The Danger of Avoidance | Therapist Breaks Down Steven & Sabrina from Love Is Blind UK
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
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I feel like the show kind sets couples up to fail especially the women. Sabrina did an interview and said all the women applied to the show while most of the men were approached with the opportunity. The result is that women apply because they are marriage minded while the men enter the show just for a fun experience.
Also why doesn't the show give them couples counseling?
I would love to see Dr. Anya or Dr. Honda on this show
If the show gave counseling, nobody would get married.
@@regularity2556lmaooo
@@regularity2556 the couples who are serious about marriage would make it like Brett and Tiffany!
that’s true then comments about doing it for fame is like a set up question Lol
Sabrina said in an interview that it was never about the money. She didn’t care, it was more about his lack of consideration for her on anything. When she came to London there was a walk from the station to the house, he never once came to the station to meet her. Not once. Or even help her with her things. Sad 😢
Oh wow!
But SHE mentioned money on the reunion, SHE said SHE SPENT £70 on him. It seemed like money was important.
@@ellie9248 It looks like she brought that up as one of the many things that she contributed and she felt that he fell short in his contribution or effort.
@@ellie9248 she went on natlies and depti's podcast and she addressed this. That part was purposefully taken out of context. Their whole segment part was 30 min at the reunion. thats why theres no context to that part in particular. What she was doing was giving examples of how much she was contrubing to trying to make it work because steven was saying she was lying.
@@ellie9248 I think it was about effort. She went out of her way to make sure he was comfortable.
what the show proves to me is that whether love is blind or not, whether you meet a person in or out of the show you still have lots of work to do to make the relationship work. Relationships are lots of work and love is not enough
Sabrina mentioned they had numerous discussions about where to live and because she owned her own place she could not just give it up right away, and he also had a roommate and no room for her to move into his place. Until they figured out a solution, they had agreed to go back-and-forth. Steven did not make the effort to visit her very often and when she visited him, he seemed a bit disengaged. Also, with respect to Christmas, he canceled at the last minute, and then she found out that despite his money issues he was hanging out with friends. it seems like during the show they were living in their own little fantasy and when they got home and had to deal with reality, the fantasy ended and so did the infatuation. It’s unfortunate because they really did seem like a great couple.
He sounds broke tbh, not ready for marriage
@@awrebyawe I was thinking it sounds like he had financial problems and probably taking a couple months off during and after filming he was in financial problems
About a year into my relationship with my husband, we weren’t seeing much of each other. He lived far away and didn’t like spending the time and gas money, and I had no car. Eventually, in possible my most mature moment of my 20s, I told him “look, I love you and I want to be with you. But, when I just don’t see someone over long periods of time I start to feel distant, and honestly I don’t know if this can work like this. I’m just going to lose interest. I’m not even mad. That’s just the reality. You have to figure out if you really want this.”
The man jumped in his car and surprised me that evening and changed his habits completely. The only reason to get mad is if you’re afraid of the reaction to being honest and vulnerable. And even if it wasn’t what I wanted-I was actually at total peace with anything that had happened. I wish I could give that gift to Sabrina.
Sounds like Steven didn’t “jump in the car” to see her and make it right though. You expressed your needs and your husband stepped it up. She expressed hers and he didn’t.
@@chrissy4803 No. So many people have been raised with passive expression they can’t even see it. She actually said she just stopped calling to see if he would call first. They had an agreement at first, that’s true. But when he wasn’t meeting it, it’s pretty clear she said nothing and if she did it was critical and not plainly stating her needs. That’s what I’m saying. She may have felt she did what I did. It’s pretty clear that at no point did she ACTUALLY do what I did. They didn’t have a conversation where she laid out the reality and was willing to end things peacefully if he couldn’t meet her needs. She said nothing and stopped calling. That’s what teenagers do, not adults.
@@andianderson3017 she was talking about all of the things that led to the decision to leave. If they’re separated sounds like he could have had that chance to step it up but didn’t. Why are you so sure they didn’t have that conversation?
