Video point outs - AVOID: Negative self-talk, negative public talk, don't be humble out of fear. Self love creates self esteem. One of the most important thing is to create boundaries. Be authentic. Stand up for yourself! You are worthy just by existing. Accept responsibility for your happiness, and stop blaming others (their opinion about you doesn't matter, it's merely projection of their own beliefs.) Keep affirmations simple. Challenge yourself with 21 days mirror work with positive affirmations!
At 68, I need to write (have written by someone) a book? Believe we all should write the TRUTH or our history (existence) should be documented. I lived in narcissistic Abuse, when it had no name, when speaking up about it made you feel “whats wrong with ME ?” Now my 2 sons are in Narcissistic Abuse and their children, they adore, are tools used to manipulate them. I spent the last 15 years of my life as full time nanny to Grandchildren. I made Mommy’s sacrifices, but also was Blessed w their Love. Thing “is”, now (last 2 the parents both stay home since they get more money than working , its accepting as if I never existed in their Lives. Im poor and need counselling, unfortunately I’ve found that money, to others replaces God. Narcissists are only happy when they are deceiving, receiving or just plAin fooling you. Its their “high”. How does an Empath see all this and know ... yet put this out of mind n heart? ? I have Grandchildren whose very existence is in hands of Narcissists Mothers who “they” parent ..or are used as tools. There was NO maternal bonding. The Answer ? Its in God’s Hands. If only the Fathers weren’t prisoners and recognized its a Generational Trauma and the Narcissists aren’t the victim because their Daddy’s or Mommy’s didnt Love. Title of a book ? Lies that steal Lives ? Diaries of a Dumb Blonde.? I’ve lived the lie, because the Children would be hurt knowing the Truth. I’ve protected the narcs deceptions, lying and stealing and their falseness when “someone was looking”. When I suggest or address the Truth, getting help, Im discarded. Paying their consequences almost made me Homeless, in a couple years the victims of Domestic theft could be Homeless, I can’t stop it. Who would believe “His Mother” or the Mother in Law ?
Love this so much. Ah, so beautifully said ' If you have a low opinion of yourself, you will attract someone who agrees with you.' 'You are worthy because you exist.'
I cried! I cried, by listening to you. You touched a very sensitive nerve for me. I love your matter of fact attitude, I do! I'm guilty of not fully and authentically loving myself, Im a people pleaser, I to lovers who don't respect my boundaries, and in return I become hateful and vindictive. I will begin a new. I will look at myself and remind me of who Im suppose to be. I appreciate your advice respectfully. I love these videos, thank you for your time.
Dee- I totally feel you and am so happy you're here. Self love is a journey and sometimes all you need is a great coach (and lucky you cuz you have me ;) Please make sure to sign up for free gifts and weekly live stream with me by signing up for the waiting list for the Real Love Revolution here www.terricole.com/rlr then join our private, girls only FB group here : facebook.com/groups/RealLoveRevolution/members/
Dee, thats how I react, I always say yes, then I resent them and get angry with them, I am trying to change and I say NO, now when I mean no and I feel ok with it, I dont guilt myself out anymore...reading John Bradshaw's book "Healing The Shame That Binds You" John, outlines in baby steps, how to change negative self-talk into loving positive self-talk...we are each worthy of loving ourselves.
Terri Cole Real Love Revolution thank you so much my love! Being a fatherless young lady, I was looking everywhere to not let my circumstances dictate the course of my life. I am learning how to love myself at this point. So grateful for your videos and channel.
Your such an encouragement to me ♡♡ my self love has been buried too deep for too long.....i never knew where to begin because i put the ones i loved before me, thinking they would appreciate my selfless giving.......i was wrong. I needed to etep back in my life and begin to learn WHO and WHAT i was and wanted for myself....i had to begin to like myself as i never knew. i was at a level of putting others needs before my own at my expense......now, with your clear talk that im resinating with i see patterns that i find unhealthy and too minimizing of all that i have done for family and others... i have been going crazy feeling i needed to prove myself to my family mostly without the positive feedback i should have been getting from them, honestly.........i bent over backwards without as much as a Thank You...it was if i owed them my loyalty and they didnt appreciate all that i sacrificed......now, with the perfect words I needed to hear is so timely, and is having such a positive self-realization that ive needed for myself.. ♡ Thanks so much for your insight....Im so looking forward to hearing more videos from you and sharing your message ♡ Love your messages of encouragement so much ♡♡
It all starts with self compassion which is why inner child work is so useful. Once you realize you’re berating a child, it creates powerful motivation to stop.
Thank you Terry. I love you already 😘 Am a survivor of a narcissistic mother and father. Am currently still living in their house and it is HELL! Literally. Am organising my finances so that I can move out and NEVER return. So, thank you for letting me know that I am not alone and that there's nothing wrong with cutting contact completely with abusive toxic people. Sending you much love and light. 😀😇
After selfhate for more than 50 years (narcissist mother and 2 violent boyfriends), now you can read on my mirror: "I love myself, I forgive myself all my mistakes!" 💖💭💗💞👑👏🕊
So true! That is probably the main reason why the majority of relationships fail.We tend to love our partners more than ourselves thinking that is how to have them respect us and love us.That is not the case! We have to set boundaries and put our needs and ourselves first or others will use us as a doormat!
GREAT advice! After a lifetime of a malignant narcissist mom speaking to me with contempt, hatred, disdain - I would treat others so much nicer than the way I'd speak to myself. Isn't that odd? Yet, it makes so much sense. When someone like a hateful mom, makes it her mission in life to make sure that you hate yourself as much as she hates herself - if feels normal, "familiar-familial' to speak to ourselves the same way. My mother was a sadist, she was a despicable person who loved to see pain, fear, humiliation in my face - and whatever talents I had she made sure to kill any pride I took in my accomplishments. Narcissists will not have anyone outshining them, in any way. So it's not hard to understand why we play down our accomplishments. We were too afraid to stand out in any way for fear of the reign of Hell that was about to come down on us from a jealous narcissist. I wish I'd rebelled instead, and made it my mission to SHINE bright and live true to myself. Yes, we were trained to abandon ourselves to try to survive the nightmare of attracting narcissistic envy and rage.
This is so true! You hit the nail on the head. And now, it's time to rebel, even in our fifties or sixties. It's never too late; there is always time to start honoring ourselves. I recently found out my mom is narcissistic (thanks to Terri Cole since my own therapist never brought it up), and I am finally doing the things that I normally would have done when I was a teenager. This video feels like a good how-to-start guide!
Hi, terry, your video inspired me so much .i am 62 years I sabotaged my life through destructive behaviour and most of the time I felt depressed,because of my age I thought my life is finish but when I listened to your affirmation , I am happy and grateful that there is always enough time to change what ever needs to be changed , that had a big impact on me . I have so many problems and never realised that I don't love myself at all. I have so much love empathy for others I thought that's enough. I feel very hopeful now . thank you 😊
Terri Cole Real Love Revolution I'm totally the girl who says " oh thanks I totally fkd that up .. but thank you . " - and I've attracted abusive partners .
The part about making excuses about my success hit home...I always say I am lucky, blessed and I don't know how I deserve this or that.... now I will say WOW - look at all the benefits I have from my hard work and integrity!
