Blue Valentine - What's the Point of a Doomed Romance? | Video Essay
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- In today's video we dive back into the Doomed Romance series to discuss the dwindling relationship of Cindy and Dean from Blue Valentine (2010) by Derek Cianfrance.
Unlike our previous entries, this couple actually does end up together, but with time, their love changes.
Video made by Moises & Sergio Velasquez
Part 1- 500 Days of Summer: • 500 Days of Summer - W...
Part 2 - Her: • Her - What's The Point...
Part 3 - The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: • Eternal Sunshine of th...
Part 4 - Lost in Translation : • Lost in Translation - ...
***Part 3 is blocked in some countries. Watch it here: vimeo.com/492474502 ***
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-------------Editor's notes:
- (7:32) I meant to say "over" 60 scripts.
- I think Dean looks and sounds like the director Derek Cianfrance.
-------------Sources:
1- filmmakermagazine.com/20339-t...
2- Blu-ray Commentary Track
3-When talking about what the director admirers from Cassavetes: filmmakermagazine.com/20339-t...
4- Blu-ray Commentary Track
5- www.interviewmagazine.com/fil...
------------- Music:
By Eduardo Gonzalez
/ edgmusic1
ruclips.net/channel/UCjym...
#Romance #Movies 
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What should the next Doomed Romance be?
Here is a list of Doomed Romance movies we put together: boxd.it/4xrxE
Marriage Story!
Kramer vs Kramer
brokeback mountain
Blue Jay!!
Annie hall!
“a love story is still a love story even when two people don’t end up together” that hit me so hard
Yeah but its a bad love story as opposed to a good love story. A love story is still a love story even when its bad.
"A dream is still a dream even when it's a nightmare."
Meh there wasn't any love in the first place. It's a boy meets girl story
The only way to live life fully is to embrace life fully. Which means, do not force an outcome. Let life show you it’s hand, accept it, and do your best with it.
There’s nothing like being in love and knowing it’s going to end. Whole heartedly Adventurous and heartbreaking at the same time
ive been there, definitely produces a special type of love
Except nobody expects it to end.
I’m still thinking about them. It’s been two years and I’m still thinking about it.
They fell out of love with me but… at least once a day. And we both knew it wouldn’t last from the beginning, and it felt like the world wanted to be a dick to us every step of the way and make sure to make it harder than it had to be but… fuck man… I was still so in love. I still am in love… and they fell out of love within less than a year.
We didn’t get to hit our one year anniversary, and every Fourth of July has a god damn sting to it…
And I am aware I miss the memory of them, and that they ended up with someone only a few months after things ended, maybe sooner- while it took me almost a year and a half to even consider dating again…
And I was a fuckin idiot too, I didn’t tell them about a deep trauma of mine that mattered because I had the stupid mindset of “it doesn’t matter what happened to me, they don’t need to deal with that. I have to be the one to protect them” and it went further with them giving me advice. I’d never take it because I stupidly thought “oh they shouldn’t worry about me” instead of doing it because they actually cared about me… I even lied after we ended things and said "yeah I'm sleeping good" even though I wasn't able to have a good nights sleep until… like now… god. I wanted to die without regrets and I've already built up so many. and out of all of them, out of all my regrets… I regret not fighting harder to stay. to be a better partner. I gave up so god damn easily. I regret not doing therapy, and of thinking it's "everyone before myself" instead of "I still affect people I care about even if I don't wanna."
… fuck… and every time I start going on a good path, slowly becoming the kinda guy they needed, some fucking horrible thing would happen and now I'm back at square 1 with less than I had and more trauma…
fuck, I'm sorry for typing this shit out, hope you take care man… and I hope they don't see this and realize I'm still thinking about them even though they moved on and fell in love again years ago..
Cindy inadvertently recreated her parents bad relationship and Dean created the loss of his mother’s abandonment.
Oh man
Damn!! I just realised this 😮
Big facts,been in this dynamic,mine triggered a fathers.
