Never ever return to your ex. She left for a reason. A person who loves you won't leave. Taking them back lowers your value and it will still lead to break up and it will hurt 10 times more next time.
@Marco de Orduna Every situation is different. I saw good in my ex as well. 7 years of life building was a long time. It was very painful, especially after a betrayal. However, they only need you for emotional support while they go sleep with another dude. You will gain nothing in the end. You likely have the assumption that maybe you can return or get laid a few more times. Most people know when to walk away. In order to have a new door open you have to close the old one. Otherwise, you will never have a healthy relationship with your new partner. I won't date any women who still communicates with their ex. Clearly shows they can't move on.
@@pawel3241 Again, I'm sorry that happened, but you don't know the details of my situation. I don't have the assumptions that I can "get laid a few more times". It must've been very hard for you to go through a betrayal and the breakup. I don't take away from your pain. However, I still love my ex and there's no reason for me not to try again. Did she make mistakes? Of course. Did I do too? Yes. So I prefer to believe that we can do this, even though it's extremely painful.
So, here's an interesting one, which I think might fall in between: how would you classify the relationship if the dumper knew the person they're in a new relationship with prior to the break-up, but never considered a relationship with until this alienator expressed their feelings for them shortly before the break-up; when they got together shortly *post* break-up, but were acting secretively prior; when the dumper told you they'd see where the alienator wanted to take the relationship? When the dumper likes their new interest's status, yet is torn over losing their old partner. I see elements from both in this scenario, where the familiarity between dumper and their new interest indicates monkey-branching - as does the fact that the break-up could only happen because the new branch presented itself - but the fact that the dumper choose this person without much foresight seems reminiscent of a rebound - not so much in the sense of a random person, as in a random opportunity.
@@zahraaazim648 I'm so sorry to hear that! I still remember the feeling, and it can feel absolutely devastating! 😢 So let me start by wishing you lots of strength for the coming period! Secondly, I want to give you a heads-up warning that my answer might not be what you want to hear right now. With that in mind, the questions of how I dealt with this, how I should have dealt with this, and what actually happened are three different issues that took multiple months, if not a year, for me to unravel (seeing as the length of our relationship). For, what I now believe actually happened is that, after his wife died, my ex tried to console what's now her new partner for his loss, thereby starting off an emotional affair that was maintained through intensive work relations (he was her boss). As I was struggling to keep my head above water at the time, he needed a new mother for his children and didn't have the time to date, he increasingly kept upping the pressure on my ex to jump ship. Meanwhile, while my ex initially came to me to inform me her boss had expressed his interest in her to see who could place the higher bid for her, she actually already started gravitating more towards him. To the point where he was the first she informed once she had broken up with me. Thus, while she was stringing me along under pretext of her not having a new relationship yet, she was, in reality, monkey-branching. However, the process of monkey-branching was stretched out across months, over which my ex was happy to entertain my attempts at reconciliation and me taking care of our children, as the latter was not just convenient for her in a practical sense, but it also allowed her to postpone making an actual choice until her new relationship was properly solidified. So, while she had a lot of talk of divorce, she never moved it forward, until, after a number of warnings, I eventually filed because of her continuous pressuring me into doing exactly what she needed and wanted me to do, and me finally putting up a boundary about that. In response, she cut me off from contact with our young children, spat a lot of poison in divorce courts (ours is a messy international one), and keeps ghosting me, not even sending me updates on how our children are doing (while we do have joint custody). Which is the part of what happened. What I should have done instead, if only I would've recognised her hypergamy and avoidant attachment style, is to immediately put up clear and strong boundaries; stopped her from gas-lighting me into believing I couldn't take care of our children by myself and prevented her from taking them out of the country; and focus all of my attention inwards into healing and growth. For, having tried to go for reconciliation, I feel like I've lost a lot of time in rebuilding my life. And while I'm still processing two years following bomb-drop, I feel much stronger and empowered now than I ever did. I now realise I gave up on myself in my previous relationship, giving in to her egotistical demands just to keep the relationship going, and have now reclaimed myself. I, of course, don't know the specifics of your situation. And also, in my case, my ex acted very much out of egotistical self-interest, stringing me along until I finally stood up for myself. So my advice would be to reclaim your power and focus solely on yourself, rather than your partner or your relationship. I know this is hard. But it's not only a huge investment into your future self, but also stands the best chance of getting your ex back. Just make sure it's on your terms now. Good luck! 🤗
