It’s easier to deal with short term anxiety as its usually transitional, but many autistic people have GAD because they have trauma and are trauma survivors. When we have an anxiety disorder it is a constant state and very difficult to manage. Analysing the reason when this is a constant is only more triggering. This type of anxiety is ongoing and fuelled with intrusive thoughtforms which are exhausting. Its is a constant feeling of uneasiness that you want to escape from. Dissociation from the debilitating effects of chronic anxiety is common and many of us spend our days running around in circles to try and escape what we are feeling. Couple this with being autistic and its not a good outcome. Everyone throws the same management plans for us, mindfulness, CBT etc all of which don’t work for many autistic people. Honestly, I don’t even get peace when I sleep as my dreams are anxiety fuelled rubbish. I am 66 and I have had anxiety everyday most of my life and don’t know what it feels like to not have anxiety. I have tried so many things to get relief and now spend most of life as a recluse.
I feel this. The things that have helped me are more holistic therapy that goes beyond CBT (which can just try to desensitive you to rational and real feelings). Also being more vulnerable with my partner who is also autistic and has trauma, expressing all the dark unhappy stuff inside me and feeling there's one person who gets it
I've been diagnosed with GAD and am mildly autistic. I think I can relate to how you feel. The anxiety ebbs and flows but it's always there at some level. I've tried and continue to try many techniques to help me cope. Most of them help a bit but no silver bullet yet. An idea I found helpful was to recognise how I feel in the moment, accept the fact and just feel the feeling until it goes away. Eg. I feel bad so I just feel bad until I don't feel so bad. For me, this idea helps to shorten the cycle somehow.
It's not good advice. If the situation sucked you should change it, if possible. If your boss keeps stressing you that stress might never stop and you would not make a decision ever and be trapped, in his example.
@@mreese8764 I was just saying that the analogy was good. Don't change the plans because you panic.... you often have made the plans when you were thinking clearly, trust yourself.
@@CherrysJubileeJoyfully well, that good past plan clearly lead to a panic situation. How good was it? Do you trust your senses and say: I'm in a shitty situation and should change that. Or do you say: I was in a clear headed situation in the past, and everything I decided back then was good, even if I'm in a sister right now. Keep going.
The feedback loop mention, having anxiety about the anxiety creating more anxiety, reminded me of that phrase "even my anxiety has anxiety" which feels true for me. Having anxiety problems is something I continue too just try to learn to live with best I can because it's a 24/7 thing.
I am not sure if i have asperger's or not. It is a real possibility and I relate to many things you say in your videos. When I feel anxious, i try not to make important decisions, and i choose to isolate myself and get some sleep. After 12 hours of rest, i feel much better. Thank you so much for your channel, it is so useful
My anxiety went through the roof of late. It turns out I have hit peri menopause. This can make the things ADHD and Asperger's people struggle with, even more heightened, so it isn't always obvious that it is something new. I have never experienced such high anxiety before. I always deal with a certain level of it but this was crazy.. If you are female, in your late 40s, and things get super heightened, checkout the possibility that you may be hitting peri / pre menopause. There are some podcasts on the subject on RUclips too. It is starting to be talked about more.
@@janinemills6732 I've just started hormone treatment. They are in the form of sticky patches as I struggle to swallow pills. I had to go private to get initial assessment, but I now get the treatment through NHS (UK). I feel less anxious already so I am hoping it is working long term. Good luck.
I'm moving and don't have a place to live yet. I need to get a apartment when I get there,and driving alone with my cat 250-300 miles. I have driving anxiety and it's just eating me up all the unknowns. But it's the driving that's so overwhelmingly anxiety provoking and I'm just totally at a loss. I'm beyond even crying. I just feel so alone and vulnerable. And scared. I'm 58 years old and recently diagnosed.
Driving is often one of the biggest anxieties. In your mind, make the drive a series of several shorter drives. A to B then say thanks that you got that far. Then B to C, C to D, D to E, etc. If you can, take a breather at each stopping point. Then once you arrive in the new city, have a meal or snack to give you energy and calm you. Know that there are people praying for you and your safe travels.
This is a very important topic related to Autism. I find that anxiety and autism are very much co-occuring in life. Having a lot of hypersensitivity to particular stimuli comes with alot of tension. I find this very true and utilizing external distractions, practicing mindfulness along with acceptance of myself in the particular situation I'm in is key when it comes to handling anxiety.
I have found that at least in some cases, when I am anxious, it can mean that I have a hidden emotion waiting to be processed. Like many of us, I have trouble recognizing some emotions, especially deeply buried ones, and I don't verbalize self-talk. Sometimes, if I have time to uncover the hidden emotion or belief (I hate to call it a belief, since it's not a verbal statement) and correct it, then I'm a little less anxious. For example, realizing that I had the hidden and rather silly belief that everyone else (esp. neurotypical people) was perfect but me was a milestone. Verbalizing this belief and seeing it for how ridiculous it was got rid of that little bit of anxiety. Another cause for anxiety for me is MSG and some artificial sugar substitutes, as well as suppressed physical discomfort. I especially don't like going fast, such as in a car, and this isn't because of a wreck or anything. I CAN ride or drive, but I think I have to struggle to process the scenery going by that quickly. Riding in a car makes me deeply anxious. But these are just my experiences.
I also find that lots of foods influence how I emotionally feel and am very careful what I eat. In addition to being overly structured and rigid about organizing my food, I refuse to eat out at most places or at people's houses and especially at work meetings and gatherings, since what they mostly have is pure poison (donuts, cupcakes, etc.). I don't think people are aware how influential food is over our moods, especially for people with extra challenges. I also totally relate to delayed emotional processing.
My therapist reminds me that I need to stim more. It helps me ride out exhaustion, dread…you know..daily life! By the way I like seeing how well your plant is doing, thanks for keeping it in the picture
It was anxiety that made me seek help, then I discovered I was asd. Just knowing helped at first ( a distraction ) but often it's other people's judgement of me that hurts and sets off my circles and angst.
Thank you. Your descriptions let out a good soft cry of knowing how it feels. I experienced what you described. When I don't get enough sleep, it can trigger or enhance physical symptoms. I get epileptic seizures and that feeling comes before they happen and is enhanced during and after. Weather changes, different foods, and medications can worsen it all (season, barometric pressure, atmospheric changed energies, EMF fields, opioids, sugar, dairy, gluten). I get migraines and chronic pain daily just that is challenging. It can be extremely overwhelming, and I shut down and just try to breathe through it. Also, I am going through a difficult spiritual awakening while accepting my ASD only at 47, and on disability from chronic pain and illness. It's extremely hard to function. Why are dissections about autism and spiritual awakening so limited? As if people with autism can't have spiritual gifts or experiences? This in itself can cause anxiety that manifests in the body, mind, and soul. Separation of mind, body, and soul is a modern sad "reality". People can sense things, energy, vibrations, and frequencies and get overwhelmed, and not understand them or their cause. Everything and everyone are connected. Everything has a pattern purpose or function and there for a cause. I am feeling alone and so different, wanting more than anything to be able to function, to heal and, just be me...
Food is so important!!! I had severe migraines most of my life, recently was found to be severely intolerant to gluten & dairy. Since I removed both from my diet migraines almost vanished. If i only knew earlier!! Fiercely protective over my sleep routine, nutrition & physical exercise. When I have these 3 in tow and functioning, everything else is so much easier. I feel for you when you say you feel alone and different. It breaks my heart to know many people with Autism, especially those that aren't yet trying to heal intentionally, think they are doomed and broken somehow, when the truth is there is so much beauty and heart in them, we just live in a world that was never made for us!
