Stressing gender equality in our homes and workplaces, Anne-Marie Slaughter gives this memorable speech. A self-proclaimed women rights activist highlights the importance of 'human equality' instead of just women. The talk contains so many pressing issues of modern world. Strongly recommended for the policy makers, media persons and women rights activists.
This still remains to this day the most inspirational TED talk I have had the privilege to see. I shared this with someone but, I could not stop myself from re-watching it and getting inspired all over again.
It seems like every time people hear certain words like feminism all these different ideas come up in their mind which I am guilty of too but if you just listen to what she's saying instead of perceiving ulterior motives just because she mentions feminism, you'll get that she is talking about equality and more fluidity between different gender roles. Masculine qualities are praised in our society as the ideal and all she is saying is that feminine qualities should be valued just as much. She is not saying all men and only men should all go home and be "housemen" she clearly said that she decided to go home and take care of her family. If a man OR woman wants to have more time to take care of their family, they should be given the same respect in that decision as they would from taking a promotion in their career. The idea is that these different roles associated with the two genders should be more fluid to both men and women rather than only having the roles for men being open to women. It's about valuing roles typically associated with femininity equally to the roles associated with masculinity
“If family comes first, work does not come second. Life comes together.” This was a beautifully stated meaningless platitude. We all seek balance in our lives. We are either balancing what we must do in order to support what we deem more important or we are balancing multiple interests we deem important. Most if not all of our decisions in this regard serve to advantage (in some capacity) that which we’ve chosen to prioritize.
Feminists should also understand that most men are not as stupid as they think. The role of househusband is a risky bet, with a high chance family break-up, often due to resentment from the female, working partner, who still sees home and family as her domain. Wishful thinking about human nature doesn't always fit with the reality of human nature.
GREAT talk!!! Bread-winning and care-giving roles are meant for all the genders, which depicts a lot about the individual's character and also enhances and improves work efficiency. So insightful. Thank you so much Anne-Marie for bringing this out loud! Something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, as a woman in my late 20s.
She is saying that allowing workers have time with their families is a beneficial idea and that caring about family is just as important as other type of works. I can't wait for people to forget the point to complain about some tangent on the evils of feminism.
They want subservient spineless men, so as to allow women to pursue any and all avenues of their desires-- i.e. sleep with everyone they want, annex all assets and destroy male careers, imprison all men and have them castrated and eventually have them worked to death for the benefit of women, kill all male babies, etc. #Feminism!
As a guy it's like "damn if you do damn if you don't." So after having children you can't do right. If you don't be home with your children you are an egoist. If you are at home with your children you are not masculine enough. So either way you lose..
as an MRA i fully support this woman. from what she said there i can tell she wants real equality, not the supremacy that the extremists are spouting left right and centre.where most of the time feminists concentrate on feminine problems, she recognises that men's problems also need to be solved, for the benefit of both.
Strange feeling to watch this as a swede. Almost every father around me take just as much responsibility as caregivers as the mothers. For 15 years ago I would listen to somebody claiming that men are genetically less suited to be caregivers than females and give the claim serious consideration. Now it would just sound silly, it dosen't match what I see. I know that the statistics say that there still is quite a bit to go, but attitudes have certainly changed a lot. And USA is obviously quite a bit behind, if what Slaughter says is controversial to anyone.
On average woman traits are empathy and care as they have different hormones but not on the whole. There are exceptional to the rule. But on average yes woman a better care givers and men designed to protect woman. Key words "on average " Not all
I love her focus on caregiving. There is nothing more valuable than caring for others, whether it be children, aging parents, or any person who needs us.
Resocializing me? What about resocializing women? I quote you... "We know that lots of women still judge the attractiveness of a man based on large part on how successful he is in his career."
I love her to death but I can't help but notice a few things she ignores: -Biology. Men and women don't prioritize the same things so parity isn't possible, which is what she means by equality. -Our economy is not currently paying men and women what it used to. We work more hours and are paid less. -Romanticizing corporatism and that work ethic for women is trying to shame them for not being like men.
First of all, what shes saying is that the fact that there is a biological difference that affects what women and men prioritize is just the reason why society needs to change in the direction of valuing both decisions for the family and for the workplace.
Splendid. Sometimes I wonder on how to have a true home in the future and avoid the divorce. I found it helpful to determine the roles between wifes and husbands. Our societies is significantly changing, so that it is so vital to take another views on that issues. Why are people flexible on working but different at home.
"i want to be equal to men" "i want a boyfriend who earns more than me" you literally cannot reconcile these, if you can't compromise your backward tastes with your modern ambitions then this would reduce your dating pool to a smaller and smaller bunch of men until there is only a hundred or so male CEOs with a million women after them. You will most likely lose out and live alone, and sadly women can't wait as long as men to have children, so don't wait on society to change its attitude.
this is one of those times you have to "define your terms" equality in what way? people can be equal but have separate roles for society and for their families. I make more than my wife but we decide things together as a family.
like her open mindedness, she was able to completely reevaluate a big part of her perspective. I don't agree with socializing or nationalizing day care... just tax people less and let them spend the money (it's more efficient that way). The important part as Ms.Slaughter stresses is changing the culture, also the hard part. Great talk.
People will learn to be more efficient than government to could ever hope to be, once they have to rely on themselves... And you know what else, they'll feel good about it. There will still be compassion and care for those in trouble, and we'll be able to better absorb those costs with the money we'd save. Culture must shift though, everything else will follow.
Right, and government is people (like soylent green), so why let some greedy and corrupt folks be 'responsible' for others to a degree that's not necessary. Let the natural incentives do their work. Another facet of this is that people tend to give you what you expect... So if you treat people like they're not smart enough to take care of things, well guess what, they won't be.
" juggling work/life is not a womans problem its a family problem" personally I see these arguments and i see it all as small picture stuff, if we only looking at things as sexism or racism we willl only see them a such, whenever i hear these types of issues I often see the issues are far beyond simply sexism or racism but falls more into how we work and the expectations to work, its because those expectations to fulfill duties for society, a strong nation will push its people to work harder but manpower is needed and as far as im aware humans dont crawl out of dirt, any nation that had different roles were often crumbled by stronger forces. i belive if we want to change how people thing about these topics we first need to change the wants, and focus on whats needed
Two things bug me about her speech... What does she mean by "make care giving cool for men"? I don't know any fathers who have been put to shame because they love their family and sacrifice for them. The other thing was, "socialize men". What exactly does she mean by that? I heard that in another video that made it look like women want to sculpt and groom men to fit women's needs. Is that what she's talking about?