This video has been very illuminating for me. From what I can tell, my ex made the decision to move on from me several months prior to the break up. She then used my network to identify a monkey branch which once secured, she swung to. Disgusting.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
@@Guxna We're friendly but I'm keeping my distance for the most part. She told me "he's not in love with me" on New Year's Eve but I'm pretty sure they're still together. Whatever.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
It's a tough call. Bf has checked out emotionally from our relationship, he is monkeybranching, but to me it feels like he is rebounding, he just hasn t said that he wants to breakup with me. We meet on weekends (live 45 min from eachother), he meets his cute female friend every evening, calls me from her home. I have not mentioned that I have a problem with him being with her almost every evening. I don't want to show more anxiety. I have nothing negative to say, she seems like a nice person. Instead i want to make all our interactions/between me and my boyfriend, feel good for him, connect emotionally. Be more calm than I used to be, etc. But it feels tough. Going uphill.
At the end of the day if you take your ex back is up to you and the circumstances don’t let anyone in the comments change your mind if you want go back because they didn’t date your ex.
My fearful avoidant ex monkey branched to another after a mostly good four-year relationship/situationship with me. I am mostly secure and independent with my own life. He did the slow fade after expressing deep feelings for me. The new love was aided by her family, and he is a people plraser.He wanted to date and be friends with me at the same time . Hell no!!! I let him go without a tear and wished him well. I am mentally tough.N C forever for me. Ironically, they both have emotional problems by his description of the situation. I am healing and moving on. They are probably a better fit. I realize it would never work with me. I would prefer a man, not a boy. ( And we are seniors, BTW.) It is what it is.
@@AlexisFriedlander Thank you for the response. However are there better chances of these types of rebounds lasting because already knowing each other may help with the emotional connection?
Hey in my situation I was in a relationship for 6 years I picked up the fight for some reason then my ex decided to breakup with me, he told every thing to his mother and his mother said she don't want him to be with me during the 1st month I was convincing him to get back with me and he was also giving me mixed messages but after 1mnth I asked him for closure and then he said he know he has hurt me and he will never gonna show his face and after 5 days he posted a picture of that girl on insta and within these days they met with each other's parents and they slept. I don't know whether it was monkey branching and a rebound but before breakup everything waas very normal between us. Plizz reply
Not sure whether my ex is in a rebound relationship or if she monkey branched on me. She got to know the guy before she broke up with me, but she is giving me mixed signals (is stalking me, giving me compliments). And she isn't over our relationship for sure. The other guy is three years younger and they met on a party one month before she cheated on me, after that she broke up. We had a great relationship for three years and knew each other for five years. I'm quite sure she's having BPD issues. She also cheated on their ex boyfriend and than we came together. What you suggest rebound or monkey branching?
I think my Ex is in a hybrid situation of these two scenarios. Why? She actually told me about this friend of many years was always wanting to be with her and messaging her. At the same time she was fighting like heck to keep our 6 year relationship together but I was too focused on my job and passion hobby. She ended it with me and immediately started dating him. He lives 800 miles away from our city. He got a marriage license immediately to push me away. I thought she was friendzoning me so I went NC after 2.5 weeks. She reached out to me after 20 days, 26 days, 35 days, and then told me she thought about me a lot and missed me everyday. She asked to meet up but still had her last name as his on FB. I knew they weren’t married so I agreed and we had lunch. It was a little awkward of course but she gave me big tight hug and left after 2 hours. I told her she had to do a clean break with him if she wanted to be with me and that I would not be reaching out to her. She genuinely understood. She texted me that same night and the next morning, but nothing now in almost a week. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m in NC again of course.
