A BLACK MAN IS THEARPY IS A MIRACLE ALL BY ITS SELF. I commend him for that! I just wished he had did that before the show. I wonder if you got paid for making through the process and making it to the altar! Because its seems like all the couple except maybe one or two turn out really genuine. Take the money away and they would end this relationship sooner when they know its not going to work!
Therapy is not God. Some of yall got it twisted thinking therapy is the answer to everything when a person is off. Newsflash people take therapy and can still remain jacked up. Look at Clay switching therapist bc he was having trouble with the first few. It is not a one size fits all formula. We say “therapy” bc it’s a buzz word to throw people off our scent but the reality is, is all therapy does is hold a mirror up to you. You have to be the one to take a deep hard look and make the change. And you know how that goes, many of us have mirror. And we stay steady looking at it bc we forget what we looked like before. A lot of us subbing God for therapy as if it can change a man’s heart. It would behoove us to really take a deeper look to see that it is not therapy we need but truly Gods intervention. Mentors can help along the way. I’m not so spiritual that I reject resources available. I just know that’s not what people are doing.
@@terrycrews1760thank you! People need to be born again through the spirit(John 3:3) This is the only way we get lasting transformation and become new creation. (2 cor 5:17) true freedom and healing only comes from Christ!
@@terrycrews1760 we as humans need both! Some people are actually doing the work. You're not there with him, people Change everyday. Atleast he's trying. A lot of people don't even attempt to get help or try to change themselves.
Funny bc it was the one least selfish act he did. Everything else was self serving, self absorbed. Even his mom has shaped that paradigm as you hear her talk about what she wanted for her son to acquire. It was all about his receiving and NOT his giving.
Yes. He wanted to just date her afterward. She stated that being a fiance and going back to being a gf is contradictory to what she came on the show for.
@TheNyakaat No, his only fault was listening to mommy and going on a show to blind date and propose to a woman in 4 weeks time when he knew 1) looks are the most important to him 2) he is a cheater like his pops 3) and he really doesn't want to settle down. He should have said no to his momma and no to the show.
His mother conversation with his dad, so profound that it healed me from my parents resolution of their marriage, i carried that burden for years, her conversation healed me personal of the guilt and grief...thank you momma clay😊
Always about what Amber (AD) has done for him, been to him and allowed him to do. smh. I hope she finds the happiness she deserves and has someone equally pour into her!
He did mention that he was like a baby. I think his mother has wonderful intentions but may be over-mothering him to some extent. The child heals and becomes an adult when you trust them to stand on their own, flaws and all. But she admitted herself she is still learning. I’m 30 and it’s apparent to me that my parents will never stop being my parents, we are still learning to harmonize with each other. I’ve struggled with letting go of seeking validation and they have struggled with releasing control and letting me do me. What’s beautiful is we are seeing a family heal in real time by working on it. This is what healing looks like. It’s messy, painful, and requires lots of forgiveness, surrender, and accountability. I applaud it 👏🏽
@@Tia.K.COver compensating for the fact she didn’t leave sooner. Lest not forget for all she said during the wedding, she stayed with a man that cheated for over half the marriage. In addition to Clay going along with his dad while he cheated, the son saw his mom stick it out. He probably wondered why his mom stayed. No way she didn’t know. Most kids have to wonder what the heck is wrong with their parent at some point.
No accountability. He had every right to say he wasn’t ready but he knew that before bringing all of their friends and family there in national TV and embarrassing her like that. AD should have seen the red flags but he should’ve had some class and discernment and just told her that before the wedding in private.
A.D saw the flags but she chose to ignore them. While they were in the pods she said he is like every other guy that wasn't good for her. She decided to ignore. Then when they had the kitchen scene and he was asking about dating after the alter if he said no. That should have been a clue he was not ready. I am proud of her for keeping her boundaries and standards of not dating him afterwards. He really should have did his therapy work before going on the show.
He obviously was not ready and he showed AD indirectly. I think if AD paid attention , she would have figured it out, but she ignored all of it. watching the scenes where he is explaining his concerns about marriage, I saw AD could care less about what he was saying, and only had marriage on her mind, as if that would save them somehow. I don't believe he didn't know this until the final moment, but that he didn't know how to tell her. He did not consider her feelings at all, while dumping her at the altar. Shame on him for leading her up there and then embarrassing her this way.
I like Clay too. He seems to have a good heart. And I honestly believe AD should give him another chance. His mom raised him right because she seems to be a good person too...love her.
@@deannaf9300 me too. I think that they should date, why does she want marriage so bad🤦🏾♀️ That experiment was so accelerated, And very unusual, Which put pressure on them both To get married, they could have equally chosen to just date for a while 🤷🏾♀️
@@SaraMeeks-hy5txYes! Why would people wish struggle love on AD? AD needs to get with someone who wants what she wants. If and when he is ready he may not even choose her. If he really cares about her he would leave her alone until he is in a place to give her what she needs.
She was actually my favorite, she was A #1 class act…most gracious and graceful in her speech , she spoke life to her & the family situation… I think she knows Jesus personally… way to go 🌺 loads of love to her & Clay💕💕💕
No he didn’t, he did well. This man knows what he wants, AD herself is not ready for marriage. Has everyone forgotten how flirtatious AD was. She just craved for attention. She danced for jimmy when he said she has a nice ass, that was so disrespectful towards clay. I’m so glad he didn’t marry her.
Clays mom is making the same mistake with Clay as she did with her husband… she is enabling him and not holding him accountable for his mistakes. Clay has said the reason he did the show was because his mom wanted him to. He knew the truth about his childhood and yet he put his mother through that (and AD). Watching this clip they come across great but I watched the series and the only reason he went to the altar he wanted to be on the show as long as possible! So don’t be fooled by his good looks! He’s 30 a grown man, it’s time he act like it! And it’s time his mother stop making excuses for him! He did to AD what your husband did to you… only lucky for AD he did it in a shorted time frame. I am so proud of AD !
Clay was still struggling on looks, by several comments in the show, my intuition kept saying run AD!! he wasn't ready, had she not been his physical type, I dont know how the reveal would have went. Proud he realizes he needs work and was smart enough to know it! Commendable!!!. Also such a loving insightful mother. Absolutely love her. Don't rush into things, AD too! Thought you were kind and deserving; know that you are! Love the song forever ànd ever amen.(an oldie) If you truly can say that song applies then a person might be ready. Make sure your good on your own, then your better together. Everything's a learning experience. Much BLESSSINGS to you all and TX TAM!
I am soo glad he said “I do not” rather that saying “I do when he does not.. AD avoided a life of constant chasing him to give something he doesn’t have to give..he would have ended up leaving her. Clay needs at least 10 years from today to even be ready to think about marriage and give that commitment. AD deserves someone who is ready.. I wish them both the best.
Why are you so naive. People get on the show to find love hoping it ends in marriage. It doesn’t mean it will end In marriage. That’s why they get the option to say NO.
Yeah, its his salesman brain. I detected this early on everytime he was asked a tough question. He was always answer with the perfect answer someone would want to hear in the same way you address a customers pain points in a sale.
I honestly believe he might just have many thoughts at once and I'm not trying to diagnose him but I think it's thought process coupled with nervous energy
I could only watch the recaps on YT. But Clay did express apprehension the whole way through. Still how heartbreaking it must've been for AD to get a no at the alter is undeniable. In the end, Clay made the right decision. And I love his Mom! ❤
Which is crazy because folks are admitting this when it comes to the "Megan Fox " look alike but they tip toe around it with him all for the sake of "black love"
Oh I love it that they were on your show! This particular conversation is bigger than him saying love is blind. They brought something to the table that has been too silent 🤐 Great job for providing a safe place, Tamron! 👏🏾👏🏾
He and his mom always talk about what HE needs in a woman, but forget the part about what kind of supports and care he should provide. All his mom talked about was being a "provider", but clay is self-serving and shallow. At the end of the show he talked about not knowing what AD's finances were like (which they didn't talk about at the reunion) and in the beginning he was worried about her looks. He wasn't raised well at all.