My point is, sometimes honest and super direct conversations don’t lead to a change in habits that could fix a relationship
@@chrissy4803 Yeah, sometimes they lead to the end of the relationship. My story happened to work out for me. It very well could not have and that also would have been far better than the nonsense Sabrina put herself through by not. Passive people will argue on and on about not wanting to cause pain meanwhile they are literally torturing everyone to death with passive aggression and dishonesty. Their relationship just ending mutually would have been 100X better than quiet silent seething and the dumpster fire that appeared on stage at the reunion.
I really wonder if the couples ever find your analysis of their relationships. I hope they do!
I’ve thought about this often.
I’m pretty sure they do, whether they acknowledge it or not.
I actually thought of tagging them, this could be so helpful to them
@@UwaseAnneSophie Honestly I hope they go to counseling instead of divorce.
To not communicate with your WIFE consistently…
To not visit her as much as she visited you ???
To cancel on Christmas LAST MINUTE ????
Yes I understand money was an issue, but if you’d communicated w your wife don’t you think it would’ve been smoother !!!
Ofc her walls came up sir !!!
I think, Steven is a guy who likes the idea and the image of him being married and be a dad etc. But he has no idea what that actually means and asks of him.
Yep, I agree and it's serious that at 37 he still doesn't know what it entails to be in a relationship
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯. I also think he wanted to promote his business primarily. But yes, he was also very performative.
@theCatsitter878 and there are so many out there like that. Women aren't the only ones being brainwashed by Hollywood and social media. But it's women who get humiliated for it.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 apparently he needs it. He said several times at the reunion that his business isn't working very well
Agree. I dated a guy very similar. Talked the talk about wanting to get married, start a family, be in a serious relationship very soon but in actuality struggled to commit and whenever things got serious with anyone would freak out and pull away.
To me he definitely shows avoidant traits - step by step getting out the relationship in a passive way, leaving the partner totally confused and hurt and even then confusing and gaslighting them
Just wanted to chime in and mention that my partner and I were long distance (East coast/West coast for 2.5 years and are now married (we've been together for almost 8 years in total).
Long distance can totally work! Just make sure you maintain your emotional connection and plan for the future!
This is so comforting because I’m currently in a long distance relationship- it’s been 2 years now (we’ve been together for 3 and half years total). I sometimes wonder if this season in our relationship will ever end because I sometimes miss him so much, especially his physical presence on a bad day and seeing each other once a month isn’t enough but with the economy, flights are so expensive. Knowing that one day this will all be in the past and I’ll get to wake up next to him everyday, brings me joy ❤ thank you for this
It really depends on the person. My main love language is quality time and physical touch. I have the most wonderful and healthy relationship I could dream of but when there are times we can't see each other in person for a longer time than one week it gets already hard for me.
I stopped liking Steven after the cancer story. My mom passed from cancer. While battling it she clung to her support system. For his ex to break up with him amidst her treatment made me think he might not have been very supportive to her. It also seemed really cold to me that he didn’t know whether she was currently ok. Even with the breakup I was surprised he didn’t check up on her now and then. Idk when she asked if his ex was doing better and he had no idea that would’ve ended things for me.
Yes this was a red flag to me as well! Thank you for bringing this up, I had forgotten
as someone who's dealt with severe physical and mental issues for half my life (im only 20 😭) i totally did not pick up on that!!! i've always isolated myself in illness due to lack of a foundational support system until this year and you're very right about him maybe just not being supportive enough. i do hope his ex is thriving now despite how it ended between them ❤️🩹
Yes if she’s ending things during that time it means he was burdening her one way or another and she wanted to focus on her health. That must have been such a hard place to be in. I hope for health and happiness for her
I never thought of this when I saw it but it makes so much sense!
@@jennifer-f9w7u I’m glad you guys agree I was honestly surprised the show portrayed it as a sweet story.
Oille and Demi next, please 🙏
Patiently waiting for Ollie and Demi
She said something in an interview that was really shocking….while he said he couldn’t go to her family Christmas gathering, he ended up going on a small trip to celebrate with his friends.
I was very sad to see them at the reunion not sitting together and hearing about what happened between them. I was excited about them as a couple but I had the same concerns as you did that I felt like they didn’t really talk about the big issues that would come up very soon in their relationship with figuring out where they would live and how they would compromise in the end. I kept finding myself feeling cautiously optimistic about their relationship because of those concerns. Another great analysis! I love these so much! Would love to see an analysis of Ollie and Demi’s relationship.