Does the nature of a monkey-branched relationship - "can last longer, but difficult to build a long-lasting relationship" - mean that it's more likely for it to turn into a "real" relationship, i.e., last past the honey moon phase? Is there an overall timeline for these kinds of relationships?
IMO, they can last beyond the honeymoon stage. The avoidant's core fears will eventually surface unless dealt with, however. Also, even though the avoidant dumped the ex, those feelings will eventually surface unless they are dealt with. The avoidant suppresses feelings for the ex long before the break up. If they were in a long-term relationship, there was probably love at some point. Relationships built on lies have difficulty surviving, IMO.
I have changed the details in the following account but the main thrust of the account is true. This girl I was acquainted with dated 2 guys while keeping both in the dark about each other. I am a guy from Singapore. I studied in a British university in the late 90s. During the term holidays of 8 weeks , I return to Singapore. During one such holiday , I got acquainted with this girl and her bf at a mutual friend’s party. She and her bf were studying in a different British university. Let call her Tina And her bf , Jim. Tina is from Singapore and Jim is from Malaysia. At that point in time , they were a couple for about 6 months. Jim And I were studying the same subject and we talked for a while. The following term holidays , I ran into Tina again at a party but Jim was not around . I Asked And it turned out Jim would be in Malaysia and Tina would drive over to see him on weekends. The next year , the same thing … i would see Tina at parties but not Jim. I graduated And started working . The next year Tina graduated and started working at the same company but she was in a different department. Jim was due to graduate the following year. I would see Tina around the building and asked about Jim every now and then. About 2 months after Tina came back to Singapore she told me not to ask about Jim anymore as they had broken up. I was surprised but did not press for details. The next year , I left for another company . One of my supervisors turned to be Tina’s new boyfriend . Let’s call the new bf Brad. It turned out that Tina was dating Brad long distance during the term holidays . They were dating long distance for 3 years !!! And they were engaged to be married !!That was why she would visit Jim in Malaysia instead of him coming to see her ! They are still married with 2 children.
Do you need help with getting back your ex reanite your soulmate save your marriage from divorce banish third party or manifest your specific person (s.p)??????
What if they moved onto a new girl a few days before breaking up with me, and what if that girl lives in another country and they will not get to meet except on phone. They keep posting on Facebook that they love each other already, even though it’s only been 3 weeks. She already got the person expensive gifts like a new iPhone and AirPods.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
My ex moved on when I got involved in an an. I was then recovering at home and she broke up with me saying that she moved on to a long term friend. She did not move before I was involved in the accident. Is this monkey branching or a rebound?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
@@tonymbaya9403 you dodged a bullet . your ex gf sounds like a ruthless person . be thankful she is gone. cut off all contact . block her number and all social media accounts.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
We all have back up careers, back up transportantion, back up jobs, back up baby sitters, back up dinner plans, back up computer storage, its seems to me its only in relationships that "having a back up relationship and emotional support" is considered wrong, i think the idea of "owning" your partner is "crazy", i think everybody should monkey branch and this ethical b*ll crap would be pointless!!!!
Never ever return to your ex. She left for a reason. A person who loves you won't leave. Taking them back lowers your value and it will still lead to break up and it will hurt 10 times more next time.
Just because it happened to you, it doesn't mean that would happen to everyone
@Marco de Orduna lol then go back. If you accept being second, that's your choice.
@@pawel3241 I'm sorry you were hurt! I still see good in my ex, and I'm not okay with being second, so please don't assume. Have a good day, man.
@Marco de Orduna Every situation is different. I saw good in my ex as well. 7 years of life building was a long time. It was very painful, especially after a betrayal. However, they only need you for emotional support while they go sleep with another dude. You will gain nothing in the end. You likely have the assumption that maybe you can return or get laid a few more times. Most people know when to walk away. In order to have a new door open you have to close the old one. Otherwise, you will never have a healthy relationship with your new partner. I won't date any women who still communicates with their ex. Clearly shows they can't move on.