The terminology of resocializing men is meant in the same way as the idea of it for women. Every gender, race and creed is influenced heavily by social constructs, which in turn shape the way they choose to live their lives. A resocializing is about changing the societal qualities deemed normal or right for a group of people. It involves changing words and phrasing and conceptions. A perfect example is a young boy who expresses emotion being told to "grow a pair" or "man up". This implies a lack of manhood because that boy is expressing emotion, which is a fundamentally damaging thing. That is just one of many many different examples that could be made for a resocializing.
Typical arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminist. Even after she admits that women chose man according to status her only thought is "re-socialize men". Everybody who knows the least about gender dynamics knows that female hypergamy is the driver for this. As Darwin already said: "men compete and women chose". And women chose money and power all over the world as many studies show. So, if you want to re-socialize anybody, re-socialize WOMEN! But noooo Ms. feminist... women are just perfect that way they are. Just putting all the blame on men and re-engineering them is so much nicer then looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for the action of women is so much easier. Taking responsibility for their actions is anyway something that feminist have train out of women from day one, and unformatted successfully in many case. Of course it is much nice just to blame men for everything and never having to look in the mirror and work on your self. This arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminists make me sick to the core!!!
Equality is about having the option to do anything...whether you chose to or not. You may have never wanted to study law, but should anyone have the right to keep you from studying it ? People talk about not seeing enough women in construction or sports and not having enough men in nursing. Maybe we never will. And it does not matter as long as the reason is personal choice, and not discrimination or social pressures.
I loled when she recalled going to Italy and seeing people doing siesta. I've never seen anyone napping after lunch and it's never been a common thing here in IT. it's a myth.
Well I guess it depends what part of Italy you live in. I've lived there the past two years with my husband who is Italian, and the town he lives in plus the surrounding ones shut down their stores from 1-4. His dad and girlfriend always come home for a nap. So no it is not a myth in all of Italy.
slh8844 stores usually are open from 8.30 to 12.30 and then reopen from 15.30 to 19.30 so it's possible some owner can take a nap but still they have a regular work schedule of 8 hours every day. if you work in any other place you have just one hour of lunch break and no nap is allowed. Slaughter seems to assume that we are less hard-working than US people which is not something I witnessed.
Sorry but I know plenty of men that love being Fathers and primary caregivers. Men don't need to be socialized to accept something they never had time for in the past it's women that need to be socialized to realize the obvious.
***** As much as every relationship is different and can't be thrown in the same bag, somethings can't be disputed, like the fact that a man as a primary caregiver is something that really couldn't exist in the past unless you happened to be quite wealthy. The obvious here being you can't throw everyone into the same bag. Some men would love this opportunity. Some men would not think much of it.
She didn’t say there was no man at all who were good fathers and primary caregivers, but in majority, the responsibility to take care of the kids is taken by the wife, and not by the husband..
Typical arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminist. Even after she admits that women chose man according to status her only thought is "re-socialize men". Everybody who knows the least about gender dynamics knows that female hypergamy is the driver for this. As Darwin already said: "men compete and women chose". And women chose money and power all over the world as many studies show. So, if you want to re-socialize anybody, re-socialize WOMEN! But noooo Ms. feminist... women are just perfect that way they are. Just putting all the blame on men and re-engineering them is so much nicer then looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for the action of women is so much easier. Taking responsibility for their actions is anyway something that feminist have train out of women from day one, and unformatted successfully in many case. Of course it is much nice just to blame men for everything and never having to look in the mirror and work on your self. This arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminists make me sick to the core....
I agree with this idea. Family problems is the number one cause of members of our society turning out less then ideal. We now live in a technological age where the necessity to "work" is simply a product of how we run society. We should aim to not put families through this gauntlet. It would be better for our society. This is one of many reasons I support the movement of our zeitgeist. One where humanity operates logically, not simply rolling with the same zeitgeist of the generation before us. It's our world now. We have new information. How are we going to shift the zeitgeist?
"make caregiving cool for guys" some woman themselves don't think caregiving is "cool", they think of it like patriarchal oppression or something. how on earth are you going to convince men.
When do we get to celebrate that men and women are neurologically, physically and emotionally different? Equality shouldn't mean sameness. This push for everyone to be the same is damaging. When I treat my kids with equality, that doesn't mean that I give them the same things in the same amounts.
I think most of her talk is useful. But in my opinion, she oversteps... she doesn't tackle the idea that our biology plays a huge part in what motivates men and women. I agree that we should basically be allowed to be stay at home dads, moms, or pursue a career, etc. But there is a biological impetus behind why the traditional roles existed in the first place. Understanding and dealing with that will make the cultural "revolution" more feasible.
I agree with everything she said except we now have evidence that the more housework a guy does the less sex a couple has. Personally I wouldn't want my partner to be a stay-at-home dad. I wouldn't find that arousing one bit. www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-who-do-housework-have-less-sex/ I think the solution is for people to have less kids. Some people are better at parenting than others. Some make better politicians than mothers. You can't have it all.
I don't agree with all the ideas she presented, but I find this pretty interesting and I think that it ought to start a conversation. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the whole point of TED?
Very well said. I like listening to an intelligent, strong and beautiful woman speak. We need to let the women run things for a century and see how things go. Men have had the helm long enough. Look at what a mess we've made. Great talk lady.
This is the kind of insight women in leadership roles can bring. Side-note: If she's ever elected president, we'd be able to hear all about President Slaughter on the news all day for four to eight years. Hideo Kojima's head might literally explode.