Sabrina said in her interview they spoke in depth about all the fundamentals including finances but it wasn't aired then Steven changed after marriage
I would’ve love to see more of a deep on Steven’s situation/ personality specifically. I don’t think it’s fair to blame the distance or even suggest thinks might’ve worked out if they fixed that issue.
Sabrina talked about lack of consideration, deceit, not sharing his actual living and financial situation. That’s a whole different story…
I agree it’s more than just long distance because I’ve experienced this same behaviour with men live in the same city as me
They neeeeed to have a therapist like you to host the reunions! It would be so much better.
When she said "i was trying to make everything easy and bubbly" I sensed what when wrong. She built up so much anger and resentment and avoided conflict as much as possible. Doesn't work.
The problem is that many people want to think every relationship breakdown is equally distributed in both partners. But they aren’t. Many relationships break down because one person is doing the majority of breaking it. This is absolutely a case of once again another man simply not following through on what he said he would do and pretending to be someone he’s not in order to get a woman to fall in love with him. Sure, it may have not all been malicious, but it was ignorant at best. When someone doesn’t celebrate Christmas with their spouse, especially the first Christmas, that crap isn’t a mutual problem. That’a a him problem. That’s why Sabrina is mad, but he’s mostly silent.
A lot of people also need to keep the patriarchal practices that have shaped most of our relational issues in mind when talking about relationships. It’s a very common problem for men like Steven to lie in the beginning and then not follow through on their word, and that problem is not able to be solved by women. It can only be solved by men being their authentic selves throughout the entire relationship.
I agree!
Yeah, Steph gave Steven too much grace, but that's the therapist approach I guess. i think Sabrina's only fault was not to spot the red flags sooner, but in an interview she said she had a very long relationship which lasted over a decade before she was single again in her middle 30s, so I guess she lacked the experience to notice the red flags.
I have been in a relationship for 10 years, 5 of which were internationally long distance and 10 months were in different states. It’s so incredibly difficult when one partner is avoidant and one is anxious. It takes a significant amount of work.
Girl you look so beautiful, the makeup is on point!! ❤
Stephen was in a house share. Meaning he does not own his apartment and was sharing it with a housemate. She couldn't just move in with him and this is why she didn't move to London. She owns her house in Belfast meaning she would have to either source tenants or come to some long-term arrangement which wasnt ideal considering Stephen's living situation wasn't stable.
these analyses are so helpful ! sometimes it feels like i see myself in some of the contestants and it makes me think about my behaviour and how i could learn from it and maybe improve myself
I love that ♥️
Personally, if you could go either way on having kids or not, then you shouldn't have kids. That's something that you need to be 100% all in for
1000% agree. It's why I'm so adamant on not wanting kids. Unfortunately, our culture shames people who don't want to be parents when, tbh in reality, many people would at least hesitate (especially guys, who don't have to give birth and aren't faced as poignantly with the idea of even temporarily giving up their careers to raise kids, much less permanently) if faced with the question of "what if your kid has a major disability that requires full-time care and extensive therapy? What if you get pregnant with multiples? Can you afford daycare if needed for them all, or would one of you have to give up your career? Do you have the care and patience to deal with a temperamentally difficult child without being overly harsh and punitive on them?"
Having kids, even more so than marriage I'd argue, is one where you NEED to be 100% in with ZERO expectations of ANYTHING in return, and tbh given how many parents even with "normal" parenting mess up their kids or burden them with their unfulfilled hopes and dreams and expectations (or even fulfilled and expecting them to carry it on), idk if as many people are truly "cut out" to be parents even if they say they want kids. Yk?
Now granted, on the "stay at home" front, I suppose it's overall fine if you're not willing but your partner is, and in that case guys do have it easier b/c I'd have a WAY easier time saying I wanted kids if I were a guy and didn't have to worry about pregnancy and childbirth and would probably have an easier time finding a woman willing to be a stay-at-home mom in those above hypotheticals than I would, as a woman, finding a man willing to do all that (although life can happen and who knows who might lose an income and who might need to work, but yk). But as a woman who would balk at the above questions, even if I DID want to spend at least some of my day-to-day life raising kids, I would say I don't have the dedication necessary to be a parent, and I wouldn't want to ask my partner to do something I'm unwilling to do, so even if I did kind of want kids (ignoring the pregnancy / childbirth thing), I personally wouldn't want to bother trying to narrow my search for love and a life-long relationship based on my ability to find a partner willing to do something I'm unwilling to do.