@@pawel3241 Again, I'm sorry that happened, but you don't know the details of my situation. I don't have the assumptions that I can "get laid a few more times". It must've been very hard for you to go through a betrayal and the breakup. I don't take away from your pain. However, I still love my ex and there's no reason for me not to try again. Did she make mistakes? Of course. Did I do too? Yes. So I prefer to believe that we can do this, even though it's extremely painful.
So, here's an interesting one, which I think might fall in between: how would you classify the relationship if the dumper knew the person they're in a new relationship with prior to the break-up, but never considered a relationship with until this alienator expressed their feelings for them shortly before the break-up; when they got together shortly *post* break-up, but were acting secretively prior; when the dumper told you they'd see where the alienator wanted to take the relationship? When the dumper likes their new interest's status, yet is torn over losing their old partner.
I see elements from both in this scenario, where the familiarity between dumper and their new interest indicates monkey-branching - as does the fact that the break-up could only happen because the new branch presented itself - but the fact that the dumper choose this person without much foresight seems reminiscent of a rebound - not so much in the sense of a random person, as in a random opportunity.
Oh my god, this is my exact situation! How did you deal with this? 😢 I’m shattered
@@zahraaazim648 I'm so sorry to hear that! I still remember the feeling, and it can feel absolutely devastating! 😢 So let me start by wishing you lots of strength for the coming period!
Secondly, I want to give you a heads-up warning that my answer might not be what you want to hear right now. With that in mind, the questions of how I dealt with this, how I should have dealt with this, and what actually happened are three different issues that took multiple months, if not a year, for me to unravel (seeing as the length of our relationship).
For, what I now believe actually happened is that, after his wife died, my ex tried to console what's now her new partner for his loss, thereby starting off an emotional affair that was maintained through intensive work relations (he was her boss). As I was struggling to keep my head above water at the time, he needed a new mother for his children and didn't have the time to date, he increasingly kept upping the pressure on my ex to jump ship. Meanwhile, while my ex initially came to me to inform me her boss had expressed his interest in her to see who could place the higher bid for her, she actually already started gravitating more towards him. To the point where he was the first she informed once she had broken up with me. Thus, while she was stringing me along under pretext of her not having a new relationship yet, she was, in reality, monkey-branching.
However, the process of monkey-branching was stretched out across months, over which my ex was happy to entertain my attempts at reconciliation and me taking care of our children, as the latter was not just convenient for her in a practical sense, but it also allowed her to postpone making an actual choice until her new relationship was properly solidified. So, while she had a lot of talk of divorce, she never moved it forward, until, after a number of warnings, I eventually filed because of her continuous pressuring me into doing exactly what she needed and wanted me to do, and me finally putting up a boundary about that. In response, she cut me off from contact with our young children, spat a lot of poison in divorce courts (ours is a messy international one), and keeps ghosting me, not even sending me updates on how our children are doing (while we do have joint custody). Which is the part of what happened.
What I should have done instead, if only I would've recognised her hypergamy and avoidant attachment style, is to immediately put up clear and strong boundaries; stopped her from gas-lighting me into believing I couldn't take care of our children by myself and prevented her from taking them out of the country; and focus all of my attention inwards into healing and growth. For, having tried to go for reconciliation, I feel like I've lost a lot of time in rebuilding my life. And while I'm still processing two years following bomb-drop, I feel much stronger and empowered now than I ever did. I now realise I gave up on myself in my previous relationship, giving in to her egotistical demands just to keep the relationship going, and have now reclaimed myself.
I, of course, don't know the specifics of your situation. And also, in my case, my ex acted very much out of egotistical self-interest, stringing me along until I finally stood up for myself. So my advice would be to reclaim your power and focus solely on yourself, rather than your partner or your relationship. I know this is hard. But it's not only a huge investment into your future self, but also stands the best chance of getting your ex back. Just make sure it's on your terms now. Good luck! 🤗
This video has been very illuminating for me. From what I can tell, my ex made the decision to move on from me several months prior to the break up. She then used my network to identify a monkey branch which once secured, she swung to. Disgusting.