Hi Teri! I ve just discovered you! I love the way you present things and what you talk about I ve pre ordered your book about boundries as I really suffer with luck of them Greatings from windy North Wales in UK Thank you
You are just amazing! I love you. I felt like I knew a lot about this- you blew my mind and heart wide open! “No one can love you authentically if they do not know who you really are.” Also, on humility, you had me cracking up: “most of us have mastered the crap out of that.” 😂🙏🌈
You are the best! I dont love myself, I thrive on pleasing others and then I get the worst. No one remembers anything good I did. My mom thinks that I cant do enough. I will try to love myself more.
after years of seeking to heal myself, I finally got my toxic mother's voice out of my head. Now, I'm learning to love myself. It's not easy after being raised to feel ashamed of myself and not good enough. I have been no contact for a few years now , with one short reconnection where I realized that I was correct to reinstate no contact again, this time in order to focus on my healing. At times, it feels overwhelming so I listen to your videos and others along the same lines. I used to feel like a huge walking wound just broken and lost. Now I know that I'm on the path to being fully healed and self partnered. THANK YOU for your important, valuable, life saving work helping people like me to know there is hope and healing if we choose it. You are a huge blessing to all of us
Thanks for your kind note. It warms my heart to think my work is helping you. I LOVE "self-partnered" as a goal because that is exactly what a healthy relationship to self is. Thank you for being here with us
Even 2 yrs after you posted this video Terri, loving myself and practicing every day how to love myself even more still and will forever be appreciated of your words of wisdom, affirmation and confirmation to be my best!! Thank you so much! May God continue to shower you with blessings, abundance amd peace!!
taking responsibility for your happiness, just went on vacation and usually please husband and stay near a pier so he can fish, this time I stayed where I wanted with a lazy river and hot tub and took care of myself and my happiness for a change, felt good, loved myself, thank you.
Hi Terri, you are awesome, Thankyou for sharing your love, I'm 53, and absolutely love that I've found you on my journey in life. Your the first person I've found that really breaks things down to an understanding that is so simply understood and that's so complex in all it's forms. Thank you so much, will always listen to your videos in my quest to show real love to myself and others. Sending you lots of love . It's clear the universe is giving back the love you give to others🙂xxx
It is my belief psychologists really need to take a page out of this woman. She seriously knows what she's talking about. She breathes, she has delivery, she knows her shit and yet is calm. Seriously, i feel like when i walk into a room the 60mins count down has begun and i'm more weary they will charge me thrice what i'm paying for. Quality ppl! I really wish i lived abroad you would so be my psychologist.
Thank you for your great videos. I have had bulimia for last 8 years and really had a battle with myself, my own self talk, all the voices and boundaries in my head. In January 2018 I went to 4 months addiction treatment therefore I started to drink alcohol to hide and cover the pain from bulimia. I started my journey two years ago and now I am here, started to running and had run my first half maraton in my life, got promoted in new job, not drinking at all. Happy and respinsible for my own life, independet from other’s help. I am still having some issues with the food but sometimes I just cannot see the bigger picture of the progress. Your videos are very inspiring and helpful. Thank you for your job.
You have come so far and I hope you continue to be proud of your progress. Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad to hear it's resonating with you. I am cheering you on as you keep going and keep focusing on your health.
Follow The Blood Type Diet by Peter D'Adamo...not really a "diet. It's a guide to your best life by eating the foods for your Blood Type. Awesome...saved my life!
Terri, thank you for this powerful reminder about self love. There are a lot of home truths in this video. I used to be a people pleaser, running around attending to family n friends but constantly ignoring myself n my needs. I live with a family of Narcissists who expect me to drop everything n attend to their needs first. I'm a recovering Codependent n learning to love myself. Very important advice here. LOVE YOUR ADVICE XXX.
SO beautiful AND touching. I was always told to love myself first, didn’t know what or how to do this. I simply LOVE it when you say there is always time to change what needs to be changed. Usually people say oh but I am too old, like my mum said the other day. Huge thanks dear Terri. Am cleaning my house, which I do not enjoy, but listening to your wonderful videos makes the job so much more pleasant. 🙏❤️🙏
Great video Teri! It really hit home. I've been doing the mirroring and being nicer to myself when I make sure mistake. Which I don't think I have ever done before. It's all good stuff. I'm feeling better already. I wish I would have discovered all of these things about me sooner. But better late than never. I'm in the process of trying to split up with my Narc wife but she made my life so miserable after I filed for divorce I stopped the process. Now I'm just coexisting with her even though she is content. But one day I will be strong enough to go through with it and lead the life I was meant to live. Thanks do much!
I started following you after a interview with Gabby Bernstein. I am sure the Universe brought you into my life ... and this video ... and the most perfect time. I have been struggling with having a tough conversation with my husband. I definitely have the 'disease to please'. I have forgot who I am and what I truly want. I've become a bittttter person towards my husband it it rubs off on so much more. 'I am willing to be uncomfortable' I WILL speak my TRUTH! Thank you. I look forward to many more of your talks, meditations and I'd like to read your book as well. Thank you!
Thank you Terri for doing this service to society.. the internet has so many distortions of human behavior and psychology, its good to hear a bluntly real, honest and refreshing perspective like in your videos.
OMG! I've had the disease to please all my life. It's true, I have little idea what I actually want and like because it's easier to rely on others to tell me. It gives me some sort of direction. You opened my eyes. Thank you so much.
I have to say I love your videos. We all really do need to love the self. I was never loved correctly and became codependent. you are a treasure to hurting souls and I want to thank you for. the bottom of my heart. I am so glad that you found love in your life. God bless you!
Thanks for this great food for thought and action!!! Really gives me hope to heal and move forward in my life. Looking forward to learning more....😉❤Marie R.
First of all, I must say how grateful I am for this channel you have created. For some time now I have been soul searching and trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I have worked hard getting to know myself and learning from my mistakes. After every brake up I would Google the phycologically reason why I would feel the emotions I felt. However, after discovering many areas I needed to grow I have realized this is my main issue. I do a great job at hiding not loving myself. However, after loosing 120 pounds I really had a change of mind and started to see life from a much healthier point of view. I have a long way to go but thank you for sharing so much information. Every thing makes perfect sense now. I really appreciate you.
🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏🏿Thanks God.❤️Thank you, Terri.🌹You are a gift.🎁Good Presence are better than any store bought presents any day!💝 Thank you for making our Lives, this world, and the future a better place!✅✅ Thank you for being gentle while being 100% honest and for coaching us in the right direction to change & improve ourselves to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be! So Awesome!💯 I look forward to the future and excited to transform. Let the healing begin.🌱 ❤️Love♥️, ✨Light✨, and 🙏🏿🙏🏽🙏🏻Blessings🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏🏿 Always in All Ways, ~Joanna Aimee ✌🏼😎✨
I like what you say. I was raised to feel ashamed of myself by my parents, they wanted to make sure I didn't get too proud. Even deeper than that, Im not worthy of having the things I want most in life, and I don't mean material things. I want to learn.
