Expectations vs. reality of having a baby
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- Опубликовано: 5 июн 2024
- Today’s video is all about shedding light my true experiences as a new mom - MY EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY OF HAVING A BABY! Thank you to Blueland for sponsoring this video! Get 20% off your first Blueland purchase here: www.blueland.com/lucie
In this video, I’m pulling back the curtain on all things new motherhood. I’m a 29-year-old new mama, as you likely already know if you’ve been subscribed to my RUclips channel for the past year. As the first of my friends to have a baby, I wasn’t really sure what was in store for me as I took on the new role of MOM. And boy, was I in for a few surprises.
CHAPTERS:
00:00-02:00 - Having a baby and becoming a mom
03:41-05:14 - Bonding with baby, postpartum and how our home changed
05:15-06:41 - My new favorite cleaning supplies
06:42-09:20 - Work, sleep, and breastfeeding
09:21-12:40 - The postpartum party, family photos, and anxiety
12:41- 17:40 - Outfits postpartum, newborn clothes + baby sleep
Michael and I knew we were ready to have kids. We were excited and mentally ready to take on this new adventure together. We chat more about HOW WE KNEW WE WERE READY TO HAVE A BABY in depth in this video: • How we knew we were re...
Motherhood can accurately be described as a rollercoaster. There are a ton of highs and lows, all of which usually come within a short amount of time. Looking back at when we thought we were “ready” to have kids, I now realize there is no way to truly be ready. I had no idea how much things were about to change in our lives. Of course, many for the better. But a lot of emotions were coming. Motherhood expectation vs reality is never quite aligned. STORY TIME:
One of the first expectations I had was that I would love my son. This was a given. I knew that I was excited and could not wait for those coveted newborn baby snuggles. The reality: I had no idea just how much I would love him. Yes, it sounds cheesy, and I don’t care in the slightest. I AM UTTERLY OBSESSED. I jump out of bed in the morning so excited to feed him. In the evenings, when we lay him down for the night, I’m genuinely sad that he’s not with us. If you’ve ever seen those memes of parents missing their kids when they sleep…yes, those are accurate!
You hear that the end of pregnancy is THE WORST. At least, that’s how I felt as I neared the end of those last few weeks of pregnancy. What I didn’t expect was that the first few weeks of postpartum would be even more taxing physically and emotionally. I was so excited to get to postpartum life, but it was definitely not the rainbow I was picturing. My body needed so much more postpartum care and, on top of that, I was taking care of a newborn. The motherhood journey is wild.
Another shock for me was that I always envisioned our living space would feel the exact the same, just with a cute baby nearby. The reality was, our living space took on a whole new energy. It was now covered in burp cloths and laundry. There were bassinets in the main living areas and our office became a graveyard full of baby items we weren’t quite ready to use yet. Our perfectly styled foyer is now a parking lot for strollers and our once pristene kitchen is now a holding station for all the bottles and pump parts we use on the daily.
Another expectation..I fully expected that I would want to disconnect from work completely and give 110% of my attention to the baby. I quickly realized that in those first few weeks, newborns sleep a lot during the day. This gave me the opportunity to dabble in work. Truthfully, becoming a mom made me even more inspired and I enjoyed hopping on the laptop. It made me feel like ME!
There are so many little and big things that I thought would be one way and were the total opposite. From dressing my postpartum body, to having a camera-roll full of family photos, to the ability to now have supersonic hearing for Milo, it was all so different from what I expected. I cover even more expectations I had versus the reality in today’s video! I hope you enjoy.
Check out the expectation versus the reality of having a baby! I hope this video gives you a good laugh, and a peek into motherhood in all its glory. Let me know in the comments below: what surprised you about having a baby?
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Развлечения
I would like a video on what's helpful/supportive things your friends or family can do during the first months of postpartum. Bringing meals or watching the baby while you go take a shower, things like that. My sister is having a baby this week and I want to be supportive but not too much.
LOVEEE this idea
Yes, this! And also if you can how you can be supportive from a distance (my sister is having her first baby but lives on the other side of the country).
Could totally relate to the sobbing to each other and asking, “what have we done?” That was me and my husband the first three weeks too. Nobody talks about how it takes a toll on you mentally
These expectations and realities are so 💯
The crying the first few weeks of “what have we done?!” The living in maternity wear and sweats. The SuperSonics hearing. So many things!!!
