THIS Is Why Opposite Sex Friendships in Marriage are DANGEROUS!
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- Опубликовано: 1 авг 2022
- Is it a good idea for spouses to have opposite sex friends? If so, what are the healthy boundaries? How do you know when an opposite sex friendship might be toxic or damaging to your marriage? Finally, is it even possible for two people of the opposite sex to have a healthy platonic relationship?
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Hey BEAT family! Here is a clip from a marriage conference I spoke at with Mike Winger and Sean McDowell a little while back. I'll be uploading some of these clips over the next few weeks. Today's question is a really good practical one. Is it wise for married couples to have opposite sex friendships? Let me know your thoughts below! Thanks,
Believers, be disciples and keep growing, grow the Church.
1 Peter 3:15 👑
Matthew 28:16-20 💕
Why is everything about married people?
Why is this even an ‘issue’? Single people are told that they’re silly and idolatrous for thinking about marriage but this is these are the silly things married people ‘worry’ about.
Hypocrisy
@@blahblahblah4544 That isn't a issue as long as you pay attention to your wife. I know because I was one of the guys who ended up with married women.
ROBERT ATSUSHI FIRST RAPTURE EXPERIENCE VID
ruclips.net/video/Cwusmx_nbNA/видео.html
My wife and I have been married for nearly five years as of this writing. We both came into this marriage with opposite sex friends but soon afterwards we discussed ridding ourselves of them.
Truth be told my wife did a far better job at letting hers go than I did. As a result, drama ensued in our marriage those first couple years, especially as one by one each of the female friends that I’ve kept eventually did or said something that was as eye opening as it was inappropriate.
When I finally let these women go, my marriage began to grow a thousand times better, my wife and I became far more closer and intimate (all around intimacy not just sex), and in making her the sole woman to receive my attention I only fell more deeply in love with her and grew more aware and appreciative of how truly dope she is as a person.
While this is excellent advice, I would also recommend being careful with who you are friends with in general. Not everyone is rooting for your marriage to succeed.
Spot on! 🔥
💯
@@MarriageInsideOut I ask for God:
Have you EVR helped the Internet to become a better Place using RUclipss Flag-Option?
Se-ual content is just one of the report-otpions and i think we all know how sadly-easy it is to
find such content on YT and Tiktok. I hope you use them from time to time. It would help much if i knew i convinced someone to just spend 2-3 Minutes to search-up some problem-content and ask youtube to remove it. Like the famous hatepreacher Kent Hovind or the channel so clickbaity that they literally named themselves 'Clickbait TV'.
This is accurate in so many ways. You could do a whole video on this one comment. LOL! I am friends with both married men and women, and I am not having affairs with the men. It's all about people respecting boundaries and marriage. Ultimately, the married person has to draw the lines.
oh yes, this is so true
I have experience with this myself. My spouse got too close to a coworker and then turned into an affair. Everything you said is spot on.
Sorry that happen to you ❤️
I’m sorry to hear that how are you doing now
Unfortunately, workplace affairs are extremely prevalent.
@@RetroReno ye it’s sad how society is not all people are like that but many are sadly
Seriously hearing that stuff makes me feel sick I delt with stuff of the sort in the past not married but I know things like that stick with you for life I pray you find one appreciates you and is faithful to you 🙏🏾
I’m a married 27 year old woman. I always had male and female best friends. The males almost always caught feelings and sometimes I did too. My husband was a man who always had female and male friends. Once we got into a serious monogamous relationship we both ended those friendships after mutual understanding and agreement that they could be tempting and dangerous for our relationship. Fast forward 5 years we only have friends of the same sex. We both appreciate this and see it as a good thing because there are already so many things coming against marriage. We didn’t want to add to it. So y’all be wise about it . God bless ❤️👋🏽
Smart woman ❤️
If only I can find someone like this but the problem is not everyone has all the ability your looking for
@@klopcodez They don't have the desire. Few are saved. Few are true Christians.
There are fewer who are not Christians who do right in this area.
Give your life to Christ to make heaven your home. He will guide you. The Bible is His word.
@@abenaoseii She has a smart man, too.