I love his mom. I understand Clay's trauma but I really feel like he shouldn't have gone on this show. I didn't like the way he was cheesing extra hard and fake at AD during the wedding ceremony knowing he was going to say no. I agree with AD that he knew all along and it wasn't a "game time" decision.
As a mother, I’m not looking for someone to “take care of my son.” I need someone to bring something to the table and be a teammate of equal character and quality. Hopefully I’ve raised my son so that I’m the only mom he needs. A wife is not a second mother.
I am so confused. Clay talks in circles and IMO, I don't think he is genuine. So..he stated on the reunion that if he could go back, he would marry her. However, now he says during this interview that he is not ready to be married right now. 🙄andtheOscargpesto
@@breeanders15 i think he means that he would want to marry her, but he know he's not where he needs to be to be a good husband for AD, whereas AD is ready to be someone's wife.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from my parents whom divorced when I was a young child was to not bring the child/children into their adult situation. I was in my 30’s when I had the hardest conversation I’d ever had with my mother after she learned from my sibling about us learning about a child conceived while he was with her. She was angry with me because I didn’t tell her. It felt like years of all the stress and tension started creeping up on me when I rejected it for the first time. I told her that I wasn’t the person that cheated on her so I shouldn’t be the person hearing all the hurt and pain in her voice when she was told about it. I expected her to yell and go off on me but to my surprise, for the first time she realized she had been giving me “all the business” that was meant for him. Then he didn’t talk to me for weeks because he assumed I was the one the that told her. I politely reminded him that he had more than one child with her as he hadn’t even considered that I hadn’t been the one that “told” on him.
I am the mother of 3 young men, and I tried not to judge Clay. A.D was always ahead of Clay. They were always at different stages. As a matter of fact, I was not happy that A.D decided to accept Clay’s proposal, because he wasn’t sure of himself, even though he wanted to become a husband. He was not ready for that huge commitment. It put too much pressure on him, and at the last minute, he caved. Totally understand what happened. He still needs more time to gain more healing. That journey is ongoing. Happy A.D is happy a year later.
With 3 sons we don't expect you to say any diffrent. He lied to AD, she revealed that he continuously told her that he would marry her. According to her, she even told him that she did not mind not marrying him if he wasn't ready, but he said no, he's ready, he insisted. He then proceeded to embarrass her on national TV. He's 🗑 and I hope she does not take this guy back.
@TM-10-py7ji Build-a-boo, has me on the floor. I agree with your thoughts on both. AD wants a project and that's what Clay was for her. Her own self-esteem is connected to her need to fix men and have them emotionally dependent on her. Therapy can help her see that. I'm also glad that Clay is getting help. So often in the AA community, therapy is frowned upon, but he and his family are bringing men being vulnerable, trauma, generational effects of trauma and healing to the forefront. I hope others can learn from their pain.
@@lemonaid13 You are totally wrong if you think that I take my sons’ side in their relationships. I stay out, unless they seek my opinion. Even then, I stay neutral. If I think any one of my sons are in the wrong, they receive my feedback. With that said, I’m a woman’s woman. I had sympathy for what A.D experienced at Clay’s hand. Clay talked himself into wanting be ready for A.D. However, any man or woman, who is not mentally ready for marriage should not take that step. Unfortunately A.D insisted that she didn’t want to simply date him. That forced his hand. No woman should take on a man who is not settled emotionally, and decide they will carry the load, until he is ready. It’s too large of a burden. If things go awry, then he could say….”well you forced my hand into marriage.” He could not see beyond that kind of scenario. With ongoing therapy he now knows that things may have worked out for the best. Unfortunately, he did not have the knowledge a year ago. I still think he made the right call. He should not have been on the show, without having done the inner work first.
🤔 you are aware he signed up to be on the show. So his bewilderment that they actually had to marry was alarming. That man was jealous of his competition and he just wanted to prove he could get her. He never complimented her. He could have told her after they moved into together because he never came home unless they were filming.
I didn’t hear her make an excuse. She saw that he was awful in relationships. She encouraged him to do something different and go on the show. It seems that they have a close relationship. So in that, I believe she would’ve called him out especially after seeing what his dad did to her. She shows grace. She said she has a heart for AD.
I wish more of us could be this reflective, thoughtful, mature and responsible in our decision making. It’s refreshing to watch shows like Tamron Hall’s that use their platform to hold such important and honest conversations about trauma, marriage and other issues that affect our daily lives.
Clay’s situation is so real and so raw. Thank you Tamron for shining light while other sources continues to disregard the truth about what an everyday Black man goes through when infidelity is involved at a young age.
It’s no excuse for black men cheering. They cheer is mass numbers and create broken homes because they want to. Thats just an excuse. If you know better you’d do better.
That right there is an amazing momma. I cried twice hearing her perspective. We need more people like her in this world. Keep on shining and being you Momma Clay.
Guys you have an amazing man who is facing his trauma and doing the work with the help of his mama to change a pain cycle. This is amazing. It took hurting someone for him to grow and he did, with his mama’s support, which deserves applause. Sucks AD got hurt and she has an opportunity to do the same level of healing work to choose and vibrate with an emotionally available partner. The work done is beautiful and deserves celebration. No one showing up to do the work should be shamed.
Omg I just finished watching this and this had me sooo emotional. I absolutely adore his mother and I truly feel like Clay is a good guy who had a really bad example of what a husband should be and he’s really trying to break that cycle. I really wish him the best and hope he heals and finds love. I wish the same for AD, of course. It’s just sad because they could’ve been amazing together. The way she poured into him was something magical.
I salute the honesty and the truth of what Clay and his Mom is saying here with humility and a lot of understanding. AD and Clay will always going to be friends for life and both had an eye opening experience from the show and learned a lot about themselves. The message they send out through this whole experience is genuine and educational. God bless them all.
I love the healing that's happening and that his mom was brave enough and courageous enough to speak up and tell her ex husband that he needed to man up and apologize and begin the healing process🙏🏾🥰
I'm a 37 year old divorced mom of 2 who was blindsided by the betrayal of my ex-husband back in 2020, 14 years into our marriage. When I see Ms. Rita, I see strength, power and a conversation I'll likely never get to have with my ex. I pray no one ever has to live through this type of pain as a mother. Sometimes it is overwhelming and we'll do anything within our power for our kids, including confronting our betrayer.
I’m so glad that him and his mother went on the show. These type of conversations around divorce and trauma are not being had. This was a conversation that was much needed and I respect them for being so vulnerable and speaking their truth. I commend Clay for having the courage to say no to AD and admit he was not ready. Loved this interview ❤️
How do you know that? He has repeatedly explained the situation, but it seems that due to your lack of trust in men, you perceive all of us as untrustworthy. Seeking guidance or support may be beneficial for you.
@@EricJohnsonresign He had a lot of excuses. Even her own mother didn’t trust the fact that he didn’t come home for days at a time to a woman who he was supposedly engaged to. I don’t perceive all men as untrustworthy because I don’t have a one track mind. I could say that you have women issues because of your mother or but I don’t know you same way you don’t me. What I do know is what I saw.
It wasn't a conclusion, its facts. It's important to note that the majority of reviews on Clay's experiences come from women, and many of them express criticism towards his mistakes and honesty. This further highlights the challenges men face when opening up about their emotions, as they may receive negative treatment mostly from women similar to what Clay has experienced..@@brownskinbeauty.
