At my previous church, I was always pushed to date these single men to the point I wanted nothing to do with getting married. They assumed I was desperate and lonely for a man (because I am in my 30's.) Once I left that ministry, things began to fall into place & I am happy to say I will be getting married next week after being in a relationship for a little over 3 years. 😊
this was encouraging to read. I`m in the same spot and I`m 27. I don`t feel desperate yet but people around me make me go crazy, if anything it turns me off from men and marriage :(
Awesome to hear, your testimony can help others! I wish you nothing but the best in your marriage and congrats - God bless you and surround you and your new family. Exciting times 🤗
This is NOT only a struggle for young people. I’m 62 years old and have been single for 26 years. I still struggle with lust and it’s heartbreaking when I slip. I love the Lord and I desire obedience in all ways. I know we all fall short but this seems to be a sin apart from others. Thank you for this video and look forward to anything more. I will be victorious as ANYTHING is possible with Christ Jesus!
The right reason for marriage is indeed companionship, as well as procreation, and sanctification... Nothing shapes a man or woman into the image of Christ like that person you love, and have to love.
I married a nonbeliever when I was a nonbeliever, and now I'm on fire for Jesus and can never deny he is real again. The best advice I can give everyone reading this is to find someone who loves Jesus more than they love you, and the vast majority of your issues will work themselves out. God's plan is always the best plan. Being in love with someone who denies Jesus is worse than being single.
That was me for a while, Can agree. My deepest prayers for you and your relationship, I know how hard and dark and sad it can be. Please never Choose anything else over God. I hope you never reach the point where one day you think you need to pick between the two, or that you need to denounce God to be happy with your wife. Stay on fire
@@gsanchez5116 I've met Jesus. There is no turning back for me now. I'm doing God’s work for the rest of my days. Eventually, Jesus will reach her. I have to be patient and give it time.
Been there and done that. I had never been so stressed out in my life. He ended up leaving me for my faith. I am going to say a prayer for your marriage and that your wife will come to Christ.
Hi Corey can u help me a litt!e bit, i am wondering what made u believe wholeheartedly in Jesus, i'm finding it hard to accept the Bible, God and Jesus as being real 😢 But i want to believe..
Got born again recently in April and this spiritual walk has been beautiful. I thank God for the gift of sexual control and even since i recieved Christ, i trully stopped stressing myself on issues of marriage. Am 38,single,no kids and alot of people especially family look down on me for they feel i don't belong. I gave God my all and i believe and trust His plans for my life. True i desire to get married to a Godly man who will love God even much more than me, but at this point, am working more on finding my purpose and calling in God's Kingdom.
I’m glad a Bible teacher is addressing this topic because not many people in the church really break down and explain these things. They expect you to be married by a certain age… but never tell you how to go about seeking or searching for a spouse.
I was married for 15 years and now I have been celibate for almost 2.5 years; by the grace of God. You have to run to God and be honest with him about your desires because if you want to be kept, God will keep you. I remember crying out to him and being honest about having sex outside of marriage and he gave me three words; he did not say," I understand, you are human," he did not say," I understand because you are a man", he just said, " to your detriment!" You have to ask him for the grace to stay pure because its his will that you stay pure. You also must guard your eyes, mind, and thoughts. Tell him your struggles. I don't want to offend him because he has never offended me, so I run to him. After all- he is the Lord of all flesh
@@HasanUnknown Thanks; Jesus is the son of Almighty God; Jesus is God, Jesus is the way to God, Jesus is the Righteousness of God, Jesus is the brightness of God's glory, Jesus is the word of God, who was in the beginning with God. Jesus declares, he that has seen me has seen the Father, He also says, I and my Father (God) are one. The Father also says that he (God) has given his son (Jesus) a name that is above every name and at the name of Jesus; every knee will bow and every tongue will confess to God, that Jesus Christ is Lord
I have been dating a woman for 7 months now. She truly is a gift from God. Never in my life would I ever believe I would have someone like her in my life.
Quality of a partner 1. Attraction/chemistry 2. Companionship 3. Character - Godly, Christ like character 4. Calling - Do your callings align? 5. Community - Does your spiritual community think you're a good match for eachother?
Hello, Number 5 is too much I think that relying on people's opinion in church to choose a woman/ man to marry is bad. I'm not saying that is wrong to listen to people but to choose someone or some people you know that are genuine and that truly love the couple, and to remember that the finale decision belongs to you and your partner. I go to a church where there has been a lot of people in similar situations and their relationships were ruined, judged, etc. Often times opinions become gossip and the source of it is jealousy. Just sharing about what I've seen happen.
Single and struggling! But I'm thankful that self-control is a part of the fruit of the Spirit. I've noticed as I get older I'm having to rely on Him more and more everyday in this area and am thankful to know that I'm not alone! Thanks for this video brother Allen!
Another banger! Yup, this describes me perfectly. Single and DO NOT have the gift of singleness. It’s definitely a struggle. I liked the point on paying attention to a persons character. That’s been really big for me lately. And thank you for clarifying that we SHOULD be attracted to a potential spouse. Christian circles tend to miss that.
This isn’t a matter of singleness being a gift or not depending on who you are. While you are single, singleness is ALWAYS a gift that God gives everyone for a time (until you get married) or forever (if you die unmarried). He desires us to use our time wisely while we single to build our faith and grow His Kingdom
@@DingMedia Good word. My heart goes out to those desiring marriage and still waiting. It us a hard place to be in and ut can take something out of a person living with unfulfilled longings. Wonder why God created man for a wife and both to create FAMILY yet some may never even know it? Or those who have no desire to really marry yet they get pursued?
@@ladyj5682 I think it all comes down to the way God originally designed it vs the way sin destroyed it. In God's original plan (i.e. Eden), there was no risk associated with a man and woman marrying and starting a family, because no one knew how to sin, or wanted to. In today's world, the chances of a truly godly marriage (even in the hands of people who truly want to be obedient to God) are so low that some of us just stay single to avoid messing up. That may be why the disciples said it's better for a man not to marry, and Jesus didn't disagree with them.
@@nameirrelevant0 Yet God said b fruitful and multiple. It's not good for man to be alone. Don't let fear keep you from experiencing something God created. Marriage was created by God and I truly believe two people truly seeking God and leaning on Him will make it. Just ask God to truly show you. All we can do is make the best decision we can and move forward in faith. I struggle with fear more than I want to own up to and hope God will free me but I need to get in His word
I’m struggling with my singleness more and more as I get older. I’m 32/single and can’t help but feel depressed about my situation. I feel guilty because I’m supposed to be content in Christ, but I can’t shake this aching desire to be a wife. To have someone to share my life with. Most people around me are in relationships and I’m the only oddball that’s always single. I can’t talk to people about church about the sadness I feel because they give me the same tired/judgmental responses. Only God knows my pain. If I’m to live like this for the rest of my life, I at least want to be satisfied with it.
The only answer is to get closer to Christ, and when you do, God will most likely give you a wife. If you feel you still have faults, then repent of them and let God help you to work them out, so that they plague you less and less. Then you won't be so worried and insecure, and the peace and joy of the Lord will come more into your heart, and then manifest in your life more. One will become more humble and inviting to others when they do this.
God makes it very clear in the Bible numerous times that fornicators won't see the kingdom of heaven, making it seem like they aren't Christians. So I pray for the singles out there to stay chaste.
@@kingquest2025 that’s irrelevant. Ive had periods of. Both financially prosperous and poverty. I guess we are blessed to be with a partner or not. Also this question doesn’t make since since poor people get married and have at least 4 children. Financial success and lack thereof, have no correlation. I’m unfortunately miserably single and have been on both ends of the spectrum. Sounds like youre not single.
@@donnacapps7263 Fornication is sexual immorality things like LGTBQ and Bestiality and pedophilia and also a rapist i will said and paying money for sex which is basically being prostitution that is what fornication is sexual immorality evil and sinners it doesn’t mean in any sense a men and women having sex also if a man and women had been for years together they are married into the eyes of God they don’t need to married in the Earth tradition the sex before marriage thing had been malinterpretate for decades ago they don’t even know what fornication is is not what they teach you in the church look at the Bible fornication means sexual immorality many unnatural and evil sexual acts not men and women and fornication is the sin that leads people to hell the most i will said over idolatry
When I was younger I couldn't imagine anyone wanting the gift of celibacy. But now that I'm a widow, I'm so glad I have it. I'm not suffering the drama that comes with starting a new relationship. I sleep peacefully at night, not tossing and turning and crying about what I'm missing. I just wish my Christian friends would stop questioning my decision not to re-marry and let me enjoy this gift from God.
I'm a 27 year old virgin with zero relationship experience and have and still am struggling with masturbation and impure thoughts after 14 long years. I came to God at young adult service two years ago and still battle the same struggles. Yes I too hope to be married and not base it entirely on sexual desires but on companionship. My desire for marriage is either my own or from the Lord in which I'm thankful. Deep down I'm in need of big change and desire to serve him out of my comfort zone and also glorify him in my marriage. If you could pray for me that will be much appreciated! Thank you and God bless! 💖
First of all go to Apostolic Church for the fullness of Truth, and have an Eucharist. You won't find the true Flesh and Body of Jesus in nowadays protestantism.
It took long but when God led me this I saw it now. That struggle stems from selfishness and pride, we are to repent( that is change your way of thinking) and fear and honor God.
Nick, I've been there, brother. Pretty much exactly how you described it. The only difference is the Lord taught me how to stop after He saved me. It was definitely Him that did most of the heavy lifting, but know that He provides you with a way of escape. Through the Holy Spirit, God always gives you a way of escape from your temptations. If we fall to them, it's on us. It's not God's fault, it's ours. The second thing that helped me tremendously is this; think about God/scripture when temptations arise. Figure out your trigger and figure out the verse you know you can't talk yourself out of believing. For me, it was the one from the beatitudes. "You've heard it said 'you shall not commit adultery', but I say to you whosoever looks upon a woman and lusts for her commits adultery with her in his heart." Quoting relevant scripture will remove or at least make the desire tolerable. This is what Jesus did when He was tempted in the garden. The third thing that helped me is this; avoid your triggers at all costs. Don't just try to look past them or not click on them, don't even go to the app or the site in the first place. For instance, if you know you'll get tempted on Facebook, don't use Facebook. If you know there will be pretty and loosely dressed women at the store and that always tempts you, figure out a different way to get the stuff you buy. This isn't something you'll have to do forever, just until you start to build better habits. But only get back on Facebook after you know you can handle it not any sooner. Having people to keep you accountable also helps. Tell someone (a wise, Godly mature person) about it and tell them your plan of attack. Give them the authority to bring council you if they see you slipping, then listen to their correction. Lastly, you don't have to be part of a certain church or anything to "fix" your problem. Temptations will always come, contrary to what people try to convince others with, it's up to us to have the discipline to be tempted and walk away. It can be done. Every time we succumb to our temptations, we are essentially driving the nails into Jesus ourselves and putting Him on that cross. I hope this helps you as it did me. These were hard-learned lessons and I continue to use them to this day. I haven't slipped up in over 3 1/2 years, since I started implementation. God be with you, my friend.
I've been happily married for 20 + years and this was so good for me to listen to because it asks me to ask some very good questions about my relationship and where I need to do some work Thank You Jesus for this ministry through Brother Allen and bless all of his days for the calling You have over Allen's life Amen
Love love love this video, brother Allen! I’m 28, never been in a relationship or had sex. Although all my life I had a strong desire for sex and for a long time my mind was filled with filthy thoughts and downright toxic ideologies about what relationships should be. After recommitting to Christ and allowing Him to shape my view of relationships and what part sex should play within a healthy relationship, my outlook has improved so much. I’m not desperate to feed into the attention of every man that looks my way and I’m more content and relaxed in this season of singleness that God currently has me in. Naturally, I still would like to get married some day but God has blessed me with patience for His timing. He is blessing me to understand that there is so much else going on that He wants me to currently focus on, planting seeds in every area of my life. God has blessed me with the reassurance that if it is in His Will for me to get married, then when He blesses it to happen in His perfect timing I will finally be allowed to understand why it never worked out with anyone else. God is personally writing my love story and anything that is surrendered to God is something that I know for a fact will work out for good and peace. All glory and honor to God Almighty Who will do abundantly above and beyond anything we can ask or think🥰
@@simphiwe_nontsikelelo If I read correctly, she's also woman. She said she doesn't entertain every guy who comes her way. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I'm 27 and from South Africa 😏 I'm a man 😉
I married an attractive woman who wasn't a believer, partially so I could have sex. The marriage was miserable, and did me far more damage than the loneliness had done. I often wished I could be single again. When I found proof of infidelity, I felt relief that I could finally get divorced. So sex isn't everything.
This happened to me as well. I have learned my lesson. I will never do it again. I will never help god out I will be patient and wait on him because if I do it I am going to cause myself pain.
I've done absolutely nothing sexual (thanks to Allen), for nearly 3 years and sometimes I just want to bang my head against a wall. My sexual desire is beyond fighting a pornography/masturbation addiction - it's fighting my basic human instincts to procreate. Alcoholism is horrible but it's not built into our DNA like procreation is. Nobody understands...the few people that know (because I can't exactly brag about it) can't begin to understand - my alcoholic father can relate but at least he can tell people and get some sympathy - I just get weird looks like I just grew a third eye. I've been debating finding the first Christian girl I see, marry her in 2 weeks, and fully release my desires. But I know I can't. This video is a good reminder of what matters most. Serving God. I am prepared to serve God as a single man my whole life. This is hard to admit sometimes, but the satisfaction I get from serving God outweighs my desires. If marriage happens, it happens. If not, I'm not going to cry about it. I'm just going to thank God and try to be the best brother, son, and friend I can be.
