@@clublulu399 Well, then he's in a position to piss all over anybody he wants to. 1900: "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" Aleister Crowley 1965-73 "Do your own thing" The Hippies 2000-present "I do what I want, bitch!" Every psycho crackhead gang banger on planet earth.
She has her own place. Can’t have men marrying the honeymoon period and then start seeing the real person. The secret to a successful marriage is two good forgivers.
@@HoneyGuys-w5x I will tell her that I stop reaching for a women who does not reach back. I am willing to fight for her but she has to show willingness to. Its a tricky situation for other reasons to, but this problem of idealisation is something I fell into additionly.
You're not a fool, you also do not need healing. Just the realisation that she is human, not a goddess. Usually men will do this with the first woman they ever fall in love with, until you realize they're not perfect.
@@wilhelmdietz4023I've found that worshipping her for savagely farting and burping, savouring her body odor when she works out or gardens with no deodorant, adoring her messy hair, requesting that she talk fully about her menstrual cycle with full disclosure about her periods openly with full details is how fantasy and reality unite in lasting, fun, real, intimacy and productivity. The problem is we invest in fake short fantasies instead of primal lasting experiences.
Dated a couple of guys that admitted, out-the-gate, they felt a girl like me (attractive, educated, independent, at the time😅) was "out of their league" and they were surprised I'd spoken, let alone, took the time to have a conversation. Unfortunately, they became possessive, controlling and absurdly jealous. One accused me of having intercourse with a friend OF HIS, between the time he called me to come downstairs and the 90 seconds or so it took me to walk out the apartment, down 3 flights of stairs, out the building entrance to his vehicle parked out front. Held me at gun point for about 3 hours after going out and having a wonderful evening. It ended when he suddenly remembered how he felt about my Mom (of all people; and yes, i was an adult and lives alone) and released me. When people date people they feel are "out of their league" they don't realize they just elevated that person. Partnerships are best when the individuals see 👁️ to 👁️. Don't you agree?
But then my question is, how do you "take them away from the pedestal again"? They always say to never put someone on a pedestal but they never say what to do if it happens...
@gooolinus01 If someone puts you on a pedestal, walk away. They are telling you they are insecure. You're not God or a their therapist, you can't fix that. If you happen to be attracted, acknowledge its because there's a part of you that enjoys the worship, a vain part but vanity has consequences and unless you're willing to accept those too, WALK AWAY.
@gooolinusI01 To get them off the pedestal, acknowledge to yourself that you have them on a pedestal and then get to know them better to find out that they're flawed human beings and just as common as everybody else. If you still have them on a pedestal, you don't know them that well because you're still creating an illusion of them in your mind that's not real. Face the reality of who and what they are. They're just like anybody else.
@@gooolinus01see them as u are, it’s the best way to keep the respect for the person but take them off of the pedestal. Kinda what God did when he made Christ. All the power of God but none of the immediate intimidation.
"You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other." Sean Maguire - Good Will Hunting.
Wow, what a moment of enlightenment for me. This man is such a gem. Well, I don’t agree with everything he says, at the very least his ability to think something through and back it up with object data is so commendable in today’s in attentive feelings environment.
Did you promise her/them things in the beginning and she expected you to follow through, or did she start making demands and making excuses for wanting to leave?…There’s a big difference.
Unconscious idealizations are mechanisms that motivate humans to seek out survival and reproduction benefits and opportunities. Self-actualization processes replace the projection of unconscious idealizations with a foundation of deep connection, authenticity, and affinity for primary human feelings and experiences. Self-actualization is essentially the ability to translate unconscious interpretations and feelings into conscious distinctions, causal links, and response-ability (connection and authenticity) without defaulting to unconscious idealizations, cover-ups, and projections.
Jordan is severely trapped in unconscious idealizations of his parents due to their brutal deprivations and contempt directed at primary human feelings and experiences. Jordan is trapped between the idealizations he needed to survive grossly incompetent parenting and overwhelming fear of his actual feelings and experience of that developmentally chaotic, abusive, and unsupportive environment.