Did you see AD say she's use to dating ballers and athletes. Also, she started shaking her butt in front of Jimmy at the beach when he committed on her body. Did you see and hear that? Y'all funny lol! @@Vanessa-gw4zi
That is all nice and everything, but isn’t the show for those who say they are ready for marriage? Clay knew he had issues to work on and knew he wasn’t ready for marriage, so why go on such a show? I am sorry for what his father exposed him too, but he should’ve been in therapy already. I just don’t trust Clay and his real motives for being in that show and I still don’t trust him. And his mother saying he is a good provider? Did Clay not say some ish about AD’s finances after he said his “I don’t “ to AD at the altar? That isn’t the mark of a good provider. Clay just wants a woman to continue to coddle him and it only matters what she does for him. I don’t recall him ever saying what he can do for his lady. AD needs help too, but she dodged a bullet with Clay. She needs to run and don’t ever look back. 😂
This is exactly what Clay wanted. Popularity! Social media frenzy! He said no because it would be controversial and he would be the center of attention. He seems very calculated. I don’t by this therapy crap, how are you suddenly so introspective? This was completely thought out. He’s a salesman; not buying it.
This season of LIB got DEEP!!! So grateful for Clay and AD for being willing to be open and raw with their emotions throughout the whole process. Their honesty transcended reality tv which has allowed an opening in our society to talk about generational traumas and the issues that prevent us from experiencing love and living our greatest lives. These are the kinds of conversations we need to be having in order to heal ourselves individually and as a society.
🎯. He's a hot mess. The show's objectives are very clear. *Date, sight unseen, fall in love, propose and get married after the honeymoon!* He wasted everyone's time.
I don’t know why everyone hates Clay. I appreciate what he did. He said more about his feelings than my narcissistic gaslighting ex ever did! I appreciate his mom’s transparency so much! I was screaming and crying at the TV like YES Mama say all that’s 😂❤ much love to you all. Clay I respect the honesty, the only thing is perhaps a heads up might’ve softened the blow for Amber. 😢sad bc I could see the potential! ❤
May I ask why his beautiful, well put together, wise and articulate mother has to come back? Why can’t you just give them more time on the subject matter? As a Psychologist, I definitely appreciated how she spoke with the father about their marital issues and confronting his infidelities, which affected their son’s attachment style. For a boy or girl to witness their mother be unloved is heartbreaking. Women may seek to replace the love they never witnessed, while men will be traumatized to commit, and attach, due to never seeing their mother, whom they learn how to love from. I do see something far beyond his attachment issues. It appears he does not feel good enough and felt the need to perform to feel worthy of love. His dad is smart, well put together but more focused on riddles and being a vacation dad, than actually helping him with development. His mother was most likely authoritarian, while growing up. Clay also seems to battle with sexuality and manhood issues. He is more interested in dragging a Romantic situation out, while he figures himself out. The truth of the matter is, he does it at the expense of others, which is narcissistic. Not once, has he discussed why he finds this A.D. woman to be amazing. It’s all about what she did for him and how she carried him but it never focused on how he carried her. He went on a dating show to find love, yet he also stated he never expected to find it. That tells me everything I need to know. He’s a man moving through life and waiting for an epiphany. I just hope he truly finds his authentic self because it doesn’t appear his parents, who are very focused on reputation and presentation helped him with this. It’s all about Clay!
His mother, as sweet and kind as she seems, is absolutely coddling and enabling him. That being said, I don’t believe that she’s aware of it. She still sees her baby.
An example of a woman who coddles her precious man child. She’s super smart and seems kind but nowhere did she ever call him out for his poor behaviour. They’re all about Clay and don’t put the same weight on AD’s trauma!
As a mother, I would be sooo embaressed. Its crazy how much we give black men a pass because of "generational trauma"... He's a whole ass adult man. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He is manipulative and narc. His mom needs to stop capping for him. Edit: He knew FROM THE START that he didnt want to get marry. He played all his family, Ad's family and AD herself. Did the whole wedding prep, the ceremony and did his lovey dovey speech and ditched her in front of EVERYONE. This was planned. Everyone has some kind of generational trauma. Black women, we have the most, yet that didnt stop us to take care of our kids, be responsible adults, get ourselves educated etc.
@user-jr5jb2ei4yI disagree. I really think watching his dad cheat on his mom really messed him up. I can’t imagine how being torn between his mom & dad messed him up. Imagine loving both of your parents deeply while one is bringing you with him to cheat on your mom & then having to bottle up the truth from your mom. That is heavvyy! He’s battling between good and evil or right and wrong. His dad instilled horrible ways in him & it seems like he’s trying to unlearn them. Generational curses are hard as hell to break & that’s why a lot of cycles are constantly repeated within families. I believe he’s trying or wants to break it bc imo I don’t think he wants to put any woman through what his mom suffered. No he may not have went about it the right way when it comes to being on the show, but I do think that was part of him trying to be better & trying to find love. maybe he (naively) thought and was hopeful that it would change him completely to the point that he was ready for marriage. unfortunately, he just wasn’t ready yet.
Listening to his mother and seeing how she handled everything, she is a part of the problem. She babies Clay, even at his big age, and expects another woman to do it, too. His mother is a pick-me. And the cycle continues.
No clays mom stayed in a marriage where his dad was unfaithful she didn’t know his DAD asked him to keep it a secret from his mom I hate that he led A.D. on but when he saw his dad agin ALL that came back to him I just wished he could have got individual therapy and marriage therapy but I guess he wanted to face his own demons his mom is CLASSY she has moved on clays dad was just being a player still trying to talk to her..
@@janderson9477...Please stop making excuses for Clay or his mother. She knew that his father was a cheater and probably stayed until the kids were grown. She was part of the problem.
Y’all are forgetting that he brought up concerns to AD about the issue of marrying so soon and continuing the experiment. He expressed several times that he felt like it was too soon and that he loved her and wanted to be with her, and be in a relationship on a typical timeline for them to get to know each other more, but she gaslighted his concerns and basically gave him the ultimatum to continue with the timeline of the EXPERIMENT (people clearly forgot that’s what it is) OR they break up now. Those were his two options. Given how much he felt he loved her, he continued to fight through his uncertainties to try to be ready on the extremely short timeline of the show. Meanwhile, he’s discovering for himself that his issues are deeper than he thought and he needed more time to sort that out to make sure he can be what she needed. Ultimately, he realized in the moment before making a serious vow to God and before their families that he was not ready for that in that moment. But y’all would rather he be pressured into saying yes, and then stuff ends in disaster because he wasn’t truly ready. This is a unique experience and you really can’t judge like that until you’ve experienced it. So I don’t understand why people are being so hard on him or even shocked he said no at the altar, when he’s not the first to do that and the show is literally setup where that is a possibility. That does not make him a bad person and it does not mean he did that on purpose. This is not a regular wedding. Please go back and rewatch him voice his concerns just to be shut down because she was so focused on what she wanted. I hope both of them the best, and I hope they find love with someone else and marry when they’re ready.
He wanted her to be a forever fiance. He has infidelity issues, and maybe wouldn't feel "so bad" just cheating on a girlfriend. He signed up for a show that ends in an expedited wedding, thus marriage. If he wasn't ready for that at all, he shouldn't have come on the show. So in that context, AD's timeline was in line with what they BOTH signed up for. I have a feeling Clay is used to getting his way, and figured he had AD in the bag either way.
And he was NOT gaslit by her wtf 😂 HE came on the show knowing full well 1) he was not ready to be married 2) he's more on the shallow side, no judgement, but love certainly isn't blind If anything, he strung her along because he knew she was more into him. Remember, he wasn't "deeply in love", yet at the reunion he said he regrets his decision. He just says whatever sounds right in the moment, salesman style. And I was in sales, so not shade, but he's a slick one lol
So we need to be the "Trauma First" then they become the best version of themselves, this is Bull Don't speak to him ever again move on and receive love from the one that comes for you, and he is out there. Let this dude continue to do his media Blitz. Watch the door that opens for you.
