Telling a child about his/her autism spectrum diagnosis

Specific suggestions about how to tell a child about their diagnosis. Barbara Lester, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, describes the method she uses to tell children that they have autism or Asperger's Syndrome. This method is suitable for high functioning children in elementary school, junior high or high school. She uses the visual support of a jigsaw puzzle template, on which she has written on some of the strengths of those on the autism spectrum and some of the areas of difficulty. She then goes through each one, having the parent and child both comment about whether this is true for that child, and marking the items that are true on the jigsaw puzzle with a highlighter. She does this to help the child see that the way he/she has autism/Asperger's is probably different from someone else they know that has autism/Asperger's but they still might have the same name being used to describe how their "hardwiring" (or brain) works. She uses this approach because it helps the autism spectrum individual, who will tend to be more detail than big picture oriented, see how the term autism or Asperger's Syndrome applies to them. This is an area which is even difficult for adults and professionals to fully understand, given the diagnostic variability across the autism spectrum.
Here are the items she has written in on her jigsaw template - feel free to modify this list to make it work for you: Poor eye contact, intense interests, difficulty with creative writing or essays, lack of motivation if not the special interest, honest, slow at learning to talk, not imaginative, difficulty with the back and forth of conversation, does not use gestures, lack of interests, disorganized, unusual speech, may appear rude to others, repetitive movements, did not imitate when young, uncoordinated/clumsy, lack of facial expressions, excellent long term memory, difficulty with more than one task at once, not caring about fads or trends, talks too much about special interests, paces or swings a lot, repeats phrases from movies, likes things to stay the same, difficulty making friends, very good with facts and figures, poor social skills, not caring about appearance, does not talk enough about others' interests, sensory differences, mixes up pronouns, lots of routines or rituals, difficulty keeping friends, difficulty getting the main point, hard to understand others' feelings, reliable, a "loner", enjoys things more than people, used to echo what people said, poor empathy.
She also describes another method of explaining the diagnosis in a blog post: goo.gl/vyQTJ.
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[@chriskdayton]

Thank You so Much! This was very helpful. My daughter is hesitant to tell her daughter of 11 that she has ASD because she thinks she will use it as an excuse for her meltdowns. This is a great way to explain it to her. Thank You again for all your help. Your videos have given us hope and a clear understanding as how to help her.

[@stephanieclarke4710]

Just came across your channel and I like your videos

[@vibegrevsen6151]

Hi Barbara thanks for sharing. I like your idea about using a jigsaw puzzle when you explain about autism. When I look through your list of qualities it strikes me though that the huge majority are described in the negative, whereas we autistics ourselves often describe our qualities in a much more positive way.
Many of those autism traits really are differences rather than difficulties. What you describe as lack of eye contact might just as well be portrayed as an ability to focus and keep a conversation without the need to look at the conversation partner. I know it may be difficult for conversation partners to focus if I do not look at them and I am happy to compensate for their need just as they compensate for my needs in other areas, but I do not require eye contact to have a meaningful conversation myself.
I co-founded a Danish group called something along the lines of "Good advice from all of us with autism to those who lack autism", and interestingly it appears that autistics are more active and more curious about themselves and about finding solutions to their needs in this group than they are in many other Danish autism groups.

[@barbaralesterlcsw]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this Vibe. I agree about your comment about differences rather than difficulties and I use that concept frequently myself. I'm sure I can keep improving about my descriptions of the differences so it does not come across as focusing on the problem side. It's wonderful to hear about your Danish group -- best wishes with that in the future. If you have a contact for the group let me know - maybe I could visit some time if I am in Denmark!

[@frangloidplantagenet6333]

ASDspecialist: Barbara R Lester, LCSW thank you so much Barbara that means alot to me I have an autistique brother

[@limesquared]

I am autistic in my late fourties. I am "hfa" and was originally diagnosed with
severe infantile autism in the early seventies. I was not even told I was autistic until 21 which was really dumb because I never understood why people were
always upset with me. I was just me. I had a shrink and light ABA which was
totally the wrong "treatment". I read up on therapies available now and I
think occupational therapy would have been much better. I didn't need help
with my behavior; I needed help with sensory confusion and being unconfortable in my body. I wish the therapy had been available back then.

[@barbaralesterlcsw]

Thanks Chris. I really appreciate the feedback and support. Best wishes to you, your daughter and your granddaughter.

[@leannestrong1000]

I'm on the High-Functioning end of the Autism Spectrum (Asperger Syndrome). My mom and I read a book about the Autism Spectrum when I was 12. That's also when she told me that I have Autism. I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at age 2 1/2, and then rediagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when I was 15, almost 16. I was also diagnosed with co-morbid ADHD when I was 17 (co-morbid means in addition to).

[@stephanieclarke4710]

What about children who does nt like to write and does not likr to eat food mostly snacks..when they csrr food theh want to burp

[@TheWackoGreenAlien]

Where can you get the colouring things?

[@mariannegrabowski3289]

You mentioned that there is a printed list of qualities that you used to make the jigsaw puzzle you discussed. Where can I obtain this list? Thank you.