What you describe is exactly (and with an surprisingly accuracy) what I feel lately. This radical change from a good mood and the next day in a terrible mood, is just so annoying to me. But I am really into self-help and the things around human psychology. Two exercises which helped me a ton to reduce these kind of feelings are: 1. > Follow the trail of whys < I got this from a coach (he uploads his content to youtube) and it basically means to ask yourself questions to identify the reasons behind those feelings eventually. Like: "Why I am feeling this or that? > come up with a potential answer > requestioning the answer > go deeper > repeat 2. > Letting go < (similar to the technique Paul mentioned in this video) Especially helpful with traumatic experiences or events in the past that are really hard to overcome. This technique is a little bit tricky because you want to be triggered by your emotions, fears, anxiety (etc.) to allow them to surface and let them go in this process. When I started this, it was extremely difficult because of its potential to overwhelm you. Slowly, I am able to see progress from this kind of work and it feels great. Owning my autistic self and being proud of who I am and what I potentially able to give to other people. Maybe this works for you too. And I also want to mention that a lot negative feelings, having zero energy, sadness (etc.) could emerge from a depression (there are different types of depression). The fact that depression is neurological manifested in our brains should not be underestimated. Its very hard to do something against depressive episodes (besides seeking psychological AND medical help). Depression also correlates with our sleep. If you reduce or delay your sleep, it showed a significant change how a person (with depression) feels the next day. If you will, despression forms/release itself during sleep. There are some labs (at least here in germany) which investigate the correlation between sleep and depression. PS: the boat analogy is really helpful.
Here's some info about this subject: I've went to a psychedelic society meetup in Brussels last week, and as a very introverted person with autism, I was glad to learn about MDMA (through a lecture from book writer Rachel Nuwer, with her book I Feel Love.., because some autistic adults help themselves apparently massively with their social anxiety through taking MDMA over long periods of times. Haven't been able to confirm myself yet (but I did save myself and self heal, become better and stronger through psilocybin mushrooms and LSD).
The description of anxiety was very relatable. Ive never been good at identifying it and would end up with a pain all over my body. I am still not great at it. The observation that it could be triggered by trying to control something you cannot predict was really insightful. It makes sense because I started getting them after my dad died. Before that I had very structured life and family that used to act as shield. After that life became very unpredictable and there has been no shield in the recent years.
I have communication issues which sometimes produce anxiety. I am so rarely interested in getting to know someone in depth, and I usually don't share about my inner world and feelings with anyone. And I do have rich and vivid inner outworld. Then once in a blue moon I meet someone so interesting and I wanna give him safety, friendship and understanding and all my intent gets miscommunicated somehow and this person gets totally opposite impression of me. :( I am used to every day prejudices, and intolerance from people, but I grew thick skin over my life time as a reaction to many wounds, injustice and rejection and misconception, but it still hurts so much when I dare to share a bit of me with someone and that gets across in a totally wrong way. My most important lesson from recently - people at work are NOT my friends, no matter who they are, how they present and what they say. And even though I know all this already, I allowed someone to get closer than I should have, given that I met him at work. I honestly believed we were becoming friends, I wanted to give him safety and understanding, felt spiritually connected to him, and was looking forward to share coffee and conversation or silence, and go for a walk together (being too literal again). I could not have been more wrong!!! The irony is we are both apparently autistic (he thinks he is and I think he is), he never knew I was too, but I never got a chance to share this with him (because I refuse to talk about it via texting or writing only with a new person). Also, ironically, there is no one that could relate to some of his issues that he shared about more than me.
Your description of how anxiety feels in your body is dead-on the same for me. My whole body feels like I'm licking a 9 volt battery's terminals. For many years I have fought this, thinking I really need to not feel like this. Your approach of just accepting it and consciously accepting that I'm just going to feel like crap for a while has really helped. Very glad I found your channel.
Always enjoy hearing your thoughts. I think the storm analogy is good for dealing with tough emotions in general. Knowing it will pass. For people with general anxiety or trouble with emotional regulation, its extra important to "set your course" while you're calm, identify your plan and strategies for handling tough things ahead of time so you have that direction while you're weathering the storm
I am in a constant state of anxiety! But during the worst of it I feel totally justified and reasonable! Now looking back through the lens of autism (only found out last year, I am now 70) I can see how crazy I behaved and yet I continue 😢
It's a slow work in progress. I'll often tell my husband things like "I know that this is just my current feelings; and my rational brain (that is currently a very quiet voice in the back of my mind) is telling me how I'll feel again in half an hour, but for the moment I need..." Depending on the circumstances that can be reassurance on whatever is spiking the anxiety; emotional validation; a deep pressure hug/weighted blanket break; some chocolate and RUclips or other form of peace and quiet to distract myself until it's/the worst has blown over.... Just sharing. If this isn't helpful, feel free to ignore it. 😊
I manage my anxiety with tranquillisers. I have taken Mellleril (Aldazine, Thoridazine) (which is no longer manufactured), Largactil, and am currently taking a small amount of Haloperidol (Serenace). I was bullied nearly every day at high school (1979 - 1984) because of the Asperger’s syndrome. At 57, I am travelling OK. The Serenace helps me to relax and cope in the workplace. I have a little bit of depression, more so dismayal.
Thank you for this very helpful video, there are many good things within. The allegory with the boat is very smart and I shall adopt that one for sure. However there is one thing where my experiences are very different: Distracting myself never really helps. Sure, for as long as I do it, I feel the negative emotions less or not at all. But as soon as I stop, it all comes back, stronger than before, even. When I do not look the thing in the eye and take everything it throws at me and suffer through, it will find me later, when it has grown and I am unaware and weak. That might just be me, though. Love Lutan
This is a good point. I don't think he means distraction as in not dealing with it though. He talks about first identifying the cause of the anxiety and determining whats in and out of his control. Doing other activities is not meant to make the anxiety go away... it's for self care and enjoyment, getting on with things despite it. But you can't skip the part where you deal with it
That said some people (like with cptsd) actually may need to intentionally distract themselves and plan to confront some feelings and issues later, when they have enough resources and are in a safe place, like with family or a trusted therapist
@@jenniferredmond1034 Yes, I absolutely agree, what helps me is surely not for everyone, we all need to find a way that works for us and that may absolutely include responsibly used distractions. I would not want to take something that brings relief away from anyone. For me, they have been a pitfall once. Do you think that has influenced my wording to bee too aggressive against them?
I'm moving about 450 miles away later in the year. We don't know exactly where yet. I have already started the process of cleaning out and packing so that I don't have too much anxiety when we move. I am organizing and cleaning etc. with a slow methodical plan. I am still formulating the plan, but that slow process sets the tone for when it is time to actually move. I will have a plan. I will have done most of the packing before the last month. I will be able to handle the anxiety that comes from all of the last minute unknowns and potential disasters (most likely won't happen). It will be hard for anxiety to live in a body that is moving slow and calm and trying to be centered... This is how I leverage my organization skills to manage my weaknesses, thus giving me a sense of control of things I can control and a willingness to let go of things out of my control. Keeping my cool during stressful times gets easier as I am able to breathe and step back and see the bigger picture. Even if all of our stuff disappears, and we buy a crappy house, etc. we will be ok. That is the practical. Prayer and Meditation are key... Oh, and the Ignatius Spiritual Practice is awesome! I have followed along with the book many times, and we have an Ignatius retreat center close to us (We will have a Benedictine retreat center close to our new home). We have done many retreats there. I will pray for you and your wife, that your move will be smooth and educational...😊
I've actually been using a lot of those strategies already, so thanks for the validation that I'm on the right track! Also, the boat analogy is super helpful!
Your description of the feeling definitely resonates; restless-ness energy that can translate to physical pain and discomfort with nowhere to go so the experience is overall one of being stuck; this really narrows the focus on the thought and action processes which is very helpful for recognising it in future and identifying it in the past
In my experience, the types of sensations you describe come heavily from high levels of stress hormones. I suspect that I am predisposed to high levels due to prenatal exposure to my mother’s high levels. While glucocorticoids can become elevated because of a singular event like a massive adrenal burst (anger or panic), I think they can also become elevated due to persistent, well, stress, like working a lot or major changes to manage. Even if I don’t get into an anxiety loop, stress hormones are slow to recede. I suspect that predisposition to high levels of stress hormones is one reason autistic people get worn out quickly at times. I’ve found that feeling the need to find the cause of my anxiety can be a symptom, so just like making decisions when I’m in an impaired state, trying to discern the reason at that time can be risky. My amygdala knows something is up, and by design looks for something external, even if the problem is really internal. That need to fix some issue right now is where I think anxiety meets irritability and need for control, and it can be very destructive of relationships. I always note this next thing, because i think it is an incredibly useful fact that is not always known: the amygdala and the sympathetic nervous system can actually suppress higher thinking by design. It’s so a person can respond instantly to an actual threat, without taking time to think, but it’s not so helpful with threats that are mispercieved. I’ve known for a longer time that it’s why I can’t think straight in a panic attack, or control myself during a fight or flight/meltdown, but it’s been more recently that I’ve started to sense a lower level fear response poking at me during more generalized anxiety, when I am feeling like something is very wrong, and someone needs to stop doing...SOMETHING...right now. It can be very hard to thwart that feeling, and the suppression of higher thinking is probably why.