I couldn’t even get through the first episode of love is blind UK but of course I’m gonna watch your video
I really really enjoy your videos and been binge watching all of them!
I learned that the reason why I love to watch Love is blind because it’s so interesting to see psychologically why each person makes their decisions.
Then after finding your channel, it’s so interesting learning all your insights especially from a therapist. You have fuelled me with knowledge and more of an understanding of myself. Been putting the work on my mental health and I really appreciate the amount of work you put into this video!
I hope you are well❤️
30+ contestants made this a much better season for me
Thank you so much for this video! I love how you broke down Sabrina's past when it comes to putting all the efforts in the relationship with her dad. I never even clocked that, and how this part probably has a role in the way their relationship played out in the real world
There is also the element of men being intimidated by a woman who has all her ducks in a row, has a clear plan of how she wants her future to go and strategy on how to get there. The financial issue that caused Steven to cancel the trip at Christmas could have been the last straw. Sad they did not work out and it seemed there is a lot of resentment at the reunion, I hope they work out the resentment and look back at the experiment as part of their personal growth.
I really love how you edit your videos, showing clips from the show, makes the video so engaging and helps to understand what your explaining 👏🏾 thank you!
So excited for this one ❤
this SHOCKED me!!!! i didn’t see it coming at ALL!!! when they were sitting separately at the reunion i thought maybe they were doing so well they didn’t need to be sat together LOL
🤣
Saaaame!!!
I actually thought the conversation about children was really inadequate given how complicated it is. Not sure if if it's different in the UK when it comes to the cost of surrogacy, but even having good enough quality of eggs or viable embryos gets tricky with age, and the embryos don't always take to the surrogate. There is a very real possibility that this is not a viable option given finances / fertility depending on their age when they attempt it. So when Steven said "I'm okay with that," I was confused. Are you okay with adopting, using a surrogate, or both ? And are is only saying you're okay with it because you don't know how complicated surrogacy is and you don't think there is a high chance you would have to end up adopting? It seemed really oversimplified, and I wasn't sure if it's because they wanted to quickly move on after finding hope that they were on the same page, or because neither had enough information to have a more accurate conversation about the reality of these options.
He probably had no clue how difficult it would've been
Ya people don't know until they are there. Myself included
She said that they actually had an in depth conversation about the kids. Steven took a couple days to really think about it and they had talk for a good while on the subject. But because of how it was edited, the production made it seem like there wasnt days in between that conversation. and sabrina has expressed her frustration with editing for that.
Oh Yay! What a great surprise and sweet treat that this video was released so quickly. I hoesntly thought I had to wait at least 2 weeks for the next video. Thank you!
It just seems like he is not stable financially and the fact that she had means or at least she seemed to present that she could afford the expense of a long distance relationship, Stephen may not have been comfortable with the difference. It doesn't seem as though in the pods that finances were discussed (but it may have been off camera) and if so maybe Stephen wasn't as fourth coming concerning his lack of.
In other news, the US season 7 will premier on October 2nd ?????
I love your analysis so much, it really validated my perception of the couple. A lot of people are looking at it from a surface level without understanding the dynamics.
Great video, thank you!
Can‘t wait for the Tom and Maria video 🥹🙏🏼 I just watched the episode where Tom meets Tash for the first time in real life and I feel like he really misrepresents that conversation to Maria the next day. Saying that Tash had told him she loves him (present tense) and that she really seemed to want to get some things off her chest. I didn’t feel like that at all! I felt like Tom was seeking out that conversation more and was torn if he had made the right decision between Maria and Tash. Very curious to see what you have to say about it 💛
Of course I watched till the end! I love your channel & perspective it makes me feel like I’ll be more prepared for a relationship. Can’t wait for next one ❤
I appreciate you!! ♥️
Completely unrelated to your video, I wanted to say I’ve been listening to your videos for a while now, usually when I’m cleaning and cooking. Today I looked at my screen during the outro when you write “what’s Anya mind” and I can’t even begin to explain how much you blew my mind 😂😂😂😂
Your breakdowns are always so on point. Could you also cover Bobby/Jasmine & Nicole/Beniah's journeys?