Dean didn't do anything, Cindy ruined it. Dean's only mistake was not ditching her himself
the emotions in Blue Valentine was so raw and real its really hard to watch it again
Yeah it is hard to rewatch
I've been looking forward to doing so for years now., but still couldn't gather the strenght to do it.
This movie and Blue Is The Warmest Color are really hard to watch. They just bring back so many unwanted memories that make me have to yell it out just to reset, if that makes any sense. What the fuck is it with all these movies with the word blue in the title.
@@kroganbaby6163 blue light is the hottest in a fire
@@noomnom_ its actually white but nice try 🤣
"To have it for a day is better than never finding it at all."
Oh my heart.
Better to have loved & lost than to never be loved at all
Did you find yours ? Just asking.
@@cptv9670 you sure about that ?
@@florentdevier I would also argue so. After the person I loved the most left me I was devastated for months and years and wished to never have a relationship ever again but it was the better option to break up because even if it’s sad, a sad ending is better then staying together being sad without an end. I got to a point the memory’s of a beautiful time give me comfort. At the end mostly memories is all we have and then I rather have memories of love then of pure regret.
if you lose it, you will be plagued with knowing what you are desperately missing. it hurts so damn much.
a relationship becomes tiring when the people involved stop trying to be their best
Very true
@Abdul Rashid agree with you, she was in love with the potential what he can become, not what he is but that whats most women fell for, man will always have a burden of performance and you cant run away
@Abdul Rashid The daughter wasn't his so he had no motivation to try to be his best self.
The movie is very much about the relationship, as I see it. Not the individuals. The relationship can be thought of as something separate, some third thing. You’re right, being your best as an individual is an important part of keeping the thing healthy, but a relationship that works is one that makes it easier and more rewarding to become a better person for the relationship. This is kind of a chemical reaction that only lasts so long. At that point there is still this third thing, but it is heavy, static and caustic.
I think the pain in this film comes from watching this reaction happen so effusively and then having to watch these people pretend like it’s not over. We are forced to span the beautiful energy right next to scenes of this acidic brutality where each person becomes weaker, pettier and worse. This is compounded by our expectations for the stories that we consume of these types of things. I think we are trained to keep squinting and looking for a light at the end of this tunnel, but the magic of this movie is that it forces you into a dark corner until you realize this darkness will not end unless you take what joy and happiness you can from the beginning and leave. You do no favors to anyone by lurking in the dark and dragging out some horrible thing that has no place on this earth. You pack up and pack out. Respectfully, of course.
Wow. Thank you for many comments!
After reading some of it, I hope you guys are still working to be the best version of yourself.
Being content is very important, but there's a different between being grateful and being lazy and unfruitful.
It's just too painful to see someone who can make the world a better place decided to not do it because he/she is satisfied with their current condition
Something I noticed that no one seems to talk about: when Dean has dinner with Cindy's parents, he talks about how his mother just decided to leave one day when he was 10. After that scene, Cindy's mother is absent from the rest of the movie. The movie never mentions Cindy's parents getting divorced... but the writing is on the wall. The dad is the only one in the house and the only one watching over the grandkid. Dean was the inspiration - or perhaps catalyst - for the parents to separate. The mother finally realized that it was possible for her to simply LEAVE her toxic relationship.
Excellent insight, thank you! One more layer added.
Wow!
That or she died.
Yea i noticed that scene too.
i think that is true because after Dean shared that info camera focuses on Cindy's mom and she has an expression of some realization and even inspiration. Great take
Dean was there when Cindy needed and CIndy left dean when he was in need
Finally someone said it
Even when the doctor assaulted cindy
Real
Didn't realize there was so much to this film and it's characters until you talked about camera angles. Blue Valentine was and will always be the most heartbreaking film!