😂l am a fan of the show, however today I was so disappointed. Clay was given the benefit of doubt because of his generational trauma. However As a black woman, it appeared that AD's trauma was ignored and reduced to her tears, what about her trauma, she was humiliated in front of the world. He could have been a man and told AD that he did not want to get married.Clay knew that she was dealing with the loss of her father, having to walk down the aisle alone and her own insecurities of feeling that she wasn't enough. Black women are always put in the category of being able to take anything, including public humiliation. Where are our protectors? We have generational trauma, that of being expendable, in our personal and work lives.Clay's mental instability did not give him license to traumatize another person and that's what he did to AD;it was avoidable. Clay's mother was not the hero, AD's mother was; she gracefully escorted her daughter away, with grace and dignity. As a black woman it was not AD's job to prop Clay up. I think he has been propped up too much. Sometimes we need a shoulder to lean on. Lastly, thank God for small favors, she dodged a big bullet.
@user-jr5jb2ei4ythen he should left long before the alter or not even came in the show .. The man is a narcissist and only into hisself crazy people dont notice that
Clay mom is a revelation. She’s so smart and articulate. She could definitely have her own tv show. She’s emotionally very intelligent and ground to earth.
I didn't watch the show but saw online him tell AD that he couldn't marry her. I'm s mother of sons and daughters and there's no way I could watch my daughter hurt like that nor see my son do that to someone. We all have trauma believe it or not and what he did was horrible. His mom is a very stand up lady and she made me cry hugging AD. I'm still pissed with her son though.
AD dodged a bullet. He's so into himself and only himself. His language was always about what AD could give HIM, nothing of what he could provide for HER.
Men think their the prize nowadays so they be trying to adorn themselves with dainty accessories. Besides Clay proposed by asking AD ro take his lovely hand in marriage...what else can you expect with that?😂
Clay's mother needs to just drop a book, podcast and/or woman's seminar at this point. She has a story to tell and the way she has handled everything is just so inspirational. A lot of people could take a page from her book on how to handle hurt and betrayal in a healthy and healing way. She seems to have handled it all with such grace and as a woman and especially a black mother, I commend her.
Clay did the right thing 100%. He wasn't ready and he protected AD in the long run (in the most real way) by saying no for now. Let's see what the future holds. God is good!
I like Clay - you could see what was happening after his Dad came to see him. I'm more freaked out at that video of him wearing a tshirt that I had in the 90s. Now I miss it.
Wow! Reading these comments a lot of people haven't dealt with their own psychosis/trauma. If they'd done so, they'd realize you don't know when the effects of trauma will manifest. Better at the altar than on the honeymoon or when AD and Clay were married and expecting. It manefested at HIS divine right time. So many of us would have stifled those feelings and gone through with the ceremony. God Bless them all.
We understand and empathize with his trauma...as most of us have our own. But he knew he did not want to marry her (BEFORE the altar) and probably figured she would, at best, be a forever girlfriend. Or get rid of her eventually. The trauma is real but so are other people's feelings. He played her for his 15 mins, whether you want to see it or not. And no I do NOT think he should have said yes. But maybe 1) not come on a show that's about failing in love blindly, when you're shallow or 2) getting married when you're not ready at ALL That part is simple.
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![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Clay is lucky to have a mother like that. I could listen to her talk for days
A BLACK MAN IS THEARPY IS A MIRACLE ALL BY ITS SELF. I commend him for that! I just wished he had did that before the show. I wonder if you got paid for making through the process and making it to the altar! Because its seems like all the couple except maybe one or two turn out really genuine. Take the money away and they would end this relationship sooner when they know its not going to work!
Therapy is not God. Some of yall got it twisted thinking therapy is the answer to everything when a person is off. Newsflash people take therapy and can still remain jacked up. Look at Clay switching therapist bc he was having trouble with the first few. It is not a one size fits all formula. We say “therapy” bc it’s a buzz word to throw people off our scent but the reality is, is all therapy does is hold a mirror up to you. You have to be the one to take a deep hard look and make the change. And you know how that goes, many of us have mirror. And we stay steady looking at it bc we forget what we looked like before. A lot of us subbing God for therapy as if it can change a man’s heart. It would behoove us to really take a deeper look to see that it is not therapy we need but truly Gods intervention. Mentors can help along the way. I’m not so spiritual that I reject resources available. I just know that’s not what people are doing.
@@terrycrews1760thank you! People need to be born again through the spirit(John 3:3) This is the only way we get lasting transformation and become new creation. (2 cor 5:17) true freedom and healing only comes from Christ!
Yes. She needs to give more advice
@@terrycrews1760 we as humans need both! Some people are actually doing the work. You're not there with him, people Change everyday. Atleast he's trying. A lot of people don't even attempt to get help or try to change themselves.
He did her a favor. Marriage is sacred.
Exactly I wish he could have told her BEFORE the wedding or just got individual therapy but it’s for the best God has more for her
Funny bc it was the one least selfish act he did. Everything else was self serving, self absorbed. Even his mom has shaped that paradigm as you hear her talk about what she wanted for her son to acquire. It was all about his receiving and NOT his giving.
@@terrycrews1760 This is exactly what I said. She wanted someone to take care of him. When he doesn't seem ready or willing to take care of anyone.
Yes. He wanted to just date her afterward. She stated that being a fiance and going back to being a gf is contradictory to what she came on the show for.
@@mellod5615 Actually he is willing, he's in therapy🤷🏾♀️ he seems to be trying to become a better person
I love Clay's mom.
Me too
Same! Beautiful and brilliant lady.
Clay’s Mom is the real MVP… Nothing but love for her. Praying Blessings for both of them 🙏🏽
Kudos to AD for not signing up for Operation-Build-A-Boo after the alter.
Absolutely!!! I hope she finds someone deserving.
That’s all men think we are here to do. Build them up over a lifetime. Mf im exhausted!!! Build us up hell!
AD said in her interview with Nick Viall that she and Clay are friends with benefits.
She too is far from perfect. This man’s only fault was that he waited to the altar to say I Don’t. He is putting in the work to heal.
@TheNyakaat No, his only fault was listening to mommy and going on a show to blind date and propose to a woman in 4 weeks time when he knew 1) looks are the most important to him 2) he is a cheater like his pops 3) and he really doesn't want to settle down. He should have said no to his momma and no to the show.
Now that’s a Mama! Kudos to her & I hope their family finds healing.
His mother conversation with his dad, so profound that it healed me from my parents resolution of their marriage, i carried that burden for years, her conversation healed me personal of the guilt and grief...thank you momma clay😊
Where can I find the conversation please?
Wow that’s amazing
@@evadney1000It happened after he said no at the altar. So the last episode before the reunion. Netflix Love is Blind Season 6
I adore Clayton's mother ❤
Just like she enabled his father for so many years, she’s enabling her son to be self destructive. She needs therapy.
Always about what Amber (AD) has done for him, been to him and allowed him to do. smh. I hope she finds the happiness she deserves and has someone equally pour into her!
Right. It was never how he wants to provide for her, support her, love her….it was just about what she did for him.
Yup every time he opens his mouth all you hear is I, I, I and me me me
He did mention that he was like a baby. I think his mother has wonderful intentions but may be over-mothering him to some extent. The child heals and becomes an adult when you trust them to stand on their own, flaws and all. But she admitted herself she is still learning. I’m 30 and it’s apparent to me that my parents will never stop being my parents, we are still learning to harmonize with each other. I’ve struggled with letting go of seeking validation and they have struggled with releasing control and letting me do me. What’s beautiful is we are seeing a family heal in real time by working on it. This is what healing looks like. It’s messy, painful, and requires lots of forgiveness, surrender, and accountability. I applaud it 👏🏽
@@Tia.K.COver compensating for the fact she didn’t leave sooner. Lest not forget for all she said during the wedding, she stayed with a man that cheated for over half the marriage. In addition to Clay going along with his dad while he cheated, the son saw his mom stick it out. He probably wondered why his mom stayed. No way she didn’t know. Most kids have to wonder what the heck is wrong with their parent at some point.
Y’all care way too much
I’ve said it before, but Tamron Hall is a gem. She is such a careful, insightful, empathetic interviewer and I love it!
Agreed! She's fantastic 🙌🏿
No accountability. He had every right to say he wasn’t ready but he knew that before bringing all of their friends and family there in national TV and embarrassing her like that. AD should have seen the red flags but he should’ve had some class and discernment and just told her that before the wedding in private.