Interesting. I think of her kids. What was the reason they were having issues? Was it because with her, her work trumped her family altogether? She wasn’t living with her family . That in itself showed selfishness and all about me. Most men work to support their family. They are competitive in nature. They push harder overall. Women are most agreeable. Equally is not sameness. It’s not a competition. It’s being a team bringing our uniqueness into the relationship. When these people talk, it’s always about being the leaders, never about being garbage collectors or working on an oil rig. That’s closer to equally, but no, let men have at those areas. You wonder where pay differences come from? It’s not women get paid less for the same work. No it’s there aren’t choosing the high paying physical jobs. There lack of equally would become apparent instantly. It’s hard demanding work. It appears it’s all about the perceived power! Most women I know once kids come along have the mother hormones kick in, the nurturing instinct,. I have seen hardcore work keeners quit work entirely at that point. Or if on maternity leave, in Canada we also have paternity leave too. However that can be switched to the mother. Very few men take it. Why the mothers want that time with their babies! And they should. Babies need their moms!
Fucking sick of people like you. Ted is about ideas worth spreading, ideas with a possible impact on all humanity. This world is sick because of people who do their jobs and nothing else, ruining lives, ruining the soil, polluting air and water, destroying everything we need to live for maximization of profit, probably because they don't know what it means to take care of someone. In my opinnion, someone who doesn't know this existential part of human life is incomplete and absolutely inappropriate for any kind of executive position.
Its about time. Workplaces are old school and were really designed in the 40s and 50s. Its about time that there be a push to move us into the millennia. Family always come first, period. Student Loans don't discriminate based on gender and they enjoy making us all pay and yet we don't earn as much to pay it back. Its a complete strike upon entering the work force for women. We cannot get ahead and once we decide to have a kid and stay in the work force and day care costs kick in, the more and more we fall behind. The laggers behind are the old school boomers. Once they leave the workforce and retire out, i am hopeful change can happen.
And in all these countries you called, guess the majority of people who are staying home, women.. all at the cost of more taxes, more levies, it still comes back at them
You know I don't like that Anne-Marie try to portray women from men as not being the problem in attitude, if the women's think being successful is over other men is attractive then that is what men have to be as we don't pick the women, they pick us men. Also I live in Sweden and I think today's feminism is pure fucking BS. My intrest are in IT and I have been studying it for close to 4 years soon in different subjects. Atm I study networking and work on geing a CCNA and CCNP certificate and our class have around 30 students, can you guess how many of them are females? 1, there is only 1 female student in our whole class and there isn't many more in the class that was a year before mine. Once I see a 50/50 distribution in fields like IT and not a 99/1 distribution I can't accept that females are working on the correct ways for equality between the sexes. Oh yes just so you know, there was around 460 applicants to my college program and only 25 of them were females. FFS there are more male nurses and pre-school teachers then there are females in the IT fields.
I aggree, but men and women are interested in different things. You will not find as many females in professions that attract more introverted people. You will not find many female car mechanics or female cable technicians. On the opposite sides you will not find as many men in Health professions and fashion design for example. How many male secretaries have you seen? We do not see 50/50 distributions in professions because the problem is cultural.
Sesarrbg Well exactly why then do the feminist on the other hand point to men and say "You should be more like women and do the jobs women mostly do. Be a housedad, or become a nurse." when they themselves do not want to do the things many men have to do because there is no women that are intrested in doing their job? The job have to be done so why do you want only men to be forced to do it? It is to me simply a lame excuse with finger pointing where they blame men for not being able to have the cake or eat it as well. I know that many people have different interests and many are not interested in working in IT, as car mechanics being a nurse and soo on, but if you want to use this explanation to explain away why women aren't geting into these professions then do the same when it gets to any other profession men do not want to get into. You can't use that excuse if you fight for job equality because if you do you only cherry pick what jobs you want equality in. So if you use that excuse don't tell men to become nurses or housedads as you don't tell women to become IT-technicians or car mechanics. You are being biased and unfair if you do that and claim to fight for equality. I am sorry for being rude but cut the cultural crap, the central tenet for feminism is to change the culture so there is no such cultural difference. Do you think they achieve that by only focusing on what gender have the most power in the top job positions? I sure as hell don't, I don't even think they fight for a equal society but for a Matriarchy instead of a Patriarchy.
Cloud Seeker I don't think you're being rude, I mostly agree with you. I really dislike how feminists use their agenda to force societies to artificially affect job distribution. Efficient laws to combat gender discrimination are in place. Women are able to get the same jobs as men, they just seem not to *choose* to do it. We don't see as many female CEOs or world leaders simply because there are not as many females wanting to pursue these carreers. I believe feminists are just playing their gender card to force their ideas upon society, which is exatly the opposite of what the initial idea of feminism may have been -- to make both sexes be equally able to pusue their dreams.
She doesn't understand men. that's all. it's not her fault. she is not a man and she was tired of taking a man's role. Nobody told me to soldier elements on electronic board because I was a boy. I loved to "make things" as any other man does, she says socially condition men to become women. that's not absurd at all. It's happening all over the place. that's why women and men are sexually suppressed. My friend says Scandinavian guys rarely approach women in clubs or bars. They need to become more masculine I reckon, not feminine.
The numbers are never going to be fair. Men and women are different. Equality is one thing, but sometimes this gets out of line. For example, something that's argued a lot is pay rate, let's say this: average pay for men in certain position is $100k but for women it's $95k. Maybe the men have more people who are senior thus, raising the average. Maybe the men are overall better at the job than women. Maybe they negotiated their income better. Maybe there are countless reasons why, other than gender inequality.
I enjoyed this talk it made great points about breaking down barriers and uniting life completely. The choice of the word bread-winning was used over and over in the talk which is fine but I think our society should get past that. Why are we working for food? Food and shelter should be a basic human right since they sustain life and life is our basic human right. Let us work and strive for the things we want to accomplish and gain in our lifetime. Let us not work and struggle for the means of survival.
This talk is a lot better than other feminism talks. Most of the time it's women this women that, glass ceiling blah blah blah. This talk actually talks about gender equality from an interesting perspective, and not stressing on how women are treated unfairly. I hope the other ignorant aggressive feminists can follow her lead to talk with a down to earth approach.
I agree with you saying it's supposed to be equal for men and women but I'm a father at 5 and I do everything as I can for them after my wife divorced me because she thinks you can do better than I can the equal right
I think the family courts should establish a rebuttable presumption of shared custody in divorce, instead of generally assigning custody to mothers. Good luck getting feminist power groups to endorse that, as it would require women it relinquish a priviledge.