Great analysis! Completely agree with you. My husband is my best friend and partner in life adn we've been together for almost 10 years now. HOWEVER, the only time I fully doubted if we could make it was when we needed to do long distance (New Zealand-Denmark). Because with that kind of distance, you will slowly grow distant from eachother as well. Then COVID happened and that fully woke us up and we decided, one of us moves or we break our engagement and go our seperate ways. Obviously, covid made it really difficult for us to get in the same country again. But at least it forced us to make a dicision instead of us just continueing our lives apart with litterly a world between us.
Moral of the story: No matter how much you love eachother, no matter how perfect you are for eachother. Long distance can kill you relationshif if you dont have a good plan and are not honest to eachother.
If you could, would you ever interview a couple like Sabrina and Steven for your RUclips channel? That would be super interesting because you can tell from the reunion, they never got a chance to talk and resolve their issues before separating them joining the reunion show. They could both benefit from a sit down with a therapist privately, but if they are willing we could all learn something from here in a joint interview.
I definitely feel like Steven let her down more than the other way around, although to be fair, he did ask, in the very beginning, if she was willing to relocate to London and she replied that she definitely would because there’s not many opportunities in Belfast, only to change her mind just a few episodes later.
Perhaps had she said “no, I don’t want to move to London” instead, he wouldn’t have continued dating her in the pods…
Apparently she didn't move because it turned house he had a flatmate
He shared an apartment. There was no space for her to move in with him.
Also he lived in a house share. She couldn’t even move in with him.
Stephen wasn't that much into her 🤷🏾♀️ Some men would rather pretend to go all the way with the process to avoid being seen as a jerk (*cough Ollie *cough).
It has nothing to do with money, it's about him not wanting to be with her, period.
PLEASE I NEED you to break down Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Specifically Taylor and Dakota’s relationship as well as Jen and her husband’s relationship. If you haven’t seen it you gotta watch!!
@@GetRealRy I don't really think so for me since Mormonism is like a cult and most of their issues stem from that. Getting married before you are mature, expected to fire out as many kids as possible , women expected to be perfect.
I was really routing for them so sad.
Keep the analysis coming looking foward to u unpacking demi and ollie
And also jasmine and her mums relationship
This was a major thing I noticed about this couple too, how much they were avoidant or wishy-washy about where they were going to live, and that it seemed like the failing to plan became planning to fail.
I watched the Out of the Pods episode that Sabrina was on, and she did clarify that part of the reason they were wishy-washy was because she owned her place in Belfast and they wanted to make sure everything was solid before she got tenants for a year and she was living with him in London. I still thought that they could have planned more though - like maybe Sabrina sets up a 6 month lease with tenants instead of a 1 year, or she could move to London in a different place with a short term lease so at least they could be in the same city while figuring out these logistics.
What I did find more damning were the things she said about his lack of effort - how he stopped their daily check ins and didn't try to do anything nice for her to make her feel cared for. Also that he only told her after being married about his financial issues. That made me think another large contributor to the end of their relationship was how the experience gives you an opportunity to only really show who you want to be and not who/where you actually are.
Your last sentence.........I think that women are more likely to suffer from that as well.
@@Seethewaymcs Sabrina really should have put all that about needing to take a year before moving to Belfast. They both did a terrible job at communicating their needs. Now they are in a blame trap. It’s sad.
Time to get my popcorn 🍿🍿
I think Steven is a psycho. Listen to the cancer story again. During his girlfriend’s most vulnerable time, when she needed the most support, she told him to go way she didn’t want to be with him anymore. And when Sabrina asked how is she, his response is idk. So this woman you were so called madly in love with, you didn’t care to check up or check in on her at all?? Very suspicious.
Yes, it is very telling of his avoidance nature. It hurts when you realize someone is not built to stick around during life's tough moments, even when you genuinely love them
agree with your evaluation. many lessons to learn. thank you. why can't we just all be emotionally matured at age 20, but we need another 10 years to mature and build up resilience and mental toughness??