And with that being said....I don't want her back anymore
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
†13609219711⏭⏯?????????
Whatzapp him now......
She aint coming back bro.. Like you have a choice???
All this time I thought her new guy was a rebound but now I realize my situation is much more dire
This is why I decided to do this video to avoid people fighting lost battles
@@AlexisFriedlander oh I’m still gonna pine for her and call her after the 6 week since no contact marker!
@@varnishyourboard update?
@@Guxna We're friendly but I'm keeping my distance for the most part. She told me "he's not in love with me" on New Year's Eve but I'm pretty sure they're still together. Whatever.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
It's a tough call. Bf has checked out emotionally from our relationship, he is monkeybranching, but to me it feels like he is rebounding, he just hasn t said that he wants to breakup with me. We meet on weekends (live 45 min from eachother), he meets his cute female friend every evening, calls me from her home.
I have not mentioned that I have a problem with him being with her almost every evening. I don't want to show more anxiety. I have nothing negative to say, she seems like a nice person. Instead i want to make all our interactions/between me and my boyfriend, feel good for him, connect emotionally. Be more calm than I used to be, etc.
But it feels tough. Going uphill.
After a month I belive my ex is definitely a monkey brancher !!!!
What if the my ex had both mixed of these two things, will her new relationship last!!
At the end of the day if you take your ex back is up to you and the circumstances don’t let anyone in the comments change your mind if you want go back because they didn’t date your ex.
My fearful avoidant ex monkey branched to another after a mostly good four-year relationship/situationship with me. I am mostly secure and independent with my own life. He did the slow fade after expressing deep feelings for me. The new love was aided by her family, and he is a people plraser.He wanted to date and be friends with me at the same time . Hell no!!! I let him go without a tear and wished him well. I am mentally tough.N C forever for me. Ironically, they both have emotional problems by his description of the situation. I am healing and moving on. They are probably a better fit. I realize it would never work with me. I would prefer a man, not a boy. ( And we are seniors, BTW.) It is what it is.
What if they rebound but with someone they already knew (friend, coworker). Yet it is not a monkeybranch because it was not pre-planned.
That's a rebound.
@@AlexisFriedlander Thank you for the response. However are there better chances of these types of rebounds lasting because already knowing each other may help with the emotional connection?
@@halo99yo Yes. It might last longer than the usual rebound.
Hey in my situation I was in a relationship for 6 years I picked up the fight for some reason then my ex decided to breakup with me, he told every thing to his mother and his mother said she don't want him to be with me during the 1st month I was convincing him to get back with me and he was also giving me mixed messages but after 1mnth I asked him for closure and then he said he know he has hurt me and he will never gonna show his face and after 5 days he posted a picture of that girl on insta and within these days they met with each other's parents and they slept. I don't know whether it was monkey branching and a rebound but before breakup everything waas very normal between us. Plizz reply
Not sure whether my ex is in a rebound relationship or if she monkey branched on me. She got to know the guy before she broke up with me, but she is giving me mixed signals (is stalking me, giving me compliments). And she isn't over our relationship for sure. The other guy is three years younger and they met on a party one month before she cheated on me, after that she broke up. We had a great relationship for three years and knew each other for five years. I'm quite sure she's having BPD issues. She also cheated on their ex boyfriend and than we came together.
What you suggest rebound or monkey branching?
I think my Ex is in a hybrid situation of these two scenarios. Why? She actually told me about this friend of many years was always wanting to be with her and messaging her. At the same time she was fighting like heck to keep our 6 year relationship together but I was too focused on my job and passion hobby. She ended it with me and immediately started dating him. He lives 800 miles away from our city. He got a marriage license immediately to push me away. I thought she was friendzoning me so I went NC after 2.5 weeks. She reached out to me after 20 days, 26 days, 35 days, and then told me she thought about me a lot and missed me everyday. She asked to meet up but still had her last name as his on FB. I knew they weren’t married so I agreed and we had lunch. It was a little awkward of course but she gave me big tight hug and left after 2 hours. I told her she had to do a clean break with him if she wanted to be with me and that I would not be reaching out to her. She genuinely understood. She texted me that same night and the next morning, but nothing now in almost a week. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m in NC again of course.