Pray for wisdom and discernment. We believers try to act on things using our own power, we all know we will always fall short. Sincerely ask God to have the ability to handle difficulties and remember that those who seek will find especially if you do it with all your heart. Maranatha!
This is finding satisfaction outside of the marriage. Christ would not share His bride with anything else as a spouse should be of the same mindset. This must be addressed before marriage. It becomes a long road of healing otherwise for the person to let go of them or they let go of you, which happens more than the latter.
Exactly becaz if a born-again believer finds it difficult to let go, they are not ready for marriage!
That's horrible
Christ is your prime and (preferably) ONLY satisfaction.
Christ foretold of families splitting for Him
This evil world is making this sharing situation normal 😒and its demonic .
ruclips.net/video/YFj1TnaC11I/видео.html
ALLEN PARR BETRAYS FELLOW BROTHER AS HE KEEPS SILENT WHILE MARCUS ROGERS SLANDERS COLIN MILLER
I experienced this. My best friend was a male. We used to hang out and have lunch at work together all the time. Once he got married, he thought it was ok to continue calling me and having lunch together. I told him we cannot continue our relationship because I wanted to respect his wife and I did not want it to get back to his wife that he was seen having lunch with another woman.
very good!
I feel like any friend who WOULDN’T do what you did is off. It comes off as competitive. I’ve backed away from male friends whenever they were in relationships. I did not have any attraction to them but I didn’t want anything to be taken wrong.
THERE YOU GO
Today e female colleague who works in a club in the weekend and basically gives singns of interest since I started working there (not in the club) got ultra pissed because we had our lunch break at the same time and said I didn't eat alone with another woman. The whole team was shocked and started talking about it when I wasn't there
I don't care, I'm engaged and soon married God willing. Today, the same day, another colleague who's engaged invited a female colleague he's been hitting on for some time to go on a vacation with him, very seri8, and she said she's gonna think about it
Guys, don't bend in front of peer worldly pressure. Yes they know I'm Christian (the only one at work) and I told all the Muslims of my real, that includes my manager, that I believe that Islam is a lie, it was after they asked it tho and done with love and tact, but firmly
Stay rooted in Christ brothers and sisters, this is an everyday fight, God bless you all in Jesus Christ's name!
I understand and respect why you did what you did. There's nothing wrong with someone having an opposite sex best friend. If a man has a female best friend and the man gets married, the man's wife should then be the man's best friend. If a man has a female best friend and the man gets married, I think there's nothing wrong with the man still being friends with his female friend, but the 2 of them shouldn't be best friends anymore due to the man's wife being his best friend, and the man has to be careful about how he hangs out with his female friend due to him being married now.
Crazy..Just my opinion
Brother Allen trying to help people protect their marriages and integrity out here. Brothers and sisters, y’all better take heed-especially if you’re married or engaged. If that opposite sex friend is not better friends with your spouse than you, that person needs to be “re-prioritized” lol
Good stuff. Years ago, this almost got me into trouble. I had just lost my dad and was starving to talk with someone else who could relate. A longtime (married) female friend lost her mom around the same time, and she was more than willing to talk about it. Initially, everything seemed great. It was refreshing and encouraging.
But after a while, I grew increasingly uncomfortable with things. We were corresponding with each other way more than we should have. Our conversations were growing increasingly personal and we were starting to confide in each other about different things, including marital frustrations. At some point, I started to become very uncomfortable with everything. I knew that this was dishonoring to God and to our spouses. I realized that there was an unhealthy dependence that needed to be broken. So I told her that I didn't think we needed to keep corresponding like we were, apologizing for allowing it to get to that point. She came unglued. It was ugly. She started sending me these long emails that were honestly frightening. I was really concerned about what she might do. Thankfully, after a long period with no correspondence, she reached out just to apologize. I responded just to basically say "all forgiven...I'm sorry too", and that was the end of it.
That whole situation put a healthy fear in me. I'm now ministry and there are times when a woman will try to confide in me about various personal issues. My rule is very simple now. She can either 1) talk to my wife, 2) meet with both of us, 3) or talk with somebody else. I learned my lesson and I'm not getting into that kind of mess again.
Smart !
I couldn't agree more. After I got into a serious relationship with my now wife. I distanced myself from my friends who are women. Not at her request, but my choice to protect our relationship.