Massimo Pigliucci helped me. He deals with the Stoics and his book "How to be a Stoic" always helps me. In unpleasant situations, I ask myself the question "Can I change something?". If the environment is too loud, I can use my noise-cancelling headphones, for example. If a situation cannot be changed or I cannot avoid it, then I simply move on, knowing that this unpleasant experience or feeling will also pass.
Thank you so much for this Paul. I've struggled so much with this exact feeling, and it's extremely helpful to hear someone else describe having the same thing, especially because I've never been able to articulate the feeling in words. Your suggestions also match up precisely with what I've learned for myself - the best thing is to relax and accept that I'm just not feeling good at the moment, and to ask myself what I could do to at least take the edge off of the feeling.
this actually sounds a lot like me. i can definitely recognize myself in this description. i hate wasting time on trying to find out what causes my anxiety, but it really helps me to know
Thank you so, so much! Your 'Are you autistic' and 'differences between ADHD and ASD mate me woder for the first time. Because I was put on Fluoxetin, I just was able to see parts of myself under the ADHD that I haven't seen for years, and I selfidentified as autistic, ten years after an ADHD diagnosis, and I finally feel like myself and getting some selfworth back!
And thanks for the video! The anxiety needs to run its course and we need to ride the wave to better times. Easier said than done. Letting go is the way.
2:59 Metallica shirt! Immersing myself in rock bands like RISE AGAINST has been instrumental in navigating through the darkest memories of my childhood. 7:09 Ship analogy, thanks! I encountered a challenging bout of anxiety in the past, vowing never to return to that state. This led me to retreat, suppress, and avoid situations altogether, causing me to miss out on opportunities that could have ultimately bolstered my growth.
This actually helps me a lot right now. I recently reconnected with a love from long ago. But not long after we reconnected he experienced a massively traumatic event. The kind that stays with a person for life. Suddenly we are both feeling sometimes crushing anxiety. He because he experienced the horrific event and I because I am doing my best to support him. I have been looking my own anxiety attacks in the face and trying to accept that it is there and that it will pass. In the meantime I try to do things that might help a little, like remembering to breathe. And when he asked me what to do with the memories of the traumatic experience I said I don't think there's much he can do other than to accept that the memories will remain. And they will flash back to remind him like a fresh wound again. I think that acceptance that the feelings and the memory are there is a start on the path to recovery. I try to be there for him when these attacks happen. I by default am a distraction. And I stay with him, even if only over the phone, until he is ready to sleep. I don't want him to lye there awake trying to sleep but being haunted by the memories instead. I want him to be able to talk with me until he thinks he can sleep when we say good night. I didn't know if I was doing any of this right. I still don't. I'm not a medical professional either. (And he doesn't want to see one.) I'm just trying to do the best I can to help him in whatever way seems right. And I'm trying to deal with my own anxiety about the whole situation. It's very helpful to hear that at least one other human being takes some of the same approaches that I have been. And it's so helpful to be reminded of some of the things that I may have forgotten to do. I appreciate this a lot. Thank you. Hopefully my story here will help a few people, too. (PS. I do know that trauma is not anxiety. But in a way I think it can be related to in a similar way. At least, that's what makes sense to me.)
Thanks for this video. You must have read my anxiety...it was terrible today. What you discussed is very useful and I identify with many of them. Sometimes, anger tends to break my anxiety loop and gives me the burst to continue with tasks involving cognitive functions, where I otherwise would feel completely stuck. Not sure if that's sustainable in the long run though.
My anxiety/panic usually starts like a low blood sugar episode, so I quickly get a little something sweet to eat, then have something with high protein. Then do breathing exercises, inhaling counting to seven then exhaling slowly until all my breath is expelled, and keeping that up til I feel better. If there’s no access to food, I just do the breathing exercise. Panic is a terrible feeling. I thought I was going to die. Other people thought so too, so I’ve ended up in the ER several times, cold, drenched in sweat, shaking uncontrollably, barely able to talk. I understand my body better now.
Love your content, ever so helpful!Hope things will stabilize soon for you, in the best way. Don't know if you did one already but i'd love to hear your take on autism and (internalised) shame... i experience film clips of any and all "shameful" incidents in my life (little things like asking a question in class) getting played back to me in my head, in the most random moments. I read in fora that many other autists also experience this. Is this something inherently autistic, or a result of shaming by the social environment? And how to deal with it/ get rid of it?
I've been through that "miserable experience/feeling" so many times without ever being able to clearly identify any single root cause ! On the "mental/psychological" approach, the important point is indeed not to add anxiety to "feeling confusely anxious"... and it needs training... definitely ! But I've come to another "material/biochemical" approach which is to take 1 (only one) tablet of an anxiolytic product (not any one, I've come to identify a special brand), which brings me to the idea that subtle cerebral biochemical processes are at work which you do not really control for yourself or with others...
Exactly. The brain is an organ, and while we can influence it, our control over its physiological processes has limits. That’s especially true of the nervous system, which is called autonomic for a reason.
Sometimes i find i just need to process, to just be without distraction for some time allowing my subconscious to do its thing. This happened today, I kept being distracted from my train of thought by my partner so i went for a big walk and now i feel way better.
Sensory deprevation helps me little bit in those cases. I spent a lot of time at my PC, often watching videos. This can generate overstimulation especially in combination with digestion. 30min with ANC headphones and eye cover does an almost full reset. I hope, this works for some
I'm quit good at reducing anxiety through self care, the thing is I often refuse myself this selfcare because I feel like I'm just hiding the dust under the carpet, while people, society and everything tell me I should put action to take care of the actual situation that make me so damn anxious. For example : I came to this video cause I feel anxious cause I need to find a job after I quit few weeks ago and I'm currently just aiming to work in vineyards near my home (plenty of those here) just as an in between things to make a living while I build up other projects and reassess how I want to live my life. Though going door to door to hand resumees and asking if they need workers is terrifying at the moment cause I'm quite going through some tough time mentally. So I'm paralysed to go but I don't allow myself to just just chill and lower my anxiety because I am expected to go out, find a job and make a living like a normal contributing member of society which makes me even more anxious. Which bring me to a question to people with autism that would have nicely read through my comment : how do you deal with your work life ? Like having and keeping a job ? For real the only job I had for more than 2 years ended up in severe depression and 6 monthes of medical leave before I was let go in way. Since then I'm struggling so hard to just have a job and not see it as a soul crushing experience taking any joy out of my life even doing things I'm passionate about, anxiety, social anxiety, heavy workloads, tiredness and whatvI consider underwaged jobs regarding to the skillset and tasks required just bit me piece after piece...
I’m ASD and I’m struggling with anxiety … for me it’s more and more stressful to take transport to go from A to B… I work hard to manage that but it’s not obvious. Have you the same fear feeling in transport (train … plane … unknown place … ) Greetings from France
❤Watched a few of your video's ,,,as a very young person, 7. or so I remember my mother telling me the school was holding me back a year ,,,kind of set me up for a life believing I was stupid and trying to prove I'm not! Writing as an expression of myself so much easier than speaking! Was autism even a thing in the 60 s ? Autism stuff really resonate s 🤔
That's an interesting point about your migraine medication. I was actually prescribed Propranolol (a beta blocker) for migraines when I was in my late teens, and when I was seeing a different GP about anxiety-related issues years later she noted that I had been taking "anxiety" medication for something that wasn't anxiety. I found those meds reduced my blood pressure way too much and I did have one dangerous reaction one time (in rural Thailand, so good luck finding help), so I stopped taking them. On a bit of a side-note, do you know what triggers your migraines, and do you think it is related to your diagnosis? I know that mine can be triggered at times when I have been hot/sweaty/dehydrated and unable to cool down/dry off, but they can also be triggered by/exacerbated by bright or flashing lights (hard to avoid when I am working as a studio photographer). Is it possible that they could be some kind of physical reaction to sensory issues?
