My heart is breaking
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- Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
- My long awaited visitor has now gone. Let's have a quick Sunday afternoon chat down in the nature reserve.
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Many people are in your situation Marc. My 33 year old daughter discarded me 4 years ago. She is the mother of my only grandchildren. She lives across town from me but might as well be around the world. Despite being married and having children, she is still very immature as well. This estrangement thing seems to be infecting the young adults of the world.
There are wonderful support groups on Facebook if you are interested ❤
Looks like you have your own bit of paradise there which must be comforting.
You are not alone ❤
You’re correct , there are many of us out here in the same situation sir! I miss my girls and grandchildren as well. Hang in there, there’s a better plan for you now! ❤😊
Worth all the hard work physically and mentally Marc. To love and be loved is a precious gift ❤
I have not seen nor heard from my two boys in over 24 years of divorce.
I live in hope ❤
One can all ways live in hope Lairdstewarthalliday6388. It is tough. Who knows one day you will get a surprise.
How awful.
I am a gran , and not seen my grandchildren, interestingly they are never far from my mind. It’s hard to speak on another’s grief , wish you all the best
I can relate to this. It’s sad really.
@@micheledowson5009 , it truly is...
So happy you have reconnect with your son. I really hope you both stay in touch moving forward. It's never to late my dear boy. Sending love 😊
So glad you had that time together, of course you feel sad now he’s gone but he must have really benefited from your guidance and love and you being his ‘Dad’. He knows you’re there , the door is open and the light shines.
Never say never about you going to visit your son in New Zealand. Glad you had a great time with him and made some precious memories! :)
Concentrate on YOU now Mark. I’m so pleased that your son’s visit went well so all that anxiety was worth it even though you don’t think it did. Keep up with your jobs now Mark. 🤩
Mark I am glad you had a wonderful time with your son 💕😊
So pleased you had time with your son. I know exactly how you are feeling. My only son lives in the USA. Breaks my heart when he returns to the States as and when he can visit.
I used to visit him and my grandchildren but my husband is too old and unwell to make the journey and I can’t leave him on his own.
We do FaceTime and speak on the phone so at least we are in touch.
Throw yourself into the gardening and your heartache will ease in a day or two.
Just remember the joy you have had with your son.💕
Marc, my youngest daughter lives in another state and comes to visit twice a month. My heart hurts every time she goes back home, even tho I know I'll see her again. The love we have for our kids is astounding. I miss her being around.
Ive lived in France 16 years I do see my kids a few times a year but I speak to them on Whats App all the time.Not the same I know but like that Im always there for them.Brave video Marc,Take care
It certainly sounds like a challenging situation. Best to you Mark. Prayers and hugs sent your way. Wish there were more we all could do to help.
So glad you enjoy the time with your son, I understand the empty feeling you experience! ❤❤
Hi Marc, I know it is hard, but at least you got to see your son,if only for a few days. Thinking of you both.
Sorry to see you so down. Try and be positive and look at it that he seeked you out and came to you all the way from Nz. Emotions must have been high for both of you. He is coming back, and that's positive. I bet he loved your little sanctuary. Chin up Marc, you worked so hard to make him comfortable. Now, it's time for a furry companion. Sending you a motherly hug 😊 x
Hey, I've got a 52 yo son like this. Our dreams for our children don't often manifest. Just live 'em.
I visit my parents every week and they are in their 90s
I am so happy that you had a few good days with your son! I am glad that we have FaceTime and zoom to be able to see and talk to our kids. My daughter just got married and moved and graduate from college.. she got a cat❤ I had to completely change her old room around (my middle daughter moved into the bigger bedroom) so that I would quit crying every time I walked by
I have a son in the Army and i haven't a clue where he is, I just get bit's of info that his ok. That's life. Yep it is sad when they walk out of the door and you don't know when your going to see them next. I just get on with my life, And get on with the many jobs i have started 🙂. Got to finish painting fence and get my raised beds emptied so i can get the chicken wire in, Stop the mice etc. digging my veg up. Pain in the Bum. You keep busy and stay bright 🙂.