I know some people won't agree but I've seen many relationships and marriages fail because the man or woman won't distanced themselves from the opposite sex. And of course something happens.
Ur 100% spot on and this is what most people need to do. Your spouse is your everything after God
So true and spot on! 🔥
Correct. All flesh is grass.
So true, my ex husband ran to his best female friend with all of our business
If and when I get married I’m going to have to abandon 70% of my friends since they’re almost all women…… in all seriousness I am a Christian and I am a fan of Allen Parr.
You be a friend at a distance. Once you marry, the dynamic must change. You can have an emotional affair, which can be more damaging than a physical affair. You spouses need to talk to each other.
Once word got out that i forbade my husband from keeping female friends. Was blamed of this & that. My sister in-law even called me & told me she lets her husband keep female friends and told me not to have a problem either. Shortly after that her husband cheated on her.
Almost all affairs start with innocent friendships. May God bless & protect every marriage in Jesus' mighty name amen 🙏❤️
Amen! 🙌🏽🔥
They're not innocent, they're temptations that should be avoided. One has a spouse, why would they have to have opposite sex friends? The answer is in the last sentence. Sex, in some fashion, in the mind, to feel good. Marriage vows say to forsake all others. There's always someone who does it and nothing happens, but most, things happen. They get in some sort of bondage.
I like the comments when both say they only have same sex friends. Also, couples can be friends...together, not meeting up separately. You know what I mean. Get truly saved and you will know the truth. They're sisters or brothers, treat them so, in and outside of the church. What God has joined together, let not man or woman, put asunder.
@@michaelalbertson7457 Very well said!
I mean, the absence of female friends doesn't mean infidelity won't happen...
Affairs start from within. Lured away by his or her own lust and desires. They never knew the Lord. If they did they would obey Him.
I’ll be 💯 Every male friend I ever had came with an agenda and was waiting for their “ time” Every single one of them. Most opposite sex friends usually have feelings
that's always the case. women need to watch their backs.
God didnt make adam and even to be just friends.
👀🔥
That just means we have to protect each other. Not that it's an agenda per say, but feelings are gonna grow naturally if you spend time with another person. Especially if non-sexual intimate information is shared, hopes dreams, plans, desires I've done this and was slightly hurt when it was revealed that this wasn't the one. I'm learning we need to protect not only our own hearts but the hearts of others. Not saying this is your case sis, but it's super easy to lead someone on especially with sweet words.
@@Seanboogiefilms I’m thinking hey this is my brother etc. Mind you this was in my younger days. It always ended up with the “ I think of you as more than a friend” I’m like bruh…..it doesn’t work
I have to say that I have personal experienced with this situation before. I'm a single dad, however there was several married women at church that seems to have a "feeling" for me. By the power of Holy Spirit, I stayed distance away from them, especially when it comes to physically, because I strongly believe that marriage is beautiful, special, honor and everything in the eyes of the Lord and should be always between Husband and Wife. I 100% agreed with Allen Parr and need to be VERY careful how much you share your thoughts/feelings toward "best friends" when you yourself know you're already in a relationship with a spouse.
This is a very good way or Christian way of saying men and women can’t be friends in general if only most women knew that they wouldn’t be so frustrated when it comes to a man wanting sex or relationship you simply can’t be friends or put someone in the friend zone on someone who’s physically attracted to you I may get hate for that but I don’t care who disagrees with me this is just what it is.
So let me get this straight.You're a single Dad who gets hit on by married women. But you distance yourself from them.Are you crazy?
@@markmolino679 Marriage requires serious commitment. My ex-wife cheated on me and it was the worse feeling in the world. She made me feel like I wasn't worth to fight for. I wouldn't want to put that kind of experience to anyone and it's not worth it, my friend. Respect the marriage. There are plenty of singles out there.
@@markmolino679 Why are you here?
@@larryclay8875 You doing the right thing buddy.
Someone’s lack of self control is on them. Trust is beautiful when you give in fully.
Trust that human beings can sometimes fail you. Someones lack of self control is indeed on them, but can still hurt you.
@Cody Alexander Amen....