Have you try GABA (750 more or less) + B6 (5php at around 100mg) + Zinc (40mg max) Autistic people lack GABA in the brain (calming) and often the migraines can lower/go away with this trio. Many other things should improve with this too.
My problem is that I'm always lost. I can't find my way back to anything. I get anxiety about it. I'm sure it's brain damage, but how do I deal with it? I can never stray to far from anywhere. I can't even get a job for fear I'll be lost in the building. That's real anxiety.
I don't know whether or not i have autism but i do relate a lot with your videos. I find they ressemble a lot of tools and strategies i developed through investigating self-help and trying stuff by myself. I am used to joke about being autistic and it helps me relate to people and makes people understand me a bit more. Anyway... Sometimes when i feel overwhelmed I am not able to recognize what i am feeling... usually it is anxiety or stress. Of course recognizing patterns and giving it a name helps a lot but i can only tell what it was once it is over. Is "difficulty differenciating feelings" an austistic trait?
I'm noticing light overstimulation is sometimes the cause of the unshakable anxiety feelings. I think this is called a meltdown, though. The whole process has really been a self-learning journey
Not a doctor and this is not a one for everyone solution, but supplementing daily with magnesium citrate has helped me manage depression and anxiety a lot. It’s not fully gone but it is way better and when I forget to take it , my body quickly reminds me I did 😅
I’ve taken both. Supposedly citrate metabolizes better. But yes, there have been weird times, mostly when I’ve been forgetting to take it, that it has made a pretty significant difference fairly fast. I’m skeptical that this is possible, and it doesn’t occur every time. But I’d say it helps in general. It seems most effective at relieving the inchoate fear style of anxiety for me, so I take it around sundown when that tends to show up.
I didn't regret it(cause I made a deal with myself not to) but the embarrassment is real biggggg, the awkwardness and everything yeah I can't, I don't even know how to properly socialize I don't know how face that person anymoreee😂😂😂😂. But well I just liked him too much to feel that desperate lol.
my 19 year old has difficulty managing anything that causes him stress or pressure- he has to run away ( often literally) from so many situations. he wants to go to college in sept but his anxiety is stopping him and i dont know how to help him
Do you know what the specific stresses and pressures are for him? Maybe taking apart the triggers that exist and understanding them more can help point him in the right direction. There are thankfully many different ways to attend college: remotely, hybrid, in person locally. Colleges also often offer additional academic support and counseling to students who need it.
Hi find your videos really helpful I would like some advice if you don’t mind would I would be really grateful. So I self diagnosed my self with Asperger’s from young I’ve had no friends and when I do they don’t last long always been a people pleaser awkwardness ect I’ve got 98% of the symptoms you talk about but I’m finding it hard to go to the doctors to get diagnosed as I don’t want them thinking I’m just putting it on to get extra help or extra benefits which ain’t the case I’ve worked all my life even if I switch jobs every 2 years as I have to because people don’t know how to take me. Would really appreciate it if you could reply to this Thank you?
Ive found if i feel anxious, taking some space to do some biiiiiig stimmy movements, like throwing myself onto my bed over and over again, or spinning in circles or some other super active thing that may even make me laugh, to be the most effective method for breaking up the physical tension in my body as a result of CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
I agree with big stimming. For me, that's cardio-type physical exercise. In my 20's, that was riding a bicycle. Now that I'm almost 60, it's walking. I find that if I push myself until I'm physically worn out, my brain seems to reset and my emotions stabilize for a while. It becomes much easier to be still and calm. Unfortunately, when I was younger, I saw this activity as a "crutch" because I was "weak." And therefore, I would sometimes prevent myself from doing that exercise, attempting to fix the problem through willpower. That always failed, sometimes catastrophically. Now I see it as a useful tool, and look for when those emotions are building too much, so that I can deal with them sooner than later. In fact, I do my walking daily, in part for maintaining my physical health, but also to keep my mental health more stabilized.
We on the autism spectrum react differently to pills and drugs in general. Your doctor should know this. I get horrible migraines too. I suggest you try the trick that has worked for me and for my neurotypical partner, who also gets migraines… drink a can of coca cola. The migraine disappears 85% of the time within 15 minutes. This is a trick from a friend of ours. It works most of the time. No idea why exactly. Good luck with the move! Remember… One box at a time. You can reorder in your own time without rushing once you’ve moved. Just get the essential done, one thing at a time.
If a full dose of migraine remover is too much, how about half? Or alternative medication. In your position, I'd likely try a smaller does, accept that my discomfort from the migraine won't be fully relieved, and head for bed with a distracting podcast, the wireless or some other distracting sound and hope the anxiety too will be less. ANC Science's Dr Ann Jones has some hours of sounds of Australian wildlife on RUclips that might help with meaningless background sound.
oh,, I call that being innervated. full of nerves, agitated. it is unpleasant and does not give me energy ; it is more like running on higher rev's instead of downshifting and having more power. Whatever the opposite of being in a groove is.
You should tell your doctors that your anxiety is such that you'd rather have a 12 hour migraine than 12 hours of anxiety. I think that is hat doctors would call medically significant anxiety. Extremely medically significant. You don't have to live that way. Have you tried pot? Or acid? Or lexapro? Trauma based therapy? All of the above?
Over the last 3 years my anxiety has completely taken over my life and I get physical reaction from the anxiety which makes it even worse so I avoid people ,I avoid phone calls and I feel scared almost 24/7. The doctors are no help as they just throw medication at me
I get migrains and was prescribed medication but opted not to put it in my body. Sounds like I made a wise decision on that front. Your videos are so good. I highly relate with all this. House hunting is a huge ordeal! Excellent advice throughout this video ✅️🙏😊
Certainly not advisable for everybody but, in all autistic honesty, when anxiety hits (very, very hard most of the time 🥵🥴) I just do cannabis and all angst flies off the window along with the smoke. 😂😜🤗
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It’s easier to deal with short term anxiety as its usually transitional, but many autistic people have GAD because they have trauma and are trauma survivors. When we have an anxiety disorder it is a constant state and very difficult to manage. Analysing the reason when this is a constant is only more triggering. This type of anxiety is ongoing and fuelled with intrusive thoughtforms which are exhausting.
Its is a constant feeling of uneasiness that you want to escape from. Dissociation from the debilitating effects of chronic anxiety is common and many of us spend our days running around in circles to try and escape what we are feeling. Couple this with being autistic and its not a good outcome.
Everyone throws the same management plans for us, mindfulness, CBT etc all of which don’t work for many autistic people. Honestly, I don’t even get peace when I sleep as my dreams are anxiety fuelled rubbish. I am 66 and I have had anxiety everyday most of my life and don’t know what it feels like to not have anxiety. I have tried so many things to get relief and now spend most of life as a recluse.
I feel this. The things that have helped me are more holistic therapy that goes beyond CBT (which can just try to desensitive you to rational and real feelings). Also being more vulnerable with my partner who is also autistic and has trauma, expressing all the dark unhappy stuff inside me and feeling there's one person who gets it
I've been diagnosed with GAD and am mildly autistic. I think I can relate to how you feel. The anxiety ebbs and flows but it's always there at some level. I've tried and continue to try many techniques to help me cope. Most of them help a bit but no silver bullet yet. An idea I found helpful was to recognise how I feel in the moment, accept the fact and just feel the feeling until it goes away. Eg. I feel bad so I just feel bad until I don't feel so bad. For me, this idea helps to shorten the cycle somehow.
One of the many parallels between Autism and TBI -( Traumatic Brain Injury ).. Don't ask me how I know!!
I'm so scared to become a heavily anxious mess, I can barely function already what do you mean it doesnt get better :/
I’m in exactly that situation.
That boat analogy is going to save me from so many panic decisions. THANK YOU!!!!