Thats almost impossible to avoid - we all have moral ideals we keep concealed for the most part and we apply them across the board. So it's more about never speaking up when something is wrong
As someone who's only been around women all of his life with mother and grandmother, I was put in an unenviable position of seeing and knowing that women aren't the divine unicorns a lot of men make them out to be.
They don't put us on a pedestal, but we're most certainly held accountable for not living up to their ideal of a man. You are supposed to open up and show your emotions, but if they're not the emotions she considers appropriate, you're sunk. They want to know our fantasies, but the same applies. Well, pretty much all aspects of anything you say or do fall under the same rule. No pedestal for you. Only servitude. Give up all of your dreams, wants, needs, money, and opportunities to cater to her or you're not worthy. Oh, and by the way, giving up all of that also means you're weak and not worthy. Good luck!
You know , your way of thinking even if it does have some type of feeling of Truth. .. you're thinking out loud causes a huge domino effect in our society where the communism continues and the not marrying of one another. Men are opportunistic and how if it "benefits" them. They do not love MORE and if it does not benefit you or men he's not going to smile at you you or be a gentleman. Men are mostly worthless too and the upper class are the worst. Men and women are both are sinners and men do not love MORE than women. Also the psychology of a woman are we are more emotional and have more fear we also use both sides of our brains so our thinking is very very efficient , SEE , in the efficiency we actually are we take care of much more than the man on a daily basis so we do take into effect if we're going to have to take care of you and how much are we going to have to take care of you like another child. I just wish that men like you would stop talking bad about the woman and her hypergamy or whatever because if you are a woman and you had a lot of list and you are hardworking you would want to pick somebody that isn't annoying → *either* @@jeremyparris6121
I've been the woman in that story and the man is speaking facts. Called it out and got shear denial and almost smacked trying to get him to adjust his eyesight. Won't be doing that again.
This happened in my first marriage. I was definitely too young and wanted autonomy from my parents who had suppressed me and then it was 17 years with this dude who just wasn’t even worth it. I’m having to see where this wasn’t a complete waste and try to make it into something good I can share.
Big mistake i ve made But she seemed not that Nice after all we could have been friend I ll never know the Real reasons why coz the one she gave is actually sus..
Or, in other words Dr. Peterson, don’t be a SIMP guys! Women don’t respect simps I don’t care what ANY woman says. Most women usually lie or tell half-truths, or say what’s politically correct. I don’t mean it disrespectfully it’s just the reality we live in.
Allow me to share some simple but profound wisdom from my dad.
"Anybody you put on a pedestal is in a position to piss all over you."
True and funny
R Kelly was put on a pedestal
@@clublulu399 Well, then he's in a position to piss all over anybody he wants to.
1900: "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" Aleister Crowley
1965-73 "Do your own thing" The Hippies
2000-present "I do what I want, bitch!" Every psycho crackhead gang banger on planet earth.
That is factual
We ❤️ your dad 💪
When you're in the lower-most league socially, financially, and physically, it's very difficult to refrain from doing this.
I think that everybody across any scale is doing it, you just make different perfection.
She has her own place. Can’t have men marrying the honeymoon period and then start seeing the real person. The secret to a successful marriage is two good forgivers.
Love this man❤
I am doing that right now. Thank you
And what do you think your going to do differently to resolve this, such that she experiences you listening to her?
@@HoneyGuys-w5x I will tell her that I stop reaching for a women who does not reach back. I am willing to fight for her but she has to show willingness to.
Its a tricky situation for other reasons to, but this problem of idealisation is something I fell into additionly.
I know at least 20 men that need to hear this
So insanely true, i am going through this right now. I was a fool and it is one if the worst mistakes of my life
Hope you find some healing for your situation ♡
Share your story so others can learn. Right here.
You're not a fool, you also do not need healing. Just the realisation that she is human, not a goddess. Usually men will do this with the first woman they ever fall in love with, until you realize they're not perfect.
@@wilhelmdietz4023I've found that worshipping her for savagely farting and burping, savouring her body odor when she works out or gardens with no deodorant, adoring her messy hair, requesting that she talk fully about her menstrual cycle with full disclosure about her periods openly with full details is how fantasy and reality unite in lasting, fun, real, intimacy and productivity.