Marc, I am glad you saw your son. I am sure you gave him some great advice and support.❤
Chin up Marc you made it with the visit from your son and more memories for you and him. Hopefully you will both make an effort not to leave it so long till the next time you see each other, then you will not get so stressed about it,. I know it was a difficult situation for you both and a lot of us have not had to deal with such circumstances. So well done you ,you both pulled through it ok . At the end of the day Marc you will always be his dad , and you will always be there for him what ever😘
So glad that you had a nice time with your son. You are a good person and now he knows what you are all about and where you are. We connect via FaceTime on birthdays and special occasions with the far flung family. Take care. Hugs.
I am so happy that it all went well with the visit with your son Mark. You will feel strange after the visit. My two oldest children have not spoken to my husband and myself for 12 years now and the pain is always there, all I can do is pray and hope that one day we will come together again. The way I look at things is if some one dies you get to say your good byes and you have to learn to go forward, when your children are still alive and have nothing to do with you it is hard to go on, but go on you do. Hard to explain. I know they are two different scenarios. We'll see what happens as I said one can live in hope. Just focus on yourself and you and your son could do live chat over the internet to keep in touch. Perhaps once a month or so. Have a lovely day.
Despite the particularities of everyone's situation, parents never stop parenting.
My 34-year old son just welcomed his firstborn into the world. The baby was born at 34 weeks. I don’t know what to do either. Never been down this road before. There's a fine line between being a supportive parent and being intrusive. I can only do my best.
You are obviously a loving and careing father. ❤ Build on that. At least technology has given us the ability to "see" each other long-distance, which I think is a great benefit. I have a friend who meets regularly with family online for movie nights. Works for them! Lots of options to explore! 😊
I am so glad you had that time together, Dad, specially now your little boy is an adult. You can't change what has happened in the past, but you have a future. 6degrees yesterday, top of 13degrees at 3pm. NZ
Hopefully it won’t be as long before you see each other next time. It must be a very difficult situation. All I can really say is you’ve got a lot of people who care about you and are here for you as much as we can be
We are with you ALL the way, Mark
So glad you got to spend time with your son. Sending hugs your way. Take care lovely x
HI, Ive just subscribed. Ive got 6 sons and a daughter, 2 of the sons has ADHD and depression, which is a bit strange to me. I have anxiety since my Mum sadly passed away 5 years ago. Its always lovely to see or hear of a man who cares about his kids. Its obvious you care about your son. X
Hopefully you both will want to see each other more. I hope you both make that effort as it’s obvious you need each other in your lives. A little thinking time I am sure will bring new perspective on things and making plans even if it’s 2years on gives you both a goal to look forward to better then12 years. Life is hard at times but we have to get on with it. Keeping in touch with him more often is a good start and I am sure you will both get closer in time.
My daughter lived in Alaska for 8 years thank god for the internet we chatted every day I went to visit a couple of times saying goodbye so glad you had a good time with your boy .
You've still got us - you're kinda stuck with us. Get a pony - Dave was a really good motivator lol
I feel your pain, I don’t know why things turn out the way they do. I live alone and feel the way you do in my heart. We do the best we can and I make list too❤️
Thanks for sharing Marc....i always use Zoom or Signal with my family who live afar. Best to you.
He came and sought you out, so that's a good thing. Look forward now to meeting him across in the UK in a couple of years if he can't make it over to France. All my best wishes 😊
Glad you had that time with your son. A weekly phone call to him would do you both good.
So pleased you built that bridge with your son, now just keep it open. Social media allows us to send out msg's to those we care about. Doesn't matter if we always get a response back or not, they know we care and that's why we continue to msg. He knows you love him and you are there for him. Don't be so hard on yourself re motivation, you had an emotional few days so give yourself time to recover. I love to see you cut the grass, that's my happy place and I put the world to rights in my own little garden.
You were there when he needed to come by. He knows that you are there and he knows that he can visit. Best wishes.