It's not good advice. If the situation sucked you should change it, if possible. If your boss keeps stressing you that stress might never stop and you would not make a decision ever and be trapped, in his example.
@@mreese8764 I was just saying that the analogy was good.
Don't change the plans because you panic.... you often have made the plans when you were thinking clearly, trust yourself.
@@CherrysJubileeJoyfully well, that good past plan clearly lead to a panic situation. How good was it? Do you trust your senses and say: I'm in a shitty situation and should change that. Or do you say: I was in a clear headed situation in the past, and everything I decided back then was good, even if I'm in a sister right now. Keep going.
The feedback loop mention, having anxiety about the anxiety creating more anxiety, reminded me of that phrase "even my anxiety has anxiety" which feels true for me. Having anxiety problems is something I continue too just try to learn to live with best I can because it's a 24/7 thing.
I am not sure if i have asperger's or not. It is a real possibility and I relate to many things you say in your videos. When I feel anxious, i try not to make important decisions, and i choose to isolate myself and get some sleep. After 12 hours of rest, i feel much better. Thank you so much for your channel, it is so useful
My anxiety went through the roof of late. It turns out I have hit peri menopause. This can make the things ADHD and Asperger's people struggle with, even more heightened, so it isn't always obvious that it is something new. I have never experienced such high anxiety before. I always deal with a certain level of it but this was crazy..
If you are female, in your late 40s, and things get super heightened, checkout the possibility that you may be hitting peri / pre menopause. There are some podcasts on the subject on RUclips too. It is starting to be talked about more.
This is so helpful, thank you. I am late diagnosed, last year at the age of 47, (female) it's good to know this. Appreciate you 😊
@@janinemills6732 I've just started hormone treatment. They are in the form of sticky patches as I struggle to swallow pills. I had to go private to get initial assessment, but I now get the treatment through NHS (UK). I feel less anxious already so I am hoping it is working long term. Good luck.
Oh geez. It gets worse? How do I unsubscribe?
Anxiety is a caged lion in my chest. This video is very helpful. Thank you.
I'm moving and don't have a place to live yet. I need to get a apartment when I get there,and driving alone with my cat 250-300 miles. I have driving anxiety and it's just eating me up all the unknowns. But it's the driving that's so overwhelmingly anxiety provoking and I'm just totally at a loss. I'm beyond even crying. I just feel so alone and vulnerable. And scared. I'm 58 years old and recently diagnosed.
You got this! ❤
I hope your cat, snuggling them, can bring you some relief. And I wish you wisdom and peace in your endeavours!
Driving is often one of the biggest anxieties. In your mind, make the drive a series of several shorter drives. A to B then say thanks that you got that far. Then B to C, C to D, D to E, etc. If you can, take a breather at each stopping point. Then once you arrive in the new city, have a meal or snack to give you energy and calm you.
Know that there are people praying for you and your safe travels.
Moving is very stressful.
pray.
it works
This is a very important topic related to Autism. I find that anxiety and autism are very much co-occuring in life. Having a lot of hypersensitivity to particular stimuli comes with alot of tension. I find this very true and utilizing external distractions, practicing mindfulness along with acceptance of myself in the particular situation I'm in is key when it comes to handling anxiety.
I have found that at least in some cases, when I am anxious, it can mean that I have a hidden emotion waiting to be processed. Like many of us, I have trouble recognizing some emotions, especially deeply buried ones, and I don't verbalize self-talk. Sometimes, if I have time to uncover the hidden emotion or belief (I hate to call it a belief, since it's not a verbal statement) and correct it, then I'm a little less anxious. For example, realizing that I had the hidden and rather silly belief that everyone else (esp. neurotypical people) was perfect but me was a milestone. Verbalizing this belief and seeing it for how ridiculous it was got rid of that little bit of anxiety. Another cause for anxiety for me is MSG and some artificial sugar substitutes, as well as suppressed physical discomfort. I especially don't like going fast, such as in a car, and this isn't because of a wreck or anything. I CAN ride or drive, but I think I have to struggle to process the scenery going by that quickly. Riding in a car makes me deeply anxious. But these are just my experiences.
I also find that lots of foods influence how I emotionally feel and am very careful what I eat. In addition to being overly structured and rigid about organizing my food, I refuse to eat out at most places or at people's houses and especially at work meetings and gatherings, since what they mostly have is pure poison (donuts, cupcakes, etc.). I don't think people are aware how influential food is over our moods, especially for people with extra challenges. I also totally relate to delayed emotional processing.
Moving too quickly might be a form of sensory overload.
My therapist reminds me that I need to stim more. It helps me ride out exhaustion, dread…you know..daily life! By the way I like seeing how well your plant is doing, thanks for keeping it in the picture
Wisdom
It was anxiety that made me seek help, then I discovered I was asd. Just knowing helped at first ( a distraction ) but often it's other people's judgement of me that hurts and sets off my circles and angst.
Thank you. Your descriptions let out a good soft cry of knowing how it feels.
I experienced what you described. When I don't get enough sleep, it can trigger or enhance physical symptoms.
I get epileptic seizures and that feeling comes before they happen and is enhanced during and after.
Weather changes, different foods, and medications can worsen it all (season, barometric pressure, atmospheric changed energies, EMF fields, opioids, sugar, dairy, gluten).
I get migraines and chronic pain daily just that is challenging.
It can be extremely overwhelming, and I shut down and just try to breathe through it.
Also, I am going through a difficult spiritual awakening while accepting my ASD only at 47, and on disability from chronic pain and illness. It's extremely hard to function.
Why are dissections about autism and spiritual awakening so limited? As if people with autism can't have spiritual gifts or experiences? This in itself can cause anxiety that manifests in the body, mind, and soul.
Separation of mind, body, and soul is a modern sad "reality". People can sense things, energy, vibrations, and frequencies and get overwhelmed, and not understand them or their cause. Everything and everyone are connected. Everything has a pattern purpose or function and there for a cause.
I am feeling alone and so different, wanting more than anything to be able to function, to heal and, just be me...
Food is so important!!! I had severe migraines most of my life, recently was found to be severely intolerant to gluten & dairy. Since I removed both from my diet migraines almost vanished. If i only knew earlier!!
Fiercely protective over my sleep routine, nutrition & physical exercise. When I have these 3 in tow and functioning, everything else is so much easier.
I feel for you when you say you feel alone and different. It breaks my heart to know many people with Autism, especially those that aren't yet trying to heal intentionally, think they are doomed and broken somehow, when the truth is there is so much beauty and heart in them, we just live in a world that was never made for us!
@@ivanaamidzicthank you very much😢. I too feel the same. Blessings always.❤❤. ❤
I wonder if you would appreciate the channel The Thought Spot here on youtube. She seems to have spiritual inclinations, and she's autistic.
What you describe is exactly (and with an surprisingly accuracy) what I feel lately. This radical change from a good mood and the next day in a terrible mood, is just so annoying to me. But I am really into self-help and the things around human psychology.
Two exercises which helped me a ton to reduce these kind of feelings are:
1. > Follow the trail of whys <
I got this from a coach (he uploads his content to youtube) and it basically means to ask yourself questions to identify the reasons behind those feelings eventually. Like: "Why I am feeling this or that? > come up with a potential answer > requestioning the answer > go deeper > repeat
2. > Letting go < (similar to the technique Paul mentioned in this video)
Especially helpful with traumatic experiences or events in the past that are really hard to overcome. This technique is a little bit tricky because you want to be triggered by your emotions, fears, anxiety (etc.) to allow them to surface and let them go in this process. When I started this, it was extremely difficult because of its potential to overwhelm you. Slowly, I am able to see progress from this kind of work and it feels great. Owning my autistic self and being proud of who I am and what I potentially able to give to other people.
Maybe this works for you too.
And I also want to mention that a lot negative feelings, having zero energy, sadness (etc.) could emerge from a depression (there are different types of depression). The fact that depression is neurological manifested in our brains should not be underestimated. Its very hard to do something against depressive episodes (besides seeking psychological AND medical help). Depression also correlates with our sleep. If you reduce or delay your sleep, it showed a significant change how a person (with depression) feels the next day. If you will, despression forms/release itself during sleep. There are some labs (at least here in germany) which investigate the correlation between sleep and depression.