The problem is we invest in fake short fantasies instead of primal lasting experiences.
Same 😔
This is true about everyone
Dated a couple of guys that admitted, out-the-gate, they felt a girl like me (attractive, educated, independent, at the time😅) was "out of their league" and they were surprised I'd spoken, let alone, took the time to have a conversation. Unfortunately, they became possessive, controlling and absurdly jealous. One accused me of having intercourse with a friend OF HIS, between the time he called me to come downstairs and the 90 seconds or so it took me to walk out the apartment, down 3 flights of stairs, out the building entrance to his vehicle parked out front. Held me at gun point for about 3 hours after going out and having a wonderful evening. It ended when he suddenly remembered how he felt about my Mom (of all people; and yes, i was an adult and lives alone) and released me.
When people date people they feel are "out of their league" they don't realize they just elevated that person. Partnerships are best when the individuals see 👁️ to 👁️. Don't you agree?
But then my question is, how do you "take them away from the pedestal again"? They always say to never put someone on a pedestal but they never say what to do if it happens...
@gooolinus01 If someone puts you on a pedestal, walk away. They are telling you they are insecure. You're not God or a their therapist, you can't fix that. If you happen to be attracted, acknowledge its because there's a part of you that enjoys the worship, a vain part but vanity has consequences and unless you're willing to accept those too, WALK AWAY.
@gooolinusI01 To get them off the pedestal, acknowledge to yourself that you have them on a pedestal and then get to know them better to find out that they're flawed human beings and just as common as everybody else. If you still have them on a pedestal, you don't know them that well because you're still creating an illusion of them in your mind that's not real. Face the reality of who and what they are. They're just like anybody else.
@@sal2975 thank you
@@gooolinus01see them as u are, it’s the best way to keep the respect for the person but take them off of the pedestal.
Kinda what God did when he made Christ.
All the power of God but none of the immediate intimidation.
He nailed it! As I date, I step back as a conscience observer, and see exactly his understanding/description of men and I have tried to navigate this.
My lord your basically explaining the first half of my life and why it went wrong.
"You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other." Sean Maguire - Good Will Hunting.
Sure,I'm aware of it.Thank you, never the less,
Wow, what a moment of enlightenment for me. This man is such a gem. Well, I don’t agree with everything he says, at the very least his ability to think something through and back it up with object data is so commendable in today’s in attentive feelings environment.
So true. ❤I love this guy.
This is so so so so TRUE
Excellent
I love JBP❤... He's an international treasure...
It goes both ways. I met a few women who put me on a pedestal and then I couldn't be who they wanted me to be.
Did you promise her/them things in the beginning and she expected you to follow through, or did she start making demands and making excuses for wanting to leave?…There’s a big difference.
Yes 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍
Where can I find the full conversation?
ruclips.net/video/8TC_bj27R58/видео.htmlsi=8-UbH2Mj-oD-yOrr
ruclips.net/video/8TC_bj27R58/видео.htmlsi=C-w2zXOdnMOd3R2l&t=1433
Love him.
Unconscious idealizations are mechanisms that motivate humans to seek out survival and reproduction benefits and opportunities.
Self-actualization processes replace the projection of unconscious idealizations with a foundation of deep connection, authenticity, and affinity for primary human feelings and experiences.
Self-actualization is essentially the ability to translate unconscious interpretations and feelings into conscious distinctions, causal links, and response-ability (connection and authenticity) without defaulting to unconscious idealizations, cover-ups, and projections.
Jordan is severely trapped in unconscious idealizations of his parents due to their brutal deprivations and contempt directed at primary human feelings and experiences.
Jordan is trapped between the idealizations he needed to survive grossly incompetent parenting and overwhelming fear of his actual feelings and experience of that developmentally chaotic, abusive, and unsupportive environment.
Hilarious comments! Thanks
@@DanFan2042 you're welcome Theresa. Have you seen the movie "Joker"?
Thats almost impossible to avoid - we all have moral ideals we keep concealed for the most part and we apply them across the board. So it's more about never speaking up when something is wrong
As someone who's only been around women all of his life with mother and grandmother, I was put in an unenviable position of seeing and knowing that women aren't the divine unicorns a lot of men make them out to be.
