Reconnecting With Ourselves After Decades of Putting Our Wishes Aside
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- Most women in our Sixty and Me community find that there is a major transition that takes place when our children leave home or we go through a divorce or life shift. After years, often decades of giving support and time to others, we look at our own lives in our sixties and feel the need to put our own wishes first.
In this video, we look at ways we can shift to positive self-talk that enables us to be ourselves as we get older. We explore activities that connected us with our true selves.
What activities do you enjoy that you haven’t engaged in for a while? What do you realize has fallen by the wayside that you’d love to get back, even a bit of it? What would you like a chance at?
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I’m 71 and would say I’m knowing more who I am the older I get. At 50 I was widowed after 24 years. @ 51, I remarried and started an entire new life. The next 10 years were the most free and fun of my life. My new husband and I were like 2 children playing. Kayaking. I learned to play golf. Short trips to the Smokies or coast. I quit work. It was awesome. I so needed a rest. @ 61, my husband built my dream house in the country (130 acres in the middle of a national forest with a mile of creek front). @ 69 I wrote my first novel (after a very hard trial). I’m more me than I’ve ever been. It’s a good time of life for me. Thank God I still have my health.
How fortunate you are to be able to do these things later in life with a new husband and the means to accomplish it. Not all of us are able to fulfill our bucket list unfortunately for one reason or other. Guess it's time for some of us to make a new bucket list.
Wow, this is inspiring!
@E. W. Good for you. You might have to stay with family or friends until you get on your feet but it is doable. No one should stay in an abusive relationship no matter what.
@E. W. The only and best plan is to "do it now"! It may feel difficult, but leaving only takes about 10 min... and even if you are to stay temporarily with a friend or family ... you will feel the biggest relief and wonder why you didn't earlier. Now is the time the thinking or planning for it needs to end ... things will fall into place once you are on the other side. I love the quote " Life is tough darling, but so are you." by Stephanie Bennett-Henry. Blessings Sunshine
@E. W. So incredibly exciting!!
Like a very wise person told me, you can't take care of anyone until you take care of yourself.
at 74, i am re-realizing that i have been an "adapter" to other people's needs my entire life; as a child in order to survive and as an adult because it's all i knew. it has not always been a bad thing, but boy, sure is difficult to answer these questions..........
I have spent the past several months asking these questions; I would like to put me first without feeling quilty or selfish thank you for this.
Would you believe that at 73 years young I baked for the first time? Even I can't believe it. Never tried it before because I thought it was too difficult. Just reading the ingredient list would intimidate me. Mind you, I had children who questioned the kind of mom I was. Back to baking. I'm now 75 and love, love to bake. I'm always baking different things and I just love it. Every thing turns out so delicious 😋and divine. No, I don't get to eat it all. I share with my grown children, extended family and neighbors. What a blessing 🙌.
I’m 68 I never bake. I’ll try it :)
That's wonderful and inspiring 🙂
Sixty and me, I truly enjoyed watching and listening to this Video thanks for sharing your absolutely right I am 68, be 69yrs in Nov and I've noticed I read alot more then usual also trying to travel have not done it yet, but I will not far and you gave great ideals like to the next town or so, I don't have alot of money. changing my life around for the better years ago you lose alot of people that was once in your life its okay, though, Children all grown on their own, now I want to venture out meet new people and do what makes me happy, and enjoy the rest of my duration here on earth
Really thought provoking video. Especially after the year that we’ve just gone through. I’m 69 and have lost a few “friends”. Not the way one would lose a friend, but in my change of attitude. They couldn’t be friends with me, so I figure they really weren’t friends at all. They just like to commiserate, and suddenly I wasn’t. No more moaning and groaning. I found that I really do like reading, watching history documentaries, and of course my garden. Plan on going to the Library book discussion, now that they’re starting back up. Things are looking up. I got so much more out of the video, but this is what I chose to write about
Mary G SAME HERE, especially about the "friends".
I lost a few friends recently too because i realised that i always put them first, they couldn't compromise, its difficult but now i feel free
If you are young and still rearing kids, start NOW learning how to make time for yourself. Our 5 kids and 13 grands still dominate much of our time. That’s bc they are the people most important to us. But we do know how to say no or later. Sometimes we have to put them first, but I get plenty of me time as well. Love this channel.
Do u have instagram account?
A huge part is giving yourself permission to do this. I want to write a book too. I love research too, historical stuff. I am working on getting a dog right now. WE deserve THIS TIME AND THIS HAPPINESS
Thank you. Sometimes its difficult to just do what you really want to do, when you have family members that expect other things from you. I have to help them understand that they need to be more independent so I can enjoy my activities. After many years of taking care of others I'm out of practice of caring just for me. Gonna start practicing.....it's time.
I have never let losing myself. Always followed interest. My goal this year is reading the bible in a year, never read it all. Now a widow for two years looking forward to this new life.
I have that same goal. Hope I can do it.
I’ve done it twice! Once from start to finish, once chronologically. 👍
Gorgeous colors on You, Margaret! I love solitude...i enjoyed a beautiful cloudy day here, keeping to myself... 🙂
Loved this! So powerful and enlightening. I'm grateful to live a peaceful and genuine life. I've learned to relax, let go of stress and let the universe provide. I'm doing the things I loved most as a kid; reading, writing, listening to music and enjoying nature. I can't climb trees anymore, hike mountain trails or go to concerts, but I'm so glad I did everything I loved while I could and now I do the things I can. 75 and sunny!