PS: the boat analogy is really helpful.
Here's some info about this subject:
I've went to a psychedelic society meetup in Brussels last week, and as a very introverted person with autism, I was glad to learn about MDMA (through a lecture from book writer Rachel Nuwer, with her book I Feel Love.., because some autistic adults help themselves apparently massively with their social anxiety through taking MDMA over long periods of times. Haven't been able to confirm myself yet (but I did save myself and self heal, become better and stronger through psilocybin mushrooms and LSD).
M helps as well, but it is imperative to follow the healthy and safe usage protocols
I find it inconceivable that taking LSD will fix anything.
The description of anxiety was very relatable. Ive never been good at identifying it and would end up with a pain all over my body. I am still not great at it. The observation that it could be triggered by trying to control something you cannot predict was really insightful. It makes sense because I started getting them after my dad died. Before that I had very structured life and family that used to act as shield. After that life became very unpredictable and there has been no shield in the recent years.
I have communication issues which sometimes produce anxiety. I am so rarely interested in getting to know someone in depth, and I usually don't share about my inner world and feelings with anyone. And I do have rich and vivid inner outworld. Then once in a blue moon I meet someone so interesting and I wanna give him safety, friendship and understanding and all my intent gets miscommunicated somehow and this person gets totally opposite impression of me. :( I am used to every day prejudices, and intolerance from people, but I grew thick skin over my life time as a reaction to many wounds, injustice and rejection and misconception, but it still hurts so much when I dare to share a bit of me with someone and that gets across in a totally wrong way.
My most important lesson from recently - people at work are NOT my friends, no matter who they are, how they present and what they say. And even though I know all this already, I allowed someone to get closer than I should have, given that I met him at work. I honestly believed we were becoming friends, I wanted to give him safety and understanding, felt spiritually connected to him, and was looking forward to share coffee and conversation or silence, and go for a walk together (being too literal again). I could not have been more wrong!!!
The irony is we are both apparently autistic (he thinks he is and I think he is), he never knew I was too, but I never got a chance to share this with him (because I refuse to talk about it via texting or writing only with a new person). Also, ironically, there is no one that could relate to some of his issues that he shared about more than me.
Wow. I could have written this myself. Thanks for putting it in words.
Your description of how anxiety feels in your body is dead-on the same for me. My whole body feels like I'm licking a 9 volt battery's terminals. For many years I have fought this, thinking I really need to not feel like this. Your approach of just accepting it and consciously accepting that I'm just going to feel like crap for a while has really helped.
Very glad I found your channel.
Always enjoy hearing your thoughts. I think the storm analogy is good for dealing with tough emotions in general. Knowing it will pass. For people with general anxiety or trouble with emotional regulation, its extra important to "set your course" while you're calm, identify your plan and strategies for handling tough things ahead of time so you have that direction while you're weathering the storm
I am in a constant state of anxiety! But during the worst of it I feel totally justified and reasonable! Now looking back through the lens of autism (only found out last year, I am now 70) I can see how crazy I behaved and yet I continue 😢
It's a slow work in progress.
I'll often tell my husband things like "I know that this is just my current feelings; and my rational brain (that is currently a very quiet voice in the back of my mind) is telling me how I'll feel again in half an hour, but for the moment I need..." Depending on the circumstances that can be reassurance on whatever is spiking the anxiety; emotional validation; a deep pressure hug/weighted blanket break; some chocolate and RUclips or other form of peace and quiet to distract myself until it's/the worst has blown over....
Just sharing. If this isn't helpful, feel free to ignore it. 😊
I manage my anxiety with tranquillisers. I have taken Mellleril (Aldazine, Thoridazine) (which is no longer manufactured), Largactil, and am currently taking a small amount of Haloperidol (Serenace). I was bullied nearly every day at high school (1979 - 1984) because of the Asperger’s syndrome. At 57, I am travelling OK. The Serenace helps me to relax and cope in the workplace. I have a little bit of depression, more so dismayal.
Thank you for this very helpful video, there are many good things within. The allegory with the boat is very smart and I shall adopt that one for sure.
However there is one thing where my experiences are very different: Distracting myself never really helps. Sure, for as long as I do it, I feel the negative emotions less or not at all. But as soon as I stop, it all comes back, stronger than before, even. When I do not look the thing in the eye and take everything it throws at me and suffer through, it will find me later, when it has grown and I am unaware and weak. That might just be me, though.
Love
Lutan
This is a good point. I don't think he means distraction as in not dealing with it though. He talks about first identifying the cause of the anxiety and determining whats in and out of his control. Doing other activities is not meant to make the anxiety go away... it's for self care and enjoyment, getting on with things despite it. But you can't skip the part where you deal with it
That said some people (like with cptsd) actually may need to intentionally distract themselves and plan to confront some feelings and issues later, when they have enough resources and are in a safe place, like with family or a trusted therapist
@@jenniferredmond1034 Yes, I absolutely agree, what helps me is surely not for everyone, we all need to find a way that works for us and that may absolutely include responsibly used distractions. I would not want to take something that brings relief away from anyone.
For me, they have been a pitfall once. Do you think that has influenced my wording to bee too aggressive against them?
I'm moving about 450 miles away later in the year. We don't know exactly where yet. I have already started the process of cleaning out and packing so that I don't have too much anxiety when we move. I am organizing and cleaning etc. with a slow methodical plan. I am still formulating the plan, but that slow process sets the tone for when it is time to actually move. I will have a plan. I will have done most of the packing before the last month. I will be able to handle the anxiety that comes from all of the last minute unknowns and potential disasters (most likely won't happen). It will be hard for anxiety to live in a body that is moving slow and calm and trying to be centered...
This is how I leverage my organization skills to manage my weaknesses, thus giving me a sense of control of things I can control and a willingness to let go of things out of my control. Keeping my cool during stressful times gets easier as I am able to breathe and step back and see the bigger picture. Even if all of our stuff disappears, and we buy a crappy house, etc. we will be ok.
That is the practical. Prayer and Meditation are key...
Oh, and the Ignatius Spiritual Practice is awesome!
I have followed along with the book many times, and we have an Ignatius retreat center close to us (We will have a Benedictine retreat center close to our new home). We have done many retreats there. I will pray for you and your wife, that your move will be smooth and educational...😊
I've actually been using a lot of those strategies already, so thanks for the validation that I'm on the right track! Also, the boat analogy is super helpful!
Shared with friends and downloaded to watch again a few times. Valuable stuff. Thanks!
Your description of the feeling definitely resonates; restless-ness energy that can translate to physical pain and discomfort with nowhere to go so the experience is overall one of being stuck; this really narrows the focus on the thought and action processes which is very helpful for recognising it in future and identifying it in the past
In my experience, the types of sensations you describe come heavily from high levels of stress hormones. I suspect that I am predisposed to high levels due to prenatal exposure to my mother’s high levels. While glucocorticoids can become elevated because of a singular event like a massive adrenal burst (anger or panic), I think they can also become elevated due to persistent, well, stress, like working a lot or major changes to manage. Even if I don’t get into an anxiety loop, stress hormones are slow to recede. I suspect that predisposition to high levels of stress hormones is one reason autistic people get worn out quickly at times.
I’ve found that feeling the need to find the cause of my anxiety can be a symptom, so just like making decisions when I’m in an impaired state, trying to discern the reason at that time can be risky. My amygdala knows something is up, and by design looks for something external, even if the problem is really internal. That need to fix some issue right now is where I think anxiety meets irritability and need for control, and it can be very destructive of relationships.
I always note this next thing, because i think it is an incredibly useful fact that is not always known: the amygdala and the sympathetic nervous system can actually suppress higher thinking by design. It’s so a person can respond instantly to an actual threat, without taking time to think, but it’s not so helpful with threats that are mispercieved. I’ve known for a longer time that it’s why I can’t think straight in a panic attack, or control myself during a fight or flight/meltdown, but it’s been more recently that I’ve started to sense a lower level fear response poking at me during more generalized anxiety, when I am feeling like something is very wrong, and someone needs to stop doing...SOMETHING...right now. It can be very hard to thwart that feeling, and the suppression of higher thinking is probably why.