Doesnt this also work in reverse?
Beautiful outfit!
No wrong in idealising it’s good to find your love ideals
I would love to ask Dr. Peterson if the opposite is acceptable? Can a woman put a man on a pedestal?
I'm almost certain he'd say no.
Oh yeah, happens all the time
No, and it also happens all the time. It's where those "icks" these days come from.
They don't put us on a pedestal, but we're most certainly held accountable for not living up to their ideal of a man. You are supposed to open up and show your emotions, but if they're not the emotions she considers appropriate, you're sunk. They want to know our fantasies, but the same applies. Well, pretty much all aspects of anything you say or do fall under the same rule.
No pedestal for you. Only servitude. Give up all of your dreams, wants, needs, money, and opportunities to cater to her or you're not worthy. Oh, and by the way, giving up all of that also means you're weak and not worthy. Good luck!
You know , your way of thinking even if it does have some type of feeling of Truth. .. you're thinking out loud causes a huge domino effect in our society where the communism continues and the not marrying of one another. Men are opportunistic and how if it "benefits" them. They do not love MORE and if it does not benefit you or men he's not going to smile at you you or be a gentleman. Men are mostly worthless too and the upper class are the worst. Men and women are both are sinners and men do not love MORE than women. Also the psychology of a woman are we are more emotional and have more fear we also use both sides of our brains so our thinking is very very efficient , SEE , in the efficiency we actually are we take care of much more than the man on a daily basis so we do take into effect if we're going to have to take care of you and how much are we going to have to take care of you like another child. I just wish that men like you would stop talking bad about the woman and her hypergamy or whatever because if you are a woman and you had a lot of list and you are hardworking you would want to pick somebody that isn't annoying → *either* @@jeremyparris6121
True, but don’t a lot of women pit themselves on a pedestal nowadays? Hyoergamy on overload?
Not all of us
All good men are either taken or gay
@@thousandpetalsproject1494Good in what way? What makes them good?
💯
Qualify your choices.
Would you kindly explain or give an example of what you mean?
I've been the woman in that story and the man is speaking facts. Called it out and got shear denial and almost smacked trying to get him to adjust his eyesight. Won't be doing that again.
Can you elaborate?
Imagine she is narcissist too .
I have been just immature 🙃
We'll just for an added little Clarity, that's a very mature thing to notice.
Folks; please pray for the subsidence of my limerence, I’d call it. Success to all of you in your struggles!
You got this
Just leave them be.😮
😲
I made this mistake when I was 26
The reason why most of my relationships failed
How do you break that spell tho?
Because ideally you want someone to tick these ideal boxes, right?
❤
This happened in my first marriage. I was definitely too young and wanted autonomy from my parents who had suppressed me and then it was 17 years with this dude who just wasn’t even worth it. I’m having to see where this wasn’t a complete waste and try to make it into something good I can share.
Idealization is never good for either sex. Idealization is just fantasy. Write a book fantasy tale, and then live in the real world.
FYI: it's ok to be single. 😊
What you're attracted to is whatever salves your un-healed trauma.
salves
1.
soothe (wounded pride or one's conscience).
"charity salves our conscience"
Thank you Webster, for explaining a middle school level vocabulary word
@@Veevaldimoney Wie viele Sprachen kannst du, du Klugscheißer?
@Veevaldimoney Tbf that word isn't commonly used in internet comment sections. Many might not understand the word.
Big mistake i ve made
But she seemed not that Nice after all
we could have been friend
I ll never know the Real reasons why coz the one she gave is actually sus..
Im sorry if you say pedal stool you are subhuman. It is a pedestal ... christ.
Or, in other words Dr. Peterson, don’t be a SIMP guys! Women don’t respect simps I don’t care what ANY woman says. Most women usually lie or tell half-truths, or say what’s politically correct. I don’t mean it disrespectfully it’s just the reality we live in.
That is absolutely not what he said
@@cierraword6056 well what did he say?
@@cierraword6056Putting a woman on a pedestal is the definition of simping.