I felt Something was off about Steven but couldn’t figure it out… I think his true feelings and thoughts weren’t shown as much on the show. I don’t really think he was that into Sabrina and he just wanted to be married in general.
I always felt that Steven and Sabrina were a bit of an awkward pair. I knew this was coming. So im not surprised.
I feel like he was never that into her. That she wasn’t his dream woman. Because a man in love will move mountains for you
I don't watch this show but always come here for your astute commentary. Based off of what was shared here, it seems like Stephen may not have been upfront or as honest about his financial situation as he could have been. Neither with Sabrina nor himself. He seems to have been willing to agree to any and everything just to get to a wedding but not really think through how all of that was going to work. In the reunion clips shared here, he seems to have been more honest about that aspect of it, but too little too late unfortunately. These shows do a relatively awful job at vetting the men for these shows. I don't know if it's because there's a very small pool to choose from or what, but a lot of the guys seem to have A LOT going on that would not make them good candidates for a relationship and marriage under normal circumstances, let alone special circumstances like these.
Preach.
I truly enjoy your videos. Thank you.
You really should dive into S4 of Love is Blind Brazil! So so so many dissections waiting to happen. Reunion is wild (TW, too).
I don't think Steven or Sabrina would have worked out in the same city either. I think Steven lost the spark for Sabrina, which doesn't make him evil, it was all just too soon.
@@44nk96 “Too soon” is the point of the show. It’s an expedited process for people who actually know what they want.
Apparently he told the boys she wasn't his type as soon as they had their reveal
Steven was never in it for marriage. He wanted to promote his business.
He lost the spark cos of distance and lack of communication.
@@bolu101 There was never a spark to begin with. Serena wasn't his type.
You have to do the ultimatum South Africa.
That was a dramatic season!
Stephanie did in fact say very clearly that she was more than willing to move because there were more opportunities in his city. Perhaps the discussion changed after their engagement or marriage, however, she did say without question that she would move. I found it so odd that it suddenly came into question later on, unless she became aware that there was perhaps no solid financial foundation or appropriate living situation there. She also didn't seem to want children at all, then compromised. Stephen's 'ex' story seemed odd and misplaced (editing?) and although they were aligned in some ways, perhaps best as friends. They didn't seem to have the same idea of how their marriage should be lived out.
Based on how things have been presented, the relationship is an example of expectations not being clear, being fixed, or being met.
She was saying things that sounded nice but when it came to implementation all that stuff was out of the door.
For me they had all these ideals. But marriage is not perfect and doesn't always go the way you ideally want it to go because you're dealing with another person with their own ideal view of marraige.
She said in the podcast that he had flatmates while she had her own place in Belfast, so I'm not surprised that it changed the equation entirely.
@onedirectionlover317 I understand that, bu t a lot of people have roommates or even live at home before getting married.
When I watched the reunion all I could think was "it seems like these problems could have been addressed with a couples therapist" and I wonder what might have happened if they communicated more and had a mediator to reassure them that they could get through it together. I got the sense that Sabrina didn't communicate her frustrations and expected him to notice the effort she was putting in. Kinda sad it ended for them so quickly.
Apparently Steven told the boys she wasn't his type as soon as they had their reveal. And apparently the reason she didn't move in with him is because it turned out he had a flatmate. Some things to consider
Steph, I’d love to hear your thoughts on some other comments mentioning Steven’s conversation about his sick ex being a red flag.
Also, I haven’t finished this video yet but I did want to say that I loved when the host Emma said in the first couple of episodes “is love enough?” The question is always “is love blind” and it definitely can be but a lot of times, love isn’t enough. I think that’s what happened with all of the couples who didn’t make it this season. I think they all truly loved each other but there were larger factors at play.
Omg! Sis, 3 minutes in and you're describing my situation perfectly. Right person, wrong circumstances
For more context, you should watch the Out of the Pods episode with Sabrina. She provides more information about post wedding and as far as I understood Sabrina’s been in therapy for years.