I watched this movie with my girlfriend (unknowingly about a month before we broke up) and I empathized with Dean so much throughout. And was completely looking through his perspective as the protagonist who is on the losing end of a relationship he tried to be in.
When we finished, my ex left me absolutely shocked when she empathized with Cindy, who was stuck in a life she never wanted to be in and just wanted out of.
It’s not that blue valentine ended our relationship, it had nothing to do with anything. But the contrast looking back about wanting to start a family and settle down, and her wanted to travel and never really being tied down is almost divine intervention levels of ironic hahaha incredible movie
I wonder if, while you were watching the movie with your girlfriend, she had already decided she was going to break up with you.
Cindy is a horrible human being lmfaooooo
@@prettygirlus9008 oh jeez man
@@prettygirlus9008 generally speaking women tend to emotionally detach far earlier than the guy is made aware of it. Yet we stay together until we're certain of our next move.
So yeah id say its highly likely she had already mentally decided by this point.
@@nevadatan7323nah more like women will make sure that their backup plan (male BFFs, coworkers, childhood friends) is ready to take over before making the break. that's why you'll never really see a girl stay single for long after a breakup.
I saw somewhere that during their arguments, the director had Ryan Gosling try to keep Michelle Williams close to him, and he told her to try to get away from him, which represented how they felt about the relationship at the time
Thank for ruining my night, i forgot to question my existence today.
😂 damn that curiosity! 🙃
f*ck same 😂
BlueValentine is kind of like a realistic version of LaLaLand without the song and dance. Haha.
More like LaLaLand is the version where both achieve their dreams sacrificing the chance of being together
So, basically the inside out version of each lala land.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long
I was only able to watch this movie twice. It's such a painful movie, but honest. Love is one of the most difficult things to navigate and you never know where it will take you. Rise or ruin.
I always loved this movie, even though I knew it ended on a sad note. However, the romantic scenes were always the moments that stuck with me in this movie. Like the scene where Cindy and Dean play music and danced with each other, or when Dean told Cindy he wants them to be a family. It made me really wonder why do people have relationships if they will eventually fall apart. This video really hit the mark, relationships and love are a part of life and having had them is better than not having it at all.
This movie came out one year after I went through the breakup of a lifetime. It completely destroyed me, but also helped exorcise so much emotional angst and pain that I couldn't face otherwise. I'll always be grateful to Derek Cianfrance for this devastating piece of art. Wonderful breakdown as well, thank you for shedding new light on an old friend.
I'm glad you liked it 👍
This film is brilliant from beginning to end, there isn’t a single second that doesn’t feel complete human. the used of film vs digital and the way the past and present are framed is genius. this is one of the greatest films ever made.
"By definition don't all relationships end in tragedy?"
- Dr. Manhattan
"Love story is still a love story even if two people don't end up together"
No one does it better than Moises when it comes to dissecting cinema. What an eye for details you have, really a spectacular show of mastery of one's craft. This movie being one of my all time favourite, I just couldn't have asked for more 😍😍😍
Thanks 👍
“To have it for a day is better than never finding it at all.”
Perfect quote to sum up doomed romances
Marriage Story would be great. I would also like you to do a video for Revolutionary Road by Sam Mendes sometime in the future. I really enjoy your videos! Saludos desde Argentina!
Saludos de Canada 👍
Just recently watched Revolutionary Road and do love Marriage Story very much. Would be great indeed.
This was a beautiful movie, I was never one for romance movies, yet this one is so close to my heart. As its realistic and especially with the world we live in, and something I've struggled with. Not understanding someones contentness when you believe there is so much more to do, and that difference can be worlds apart. However, I wonder then how to solve this issues? Is it due to our advancement things are more complicated? I always look at the past where I wonder, what was there thoughts of romance did it exist? Was things just as is? I love this series by the way, cant wait for more.❤
Looks like a good film. It seems the more unhappy a married couple are, the more they push their children and grandchild to get married.
My mother to a tee.
You’ve just described half of my family
I absolutely love this film. Even though it breaks my heart.