I think this is part of why Ecclesiastes tells us that it's better to be stillborn than to have to go through this life. Even our innermost bodies are trying to get us to go to Hell. I've considered castration myself, but I think what you landed on at the end there is good. Focus on non-eros love, because sexual desire is inherently selfish. Storge, agape, and philo are all selfless, and there's no law against kindness.
Many people marry all the time just because of sexual desires. Let's not pretend this isn't happening. This is what happens when the church doesn't explain things well.
Fact check false. You can make the marriage last if you want to. I mean, people made marriages last when they had no choice in who they married, instead their parents set them up. It all depends on your attitude and whether you want the relationship to last or not. Remember, this whole “marriage for love” idea is a VERY modern concept, as is probably the reason why so many people are struggling to find “the one”
Only thing you should wait for is Gods kingdom Mathew 6:33 I see no point of marriage unless it's a Godly union. I don't have time to balance someone in prayer when all I lived is a single life.
@ANTISCAM POLICE I think we assume people are truly living Christian lives. I think most are forced to marry bc pregnancy, someone said not right etc. But the true problem is they were never truly committed to the ways of God in first place. Even lf someone failed and cheated then their heart should be different toward what has happened. There are books out there talking about Christians who do bad things......I haven't read bc I just don't know what to say anymore bc I believe in remnants . There is always only a remnant truly living under God in an evil world
On this particular situation, I am dating a divorced man, he was the second husband of the divorced woman, and now she has remarried for the 3rd time.. we are in our 40's I have never been married I do struggle with the gift of celibacy and lusting for marriage. I do absolutely love and adore him, he feels the same way for me.. after listening to you speak on this topic
I like your videos a lot....I am Christian from India, I request Christians all over the world to please Pray for Christians in India as many Christians face persecutions and attacks by Bajrang Dal, Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP), Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sang (RSS), Hindu Yuva Vahini etc which are para-military forces that target Christian worshipers and Spreaders of the Word of GOD...Here even their persecutions are not getting highlighted as the Mainstream Media is having govt control which supports the organisations I mentioned above....Please Pray for us and Support us as well as all the Christians who face persecutions around the world
This is one difficult struggle. I’m a 33 going on 34 single man who works two jobs and has a youth ministry and music ministry at a church that is primarily not my age. I’m good at my being single, but there’s definitely desires there. I’ve made poor decisions at times as a Christian in this area, luckily by the grace I’ve God He’s in process of redeeming and sanctifying me as I’m praying and seeing who if anyone God has for me. This is encouraging though. Thank you.
@Sean Austin The Bible says he that findeth a wife finderh a good thing. Maybe you need to get away and alone wirh God and seek the Lord for your desires to have a Godly spouse and look to find her. There are plenty of Godly women who want a Godly man. Aren't You suppose to find her using God's guidance? Don't use women or string them along. Marry her.
@@champion3859 hey I got looks and I've never had a problem with girls except when I was in primary but got older and God blessed me a deep voice and a sense of humour which girls like plus I'm in Malawi the girls here aren't the same as in the that side of the world
single and not completely liking it. But surprised and glad that somebody like Allen understands that seeking and finding a potential relationship that leads to or could lead to marriage isn't as easy as going shopping for groceries, clothes or a new tv. I feel like Paul pretty much says if you don't have the gift of celibacy then get married as if it was just that easy as shopping and not considering other factors except don't marry an unbeliever.
I think it’s really hard to wait on the perfect person to come into your life when every day you are struggling with the problem of lust. As a Christian man I think it’s the most difficult struggle. You not only have to battle your own insecurities sometimes when it comes to engaging females but then you have to hope that the perfect women comes into your life that not only meets your spiritual qualifications and your attractive qualifications and personality qualifications but you have to hope that you don’t mess it up by falling into sin with that person.
@@ladybird2356 Women can at least make sure they are out there, and reasonably accessible. A man who doesn't know you can't pursue you. A man who has not access to you can't pursue you. It is necessary to participate to social activities where the kind of men you are praying might attend. While there, be friendly. No need to act desperate or seductively, just be nice to everyone, women included, and leave the rest to God.
I was struggling as a young Christian, then as I matured I learnt self-control. Then the pressure I felt from church and the constant questionning, along with death of both parents, my imminent marriage called of 10 days before and lots of other things as I reached 40 impacted me so much I fell badly. Now 15 years later God is back at his rightful place. I work with people who got married wrongly and the abuse, fear, depression, unhappiness, stress, hatred that I see made me realise BE healed before you ATTACH with another person. The more healed you are the less problems you have to work through. My life is absolutely amazing and this is the life my husband will experience when we get married. I do not believe only people who have no self control are the ones for marriage, it is to help them. The best people to get married are healed and holy people so we bring forth healed and holy children.
So I took notes for this topic because it will help a lot of single men or women out there. Thank you brother! 5 Essential Qualities to Look for in a Mate 1. Chemistry Am I physically attracted to this person? 2. Companionship Do I enjoy their company? Am I able to be myself around them? Am I able to be vulnerable and transparent around them? Do we have common interests? Do we have enjoyable, meaningful and deep conversations? 3. Character Does this person have godly Christ-like character? Are they a person of integrity? How do they treat people? Are they honest? 4. Calling Does their calling in their lives align with yours? 5. Community Does my spiritual community feel we are a good match for each other? Do we even have a godly community involved in our relationship? After reading all this, should you even get married at all? 3 Essential questions single must ask whether or not you should even get married. How much self-control can I exercise as a single person while I'm waiting? How can I be INTENTIONAL (men) about finding the right person to marry? When I marry, am I ready to stay married for life?
Thank you for this! It confirms that the relationship I was in wasn't right. And the "common interests" and "person of integrity" you can't see that right away; you need to take the time. And the community, because just spending time alone together is not good, especially in either of your homes with no one else. Bless you brother
The focus should be on becoming the right person for someone. There are a lot of Christians waiting for the right person but when you take their life objectively you realize that their "right person" would want nothing to do with them as they are now. We have our part to play. God bless you.
I’m single and 34 I had to sit with a pen and paper so I could retain this wise council to help and guide me in ma search and one gift I’m thankful to God is self control. God sustains u brother Allen
Hardest thing to be honest is being in your mid 20's but still doing school, and not yet having the finances for marriage. I've fallen into sexual scene in the past and I don't want to fall again, but when I look at getting married, it seems to be far from me.
I’m in the same boat. I have someone I’m interested in but I have no idea how to make a move. She goes to my church so if things don’t go well I’m afraid it’ll be awkward for us. I’m in my early 20’s & had only 1 relationship which was before I truly knew Christ.
I feel the same way tbh. I just know that I’m not financially or emotionally ready for a marriage, but also can’t indulge in sexual sin. The way I see it is God is most likely trying to tell us that our time for marriage hasn’t come yet. I will say though that asking God for strength and to lead me away from temptation, has helped a LOT. God will give you the strength to endure if you ask, trust me. :)
This kind of thinking is why my mom and aunts weren't allowed to date for very long back in the 70s. My grandaddy was the pastor so the dating was brief and the engagement was brief too. They pushed folks to get married really quickly. My parents met in February, got engaged in April, and were married in June all in the same year! I was born the next year and 13 years later they were divorced. We can't force people into marriage.
Maybe host a singles party, like Ruslan did?? His crew were mostly in their 20’s. I’m a 41 single woman and understand the weight of marriage. It has to be the right, God ordained spouse, or I don’t want it!
Nah, singles events organized by churches tend to be awkward. Preferably, churches should organize and include young Christians in charity events. Naturally, organically, young Christians can meet in a setting where they’re serving others. They can even assess the work ethic of their team members - an indicator if they can work together in marriage. Not a bad setup, in my estimation.
Your teaching on single and marriage had help tremendous ly!! I thank God for you!! God bless you in your ministry forever. I am 64 and seeking for a husband.
I'm single and I can't stand it anymore. I don't see it as a gift anymore. I want to be married but I'm not just going to pick anyone. I'm tired of waiting 🥺😡
Keep yourself busy with serving God and living the purpose He has for your life. Find things that you like to do in your spare time. The desire won't wear off, but at least you won't have the time to dwell on it. God knows desires of your heart and will fulfill them as long as you delight in Him. God bless.
It's like I'm taking it now more of a sorry to a curse rather than a blessing. All I do is wait, and wait and wait... I see everyone else getting married and I'm left with saying what about me God. I just had to speak my truth.
I keep myself busy and but I keep coming back to the thought. I don't want to be single anymore. I want to be in love and married. I know relationships take work.. but still I am single. I'm tired of it. 🤗
I'm 55 yrs old ... I know the bibles says I have waited on the and he's heard my cry and set my feet on a rock.. I get tired of being lonely. I'm not desperate just tired of waiting lol if that makes sense.. I
Allan, I appreciated this video. I am divorced now for over 2 years. My wife left to fulfill what she said she missed in her 20s. We had been married for 24 years. She surprised me with divorce papers over Father's Day weekend in 2020. We have 6 kids together and they were devastated. Upon my divorce, my church family ignored me and stopped all communications with me. I struggle daily as I would like to find a partner again, but I feel like I am sinning if I date and marry another woman.
Good Morning Allen ! Yess this is the one right here ! It is much more normal in todays times to just freely do it with whomever you want whenever you want and its totally fine. I didnt grow up in a home where Celibacy was even mentioned, so i had a few test runs before my marriage ! Now its our time to break that generational curse and let our children know about this ! Ima say it EVERY time you drop a new video *I LOVE THIS SERIES !* God Bless You Brother Parr ! 💞 Have a wonderful weekend ! 💞
I married my husband for love, we just celebrated our 30yrs together. I know in my heart that if my husband passed away before me (GOD FORBID), I would never love or marry again. In Christ I believe, Amen.
Splendid, those last questions are questions I asked myself. And i can conclude that the Holy Spirit is helping me to wait despite how I feel. Thank you Bro. Allen
The REAL and EXISTING CREATOR KNOWS THAT - All Atheists, Agnostics, Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, and all liars, arrogant, and hateful persons who rejected the BIBLICAL teachings of Jesus Christ about the Kingdom of God and Resurrection of the Dead as worthless and useless will just become worthless and useless dusts on earth forever after their deaths. The REAL and EXISTING ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS, CHRISTIANS, HINDUS, MUSLIMS, BUDDHISTS, and all LIARS and HATEFUL PERSONS DON'T KNOW THAT - All submissive and obedient human beings who put their faith and hope in the BIBLICAL teachings of Jesus Christ about the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead" will be rewarded and honored by the Creator with ETERNAL LIFE and existence on a safe and peaceful planet earth without sufferings, pains, griefs, sickness, and deaths, without terrorists, criminals, and militaries, without arrogant and hateful atheists, agnostics, and fanatics of religions, without liars, slanderers, deceivers, hypocrites, without funeral homes and cemeteries. Worshippers of the Creator who died thousands of years ago like Abel, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, King David, Jesus Christ's disciples and many others will be resurrected back to life by Jesus Christ at the Creator's own good time. Worshippers of the Creator and believers of the Christ will fully enjoy the eternal love, kindness, generosities, compassions, favors, and blessings of the Creator and his Christ for eternity as subjects of the "Kingdom of God" under the loving rulership, guidance, and protection of the Creator's Chosen King, his Christ.
Thanks so much for this video. I was really really really, did I say really struggling with this SIN for years even though I’ve been a Christian all my life. I’m in a much better place now and I am now celibate and loving it. It took a lot of prayer and basically me failing at every relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m still somewhat attractive and I’m a single mother of two very handsome teenage boys but have no desire to be in another relationship and for me that has to be God, I couldn’t do that in my own strength. If it is the Father’s will for me to be married he’ll basically have to come to me and say to me Marsha it’s ok, I give you my approval… lol. Thanks again though.
I'm 40 years old and a virgin, I struggle with sexual urges all the time, but I'm currently not working and have been trying to get on disability. I've spent 7 years trying to get on disability, but to no success, so I'm trying to learn how to do web development and if I can I'll try to start working. I would love to have a partner in life, but I remember how I was when I was younger, I burned so much with passion I couldn't keep my hands off the women I got with. I don't know what to do and its very frustrating. I also have gotten addicted to pornography and pleasuring myself, and I find that I get back into it after a long time of not doing it. I'm just a mess, but with God, I'll overcome this!
It took long but when God led me this I saw it now. That struggle stems from selfishness and pride, we are to repent( that is change your way of thinking) and fear and honor God.