I’m so happy you mentioned your concerns about his breathing! I don’t have children yet, but about 12 years ago my best friend let me watch her 2 month old over night by myself and that evening almost killed me!! I didn’t sleep at all! I kept checking she was still alive. This memory has stuck!! And I’ve always been so scared I’ll do the same thing when I’m a mom 🤣🤦🏻♀️
Thank you for sharing, Lucie!! I’m 33 weeks and I’m really scared about how anxious I’ll be when my baby is sleeping but you’re giving me some hope!!!
I'm not planning to have kids tbh, but I'm really happy for you! Thank you for being so honest and transparent about the realities of having a baby! I rarely see people be so candid, so it's much appreciated. I'm also so happy to hear that you're still following your passions and working on projects you love! :) It's so hard when I see women who have given up on their dreams/aspirations in life to take care of a baby, but it also seems extremely challenging to juggle both. You're wonderful! I'm looking forward to more videos!!
Great video!! My "baby" is 18 and will graduate high school in a couple months. This talk certainly brought back memories. Supersonic mom hearing is no joke!!!!
This video is one of the most honest I've seen. Having a 3 year old, I feel like the baby stage is like a bubble you enter and get out 2 years later. During that time all you can think and see is baby related things. I feel it starts super intensive and gets better and better
I loved the layout of this vid, chunking the topic into bite sized bits with examples and graphics. Also the subject matter is super interesting and helpful as someone who's still unsure if I'll want kids in the future or not. I find all the kid content still really engaging!
As a first-time mom I 100% relate to almost all of these!! Thank you for sharing :)
Aww thanks for sharing your motherhood journey Lucie ! ❤️ sending love to your family. This gave me so much more insight into motherhood and actually gave me a lot more empathy towards my friends who are new mothers. It made me so proud of them and what they are going through. Because they are living away from home state and have no support from either side of the families.
Lastly it was also most reassuring to know you are still you and all you aspirations and things that matters to you still matters 🥰
I’m so proud of you too ❤️. I’ve watched so many of your Lucie Tries. And now you’re a mother 🥺! Hehe definetly your peak of “ Lucie tries series”. Well all the best and I’m staying tuned ❤️❤️
Love hearing updates on motherhood for you Lucie!! 💕
Thank you for this video, Lucie, I really enjoyed the content being a relatively new mother myself! The phantom crying is something that I also experience a lot and I could relate to many more of your experiences.
Currently pregnant and the video approach / style was super refreshing and helpful, while still being entertaining!
Also pregnant and completely agree! Love your perspective and how you shared your journey.
Thank you for sharing! 💕 I don't know if I will ever be a mom but I find this very interesting and helpful and the way you edit and film your videos is very amusing 🌷🌷🌷
Love this! I’m a new Mama to a 7mo baby girl, and I feel all of this. Side note: our little one also has that LovEvery playmat and is *obsessed* Love all the new mom life content! 💞
My cats already keep me sleep deprived 😞 good to hear about your positive relationship with work!
Thank you so much for sharing everything in such an honest and open way. You addressed sooo many key worries that almost no one talks about. I'm just in that time where I'm considering when to start looking and this helped a lot ♥
I love how well you explained it! You are awesome, thanks for sharing! I agree with everything you said, especially with an exhaustion
Extremely accurate and relatable…my baby is 18 weeks old…best time of my life after 6 losses. I love every minute…it’s very hard at the start…terrifying at times…also wonderful…it’s the most contradictory experience of my life😂
This was a great video! Im a first time mom due in July and I know that I have expectations, but I actually have no idea what is going to be my reality. It was really nice to hear your reality compared to your original expectations :)
This was so helpful! I always here parents say “there no way you can prepare or know what to expect” but comparing your expectations + personal experience helped shed a light on some of my own expectations as well
I loved this video. You talked about making it weeks ago and I was so happy to finally get to see it!!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻thanks for this one. So interesting!
Thanks for sharing! I appreciate you keeping your house as is for the video 💕💕
Watching this nursing my 3 week old firstborn & heartily agree lucie! My reality slightly different in places but overall very similar! Great video :)
Thank you for sharing! My Liam turned 4 months today and phew do I relate to everything you said. It is so helpful to hear another first time mom's experiences.
I enjoyed this. Life isn’t like a magazine with perfectly placed flowers and zero clutter. Like you mentioned everyone’s experiences and expectations are different. I think it’s good for people to know it’s okay if your life doesn’t look like an Instagram page. There are lessons to be learned along the way through the challenges and struggles.