Some very good points! Especially about the fear suppressing thinking.
Massimo Pigliucci helped me. He deals with the Stoics and his book "How to be a Stoic" always helps me. In unpleasant situations, I ask myself the question "Can I change something?". If the environment is too loud, I can use my noise-cancelling headphones, for example. If a situation cannot be changed or I cannot avoid it, then I simply move on, knowing that this unpleasant experience or feeling will also pass.
Thank you so much for this Paul. I've struggled so much with this exact feeling, and it's extremely helpful to hear someone else describe having the same thing, especially because I've never been able to articulate the feeling in words. Your suggestions also match up precisely with what I've learned for myself - the best thing is to relax and accept that I'm just not feeling good at the moment, and to ask myself what I could do to at least take the edge off of the feeling.
this actually sounds a lot like me. i can definitely recognize myself in this description. i hate wasting time on trying to find out what causes my anxiety, but it really helps me to know
~ 4:00 this is what I'm stuck in, but I'm calling it Anger
Thank you so, so much! Your 'Are you autistic' and 'differences between ADHD and ASD mate me woder for the first time. Because I was put on Fluoxetin, I just was able to see parts of myself under the ADHD that I haven't seen for years, and I selfidentified as autistic, ten years after an ADHD diagnosis, and I finally feel like myself and getting some selfworth back!
Thanks ill try this as atm I've developed drug addictions to treat these feelings
Very helpful, thank you 😊
I can relate to this i have not been diagnosed with autism but suffer terrible anxiety, stress, depression and fatigue.
And thanks for the video! The anxiety needs to run its course and we need to ride the wave to better times. Easier said than done. Letting go is the way.
2:59 Metallica shirt! Immersing myself in rock bands like RISE AGAINST has been instrumental in navigating through the darkest memories of my childhood.
7:09 Ship analogy, thanks! I encountered a challenging bout of anxiety in the past, vowing never to return to that state. This led me to retreat, suppress, and avoid situations altogether, causing me to miss out on opportunities that could have ultimately bolstered my growth.
Thanks, this also helps with PTSD. I need reminders and simple steps. Good timing.
Solid video reminding us how important self awareness is when it comes to tackling new or old everyday challenges. Needed this today, thank you Paul
This actually helps me a lot right now. I recently reconnected with a love from long ago. But not long after we reconnected he experienced a massively traumatic event. The kind that stays with a person for life.
Suddenly we are both feeling sometimes crushing anxiety. He because he experienced the horrific event and I because I am doing my best to support him.
I have been looking my own anxiety attacks in the face and trying to accept that it is there and that it will pass. In the meantime I try to do things that might help a little, like remembering to breathe.
And when he asked me what to do with the memories of the traumatic experience I said I don't think there's much he can do other than to accept that the memories will remain. And they will flash back to remind him like a fresh wound again. I think that acceptance that the feelings and the memory are there is a start on the path to recovery.
I try to be there for him when these attacks happen. I by default am a distraction. And I stay with him, even if only over the phone, until he is ready to sleep. I don't want him to lye there awake trying to sleep but being haunted by the memories instead. I want him to be able to talk with me until he thinks he can sleep when we say good night.
I didn't know if I was doing any of this right. I still don't. I'm not a medical professional either. (And he doesn't want to see one.) I'm just trying to do the best I can to help him in whatever way seems right.
And I'm trying to deal with my own anxiety about the whole situation.
It's very helpful to hear that at least one other human being takes some of the same approaches that I have been. And it's so helpful to be reminded of some of the things that I may have forgotten to do. I appreciate this a lot. Thank you.
Hopefully my story here will help a few people, too.
(PS. I do know that trauma is not anxiety. But in a way I think it can be related to in a similar way. At least, that's what makes sense to me.)
I will pray for you
@@GEORGIABOY23 Thank you. 🙏
Thanks for this video. You must have read my anxiety...it was terrible today. What you discussed is very useful and I identify with many of them. Sometimes, anger tends to break my anxiety loop and gives me the burst to continue with tasks involving cognitive functions, where I otherwise would feel completely stuck. Not sure if that's sustainable in the long run though.
My anxiety/panic usually starts like a low blood sugar episode, so I quickly get a little something sweet to eat, then have something with high protein. Then do breathing exercises, inhaling counting to seven then exhaling slowly until all my breath is expelled, and keeping that up til I feel better. If there’s no access to food, I just do the breathing exercise. Panic is a terrible feeling. I thought I was going to die. Other people thought so too, so I’ve ended up in the ER several times, cold, drenched in sweat, shaking uncontrollably, barely able to talk. I understand my body better now.
Love your content, ever so helpful!Hope things will stabilize soon for you, in the best way. Don't know if you did one already but i'd love to hear your take on autism and (internalised) shame... i experience film clips of any and all "shameful" incidents in my life (little things like asking a question in class) getting played back to me in my head, in the most random moments. I read in fora that many other autists also experience this. Is this something inherently autistic, or a result of shaming by the social environment? And how to deal with it/ get rid of it?
I had anxiety since I was born and still now as an adult. I can not get out of anxiety!
I've been through that "miserable experience/feeling" so many times without ever being able to clearly identify any single root cause ! On the "mental/psychological" approach, the important point is indeed not to add anxiety to "feeling confusely anxious"... and it needs training... definitely ! But I've come to another "material/biochemical" approach which is to take 1 (only one) tablet of an anxiolytic product (not any one, I've come to identify a special brand), which brings me to the idea that subtle cerebral biochemical processes are at work which you do not really control for yourself or with others...
Exactly. The brain is an organ, and while we can influence it, our control over its physiological processes has limits. That’s especially true of the nervous system, which is called autonomic for a reason.
Sometimes i find i just need to process, to just be without distraction for some time allowing my subconscious to do its thing. This happened today, I kept being distracted from my train of thought by my partner so i went for a big walk and now i feel way better.
Very well-timed video, and extremely useful.
Thank you. This advice was much needed.
What comes out of your face hole is very helpful.
Thanks
Sensory deprevation helps me little bit in those cases. I spent a lot of time at my PC, often watching videos. This can generate overstimulation especially in combination with digestion. 30min with ANC headphones and eye cover does an almost full reset.
I hope, this works for some
Thanks very helpful
I'm quit good at reducing anxiety through self care, the thing is I often refuse myself this selfcare because I feel like I'm just hiding the dust under the carpet, while people, society and everything tell me I should put action to take care of the actual situation that make me so damn anxious.
For example : I came to this video cause I feel anxious cause I need to find a job after I quit few weeks ago and I'm currently just aiming to work in vineyards near my home (plenty of those here) just as an in between things to make a living while I build up other projects and reassess how I want to live my life. Though going door to door to hand resumees and asking if they need workers is terrifying at the moment cause I'm quite going through some tough time mentally. So I'm paralysed to go but I don't allow myself to just just chill and lower my anxiety because I am expected to go out, find a job and make a living like a normal contributing member of society which makes me even more anxious.
Which bring me to a question to people with autism that would have nicely read through my comment : how do you deal with your work life ? Like having and keeping a job ?
For real the only job I had for more than 2 years ended up in severe depression and 6 monthes of medical leave before I was let go in way. Since then I'm struggling so hard to just have a job and not see it as a soul crushing experience taking any joy out of my life even doing things I'm passionate about, anxiety, social anxiety, heavy workloads, tiredness and whatvI consider underwaged jobs regarding to the skillset and tasks required just bit me piece after piece...
I’m ASD and I’m struggling with anxiety … for me it’s more and more stressful to take transport to go from A to B… I work hard to manage that but it’s not obvious. Have you the same fear feeling in transport (train … plane … unknown place … )
Greetings from France
❤Watched a few of your video's ,,,as a very young person, 7. or so I remember my mother telling me the school was holding me back a year ,,,kind of set me up for a life believing I was stupid and trying to prove I'm not! Writing as an expression of myself so much easier than speaking! Was autism even a thing in the 60 s ? Autism stuff really resonate s 🤔
That's an interesting point about your migraine medication. I was actually prescribed Propranolol (a beta blocker) for migraines when I was in my late teens, and when I was seeing a different GP about anxiety-related issues years later she noted that I had been taking "anxiety" medication for something that wasn't anxiety. I found those meds reduced my blood pressure way too much and I did have one dangerous reaction one time (in rural Thailand, so good luck finding help), so I stopped taking them.