Glad you enjoyed your short time with your son Marc…..as well as making your list of things to do,make time for allowing yourself to enjoy your new memories and look forward to your next meeting…..maybe putting away 5 or 10€s a week to do something extra special next time now that you have a time frame? Two years seems like forever…..you’ll wonder where they’ve gone, when you get together! X
Hi Marc. I’m feeling for you friend. I’m in the same position so can relate. You’ll get your momentum back. It’s a bit of a dip for you right now but it’ll pass. I know about lists. I use to be great at them. No good now as I’m older. Tomorrow’s another day. I’m glad you saw your son. The internet is great for keeping in touch. You’ve got us anyway. We’re here. ❤❤❤❤❤
I came across your video. I am lucky to have my sons ten minutes away and see them every week. If you can get a couple if rescue dogs they are wonderful souls and great company. It is amazing how much you come to love them.
Glad it went okay for you, it's bound to be sad saying goodbye again, you are his Dad and always will be mate.
Yes spend some time in the garden to recharge your batteries. 😊😊😊😊
Take care Mark
Kids wake up at different ages, all you can do is be available to chat if they want advice.
❤ to you. I know the pain of living far distant from a son. I'm sorry for you, not pity but extreme empathy for you and anyone in that situation. I can't be a real mom to my adult son or a true grandmother to his 2 children and it hurts. They're well and happy so I try to keep my focus on that aspect of the situation.
Same here.
If you love someone there's always potential heartache just around the corner..we're all here for you x
its a difficult thing seeing your children after a long time and they are grown. they have their set personality, Keep in touch with him and even if its just you doing the work he will love you for it.
I don't have ADHD and I have a hard time with procrastination lol or deciding what job will be the best one planned out. Hang I.n there kid you seem like a very thoughtful dad.
Look at all you have achieved over the last few years and the potential for the future . You have a really nice place there and you have made contact with your son who I have no doubt will be reflecting on how much he enjoyed visiting you , appreciating your advice and looking forward to getting back to see you again. He was no doubt impressed at how much the thousands of viewers enjoy your videos and appreciate the effort you put in making them . I'm not surprised you felt a little down after your son's visit , I would feel the same , anyone with a son or daughter in the same situation can relate to your feelings.
Hopefully he'll keep in regular touch and get to check you out on RUclips to enjoy your exploits as much as we your viewers do .
I understand what you’re feeling , I thought it had been 11 years since I saw my son, he reminded me the last time I spoke to him over Skype..it was 13 !
Just found your channel. Love your garden and nature fields. We all have to find our mo Jo sometimes. I think good on you. Don't be to hard on yourself.
Just subscribed, nice for you to open up and there is always time for sons and daughters you did well to share this, you are bound to feel strange when they leave I do every time my daughter goes back to Bristol. I will go back and watch you from the beginning. Looks interesting and yes I know the feeling of motivation I been renovating for 5 years in Norfolk UK. But I holiday in France a lot with my daughter we love it. Process your emotions and feelings and treat yourself kindly. No need to rush you are in France !!!
I am glad you had a nice visit, and now the doors of communication are opened.
It's good he has been to see you and 2 years will just fly by....
So happy you and your son had quality time together , sending you love and hugs , ❤❤❤
May the Lord give you peace and comfort and very good health!! My son got killed in a car accident some years back, now my only daughter doesn't talk to us. We have three grandchildren but, we don't see them anymore. May the Lord bless you and keep you and give you peace.
From india,at 68 I am living alone,have a 31 years old daughter,a husband who lives in other house,because he wants to.We are all living like this,don't worry we are all into it,hold yourself high,God is with us
So glad you had that special time and of course your heart is hurting, it’s called love. Try and make regular FaceTime contact now you have physically held him and hopefully, who knows, he could be out there mowing grass with you lol🤗
Glad you got to see your son and visit with him. It is very hard to say goodbye. My son lives far away too, but we text and do skype visits to catch up. Hope you can find a way to stay in touch with your son. Lists do help to get work done. I am much more productive if I put big and little things on the list. At the end of the week, it is nice to see what has been crossed off. Thanks for the video and have a good week.
Happy For you so much ...Tear's flowed watching you ... missing my son but happy for you to get that chance ...If it was me I would be drifting for a few day's digesting the few day's spent with him remembering all the chat's word for word ... Take care Thankyou
This is the first time I have visited this channel. Your sadness is palpable. I can totally relate. God-willing, your heart will heal and you and your son will stay in touch even if you are far away.