There is nothing I love better than a doomed romance
This movie leaves you with such a weird feiling after you watch it.
Talk about a glitch in the matrix. I JUST started rewatching several scenes from this movie yesterday/this morning!
Can’t get enough of this doomed romance series, btw! Definitely one of my favorite genres.
Glad you liked it 👍
Watch “revolutionary road”, that is a doomed romance as well!
8:39 this kind of hit me hard. All of my siblings are in relationships like this as my parents were and I'm just always watching over their shoulder as their relationships fall apart
This is one of my favorite movie analysis series on RUclips. Doomed Romances give an authentic and raw look at the world. Something that people can relate with more than traditional love. Love the series, hope to see more!
Glad you like the series 👍
Its strange to see Michelle Williams nail every character in almost every depressing film she's been in, blue valentine and Manchester by the sea to name the few..
Shutter Island
Take this waltz
Such a corny quote, but it's definitely about the journey, not the destination.
@@ludwigaccursed Personally disagree - if you have an ending in sight, what's the point of the journey? You already know how it's gonna turn out. I love the idea of uncertainty, that you have it within you to change your own fate. But honestly that's totally fair enough, you do you man!
@@ludwigaccursed Just out of curiosity, in the case of romantic relationships what would you say is an example of a planned ending?
@@ludwigaccursed Of course I'm not suggesting that people shouldn't have goals or ambitions, but I would argue most of the fulfilment you get is from the journey you make towards those goals - especially in the case of romances where as you say there is no particular template or clearly defined end point. Nobody enters a relationship to get to the 'destination', they do it for the shared experiences they'll have along the way.
"Love is like a dream. Dreams are good, but do not be surprised if you wake up in tears"
Absolutely heartbreaking. It almost hurts more remembering the pure, happy times when me and my ex were first together , than it does to remember the worst , most painful times. 💔
one thing i realised after watching this movie is that no matter how hard you make effort if your partner doesnt reciprocate it becommes useless .dean was doing evrything under his capacity to save his relationship to add excitement in the relationship,but i guess that was not enough. he was happy with his financial condition but cindy wanted him to do more. cindy doesnt seem interested from the very beginning and neither did she tried later. even when he threw his ring ,he instantly went for searching, but cindy had made her mind and was not willing to make amends. relationships are hard but if both the people starts making little efforts it will revive.
What a finely written analysis of a brilliant film. Derek Cianfrance sure knows how to craft a poignant and emotional story. His recently adapted HBO drama, I Know This Much Is True (2020, miniseries), really puts the audience through the emotional ringer too.
Glad you liked it
there needs to be more doomed romance movies. this is by far my favorite subgenre of romance if it even is one. i'm really enjoying this series
you should try watch us and them (2018)
the final words were really impressive, good job
Glad you liked it 👍
I loved this movie when I watched it. Although sad, it was realistic and therefore endearing.
This movie is fucking terrifying. It’s seriously a love horror movie if there ever is one.
It’s every hopeless romantic’s worst nightmare, myself included
I never cried so hard after a movie ended. I couldn't stop.
La La Land would be great for this series. Also maybe underratedly Comet or Portrait of a Lady on Fire
I love how thoughtful you guys are with these videos ❤
man i'm so happy you're adding more to this series
I’ve waited so long for you to put out another video
That was the perfect note to end the essay. This is one of my all timers.
Excellent analysis. Your words throughout are very moving.
i always come back and watch this video, it's edited, scripted and done so well. thank you for making it. :)
Thank you for posting, I think this analysis will make a better person in the long run.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GAWD I just took a look at your list - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do Call Me By Your Name! this film has not been talked about enough!
What a great essay, so many small details that I didn't notice and things I didn't know about this film, thanks for making it.
Great now a video essay makes me cry my eyes out. LOVE your channel!
Thanks 👍
This was such a great review. Just bit by bit the scenes has been discussed and clearly explained with clean words. Subbed!