Thank you for this video! I'm going to try to mirror exercise for 21 days. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm driving myself crazy and it's gotten to the point where I just tell people, "Yeah I'm going crazy." But you made me realize that by doing this, I am in fact accepting my crazy. That voice in my head isn't going away because I'm giving it life. Thank you so much! I'm going to work on a new affirmation today!
Carsons mom here. Even though I dabble in design.. I will do something that I KNOW looks beautiful. And.. if I send a pic of it and someone says *Thats beautiful*.. I have trouble not critiquing what doesnt look perfect. Or feel if I say thank you.. Im being selfish or a bragger. But Im learning to be confident in my accomplishments/talents
I really needed this today. My inner voice is so critical of my physical body. I’m really tired of feeling bad about my appearance because I’m not the size society accepts as attractive. I’m doing some mirror work but I really like the writing idea so I have a reminder every morning to prioritize positive talk. Thank you!
Wow, some things really resonate with me, like not being able to be proud of how hard I worked to get myself through my education and other career moves. I definitely need to work on that. I'd love it if I could go out, apply for a new job and tell them how wonderful I am! Not feeling like a fake, but genuinely telling them how wonderful I am. Something else I need to work on is to start blaming others. This may sound contradictory to your advice, but I always made excuses for my parents for boycotting my education. Now I realize; it wasn't because I did something wrong. It was because of their selfish motives that I didn't go to college. Thank you, Terri. You are helping me so much. I live in the Netherlands, so your words go far away!
Hi Mrs Cole, my name is Sabine and I live in Toronto, Canada. I just discovered your channel. Thank you very much for this video. I am on my own journey of self-love and I am going to therapy. It is very helpful and painful but I am willing to do the work. I am grateful for your content. Sabine.
He will be broken without me My girl will be broken I’m his strength n he as well for me From the age 21 I was with him n till today I’m happy I’m ready happy with him n this love is more for me n I’m satisfied with this I really respect u n ur words n ur advice n the love n care that u have for me I feel like I’m blessed to have u all I leave this to God Thank u to all u are simply wonderful u are doing wonderful things on ppl brings happiness n love for them I pray to god to bless u all even more with all his blessings from the heaven on ur good work as well as on u n ur family n ur friends let u all have the love of god n grace over u all With so much of love thank u
Im so glad I found your channel!! I keep self sabotaging and sabotaging my relationship with my boyfriend (who has been very understanding) because of insecurities and I tend to drink as a coping mechanism which only intensifies the negative thinking. I only do this when he is not around, mostly through text. When we are together, we get along great and it's always a nice time together. I have been in emotionally abusive relationships, but he is not like that at all. It's like I can't accept that i finally found someone worthy of me and i keep thinking i am not worthy of him
I am witnessing you with compassion. Now that you have more awareness you can choose how you want to respond. You can choose your old patterns or you can observe yourself with curiosity about what this is bringing up for you.
@@terri_cole Thank you.. I have been dealing with this for a while and I've been trying to change it. I've been used and manipulated in the past as well and I think that may be part of it. In fact, it happened shortly before I met my bf. I thought this person cared about me and it turned out he was using me for sex. It was something I was not proud of in the first place because I worked with this person and he was married. Of course he said that wasnt going well 🙄 I havent told my bf about that and I dont know if I should. Maybe it would help clarify things for me? I just know the hardest part of this is putting down the drink. I want to stop but it is so hard. I only act this way and feel those negative things when I drink. I am implementing the steps you talked about in your video. Loving myself has to come first and foremost
@@terri_cole and the worst part is I always feel worse about myself when I come back to my senses after saying the most ridiculous things to my bf. That is no good..how can I love myself if I cant stop this cycle 😔
I listened to you and found it very helpful, im at a really low low and it feels so scary to be riddled with such insecurity and negative self esteem at this point in my life. Ive done alot on the outside but internally im in shambles. ive been sifting thru youtube and nothing resonated but you sound genuine and are a beautiful woman inside and out. im hoping to learn how to navigate these terrible feelings and feel better. thank you.
Just found you today and I appreciate your gift and for sharing. I often complain I can't settle to relax my mind but after watching this video, your stop auto over accommodating video and hearing you say if you have an ass and a couch you can meditate. Love it! I certainly received some new tools today and look forward to future videos.
7 years ago. I’m am catching up with all your shares Terri. So grateful for your knowledge, AUTHENTICITY! 💛🤍⚡️, and wisdom. Thank you from Cooroy, Australia. XO
Terri, This is so fabulous!! I'm so glad you have shared such resonating strategies to help you learn to love yourself. From self talk to public talk to mirror talk...it's so important to appreciate yourself, validate your emotions and feelings and see the value of what you do. I will share this video elsewhere because it is very powerful and I appreciate your words of wisdom.
Thanks so much Dawn! PS: Join us for a weekly live stream and ask me ANY questions We just launched our waiting list for The Real Love Revolution, lots of free gifts and a free private Facebook Group ( just for women ) Click her to join for free: www.terricole.com/RLR So happy to be on this journey with you
The disease to please, oh thank you. I'm trying to build myself up again, and get to love myself. I had several bad relationships and am trying to love myself, being self care and self love. So that later I can be in a healthy and happy relationship.
Thank you very much for your motivation I pleases other people and forgetting about myself, and people turn to take advantage of that😢 I am always hurt because of that and always thinking if I love too much I will get the same back😢
I appreciate your authenticity & being down to earth. You are not a typical therapist who has not done the work & who speaks from a soap box. Thank you🌻💖
I am riveted by what you are saying. Everything you say has such relevance for me and such depth. Not a wasted word. I am so grateful to you and to have found your website, blog. It is like looking in a mirror, seeing reality and receiving support for the things that cause me pain and struggle.
Thanks for breaking this down!! So many people seem to think loving yourself is just getting your nails done or something and that just hasn't been enough for me.lol
So great! I love Leslie (she is the sister of my best friend ;) PS: Join us for a weekly live stream and ask me ANY questions We just launched our waiting list for The Real Love Revolution, lots of free gifts and a free private Facebook Group ( just for women ) Click her to join for free: www.terricole.com/RLR Whoot! So happy to be on this journey with you Patti!
Thank you so much I’ve been struggling a lot with loving myself because of the issues in the relationship, I’ve struggled with self love before the relationship but its even worse now being in one because I cannot take criticism or be real enough for the relationship to grow. I feel like I’m not worthy sometimes of love when I make mistakes or when I upset her. I am glad i came across this video thank you soo much!
This resonated with me. I didn’t know self care, self love could also look like this. Some of these things I’ve learned to move past, but I’m still a work in progress. Thank you for this!
I saw how "not to love" myself by watching how my ex-husband narc "loved" me. He taught me well. I don't have to put up with anyone who thinks they can abuse me. I treat other people well--I'm a people. I need love, too. I learned how to love people. Thanks, Steven :-)
Terry I love your videos!!! Thank you your voice is so calming and you are so reassuring and it feels like you a a great guide /teacher .Thank you for your clarity ,instruction and wisdom .