That’s not the point of the show, dip. Y’all act like Clay is the first person to say no.
He wasn’t even sure he was going to say no until that moment. Didn’t you hear him say that on the reunion or y’all have selective hearing?
I agree. If he wasn't ready, why go on the show?
A.D saw the flags but she chose to ignore them. While they were in the pods she said he is like every other guy that wasn't good for her. She decided to ignore. Then when they had the kitchen scene and he was asking about dating after the alter if he said no. That should have been a clue he was not ready. I am proud of her for keeping her boundaries and standards of not dating him afterwards. He really should have did his therapy work before going on the show.
He obviously was not ready and he showed AD indirectly. I think if AD paid attention , she would have figured it out, but she ignored all of it. watching the scenes where he is explaining his concerns about marriage, I saw AD could care less about what he was saying, and only had marriage on her mind, as if that would save them somehow.
I don't believe he didn't know this until the final moment, but that he didn't know how to tell her. He did not consider her feelings at all, while dumping her at the altar. Shame on him for leading her up there and then embarrassing her this way.
This mother is an INSPIRATION. 🥰
I appreciate clays transparency. May God continue to bless him and AD
I like Clay too. He seems to have a good heart. And I honestly believe AD should give him another chance. His mom raised him right because she seems to be a good person too...love her.
@@deannaf9300 me too. I think that they should date, why does she want marriage so bad🤦🏾♀️ That experiment was so accelerated, And very unusual, Which put pressure on them both To get married, they could have equally chosen to just date for a while 🤷🏾♀️
AD needs too run 🏃♀️ fast!
@@SaraMeeks-hy5txYes! Why would people wish struggle love on AD? AD needs to get with someone who wants what she wants. If and when he is ready he may not even choose her. If he really cares about her he would leave her alone until he is in a place to give her what she needs.
@@sbfairyright. Stop encouraging black women to be with men who don’t care for them.
She was actually my favorite, she was A #1 class act…most gracious and graceful in her speech , she spoke life to her & the family situation… I think she knows Jesus personally… way to go 🌺 loads of love to her & Clay💕💕💕
I agree
I didn’t even watch the whole show but that one scene was everything.
Me either I only watched that part
Wish Clayton would have put in the work before going on Love Is Blind? He brought an innocent woman into his mess.
Exactly.
Let the man grow.
_She_ still has work to do, as well. That should be _clear._
Yep, but I’m glad AD didn’t take him back on the reunion show.
No he didn’t, he did well. This man knows what he wants, AD herself is not ready for marriage. Has everyone forgotten how flirtatious AD was. She just craved for attention. She danced for jimmy when he said she has a nice ass, that was so disrespectful towards clay. I’m so glad he didn’t marry her.
Clays mom is making the same mistake with Clay as she did with her husband… she is enabling him and not holding him accountable for his mistakes. Clay has said the reason he did the show was because his mom wanted him to. He knew the truth about his childhood and yet he put his mother through that (and AD). Watching this clip they come across great but I watched the series and the only reason he went to the altar he wanted to be on the show as long as possible! So don’t be fooled by his good looks! He’s 30 a grown man, it’s time he act like it! And it’s time his mother stop making excuses for him! He did to AD what your husband did to you… only lucky for AD he did it in a shorted time frame. I am so proud of AD !
Clay was still struggling on looks, by several comments in the show, my intuition kept saying run AD!! he wasn't ready, had she not been his physical type, I dont know how the reveal would have went. Proud he realizes he needs work and was smart enough to know it! Commendable!!!. Also such a loving insightful mother. Absolutely love her. Don't rush into things, AD too! Thought you were kind and deserving; know that you are! Love the song forever ànd ever amen.(an oldie) If you truly can say that song applies then a person might be ready. Make sure your good on your own, then your better together. Everything's a learning experience. Much BLESSSINGS to you all and TX TAM!
I am soo glad he said “I do not” rather that saying “I do when he does not.. AD avoided a life of constant chasing him to give something he doesn’t have to give..he would have ended up leaving her.
Clay needs at least 10 years from today to even be ready to think about marriage and give that commitment.
AD deserves someone who is ready..
I wish them both the best.
Whoever is writing Clay’s responses is doing a good job. When he speaks he’s not even comprehending what he’s saying.
dwl girrl lol
His a** shouldn’t have applied to be on the show knowing he wasn’t ready for marriage … Periodt!!!
That's likely why he got on the show... the producers knew he would add some drama. It's not about love; it's about views.
@@8eautyInTheDark like even as a viewer a drama free show would be boring so… I’m here for it
This! I said that from the beginning. He never should have applied. The only positive is the messy cheating drama amongst his parents.
Why are you so naive. People get on the show to find love hoping it ends in marriage. It doesn’t mean it will end In marriage. That’s why they get the option to say NO.
He didn’t apply he got recruited, by producers, to go on the show.
He has a great mother, who loves him, and has his back.❤❤
Finding a Therapist that’s a match for you is crucial to your healing journey. I like that for Clay!! What a awesome Mom 🙏🏽❤️
He’s not ready because he has some really deep issues that he’s struggling with. Interpret that however you see fit.
🤔 I think you’re talking abt what I thought I saw 👀 on the show but then I was like hmmm idk lol
100% I support him AND I agree.
Not only with the issues of his childhood, but the other thing. I think he struggles with someone else as well. If you pick up what I’m putting down.
@@DaniSoCali im not picking up what you're putting down. I have a thought or 2 but could u please elaborate?
Are you insinuating that he’s attracted to men 🫢
Clay always sounds like he's reading from a script
Yes! Men's go-to phrase for skirting responsibility these days "...I'm in therapy..." 🙄
😂
Yeah, its his salesman brain. I detected this early on everytime he was asked a tough question. He was always answer with the perfect answer someone would want to hear in the same way you address a customers pain points in a sale.
I 100% Disagree. He did want her. He is healing. Good for him
I honestly believe he might just have many thoughts at once and I'm not trying to diagnose him but I think it's thought process coupled with nervous energy
I could only watch the recaps on YT. But Clay did express apprehension the whole way through. Still how heartbreaking it must've been for AD to get a no at the alter is undeniable. In the end, Clay made the right decision. And I love his Mom! ❤
S/o to Clay. Keep putting in that work. I saw this interview live and rewatching now.
Clay making up every excuse and trying to do damage control when the real reason is he just didn’t want that girl. 🙄
Right. His reaction at the reveal said it all. None of the interviewers addressed that.
Which is crazy because folks are admitting this when it comes to the "Megan Fox " look alike but they tip toe around it with him all for the sake of "black love"
It was the fact he was about to marry this girl but wouldn’t refer to her as “ Amber “. That was weird to me
@@MsBre7huh?
@user-jr5jb2ei4ywow this comment said it all. When delusional neets deception, it makes for great TV. Whew
Oh I love it that they were on your show! This particular conversation is bigger than him saying love is blind. They brought something to the table that has been too silent 🤐
Great job for providing a safe place, Tamron! 👏🏾👏🏾
He shouldn’t have gone on the show ! He nor his mother have acknowledged her son’s selfishness
He and his mom always talk about what HE needs in a woman, but forget the part about what kind of supports and care he should provide. All his mom talked about was being a "provider", but clay is self-serving and shallow. At the end of the show he talked about not knowing what AD's finances were like (which they didn't talk about at the reunion) and in the beginning he was worried about her looks. He wasn't raised well at all.
@@Pou1gie1 exactly !!
Neither he nor his mother have....
Who are you to say this? It’s a reality show
@@amcra1 what’s your point ? It’s their reality that they’re feeding the media
I love his mom. I understand Clay's trauma but I really feel like he shouldn't have gone on this show. I didn't like the way he was cheesing extra hard and fake at AD during the wedding ceremony knowing he was going to say no. I agree with AD that he knew all along and it wasn't a "game time" decision.