Cody Alexander, Yet having your trust broken is not a beautiful thing. So your spouse should be a true servant of God. And if not, then what? Will you survive, and stay true to Christ? That is God's question to us.
Trust who ? We can only trust God so because we can’t trust ourselves we must not put ourselves in a vulnerable position!
People that become cheaters don’t set out to be cheaters. Let that sink in.
I have a handful of female friends. We all literally grew up together (since like age 4) and we view each other like siblings. Now we don’t text and call all the time at this point of our lives but when we fellowship it’s just a good time. My wife is always involved though and she understands and respects the relationship I have with these women. It comes down to knowing yourself and how the relationships even formed in the first place and if they would be stumbling blocks. I don’t develop new friendships with women at this point either so there’s that. Just be transparent with your spouse and respect the boundaries.
This is why it’s so important not to settle and to marry your best friend. If you’re married to your best friend, you won’t be looking at anything else because you figure you have the best!
Spot on! 🔥
This all boils down to boundaries. Everything doesn't have to be extreme. Unless you absolutely need the extreme to keep you from falling.
My husband and I have friends of the opposite sex but we were friends with them before we were married but we trust each other and put ourselves before any of our friends. If something was going on where I felt I needed to put up a boundary and end a friendship so my marriage doesn't go south then I would.
Exactly. I would do the same for my wife.
Exactly.
I’m glad that you’re doing videos for marriage because the devil really attack marriage thank you. Hopefully I will be getting married soon and I really need This video
Don't worry hun as long as you and your partner are loyal you should be just fine 😊 As long as you make sure you remove toxic friends & keep the healthy friend relationships 🙏🏻
My husband and I are married 10 years and we've both made the decision to put certain things in place to safeguard our marriage... prevention is better than cure!
Our friends are mostly couples where he will chat/visit with the male and I would chat/ visit with the female OR we'd all chat/visit together.
I don't chat via text with ANY males outside of my family and he doesn't chat via text with ANY females outside of his family.
We don't have ANY friends that the other isn't aware of and both agree that if we wouldn't act or speak a certain way in the other's presence then its wrong to do so in their absence.
It is so easy to get caught up in a friendship, especially when your marriage goes through difficulty BUT there are ways to ensure that doesn't happen. The best way is just to avoid close friendships with the opposite gender altogether.
Emotional infidelity is real...I've seen these types of relationships cross the line.
Having opposite sex friends in the confines of a relationship/marriage causes more infidelty and affairs (emotional or physical) than anything else. Better not even allowing this situation in the first place.
I already know this is gonna be good!! I have ALWAYS said this!
This is so well said! I've seen how these relationships have been lived out in others, and this makes so much sense
I love this conversation! Definitely something to make VERY CLEAR during the courting phase.
So true! 💯
well said
Thank you Brother Allen parr . This is much needed in this filthy immoral falling away society. 👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍👍
Yes yes and yes. I always love how great you are at covering so many levels of concern. This is a challenging reality for all relationships. And this is where the word is God helps so much. These sorts of things are easier to avoid when we are actively seeking the Lord's wisdom. It's when we begin to trust ourselves and our own justification, that we find ourselves in a bad situation.
God bless!!
Thanks for sharing this, Allen! This is one of those "slippery slopes" that every married couple must watch for and avoid... reminds me of the verse "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial" (1Cor. 10) but in a marriage context! So relevant to address even before marriage. 💯
Looks like this clip is from a longer video on marriage you were part of... Would love to see the whole thing at some point if at all possible!... totally understand if it belongs to the original creator though. Thanks again! 🙂
Oh don’t worry, more clips to come for sure! I’ll be using all of them!! Lol.
And that’s what couples do to protect their relationship. They understand that we humans emotions can be influenced by outsiders. There is no exception to this rule. It just creates an environment for the thing you don’t want to happen, possible.
I just hope that my best friend is my wife. God bless you all and thanks for sharing. This has humble me and opened my eyes.
So, so many marriages have been damaged or destroyed by this kind of thing. This video gives a sound warning--which is good!
I need the rest of this video. This was good! Very informative
Allen, there is so much wisdom in this message.