One of the reasons children tend to go with their mothers is because women tend to be the primary caregivers. The parent that spends more time with the child usually wins custody. My father was the primary caregiver, so I went with him.
Why should a father that spends less time with his children pre-divorce than the mother does, because he works full time, not be granted shared custody, roughly half of the parenting time. if he wants it post divorce? Why shouldn't that be the starting point of negotiations? In what way is reducing his role even futher just?
hopelesscase42 It's because to grant equal custody tends to mean that the kids have to shuffle back and forth between the two parents endlessly. Children thrive on stability and so for them to switch homes back and forth is far from ideal. So the question isn't what is fair to the parents, but rather what is in the best interest of the child. As I mentioned previously, this does not have to be the mother, but the primary caregiver.
I can make decent money, have two full time jobs, go to school for fun, drive a luxury vehicle, vacation rarely, have a horse, but I can't have love or a family so... I get this. Work first in this world, but I let my employees see their families and have sick days.
Did she and her husband even just once have a discussion about whose responsibility the boys' academic progress was? If he was at home the whole time, then it was mostly HIS. It wasn't her fault. Her husband failed their sons. Period.
I think this talk could have engaged much better if it was framed differently as the tension of modern society, the global service economy as she phrased it, with 3 things: money, work, and family. How can TEDsters reboot the old model (aka work-life balance) and make a smarter system that values both work and family, and that would changing culture and economy.
Sorry , I´m ready to live the common sense revolution more than another, great words make great problems, and as you say and do we can convince with personal decisions, vital choices that make ours better, more than principles and theories. Thank you.
This is a game changer. What an intelligent person However men biologically compete for better jobs and woman are biologically attracted to powerful men as to protect their young
Why does every Feminist ignore basic biology? Just look at testosterone levels for a start between men and women. Men are naturally more competitive. There are serious, obvious biological differences, why would you assume there are none psychologically?
*Is equality the way forward or just simple team work?..* Sword1479 Ok take the biological difference like potential maximum muscle, would you call that a minor difference? The fact we have to separate men and women in sports to make it fair should give some hint to a wider biological difference than you think. Basic cognition tests show differences in language capabilities, emotional capabilities and so many other things. antebellum606 You also don't know how to think statistically. *We are not an asexual species, we are yin and yang with each gender having certain strengths and weaknesses, accepting this but allowing freedom then supporting each other in relationships by covering each others weaknesses is the way forward.*
Olie O Generalizing how people should act or do things based on physical differences treads that dangerous line of discriminatory talk, don't you think? It's like saying, "Women have uteruses and men don't, therefore women exist to have children while men exist to get them pregnant." At the biological level you could say this is true. At the sociological level, this would ignore individual autonomy, sexual relationships for pleasure and mental health, and all sorts of other equality issues. At the biological level, no, we are not equal. At the sociological level, the aim is to make us all equal.
StarSnowGhost _At the sociological level were all grouped into statistics_ (sociology is the study of human *society*, so i'm pretty sure you have no idea what you're talking about) if you compare statistical trends with actual science you'll find nature (biological) rather than nurture (environmental) explanations for some of the statistics. *Once we find which explanations are biological* (and therefore deterministic) *we can accept them and design society accordingly rather than force total equality which would be unnatural without altering our DNA.* Equality to me is such a nonsensical word in a world full of unique individuals. Equal opportunity and a more empathic society seems like a better target. Those are both things that are effected largely by environmental factors and can be changed. --------------- *Her bio* "Anne-Marie Slaughter is the Bert G. Kerstetter '66 University Professor of Politics and International Affairs at Princeton University and was formerly Dean of Princeton's Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs. Wikipedia" *Her book:* *_"The Idea That Is America: Keeping Faith with Our Values in a Dangerous World"_* ^ *That explains her complete disregard for science*
No one can have it all. Not men, not women. Life is about choices and trades. Only egomaniac "empowered grrrrlll power" feminists sell and buy into that delusion.
![Hunxho - Ball Forever [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nki9ZTF9Uls/mqdefault.jpg)
Stressing gender equality in our homes and workplaces, Anne-Marie Slaughter gives this memorable speech. A self-proclaimed women rights activist highlights the importance of 'human equality' instead of just women. The talk contains so many pressing issues of modern world. Strongly recommended for the policy makers, media persons and women rights activists.
This still remains to this day the most inspirational TED talk I have had the privilege to see. I shared this with someone but, I could not stop myself from re-watching it and getting inspired all over again.
It seems like every time people hear certain words like feminism all these different ideas come up in their mind which I am guilty of too but if you just listen to what she's saying instead of perceiving ulterior motives just because she mentions feminism, you'll get that she is talking about equality and more fluidity between different gender roles. Masculine qualities are praised in our society as the ideal and all she is saying is that feminine qualities should be valued just as much. She is not saying all men and only men should all go home and be "housemen" she clearly said that she decided to go home and take care of her family. If a man OR woman wants to have more time to take care of their family, they should be given the same respect in that decision as they would from taking a promotion in their career. The idea is that these different roles associated with the two genders should be more fluid to both men and women rather than only having the roles for men being open to women. It's about valuing roles typically associated with femininity equally to the roles associated with masculinity
What feminine qualities are of equal value?
I dunno if something can’t prove to be of equal value then there’s no use in praising it as much the better one
“If family comes first, work does not come second. Life comes together.”
This was a beautifully stated meaningless platitude. We all seek balance in our lives. We are either balancing what we must do in order to support what we deem more important or we are balancing multiple interests we deem important. Most if not all of our decisions in this regard serve to advantage (in some capacity) that which we’ve chosen to prioritize.
You wrote so many words and still said nothing
Feminists should also understand that most men are not as stupid as they think. The role of househusband is a risky bet, with a high chance family break-up, often due to resentment from the female, working partner, who still sees home and family as her domain. Wishful thinking about human nature doesn't always fit with the reality of human nature.
GREAT talk!!! Bread-winning and care-giving roles are meant for all the genders, which depicts a lot about the individual's character and also enhances and improves work efficiency. So insightful. Thank you so much Anne-Marie for bringing this out loud! Something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, as a woman in my late 20s.