Thank you for this! I’m due in August and I feel more prepared from seeing this!
I relate to every single one of these realities. For most I didn't necessarily have the expectation, but the reality is there! The family photo one is a reaaaal one. and even mommy and baby photos are so rare unless it's a selfie. My partner is not necessarily the photo type of guy, so it's really something I'm missing and am frustrated about.
This is so true!! I have 6-month-old twins and the first few months were the hardest months of my life. Every day is still difficult but it's significantly better. It feels like you're the only one struggling with all the happy pictures on insta. One other thing that totally caught me off guard is how much responsibility can be put on the mom if the father isn't supportive. Breastfeeding and pumping are enormous time commitments when you're feeding a baby every 2-3 hours. After breastfeeding and then pumping I'd have 35 minutes for myself to eat something before the next feed began again! The first few months were brutal... pumping in the middle of the night, crying; and knowing that your partner is sleeping. It takes a toll. It's easy for an unsupportive father to leave it on the mother. I think about moms who have to do it on their own every day. I hear many of our grandparents say how the mom did everything. This seems so cruel to me. Anyhow, thank you for making this video. These are the most important things to watch, wish I would've focused on this rather than the material/nursery content.
The wife can pump milk so the dad can help with feeding too. Like if you need a break if your husband is off work leave him with the babies for a couple hours. Go get a mani pedi or have a lunch date with a friend.
One of the reasons I decided to be childfree, I know majority of the work will fall on me as the female
Spot on Lucie! And with the next one your expectation will also differ from reality. 😃 I thought having a second child would be just adding another human, and we had that down. Reality was that it was like having a baby for the first time, again. Loved every second, though I had all the fears and sleepless nights and a second cesarean wound to heal from.
So interesting!!! You would think the 2nd would be like “I’ve got this.”😭😢😂😂😂
@@luciebfink yup, that's exactly what I thought. I must say, that I was a bit more relaxed with my second one, once the blues and panic was over. And they're 11 and 6 now. And now other things worry me. 😆 🤣
Currently 8 days postpartum and this is spot on. ESP the crying in the first week and breastfeeding…both of those deserve their own video.
19 wks with my first and I love this!! Very honest.
Blue land is actually awesome. I love their hand soaps.
I can't handle my periods, even when thier light so I can't imagine being pregnant, giving birth and postpartum... the discomfort 😪 to all the women who have gone through this, I commend you. Y'all are so amazing and I hope you will always remember that
Would love to see a video giving tips on the first week after birth! Love your content thank you!!
Harry Potter magic!! Yes! I tell my four month old little guy every day that he is magic, and I’m so happy he’s here. Thanks for sharing the video, Lucie! As a postpartum mama, I identified with a lot of these too!
You seem like such a strong person, a great mom, an amazing wife, and a loyal friend. You are so beautiful and I love your outfits haha ❤️love you
Love the eco friendly haul! I need to up my game 😂💕
Thank you for your honest review!
Just found out I'm pregnant (about 5 weeks) so this video came at just the right time!
I'm due in July and this was really informative, thank you ☺️
Same here!
I had two under two and was on my own with a newborn and a nearly two year old that couldn't walk and didn't until she was four. You seriously have no idea what exhausted is 👀
I am 4 months pregnant and I am scared🙈🙂Thanks to this video, starting to be mentally prepared 🤗
Lucie I would LOVEEE to see you and Colleen Ballinger talk about your experiences with babies, parenting, and pumping together. (: ❤️
Made it to the end of the video. Omg the phantom cry!!! 😂 i thought it was just me
Happy Earth Day Lucie 🌍
THANK YOU for saying that you and your husband had the crying moments of “what have we done?” I had this as well, and I felt like the worst mother because I thought I was only supposed to feel happiness.
it was SOOO intense!!!
I felt same way but in my case I had postnatal depression with severe anxiety after his birth took me a few months feel better with help of medication. I thought it would be all roses but my experience was far from that. Now my son is 17 months and loving every moment. My expectations were far from my reality. I just want everyone to know there is great help and support from doctors and facilities out there for mothers who go through postnatal and always ask for help from family and friends. I went to one and meet some amazing mothers who also had same issue as me. Expectation is not always the reality.