Hi Brandon thanks for sharing your story. Change comes from within and we all have that thorn in our sides but God's grace is sufficient for us. Yes I know sometimes easier said than done however you have to make that effort to change. You can't clean out your house and leave it empty. Find other hobbies, create new habits, read a book, the bible, start a journal, take a walk, go to the park, join a club, volunteer. If you belong to a church group get involved. Most importantly be honest with yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself. God's Blessings
Hey Allen, God bless you for your videos. I’m an unmarried mother, who desires to be married..and leaning HARD on Almighty God regarding remaining abstinent..But it’s really not easy, emotions at times be running real high…but I will continue to trust in Him🙏🏿🙌🏾 Thank you once again
If I might share wisdom, it’s this: 1 Corinthians 7 is clear. You have to throw out all of your pre conceived ideas because the call is bigger than you think. Paul says to marry if your burning BECAUSE the end of all things is near. He adds how we shouldn’t have any dealings with the world, how we should live as if we’re not married or to not weep if you are at this said time [im quoting parts from the end of the chapter], to not rejoice if you are and so on, all to ultimately sums up his points by saying: “the time has been shortened” [v29] and, “the form of this world is passing away.” [v31]. He’s drawing the reader to understand that we want to be LIKE those who are “free from concern”, and who seek to “please the LORD” and not their spouses. How one “may be holy both in body and spirit” and not divided. His desire is for us to “to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.” So because of immoralities, because “each man has his own gift from God”, and because it’s harder for some to now practice self control, it’s Paul calling the communities to practice such a radical measure that goes so against the grain of how we think we should date or marry or find “the one”, or even take time for engagement or planning of weddings for all the family to see “at the best time”, solely for the sake of righteousness- to fulfill all righteousness and not be distracted with the burning passions of the flesh that go unfulfilled, or acting in a manner that transgresses the commandments of God. To the couple who marries in this way, it should be not for the sake of lust, but rather because lust is waging war with ones ability to hold fast the commands of God. So you should see then marriage as not a dating venture, but as a Gods given grace to you FOR purity. [Also, I did this, and me and my beloved wife are living in light of eternity, waiting for the Kingdom of Messiah, so it’s true that the person shouldn’t be any one right off the street or from your past whom you know is not a believer- my advice would be to test each other. Be upfront about your desire to be obedient to the commands of God, and your looking for a partner to help you in a way that no one else can as you both see yourselves as sojourners. For my marriage, we didn’t need all these points Parr brought up, IN LIGHT of living out 1 Corinthians 7 because we both had the same goal- to go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the God of Jacob, to be students of Messiah and walk in His paths. For the Law comes forth from Zion and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. It’s from that conviction, that marrying in light of eternity made much sense where we wasn’t checking off criteria on how to please each other or how we can by our interests as Paul was advising not to do. I do believe in being equally yoked, so again I’m not saying marry anyone. But if you both are very mature in the faith, not looking to play church but truly sojourn with the people of God, and imitate the faith of those from Hebrews 11, then I’d advise this for you.]
You'll never attract your spouse on the long term if you give her the feeling that you use her to fill your sexual desires. The worst reason to look for somebody... Never go into a reationship with the question of what you'll get in it without the more important question of what you're ready to bring into it. If you're not ready to live in sacrificial love, don't get married !
When I was in my 20s, I married a woman that I didn't love for the purpose of sex. I can personally testify that this is NOT the answer. My marriage was absolutely miserable and it ended in divorce. I beg and plead with all young Christian men and women: WAIT for God and WAIT for the right person. Waiting always pays off when it is blessed by God. His plan is always better than our plan. Purity may be hard, but it is far better than entering marriage with the wrong person just so you can have sex. You will quickly realize how little sex you actually end up having in a bad marriage that is not founded in love and respect for one another. If you are struggling to stay pure while waiting, talk to your pastor or other men at your church to keep you accountable.
THANK YOU FOR THIS! I've been dealing this conundrum for awhile! I read through that chapter and thought it said what it is, and you explained that very well to the point where I thought the Apostle was saying to believers. (Since the sexual immorality has been rising rampant in this today's culture. Specifically here in America. You see Only Fans rising where people don't care for marriages.) Based on my history and the initial spark from seeing "porn", it has gotten back to me after a while of being free from it. Social media and their "pro-Porn" of not taking much down of lewd or the female's promotion of their Onlyfans has gotten worst. So, struggling in that Lust department has been a big challenge to deal with. P.S. I agree with mostly of that Companionship there, and the others that you listed. It is quite vital to look in the opposite sex there to see if they match with you.
I have been single for twenty years as a virgin. I am thirty-eight years old. I have prayed to God for a wife, and someone has prophesied a bridal engagement to me, but the prophesy was only in part and didn't name any names or exact dates, or any other details, except for her approach with an instruction that I embrace her. In light of this, I thought of having a family appointed match-maker (we don't have one currently) set me up with someone, but I didn't want to make Abraham's mistake of trying to do things my own way when God has already appointed someone: so I'm pretty much left in limbo with this as a topic for discussion - but no sex so far. On the plus side, the prophesy has done wonders to increase my confidence.
Currently single after a few girlfriends that I knew were not for me. I'm focusing on improving spiritual, physical, social, mental, and financial health until finding someone the one who will fit into my frame. May the Lord bless me with wisdom to continue becoming the man who will fulfill desires of my future spouse and to choose wisely.
Great video! First and foremost, thank you for saying that it's okay to be single. The other day, I was just reading a Facebook post about how the Church often rushes women to get married. (Find your Boaz/kingdom spouse in 6 months! Guaranteed! *eyeroll*) Thankfully, my current church home doesn't make me feel that I need to get married before the 2024 election. Secondly, thank you also for saying that physical attraction matters with men AND women. In the future, I don't want to wake up next to my husband and be horrified. I also want to add that if people are getting married just to have sex, then they should get counseling. I learned from married family members and friends that marriage is more than just having sex. I do desire a husband to share my life with, but I feel that I'm not in a rush because my life is full as it is (with my relationship with God, family - I have no children, work, business, ministry, friends, self-care). I just believe God that I will get married on His timing.
Thanks for the information. Sometimes we know the right person it just not the right time. For its important to heal from past trauma past relationships so you don’t bring that mental baggage to the relationship
Let go of our desires. Keep them as preferences and by letting go of that burning feeling, you allow yourself to be contemptuous and be satisfied with God alone. Just tell God that. I give up on this desire, if you want me to then I will but if you don't then I won't and that is fine. It gives peace but is easier said than done.
One way that can help ones with their burning desies is to think about the sexual diseases they can catch as well as the people who are hiding their homosexuality and sleeping with them and their same sex partner
Heading to 50 in 2.5 years and still a single Christian. Been a Christian for 29 years now. I’m sad that I won’t be a wife and mother.😢 Here’s to a soon-to-be 50 old virgin
As a long time married man let me tell you that you are commanded by God himself to stay that way, I don't even know if Christian Churches should be remarrying people at all yet preachers seem to have no problem with it, as the shepherd I believe that this should be taught more especially when young (or like in your case not as young) people are getting married for the first time they need to be informed about God's commandment, I was informed before I got married and we went through a fairly long premarital counseling and I was surprised that not one word was spoken about staying married outside of the ceremony but Christians need to know while the church continues to be silent on the matter, now that former minister resigned and stopped preaching, then he started dating another woman, then he divorced his wife and gave up the rights to his disabled daughter and completely gave up on Christianity and the church leadership remains silent come on guys this is important let's make certain that we understand that staying with the woman of our youth is important.
Existing on planet earth are liars and hateful human beings Also existing are submissive and obedient human beings The BIBLE is also existing on planet earth THE REAL AND EXISTING BIBLICAL BATTLE TO THE DEATH - THE CREATOR and JESUS CHRIST VS. LIARS and HATEFUL HUMAN BEINGS. ETERNAL DEATH FOR THE VANQUISHED - All LIARS and hateful human beings who HATE the Creator and believe the LIES and UNBIBLICAL teachings and doctrines of the anti-Christs Teachers, Leaders, and Pastors of the Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, etc. about "Armageddon", "Hellfire", "Trinity", "Rapture", and "Reincarnation" will just become worthless and useless dusts on earth forever after their deaths. ETERNAL LIFE AND EXISTENCE ON EARTH FOR SUBMISSIVE AND OBEDIENT HUMAN BEINGS - All submissive and obedient human beings who honor and obey the Creator and believe the BIBLICAL teachings of Jesus Christ about the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead" as TRUTH will be rewarded and honored by the Creator with ETERNAL LIFE and existence on a safe and peaceful planet earth without sufferings, pains, griefs, sickness, and deaths. The "Kingdom of God" or Rulership of God through his Christ will ensure that planet earth is safe, peaceful and without terrorists, criminals, and militaries, without liars and hateful atheists, agnostics, and fanatics of religions, without slanderers, deceivers, and hypocrites, without funeral homes and cemeteries. The teaching of Jesus Christ about the "Resurrection of the Dead" is the guarantee that all worshippers of the Creator and believers of his Christ who died even thousands of years ago like Abel, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, King David, Jesus Christ's disciples and many others will be resurrected back to life by Jesus Christ in the Creator's own right time. ETERNAL LIFE and existence on earth means all worshippers of the Creator and believers of his Christ will fully enjoy the eternal love, kindness, generosities, compassions, favors, and blessings of the Creator and his Christ for eternity as submissive and obedient subjects of the "Kingdom of God" under the loving rulership, guidance, and protection of the Creator's Chosen King and Ruler, his Christ.
Are you physically attracted to them? This point is very important, I am always being told it doesn't matter as I should only be spiritually attracted. I know for sure that this is not true. I watched a lot of marriages; especially Christian marriages fail because they had no attraction to each other. Sometimes in the church, we are seen as bad people for not being attracted to the who they try to force us to date in the church. I was considered offensive for sharing that I want an attractive husband as I know I take care of myself and would want someone I find attractive. (I also face the challenge of being looked down upon because I like to date outside of my ethnicity. Oh well…) Do I enjoy their company? Am I able to be vulnerable? What is their character? What is their calling? This where I struggle as it is hard to find men of God with the same passion and desire for God as myself. Sadly, there are hardly any men in the church. Some people get too religious and show no love or empathy in the home but acts concern and holy at church. Many times, the husbandly and wifely duties are not balanced because they are only focused on the ministry. Very powerful points! I’m still prayerful for my husband as the journey is not easy but I know it’s worth it.
Thanks so much for addressing this topic. I have never had a desire for marriage and often wondered if I was even supposed to get married. People have tried to hook me up with a "nice single christian guy" a time or two but I would be the one to drop the ball because I just wasn't interested. Now, that I'm almost 40 and still don't have a desire for marriage, I feel that I might very well have the gift and that's okay. You can be a single christian female with no desire for marriage or children. Thanks for confirming that!
Wow, I’ve literally never heard a woman say they have the gift of singleness. It’s really cool to hear someone say that because it does go against our culture but at the same time it also aligns with what Paul says in the Word. Thanks for sharing your heart!
What I take from this is that my on and off ex of 6 years isn't the one at this moment, and I accept my part in that as well. God revealed to me that I had no idea what love truly was. Now that I'm growing spiritually, our convos revealed that she's placed a relationship with Jesus on the back burner for now. I've prayed that He would do a work on both of our hearts, but as it stands now, I will serve her...as a Christian, as a friend. God has revealed much to me this month and I must say that.... I never had a clue lol. I cried many times but now I can smile at how helpless I was and am without Him.
Thank you for this video. I have shared it with my son's (age 20 and 23) who both say they never want to get married or have kids. They think the world is too messed up.
@@champion3859 You have just not met that person yet. There are around 8 Billion people on the planet now so unless you have personally spoken to at least 1 billion of them, the "no one loves me" statement is a lie from the pit of hell. You should honestly ask yourself if there are reasons people would like to stay away from you and what you can do to fix it. Also ask yourself why people would want to be with you and make sure you can offer what people you would want to be with need. Once it's done, make sure to be in the places the kind of people you are looking for like to be at and leave the rest in God's hands. God bless you.
Thank brother Parr for this video; it is the message I needed to hear. Being a man of God who is single and looking for my Queen. Thank you, brother, once again. Great content.
Church has gone wild indeed in this video 😂 but this needs to be spoken about!! 🙌🏻🔥 it’s hard being a single these days with temptation legit EVERYWHERE 😅
Hello Brother Allen, I am so happy you are addressing this topic, I wish I would have had this teaching before I got married, we talked about a lot of things, but as time goes on some things change and then we feel stuck because of what the word says about divorce 🤷🏾♀️. Peace and blessings to you🙏🏾
God Bless You man this video is one for the masses! This is a question I’ve personally had for a few yrs but didn’t have the courage to ask so this helps tremendously. I appreciate the break done and simplicity in explanation. I don’t know you but as a fellow believer and I love you and the ministry God has put inside of you. Keep em coming my brother!
You know what Allen something is telling me this video you put together has or will help alot of people. This is the kind of video that seems to be hard to find on RUclips, but is much needed.
This is the topic I been struggling with for many months, thanks for the posting. And oddly enough youtube has recommended anything from your channel in many months.