She is saying that allowing workers have time with their families is a beneficial idea and that caring about family is just as important as other type of works.
I can't wait for people to forget the point to complain about some tangent on the evils of feminism.
She went full equality, never go full equality.
Hypergamy doesn’t care! Women don’t want soft men.
They want subservient spineless men, so as to allow women to pursue any and all avenues of their desires-- i.e. sleep with everyone they want, annex all assets and destroy male careers, imprison all men and have them castrated and eventually have them worked to death for the benefit of women, kill all male babies, etc.
#Feminism!
As a guy it's like "damn if you do damn if you don't." So after having children you can't do right. If you don't be home with your children you are an egoist. If you are at home with your children you are not masculine enough. So either way you lose..
I don't care about this video at all, I just wanted to point out that slaughter is the most metal last name possible.
That is also amazing.
+Sentay0
First name: Brutus
Last name: Slaughter
BRUTAL'S SLAUGHTER.
+Existential Error We're bordering on too metal at this point soon non-metallic entities will be unable to exist.
Sentay0 Look pal, we can't HAVE IT ALL.
as an MRA i fully support this woman. from what she said there i can tell she wants real equality, not the supremacy that the extremists are spouting left right and centre.where most of the time feminists concentrate on feminine problems, she recognises that men's problems also need to be solved, for the benefit of both.
I wish my last name was Slaughter
***** yeh it would be more of an honest description of what they will do during their time in office then the manifestos of presidential candidates.
Parents just need to be less connected to their internet celphones and have more family time.
The sime thing have to do children too
Strange feeling to watch this as a swede. Almost every father around me take just as much responsibility as caregivers as the mothers. For 15 years ago I would listen to somebody claiming that men are genetically less suited to be caregivers than females and give the claim serious consideration. Now it would just sound silly, it dosen't match what I see. I know that the statistics say that there still is quite a bit to go, but attitudes have certainly changed a lot. And USA is obviously quite a bit behind, if what Slaughter says is controversial to anyone.
On average woman traits are empathy and care as they have different hormones but not on the whole. There are exceptional to the rule. But on average yes woman a better care givers and men designed to protect woman. Key words "on average "
Not all
I literally yelled "NO!" at the screen at 13:34.
I love her focus on caregiving. There is nothing more valuable than caring for others, whether it be children, aging parents, or any person who needs us.
Resocializing me?
What about resocializing women?
I quote you... "We know that lots of women still judge the attractiveness of a man based on large part on how successful he is in his career."
I was going to make the same comment lol
I guess that this is as close are we are ever going to get to a woman admitting that feminism is a car crash.
I love her to death but I can't help but notice a few things she ignores:
-Biology. Men and women don't prioritize the same things so parity isn't possible, which is what she means by equality.
-Our economy is not currently paying men and women what it used to. We work more hours and are paid less.
-Romanticizing corporatism and that work ethic for women is trying to shame them for not being like men.
First of all, what shes saying is that the fact that there is a biological difference that affects what women and men prioritize is just the reason why society needs to change in the direction of valuing both decisions for the family and for the workplace.
I dont see why you are having those suspicions. Did you even listen till the end?
Splendid. Sometimes I wonder on how to have a true home in the future and avoid the divorce. I found it helpful to determine the roles between wifes and husbands. Our societies is significantly changing, so that it is so vital to take another views on that issues. Why are people flexible on working but different at home.
yaaasss. she's my aunt... I'm so proud of her
"i want to be equal to men"
"i want a boyfriend who earns more than me"
you literally cannot reconcile these, if you can't compromise your backward tastes with your modern ambitions then this would reduce your dating pool to a smaller and smaller bunch of men until there is only a hundred or so male CEOs with a million women after them. You will most likely lose out and live alone, and sadly women can't wait as long as men to have children, so don't wait on society to change its attitude.
this is one of those times you have to "define your terms" equality in what way? people can be equal but have separate roles for society and for their families. I make more than my wife but we decide things together as a family.
like her open mindedness, she was able to completely reevaluate a big part of her perspective. I don't agree with socializing or nationalizing day care... just tax people less and let them spend the money (it's more efficient that way). The important part as Ms.Slaughter stresses is changing the culture, also the hard part. Great talk.
Efficient if people were ideal spenders, which we're not..
People will learn to be more efficient than government to could ever hope to be, once they have to rely on themselves... And you know what else, they'll feel good about it. There will still be compassion and care for those in trouble, and we'll be able to better absorb those costs with the money we'd save. Culture must shift though, everything else will follow.
chromanin That's very idealistic of you, but people tend to be more selfish and self-destructive than you believe.
Right, and government is people (like soylent green), so why let some greedy and corrupt folks be 'responsible' for others to a degree that's not necessary. Let the natural incentives do their work. Another facet of this is that people tend to give you what you expect... So if you treat people like they're not smart enough to take care of things, well guess what, they won't be.
great talk, men and women's roles are equally important
no, you can't have it all. no one can. and the more you try, the worse you will make things for yourself.
" juggling work/life is not a womans problem its a family problem" personally I see these arguments and i see it all as small picture stuff, if we only looking at things as sexism or racism we willl only see them a such, whenever i hear these types of issues I often see the issues are far beyond simply sexism or racism but falls more into how we work and the expectations to work, its because those expectations to fulfill duties for society, a strong nation will push its people to work harder but manpower is needed and as far as im aware humans dont crawl out of dirt, any nation that had different roles were often crumbled by stronger forces.
i belive if we want to change how people thing about these topics we first need to change the wants, and focus on whats needed
Two things bug me about her speech...
What does she mean by "make care giving cool for men"? I don't know any fathers who have been put to shame because they love their family and sacrifice for them.
The other thing was, "socialize men". What exactly does she mean by that? I heard that in another video that made it look like women want to sculpt and groom men to fit women's needs. Is that what she's talking about?
The terminology of resocializing men is meant in the same way as the idea of it for women. Every gender, race and creed is influenced heavily by social constructs, which in turn shape the way they choose to live their lives. A resocializing is about changing the societal qualities deemed normal or right for a group of people. It involves changing words and phrasing and conceptions. A perfect example is a young boy who expresses emotion being told to "grow a pair" or "man up". This implies a lack of manhood because that boy is expressing emotion, which is a fundamentally damaging thing. That is just one of many many different examples that could be made for a resocializing.