@@mrslellie2645 I had PPD as well, and I agree it’s so important to reach out and utilize the resources available. I was so grateful to the team at the hospital who made sure I had information for who to call if I found myself in need of help, and after a couple of weeks of what felt like nonstop tears I reached out and received help in the form of medication and talk therapy. I was also super honest with my friends and family who asked me how I was, and I found that really helpful because they were all very supportive. I feel very lucky that I have come out of it pretty quickly, and like you said, everything is completely different and so much better now! I’m trying to make sure I take every opportunity to tell others that it’s ok to feel how you feel and help is out there. ❤️❤️
@@albertsonj66380 thank you for sharing you’re experience’s. I find not many of us talk about it. I can say at time I didn’t want my son and didn’t know to live and combine his needs and mine together at the time. Exactly felt like what in earth were we thinking. I am older mum at 43 reason for it.. long story. However, amen for the hospitals and staff who help us get through it. I was not in my right frame of mind but now thank goodness over it and could not see my life without my son. Love him to pieces. I agree with you it is okay. Both hubby and me cried lots. But our journey has lead us now to be better parents and spoil him rotten. Hehe.
Even though my 7 months old baby is my second child I still think WHAT have i done to myself! Motherhood is intense in all directions but babies are oh so woth it
The vedio really helped me!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Great video!
Don’t want to have kids and I was really surprised and touched when you mentioned that in your video. I was thoroughly entertained though! Your doing amazing! 😊
Just bought my Blueland products got the dish soap, laundry pack and multi-purpose cleaner 😁
This is very accurate!!
Im glad you added how old you are. I'm a few years younger but I feel like everyone even younger than me is having a baby and I'm like wow I'm behind.
But no that's just how it is in Utah. It's weird.
this is so relatable! i wish i had educated myself more on newborns but I learned as I went
I’m definitely the opposite of you. I never stressed at all that my son was doing good while he was inside me but now that he’s two weeks old I’m constantly afraid he’s not breathing. I really like the advice you gave saying that he’s a caveman he’ll know how to breathe. That really does help ease some of my anxiety. This is a great video that is really helpful!
This is a great video! My baby girl just turned 1, and I can't think of anything that went the way I thought it would. Lol
Thank you for sharing your experiences as a new mom :)
So true! I will say a lot of this is easier with the second kid (except the sleep deprivation…that always sucks!)
Ya second kid is my breeze! He’s so self sufficient 😂
The blueland products look amazing. Definitely buying
they're GREAT! So minimal!
Exactly me! Same expectations……same reality 😂 goood…..bad…..and the ugly. But also, the best!
Lucie, I'm due at the end of August and I'm a new mom! I would LOVE a breastfeeding and pumping video because it seems so confusing. Thank you!
I’d love to see that too! Due September 🤞🏽
Look into aeroflow breast pumps! They sell a different brands and bill your insurance. And the pump comes with around 10 zoom courses about breastfeeding and pumping! I’m 31 weeks and these classes are helping so much!
Hi !!Matching on many points !! Sleep deprivation is horrible !! I remember for my 1st baby, not expecting that I would ask myself thousands of question a minute... He is cold ? hot ? did I burp him right ? feed him enough ?... and so on ! Thank you for taking the time to put words on what you go through, this is really interesting ! take good care :)
Great video! I can relate with all of the points you made. How often during the day and night do you pump?
When we don't have our nanny, I nurse him all day and then only pump at night before I go to sleep (when he's already asleep)- but on days our nanny is here, I am doing work and she bottle feeds him so I pump 4x a day and then 1x before bed too!
Yes so relatable on so many levels!! Good to talk about it, especially the postpartum feeling, it really struck me and because I knew it was normal and woud pass it helped but it was still the hardest thing I ever did
Thank you for your honesty, your video was really refreshing and grounding meaning that take your time if you do wanna have a kid, to be ready to have this kid, cause it really requires work and it's not just good happy smiles and hugs. Wishing your family the best, I love watching you on instagram, really inspiring to see you go through this journey.
Ahh i hoped for more Milo content ☺️..he’s the cutest baby❤️
Thank you for sharing! The anxiety about breathing is so real, I'm glad you didn't experience it. We followed the ABCs of safe sleep and still I couldn't sleep without using a breathing monitor because I felt like I had to check on her every few minutes. She's almost two and I still get nervous
Best way to enter, enjoy and sustain parenting from day one is to hold no expectations. This video is a great example of why community is so important-reality doesn’t hit so hard when you raise children with other generations who can clue you in and ground you back down to earth.