This is wonderful. I’ve taken corrections because I’m affected. Thanks Allen God bless you
These are GREAT POINTS!!!! I lived with two of my best friends in college that were females and we still are close today and it’s gross for me to think of them in that way, Urgh! But YES, you can definitely be close friends with the opposite sex. They are my sisters and will always be but they, like my male friends, will not get in the way of my marriage. If she says she is unhappy with ANYONE we will analyze why and take it from there.
Thank you for making this video, almost everything you said I have been through in my marriage.
For any of us who are single talking to opposite sex people who are married, it's always important to keep your interactions short and brief. Get to the point if you need to talk to them, but don't imply to them that you want more than an interaction.
This is very very very excellent advice. Well done , well spoken and thank you Mr Allen.
Absolutely. The questions and answers were spot on. Thank you.
awesome discussion ... believe was served with Paperwork because spouce single friends were more informed on issues surrounding our marriage than I was ... the information should be taken to heart ...
This comes down to boundaries. Sometimes we project our own insecurities on other people. You might not be able to have friends of the opposite sex but other people do.
You sound like a cheater
Sure, and people like to hang on to exceptions to the rule rather than the majority…just to justify doing what they want to do. Reality is having close friendships with the opposite sex while married causes problems majority of the time, so why even bother. Let’s say everyone else does it? Most marriages end in divorce, so it would be wise to not follow what the majority of married people are doing anyway.
Nice Allen 👏 👏!! I appreciate you sharing this!! God bless you and the ministry!!
I didn’t know you spoke at this conference! You and Mike Winger should lead a deep dive on a book in the Bible! You two are great
Ha, that would be amazing! I'd love to team teach with Mike. We've discussed it but time and schedule may make this a bit difficult for us.
I really Needed this God bless you and thank you GOD for this word 💙🙏🏽
It's a sad statement when Christians are so insecure that they'd expect their mate to jettison their opposite sex friend once they get married -- esp. a friend they had before they met YOU. If they weren't having sex with that person during all the years of their friendship, why would they start after they got married? And why should your spouse get to be irrationally insecure about your friend if you've never knocked boots with them? Fornication is not a stumbling block for every Christian. Plenty of folks manage to remain celibate until marriage once they accept Christ -- esp. when they have a Christian friend they are tight with who is part of their church & walking with the Lord.
THANK YOU!!!!!
Have you ever heard of an emotional affair?
How easy it is to stumble into feelings for another person who has supported you for years as a friend, the moment things get a little tricky or uncomfortable at home…
Can you imagine Christ calling up his female bestie devoting His attention to her instead of you and giving up on His relationship with you, because your relationship with Him got a little rocky?
@@poptartpoochie You can just do what's expected of any adult and control yourself.
You brought up a good point that long before marriage with anyone, one should already be conducting themselves in a respectful way, without reproach and this actually would solve problems in relations with others once you are married.
@@poptartpoochie Probably the best thing to do when things gets little “rocky” is to go to the church or a marriage counselor as a couple. if one confides to family and friends there is more chance they might take your side (and regardless of any romantic entanglement) they might not ask you to examine yourself and they may not view your spouse as well. So it would be best to not discuss marital problems with anyone close (family, friends, etc.)
The Beat is a wonderful channel. Keep up the good work.
I wanna like this video 5million times! 100% facts bro Parr!!
10000000% agree with you !! You have a respectful attitude twords tour wife's feelings ! Like every person in a relationship should be
Well stated! Many people need to listen up.
Awesome video, thank you for tackling this subject! Though I'm not married (because the drummer for Skillet, Jen Ledger, doesn't know who I am yet 🤣), I always love watching content and videos about marriage because I want to have as many tools in my tool belt if God ever does choose to bless me with a wife
This is great! Thank you!
Those are great questions to ask or to ponder on
One hour preparation, excellent response!
I think one of the most important points was if your spouse is uncomfortable with the friendship then end it, period. You should always respect your spouses feelings. I've seen issues arise in relationships when one person expresses they're not comfortable and the other person tries to make it that they are the problem and they have jealousy issues. It's very manipulative and toxic behavior.
So true 👍
Is it just insecurity, jealousy or is the holy spirit revealing a threat?