Typical arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminist. Even after she admits that women chose man according to status her only thought is "re-socialize men". Everybody who knows the least about gender dynamics knows that female hypergamy is the driver for this. As Darwin already said: "men compete and women chose". And women chose money and power all over the world as many studies show. So, if you want to re-socialize anybody, re-socialize WOMEN! But noooo Ms. feminist... women are just perfect that way they are. Just putting all the blame on men and re-engineering them is so much nicer then looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for the action of women is so much easier. Taking responsibility for their actions is anyway something that feminist have train out of women from day one, and unformatted successfully in many case. Of course it is much nice just to blame men for everything and never having to look in the mirror and work on your self. This arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminists make me sick to the core!!!
Equality is about having the option to do anything...whether you chose to or not. You may have never wanted to study law, but should anyone have the right to keep you from studying it ? People talk about not seeing enough women in construction or sports and not having enough men in nursing. Maybe we never will. And it does not matter as long as the reason is personal choice, and not discrimination or social pressures.
I loled when she recalled going to Italy and seeing people doing siesta. I've never seen anyone napping after lunch and it's never been a common thing here in IT. it's a myth.
Well I guess it depends what part of Italy you live in. I've lived there the past two years with my husband who is Italian, and the town he lives in plus the surrounding ones shut down their stores from 1-4. His dad and girlfriend always come home for a nap. So no it is not a myth in all of Italy.
slh8844
stores usually are open from 8.30 to 12.30 and then reopen from 15.30 to 19.30 so it's possible some owner can take a nap but still they have a regular work schedule of 8 hours every day. if you work in any other place you have just one hour of lunch break and no nap is allowed. Slaughter seems to assume that we are less hard-working than US people which is not something I witnessed.
Sorry but I know plenty of men that love being Fathers and primary caregivers.
Men don't need to be socialized to accept something they never had time for in the past it's women that need to be socialized to realize the obvious.
hummm. no.
*****
As much as every relationship is different and can't be thrown in the same bag, somethings can't be disputed, like the fact that a man as a primary caregiver is something that really couldn't exist in the past unless you happened to be quite wealthy.
The obvious here being you can't throw everyone into the same bag. Some men would love this opportunity. Some men would not think much of it.
She didn’t say there was no man at all who were good fathers and primary caregivers, but in majority, the responsibility to take care of the kids is taken by the wife, and not by the husband..
Typical arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminist. Even after she admits that women chose man according to status her only thought is "re-socialize men". Everybody who knows the least about gender dynamics knows that female hypergamy is the driver for this. As Darwin already said: "men compete and women chose". And women chose money and power all over the world as many studies show. So, if you want to re-socialize anybody, re-socialize WOMEN! But noooo Ms. feminist... women are just perfect that way they are. Just putting all the blame on men and re-engineering them is so much nicer then looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for the action of women is so much easier. Taking responsibility for their actions is anyway something that feminist have train out of women from day one, and unformatted successfully in many case. Of course it is much nice just to blame men for everything and never having to look in the mirror and work on your self. This arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical, bigoted feminists make me sick to the core....
Sure men love being primary caregivers. I guarantee their wives don't.
I agree with this idea. Family problems is the number one cause of members of our society turning out less then ideal.
We now live in a technological age where the necessity to "work" is simply a product of how we run society. We should aim to not put families through this gauntlet. It would be better for our society. This is one of many reasons I support the movement of our zeitgeist. One where humanity operates logically, not simply rolling with the same zeitgeist of the generation before us. It's our world now. We have new information. How are we going to shift the zeitgeist?
Absolutely loved this.
Wow! I've been thinking this needs to be said for ages! Great talk!
That is a killer last name.
"make caregiving cool for guys" some woman themselves don't think caregiving is "cool", they think of it like patriarchal oppression or something. how on earth are you going to convince men.
When do we get to celebrate that men and women are neurologically, physically and emotionally different? Equality shouldn't mean sameness. This push for everyone to be the same is damaging. When I treat my kids with equality, that doesn't mean that I give them the same things in the same amounts.
A courageous talk - given how easily people can misunderstand
She chose her words with compassion and empathy and that I believe appeals to everyone with a open mind.
I think most of her talk is useful. But in my opinion, she oversteps... she doesn't tackle the idea that our biology plays a huge part in what motivates men and women. I agree that we should basically be allowed to be stay at home dads, moms, or pursue a career, etc. But there is a biological impetus behind why the traditional roles existed in the first place. Understanding and dealing with that will make the cultural "revolution" more feasible.
Thank you, Ann-Marie!
Amazing ted talk! My husband needed to hear this! It was great meeting you at disneyland🤗
I agree with everything she said except we now have evidence that the more housework a guy does the less sex a couple has. Personally I wouldn't want my partner to be a stay-at-home dad. I wouldn't find that arousing one bit. www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-who-do-housework-have-less-sex/
I think the solution is for people to have less kids. Some people are better at parenting than others. Some make better politicians than mothers. You can't have it all.
I don't agree with all the ideas she presented, but I find this pretty interesting and I think that it ought to start a conversation. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the whole point of TED?
Yes! This direction!
I’m surprised most comments disagree with the speech of this woman. I thought Americans were, in majority, open-minded
Very well said. I like listening to an intelligent, strong and beautiful woman speak. We need to let the women run things for a century and see how things go. Men have had the helm long enough. Look at what a mess we've made. Great talk lady.
Ok so what she's saying is " we're not getting more women in top power positions fast enough so... let's bring down the number for men" yes?
This is the kind of insight women in leadership roles can bring.
Side-note: If she's ever elected president, we'd be able to hear all about President Slaughter on the news all day for four to eight years. Hideo Kojima's head might literally explode.
Yay,equality for all.!I like it.Bravo!
Interesting. I think of her kids. What was the reason they were having issues? Was it because with her, her work trumped her family altogether? She wasn’t living with her family . That in itself showed selfishness and all about me.
Most men work to support their family. They are competitive in nature. They push harder overall. Women are most agreeable. Equally is not sameness. It’s not a competition. It’s being a team bringing our uniqueness into the relationship.