I can say such extremely harsh things to myself. If I own the words I say in my head, some are life threatening. I think someone else's use of words infiltrated my head. When I was a child and my mum became angry or sad, she would say to me, 'if I died, you wouldn't feel any sorrow for me" - (makes me sad to recall those memories). It was her habit. Now, when I get bogged down, I say to myself stuff like 'you should just disappear'. I picked up this habit long ago. I am looking for ways to change. Thank you for your video. It makes me want to work to change that habit. I like the idea of affirmations.
Good insight! That voice in your head is NOT even you. So commit to treating yourself with the kindness and compassion you would a five year old child you adore and your life will transform. Thank you for being here.
I love this video - what I struggle with the most - is feeling angry all the time in the experience of conducting the mental interaction with boundary setting with others to produce within myself my worthiness that my choices that I make are indeed allowed, and to be respected. I feel like I'm in constant psychological warfare with my mother or lover , and it has kept me in poverty financially because I'm always having to process the latest battle with their bs in their behaviours of basic attempts of retaliation away , of me creating my boundary choices. I have so many other areas like my career and money and my kids future that my focus energy needs to be put toward , but I'm always depleted because of the above constant warfare . I don't seem to know how to do it , Terri with your calm self loving awareness way ! I do use affirmation, in my tools , and it really does help a tremendous lot! But it's still a battle , where it seems I get rocked and smacked in the face by life experiences - that it's a battle to keep self love experience flowing
I hear you, Joanna! Maybe re-frame the situations with your mother and your lover FROM needing to convince them of something to NOT. If you draw a boundary you can share your reason but that is totally different than trying to convince either one of them that you have a right to have the boundary, ya know? Keep up the good work!!
I ended yet another abusive relationship a few years ago and have been alone since... healing and trying to understand the programming I've been operating from since childhood. Doing so unconsciously. I came from very toxic abusive home, both parents were cluster B and so was older sister and grandparents. Naturally I attracted these type of partners. Last guy would tell me everyday what a worthless piece of garbage I was. I know that's not true. My young daughter and my pets sure value me, I'm the caretaker and provider and I know I'm doing a fabulous job with that. My job seems to appreciate and value me as well. I know my ex was projecting his unwanted feelings about himself onto me. Now that I'm aware I'll never allow it again. I'm treating myself kindly and with love. I'm finding so much peace being on my own. I'm finally healing and taking good care of myself. I cut contact with all those who did not support or value me and I don't miss them. Feels good. Very freeing. No more people pleasing ever again.
Thank you for sharing your story here, and I'm witnessing you. I'm so glad to hear you're treating yourself kindly, setting some boundaries and starting to see your value. I am cheering you on!
I'm so glad the content is resonating and you're able to identify these areas. There's already so much self-awareness and growth in this first step! I'm happy you're here ❤️
For most of us our formative years lacked any true value and respect from our guardians ... Instead we were not seen or heard and were taught that outer behaviour was important ...not what we felt
Hi Terri Your a awesome lady in this community. I like the mirror thing. I did the same. It sayes Hi Beautiful, Your awesome! I love it. It made me feel good to look at it. Thank you very much.💗💗💗
I've always felt that no one loves me since i was 5 years .and now am 30 years old feeling the same because am not pretty like other girls in my family and because of my mother ,she kept saying am ugly and am not like other girls am just lesser ,until now she is bring it to my face "you are ugly and no man will marry you " .... and i kept my self to my self no friends or relative s just go to my job get back home ,doing my hobbies and sleep ,and don't want to be in relationship with any man even sometime i wish if got married but then i remember what if he think and say am ugly ,,i don't have any place in my hart to get a shot and heart again .
@@terri_cole Thank you, Hopefully good input for you. Your message has great appeal to my journey beyond the gender/relationship line, am applying it to the whole of life's relationships, encounters, interactions...
Your a wonderful person with a kind hart. This thing with me is that in my head those words are very logic and wonderful, but i can not feel it because I feel nothing as if i don't exist. But than you anyway.
''' if you have a low opinion of yourself, you will attract someone who agrees with that opinion ''' need to pin this on my wall...
Saying it like this gave me the message I needed.
Amen Terri Cole! Thank you!
“We need to learn brag in a healthy way”
Oh Lawdy, she’s right. 🙏
Video point outs - AVOID: Negative self-talk, negative public talk, don't be humble out of fear. Self love creates self esteem. One of the most important thing is to create boundaries. Be authentic. Stand up for yourself! You are worthy just by existing. Accept responsibility for your happiness, and stop blaming others (their opinion about you doesn't matter, it's merely projection of their own beliefs.) Keep affirmations simple. Challenge yourself with 21 days mirror work with positive affirmations!
Lovorka
At 68, I need to write (have written by someone) a book? Believe we all should write the TRUTH or our history (existence) should be documented. I lived in narcissistic Abuse, when it had no name, when speaking up about it made you feel “whats wrong with ME ?” Now my 2 sons are in Narcissistic Abuse and their children, they adore, are tools used to manipulate them. I spent the last 15 years of my life as full time nanny to Grandchildren. I made Mommy’s sacrifices, but also was Blessed w their Love. Thing “is”, now (last 2 the parents both stay home since they get more money than working , its accepting as if I never existed in their Lives. Im poor and need counselling, unfortunately I’ve found that money, to others replaces
God. Narcissists are only happy when they are deceiving, receiving or just plAin fooling you. Its their “high”. How does an Empath see all this and know ... yet put this out of mind n heart? ? I have Grandchildren whose very existence is in hands of Narcissists Mothers who “they” parent ..or are used as tools. There was NO maternal bonding. The Answer ? Its in God’s Hands. If only the Fathers weren’t prisoners and recognized its a Generational Trauma and the Narcissists aren’t the victim because their Daddy’s or Mommy’s didnt Love. Title of a book ? Lies that steal Lives ? Diaries of a Dumb Blonde.? I’ve lived the lie, because the Children would be hurt knowing the Truth. I’ve protected the narcs deceptions, lying and stealing and their falseness when “someone was looking”. When I suggest or address the Truth, getting help, Im discarded. Paying their consequences almost made me Homeless, in a couple years the victims of Domestic theft could be
Homeless, I can’t stop it. Who would believe “His Mother” or the Mother in Law ?
Gm mama gm
Love this so much. Ah, so beautifully said ' If you have a low opinion of yourself, you will attract someone who agrees with you.' 'You are worthy because you exist.'
I cried! I cried, by listening to you. You touched a very sensitive nerve for me. I love your matter of fact attitude, I do! I'm guilty of not fully and authentically loving myself, Im a people pleaser, I to lovers who don't respect my boundaries, and in return I become hateful and vindictive.
I will begin a new. I will look at myself and remind me of who Im suppose to be. I appreciate your advice respectfully.
I love these videos, thank you for your time.
Dee-
I totally feel you and am so happy you're here. Self love is a journey and sometimes all you need is a great coach (and lucky you cuz you have me ;) Please make sure to sign up for free gifts and weekly live stream with me by signing up for the waiting list for the Real Love Revolution here www.terricole.com/rlr then join our private, girls only FB group here : facebook.com/groups/RealLoveRevolution/members/
Dee, thats how I react, I always say yes, then I resent them and get angry with them, I am trying to change and I say NO, now when I mean no and I feel ok with it, I dont guilt myself out anymore...reading John Bradshaw's book "Healing The Shame That Binds You" John, outlines in baby steps, how to change negative self-talk into loving positive self-talk...we are each worthy of loving ourselves.