@@ConsidertheCrows it’s not insecurity because I could care less if the guy is 400lbs and ugly, makes no difference. I KNOW she wouldn’t leave me for that, like I said makes no difference. So nobody can turn around and tell me I’m insecure or worried something might happen. It’s any and all men, they ain’t gonna be making friends with my wife. Friendly acquaintances? Sure! Anything more? I refuse to put up with.
Hey about the problem & jealous you write. They are right because I was jealous & complaining about my ex wife friends & family. My jealous & complaining destroyed my destroyed my marriage. I was uncomfortable with her friends & family. It destroyed my marriage. It was toxic to my ex wife. What you about manipulated is wrong. What i did to my ex wife was wrong.
🙏🏾 Thank you God for this wisdom, YES and AMEN!
Wow, very insightful & spot on!! 💯👏🏼Sharing this with my Facebook peeps & hoping to tag my hubby lol!😅
This was a nice well thought out question that has to much nuance/individual cases to be given a simple yes or no
It’s pretty much always a NO.
@@jdj2022 I know that, but some ppl cannot take a no to the face so you gotta use work arounds to get the message across
Great wisdom pastor! I'm not currently married but I do have a fiance so this is very helpful 🙏
Make sure to remove the toxic strings and keep the healthy ones and you should be just fine when you tie the knot ☺️
You always make me think, Mr. Parr!
Good discussion. Honesty and keeping your own moral values at bay is the only remedy for a beautiful marriage. ( I think )
100% knowledgeable and truthful
Great information. If the bible say leave your mother and father why would a friend stay. The devil hates marriage and that could be the very thing he uses to destroy it and bring temptation. I think business, etc will have opportunities to be around, friends of the Opposite sex in healthy ways, but as christian adults we still have to be careful, have discerment and be lead by the holy spirit.
Preach! 🔥
What if the say “im texting bcz want to get more relation for my busines, but their chat content is just casual chat, like he comenting opposite sex feed or story, too much friendly
Great questions! Thanks!
I most definitely agree .. it can be very dangerous to have friends of the opposite sex In a marriage especially if they are attractive and or if it someone you have been with. It can/will open doors to temptation.. I believe your spouse should be your friend or your should cultivate your relationship into friendship. It's much safer that way and it will avoid ANY confusion
Great advice here. So true and spot on….
Allen Parr, for you to say that your allegiance is with your wife with regards to problem is a very good thought to consider by everyone.
I had to let go of all of my female friends when I got married. Most of them, I had relations with. My wife also let go of her male friends. We aren't enemies, but we don't call and text each other anymore.
You proved my point in regards to men and women being “ friends” . There is an element of sexual tension there. You said you had been with most of your female friends . Glad you let them go
Thanks for sharing this... my wife and I did the same. So relevant! 🔥
@@LisaLisaCJ yeah at the time me and those women were single. The tension was there
@@LisaLisaCJ and we didn't have sex, but we went far enough because as you stated, the sexual tension was there.
This was a wise message, ranting about spouse is also one.
Good Teaching for me as a Single Woman with several male friends (non sexual, platonic). I desire marriage; God has been dealing with me to severe ties.
And they want to call us insecure because what they can’t see is the temptation. And it’s stronger when our spouse doesn’t affirm their allegiance. It’s dismissive and emotionally abusive. And spiritually.