Thanks 👍
I love you so much recently. All my favorite movies. For me, these videos are showing me the things I knew were amazing about these films but I couldn't quite put my finger on. Thank you.
Glad you liked them 👍
I love your doomed romance series, and your analysis are very original. I'm a fan of your content, please keep it up!
Thank you 👍 I'm glad you like our videos
Wow man, I really liked the way you go through every little detailing. After listening to your interpretation of the movie, now I loved the movie even more.
Yessss, more doomed romance videos PLEASE. These are great.
Next one will come out around February👍
What a brilliant analysis.
Great as always.
Thanks 👍
Thanks youtube recommendation...I am now a fan of this channel...Great content ❤️
By far, this is my favorite RUclips channel
Thanks 👍
This is probably one of your best videos.
Thank you 👍
As I am going down the videos of this doomed romance series, i am realising this is perhaps my favourite genre lol.
I watched this movie out of nowhere sometime in high school and it wrecked me! Until that time, my film diet consisted mostly of Hollywood cliche romances and I went into this movie expecting something similar. I was so blown away by how raw and real this movie turned out to be. It reminded me so much of my parents fighting while I was always a spectator to the gradual downfall of their relationship. So when you brought up the fact that some scenes were intentionally shot that way, that hit me hard! And I can finally understand what about this film was so emotionally violent to me that I could never get myself to watch it again. The movie really does mimic the distress that I experienced while watching my parents fall apart. Also, never realised 10 years ago all the technicalities that really make the two halves of their relationship stand apart. Brilliant analysis and I'm so glad I discovered this series!
Watch again and again .. and my heart gets down deeper and deeper TT
In this movie, Dean gives her everything. Takes on her problem (pregnancy that he did not inflict). He doesn't hold back emotion and love. But Cindy brings only her job as a nurse to the table, never letting Dean truly love her. Keep in mind when Dean refused to hit her as she wanted rough sex because she hated Dean's display of emotion. Dean then says, "I want you, not your body." She is the bad guy in this story.
Exactly
Exactly. I see Dean as the victim in this story. He was the one making all the effort to save the marriage, while Cindy just remained too fucking broken from her past traumas to move forward. From that scene I honestly got the impression that her ex was probably abusive to her. It would explain a whole lot as to why she wanted Dean to treat her like utter shit
@@aledg25 unfortunately, this is how marriages tend to turn out. But is it better to be lonely? For now I don't mind being alone. But forever? Sometimes rich people know that their spouse is using them for money, but they stay with them because they just don't want to be lonely.
Really well done video!! Well written and insightful ❣️
Watching these videos makes me understand a movie more honestly and deeply and eventually makes me like it more.
Glad you liked it 👍
Absolutely love this series. The insight of how this movie was made makes it that much better. Bout to watch it again just so I can cry 💜
Glad you liked it 👍
I love this series so muchhhhh!! Do more!
More in the future for sure👍
thank you screened i love your channel please please keep it up
Thanks 👍
I love this series!!!
Please make more videos like this
Hopefully soon 👍
Brilliant video. I’d love more of these doomed romance episodes.
Once again, an excellent analysis provided by screened. Please continue doing doomed romance vids!
Thank you very much 👍
I love the way you analise movies. This was a perfect depiction of Blue Valentine and the characters' relationship! I hadn't noticed that the angle of scenes such as inside the car and when they are sitting at the table were thought to be through a child's perception. Even though I love this movie and bought the DVD at the time, I could only watch this movie twice because it hits so hard.
Thank you 👍 this movie really does hit hard
@@Screened Just saw your Doomed Romance movies list! Please do a Revolutionary Road video!!!!!!!
@10:10 this scene is heartbreaking to see both of them going in the opposite direction. But that's just harsh reality of life.
thank you screened.
You're welcome 👍
This was fire! The Doomed Romance series have all been super dope. In the mood for love, call me by your name, and a portrait of a lady on fire would be perfect to add to the series.