Terri Cole Real Love Revolution thank you so much my love! Being a fatherless young lady, I was looking everywhere to not let my circumstances dictate the course of my life. I am learning how to love myself at this point. So grateful for your videos and channel.
You have some great ideas
Your such an encouragement to me ♡♡ my self love has been buried too deep for too long.....i never knew where to begin because i put the ones i loved before me, thinking they would appreciate my selfless giving.......i was wrong. I needed to etep back in my life and begin to learn WHO and WHAT i was and wanted for myself....i had to begin to like myself as i never knew. i was at a level of putting others needs before my own at my expense......now, with your clear talk that im resinating with i see patterns that i find unhealthy and too minimizing of all that i have done for family and others... i have been going crazy feeling i needed to prove myself to my family mostly without the positive feedback i should have been getting from them, honestly.........i bent over backwards without as much as a Thank You...it was if i owed them my loyalty and they didnt appreciate all that i sacrificed......now, with the perfect words I needed to hear is so timely, and is having such a positive self-realization that ive needed for myself.. ♡ Thanks so much for your insight....Im so looking forward to hearing more videos from you and sharing your message ♡ Love your messages of encouragement so much ♡♡
It all starts with self compassion which is why inner child work is so useful. Once you realize you’re berating a child, it creates powerful motivation to stop.
Yes! ❤️
Thank you Terry. I love you already 😘 Am a survivor of a narcissistic mother and father. Am currently still living in their house and it is HELL! Literally. Am organising my finances so that I can move out and NEVER return. So, thank you for letting me know that I am not alone and that there's nothing wrong with cutting contact completely with abusive toxic people. Sending you much love and light. 😀😇
This still resonates 6 years later ❤
After selfhate for more than 50 years (narcissist mother and 2 violent boyfriends), now you can read on my mirror: "I love myself, I forgive myself all my mistakes!" 💖💭💗💞👑👏🕊
LOVE. THIS.
xoxoxoxo
Mireille Claire 🤗💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 good for you !!!! PLEASE treat yourself right 🌷
My mirror says "I am enough".
Wish I could reach this after life long abuse and a partner who brainwashed my kids against me I feel unbearable deep hurt I can't fix
So true! That is probably the main reason why the majority of relationships fail.We tend to love our partners more than ourselves thinking that is how to have them respect us and love us.That is not the case! We have to set boundaries and put our needs and ourselves first or others will use us as a doormat!
Right on Janet! Thank you for sharing!
Your videos are saving my life, thank you. I searched RUclips once I "woke up" to what I was dealing with.
Happy to help, and I'm glad you're here.
GREAT advice! After a lifetime of a malignant narcissist mom speaking to me with contempt, hatred, disdain - I would treat others so much nicer than the way I'd speak to myself. Isn't that odd? Yet, it makes so much sense. When someone like a hateful mom, makes it her mission in life to make sure that you hate yourself as much as she hates herself - if feels normal, "familiar-familial' to speak to ourselves the same way. My mother was a sadist, she was a despicable person who loved to see pain, fear, humiliation in my face - and whatever talents I had she made sure to kill any pride I took in my accomplishments. Narcissists will not have anyone outshining them, in any way. So it's not hard to understand why we play down our accomplishments. We were too afraid to stand out in any way for fear of the reign of Hell that was about to come down on us from a jealous narcissist. I wish I'd rebelled instead, and made it my mission to SHINE bright and live true to myself. Yes, we were trained to abandon ourselves to try to survive the nightmare of attracting narcissistic envy and rage.
Thank you for sharing your story here with us, Julia. I am sending you so much compassion for your healing journey ;)
This is so true! You hit the nail on the head. And now, it's time to rebel, even in our fifties or sixties. It's never too late; there is always time to start honoring ourselves.
I recently found out my mom is narcissistic (thanks to Terri Cole since my own therapist never brought it up), and I am finally doing the things that I normally would have done when I was a teenager. This video feels like a good how-to-start guide!
Hi, terry, your video inspired me so much .i am 62 years I sabotaged my life through destructive behaviour and most of the time I felt depressed,because of my age I thought my life is finish but when I listened to your affirmation , I am happy and grateful that there is always enough time to change what ever needs to be changed , that had a big impact on me . I have so many problems and never realised that I don't love myself at all. I have so much love empathy for others I thought that's enough. I feel very hopeful now . thank you 😊
Warms my heart to hear it, Monika. I'm so happy you are here and on this journey towards self love xoxo
monika schelinsky thanks to share this I send you love you made my day
Your second half could be your best half!
Loved the part about not needing to be humble. What's wrong with saying you're great? Nothing! Such an inspiring video
Taryn,
Exactly!! thank you for your comment and for being here xo
Terri Cole Real Love Revolution I'm totally the girl who says " oh thanks I totally fkd that up .. but thank you . " - and I've attracted abusive partners .
The part about making excuses about my success hit home...I always say I am lucky, blessed and I don't know how I deserve this or that.... now I will say WOW - look at all the benefits I have from my hard work and integrity!
Hi Teri! I ve just discovered you! I love the way you present things and what you talk about I ve pre ordered your book about boundries as I really suffer with luck of them Greatings from windy North Wales in UK Thank you
You are just amazing! I love you. I felt like I knew a lot about this- you blew my mind and heart wide open! “No one can love you authentically if they do not know who you really are.” Also, on humility, you had me cracking up: “most of us have mastered the crap out of that.” 😂🙏🌈
I cried during the whole video....”I am lovable simply because I exist”!!!Thank you so much!!!!
You are the best! I dont love myself, I thrive on pleasing others and then I get the worst. No one remembers anything good I did. My mom thinks that I cant do enough. I will try to love myself more.
after years of seeking to heal myself, I finally got my toxic mother's voice out of my head. Now, I'm learning to love myself. It's not easy after being raised to feel ashamed of myself and not good enough. I have been no contact for a few years now , with one short reconnection where I realized that I was correct to reinstate no contact again, this time in order to focus on my healing. At times, it feels overwhelming so I listen to your videos and others along the same lines.
I used to feel like a huge walking wound just broken and lost. Now I know that I'm on the path to being fully healed and self partnered. THANK YOU for your important, valuable, life saving work helping people like me to know there is hope and healing if we choose it. You are a huge blessing to all of us
Thanks for your kind note. It warms my heart to think my work is helping you. I LOVE "self-partnered" as a goal because that is exactly what a healthy relationship to self is. Thank you for being here with us
Even 2 yrs after you posted this video Terri, loving myself and practicing every day how to love myself even more still and will forever be appreciated of your words of wisdom, affirmation and confirmation to be my best!! Thank you so much! May God continue to shower you with blessings, abundance amd peace!!
taking responsibility for your happiness, just went on vacation and usually please husband and stay near a pier so he can fish, this time I stayed where I wanted with a lazy river and hot tub and took care of myself and my happiness for a change, felt good, loved myself, thank you.
YES!!! Woohoooo!!!!