There’s no such thing as “the right one”. Every person probably has 2-3 “eligible” marriage candidates in their life, they just “don’t want them”. This is typically because they don’t find the person all that physically attractive. This is the problem with modern day relationships. There too much emphasis on the physical and not enough on the stuff that matters. No one marries anyone from their friend group, which is mind-blowing to me. Like, I would want to be friends with my future spouse before I got involved romantically, because I want to see them as a person before feelings and all get involved. Also, if I choose to have someone in my life for a few years as a friend, then that means they’re probably a good person that I enjoy being around. 2 qualities I want in a spouse. Also, and I’m gonna get a bunch of hate for this part, but that passage from Paul is the ONLY place in the Bible that says it’s better to be single. From the very beginning of time God points out that singleness isn’t good, that’s why he made Eve for Adam. Don’t fall into the “gift of singleness” trap. Sure, don’t get all kinds of depressed if you are single, but also stop acting like your chance will never come. Go do something to meet people your age and ask a girl/guy out if you’re lonely. Visit a local church, attend a community event, etc. Or, look at your friend group at some of the people you may be overlooking. God made you to be in relationship with others. Don’t let 1 verse hold you up, read the rest of your Bible and see that that 1 verse is an outlier
That passage doesn't say "it's better to be single." That's a half-read of the passage. It says it's better IF you can control yourself. Most of us can't and God knows this of course, which is why it's clearly better for the vast majority of us to marry. No one has set a "gift of singleness" trap. That's just you half reading and half interpreting the passage and creating a straw man argument. You mean well but accuracy is important.
People should not be shallow But people shouldn’t kid themselves either. It’s important that you have some level of attraction to your spouse. Balance is key in life!
@@EmmyFrankGoodin yes, and that is the ONLY place it says that in the Bible. Woman was made for man, so the baseline is that Man should be with women. I’m not going to get into my take on that passage, but it’s definitely not Allen Parrs take. I think it’s a lot closer to when Jesus says things like “Be perfect just as my Father is perfect”. In other words, as a human, you CANNOT NOT burn with passion. It’s engrained into your DNA. It’s your nature. It’s like when Paul says “to live is Christ, to die is gain”. Yes, heaven and eternity is better than life in Earth will ever be, but it also doesn’t mean you should go off yourself. Marriage is the rule, singleness is the exception. There’s a reason that marriage is talked about so highly in the Bible, it’s because it’s something we should all strive for. It’s a representation of God’s relationship with the church. Sure, it would be better if we didn’t need it and could rest solely on God, but we can’t because we are sinful. I also think this was one of Paul’s “I’m better than you” moments that you see throughout his letters. Also, that “clarification” is pointless. It’s like saying “the Bible doesn’t say it’s better to be able to talk, it says it’s better IF you can control your tongue”. Obviously it’s only better if you can keep from sinning, but that better is the STANDARD.
Okay then why didn’t Paul say unless you’re cute pleasing to the eyes it’s better too marry than burn with passion? See how that adds too the Bible? It says it’s better too marry than too burn with passion.
I want to tell you I appreciate your videos on the topic of sex. I’m single and a Christian…..And a man..lol. It’s very difficult for me almost every day. I’ve been single since 2017 because God hasn’t shown me the woman He wants me with yet. These videos really help me. So thank you.
@@Tirah-p2r ummmm WHAT?? I’m just sitting here wondering how someone can see a positive comment such as mine and apparently find so many things wrong with it. I just read your other comments associated with this channel and they’re negative. Not only are they negative but you are talking negatively about Allen Parr. If you don’t like what this man says, then why are you still watching his videos. Let me guess, you don’t watch the videos, you just troll him and leave negative comments. I wouldn’t be surprised. By the way, most of your reply to my comment doesn’t even make sense. Hope your day gets better. Keep your head up.
@@sully.2435 what Tarah is saying is that you shouldnt be expecting your spouse to just appear at your door. Rather, as a man, you should be going out there and actively be trying to find a woman to marry
@@apracity7672 When did I ever say I wasn’t out there trying to find a woman??? I said God hasn’t showed me the woman He wants me with. What are y’all talking about?? Lol. Goodness
I'm definitely not meant to be celibate... I struggled a lot through my teenage years. Now I'm almost 26, I believe I've found the right one, she checks all the boxes you mentioned in the video. But now, due to financial restraints, we can't get married. My parents have refused to let me get married because I don't have a degree yet (I'm still in school, with two years to graduate). Well, in all honesty, it's become ten times harder since I've found someone I love so much and actually want to spend my life with, but can't commit because of social and financial reasons, "Be patient!", "God's time is the best." and all that kinda stuff... It's really hard! And I don't know what to do, two years is a long time. In Nigeria, we went from becoming adults at 14, to waiting till we're 30 to leave our parents houses... It's all pretty messed up honestly. If I "Walked out on faith..." (Faith is my girlfriend's name btw), I'd be broke, because that's the country we live in... Man, this is getting long, not sure your gonna see it, but whatever... Anyway, I really want to get married but I can't cuz I'm broke, and in my country, it's every man for himself, my parents have the money to give me, but they won't, cuz it'll be a thing of shame to them (Your son has no job but he got married, what a slap in the face of society). But my, or our, bodies are burning with desire... I don't know what to do Sir. If you took the time to read this, thank you. I love your channel Sir
I want to get married because it’s always been a dream of mine to have children and a husband. It was never about sex until I hit 30, 3 years ago. Now I’m getting more impatient and it sucks. I don’t want prayers for patience I just want a family. Sometimes it’s about family. I’m bitter and angry because women are having abortions and I don’t want to end up alone and content that I never had a family while they are doing those things more than just once. I don’t want to be an old lady / woman resentful that I never had an attractive, intelligent, wealthy man that will love me but NEVER meet those men. I feel punished. I don’t even want to live anymore. What’s the point I’m 33 not meeting anyone. If I felt I should give up and be single no kids, then it wouldn’t be on my heart to have that family. It angers me to my very core.
Maybe try not focusing on having a wealthy man, sometimes we have to wait because we need to change our mind set before God allow to meet the person he has for us. There are wonderful men out there who are hard working with money, but not necessarily wealthy…
Thank you for your honesty. Kristen. About ten years ago I found myself feeling the same way. Although God has not sent me a husband, He has drawn me closer to Himself by letting me share my honest feelings with Him and meeting me in my pain. Praying for you dear sister.
So this is somewhat contradictory of another video I that saw earlier. I would love if you would expound on this. Okay I am divorced because my former husband of 24 yrs - the love of my life - also a former pastor was unfaithful a few times. The last time he broke up another marriage - and began to mistreat his family once he was discovered. I prayed for 3 years that he would go to counseling but he chose not to go…. He continued his wayward behavior. He was not a bad person just weak! However his meanness and disrespect to me and our young men during this season was unbearable. So I ended up with great sadness divorcing him. So from what I understood you saying… based upon the word I can’t remarry…. Even though he married the secretary?? I have been single and celibate for the last 12 years. Trusting the Lord to bring the right person into my life. I have met a whole lot of wolves in sheep clothing. So I have resigned to spend my time loving God and others. But my desire is to marry again one day. While I throughly enjoy my singleness, I also know that I have so much to offer the right man who loves God and others and demonstrates his love for God through his life living.
Just keep walking in the Spirit y’all! When ur in this ROUGH season of waiting pray while you take every step. Around this time last year I desperately wanted to meet my future husband. I remember praying abt whether i should go do homework at the campus coffee shop on the east side or the west side. When should I go study? Should I get up to grab a coffee to see if there’s anyone i know that’s here? ofc there’s no right or wrong answers to these questions but as I continued to pray God worked everything out for His purpose and for my good. Nov 9th last year I went to do homework at the coffee shop, got up to grab a coffee, saw my friend jonothan & said hi. We were just chatting and a few of his friends walked in so we moved to sit with them. As people in the group slowly left I got to talk to a guy named Ayden. Our friends took pictures of us talking to “save to show us on our wedding day”. We talked for hours and became best friends. 3 weeks later Ayden asked me on a date and I said no bc I only wanted what God willed for my life and i couldn’t imagine how dating someone could glorify God after 3 years of 2 different “Christ centered” relationships. I went home and stayed up the whole night praying. I felt convicted for saying no! i felt God calling me to trust Him and just text Ayden and i did. Ayden called me right when i texted him (4 am). he had been up all night praying/ trying not to cry. We went on our first date at 5:30 am, we said i love you 2 days later and he told me he wanted to marry me that week. We got engaged in April & married June. He’s everything I had been praying for (which i suggest writing down the desires of your heart so you can see if it actually lines up when you meet people you’re interested in). It’s a scary thing when you have everything you want in life. I’ve got the perfect husband (in my opinion ;), the car i wanted, the jobs i want, friends that are believers, my parents have finally accepted Christ, and financial stability, blah blah blah. Find peace in Christ alone BEFORE getting married if you’re not married yet!!! It’s so easy to put your hope in other things thinking that you’ll be happy if (fill in the blank). Im incredibly happy with my husband now but i had peace in Christ alone before I met Ayden. bonus encouragement! At our wedding 2 of our friends that were in our bridal parties who walked down the aisle together (unintentionally) are now dating and getting married within the next 2 years! God will take care of ALL the details. Whatever fairytale love story you’re dreaming of don’t waste your time, God has something better! Draw near to God for in His presence there is fullness of joy🤍
Very encouraging I’ve been hearing about writing down my desires I’m going to be obedient and do it. Thank you for sharing your story God bless unions 🙏🏾🤍
You have been such a blessing since I subscribed to your channel, all I have learned is just perfectly explained, God has given you an amazing gift for his glory. Keep going!!!
Me and wife married with this verse in mind only dating 6 months. We had a huge fight I never violated but I’m from a NYC Latino and she’s from a small town Caucasian.. Her agnostic family members talked her out of it and grudgingly I gave her the divorce even though I disagreed I loved her and couldn’t stand to see her cry over this so I agreed..word of advice only do this if there’s a legit Christian root to avoid being swayed by secular ideas.
My cousin recently got cheated on by a man who was a new christian. I have no doubt he was saved, but he was still immature spiritually and they rushed into marriage. Well now he is overseas in the military and sleeping with some woman and simply sent her a letter saying it is over and has no intention to talk to her again. Bottom line is that you are right. It is far better to make good and sure that someone is truly secure in their faith, otherwise they can and likely will fall back into a degenerate lifestyle.
I've always wanted to know about this question and how that works out. I wish God would give those trying to make it right so much grace. Please send me a godly husband Lord God at 46 years old. Yes, I've never wanted gift of singleness, not one day
At my previous church, I was always pushed to date these single men to the point I wanted nothing to do with getting married. They assumed I was desperate and lonely for a man (because I am in my 30's.) Once I left that ministry, things began to fall into place & I am happy to say I will be getting married next week after being in a relationship for a little over 3 years. 😊
this was encouraging to read. I`m in the same spot and I`m 27. I don`t feel desperate yet but people around me make me go crazy, if anything it turns me off from men and marriage :(
Congrats! Wise decision leaving.
Awesome to hear, your testimony can help others! I wish you nothing but the best in your marriage and congrats - God bless you and surround you and your new family. Exciting times 🤗
congrats to you
Amen ❤
This is NOT only a struggle for young people. I’m 62 years old and have been single for 26 years. I still struggle with lust and it’s heartbreaking when I slip. I love the Lord and I desire obedience in all ways. I know we all fall short but this seems to be a sin apart from others. Thank you for this video and look forward to anything more. I will be victorious as ANYTHING is possible with Christ Jesus!
So what is the right reason for marriage? Companionship?
The right reason for marriage is indeed companionship, as well as procreation, and sanctification... Nothing shapes a man or woman into the image of Christ like that person you love, and have to love.
Why haven't you married?
Finally! A man that can admit that women need physical attraction!
Sounds like the One Who Lives Forever is truly at work in you.
I married a nonbeliever when I was a nonbeliever, and now I'm on fire for Jesus and can never deny he is real again. The best advice I can give everyone reading this is to find someone who loves Jesus more than they love you, and the vast majority of your issues will work themselves out. God's plan is always the best plan. Being in love with someone who denies Jesus is worse than being single.
That was me for a while, Can agree. My deepest prayers for you and your relationship, I know how hard and dark and sad it can be. Please never Choose anything else over God. I hope you never reach the point where one day you think you need to pick between the two, or that you need to denounce God to be happy with your wife. Stay on fire
@@gsanchez5116 I've met Jesus. There is no turning back for me now. I'm doing God’s work for the rest of my days. Eventually, Jesus will reach her. I have to be patient and give it time.
Been there and done that. I had never been so stressed out in my life. He ended up leaving me for my faith. I am going to say a prayer for your marriage and that your wife will come to Christ.
Hi Corey can u help me a litt!e bit, i am wondering what made u believe wholeheartedly in Jesus, i'm finding it hard to accept the Bible, God and Jesus as being real 😢
But i want to believe..
Got born again recently in April and this spiritual walk has been beautiful. I thank God for the gift of sexual control and even since i recieved Christ, i trully stopped stressing myself on issues of marriage. Am 38,single,no kids and alot of people especially family look down on me for they feel i don't belong. I gave God my all and i believe and trust His plans for my life. True i desire to get married to a Godly man who will love God even much more than me, but at this point, am working more on finding my purpose and calling in God's Kingdom.
May God bless you.
Congrats to your faith leading you through by His Spirit!
Your life sounds awesome! Single with God, that’s the dream haha
Amen! Beautiful testimony!
I’m glad a Bible teacher is addressing this topic because not many people in the church really break down and explain these things. They expect you to be married by a certain age… but never tell you how to go about seeking or searching for a spouse.