I subscribed 💙💙💙
Haha watching this at 39+6 and am so curious how life is gonna be once he's out 😁😁 thank you for sharing 😊😊😊
4 years later just had my gallbladder surgery yesterday
This Video is SO insightful Lucie! I feel like it’s so easy to fantasize what it would be like bringing a tiny human into your life. That it makes it hard to see what the actual reality of that would be! Thank you so much!
Hey!! I think it’d be so cool to see what kinds of things you’d want to teach your son…. Like, by age 2, what are the basic values would you like to instill in him? (With your unique spin?) and how would you go about doing that?
Currently almost 18 weeks pregnant and I really love seeing videos like these and hearing other people their experiences as first time parents and I would love a video about breastfeeding 🥰
Me too!! I’m due sept25 :)
@@cassandraz3035 me too!
I’m right behind you, with an 11 week old baby girl. I love my babe so much. I expected I could get barely any of my art done at all (accurate), and I expected that she would only be waking up a few times by two months old, and that I could have a more normal schedule… nope, babe still has her longest, three hour sleep stint starting at midnight, then wakes up about six times until noon.
I discussed with my husband him going to sleep later and giving her a bottle once a night. In reality, he takes the night shift, or I would not get enough sleep. I spend 13 hours or so in bed everyday even still, since I have to get up to pump, and tend to babe starting at 7 am. I hope our schedule can be more normal within a few months. My husband wakes up at about 4pm everyday.
Yes, I have 2 kids and definitely hear you on so many of these !
The thing about kids choking in the night can be a real thing though, especially if they can not move or have their arms swaddled. You are right, they do know that they want to stay alive, & along as you keep an ear out they should be fine.
Also, thanks for sharing about being a river of hormones post partum. I was too but did not have much support at the time. More people sharing can help other mothers so much!
Gosh I remember the phantom cries in the shower! It’s like your brain knows you’re having five minutes to yourself lol
Milo is so cute 🥰
HOW YOU DOING LUCIE WITHOUT YOUR GALLBLADDER
I feel like the only new mom that has not experienced the pure exhaustion postpartum
That must be a relief for you. :)
Mom of a 4 year old and a 4 month old. With that age gap, I forgot a lot about the newborn stage. But the 2nd time around is a lot easier! I love you sharing your perspective and helping women with this very unique stage of life.
I wonder how well those cleaning products work though 🤔
💖
Very accurate, my babe is three weeks younger than Milo. My house is strewn with baby things everywhere
I don’t want kids but I watched to the end!
Phantom cry!!!! Happens to me all the time!!!
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I'll be happy to send it xx
how can one make parenthood so complicated :D I think you should always emphasize that this is your very own experience and that these are your very own emotions. There are some moms who face difficulties bonding with their little baby... the way you talk about your journey might be very triggering for them. Really just want to give constructive criticism, wish you and your sweet family all the best :)
Nanny
Very few ppl live in that reality
Had to giggle at "my brain has been entirely rewired" because i dont have a baby but if my dog whimpers while im sleeping i will wake up immediately i think for women especially any high pitched sound like that even quiet will wake us up
In our lebanese culture your mother would come and stay with you, for 40 days, or you would stay over.. she will help you through the night, teach you everything about babies, cook meals and look after you so you can recover.. It is definitely challenging to be doing things with your husband who has no maternal instincts nor experience.. and therefore, this is why we have much more children than western people..
i think moms should be brutallyhonest about all things also.. i kinda thought my son was not very cute from 2-3 months old😛
oh yeah. and 4th degree tear here
Had you 'Birth Canal Widened' to 10cm diameter prior to birth with 'Perineal Massage' using the 4 fingers of both hands or Aniball to decrease your risk of tearing? thankyou for your reply.
Why didn't you ask friends and family about the reality! Lots of people have had babies.
Lots of people tend to forget. And it never really sinks in anyway for most people until they're actually going through it.
I would love to see a breastfeeding pumping video!
obsessed with you standing in your messy kitchen
Lolololol😭 reality
PLEASEEE make a breastfeeding/ pumping video 🙏🏼
You have a nanny?
Hey Lucie! Did you research good OBs when you were preparing to get pregnant? Or did you stay with your regular gynecologist? Could you expand on that, please 😉