Hi Mark. Please don't be sad. Be positive. You have opened up communications. You will always be dad. Try and set up a weekly Skype or WhatsApp chat to see and talk to each. I have to do that to communicate with family and it feels they are close to me. It has been a positive time. Onwards and upwards. X
I know that feeling. It’s not great. Hope you know your not alone there are many of us out there in the world. Stay strong 🙏👍🙋♀️
Oh wow, so glad that you had a couple of meaningful days with your son, fingers crossed you will both be able to keep up more consistent communication in the future. Have you tried Facetime?
You have spent so many months building up to this event, motivation for the future is not easy, but I have confidence in you.
At the last of the day, about 2, I make a pile of the tools or items I will use for tomorrows chores somewhere inconvenient for me to get around. Thus, the laundry may be in the middle of the kitchen (in a basket of course!) It triggers my lets just get it done mode in the am, and seem after my morning coffee, I start it. Perhaps this will help you to have things ready and the 12 hours in between to get mentally ready to tackle it.
thats great your sons been to stay ,perhaps if you invite him in the next what ever months he will think about it and accept your dads offer of a stay with you ,if you ask him ,well done on seeing him ,xxgreat video good you can chat to us on here n listen to suggestions for the future x
Marc thank you so much for sharing news about your son's visit. 2 days soon flies in and all the preparation you had in anticipation of his visit was well worth every minute. You are on a bit of a downer at present and who could blame you it's human nature to feel sadness but you will eventually get it together again and look back on these 2 days for many months to come. First priority is to earn some money and with the weather favourable for gardening I hope you can find some work to take your mind off heartbreak. You look after yourself Marc your emotions have been rocked to the core with highs and lows. Florence
You are not alone, we are with you every evening...❤
I am glad you and your son had some time together. It's never enough time with someone you love, I know. Big hugs to you, my friend. 🫂
It's lovely that you and your son managed to spend a few days together, it is difficult when family live miles apart . With technology these days we speak /video call our children and the rest of our family through WhatsApp. There are other apps I.e Facebook and Zoom, if this helps.😊
That's is good
For you and him
So you have been were I live gold coast Queensland Australia
Thinking about you marc, be kind to yourself. Im so glad you had the time with your son, i know how heartbroken you must feel, i too have a son and a situation 😢. It takes time to process things in your mind, Big hugs marc lots of love.x
Never say never ,your son has said he will be over from N Z he will no doubt have thoughts of his visit to you and he must be impressed with how you live now ,you are stability for him all is not lost he will come back to love you in a manly way ,time will tell.
Love your place in France well done you should be very proud of you efforts to make a comfy home ,be proud .all the best from España
You stay strong Marc and your son will be back. Just keep in touch via FaceTime or Skype. I’ve raised 6 children, 2 step children (girl-boy) 2 biological sons and 2 grandchildren (girl/boy).The 2 step children I raised from ages 6 and 7 and their mom didn’t come back until they were 14 and 15. The step daughter died tragically in a car accident at age 28 and the step son we haven’t seen in 6 years because he is a drug addict. Has been for the last 15 years. My 2 biological sons, the oldest passed at the age 25 due to a heart defect that had never been diagnosed. The most heartbroken I have ever been! My youngest son is 35 and only calls a few times a year even though he only lives 40 miles away. He doesn’t share the same political or religious leaning that we 😊😊😊do. Finally my 2 grandchildren are from my son that passed. The mom gave birth to his daughter 4 months after his death. She was pregnant when my son met her but the father was absent so my son stood by her side until she had her son. Ten months later his daughter was born. When she was 3 weeks old the police called saying that they had the children and the mom was being arrested for child neglect. They wanted to know would I take custody so I did. I was 51 years old with my youngest son about to graduate high school. The mom never tried getting custody back, she wanted to party and do drugs. Now they are 15 and 16. The mom has gotten clean from drugs and wanted to be a part of their lives again so we are taking it slow. The grandson, keep in mind he isn’t actually our biological grandson, doesn’t want nothing to do with her. My son’s daughter is hesitant. I made sure she had been drug free for over a year before I would consider her even seeing them again. Hell I’ve been their mama all their lives with not even so much as a phone call from her. It’s very sad to me but I’m about to be 67 years old and my husband just turned 70. Our health is not good so they are going to need more family to be in their lives besides us when we pass. The mom has 1 sister that has been in touch with the children all their lives but recently they have met their other grandma and 2 siblings. Another sibling born after my granddaughter was put up for adoption is out there somewhere. So see Marc your life is way less complicated than mine. I have a friend that was never able to have children. She said to me recently that whenever she got depressed about not having kids she would call me lol. Ive been a mom sending children to school for the last 41 years. Jeez that’s crazy! I’ve lived a crazy life but I’ve loved my children, every single one of them. God bless you and your son and I pray you will be able to see each other more frequently.