I was married for 15 years and now I have been celibate for almost 2.5 years; by the grace of God. You have to run to God and be honest with him about your desires because if you want to be kept, God will keep you. I remember crying out to him and being honest about having sex outside of marriage and he gave me three words; he did not say," I understand, you are human," he did not say," I understand because you are a man", he just said, " to your detriment!" You have to ask him for the grace to stay pure because its his will that you stay pure. You also must guard your eyes, mind, and thoughts. Tell him your struggles. I don't want to offend him because he has never offended me, so I run to him. After all- he is the Lord of all flesh
@ivoriruth my pleasure! you are beautiful
@Chesna Robyn Hill my pleasure stunning
@@HasanUnknown Thanks; Jesus is the son of Almighty God; Jesus is God, Jesus is the way to God, Jesus is the Righteousness of God, Jesus is the brightness of God's glory, Jesus is the word of God, who was in the beginning with God. Jesus declares, he that has seen me has seen the Father, He also says, I and my Father (God) are one. The Father also says that he (God) has given his son (Jesus) a name that is above every name and at the name of Jesus; every knee will bow and every tongue will confess to God, that Jesus Christ is Lord
Jesus is alive still
Amen 🙌🏿🙌🏿
I have been dating a woman for 7 months now. She truly is a gift from God. Never in my life would I ever believe I would have someone like her in my life.
Same here bro, same here!
How did you make the move? I’m in my early 20’s and have a girl I’m interested in. Making a first move is very difficult for me.
An old man told me this when I was young, "Love is blind but marriage openeth the eye."
True!!
Quality of a partner
1. Attraction/chemistry
2. Companionship
3. Character - Godly, Christ like character
4. Calling - Do your callings align?
5. Community - Does your spiritual community think you're a good match for eachother?
Hello,
Number 5 is too much I think that relying on people's opinion in church to choose a woman/ man to marry is bad.
I'm not saying that is wrong to listen to people but to choose someone or some people you know that are genuine and that truly love the couple, and to remember that the finale decision belongs to you and your partner.
I go to a church where there has been a lot of people in similar situations and their relationships were ruined, judged, etc.
Often times opinions become gossip and the source of it is jealousy.
Just sharing about what I've seen happen.
Single and struggling! But I'm thankful that self-control is a part of the fruit of the Spirit. I've noticed as I get older I'm having to rely on Him more and more everyday in this area and am thankful to know that I'm not alone! Thanks for this video brother Allen!
Another banger! Yup, this describes me perfectly. Single and DO NOT have the gift of singleness. It’s definitely a struggle. I liked the point on paying attention to a persons character. That’s been really big for me lately. And thank you for clarifying that we SHOULD be attracted to a potential spouse. Christian circles tend to miss that.
It's touchy be seems most men take that truly to a new level and it doesn't matter about the character at all.
This isn’t a matter of singleness being a gift or not depending on who you are. While you are single, singleness is ALWAYS a gift that God gives everyone for a time (until you get married) or forever (if you die unmarried). He desires us to use our time wisely while we single to build our faith and grow His Kingdom
@@DingMedia Good word. My heart goes out to those desiring marriage and still waiting. It us a hard place to be in and ut can take something out of a person living with unfulfilled longings. Wonder why God created man for a wife and both to create FAMILY yet some may never even know it? Or those who have no desire to really marry yet they get pursued?
@@ladyj5682 I think it all comes down to the way God originally designed it vs the way sin destroyed it. In God's original plan (i.e. Eden), there was no risk associated with a man and woman marrying and starting a family, because no one knew how to sin, or wanted to. In today's world, the chances of a truly godly marriage (even in the hands of people who truly want to be obedient to God) are so low that some of us just stay single to avoid messing up. That may be why the disciples said it's better for a man not to marry, and Jesus didn't disagree with them.
@@nameirrelevant0 Yet God said b fruitful and multiple. It's not good for man to be alone. Don't let fear keep you from experiencing something God created. Marriage was created by God and I truly believe two people truly seeking God and leaning on Him will make it. Just ask God to truly show you. All we can do is make the best decision we can and move forward in faith. I struggle with fear more than I want to own up to and hope God will free me but I need to get in His word
I’m struggling with my singleness more and more as I get older. I’m 32/single and can’t help but feel depressed about my situation. I feel guilty because I’m supposed to be content in Christ, but I can’t shake this aching desire to be a wife. To have someone to share my life with. Most people around me are in relationships and I’m the only oddball that’s always single. I can’t talk to people about church about the sadness I feel because they give me the same tired/judgmental responses. Only God knows my pain. If I’m to live like this for the rest of my life, I at least want to be satisfied with it.
The only answer is to get closer to Christ, and when you do, God will most likely give you a wife.
If you feel you still have faults, then repent of them and let God help you to work them out, so that they plague you less and less. Then you won't be so worried and insecure, and the peace and joy of the Lord will come more into your heart, and then manifest in your life more.
One will become more humble and inviting to others when they do this.
First things first you have to enjoy being single. Then God will give you the disirer of your heart
@@michaelalbertson7457 I think this person is a lady seeing as they mentioned "an aching desire to be a wife" 😊
Single is hard. Alot of married people don't understand & many give u the side eye. Keep pursuing Jesus & I'm sure He'll send a great spouse.
Hey BEAT family. This video hits home for me since I lived it for so long. I pray that you find it to be an encouragement to you.
God makes it very clear in the Bible numerous times that fornicators won't see the kingdom of heaven, making it seem like they aren't Christians. So I pray for the singles out there to stay chaste.
I wonder if poverty or lack of financial success plays into why some are single?
@@kingquest2025 that’s irrelevant. Ive had periods of. Both financially prosperous and poverty. I guess we are blessed to be with a partner or not. Also this question doesn’t make since since poor people get married and have at least 4 children. Financial success and lack thereof, have no correlation. I’m unfortunately miserably single and have been on both ends of the spectrum. Sounds like youre not single.
Amen
@@donnacapps7263 Fornication is sexual immorality things like LGTBQ and Bestiality and pedophilia and also a rapist i will said and paying money for sex which is basically being prostitution that is what fornication is sexual immorality evil and sinners it doesn’t mean in any sense a men and women having sex also if a man and women had been for years together they are married into the eyes of God they don’t need to married in the Earth tradition the sex before marriage thing had been malinterpretate for decades ago they don’t even know what fornication is is not what they teach you in the church look at the Bible fornication means sexual immorality many unnatural and evil sexual acts not men and women and fornication is the sin that leads people to hell the most i will said over idolatry
When I was younger I couldn't imagine anyone wanting the gift of celibacy. But now that I'm a widow, I'm so glad I have it. I'm not suffering the drama that comes with starting a new relationship. I sleep peacefully at night, not tossing and turning and crying about what I'm missing. I just wish my Christian friends would stop questioning my decision not to re-marry and let me enjoy this gift from God.
I'm a 27 year old virgin with zero relationship experience and have and still am struggling with masturbation and impure thoughts after 14 long years. I came to God at young adult service two years ago and still battle the same struggles. Yes I too hope to be married and not base it entirely on sexual desires but on companionship. My desire for marriage is either my own or from the Lord in which I'm thankful. Deep down I'm in need of big change and desire to serve him out of my comfort zone and also glorify him in my marriage. If you could pray for me that will be much appreciated! Thank you and God bless! 💖
First of all go to Apostolic Church for the fullness of Truth, and have an Eucharist. You won't find the true Flesh and Body of Jesus in nowadays protestantism.
It took long but when God led me this I saw it now. That struggle stems from selfishness and pride, we are to repent( that is change your way of thinking) and fear and honor God.
You might need deliverance to rid those thoights, or laying of hands to receive the holy spirit
Hey mate there’s a video that helped me, how to date Ben Stuart.
Nick, I've been there, brother. Pretty much exactly how you described it. The only difference is the Lord taught me how to stop after He saved me. It was definitely Him that did most of the heavy lifting, but know that He provides you with a way of escape. Through the Holy Spirit, God always gives you a way of escape from your temptations. If we fall to them, it's on us. It's not God's fault, it's ours. The second thing that helped me tremendously is this; think about God/scripture when temptations arise. Figure out your trigger and figure out the verse you know you can't talk yourself out of believing. For me, it was the one from the beatitudes. "You've heard it said 'you shall not commit adultery', but I say to you whosoever looks upon a woman and lusts for her commits adultery with her in his heart." Quoting relevant scripture will remove or at least make the desire tolerable. This is what Jesus did when He was tempted in the garden. The third thing that helped me is this; avoid your triggers at all costs. Don't just try to look past them or not click on them, don't even go to the app or the site in the first place. For instance, if you know you'll get tempted on Facebook, don't use Facebook. If you know there will be pretty and loosely dressed women at the store and that always tempts you, figure out a different way to get the stuff you buy. This isn't something you'll have to do forever, just until you start to build better habits. But only get back on Facebook after you know you can handle it not any sooner.
Having people to keep you accountable also helps. Tell someone (a wise, Godly mature person) about it and tell them your plan of attack. Give them the authority to bring council you if they see you slipping, then listen to their correction.
Lastly, you don't have to be part of a certain church or anything to "fix" your problem. Temptations will always come, contrary to what people try to convince others with, it's up to us to have the discipline to be tempted and walk away. It can be done. Every time we succumb to our temptations, we are essentially driving the nails into Jesus ourselves and putting Him on that cross.
I hope this helps you as it did me. These were hard-learned lessons and I continue to use them to this day. I haven't slipped up in over 3 1/2 years, since I started implementation. God be with you, my friend.
*Whoever is reading this, God has a plan, trust the process* 💜💜
Love, a Christian youtuber 💜
Love your videos women of God
God bless you 🤍
I'm NOT waiting for my 'faith community" to be okay with me getting married (been burnt like this before and refuse to go through it again).
I've been happily
married for 20 + years and this was so good for me to listen to because it asks me to ask some very good questions about my relationship and where I need to do some work
Thank You Jesus for this ministry through Brother Allen and bless all of his days for the calling You have over Allen's life
Amen
Love love love this video, brother Allen! I’m 28, never been in a relationship or had sex. Although all my life I had a strong desire for sex and for a long time my mind was filled with filthy thoughts and downright toxic ideologies about what relationships should be.
After recommitting to Christ and allowing Him to shape my view of relationships and what part sex should play within a healthy relationship, my outlook has improved so much. I’m not desperate to feed into the attention of every man that looks my way and I’m more content and relaxed in this season of singleness that God currently has me in.
Naturally, I still would like to get married some day but God has blessed me with patience for His timing. He is blessing me to understand that there is so much else going on that He wants me to currently focus on, planting seeds in every area of my life. God has blessed me with the reassurance that if it is in His Will for me to get married, then when He blesses it to happen in His perfect timing I will finally be allowed to understand why it never worked out with anyone else. God is personally writing my love story and anything that is surrendered to God is something that I know for a fact will work out for good and peace.
All glory and honor to God Almighty Who will do abundantly above and beyond anything we can ask or think🥰
Hey. I am 25. Single. Never been in a relationship nor had sex. I'm a God fearing and serving woman. Let's get married 😍
From Africa 😁
What a beautiful story! You are so strong in the spirit!
@@simphiwe_nontsikelelo If I read correctly, she's also woman. She said she doesn't entertain every guy who comes her way. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I'm 27 and from South Africa 😏 I'm a man 😉
@@Lebone_Bona-fide from Eswatini 😁my parents are Zulu speaking Swatis
I married an attractive woman who wasn't a believer, partially so I could have sex. The marriage was miserable, and did me far more damage than the loneliness had done. I often wished I could be single again. When I found proof of infidelity, I felt relief that I could finally get divorced. So sex isn't everything.
Sex is not everything 🙌
The marriage was definitely miserable because you are devoid of love.
Thanks for sharing. 🤗
NO matter how beautiful a women is, if you have sex everyday with the same person, you will get bored in a few weeks.
This happened to me as well. I have learned my lesson. I will never do it again. I will never help god out I will be patient and wait on him because if I do it I am going to cause myself pain.
I've done absolutely nothing sexual (thanks to Allen), for nearly 3 years and sometimes I just want to bang my head against a wall. My sexual desire is beyond fighting a pornography/masturbation addiction - it's fighting my basic human instincts to procreate. Alcoholism is horrible but it's not built into our DNA like procreation is. Nobody understands...the few people that know (because I can't exactly brag about it) can't begin to understand - my alcoholic father can relate but at least he can tell people and get some sympathy - I just get weird looks like I just grew a third eye. I've been debating finding the first Christian girl I see, marry her in 2 weeks, and fully release my desires. But I know I can't. This video is a good reminder of what matters most. Serving God. I am prepared to serve God as a single man my whole life. This is hard to admit sometimes, but the satisfaction I get from serving God outweighs my desires. If marriage happens, it happens. If not, I'm not going to cry about it. I'm just going to thank God and try to be the best brother, son, and friend I can be.
Hit the nail on the head there
I feel you, like fighting basic human instincts. Whew being born again is a daily walk…
So true my brother
I think this is part of why Ecclesiastes tells us that it's better to be stillborn than to have to go through this life. Even our innermost bodies are trying to get us to go to Hell. I've considered castration myself, but I think what you landed on at the end there is good. Focus on non-eros love, because sexual desire is inherently selfish. Storge, agape, and philo are all selfless, and there's no law against kindness.
If your goal is to get married because of sexual desires. Your marriage isn’t going to last. Hold on and wait , your time is coming ❤
Many people marry all the time just because of sexual desires. Let's not pretend this isn't happening. This is what happens when the church doesn't explain things well.