Absolutely 🎯 Have you experienced it yourself and what advice can you give to get through to one's significant other about this issue? I am trying to explain as well as I can, but my boyfriend does not seem to understand. it just feels to me, that he cannot imagine how it was if the tables were turned...and that it is important to prioritize the main relationship. :/ Shouldn't that happen naturally when BOTH love each other?! 🤦💔💔🔥
@@AmericanDreamer absolutely it has happen to me multiple times and one time I was the person who entertained a woman and I got to close but I managed to escape that situation. First and foremost I will recommend praying for your relationship keep God in it at all times. It has helped me in my growth in my marriage. Few things I would recommend is couples counseling. Since you already expressed how you felt about it and he is not receiving it the way you think he should then perhaps a 3rd party license professional may be able to help you learn how to convey to him how it makes you feel hurt. However, I seen the other side whereas the person wanting to keep these people close is that they share a special relationship that is contrary to you and his. And what he may not see because he’s so close to the other woman is their behavior or he does. But I assume he doesn’t see how their interaction causes you a little bit of discomfort emotionally. And yours may come from a natural thing we humans do is we don’t want to share what is ours in the sense of intimacy which connects people. And that’s what’s probably going on in his mind is that there is a certain kind of belief that one person can never satisfy all aspects of their spouses life. And I disagree because if you are In love and follows Gods instructions of not letting no man separate what he has joined then the two shall become one. Meaning learning how to please each other. For the scripture says the husband cares for the things of the world to please his wife and the wife cares for the things of the world to please her husband. I would truly consider sharing those scriptures. However, he must ask himself is the woman he married not worthy enough to sacrifice for. And you must ask yourself the same. And if you both are willing to fight for your relationship then be transparent and don’t attack each other but listen fully to each other’s point of view and respect that. And if his behavior to compromise and set healthy relationships boundaries of refraining from the appearance of misconduct improves and trust is rebuild then grow stronger in that.
Good topic! NOT HAVING BOUNDRIES is a huge issue for male or female that are in a relationship. I for one have sisters in Christ's that are my friends HOWEVER I have boundaries that absolutely do not get crossed. I love the Lord too much to disrespect his daughter (my wife).
In the beginning of my walk with God, I used to rely on this channel heavily just to navigate through the Christian life. Not long after, I realized that I was not being properly fed at church because of this channel. I went through some struggles and now I have come back and the first thing you do is confront me directly. Well I'm not married yet, but this has practical implications in my life.
I would say that even if we are not married or getting married, we should not engage in friendship relationships with the opposite gender. At least not in a strong and deep one where you begin to spend some quality time together sharing good and bad moments in life and maybe even meeting somewhere where you are together alone. That never leads to anything good.
i agree 100%
Agree
Thats nonsense,how are u gonna meet your wife/husband?
🎯👍Absolutely! We have to set boundaries! With covid etc. I hadn't seen quite a few people from one of my gym classes. One guy said that we should exchange numbers to stay in touch, and I refused. I know that he didn't mean anything suggestive, but I told him that if his wife were to go through his contacts, I wouldn't want her to question his commitment.
If you’re single and not hanging out with people of the opposite sex, how are you going to find your spouse? Wait for him/her to just drop out of the sky on a cloud and a heavenly voice saying, “Behold, this is your spouse?”
Excellent points!!
Very good! Thank you, you nailed it!
Very insightful.
GREAT stuff!!
Very well said!!! 👏🏾
Good wisdom pastor 😊🙏
I am 52 years old (man) and have never been married. I became good friends with a female who was married. Over time we developed "feelings" towards each other: Not relationship feelings, but sexual feelings. One night we gave into those temptations, but stopped short of "going all the way". That night ruined our friendship. Since then, I refuse become friends, especially good friends, with anyone who is married. Especially with a female.
I love that you learned this!
This is really good advice. I have a guy who I would consider one of my best friends, we dated for a while but I decided that for certain reasons it was best we only be friends. All that considered, I don't know what to do. I'm still disappointed that it didn't work out between us.
Great advice. ✨
Excellent video
Great video 👍🏿
Great insight!
I agree with points here about protecting marriage through things like respecting your spouse and not sharing personal marriage info outside marriage and setting boundaries. But that doesn't mean you can't be friends with the opposite sex. Our culture seems to have lost the ability to have true platonic friendships. One of my closest friends is male but we naturally maintain bounderies and don't cross the lines discussed here. My husband has no concerns, either. So perhaps the real problem is that people dont know the difference between friendship and dating.
I agree. Jesus spent time women and consider them His followers and His sisters in the faith. I say be honest with your mate and keep your personal business private
Great advice and it can go for same sex friends as well as opposite sex friends (of course opposite sex relationships have unique serious perils). Your best friend is your spouse and no one should get in the way
I would say it is really about putting your spouse first above all others so if anyone was disturbing that you would need to put distance and that could not be respected you may have to part ways. Even with family, we must make sure we put our spouse first but in a healthy family (or spousal relationship) we should not have to sever the various relationships but those past relationships will change as you are married.
Wow!! That’s a good video!!