I get his trauma too but i can't help to feel that his mom is making excuses for him .. we all have trauma but we cant use that for our bad actions
Why did they let him on the show? Mom stop making excuses for him he is not a child !!!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
He was great for the show. There are other cast members that this question will be more applicable to
💯
THIS. Why doesn’t anyone see this 🙂
Thats real life. Men are always coddled🤷🏽♀️
As a mother, I’m not looking for someone to “take care of my son.” I need someone to bring something to the table and be a teammate of equal character and quality. Hopefully I’ve raised my son so that I’m the only mom he needs. A wife is not a second mother.
THIS !!!
Absolutely not! You don’t wait until the wedding day.
So true. He should've told her prior to that moment, even if it was the day before.
You guys would have hated him even if he would have told her early@@brianal7143
I am so confused. Clay talks in circles and IMO, I don't think he is genuine. So..he stated on the reunion that if he could go back, he would marry her. However, now he says during this interview that he is not ready to be married right now. 🙄andtheOscargpesto
@@breeanders15 i think he means that he would want to marry her, but he know he's not where he needs to be to be a good husband for AD, whereas AD is ready to be someone's wife.
Yeah I can’t take the coddling. Why was he crying on that guy’s shoulder in the pods?
One of the biggest lessons I learned from my parents whom divorced when I was a young child was to not bring the child/children into their adult situation. I was in my 30’s when I had the hardest conversation I’d ever had with my mother after she learned from my sibling about us learning about a child conceived while he was with her. She was angry with me because I didn’t tell her. It felt like years of all the stress and tension started creeping up on me when I rejected it for the first time. I told her that I wasn’t the person that cheated on her so I shouldn’t be the person hearing all the hurt and pain in her voice when she was told about it. I expected her to yell and go off on me but to my surprise, for the first time she realized she had been giving me “all the business” that was meant for him. Then he didn’t talk to me for weeks because he assumed I was the one the that told her. I politely reminded him that he had more than one child with her as he hadn’t even considered that I hadn’t been the one that “told” on him.
Margarita is so pure. I just love her energy
I am the mother of 3 young men, and I tried not to judge Clay. A.D was always ahead of Clay. They were always at different stages. As a matter of fact, I was not happy that A.D decided to accept Clay’s proposal, because he wasn’t sure of himself, even though he wanted to become a husband. He was not ready for that huge commitment. It put too much pressure on him, and at the last minute, he caved. Totally understand what happened. He still needs more time to gain more healing. That journey is ongoing. Happy A.D is happy a year later.
With 3 sons we don't expect you to say any diffrent. He lied to AD, she revealed that he continuously told her that he would marry her. According to her, she even told him that she did not mind not marrying him if he wasn't ready, but he said no, he's ready, he insisted.
He then proceeded to embarrass her on national TV. He's 🗑 and I hope she does not take this guy back.
@TM-10-py7ji Build-a-boo, has me on the floor. I agree with your thoughts on both. AD wants a project and that's what Clay was for her. Her own self-esteem is connected to her need to fix men and have them emotionally dependent on her. Therapy can help her see that. I'm also glad that Clay is getting help. So often in the AA community, therapy is frowned upon, but he and his family are bringing men being vulnerable, trauma, generational effects of trauma and healing to the forefront. I hope others can learn from their pain.
@@lemonaid13 You are totally wrong if you think that I take my sons’ side in their relationships. I stay out, unless they seek my opinion. Even then, I stay neutral. If I think any one of my sons are in the wrong, they receive my feedback.
With that said, I’m a woman’s woman. I had sympathy for what A.D experienced at Clay’s hand. Clay talked himself into wanting be ready for A.D. However, any man or woman, who is not mentally ready for marriage should not take that step. Unfortunately A.D insisted that she didn’t want to simply date him. That forced his hand. No woman should take on a man who is not settled emotionally, and decide they will carry the load, until he is ready. It’s too large of a burden. If things go awry, then he could say….”well you forced my hand into marriage.” He could not see beyond that kind of scenario. With ongoing therapy he now knows that things may have worked out for the best. Unfortunately, he did not have the knowledge a year ago. I still think he made the right call. He should not have been on the show, without having done the inner work first.
🤔 you are aware he signed up to be on the show. So his bewilderment that they actually had to marry was alarming. That man was jealous of his competition and he just wanted to prove he could get her. He never complimented her. He could have told her after they moved into together because he never came home unless they were filming.
@@tiaj7819Thank you!
Mothers need to stop making excuses for their sons bad behavior. He definitely chose to embarrass that woman AT THE ALTAR.
you’re too old to be thinking like this… it was a contract wedding
Why do you care? Y’all take these shows too seriously
I didn’t hear her make an excuse. She saw that he was awful in relationships. She encouraged him to do something different and go on the show. It seems that they have a close relationship. So in that, I believe she would’ve called him out especially after seeing what his dad did to her. She shows grace. She said she has a heart for AD.
@amcra1. Ignorant comment
I was thinking the same thing. They are defending his childish actions and it’s obvious he went on the show for secondary gain.
I wish more of us could be this reflective, thoughtful, mature and responsible in our decision making. It’s refreshing to watch shows like Tamron Hall’s that use their platform to hold such important and honest conversations about trauma, marriage and other issues that affect our daily lives.
Clay’s situation is so real and so raw. Thank you Tamron for shining light while other sources continues to disregard the truth about what an everyday Black man goes through when infidelity is involved at a young age.
Amen!!
What does it have to do with being a black man?
It’s no excuse for black men cheering. They cheer is mass numbers and create broken homes because they want to. Thats just an excuse. If you know better you’d do better.
That right there is an amazing momma. I cried twice hearing her perspective. We need more people like her in this world. Keep on shining and being you Momma Clay.
This woman is an absolute gem. She deserves nothing but great things and Clay is so fortunate to have her as a mother.
Guys you have an amazing man who is facing his trauma and doing the work with the help of his mama to change a pain cycle. This is amazing. It took hurting someone for him to grow and he did, with his mama’s support, which deserves applause. Sucks AD got hurt and she has an opportunity to do the same level of healing work to choose and vibrate with an emotionally available partner. The work done is beautiful and deserves celebration. No one showing up to do the work should be shamed.
Omg I just finished watching this and this had me sooo emotional. I absolutely adore his mother and I truly feel like Clay is a good guy who had a really bad example of what a husband should be and he’s really trying to break that cycle. I really wish him the best and hope he heals and finds love. I wish the same for AD, of course. It’s just sad because they could’ve been amazing together. The way she poured into him was something magical.
AD you are enough for any man, God speed, please don't fall into the drama mode circumstance. Girl you are wonderful 🌹
I’m excited to watch this- she was such a warm, welcome presence on the show 💜
Take care of him???? Clay is literally a big baby!
Lolol😂😂😂…that comment made me tilt my head too😂😂😂
Would that not fall under the roles of a wife? And vise versa?
@@justhereyeah1112no because a man should lead his family. What was Clay doing for AD? What does Clay bring to the table besides his d*c*?
That part, eww
Atleast he's in therapy and working on his self, a lot of men don't do the work. Shoot a lot of women don't do the inner work🤷🏾♀️
I salute the honesty and the truth of what Clay and his Mom is saying here with humility and a lot of understanding. AD and Clay will always going to be friends for life and both had an eye opening experience from the show and learned a lot about themselves. The message they send out through this whole experience is genuine and educational. God bless them all.
I love the healing that's happening and that his mom was brave enough and courageous enough to speak up and tell her ex husband that he needed to man up and apologize and begin the healing process🙏🏾🥰
I'm a 37 year old divorced mom of 2 who was blindsided by the betrayal of my ex-husband back in 2020, 14 years into our marriage. When I see Ms. Rita, I see strength, power and a conversation I'll likely never get to have with my ex. I pray no one ever has to live through this type of pain as a mother. Sometimes it is overwhelming and we'll do anything within our power for our kids, including confronting our betrayer.
I’m so glad that him and his mother went on the show.