YOU are WORTHY simply because you EXIST ❤❤❤
Yes indeed! 💕
Hi Terri, you are awesome, Thankyou for sharing your love, I'm 53, and absolutely love that I've found you on my journey in life. Your the first person I've found that really breaks things down to an understanding that is so simply understood and that's so complex in all it's forms. Thank you so much, will always listen to your videos in my quest to show real love to myself and others. Sending you lots of love . It's clear the universe is giving back the love you give to others🙂xxx
“You’re worthy simply because you exist”😭🤍
Yessssss! Take that in!
It is my belief psychologists really need to take a page out of this woman. She seriously knows what she's talking about. She breathes, she has delivery, she knows her shit and yet is calm. Seriously, i feel like when i walk into a room the 60mins count down has begun and i'm more weary they will charge me thrice what i'm paying for. Quality ppl! I really wish i lived abroad you would so be my psychologist.
Thank you for your kind words. They really mean a lot to me. And thank you for being here with us.
Thank you for your great videos. I have had bulimia for last 8 years and really had a battle with myself, my own self talk, all the voices and boundaries in my head. In January 2018 I went to 4 months addiction treatment therefore I started to drink alcohol to hide and cover the pain from bulimia. I started my journey two years ago and now I am here, started to running and had run my first half maraton in my life, got promoted in new job, not drinking at all. Happy and respinsible for my own life, independet from other’s help. I am still having some issues with the food but sometimes I just cannot see the bigger picture of the progress. Your videos are very inspiring and helpful. Thank you for your job.
You have come so far and I hope you continue to be proud of your progress. Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad to hear it's resonating with you. I am cheering you on as you keep going and keep focusing on your health.
Follow The Blood Type Diet by Peter D'Adamo...not really a "diet. It's a guide to your best life by eating the foods for your
Blood Type. Awesome...saved my life!
Thank you Terry, may God bless you.
Terri, thank you for this powerful reminder about self love. There are a lot of home truths in this video. I used to be a people pleaser, running around attending to family n friends but constantly ignoring myself n my needs. I live with a family of Narcissists who expect me to drop everything n attend to their needs first. I'm a recovering Codependent n learning to love myself. Very important advice here. LOVE YOUR ADVICE XXX.
“If you don’t truly know yourself, you cannot truly love yourself.” Profound.
❤️
omg I love you Terri. This is just what I needed for my healing journey. Thank you
I'm so glad this resonated for you, Shaunda! ❤️
SO beautiful AND touching. I was always told to love myself first, didn’t know what or how to do this. I simply LOVE it when you say there is always time to change what needs to be changed. Usually people say oh but I am too old, like my mum said the other day. Huge thanks dear Terri. Am cleaning my house, which I do not enjoy, but listening to your wonderful videos makes the job so much more pleasant. 🙏❤️🙏
No one is ever too old to change and evolve ❤️ So glad to hear I'm making cleaning a little more enjoyable for you!
@@terri_cole🙏
Great video Teri! It really hit home. I've been doing the mirroring and being nicer to myself when I make sure mistake. Which I don't think I have ever done before. It's all good stuff. I'm feeling better already. I wish I would have discovered all of these things about me sooner. But better late than never. I'm in the process of trying to split up with my Narc wife but she made my life so miserable after I filed for divorce I stopped the process. Now I'm just coexisting with her even though she is content. But one day I will be strong enough to go through with it and lead the life I was meant to live. Thanks do much!
So afraid to threaten other people! This resonates thank you ❤️💫
I started following you after a interview with Gabby Bernstein. I am sure the Universe brought you into my life ... and this video ... and the most perfect time. I have been struggling with having a tough conversation with my husband. I definitely have the 'disease to please'. I have forgot who I am and what I truly want. I've become a bittttter person towards my husband it it rubs off on so much more. 'I am willing to be uncomfortable' I WILL speak my TRUTH! Thank you. I look forward to many more of your talks, meditations and I'd like to read your book as well. Thank you!
Thank you Terri. You emit so much knowledge and light. Deeply thank you.
Deep appreciation for your presence here with me ;)
Thank you Terri for doing this service to society.. the internet has so many distortions of human behavior and psychology, its good to hear a bluntly real, honest and refreshing perspective like in your videos.
You are so welcome ;)
Wow..the part where you talk about " Lucky and Blessed" really resonated with me. Such a small shift to say " thank you I worked so hard". Love it.
OMG! I've had the disease to please all my life. It's true, I have little idea what I actually want and like because it's easier to rely on others to tell me. It gives me some sort of direction. You opened my eyes. Thank you so much.
This woman is an angel from heaven. I love you Terri. Keep up the good work ma'am❣❣❣❣
So glad you're here, thanks for the encouragement :)
I didn't realise that not accepting compliments was avoiding responsibility, thanks xx
I have to say I love your videos. We all really do need to love the self. I was never loved correctly and became codependent. you are a treasure to hurting souls and I want to thank you for. the bottom of my heart. I am so glad that you found love in your life. God bless you!
Thank you Ms. Cole. This was amazing for me. I have made mistakes and been hurt; I am learning, however, my own agency. Thank you :-)
So glad it was helpful! ❤️
Thanks for this great food for thought and action!!! Really gives me hope to heal and move forward in my life. Looking forward to learning more....😉❤Marie R.
First of all, I must say how grateful I am for this channel you have created. For some time now I have been soul searching and trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I have worked hard getting to know myself and learning from my mistakes. After every brake up I would Google the phycologically reason why I would feel the emotions I felt. However, after discovering many areas I needed to grow I have realized this is my main issue. I do a great job at hiding not loving myself. However, after loosing 120 pounds I really had a change of mind and started to see life from a much healthier point of view. I have a long way to go but thank you for sharing so much information. Every thing makes perfect sense now. I really appreciate you.
Right on, Rosa!! Keep up the great work ;)
Rosa Montes de oca 3
🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏🏿Thanks God.❤️Thank you, Terri.🌹You are a gift.🎁Good Presence are better than any store bought presents any day!💝 Thank you for making our Lives, this world, and the future a better place!✅✅ Thank you for being gentle while being 100% honest and for coaching us in the right direction to change & improve ourselves to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be! So Awesome!💯 I look forward to the future and excited to transform. Let the healing begin.🌱
❤️Love♥️, ✨Light✨, and 🙏🏿🙏🏽🙏🏻Blessings🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏🏿 Always in All Ways, ~Joanna Aimee ✌🏼😎✨
I like what you say. I was raised to feel ashamed of myself by my parents, they wanted to make sure I didn't get too proud. Even deeper than that, Im not worthy of having the things I want most in life, and I don't mean material things. I want to learn.
Linda,
You deserve to learn AND build a life you love! I'm so glad you're here xo
Thank you for this video! I'm going to try to mirror exercise for 21 days. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm driving myself crazy and it's gotten to the point where I just tell people, "Yeah I'm going crazy." But you made me realize that by doing this, I am in fact accepting my crazy. That voice in my head isn't going away because I'm giving it life. Thank you so much! I'm going to work on a new affirmation today!
Right on , Dennis!!