When these people talk, it’s always about being the leaders, never about being garbage collectors or working on an oil rig. That’s closer to equally, but no, let men have at those areas. You wonder where pay differences come from? It’s not women get paid less for the same work. No it’s there aren’t choosing the high paying physical jobs. There lack of equally would become apparent instantly. It’s hard demanding work. It appears it’s all about the perceived power!
Most women I know once kids come along have the mother hormones kick in, the nurturing instinct,. I have seen hardcore work keeners quit work entirely at that point. Or if on maternity leave, in Canada we also have paternity leave too. However that can be switched to the mother. Very few men take it. Why the mothers want that time with their babies! And they should. Babies need their moms!
Thank you ! Great message!
Fucking sick of these talks ted .. Stop allowing these feminists to have a stage amongst people who actually deserve being on stage
Fucking sick of people like you. Ted is about ideas worth spreading, ideas with a possible impact on all humanity.
This world is sick because of people who do their jobs and nothing else, ruining lives, ruining the soil, polluting air and water, destroying everything we need to live for maximization of profit, probably because they don't know what it means to take care of someone.
In my opinnion, someone who doesn't know this existential part of human life is incomplete and absolutely inappropriate for any kind of executive position.
Your babble has no relevance.
Whom do you think deserves to speak on TED? Someone as arrogant and chauvinist like yourself？
No obviously someone like you who makes sweeping generalisations and ill attempted slander without any sort of reasoning.
This is worth to watch.
what the fuck does that have to do with technology?
This is fantastic!
_Is called "Slaughter"_
_is not a death metal musician_
Fantastic. Finally someone goes and says that women's work is devalued.
Its about time. Workplaces are old school and were really designed in the 40s and 50s. Its about time that there be a push to move us into the millennia. Family always come first, period. Student Loans don't discriminate based on gender and they enjoy making us all pay and yet we don't earn as much to pay it back. Its a complete strike upon entering the work force for women. We cannot get ahead and once we decide to have a kid and stay in the work force and day care costs kick in, the more and more we fall behind. The laggers behind are the old school boomers. Once they leave the workforce and retire out, i am hopeful change can happen.
What a great speech.
Agree with her 100%
And in all these countries you called, guess the majority of people who are staying home, women.. all at the cost of more taxes, more levies, it still comes back at them
Oh shit, this video says the word "feminism" and sees it as a positive thing, can't wait for the comment war.
Human can't be equal in every aspects.
I read her name as "Anne-Man Slaughter".
or "Manne-Marie Slaughter"
Goddamn it. They always leave Finland out. That's racism man!
You know I don't like that Anne-Marie try to portray women from men as not being the problem in attitude, if the women's think being successful is over other men is attractive then that is what men have to be as we don't pick the women, they pick us men.
Also I live in Sweden and I think today's feminism is pure fucking BS. My intrest are in IT and I have been studying it for close to 4 years soon in different subjects. Atm I study networking and work on geing a CCNA and CCNP certificate and our class have around 30 students, can you guess how many of them are females? 1, there is only 1 female student in our whole class and there isn't many more in the class that was a year before mine. Once I see a 50/50 distribution in fields like IT and not a 99/1 distribution I can't accept that females are working on the correct ways for equality between the sexes. Oh yes just so you know, there was around 460 applicants to my college program and only 25 of them were females. FFS there are more male nurses and pre-school teachers then there are females in the IT fields.
I aggree, but men and women are interested in different things. You will not find as many females in professions that attract more introverted people.
You will not find many female car mechanics or female cable technicians.
On the opposite sides you will not find as many men in Health professions and fashion design for example. How many male secretaries have you seen?
We do not see 50/50 distributions in professions because the problem is cultural.
Sesarrbg Well exactly why then do the feminist on the other hand point to men and say "You should be more like women and do the jobs women mostly do. Be a housedad, or become a nurse." when they themselves do not want to do the things many men have to do because there is no women that are intrested in doing their job? The job have to be done so why do you want only men to be forced to do it? It is to me simply a lame excuse with finger pointing where they blame men for not being able to have the cake or eat it as well.
I know that many people have different interests and many are not interested in working in IT, as car mechanics being a nurse and soo on, but if you want to use this explanation to explain away why women aren't geting into these professions then do the same when it gets to any other profession men do not want to get into. You can't use that excuse if you fight for job equality because if you do you only cherry pick what jobs you want equality in. So if you use that excuse don't tell men to become nurses or housedads as you don't tell women to become IT-technicians or car mechanics. You are being biased and unfair if you do that and claim to fight for equality.
I am sorry for being rude but cut the cultural crap, the central tenet for feminism is to change the culture so there is no such cultural difference. Do you think they achieve that by only focusing on what gender have the most power in the top job positions? I sure as hell don't, I don't even think they fight for a equal society but for a Matriarchy instead of a Patriarchy.
Cloud Seeker I don't think you're being rude, I mostly agree with you. I really dislike how feminists use their agenda to force societies to artificially affect job distribution. Efficient laws to combat gender discrimination are in place. Women are able to get the same jobs as men, they just seem not to *choose* to do it. We don't see as many female CEOs or world leaders simply because there are not as many females wanting to pursue these carreers.
I believe feminists are just playing their gender card to force their ideas upon society, which is exatly the opposite of what the initial idea of feminism may have been -- to make both sexes be equally able to pusue their dreams.
She doesn't understand men. that's all. it's not her fault. she is not a man and she was tired of taking a man's role.
Nobody told me to soldier elements on electronic board because I was a boy. I loved to "make things" as any other man does,
she says socially condition men to become women. that's not absurd at all. It's happening all over the place. that's why women and men are sexually suppressed.
My friend says Scandinavian guys rarely approach women in clubs or bars. They need to become more masculine I reckon, not feminine.
You are lucky to have been able to choose. That is the main problem and the real thing that everybody should be trying to fix.
I agree with her.
The numbers are never going to be fair. Men and women are different. Equality is one thing, but sometimes this gets out of line. For example, something that's argued a lot is pay rate, let's say this: average pay for men in certain position is $100k but for women it's $95k. Maybe the men have more people who are senior thus, raising the average. Maybe the men are overall better at the job than women. Maybe they negotiated their income better. Maybe there are countless reasons why, other than gender inequality.