Fact check false. You can make the marriage last if you want to. I mean, people made marriages last when they had no choice in who they married, instead their parents set them up. It all depends on your attitude and whether you want the relationship to last or not. Remember, this whole “marriage for love” idea is a VERY modern concept, as is probably the reason why so many people are struggling to find “the one”
The problem is the can't wait for sex
Only thing you should wait for is Gods kingdom Mathew 6:33 I see no point of marriage unless it's a Godly union. I don't have time to balance someone in prayer when all I lived is a single life.
@ANTISCAM POLICE I think we assume people are truly living Christian lives. I think most are forced to marry bc pregnancy, someone said not right etc. But the true problem is they were never truly committed to the ways of God in first place. Even lf someone failed and cheated then their heart should be different toward what has happened. There are books out there talking about Christians who do bad things......I haven't read bc I just don't know what to say anymore bc I believe in remnants . There is always only a remnant truly living under God in an evil world
On this particular situation, I am dating a divorced man, he was the second husband of the divorced woman, and now she has remarried for the 3rd time.. we are in our 40's I have never been married I do struggle with the gift of celibacy and lusting for marriage. I do absolutely love and adore him, he feels the same way for me.. after listening to you speak on this topic
I like your videos a lot....I am Christian from India, I request Christians all over the world to please Pray for Christians in India as many Christians face persecutions and attacks by Bajrang Dal, Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP), Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sang (RSS), Hindu Yuva Vahini etc which are para-military forces that target Christian worshipers and Spreaders of the Word of GOD...Here even their persecutions are not getting highlighted as the Mainstream Media is having govt control which supports the organisations I mentioned above....Please Pray for us and Support us as well as all the Christians who face persecutions around the world
Thank you for sharing. Will pray for you all in India!
@@em77775
Thank you so much!!
May the Lord grace and help the brothers and sisters over in India
“When the brother is coming for you at night” took me out 😂😂😂
Same 😂😂😂😭 too real
HAHAHAGDHSGSHSHSHA SAMMME!!!!!🤣👏🏼😂
This is one difficult struggle. I’m a 33 going on 34 single man who works two jobs and has a youth ministry and music ministry at a church that is primarily not my age.
I’m good at my being single, but there’s definitely desires there. I’ve made poor decisions at times as a Christian in this area, luckily by the grace I’ve God He’s in process of redeeming and sanctifying me as I’m praying and seeing who if anyone God has for me.
This is encouraging though. Thank you.
@Sean Austin
The Bible says he that findeth a wife finderh a good thing.
Maybe you need to get away and alone wirh God and seek the Lord for your desires to have a Godly spouse and look to find her.
There are plenty of Godly women who want a Godly man. Aren't You suppose to find her using God's guidance?
Don't use women or string them along.
Marry her.
@@paulettepoole5476 I appreciate the encouragement.
Hi Sean
@@kayleencoward2442 hello?
I'm talking to this girl I met in church she seems fun and I think she gets me I pray the Lord sorts us out🙏
Stona I don’t think she will love you dawg females only like you if you’re handsome or rich. Most of them are gold diggers and trash🤮😐
@@champion3859 hey I got looks and I've never had a problem with girls except when I was in primary but got older and God blessed me a deep voice and a sense of humour which girls like plus I'm in Malawi the girls here aren't the same as in the that side of the world
@@stonaman8712 the heart is deceptively wicked.
single and not completely liking it. But surprised and glad that somebody like Allen understands that seeking and finding a potential relationship that leads to or could lead to marriage isn't as easy as going shopping for groceries, clothes or a new tv. I feel like Paul pretty much says if you don't have the gift of celibacy then get married as if it was just that easy as shopping and not considering other factors except don't marry an unbeliever.
I think it’s really hard to wait on the perfect person to come into your life when every day you are struggling with the problem of lust. As a Christian man I think it’s the most difficult struggle. You not only have to battle your own insecurities sometimes when it comes to engaging females but then you have to hope that the perfect women comes into your life that not only meets your spiritual qualifications and your attractive qualifications and personality qualifications but you have to hope that you don’t mess it up by falling into sin with that person.
45 yrs old and never married. Its hard because God knows the desire's of my heart but yet I'm still single.
Same, it seems harder when your a woman because we can’t do the searching or asking lol. But in Gods timing, praying for women like us.
@@ladybird2356 Yes all in Gods timing! Amen!
Ditto
Same here. But I know God has a plan for me. Maybe marriage is not part of it.
@@ladybird2356 Women can at least make sure they are out there, and reasonably accessible. A man who doesn't know you can't pursue you. A man who has not access to you can't pursue you. It is necessary to participate to social activities where the kind of men you are praying might attend. While there, be friendly. No need to act desperate or seductively, just be nice to everyone, women included, and leave the rest to God.
I needed this video
I was struggling as a young Christian, then as I matured I learnt self-control. Then the pressure I felt from church and the constant questionning, along with death of both parents, my imminent marriage called of 10 days before and lots of other things as I reached 40 impacted me so much I fell badly. Now 15 years later God is back at his rightful place. I work with people who got married wrongly and the abuse, fear, depression, unhappiness, stress, hatred that I see made me realise BE healed before you ATTACH with another person. The more healed you are the less problems you have to work through. My life is absolutely amazing and this is the life my husband will experience when we get married.
I do not believe only people who have no self control are the ones for marriage, it is to help them. The best people to get married are healed and holy people so we bring forth healed and holy children.
So I took notes for this topic because it will help a lot of single men or women out there. Thank you brother!
5 Essential Qualities to Look for in a Mate
1. Chemistry
Am I physically attracted to this person?
2. Companionship
Do I enjoy their company?
Am I able to be myself around them?
Am I able to be vulnerable and transparent around them?
Do we have common interests?
Do we have enjoyable, meaningful and deep conversations?
3. Character
Does this person have godly Christ-like character?
Are they a person of integrity?
How do they treat people?
Are they honest?
4. Calling
Does their calling in their lives align with yours?
5. Community
Does my spiritual community feel we are a good match for each other?
Do we even have a godly community involved in our relationship?
After reading all this, should you even get married at all?
3 Essential questions single must ask whether or not you should even get married.
How much self-control can I exercise as a single person while I'm waiting?
How can I be INTENTIONAL (men) about finding the right person to marry?
When I marry, am I ready to stay married for life?
Thank you for this! It confirms that the relationship I was in wasn't right. And the "common interests" and "person of integrity" you can't see that right away; you need to take the time. And the community, because just spending time alone together is not good, especially in either of your homes with no one else. Bless you brother
I'm still single and still waiting for the right person from the Lord 🙏🏼😇
The focus should be on becoming the right person for someone. There are a lot of Christians waiting for the right person but when you take their life objectively you realize that their "right person" would want nothing to do with them as they are now. We have our part to play. God bless you.
I’m single and 34 I had to sit with a pen and paper so I could retain this wise council to help and guide me in ma search and one gift I’m thankful to God is self control. God sustains u brother Allen
Hardest thing to be honest is being in your mid 20's but still doing school, and not yet having the finances for marriage. I've fallen into sexual scene in the past and I don't want to fall again, but when I look at getting married, it seems to be far from me.
I’m in the same boat. I have someone I’m interested in but I have no idea how to make a move. She goes to my church so if things don’t go well I’m afraid it’ll be awkward for us. I’m in my early 20’s & had only 1 relationship which was before I truly knew Christ.
I feel the same way tbh. I just know that I’m not financially or emotionally ready for a marriage, but also can’t indulge in sexual sin. The way I see it is God is most likely trying to tell us that our time for marriage hasn’t come yet. I will say though that asking God for strength and to lead me away from temptation, has helped a LOT. God will give you the strength to endure if you ask, trust me. :)
@@BenefitExploits just lay it at Jesus feet and let him work it.
This kind of thinking is why my mom and aunts weren't allowed to date for very long back in the 70s. My grandaddy was the pastor so the dating was brief and the engagement was brief too. They pushed folks to get married really quickly. My parents met in February, got engaged in April, and were married in June all in the same year! I was born the next year and 13 years later they were divorced. We can't force people into marriage.
you're missing the point. Nobody with a brain is forcing anyone to rush to marriage
Maybe host a singles party, like Ruslan did?? His crew were mostly in their 20’s. I’m a 41 single woman and understand the weight of marriage. It has to be the right, God ordained spouse, or I don’t want it!
I would attend a singles party! Count me in.
Nah, singles events organized by churches tend to be awkward. Preferably, churches should organize and include young Christians in charity events.
Naturally, organically, young Christians can meet in a setting where they’re serving others.
They can even assess the work ethic of their team members - an indicator if they can work together in marriage.
Not a bad setup, in my estimation.
Your teaching on single and marriage had help tremendous ly!! I thank God for you!! God bless you in your ministry forever. I am 64 and seeking for a husband.
I'm single and I can't stand it anymore. I don't see it as a gift anymore. I want to be married but I'm not just going to pick anyone. I'm tired of waiting 🥺😡
Hang in there from a 50+ year old! The worst is to be in a relationship at the wrong time!
Keep yourself busy with serving God and living the purpose He has for your life. Find things that you like to do in your spare time. The desire won't wear off, but at least you won't have the time to dwell on it. God knows desires of your heart and will fulfill them as long as you delight in Him. God bless.
It's like I'm taking it now more of a sorry to a curse rather than a blessing. All I do is wait, and wait and wait... I see everyone else getting married and I'm left with saying what about me God. I just had to speak my truth.
I keep myself busy and but I keep coming back to the thought. I don't want to be single anymore. I want to be in love and married. I know relationships take work.. but still I am single. I'm tired of it. 🤗
I'm 55 yrs old ... I know the bibles says I have waited on the and he's heard my cry and set my feet on a rock.. I get tired of being lonely. I'm not desperate just tired of waiting lol if that makes sense.. I
Allan, I appreciated this video. I am divorced now for over 2 years. My wife left to fulfill what she said she missed in her 20s. We had been married for 24 years. She surprised me with divorce papers over Father's Day weekend in 2020. We have 6 kids together and they were devastated. Upon my divorce, my church family ignored me and stopped all communications with me. I struggle daily as I would like to find a partner again, but I feel like I am sinning if I date and marry another woman.
I’m single and I’m praying for more self control before I get married
Good Morning Allen ! Yess this is the one right here ! It is much more normal in todays times to just freely do it with whomever you want whenever you want and its totally fine. I didnt grow up in a home where Celibacy was even mentioned, so i had a few test runs before my marriage ! Now its our time to break that generational curse and let our children know about this ! Ima say it EVERY time you drop a new video *I LOVE THIS SERIES !* God Bless You Brother Parr ! 💞 Have a wonderful weekend ! 💞
I married my husband for love, we just celebrated our 30yrs together. I know in my heart that if my husband passed away before me (GOD FORBID), I would never love or marry again. In Christ I believe, Amen.
Splendid, those last questions are questions I asked myself. And i can conclude that the Holy Spirit is helping me to wait despite how I feel. Thank you Bro. Allen
The most beautiful thing created by God is the woman and the most attractive quality about a woman is when she speaks about her love for The Lord..
🙏🏿
The REAL and EXISTING CREATOR KNOWS THAT -
All Atheists, Agnostics, Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, and all liars, arrogant, and hateful persons who rejected the BIBLICAL teachings of Jesus Christ about the Kingdom of God and Resurrection of the Dead as worthless and useless will just become worthless and useless dusts on earth forever after their deaths.
The REAL and EXISTING ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS, CHRISTIANS, HINDUS, MUSLIMS, BUDDHISTS, and all LIARS and HATEFUL PERSONS DON'T KNOW THAT -
All submissive and obedient human beings who put their faith and hope in the BIBLICAL teachings of Jesus Christ about the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead" will be rewarded and honored by the Creator with ETERNAL LIFE and existence on a safe and peaceful planet earth without sufferings, pains, griefs, sickness, and deaths, without terrorists, criminals, and militaries, without arrogant and hateful atheists, agnostics, and fanatics of religions, without liars, slanderers, deceivers, hypocrites, without funeral homes and cemeteries.
Worshippers of the Creator who died thousands of years ago like Abel, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, King David, Jesus Christ's disciples and many others will be resurrected back to life by Jesus Christ at the Creator's own good time.
Worshippers of the Creator and believers of the Christ will fully enjoy the eternal love, kindness, generosities, compassions, favors, and blessings of the Creator and his Christ for eternity as subjects of the "Kingdom of God" under the loving rulership, guidance, and protection of the Creator's Chosen King, his Christ.
Pastor flowers dug deep on this too... so definitely should check that out also
This is right on time for me. Single and struggling with myself and only myself. 😂
I think for all of us
How long have you been “single” 🤣 I was gonna try and encourage you (it can’t be as bad as me or as long as me) 🤣
Praying for the Lord will bring you the right person.
I an single man looking for a right woman
@@sweetman5249 same
Super encouraged, 🔥 the Most High is our strength and I desire to honor his way.
Thanks so much for this video. I was really really really, did I say really struggling with this SIN for years even though I’ve been a Christian all my life. I’m in a much better place now and I am now celibate and loving it. It took a lot of prayer and basically me failing at every relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m still somewhat attractive and I’m a single mother of two very handsome teenage boys but have no desire to be in another relationship and for me that has to be God, I couldn’t do that in my own strength. If it is the Father’s will for me to be married he’ll basically have to come to me and say to me Marsha it’s ok, I give you my approval… lol. Thanks again though.