Carsons mom here. Even though I dabble in design.. I will do something that I KNOW looks beautiful. And.. if I send a pic of it and someone says *Thats beautiful*.. I have trouble not critiquing what doesnt look perfect. Or feel if I say thank you.. Im being selfish or a bragger. But Im learning to be confident in my accomplishments/talents
I really needed this today. My inner voice is so critical of my physical body. I’m really tired of feeling bad about my appearance because I’m not the size society accepts as attractive. I’m doing some mirror work but I really like the writing idea so I have a reminder every morning to prioritize positive talk. Thank you!
I am witnessing you with compassion and cheering you on for the work you're doing.
Wow, some things really resonate with me, like not being able to be proud of how hard I worked to get myself through my education and other career moves. I definitely need to work on that. I'd love it if I could go out, apply for a new job and tell them how wonderful I am! Not feeling like a fake, but genuinely telling them how wonderful I am.
Something else I need to work on is to start blaming others. This may sound contradictory to your advice, but I always made excuses for my parents for boycotting my education. Now I realize; it wasn't because I did something wrong. It was because of their selfish motives that I didn't go to college.
Thank you, Terri. You are helping me so much. I live in the Netherlands, so your words go far away!
I'm so glad you found this helpful ❤️ YES to applying for a new job and genuinely telling them how wonderful you are 🙌
Hi Mrs Cole, my name is Sabine and I live in Toronto, Canada. I just discovered your channel. Thank you very much for this video. I am on my own journey of self-love and I am going to therapy. It is very helpful and painful but I am willing to do the work. I am grateful for your content. Sabine.
Hi Sabine, thanks for being here ❤️ I'm so glad my content resonated, and I am witnessing you with compassion and cheering you on along your journey.
He will be broken without me
My girl will be broken
I’m his strength n he as well for me
From the age 21 I was with him n till today I’m happy I’m ready happy with him n this love is more for me n I’m satisfied with this
I really respect u n ur words n ur advice n the love n care that u have for me I feel like I’m blessed to have u all I leave this to God
Thank u to all u are simply wonderful u are doing wonderful things on ppl brings happiness n love for them
I pray to god to bless u all even more with all his blessings from the heaven on ur good work as well as on u n ur family n ur friends let u all have the love of god n grace over u all
With so much of love thank u
Im so glad I found your channel!! I keep self sabotaging and sabotaging my relationship with my boyfriend (who has been very understanding) because of insecurities and I tend to drink as a coping mechanism which only intensifies the negative thinking. I only do this when he is not around, mostly through text. When we are together, we get along great and it's always a nice time together. I have been in emotionally abusive relationships, but he is not like that at all. It's like I can't accept that i finally found someone worthy of me and i keep thinking i am not worthy of him
I am witnessing you with compassion. Now that you have more awareness you can choose how you want to respond. You can choose your old patterns or you can observe yourself with curiosity about what this is bringing up for you.
@@terri_cole Thank you.. I have been dealing with this for a while and I've been trying to change it. I've been used and manipulated in the past as well and I think that may be part of it. In fact, it happened shortly before I met my bf. I thought this person cared about me and it turned out he was using me for sex. It was something I was not proud of in the first place because I worked with this person and he was married. Of course he said that wasnt going well 🙄 I havent told my bf about that and I dont know if I should. Maybe it would help clarify things for me? I just know the hardest part of this is putting down the drink. I want to stop but it is so hard. I only act this way and feel those negative things when I drink. I am implementing the steps you talked about in your video. Loving myself has to come first and foremost
@@terri_cole and the worst part is I always feel worse about myself when I come back to my senses after saying the most ridiculous things to my bf. That is no good..how can I love myself if I cant stop this cycle 😔
Amazing talk... I'm gonna try and come back in 21 days.
I listened to you and found it very helpful, im at a really low low and it feels so scary to be riddled with such insecurity and negative self esteem at this point in my life. Ive done alot on the outside but internally im in shambles. ive been sifting thru youtube and nothing resonated but you sound genuine and are a beautiful woman inside and out. im hoping to learn how to navigate these terrible feelings and feel better. thank you.
You matter. Thank you for being here and watching. One step at a time, rebuilding your inner confidence. I am sending you light and strength, mama.
Just found you today and I appreciate your gift and for sharing. I often complain I can't settle to relax my mind but after watching this video, your stop auto over accommodating video and hearing you say if you have an ass and a couch you can meditate. Love it! I certainly received some new tools today and look forward to future videos.
Self love is a process and I am going to add mirror work to my journey work.
7 years ago. I’m am catching up with all your shares Terri. So grateful for your knowledge, AUTHENTICITY! 💛🤍⚡️, and wisdom. Thank you from Cooroy, Australia. XO
❤️❤️❤️
This is a fascinating and soooooo clearly articulated video!🎶Thank you for this 🙏
“You are worthy of your heart’s desire”. Love it❤️❤️. Self 💕 love 💕 thank you😘
Right on mama!!!!
Best coaching advice on meditation I’ve ever heard!🤣🤣🤣
Ps Terri - wow are you beautiful! I am an instant fan and admirer!
Terri, I see you being beautiful, authentic and wise.. you inspire me. Thank you for your honesty.. I am grateful for your good work. Thank you.
Aww thank you so much, Karen. I truly appreciate your presence here and so happy my work resonates with you xo
Terri,
This is so fabulous!! I'm so glad you have shared such resonating strategies to help you learn to love yourself. From self talk to public talk to mirror talk...it's so important to appreciate yourself, validate your emotions and feelings and see the value of what you do. I will share this video elsewhere because it is very powerful and I appreciate your words of wisdom.
Thanks so much Dawn!
PS:
Join us for a weekly live stream and ask me ANY questions
We just launched our waiting list for The Real Love Revolution,
lots of free gifts and a free private Facebook Group ( just for women )
Click her to join for free: www.terricole.com/RLR
So happy to be on this journey with you
My morning alarm is this- Good Morning Beautiful! 💙💄👗👛
I've seen like millions of videos about self love, and I can say that this the best one❤🙏🏼thank you
Thank you so much
I watched so many videos about this subject ,but this one has power and touched me deeply. Thank you for great work
I am so delighted to hear that, thank you for sharing.
The disease to please, oh thank you. I'm trying to build myself up again, and get to love myself. I had several bad relationships and am trying to love myself, being self care and self love. So that later I can be in a healthy and happy relationship.
I see you ❤️
You are very insightful. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much for your motivation
I pleases other people and forgetting about myself, and people turn to take advantage of that😢
I am always hurt because of that and always thinking if I love too much I will get the same back😢
I see you 💕 You might want to watch this video on self-abandonment as well: ruclips.net/video/D8M-q8CalSs/видео.html
No person is ever gonna love you enough - hard to swallow, but so true!
I appreciate your authenticity & being down to earth. You are not a typical therapist who has not done the work & who speaks from a soap box. Thank you🌻💖
Thank you for your kind words!!!
I am riveted by what you are saying. Everything you say has such relevance for me and such depth. Not a wasted word. I am so grateful to you and to have found your website, blog. It is like looking in a mirror, seeing reality and receiving support for the things that cause me pain and struggle.