I was proud to be a stay at home dad ..
I enjoyed this talk it made great points about breaking down barriers and uniting life completely. The choice of the word bread-winning was used over and over in the talk which is fine but I think our society should get past that. Why are we working for food? Food and shelter should be a basic human right since they sustain life and life is our basic human right. Let us work and strive for the things we want to accomplish and gain in our lifetime. Let us not work and struggle for the means of survival.
I like this women. We need more like her.
Idc about what she says but that name is awesome
You can't spell slaughter without laughter
Great talk ,great subject
This talk is a lot better than other feminism talks. Most of the time it's women this women that, glass ceiling blah blah blah. This talk actually talks about gender equality from an interesting perspective, and not stressing on how women are treated unfairly. I hope the other ignorant aggressive feminists can follow her lead to talk with a down to earth approach.
I agree with you saying it's supposed to be equal for men and women but I'm a father at 5 and I do everything as I can for them after my wife divorced me because she thinks you can do better than I can the equal right
I think the family courts should establish a rebuttable presumption of shared custody in divorce, instead of generally assigning custody to mothers. Good luck getting feminist power groups to endorse that, as it would require women it relinquish a priviledge.
One of the reasons children tend to go with their mothers is because women tend to be the primary caregivers. The parent that spends more time with the child usually wins custody. My father was the primary caregiver, so I went with him.
Why should a father that spends less time with his children pre-divorce than the mother does, because he works full time, not be granted shared custody, roughly half of the parenting time. if he wants it post divorce? Why shouldn't that be the starting point of negotiations? In what way is reducing his role even futher just?
hopelesscase42 It's because to grant equal custody tends to mean that the kids have to shuffle back and forth between the two parents endlessly. Children thrive on stability and so for them to switch homes back and forth is far from ideal. So the question isn't what is fair to the parents, but rather what is in the best interest of the child.
As I mentioned previously, this does not have to be the mother, but the primary caregiver.
This is common sense.
Wow this speech was really about true gender equality, I like it.
*headbangs violently in the crowd*
It sad that this talk is at TED.
She's set us back 50 years again
LUXAETERNA6603
Thank God
It has been 50 years down the wrong road!!!
brilliant!
very visionary and inspiring!!!
YES WE CAN.....
i said its time to have it all, he said he figured the same
SHE TALKS SO FUCKING SLOWLY. I HAD TO TURN THIS ON 1.25x
+john doe You're a member of the 5 second soundbyte generation.
young money She's not a professional commentator, obviously. But it's what you say, not how you say it, that really matters.
I can make decent money, have two full time jobs, go to school for fun, drive a luxury vehicle, vacation rarely, have a horse, but I can't have love or a family so... I get this. Work first in this world, but I let my employees see their families and have sick days.
Did she and her husband even just once have a discussion about whose responsibility the boys' academic progress was? If he was at home the whole time, then it was mostly HIS. It wasn't her fault. Her husband failed their sons. Period.
I think this talk could have engaged much better if it was framed differently as the tension of modern society, the global service economy as she phrased it, with 3 things: money, work, and family. How can TEDsters reboot the old model (aka work-life balance) and make a smarter system that values both work and family, and that would changing culture and economy.
The first word of her presentation is "So..." That was all I needed to hear. Not watching the rest. It is the modern equivalent of "Duhhhhhhhh."
Lolll
Sorry , I´m ready to live the common sense revolution more than another, great words make great problems, and as you say and do we can convince with personal decisions, vital choices that make ours better, more than principles and theories. Thank you.
The Chinese(Traditional) translation is not good enough
This is a game changer. What an intelligent person
However men biologically compete for better jobs and woman are biologically attracted to powerful men as to protect their young
No.
Come on...
Are we going to say it or should I...
Why does every Feminist ignore basic biology? Just look at testosterone levels for a start between men and women. Men are naturally more competitive. There are serious, obvious biological differences, why would you assume there are none psychologically?
There are certainly psychological differences between men and women. Why does that mean we can ignore the flaws in our culture?
I'm a man. I don't have to be competitive.
*Is equality the way forward or just simple team work?..*
Sword1479 Ok take the biological difference like potential maximum muscle, would you call that a minor difference? The fact we have to separate men and women in sports to make it fair should give some hint to a wider biological difference than you think.
Basic cognition tests show differences in language capabilities, emotional capabilities and so many other things.
antebellum606 You also don't know how to think statistically.
*We are not an asexual species, we are yin and yang with each gender having certain strengths and weaknesses, accepting this but allowing freedom then supporting each other in relationships by covering each others weaknesses is the way forward.*
Olie O Generalizing how people should act or do things based on physical differences treads that dangerous line of discriminatory talk, don't you think? It's like saying, "Women have uteruses and men don't, therefore women exist to have children while men exist to get them pregnant." At the biological level you could say this is true. At the sociological level, this would ignore individual autonomy, sexual relationships for pleasure and mental health, and all sorts of other equality issues. At the biological level, no, we are not equal. At the sociological level, the aim is to make us all equal.
StarSnowGhost
_At the sociological level were all grouped into statistics_ (sociology is the study of human *society*, so i'm pretty sure you have no idea what you're talking about)
if you compare statistical trends with actual science you'll find nature (biological) rather than nurture (environmental) explanations for some of the statistics. *Once we find which explanations are biological* (and therefore deterministic) *we can accept them and design society accordingly rather than force total equality which would be unnatural without altering our DNA.*
Equality to me is such a nonsensical word in a world full of unique individuals. Equal opportunity and a more empathic society seems like a better target. Those are both things that are effected largely by environmental factors and can be changed.
---------------
*Her bio*
"Anne-Marie Slaughter is the Bert G. Kerstetter '66 University Professor of Politics and International Affairs at Princeton University and was formerly Dean of Princeton's Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs. Wikipedia"
*Her book:*
*_"The Idea That Is America: Keeping Faith with Our Values in a Dangerous World"_*
^ *That explains her complete disregard for science*
OK. Whats your point?
well...but..we're rolling in the deeeeeeeeeep
No one can have it all. Not men, not women. Life is about choices and trades. Only egomaniac "empowered grrrrlll power" feminists sell and buy into that delusion.