I'm 40 years old and a virgin, I struggle with sexual urges all the time, but I'm currently not working and have been trying to get on disability. I've spent 7 years trying to get on disability, but to no success, so I'm trying to learn how to do web development and if I can I'll try to start working. I would love to have a partner in life, but I remember how I was when I was younger, I burned so much with passion I couldn't keep my hands off the women I got with. I don't know what to do and its very frustrating. I also have gotten addicted to pornography and pleasuring myself, and I find that I get back into it after a long time of not doing it. I'm just a mess, but with God, I'll overcome this!
It took long but when God led me this I saw it now. That struggle stems from selfishness and pride, we are to repent( that is change your way of thinking) and fear and honor God.
Hi Brandon thanks for sharing your story. Change comes from within and we all have that thorn in our sides but God's grace is sufficient for us. Yes I know sometimes easier said than done however you have to make that effort to change. You can't clean out your house and leave it empty. Find other hobbies, create new habits, read a book, the bible, start a journal, take a walk, go to the park, join a club, volunteer. If you belong to a church group get involved. Most importantly be honest with yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself. God's Blessings
Hey Allen, God bless you for your videos.
I’m an unmarried mother, who desires to be married..and leaning HARD on Almighty God regarding remaining abstinent..But it’s really not easy, emotions at times be running real high…but I will continue to trust in Him🙏🏿🙌🏾
Thank you once again
If I might share wisdom, it’s this:
1 Corinthians 7 is clear. You have to throw out all of your pre conceived ideas because the call is bigger than you think. Paul says to marry if your burning BECAUSE the end of all things is near. He adds how we shouldn’t have any dealings with the world, how we should live as if we’re not married or to not weep if you are at this said time [im quoting parts from the end of the chapter], to not rejoice if you are and so on, all to ultimately sums up his points by saying:
“the time has been shortened” [v29] and, “the form of this world is passing away.” [v31].
He’s drawing the reader to understand that we want to be LIKE those who are “free from concern”, and who seek to “please the LORD” and not their spouses. How one “may be holy both in body and spirit” and not divided. His desire is for us to “to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.” So because of immoralities, because “each man has his own gift from God”, and because it’s harder for some to now practice self control, it’s Paul calling the communities to practice such a radical measure that goes so against the grain of how we think we should date or marry or find “the one”, or even take time for engagement or planning of weddings for all the family to see “at the best time”, solely for the sake of righteousness- to fulfill all righteousness and not be distracted with the burning passions of the flesh that go unfulfilled, or acting in a manner that transgresses the commandments of God.
To the couple who marries in this way, it should be not for the sake of lust, but rather because lust is waging war with ones ability to hold fast the commands of God. So you should see then marriage as not a dating venture, but as a Gods given grace to you FOR purity.
[Also, I did this, and me and my beloved wife are living in light of eternity, waiting for the Kingdom of Messiah, so it’s true that the person shouldn’t be any one right off the street or from your past whom you know is not a believer- my advice would be to test each other. Be upfront about your desire to be obedient to the commands of God, and your looking for a partner to help you in a way that no one else can as you both see yourselves as sojourners. For my marriage, we didn’t need all these points Parr brought up, IN LIGHT of living out 1 Corinthians 7 because we both had the same goal- to go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the God of Jacob, to be students of Messiah and walk in His paths. For the Law comes forth from Zion and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. It’s from that conviction, that marrying in light of eternity made much sense where we wasn’t checking off criteria on how to please each other or how we can by our interests as Paul was advising not to do. I do believe in being equally yoked, so again I’m not saying marry anyone. But if you both are very mature in the faith, not looking to play church but truly sojourn with the people of God, and imitate the faith of those from Hebrews 11, then I’d advise this for you.]
I still find it hard to believe that you didn't get married until you were 40 years old, just because you don't even look like fourty years old.
Exactly!!
Some are blessed with youthful looks 😁 as well as some take a more healthy approach to life than others 🙏🏻
You'll never attract your spouse on the long term if you give her the feeling that you use her to fill your sexual desires. The worst reason to look for somebody... Never go into a reationship with the question of what you'll get in it without the more important question of what you're ready to bring into it. If you're not ready to live in sacrificial love, don't get married !
When I was in my 20s, I married a woman that I didn't love for the purpose of sex. I can personally testify that this is NOT the answer. My marriage was absolutely miserable and it ended in divorce. I beg and plead with all young Christian men and women: WAIT for God and WAIT for the right person. Waiting always pays off when it is blessed by God. His plan is always better than our plan. Purity may be hard, but it is far better than entering marriage with the wrong person just so you can have sex. You will quickly realize how little sex you actually end up having in a bad marriage that is not founded in love and respect for one another. If you are struggling to stay pure while waiting, talk to your pastor or other men at your church to keep you accountable.
THANK YOU FOR THIS! I've been dealing this conundrum for awhile!
I read through that chapter and thought it said what it is, and you explained that very well to the point where I thought the Apostle was saying to believers.
(Since the sexual immorality has been rising rampant in this today's culture. Specifically here in America. You see Only Fans rising where people don't care for marriages.)
Based on my history and the initial spark from seeing "porn", it has gotten back to me after a while of being free from it. Social media and their "pro-Porn" of not taking much down of lewd or the female's promotion of their Onlyfans has gotten worst.
So, struggling in that Lust department has been a big challenge to deal with.
P.S. I agree with mostly of that Companionship there, and the others that you listed. It is quite vital to look in the opposite sex there to see if they match with you.
I have been single for twenty years as a virgin. I am thirty-eight years old. I have prayed to God for a wife, and someone has prophesied a bridal engagement to me, but the prophesy was only in part and didn't name any names or exact dates, or any other details, except for her approach with an instruction that I embrace her. In light of this, I thought of having a family appointed match-maker (we don't have one currently) set me up with someone, but I didn't want to make Abraham's mistake of trying to do things my own way when God has already appointed someone: so I'm pretty much left in limbo with this as a topic for discussion - but no sex so far. On the plus side, the prophesy has done wonders to increase my confidence.
Currently single after a few girlfriends that I knew were not for me. I'm focusing on improving spiritual, physical, social, mental, and financial health until finding someone the one who will fit into my frame. May the Lord bless me with wisdom to continue becoming the man who will fulfill desires of my future spouse and to choose wisely.
Great video! First and foremost, thank you for saying that it's okay to be single. The other day, I was just reading a Facebook post about how the Church often rushes women to get married. (Find your Boaz/kingdom spouse in 6 months! Guaranteed! *eyeroll*) Thankfully, my current church home doesn't make me feel that I need to get married before the 2024 election. Secondly, thank you also for saying that physical attraction matters with men AND women. In the future, I don't want to wake up next to my husband and be horrified. I also want to add that if people are getting married just to have sex, then they should get counseling. I learned from married family members and friends that marriage is more than just having sex. I do desire a husband to share my life with, but I feel that I'm not in a rush because my life is full as it is (with my relationship with God, family - I have no children, work, business, ministry, friends, self-care). I just believe God that I will get married on His timing.
Going to share this video: so much in here single Christians need to hear!
This is such a timely lesson. Thank you for be an obedient servant. Thank you for using the word of God to help his people.
Thanks for the information.
Sometimes we know the right person it just not the right time. For its important to heal from past trauma past relationships so you don’t bring that mental baggage to the relationship
Let go of our desires. Keep them as preferences and by letting go of that burning feeling, you allow yourself to be contemptuous and be satisfied with God alone. Just tell God that. I give up on this desire, if you want me to then I will but if you don't then I won't and that is fine. It gives peace but is easier said than done.
BRO!!!! I’ve been in this position for a hot min!!! I was just thinking about this… this was much needed. God bless y’all, trust God trust the process
One way that can help ones with their burning desies is to think about the sexual diseases they can catch as well as the people who are hiding their homosexuality and sleeping with them and their same sex partner
Heading to 50 in 2.5 years and still a single Christian. Been a Christian for 29 years now. I’m sad that I won’t be a wife and mother.😢 Here’s to a soon-to-be 50 old virgin
As a long time married man let me tell you that you are commanded by God himself to stay that way, I don't even know if Christian Churches should be remarrying people at all yet preachers seem to have no problem with it, as the shepherd I believe that this should be taught more especially when young (or like in your case not as young) people are getting married for the first time they need to be informed about God's commandment, I was informed before I got married and we went through a fairly long premarital counseling and I was surprised that not one word was spoken about staying married outside of the ceremony but Christians need to know while the church continues to be silent on the matter, now that former minister resigned and stopped preaching, then he started dating another woman, then he divorced his wife and gave up the rights to his disabled daughter and completely gave up on Christianity and the church leadership remains silent come on guys this is important let's make certain that we understand that staying with the woman of our youth is important.
Existing on planet earth are liars and hateful human beings
Also existing are submissive and obedient human beings
The BIBLE is also existing on planet earth
THE REAL AND EXISTING BIBLICAL BATTLE TO THE DEATH -
THE CREATOR and JESUS CHRIST
VS.
LIARS and HATEFUL HUMAN BEINGS.
ETERNAL DEATH FOR THE VANQUISHED -
All LIARS and hateful human beings who HATE the Creator and believe the LIES and UNBIBLICAL teachings and doctrines of the anti-Christs Teachers, Leaders, and Pastors of the Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, etc. about "Armageddon", "Hellfire", "Trinity", "Rapture", and "Reincarnation" will just become worthless and useless dusts on earth forever after their deaths.
ETERNAL LIFE AND EXISTENCE ON EARTH FOR SUBMISSIVE AND OBEDIENT HUMAN BEINGS -
All submissive and obedient human beings who honor and obey the Creator and believe the BIBLICAL teachings of Jesus Christ about the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead" as TRUTH will be rewarded and honored by the Creator with ETERNAL LIFE and existence on a safe and peaceful planet earth without sufferings, pains, griefs, sickness, and deaths.
The "Kingdom of God" or Rulership of God through his Christ will ensure that planet earth is safe, peaceful and without terrorists, criminals, and militaries, without liars and hateful atheists, agnostics, and fanatics of religions, without slanderers, deceivers, and hypocrites, without funeral homes and cemeteries.
The teaching of Jesus Christ about the "Resurrection of the Dead" is the guarantee that all worshippers of the Creator and believers of his Christ who died even thousands of years ago like Abel, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, King David, Jesus Christ's disciples and many others will be resurrected back to life by Jesus Christ in the Creator's own right time.
ETERNAL LIFE and existence on earth means all worshippers of the Creator and believers of his Christ will fully enjoy the eternal love, kindness, generosities, compassions, favors, and blessings of the Creator and his Christ for eternity as submissive and obedient subjects of the "Kingdom of God" under the loving rulership, guidance, and protection of the Creator's Chosen King and Ruler, his Christ.
Are you physically attracted to them? This point is very important, I am always being told it doesn't matter as I should only be spiritually attracted. I know for sure that this is not true. I watched a lot of marriages; especially Christian marriages fail because they had no attraction to each other. Sometimes in the church, we are seen as bad people for not being attracted to the who they try to force us to date in the church. I was considered offensive for sharing that I want an attractive husband as I know I take care of myself and would want someone I find attractive. (I also face the challenge of being looked down upon because I like to date outside of my ethnicity. Oh well…)
Do I enjoy their company? Am I able to be vulnerable? What is their character? What is their calling? This where I struggle as it is hard to find men of God with the same passion and desire for God as myself. Sadly, there are hardly any men in the church. Some people get too religious and show no love or empathy in the home but acts concern and holy at church. Many times, the husbandly and wifely duties are not balanced because they are only focused on the ministry. Very powerful points! I’m still prayerful for my husband as the journey is not easy but I know it’s worth it.
Concerning the issue of 'it's better to marry than burn with lust', I have spent most of my adult life praying for a wife or a fire truck..
😂
Thanks so much for addressing this topic. I have never had a desire for marriage and often wondered if I was even supposed to get married. People have tried to hook me up with a "nice single christian guy" a time or two but I would be the one to drop the ball because I just wasn't interested. Now, that I'm almost 40 and still don't have a desire for marriage, I feel that I might very well have the gift and that's okay. You can be a single christian female with no desire for marriage or children. Thanks for confirming that!
Wow, I’ve literally never heard a woman say they have the gift of singleness. It’s really cool to hear someone say that because it does go against our culture but at the same time it also aligns with what Paul says in the Word. Thanks for sharing your heart!
What I take from this is that my on and off ex of 6 years isn't the one at this moment, and I accept my part in that as well. God revealed to me that I had no idea what love truly was. Now that I'm growing spiritually, our convos revealed that she's placed a relationship with Jesus on the back burner for now. I've prayed that He would do a work on both of our hearts, but as it stands now, I will serve her...as a Christian, as a friend.
God has revealed much to me this month and I must say that.... I never had a clue lol. I cried many times but now I can smile at how helpless I was and am without Him.
Praying for a husband too. I need a Partner in Life and I do hope to find someone who loves Jesus more than anything else🙏
Thank you for this video. I have shared it with my son's (age 20 and 23) who both say they never want to get married or have kids. They think the world is too messed up.
Rebekka I wanna get married, but no one loves me so I’ll be single forever🙂
@@champion3859 hey that’s no true, that’s just a lie from the world. Don’t believe that anymore and watch how your mind changes. 😊😊 God is love!
@@leonforlife8273 It’s true that humans hate me especially females🥲 and I don’t wanna be attracted to females anymore I wish I was gay🙂
@@champion3859 You have just not met that person yet. There are around 8 Billion people on the planet now so unless you have personally spoken to at least 1 billion of them, the "no one loves me" statement is a lie from the pit of hell.