Thanks for breaking this down!! So many people seem to think loving yourself is just getting your nails done or something and that just hasn't been enough for me.lol
Every time I take these minutes to tune into your linked offering--you find a place in me that needs touching. With thanks. p
We have a mutual pal who put me on to your work--Leslie Carr. Just wanted you to know I've been needing you and your work. P
So great! I love Leslie (she is the sister of my best friend ;) PS: Join us for a weekly live stream and ask me ANY questions
We just launched our waiting list for The Real Love Revolution,
lots of free gifts and a free private Facebook Group ( just for women )
Click her to join for free: www.terricole.com/RLR Whoot!
So happy to be on this journey with you Patti!
Thank you so much I’ve been struggling a lot with loving myself because of the issues in the relationship, I’ve struggled with self love before the relationship but its even worse now being in one because I cannot take criticism or be real enough for the relationship to grow. I feel like I’m not worthy sometimes of love when I make mistakes or when I upset her.
I am glad i came across this video thank you soo much!
You are absolutely worthy of love. Mistakes happen, forgive yourself. I'm witnessing you with compassion.
This resonated with me. I didn’t know self care, self love could also look like this.
Some of these things I’ve learned to move past, but I’m still a work in progress. Thank you for this!
You're welcome, and thank YOU for being here!
I saw how "not to love" myself by watching how my ex-husband narc "loved" me. He taught me well. I don't have to put up with anyone who thinks they can abuse me. I treat other people well--I'm a people. I need love, too. I learned how to love people. Thanks, Steven :-)
I used to speak so negative to me but now I speak positive to myself and I tell myself I love me. I’m still learning though
❤️❤️❤️
Yes.. very mean to self... try to remember we are unique
Terry I love your videos!!! Thank you your voice is so calming and you are so reassuring and it feels like you a a great guide /teacher .Thank you for your clarity ,instruction and wisdom .
I can say such extremely harsh things to myself. If I own the words I say in my head, some are life threatening.
I think someone else's use of words infiltrated my head. When I was a child and my mum became angry or sad, she would say to me, 'if I died, you wouldn't feel any sorrow for me" - (makes me sad to recall those memories). It was her habit.
Now, when I get bogged down, I say to myself stuff like 'you should just disappear'. I picked up this habit long ago.
I am looking for ways to change.
Thank you for your video. It makes me want to work to change that habit. I like the idea of affirmations.
Good insight! That voice in your head is NOT even you. So commit to treating yourself with the kindness and compassion you would a five year old child you adore and your life will transform. Thank you for being here.
Beautiful message thanks so much x blessings to you for caring and making my world a brighter place x
Thank you for being here! I appreciate you.
The wrapped gift analogy is good. Thank you Terri!
I love this video - what I struggle with the most - is feeling angry all the time in the experience of conducting the mental interaction with boundary setting with others to produce within myself my worthiness that my choices that I make are indeed allowed, and to be respected. I feel like I'm in constant psychological warfare with my mother or lover , and it has kept me in poverty financially because I'm always having to process the latest battle with their bs in their behaviours of basic attempts of retaliation away , of me creating my boundary choices. I have so many other areas like my career and money and my kids future that my focus energy needs to be put toward , but I'm always depleted because of the above constant warfare . I don't seem to know how to do it , Terri with your calm self loving awareness way !
I do use affirmation, in my tools , and it really does help a tremendous lot! But it's still a battle , where it seems I get rocked and smacked in the face by life experiences - that it's a battle to keep self love experience flowing
I hear you, Joanna! Maybe re-frame the situations with your mother and your lover FROM needing to convince them of something to NOT. If you draw a boundary you can share your reason but that is totally different than trying to convince either one of them that you have a right to have the boundary, ya know? Keep up the good work!!
I ended yet another abusive relationship a few years ago and have been alone since... healing and trying to understand the programming I've been operating from since childhood. Doing so unconsciously. I came from very toxic abusive home, both parents were cluster B and so was older sister and grandparents. Naturally I attracted these type of partners. Last guy would tell me everyday what a worthless piece of garbage I was. I know that's not true. My young daughter and my pets sure value me, I'm the caretaker and provider and I know I'm doing a fabulous job with that. My job seems to appreciate and value me as well. I know my ex was projecting his unwanted feelings about himself onto me. Now that I'm aware I'll never allow it again. I'm treating myself kindly and with love. I'm finding so much peace being on my own. I'm finally healing and taking good care of myself. I cut contact with all those who did not support or value me and I don't miss them. Feels good. Very freeing. No more people pleasing ever again.
Thank you for sharing your story here, and I'm witnessing you. I'm so glad to hear you're treating yourself kindly, setting some boundaries and starting to see your value. I am cheering you on!
😭u made me realize what I need to let go & heal from. 😔defensive & building my self worth & boundaries. 😭
I'm so glad the content is resonating and you're able to identify these areas. There's already so much self-awareness and growth in this first step! I'm happy you're here ❤️
Thank you for a great video about #selflove Terri. Love your honest no BS approach! Thank you!
David-I'm so happy this video resonated with you and thank you for being here!
Great ideas you are beautiful inside and out thank you for these tips.
For most of us our formative years lacked any true value and respect from our guardians ...
Instead we were not seen or heard and were taught that outer behaviour was important ...not what we felt
Terri your voice your persona brings healing as you speak Thank u
and God bless you much love xxxx
2018.. the year of Self Love for me. Thank you Terri. xo
You are better than my therapist!!
Terri, THANK YOU for your kind heart
Awww thanks for being here Karen! I appreciate your kind words xoxox
Amazing, wonderful advice! Helps so much!
I never dont accept compliments very well.
Hi Terri
Your a awesome lady in this community. I like the mirror thing. I did the same. It sayes Hi Beautiful,
Your awesome! I love it. It made me feel good to look at it. Thank you very much.💗💗💗
This is me, 1,000 percent. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You're welcome!
I've always felt that no one loves me since i was 5 years .and now am 30 years old feeling the same because am not pretty like other girls in my family and because of my mother ,she kept saying am ugly and am not like other girls am just lesser ,until now she is bring it to my face "you are ugly and no man will marry you " .... and i kept my self to my self no friends or relative s just go to my job get back home ,doing my hobbies and sleep ,and don't want to be in relationship with any man even sometime i wish if got married but then i remember what if he think and say am ugly ,,i don't have any place in my hart to get a shot and heart again .
Super grateful that I came across you on Facebook a couple days ago, thank you - for the first time in a long time I'm excited to work on self love.
wow Mandy-lee you just made my day! yes to SELF LOVE in 2017 mama!
I can not stop crying.. you justo made me realize so many things... thank you !!!
Denise,
I am so glad you are here and that the video resonated with you xo
I LOVED IT , I stumbled upon on of your videos of self help, You're fantastic, great help , great voice, great message!
If you get up on the wrong side of the bed, go back to bed... l love your down to earth delivery. Your message surpasses gender division. Thank you...
Thank you Tod. I'm glad you're here.
@@terri_cole Thank you, Hopefully good input for you. Your message has great appeal to my journey beyond the gender/relationship line, am applying it to the whole of life's relationships, encounters, interactions...
Your a wonderful person with a kind hart.
This thing with me is that in my head those words are very logic and wonderful, but i can not feel it because I feel nothing as if i don't exist. But than you anyway.