Sabrina said in an interview that Steven was rented his place and had a roommate while she owned her place in Belfast, which is why she didn't immediately relocate to London. She said it wouldn't have made sense for her to move in with Steven because of his roommate and would be limited to his room and she needed time to find a renter for her home, as well.
I never had a solid feeling about these two. I definitely think the distance was a factor, but I also believe they glossed over important conversations (at least from what was aired) that hold significant weight in a marriage. I think effort played a role as well; Sabrina seemed to put forth much more, while he did not. Lastly, you have to be able to have those tough conversations, even when they're uncomfortable. If you feel a way about a situation, you can't assume your partner knows what you're feeling. Talk to them!
I think women get resentful when they are giving too much because we are actually built to be the receivers and not the givers. Most men love to give but if a woman fills that role of giving, the man will naturally become the receiver.
When I was watching this , the first question I had was how could she have avoided the experience of picking someone that replayed the same childhood wounds that she had as a child. But I also realized that she also naturally went to the role of over-giving or doing more than the other so she played a part in replaying that role. I’ve learned that inner child work heals these wounds so you learn to show up for yourself which means you don’t have to run after someone else to give you love.
it seems to me that Sabrina brought so much resentment to Stephen that I wonder if she inadvertantly drove him away and partly contributed to his shutting down and pulling away and getting depressed. It still seems to me that the distance issue could have been negotiated if thsy had sought couple's therapy instead of expecting their relationship to work after only knowing each other for such a short amount of time.
So it’s Sabrina’s fault that she holds resentment 🙄
@@destinyschild5768 I don't think fault is a useful word in relationships. Both people were hurting. I was trying to point out that looking at it in a "he's bad and she's the victim" way, which is how Sabrina's comments seemed to sound to me, seems too simplistic. She seemed to lack empathy for his depression and money troubles and my heart went out to both of them.
this is exactly how i felt watching the reunion
Love is blind. Everyday life is not
I’d love to hear your insights on the relationship dynamics in “90 Finance” and “90 Finance: Happily Ever After?”
Yeah this one was a shock to me also 😮 I loved them together ❤ In the back of my mind I hope they’d eventually get back together 🤞🏾 I wonder what their families said once they were no longer together.
I'm honestly not sure if they're relationship would have worked if they were in the same city. Steven was clearly very committed to his work to the point of cancelling Christmas. For some reason it was not made clear to Sabrina just how important his work was. On the other hand, he may have felt a responsibility as a provider and he was so engaged in his work for the sole purpose of making a home for them, he forgot about nurturing their relationship. Maybe in his mind knowing that they were separated by distance, that he would initially throw all his effort into his work, make that substantial money and then he could back off, once they moved in together.
Same. I still wonder where they went wrong.
Hi Steph. I appreciate your analyses of these Love Is Blind relationships. However I am looking forward to your analysis of Benaiah and Nicole. Please and thank you.
There was a financial aspect on Stephens end that he wasn't honest about and Sabrina's ambition or level of stability was intimidating to him...
In another comment it's said that the women entered the show wanting to get married, but the men were APPROACHED.
As others have said, women are set up to fail on these kinds of shows.
The very premise of LIB shows this.
A woman can learn to love a man even if she wasn't initially attracted to him.
If a man isn't attracted to a woman it's game over (as Demi found out). He'll sleep with her of course.
I think that women will be more emotionally open and make themselves vulnerable in a way men are less likely to.
When it works it's great, but if it doesn't, the fallout can be tough.........
Then stop learning to love a man and actually be attracted to the one you are marrying so that it will be easy to love them,we do too many unnecessary things and expect the same from men,have boundaries and expectations,it's unnecessary to overlook someone's attraction when men would never do that for you,most men anyways
@@purplelove3666 The point of the show is to develop attraction by other means than looks. It seems that the women will work harder to overcome a lack of attraction, but if the man isn't attracted to her then there's no point if it's not reciprocated.
I really hated that they ended like this they were so beautiful together on the show it sucks it took a turn like that.
I am wondering if the maturity we saw in this season was influenced by the culture in addition to the age (for example USA vs UK). Is there more ressources there for mental health? Food for thought but I loved seeing them interact, communicate their feelings and listen actively. ❤
Meh, you can get CBT and *some* counselling on the NHS but mostly CBT and mostly for anxiety and depression. And the waiting lists are months if not years long. Unless you're okay with doing an online therapy (which is kind of like a course).