These type of conversations around divorce and trauma are not being had. This was a conversation that was much needed and I respect them for being so vulnerable and speaking their truth.
I commend Clay for having the courage to say no to AD and admit he was not ready.
Loved this interview ❤️
Mom you are greatness! Thanks for your wisdom and sharing it with the world. Love you mom.
These two are so inspirational. Much needed to hear, we can all learn from this.
SUCH an important conversation to be had. Kudos to everyone involved in this!
I adore Clay's mom she's the biggest superstar of love is blind :)
Clay never wanted AD he never even came home at night she dodged a bullet.
How do you know that? He has repeatedly explained the situation, but it seems that due to your lack of trust in men, you perceive all of us as untrustworthy. Seeking guidance or support may be beneficial for you.
@@EricJohnsonresignThe same way that you came to the conclusion that she thinks all men are like this. No where in her comment did she even say that
@@EricJohnsonresign He had a lot of excuses. Even her own mother didn’t trust the fact that he didn’t come home for days at a time to a woman who he was supposedly engaged to. I don’t perceive all men as untrustworthy because I don’t have a one track mind. I could say that you have women issues because of your mother or but I don’t know you same way you don’t me. What I do know is what I saw.
It wasn't a conclusion, its facts. It's important to note that the majority of reviews on Clay's experiences come from women, and many of them express criticism towards his mistakes and honesty. This further highlights the challenges men face when opening up about their emotions, as they may receive negative treatment mostly from women similar to what Clay has experienced..@@brownskinbeauty.
Did you see AD say she's use to dating ballers and athletes. Also, she started shaking her butt in front of Jimmy at the beach when he committed on her body. Did you see and hear that? Y'all funny lol! @@Vanessa-gw4zi
That is all nice and everything, but isn’t the show for those who say they are ready for marriage? Clay knew he had issues to work on and knew he wasn’t ready for marriage, so why go on such a show? I am sorry for what his father exposed him too, but he should’ve been in therapy already. I just don’t trust Clay and his real motives for being in that show and I still don’t trust him.
And his mother saying he is a good provider? Did Clay not say some ish about AD’s finances after he said his “I don’t “ to AD at the altar? That isn’t the mark of a good provider.
Clay just wants a woman to continue to coddle him and it only matters what she does for him. I don’t recall him ever saying what he can do for his lady. AD needs help too, but she dodged a bullet with Clay. She needs to run and don’t ever look back. 😂
🎯🎯🎯🎯
This is exactly what Clay wanted. Popularity! Social media frenzy! He said no because it would be controversial and he would be the center of attention. He seems very calculated. I don’t by this therapy crap, how are you suddenly so introspective? This was completely thought out. He’s a salesman; not buying it.
You better tell them!!!! 🗣🗣🗣
He got what he wanted. She is "the love of his life" for tv purposes only. Hopefully he will eventually, finally, grow up and be a real man.
FACTS!!!
This season of LIB got DEEP!!! So grateful for Clay and AD for being willing to be open and raw with their emotions throughout the whole process. Their honesty transcended reality tv which has allowed an opening in our society to talk about generational traumas and the issues that prevent us from experiencing love and living our greatest lives. These are the kinds of conversations we need to be having in order to heal ourselves individually and as a society.
Why go on the show? He clearly wanted his 15 minutes of fame.🤷🏾♀️🤔☹️🫣
🎯. He's a hot mess. The show's objectives are very clear. *Date, sight unseen, fall in love, propose and get married after the honeymoon!*
He wasted everyone's time.
I don’t know why everyone hates Clay. I appreciate what he did. He said more about his feelings than my narcissistic gaslighting ex ever did! I appreciate his mom’s transparency so much! I was screaming and crying at the TV like YES Mama say all that’s 😂❤ much love to you all. Clay I respect the honesty, the only thing is perhaps a heads up might’ve softened the blow for Amber. 😢sad bc I could see the potential! ❤
May I ask why his beautiful, well put together, wise and articulate mother has to come back? Why can’t you just give them more time on the subject matter?
As a Psychologist, I definitely appreciated how she spoke with the father about their marital issues and confronting his infidelities, which affected their son’s attachment style. For a boy or girl to witness their mother be unloved is heartbreaking. Women may seek to replace the love they never witnessed, while men will be traumatized to commit, and attach, due to never seeing their mother, whom they learn how to love from. I do see something far beyond his attachment issues. It appears he does not feel good enough and felt the need to perform to feel worthy of love. His dad is smart, well put together but more focused on riddles and being a vacation dad, than actually helping him with development. His mother was most likely authoritarian, while growing up. Clay also seems to battle with sexuality and manhood issues. He is more interested in dragging a Romantic situation out, while he figures himself out. The truth of the matter is, he does it at the expense of others, which is narcissistic. Not once, has he discussed why he finds this A.D. woman to be amazing. It’s all about what she did for him and how she carried him but it never focused on how he carried her. He went on a dating show to find love, yet he also stated he never expected to find it. That tells me everything I need to know. He’s a man moving through life and waiting for an epiphany. I just hope he truly finds his authentic self because it doesn’t appear his parents, who are very focused on reputation and presentation helped him with this. It’s all about Clay!
Yes! Yes! Yes.. Im not a therapist and I saw all this so clearly
I Love that he’s on there with his mom ♥️
I'm just wondering is she coddling him in a way..saying she wanted someone who would" take care of him"🤔
His mother, as sweet and kind as she seems, is absolutely coddling and enabling him. That being said, I don’t believe that she’s aware of it. She still sees her baby.
An example of a woman who coddles her precious man child. She’s super smart and seems kind but nowhere did she ever call him out for his poor behaviour. They’re all about Clay and don’t put the same weight on AD’s trauma!
Clays mom is a literal angel from god. Bless her soul.
Every time I watch a video from this lady’s show it’s always a top quality subject
She was a powerful voice for sooooooo many women with that conversation. Best part of that show for me.
I love the real conversation.
As a mother, I would be sooo embaressed. Its crazy how much we give black men a pass because of "generational trauma"... He's a whole ass adult man. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He is manipulative and narc. His mom needs to stop capping for him.
Edit: He knew FROM THE START that he didnt want to get marry. He played all his family, Ad's family and AD herself. Did the whole wedding prep, the ceremony and did his lovey dovey speech and ditched her in front of EVERYONE. This was planned.
Everyone has some kind of generational trauma. Black women, we have the most, yet that didnt stop us to take care of our kids, be responsible adults, get ourselves educated etc.
Yep, the BM is always the victim and the BW is always the problem.🙄
@user-jr5jb2ei4yI disagree. I really think watching his dad cheat on his mom really messed him up. I can’t imagine how being torn between his mom & dad messed him up. Imagine loving both of your parents deeply while one is bringing you with him to cheat on your mom & then having to bottle up the truth from your mom. That is heavvyy!
He’s battling between good and evil or right and wrong. His dad instilled horrible ways in him & it seems like he’s trying to unlearn them. Generational curses are hard as hell to break & that’s why a lot of cycles are constantly repeated within families.
I believe he’s trying or wants to break it bc imo I don’t think he wants to put any woman through what his mom suffered.
No he may not have went about it the right way when it comes to being on the show, but I do think that was part of him trying to be better & trying to find love. maybe he (naively) thought and was hopeful that it would change him completely to the point that he was ready for marriage. unfortunately, he just wasn’t ready yet.
I completely agree with you. Generational trauma? Nah. . He planned this. He knew what he was going to do as she walked down the aisle. Shameful!!!!
We support Clay! Hang in there and keep growing in grace.💕
God bless his sweet mom!
I loved her from her first appearance on this show, such a wise woman.
Listening to his mother and seeing how she handled everything, she is a part of the problem. She babies Clay, even at his big age, and expects another woman to do it, too. His mother is a pick-me. And the cycle continues.