Perfect review man killed it
Thank you 👍
thank you, thank you so so much for this video
Glad you liked it 👍
Wow just watching this video made me cry a lot, I cant imagine actually watching the movie 🙃 my parents relationship is really similar and seeing the parts in the present from that perspective of a child hits very close to home. It's such a heartbreaking thing to watch happen as you grow up
No matter how they portrayed Ryan in the film , he was shown as a caring and loving person to his family at least. He took shit just to keep her happy and what he got?
I am living the later half of couple's life. I am stuck in a miserable loveless marriage, I have a kid- so I feel trapped with the guy I am with. I cannot go back to my own family because they threaten to disown me every time I bring up divorce. I have no money. It's so fucked up.
🥺🥺🥺
hey girl how are you doing now? from experience, i think your kid can sense the lack of love and would understand you wanting a divorce. the money part i get though im sorry
did u cheat on him yet
Also this movie has the most beautiful end credits I've ever seen, SHEER CHILLS BRO
Continue with Call Me By Your Name!! Pleaseeeee
When I was younger I had a dream. A Vision. Of happiness in my life. I tried so hard to make it happen and to stay true to what I believed in. I gave up some of my other dreams/plans, I cut the ties to some of my good friends, I moved away from family and friends, I taught myself different things. Looking back now most of what I've done should have been red flags, what I was telling myself as being right was doomed from the start. After 15 years of relationship, then marriage and two kids I had to realize that I had no strength left to keep up the illusion and to fight for my dream to come true. Those little sacrifices I made along the way grew into resentment. My relationship is exactly as portrayed in "Blue Valentine", I feel like being trapped in a horror movie. "I can't stop, you can't stop" - yes, this is how it is and you don't know how to get out. In the movie Dean is walking away in the end - it's heartbreaking, of course, especially as you hear their little daughter crying for him. But, it is a way out for them. This has not happened to me yet...
One line that I will always remember from this movie is when Cindy asks her grandmother how to know whether a love is true and lasting. Her grandma tells her that you don't, you just have to try it out... I did try, hell I did! Reflecting back I am not sure I ever loved or was being loved. I don't think so. And I just feel now that it was this only one shot for me. The life's too short to have a second / third try... "Let be, let be..."
that was so beautiful man, you are a well spoken down to earth person seriously
At least they are arguing. There's caring in arguing. I would take this over being stonewalled, ignored and being named a drama queen when bringing up concerns any day.
I just watched Amour from the great Haneke and I think it fits perfectly this serie while giving a perspective that was never touched before in your selection 🙏
Yes that's a good pick👍
love this series!
Glad you liked it 👍
great analysis! in the mood for love is another great doomed romance worth analysing
Yes definitely 👍
There is no fault I noticed in Ryan Gosling
I simply love this movie, is one of my favorite movies from the last decade. The performances are amazing and the ending is heartbreaking
Love your vids. Would love to see some video essays from you guys on the Before Trilogy.
That would be a good one 👍
aw you posted this on my birthday
No supero lo mucho que me gusta su canal! Me encanta todo su contenido, excelente trabajo!! La primera vez que vi esa película me quedé triste y confundida, no entendía por qué una pelicula sobre una relación fallida. Pero con el paso del tiempo me fui dando cuenta que ese tipo de historias son las que necesitamos para ver toda la imagen completa y no solo quedarnos con el engaño de "happy ever after" que nos venden. Sigue siendo una historia de amor hermosa. Mi favorita de la serie (y de mis películas favoritas) es Eternal Sunshine of a Spottless Mind. Espero pronto saquen la de Marriage Story y muchas otras más. Saludos!
Gracias por tu comentario👍
That's a really nice essay.
wow love your channel
Once (2006)! Cant believe noone said it! Also, thank you for continuing this series! I really love all of your analysis about this topic.
Glad you like them!