This is an unusual situation perhaps being far from you made her realised what she lost
Does the nature of a monkey-branched relationship - "can last longer, but difficult to build a long-lasting relationship" - mean that it's more likely for it to turn into a "real" relationship, i.e., last past the honey moon phase? Is there an overall timeline for these kinds of relationships?
IMO, they can last beyond the honeymoon stage. The avoidant's core fears will eventually surface unless dealt with, however. Also, even though the avoidant dumped the ex, those feelings will eventually surface unless they are dealt with. The avoidant suppresses feelings for the ex long before the break up. If they were in a long-term relationship, there was probably love at some point. Relationships built on lies have difficulty surviving, IMO.
My ex was monkey branching 2 years before we broke up and then also went on the rebound how does it work when your ex has done both?
Dodnt find out my partner monkey branched until AFTER we were married.
Needless to say, I still have trust issues
I have changed the details in the following account but the main thrust of the account is true. This girl I was acquainted with dated 2 guys while keeping both in the dark about each other.
I am a guy from Singapore. I studied in a British university in the late 90s. During the term holidays of 8 weeks , I return to Singapore. During one such holiday , I got acquainted with this girl and her bf at a mutual friend’s party. She and her bf were studying in a different British university. Let call her Tina And her bf , Jim. Tina is from
Singapore and Jim is from Malaysia. At that point in time , they were a couple for about 6 months. Jim
And I were studying the same subject and we talked for a while.
The following term holidays , I ran into Tina again at a party but Jim was not around . I Asked And it turned out Jim would be in Malaysia and Tina would drive over to see him on weekends. The next year , the same thing … i would see Tina at parties but not Jim. I graduated And started working . The next year Tina graduated and started working at the same company but she was in a different department. Jim was due to graduate the following year. I would see Tina around the building and asked about Jim every now and then. About 2 months after Tina came back to Singapore she told me not to ask about Jim anymore as they had broken up. I was surprised but did not press for details. The next year , I left for another company . One of my supervisors turned to be Tina’s new boyfriend . Let’s call the new bf Brad. It turned out that Tina was dating Brad long distance during the term holidays . They were dating long distance for 3 years !!! And they were engaged to be married !!That was why she would visit Jim in Malaysia instead of him coming to see her !
They are still married with 2 children.
Hello! I understand how you're feeling going through break up I know of someone who will help you fix your relationship issues
Do you need help with getting back your ex reanite your soulmate save your marriage from divorce banish third party or manifest your specific person (s.p)??????
➕2348070768992⏯️⏯️💕💕???????????????
What's app him for help
what sapp right now for help
He's indeed a problem solve....
What if they moved onto a new girl a few days before breaking up with me, and what if that girl lives in another country and they will not get to meet except on phone. They keep posting on Facebook that they love each other already, even though it’s only been 3 weeks. She already got the person expensive gifts like a new iPhone and AirPods.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
My ex moved on when I got involved in an an. I was then recovering at home and she broke up with me saying that she moved on to a long term friend. She did not move before I was involved in the accident. Is this monkey branching or a rebound?
*an accident
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
@@tonymbaya9403 you dodged a bullet . your ex gf sounds like a ruthless person . be thankful she is gone. cut off all contact . block her number and all social media accounts.
6:21 scare the **** out of me! 😁
My cat is a clumsy stunt man he fell like a pancake from the table. (He was fine right after)
✝19318968534⏭⏭⏭
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
†13609219711⏭⏯?????????
My ex girlfriend monkey branch me
We all have back up careers, back up transportantion, back up jobs, back up baby sitters, back up dinner plans, back up computer storage, its seems to me its only in relationships that "having a back up relationship and emotional support" is considered wrong, i think the idea of "owning" your partner is "crazy", i think everybody should monkey branch and this ethical b*ll crap would be pointless!!!!
You have psychopathic behaviour