Thank you, I really appreciate you sharing your story :-)
Bless you for all you have been through.
You’ll get back in the swing….I’m sure it’s been a curious week for you. Be easy on yourself and enjoy your happy place gardening and progress, not perfection on that ambitious to do list ! ❤
You have to take care of yourself first !!! Good luck !! ❤💯💯💯❤
It’s nice you opened the lines of communication. Computers do help that also.
So glad you had some quality time with your son. The downer you are on will pass, and you will get your mojo back. Time will fly by, in two years you will meet again. Take care and go with the flow.
It's hard to let go isn't it, we can't wrap them up in cotton wool as much as we want to , we have to let them live their own lives that's what we do as parents❤ and if we had good parents that's what they allowed us to do, stand on our own two feet.
Focus in preparing for winter then it won't be a surprise when it comes, but where is summer I hear you say. What a topsy-turvy world we live in. 😊
I spent 3 years over covid not seeing family. Twice a year now I drive from France to the UK.
Sorry to see you lost I don't have any kids so I just don't know how you are feeling but you just have to do your best let's hope your son comes back to you again soon I can't say thanks for a lovely video be cost it was not good to see you so down and out take care
That is a hard empty feeling when you have looked forward to meeting and then its over. Having to say goodbye adds to that ache I know but keep in touch more with your son now you have become closer.
You are always the dad that doesn’t change I just saw your video the best advice I’ve ever gotten was don’t assume you will always have time later if you don’t want to have regret do what it takes to get your relationship back with your son
Good man, Marc, delighted for you. 🙂
I wish I could give you a big hug!!
Maybe you need a small holiday! Get a different perspective for a little while. But very glad you did you meet up with your son. One can talk and see one another with camera now and again, thanks to internet. I do with my family and friends in the west of Europe, while I live in the Balkans. Stay safe Mark, enjoy your nature reserve.
My stepson is same age and hes not all that mature as he could be either I think because hes made video games such a major priority in his life but hes getting there, just at a slower pace
Glad you had a good time together.
I’m glad that you got a visit in.
Big hugs x
Hello, watching from kenya Africa. Sorry for the anxiety situation
Very pleased to have you along :-)
Sending hugs ❤
I don’t know anything about you and your son’s relationship but I’m 66 yo and when I think about my relationship with my mother and the things that were unresolved I revert to that child who didn’t know the reasons but knew my mum blamed me anyway.
I never had children (I'm single and 69 now) , but I do have a niece (my sister's daughter) who visits me every three months, even though she lives in another state. I cherish every moment we spend together and am so thankful she wants me in her life. Are you able to Zoom with your son? That might be a fun way to keep in touch.
Feel for you, all our love❤
the time you shared with your son was so important for both of you. Maybe it will be the start of renewed regular contact. Letters, old fashioned, maybe, but a good way to share your thoughts and experience. Something he can hold. from your hands to his. Our children are always your children, no matter how old they ... or you... are. Take care.
I randomly came across your video. You don't need to see each other in person to be a Dad today. There's plenty of ways to connect everyday with your adult children. FaceTime, Facebook etc etc etc. A lack of communication falls on parents shoulders. We are the parent's after all. Just because our children are adults doesn't mean our job is done. Family is everything in this World and unfortunately some are too self involved to realize it before the damage is done. 12 years not seeing your boy or having a relationship? Yeah step up Dad. The most important thing you will EVER do is being a good father. Everything else is irrelevant.
Go well man. I can relate. Aussie Bob 😊
Now a days with face time and Marco Polo and Zoom there is no reason or excuse not to stay in touch.
I know it wasn't for as long as you would have liked with your son but I hope it was a time you will cherish until the next time you see each other x