No clays mom stayed in a marriage where his dad was unfaithful she didn’t know his DAD asked him to keep it a secret from his mom I hate that he led A.D. on but when he saw his dad agin ALL that came back to him I just wished he could have got individual therapy and marriage therapy but I guess he wanted to face his own demons his mom is CLASSY she has moved on clays dad was just being a player still trying to talk to her..
@@janderson9477...Please stop making excuses for Clay or his mother. She knew that his father was a cheater and probably stayed until the kids were grown. She was part of the problem.
Yep, another grown man being coddled by his “Mommy.” 🙄
@@janderson9477she knew that her husband was cheating she just didnt kno he went with his father on some occasions
@@monalisamorley !!!!!
Y’all are forgetting that he brought up concerns to AD about the issue of marrying so soon and continuing the experiment. He expressed several times that he felt like it was too soon and that he loved her and wanted to be with her, and be in a relationship on a typical timeline for them to get to know each other more, but she gaslighted his concerns and basically gave him the ultimatum to continue with the timeline of the EXPERIMENT (people clearly forgot that’s what it is) OR they break up now. Those were his two options. Given how much he felt he loved her, he continued to fight through his uncertainties to try to be ready on the extremely short timeline of the show. Meanwhile, he’s discovering for himself that his issues are deeper than he thought and he needed more time to sort that out to make sure he can be what she needed. Ultimately, he realized in the moment before making a serious vow to God and before their families that he was not ready for that in that moment. But y’all would rather he be pressured into saying yes, and then stuff ends in disaster because he wasn’t truly ready. This is a unique experience and you really can’t judge like that until you’ve experienced it. So I don’t understand why people are being so hard on him or even shocked he said no at the altar, when he’s not the first to do that and the show is literally setup where that is a possibility. That does not make him a bad person and it does not mean he did that on purpose. This is not a regular wedding. Please go back and rewatch him voice his concerns just to be shut down because she was so focused on what she wanted. I hope both of them the best, and I hope they find love with someone else and marry when they’re ready.
He wanted her to be a forever fiance. He has infidelity issues, and maybe wouldn't feel "so bad" just cheating on a girlfriend. He signed up for a show that ends in an expedited wedding, thus marriage.
If he wasn't ready for that at all, he shouldn't have come on the show. So in that context, AD's timeline was in line with what they BOTH signed up for. I have a feeling Clay is used to getting his way, and figured he had AD in the bag either way.
And he was NOT gaslit by her wtf 😂 HE came on the show knowing full well 1) he was not ready to be married 2) he's more on the shallow side, no judgement, but love certainly isn't blind
If anything, he strung her along because he knew she was more into him. Remember, he wasn't "deeply in love", yet at the reunion he said he regrets his decision. He just says whatever sounds right in the moment, salesman style. And I was in sales, so not shade, but he's a slick one lol
Clay's honesty and open heart moved the needle for many Black men.
This woman is a well or fountain of knowledge. So much wisdom and grace!
I upload her
So we need to be the "Trauma First" then they become the best version of themselves, this is Bull Don't speak to him ever again move on and receive love from the one that comes for you, and he is out there. Let this dude continue to do his media Blitz. Watch the door that opens for you.
Margarita is the woman everyone wants in their life, yet so few people deserve.
😂l am a fan of the show, however today I was so disappointed. Clay was given the benefit of doubt because of his generational trauma. However As a black woman, it appeared that AD's trauma was ignored and reduced to her tears, what about her trauma, she was humiliated in front of the world. He could have been a man and told AD that he did not want to get married.Clay knew that she was dealing with the loss of her father, having to walk down the aisle alone and her own insecurities of feeling that she wasn't enough. Black women are always put in the category of being able to take anything, including public humiliation. Where are our protectors? We have generational trauma, that of being expendable, in our personal and work lives.Clay's mental instability did not give him license to traumatize another person and that's what he did to AD;it was avoidable. Clay's mother was not the hero, AD's mother was; she gracefully escorted her daughter away, with grace and dignity. As a black woman it was not AD's job to prop Clay up. I think he has been propped up too much. Sometimes we need a shoulder to lean on. Lastly, thank God for small favors, she dodged a big bullet.
Truth
Well said. Thank you for this post 👏👏
Well said
Very well stated!
@user-jr5jb2ei4ythen he should left long before the alter or not even came in the show .. The man is a narcissist and only into hisself crazy people dont notice that
Tameron is a great interviewer. I’m not one for interview shows but I might have to start watching this one.
Clay mom is a revelation. She’s so smart and articulate. She could definitely have her own tv show. She’s emotionally very intelligent and ground to earth.
Clay’s mom is a beautiful human ❤being
Clays Mom is the GOAT!!! To have that conversation on National TV with her ex husband… I felt that!
I didn't watch the show but saw online him tell AD that he couldn't marry her. I'm s mother of sons and daughters and there's no way I could watch my daughter hurt like that nor see my son do that to someone. We all have trauma believe it or not and what he did was horrible. His mom is a very stand up lady and she made me cry hugging AD. I'm still pissed with her son though.
LIB provides a therapist for the first year after the show. Then after that you have to obtain your own therapist. That’s most likely why he switched.
What she may want for him could be what he doesn’t want for himself. From my viewpoint he wants to be a play boy not an husband.
Right. He will be like Warren Beatty (anyone remember him)and won’t marry until late in life.
AD dodged a bullet. He's so into himself and only himself. His language was always about what AD could give HIM, nothing of what he could provide for HER.
So MANY men are wearing pearls. I've always considered a string of pearls quite feminine.
Same, I can’t get with it. I wish my husband would 😒
&& I believe It’s the necklace he got for AD 🫠
Same. Akas wear pearls, not men
Men think their the prize nowadays so they be trying to adorn themselves with dainty accessories. Besides Clay proposed by asking AD ro take his lovely hand in marriage...what else can you expect with that?😂
I can't get with this ! What's going on with men today ? Some of them are just into too much feminine stuff for me!
I think Clay just don’t want to be married … he grew to like her but didn’t love her … from the first time he saw her out the pods my opnion 🙃
Okayyyyy clay’s mom!! Here for the press tour 😅👏🙌
Clay is only about Clay, AD find your real love, you are
BOTH mothers were the stars of the show! When I think of this season, the mothers immediately come to mind…….🎯🤷🏿♀️
You know what that's true...AD mom and Jeremy were dropping truths...actually rye dad's too- Laura and Amy's
Clay's mother needs to just drop a book, podcast and/or woman's seminar at this point. She has a story to tell and the way she has handled everything is just so inspirational. A lot of people could take a page from her book on how to handle hurt and betrayal in a healthy and healing way. She seems to have handled it all with such grace and as a woman and especially a black mother, I commend her.
Clay did the right thing 100%. He wasn't ready and he protected AD in the long run (in the most real way) by saying no for now. Let's see what the future holds. God is good!
This Clay highlighted his mom good move
Awesome family..AD be patient with this man it will all be worth it in the end.praying for all.
Clay did what was right for him! He is a smart , handsome , man, he will go far! The right woman will come in time!😍
I like Clay - you could see what was happening after his Dad came to see him. I'm more freaked out at that video of him wearing a tshirt that I had in the 90s. Now I miss it.
Wow! Reading these comments a lot of people haven't dealt with their own psychosis/trauma. If they'd done so, they'd realize you don't know when the effects of trauma will manifest. Better at the altar than on the honeymoon or when AD and Clay were married and expecting. It manefested at HIS divine right time. So many of us would have stifled those feelings and gone through with the ceremony. God Bless them all.
We understand and empathize with his trauma...as most of us have our own. But he knew he did not want to marry her (BEFORE the altar) and probably figured she would, at best, be a forever girlfriend. Or get rid of her eventually.
The trauma is real but so are other people's feelings. He played her for his 15 mins, whether you want to see it or not. And no I do NOT think he should have said yes. But maybe 1) not come on a show that's about failing in love blindly, when you're shallow or 2) getting married when you're not ready at ALL
That part is simple.
Beautiful conversation ❤❤❤❤
Margarita is one of my fave LIB stars! She is just lovely in every way.