? I wonder if she doesn't have a type of narcissism. Will you assess that couple?
7:58 THAT FAAACCCEEEE 😂😂😂😂😂
be was probably tired of his shit
He says she is unattractive as a way to put the blame on her. Smh
I wish Paige could sue them for wasting her time with Chris. He was unbearable the entire show. The “experts” need to be held accountable for this mess.
I wonder what Paige is up to now?!
Buying the Benz also made little sense bc kids don’t care about that. It was all about his ego
I watched the show & couldn’t stand Chris 🙄 he’s a narcissist & a hateful person
Can y’all imagine him as a pastor!???