You should honestly ask yourself if there are reasons people would like to stay away from you and what you can do to fix it. Also ask yourself why people would want to be with you and make sure you can offer what people you would want to be with need.
Once it's done, make sure to be in the places the kind of people you are looking for like to be at and leave the rest in God's hands. God bless you.
Your sons are right.
Thank brother Parr for this video; it is the message I needed to hear. Being a man of God who is single and looking for my Queen. Thank you, brother, once again. Great content.
Church has gone wild indeed in this video 😂 but this needs to be spoken about!! 🙌🏻🔥 it’s hard being a single these days with temptation legit EVERYWHERE 😅
Yeah i been single for years and am almost 30 never had sex am a virgin and yeah it is really tough in our world
Hello Brother Allen, I am so happy you are addressing this topic, I wish I would have had this teaching before I got married, we talked about a lot of things, but as time goes on some things change and then we feel stuck because of what the word says about divorce 🤷🏾♀️. Peace and blessings to you🙏🏾
God Bless You man this video is one for the masses! This is a question I’ve personally had for a few yrs but didn’t have the courage to ask so this helps tremendously. I appreciate the break done and simplicity in explanation. I don’t know you but as a fellow believer and I love you and the ministry God has put inside of you. Keep em coming my brother!
Sexual desire should motivate you to get married but it shouldn’t be your only purpose.
God tells us to seek his kingdom and righteousness FIRST.
Brother Allen! You better go head and preach!
Don't forget 1 Corinthians 7:15. If an unbeliever departs, you are not under bondage anymore, God has called us to peace
You know what Allen something is telling me this video you put together has or will help alot of people. This is the kind of video that seems to be hard to find on RUclips, but is much needed.
This is the topic I been struggling with for many months, thanks for the posting. And oddly enough youtube has recommended anything from your channel in many months.
There’s no such thing as “the right one”. Every person probably has 2-3 “eligible” marriage candidates in their life, they just “don’t want them”. This is typically because they don’t find the person all that physically attractive. This is the problem with modern day relationships. There too much emphasis on the physical and not enough on the stuff that matters. No one marries anyone from their friend group, which is mind-blowing to me. Like, I would want to be friends with my future spouse before I got involved romantically, because I want to see them as a person before feelings and all get involved. Also, if I choose to have someone in my life for a few years as a friend, then that means they’re probably a good person that I enjoy being around. 2 qualities I want in a spouse.
Also, and I’m gonna get a bunch of hate for this part, but that passage from Paul is the ONLY place in the Bible that says it’s better to be single. From the very beginning of time God points out that singleness isn’t good, that’s why he made Eve for Adam. Don’t fall into the “gift of singleness” trap. Sure, don’t get all kinds of depressed if you are single, but also stop acting like your chance will never come. Go do something to meet people your age and ask a girl/guy out if you’re lonely. Visit a local church, attend a community event, etc. Or, look at your friend group at some of the people you may be overlooking. God made you to be in relationship with others. Don’t let 1 verse hold you up, read the rest of your Bible and see that that 1 verse is an outlier
That passage doesn't say "it's better to be single." That's a half-read of the passage. It says it's better IF you can control yourself. Most of us can't and God knows this of course, which is why it's clearly better for the vast majority of us to marry. No one has set a "gift of singleness" trap. That's just you half reading and half interpreting the passage and creating a straw man argument. You mean well but accuracy is important.
This comment is fire lol.
People should not be shallow
But people shouldn’t kid themselves either.
It’s important that you have some level of attraction to your spouse. Balance is key in life!
@@EmmyFrankGoodin yes, and that is the ONLY place it says that in the Bible. Woman was made for man, so the baseline is that Man should be with women. I’m not going to get into my take on that passage, but it’s definitely not Allen Parrs take. I think it’s a lot closer to when Jesus says things like “Be perfect just as my Father is perfect”. In other words, as a human, you CANNOT NOT burn with passion. It’s engrained into your DNA. It’s your nature. It’s like when Paul says “to live is Christ, to die is gain”. Yes, heaven and eternity is better than life in Earth will ever be, but it also doesn’t mean you should go off yourself. Marriage is the rule, singleness is the exception. There’s a reason that marriage is talked about so highly in the Bible, it’s because it’s something we should all strive for. It’s a representation of God’s relationship with the church. Sure, it would be better if we didn’t need it and could rest solely on God, but we can’t because we are sinful. I also think this was one of Paul’s “I’m better than you” moments that you see throughout his letters.
Also, that “clarification” is pointless. It’s like saying “the Bible doesn’t say it’s better to be able to talk, it says it’s better IF you can control your tongue”. Obviously it’s only better if you can keep from sinning, but that better is the STANDARD.
Okay then why didn’t Paul say unless you’re cute pleasing to the eyes it’s better too marry than burn with passion? See how that adds too the Bible? It says it’s better too marry than too burn with passion.
I want to tell you I appreciate your videos on the topic of sex. I’m single and a Christian…..And a man..lol. It’s very difficult for me almost every day. I’ve been single since 2017 because God hasn’t shown me the woman He wants me with yet. These videos really help me. So thank you.
@@Tirah-p2r ummmm WHAT?? I’m just sitting here wondering how someone can see a positive comment such as mine and apparently find so many things wrong with it. I just read your other comments associated with this channel and they’re negative. Not only are they negative but you are talking negatively about Allen Parr. If you don’t like what this man says, then why are you still watching his videos. Let me guess, you don’t watch the videos, you just troll him and leave negative comments. I wouldn’t be surprised. By the way, most of your reply to my comment doesn’t even make sense. Hope your day gets better. Keep your head up.
@@sully.2435 what Tarah is saying is that you shouldnt be expecting your spouse to just appear at your door. Rather, as a man, you should be going out there and actively be trying to find a woman to marry
@@apracity7672 When did I ever say I wasn’t out there trying to find a woman??? I said God hasn’t showed me the woman He wants me with. What are y’all talking about?? Lol. Goodness
@@Tirah-p2r After talking to you. I PRAISE the Lord in Heaven that I am single. Thank you Jesus
I'm definitely not meant to be celibate... I struggled a lot through my teenage years. Now I'm almost 26, I believe I've found the right one, she checks all the boxes you mentioned in the video. But now, due to financial restraints, we can't get married. My parents have refused to let me get married because I don't have a degree yet (I'm still in school, with two years to graduate). Well, in all honesty, it's become ten times harder since I've found someone I love so much and actually want to spend my life with, but can't commit because of social and financial reasons, "Be patient!", "God's time is the best." and all that kinda stuff... It's really hard! And I don't know what to do, two years is a long time. In Nigeria, we went from becoming adults at 14, to waiting till we're 30 to leave our parents houses... It's all pretty messed up honestly. If I "Walked out on faith..." (Faith is my girlfriend's name btw), I'd be broke, because that's the country we live in... Man, this is getting long, not sure your gonna see it, but whatever... Anyway, I really want to get married but I can't cuz I'm broke, and in my country, it's every man for himself, my parents have the money to give me, but they won't, cuz it'll be a thing of shame to them (Your son has no job but he got married, what a slap in the face of society). But my, or our, bodies are burning with desire... I don't know what to do Sir. If you took the time to read this, thank you. I love your channel Sir
I’ll give you 7 months man
@@revenge8215 for what?
I want to get married because it’s always been a dream of mine to have children and a husband. It was never about sex until I hit 30, 3 years ago. Now I’m getting more impatient and it sucks. I don’t want prayers for patience I just want a family. Sometimes it’s about family. I’m bitter and angry because women are having abortions and I don’t want to end up alone and content that I never had a family while they are doing those things more than just once. I don’t want to be an old lady / woman resentful that I never had an attractive, intelligent, wealthy man that will love me but NEVER meet those men. I feel punished. I don’t even want to live anymore. What’s the point I’m 33 not meeting anyone. If I felt I should give up and be single no kids, then it wouldn’t be on my heart to have that family. It angers me to my very core.
Appreciate the honesty. I understand the pain.
Wow. Can’t imagine why you’re single.
Maybe try not focusing on having a wealthy man, sometimes we have to wait because we need to change our mind set before God allow to meet the person he has for us. There are wonderful men out there who are hard working with money, but not necessarily wealthy…
Thank you for your honesty. Kristen. About ten years ago I found myself feeling the same way. Although God has not sent me a husband, He has drawn me closer to Himself by letting me share my honest feelings with Him and meeting me in my pain. Praying for you dear sister.
@@KC-RUclipsName “God has not sent me a husband”. Wow that is sad to hear anyone say.
Thank you!! I needed this at 46.
Fully committed to the Jesus Christ-Yeshua, and full time ministry. I love it..I have been single for 12 years. I love my singless.
15yo in and I don’t have that gift of celibacy…but I’m not looking or finding as a woman. God bless those that do…I guess
Love listening to Allen Parr! Great questions and insights. So practical and biblical.
So this is somewhat contradictory of another video I that saw earlier. I would love if you would expound on this.
Okay I am divorced because my former husband of 24 yrs - the love of my life - also a former pastor was unfaithful a few times.
The last time he broke up another marriage - and began to mistreat his family once he was discovered.
I prayed for 3 years that he would go to counseling but he chose not to go…. He continued his wayward behavior.
He was not a bad person just weak!
However his meanness and disrespect to me and our young men during this season was unbearable.
So I ended up with great sadness divorcing him. So from what I understood you saying… based upon the word I can’t remarry…. Even though he married the secretary??
I have been single and celibate for the last 12 years. Trusting the Lord to bring the right person into my life. I have met a whole lot of wolves in sheep clothing. So I have resigned to spend my time loving God and others. But my desire is to marry again one day. While I throughly enjoy my singleness, I also know that I have so much to offer the right man who loves God and others and demonstrates his love for God through his life living.
Just keep walking in the Spirit y’all! When ur in this ROUGH season of waiting pray while you take every step. Around this time last year I desperately wanted to meet my future husband. I remember praying abt whether i should go do homework at the campus coffee shop on the east side or the west side. When should I go study? Should I get up to grab a coffee to see if there’s anyone i know that’s here? ofc there’s no right or wrong answers to these questions but as I continued to pray God worked everything out for His purpose and for my good.
Nov 9th last year I went to do homework at the coffee shop, got up to grab a coffee, saw my friend jonothan & said hi. We were just chatting and a few of his friends walked in so we moved to sit with them. As people in the group slowly left I got to talk to a guy named Ayden. Our friends took pictures of us talking to “save to show us on our wedding day”. We talked for hours and became best friends. 3 weeks later Ayden asked me on a date and I said no bc I only wanted what God willed for my life and i couldn’t imagine how dating someone could glorify God after 3 years of 2 different “Christ centered” relationships. I went home and stayed up the whole night praying. I felt convicted for saying no! i felt God calling me to trust Him and just text Ayden and i did. Ayden called me right when i texted him (4 am). he had been up all night praying/ trying not to cry. We went on our first date at 5:30 am, we said i love you 2 days later and he told me he wanted to marry me that week. We got engaged in April & married June. He’s everything I had been praying for (which i suggest writing down the desires of your heart so you can see if it actually lines up when you meet people you’re interested in). It’s a scary thing when you have everything you want in life. I’ve got the perfect husband (in my opinion ;), the car i wanted, the jobs i want, friends that are believers, my parents have finally accepted Christ, and financial stability, blah blah blah. Find peace in Christ alone BEFORE getting married if you’re not married yet!!! It’s so easy to put your hope in other things thinking that you’ll be happy if (fill in the blank). Im incredibly happy with my husband now but i had peace in Christ alone before I met Ayden.
bonus encouragement! At our wedding 2 of our friends that were in our bridal parties who walked down the aisle together (unintentionally) are now dating and getting married within the next 2 years! God will take care of ALL the details. Whatever fairytale love story you’re dreaming of don’t waste your time, God has something better! Draw near to God for in His presence there is fullness of joy🤍
Very encouraging I’ve been hearing about writing down my desires I’m going to be obedient and do it. Thank you for sharing your story God bless unions 🙏🏾🤍
Thanks for the Vid Minister Parr.
I'm currently courting, but it's a long distance r.ship. but we'll soon be reunited😁
Hello Allen, Much appreciated for covering this topic. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one. It's been too long to be single.
You have been such a blessing since I subscribed to your channel, all I have learned is just perfectly explained, God has given you an amazing gift for his glory. Keep going!!!
Me and wife married with this verse in mind only dating 6 months. We had a huge fight I never violated but I’m from a NYC Latino and she’s from a small town Caucasian.. Her agnostic family members talked her out of it and grudgingly I gave her the divorce even though I disagreed I loved her and couldn’t stand to see her cry over this so I agreed..word of advice only do this if there’s a legit Christian root to avoid being swayed by secular ideas.
My cousin recently got cheated on by a man who was a new christian. I have no doubt he was saved, but he was still immature spiritually and they rushed into marriage. Well now he is overseas in the military and sleeping with some woman and simply sent her a letter saying it is over and has no intention to talk to her again.
Bottom line is that you are right. It is far better to make good and sure that someone is truly secure in their faith, otherwise they can and likely will fall back into a degenerate lifestyle.
I've always wanted to know about this question and how that works out. I wish God would give those trying to make it right so much grace. Please send me a godly husband Lord God at 46 years old. Yes, I've never wanted gift of singleness, not one day