To get therapy that a licensed therapist gives in the US you have to pay yourself and the therapists are not properly regulated.
But the GPs will gladly prescribe antidepressants as needed.
So there is some support but it could be miles better.
I thought the same! There was very little drama, and they refrained from reacting in certain situations that could be triggering, such as Bobby being humiliated by his future mother-in-law.
Why is no one considering an option that Steven is a good actor? And went in to promote his business
Usually people that’s SUPER NICEEE AT FIRST LIKE STEVEN, are the absolute WORST.
Would you ever do a breakdown of reality dating shows like Love Island? I’d personally love to see your take on Serena and Kordell from LI6 who started off as friends and ultimately won the season. For me, the crazy reality dating shows like LI, Perfect Match and Too Hot To Handle are like major case studies on human behavior and what not to do in dating 😭 LI6 was good because I felt like there were some healthy displays of building relationships romantic and platonic
How has the show not made compulsory couple's therapy a requirement for when they're in the "real world" segment of the process? It seems so counterintuitive when the endgame is for people to legally bind themselves together like that.
Honestly, just about *every reality show* airing right now (all past ones, too, really) needs at least 3 compulsory sessions with a therapist for the individuals/couples/families; it needs to be a contractual requirement.
Duty of care is very low on these shows. LIB Mexico was appalling in this respect.
I think they can repair if they go to therapy together and forgive each other.
For Sabrina I got the impression she was trying to be laid back as possible but it didn’t seem like that’s was her natural demeanor. (Her constant referring to the “real world” gave me the impression she had doubts about their fitting together when there were no cameras) I got the impression that she may have been naturally more reserved or even critical based on the types of jokes she made. However I think she made a big effort to try and be open.
As for Steven I got the impression that Steven was trying hard to be positive and perfect. He seemed to avoid ever being at odds. At times it seemed like he was people pleasing to the extent that I wondered if he was more concerned about reassuring others in the moment by committing to things he ultimately couldn’t fulfill.
I think they both have a lot of potential to grow especially if they work on the things you stated in this video.
Sabrina spoke about how her new business kept her in Belfast longer....
can you please Talk about Demi and Ollie I think it will be helpful to a lot of women to hear your perspective.
I love watching your commentary and analysis. You should be training others to counsel. They could learn so much from you.
I don’t know their relationship, but if it was like anything Sabrina said it was….i’m not mad. Quitting a job for a man is ridiculous, married or not. I would only do that if kids were involved and I wanted to be close to them. But Steven definitely sold himself as a man he wasn’t if Sabrina is to be believed
Ok random, but can you please link the necklace you're wearing??? I love that chain!
I didn't trust him ever since he told that story about his ex gf with cancer, who he thought he will be with forever and who broke up him after she was diagnosed, bcs "she needs to focus on herself and cannot do 'us' right now".
Like what did that relationship look like, if she decided she would rather go through chemo alone than with him?
❤️I personally think Sabrina comes from a family that has real issues that require therapy! Her Mother was a hindrance to their relationship and put undue pressure on the relationship! The Mom projected her life and troubles on to her daughter, making Sabrina choose men that we're hurtful and possibly toxic ❗️
I swear I saw it coming from the moment they decided to skip the whole kid thing in the pods 😅
Hello Steph I love watching your videos! Can you please make a video analyzing the relationships from the movie Challengers? I think this movie has a lot of food for thought and I would love to hear your thoughts!
I felt that their connections in the pods seemed superficial. I also get concerned when people meet and overemphasize all the things they have in common. It may lead them to assume that they will never have big disagreements. It can lead them to be demoralized by the conflicts they will almost certainly occur in the future
where's the other couple videos from this season?
8:11 - I noticed the language in the video that the woman did "admit" that motherhood isn't important to her. I feel frustrated that a woman articulating certain visions and preferences for her life that isn't motherhood is seen as "admitting" something, as if she was fessing up to something and/or there was shame involved. Can we talk about women wanting what they want without any suggestion that there is any piece of it that is bad or shameful?
Can you please do the same analysis for love is blind Germany?