Yes, I’m 17 and no one my age understands this. But I’m glad there are people who understand this
My wife has the gift of discernment. Some of my friends male or female. It pays to listen to her. Totally get it.
Great points 👍
SPOT ON ALLEN
Great wisdom 🙏
Love you’re videos they help me a lot and you are doing a good thing glory to god
close friend of opposite sex is a no-no when you are married...don't trust yourself, we are all fragile, don't act like you can manage it...i don' believe such thing lasts...you are going to fall eventually. 2 Tim 2:22 - Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts (NLT)
Very well said sir!
I have several male friends right now as a single woman where clear lines are drawn regarding romance. I understand these friendships will either have to change or be removed entirely once I get married.
@doraashby Very smart. Get rid of all the temptations of infidelty and affair for the devil to put in your path.
Yes. I believed in not having such friendships even before marriage.
My husband doesn't have "friends" either.
We're all the opposite gender friend the other needs.
It really is a very dishonorable thing to do not to make your spouse your only.
Can you explain "not even having such friends before marriage"?
@@Seanboogiefilms not having male friends. Not spending alone time with them. I also offended several men by telling them I'm not going to chat with them over the phone. That is basically alone time...and a breeding ground for sin or emotional affairs.
I tried not to be rude to them and in group settings it is fine to be kind and be in normal conversations.
Not that I didn't make mistakes when I was just starting adult life. But after light incidents I got a really strong conviction that it wasn't godly and I decided that my husband would be my only male friend.
@@Miki-ri1gs Got it. That helps a lot. Thank you for sharing. Big brotherly side hug in the Lord. All the best. :)
@@Miki-ri1gs you're a smart God fearing woman i applaud you
May Peace Be With You All!🙏🏿🕊❤️
This is an excellent video and a very informative video with great advice. I definitely 100% agree how people need to be extremely careful when it comes to opposite sex friends when married. I don't think it's a sin for a married person to have opposite sex friends, and I don't think it's a sin for a married person to have close friends of the opposite sex, but married people shouldn't have friendships of the opposite sex that are "too close", and married people shouldn't put themselves in tempting situations with opposite sex friends that can easily lead to an affair. A lot of times when people have affairs, they say things like "I didn't mean for it to happen; it just happened". Those kinds of things happen when people put themselves in tempting situations that can easily lead to an affair.
It's very important to have reasonable safeguards in marriage to help prevent things like adultery from occurring. Without reasonable safeguards in marriage, it's extremely easy for an affair to take place. Examples of good reasonable safeguards to have in marriage are avoiding having opposite friendships that are "too close", not spending too much time alone with someone of the opposite sex, not having an opposite sex friend over your house when you're home alone, and not going over an opposite sex friend's house when they are home alone.
If a married man has a female friend who is having marriage problems, and the female friend wants to talk to the married man about her marriage problems, it's best for the female friend to talk to the married man and his wife together or a married man and a trusted friend together about the marriage problems instead of the female friend and married man together alone talking about the marriage problems because when a woman is having marriage problems, she's extremely vulnerable for committing adultery. When a married man and female friend are alone together talking about marriage problems, it can easily cause the female friend to feel like she's falling in love with another man, it can easily lead to an unhealthy emotional attachment, etc, which can cause an affair to occur.
@@wikim94 Excellent question. In my opinion, if this is bothering someone, I think they should talk to their spouse directly (being polite, respectful, and firm at the same time) about the issue and let their spouse know how they feel about the situation.
I think there's nothing wrong with a married man texting women, female friends, etc about business issues. I think there's nothing wrong with a married man texting women, female friends, etc about things that aren't business related as long as there's no flirting going on when texting, as long as there's no sexual messages being exchanged through texting between the two of them, as long as the two of them aren't texting each other for personal reasons too much, and as long as the two of them don't develop a friendship that is "too close" by the two of them texting one another for personal reasons.
I believe there's nothing wrong with a married man having friends that are women, and I believe there's nothing wrong with married men having close friends that are women, but married men shouldn't have friendships with women that are "too close", married men shouldn't talk to female friends alone about marriage problems, married men need to be careful about being behind closed doors alone with opposite sex friends, etc.
So good!
EXCELLENT ON POINT