On a bit of a side-note, do you know what triggers your migraines, and do you think it is related to your diagnosis? I know that mine can be triggered at times when I have been hot/sweaty/dehydrated and unable to cool down/dry off, but they can also be triggered by/exacerbated by bright or flashing lights (hard to avoid when I am working as a studio photographer). Is it possible that they could be some kind of physical reaction to sensory issues?
First person waiting 🐸
Have you try GABA (750 more or less) + B6 (5php at around 100mg) + Zinc (40mg max)
Autistic people lack GABA in the brain (calming) and often the migraines can lower/go away with this trio.
Many other things should improve with this too.
Paul, do u take medicine for yur anxiety? I need to know. Thank you ahead of time. Blessings, always😊
My problem is that I'm always lost. I can't find my way back to anything. I get anxiety about it. I'm sure it's brain damage, but how do I deal with it? I can never stray to far from anywhere. I can't even get a job for fear I'll be lost in the building. That's real anxiety.
Thank you
What migraine medication were you referring to?
What are the best books you have read about autism? I'm struggling a lot with anxiety and stress lately.
Keep yhinking don’t worry that he wants something!! I need to just pretend he’ll leave me alone!!!!
I don't know whether or not i have autism but i do relate a lot with your videos.
I find they ressemble a lot of tools and strategies i developed through investigating self-help and trying stuff by myself.
I am used to joke about being autistic and it helps me relate to people and makes people understand me a bit more.
Anyway... Sometimes when i feel overwhelmed I am not able to recognize what i am feeling... usually it is anxiety or stress.
Of course recognizing patterns and giving it a name helps a lot but i can only tell what it was once it is over.
Is "difficulty differenciating feelings" an austistic trait?
Thank you!
I'm noticing light overstimulation is sometimes the cause of the unshakable anxiety feelings. I think this is called a meltdown, though. The whole process has really been a self-learning journey
TBI -( Traumatic Brain Injury ) and Autism are both quite similar... Anxiety is a common symptom of both of these conditions...
Don't ask me how I know!!
Not a doctor and this is not a one for everyone solution, but supplementing daily with magnesium citrate has helped me manage depression and anxiety a lot. It’s not fully gone but it is way better and when I forget to take it , my body quickly reminds me I did 😅
I take magnesium oxide
I’ve taken both. Supposedly citrate metabolizes better. But yes, there have been weird times, mostly when I’ve been forgetting to take it, that it has made a pretty significant difference fairly fast. I’m skeptical that this is possible, and it doesn’t occur every time. But I’d say it helps in general. It seems most effective at relieving the inchoate fear style of anxiety for me, so I take it around sundown when that tends to show up.
Good choice.
What helped me was combo of Magnesium Citrite, L-Theanine and D3+K2
20 years of anxiety gone in 3 weeks.
"don't make decisions when feeling desperate" not me chatting my crush in the middle of the day😭😭😭😭😭
I didn't regret it(cause I made a deal with myself not to) but the embarrassment is real biggggg, the awkwardness and everything yeah I can't, I don't even know how to properly socialize I don't know how face that person anymoreee😂😂😂😂. But well I just liked him too much to feel that desperate lol.
my 19 year old has difficulty managing anything that causes him stress or pressure- he has to run away ( often literally) from so many situations. he wants to go to college in sept but his anxiety is stopping him and i dont know how to help him
Do you know what the specific stresses and pressures are for him? Maybe taking apart the triggers that exist and understanding them more can help point him in the right direction. There are thankfully many different ways to attend college: remotely, hybrid, in person locally. Colleges also often offer additional academic support and counseling to students who need it.
Hi find your videos really helpful I would like some advice if you don’t mind would I would be really grateful. So I self diagnosed my self with Asperger’s from young I’ve had no friends and when I do they don’t last long always been a people pleaser awkwardness ect I’ve got 98% of the symptoms you talk about but I’m finding it hard to go to the doctors to get diagnosed as I don’t want them thinking I’m just putting it on to get extra help or extra benefits which ain’t the case I’ve worked all my life even if I switch jobs every 2 years as I have to because people don’t know how to take me. Would really appreciate it if you could reply to this Thank you?
Ive found if i feel anxious, taking some space to do some biiiiiig stimmy movements, like throwing myself onto my bed over and over again, or spinning in circles or some other super active thing that may even make me laugh, to be the most effective method for breaking up the physical tension in my body as a result of CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
I agree with big stimming. For me, that's cardio-type physical exercise. In my 20's, that was riding a bicycle. Now that I'm almost 60, it's walking. I find that if I push myself until I'm physically worn out, my brain seems to reset and my emotions stabilize for a while. It becomes much easier to be still and calm.
Unfortunately, when I was younger, I saw this activity as a "crutch" because I was "weak." And therefore, I would sometimes prevent myself from doing that exercise, attempting to fix the problem through willpower. That always failed, sometimes catastrophically. Now I see it as a useful tool, and look for when those emotions are building too much, so that I can deal with them sooner than later. In fact, I do my walking daily, in part for maintaining my physical health, but also to keep my mental health more stabilized.
We on the autism spectrum react differently to pills and drugs in general. Your doctor should know this. I get horrible migraines too. I suggest you try the trick that has worked for me and for my neurotypical partner, who also gets migraines… drink a can of coca cola. The migraine disappears 85% of the time within 15 minutes. This is a trick from a friend of ours. It works most of the time. No idea why exactly. Good luck with the move! Remember… One box at a time. You can reorder in your own time without rushing once you’ve moved. Just get the essential done, one thing at a time.
Caffeine is an effective migraine reducer, but also causes anxiety for many people. Catch 22 😢
Great topic. Please don't use the sound bursts when posting text on the screen. Thanks
My current psychiatrist has labeled me as autistic, OCD, and anxiety. Is the anxiety related to the autism?
Maybe your anxiety related to ASD. Also think it's connected to OCD. I have that too. 12:04
Anxiety and depression are common side effects of autism, ADHD, and OCD. Especially if those conditions go untreated for a long time.
If a full dose of migraine remover is too much, how about half? Or alternative medication.
In your position, I'd likely try a smaller does, accept that my discomfort from the migraine won't be fully relieved, and head for bed with a distracting podcast, the wireless or some other distracting sound and hope the anxiety too will be less.
ANC Science's Dr Ann Jones has some hours of sounds of Australian wildlife on RUclips that might help with meaningless background sound.
oh,, I call that being innervated. full of nerves, agitated. it is unpleasant and does not give me energy ; it is more like running on higher rev's instead of downshifting and having more power. Whatever the opposite of being in a groove is.
You should tell your doctors that your anxiety is such that you'd rather have a 12 hour migraine than 12 hours of anxiety. I think that is hat doctors would call medically significant anxiety. Extremely medically significant. You don't have to live that way. Have you tried pot? Or acid? Or lexapro? Trauma based therapy? All of the above?
Over the last 3 years my anxiety has completely taken over my life and I get physical reaction from the anxiety which makes it even worse so I avoid people ,I avoid phone calls and I feel scared almost 24/7. The doctors are no help as they just throw medication at me
I get migrains and was prescribed medication but opted not to put it in my body. Sounds like I made a wise decision on that front. Your videos are so good. I highly relate with all this. House hunting is a huge ordeal! Excellent advice throughout this video ✅️🙏😊
Im not autistic but this was helpful
Who is on your ceiling that you keep looking up at? I sense that I may be missing something.
Sounds like hypertension. It is similar.
Certainly not advisable for everybody but, in all autistic honesty, when anxiety hits (very, very hard most of the time 🥵🥴) I just do cannabis and all angst flies off the window along with the smoke. 😂😜🤗
1:53. Stand Back.
I'd rather see you standing, bouncing your stress ball. It's genuinely you.
You have had better sound too, what have you done?
I go to bed lol
Sounds like the Australian government
Spending time with God usually helps me
Thank you