Audiobooks are great. I’ve been catching up on some of the classics that I never got around to. Bible study with friends is a great comfort to me.
Margaret, you look fabulous! Thank you for this spot-on topic and for all you do for us all the time. Rosemarie 💖
Yes, books and reading, getting back to that!
Received my undergraduate and graduate degree in the last decade. At my long-term Executive Assistant contract job at a major hospital, a new Federal employee been hired for the desk. Still there as an Admin Assistant. In my earlier administrative professional career, I had these type of jobs that provided the learning that I know now. It was a time then when I did not have to be a leader. Actually, it is relief. Now, I share the gift of knowledge, confidence, and encouragement to the new Executive Assistant and myself. The shock and grief are one day at a time.
Thank you for this conversation! It echoes my thoughts and discussions about my life after being in quarantine for 15 months! I love that you say to keep it simple, to connect to your past with “happiness boosters!”
Margaret you look so lovely on camera today. Whatever foundation you have on really looks great on camera. Colour of lip is so pretty on you as well. 💯
Thank you so much
I want to return to being a Top Rated Seller on Ebay. A wonderful part of my life
Great video. The wonder of getting back to the old you with no constraints...fabulous. off to make a start .get to it ladies...x
Love to dance and travel I miss that specially dancing used to love as a teen now 62 miss dancing
I do a dance based exercise video from you tube every day. Find one that suits you and go for it. It's wonderful.
Thank you. I like to read too. Spiritual books and biographies.
Roller skating and dancing light me up, and I haven't done either in way too long. Thank you for encouraging me to look inward. Buying a pair of roller skates and dancing are easy things to do. ;-)
Sandra, not George, Margaret that pinky/red top looks phenomenal on you, what a great colour for you. Thoughtful video as usual.
Also gardening, making fairy gardens to sell in my shop, decorating, exploring, going to the sea or hiking in the woods with my dogs. Boating and riding horses.
I have getting bookstore read too. As well as doing jigsaw puzzles which I used to do as a child and with my Dad when he was old. I started a crochet project too. And I need to tune my piano and play again. Going for a horseback ride I did do at 52 13 years ago when I went to a horse ranch and passed the advanced riding test. I had not ridden for over a decade. Did not want to spend money on me. It was always for my daughters lessons in dance, piano, gymnastics, horseback riding camp, acting camp, violin lessons. I also like to listen to music and watch old movies.
I have always tried to keep some time for me, to do something that fills me up. I enjoy creative projects, fellowship at church and bible studies, lunch with friends, I used to do line dance. I still have an adult son at home with special needs, so will always have someone to care for somewhat. I would like to swim again someday I think. Grew up with a pool and wonder what it would feel like to try it again. I always wanted to learn ballroom dance, but that might not be right for me now. I would be very unhappy if I didn't pursue things I enjoy, at least a few short hours each week. When I was having more health problems I listened to lots of music. That helped so much. There are more things I would do if health and circumstances permitted, but I'll take what I can get. Thank you for these talks. 💖
I love eating out and trying new restaurants and cuisine. It is uncomfortable to go out alone, although I have done it. It is something that is more fun shared.
Hey Margaret! What a good video!! Love the questions to ask ourselves! Perfect place to start! I almost feel lost sometimes, not sure what to do or what I should be doing! Also, I can be an all or nothing kind of person, I need to take little small steps doing things I love! I loved the reference to just smelling my favorite flower or reading a short story to start. Thank you for this video, I really enjoyed it!!❤️❤️
No idea, but I wish I lived some place I could swim all year round.
You're so refreshing. Thank you!
I really enjoyed this video. Very thought provoking and just what I needed at this time. Thank you!
Really enjoyed this video, about to enter my sixth decade, I will be watching lots more in the coming days. My list for what am I interested in and long lost enjoyable hobbies is at present twenty three items long. Thankyou for the inspiration 😊
I used to love dancing as a young girl but my family said they would feel embarrassed if I started taking classes again. I turned 75 in May so maybe I’ll leave that dream for the next life 😔
What has it got to do with your family? Do they ask your permission to do what they want to do? I doubt it. Live your life lovely, let them live yours ❤️🙏
@@goslowyogawithlindapremana8162 thank you Linda for your kind and supportive comment x
Go for it, maybe try slow dances.
Go ahead and take some dancing classes or join some dance groups. I don't understand what your family would be embarrassed about?
Keep us updated about your dancing classes.
Hi Carol, dancing is a great way to boost our health as we get older. It helps keep our joints flexible. Apart from that it is an emotional boost. Go for it! Think of it as medicine for your body and mind. I am sure your family would not want you to deny yourself the opportunity to become healthier? Maybe you could explain it to them from that perspective.
this brought so many great ideas for me!!!!
I enjoy staying up late and sleeping in 😄
Wow i can so relate its time for me now rhankyou margaet love your videos gain so much from them you relate to me x
This is so true and useful
Reclaim, how do we take back our life? The mom sister parent care giver best friend. Who ever we have been, 2 everyone except ourselves. But it is a fact , we don't move forward until we make that declaration. As of today, stand up speak 2u. Must tell yourself. Self enough of this III and meme me cause it's ok, if not now then when. Only then can we make our forward plans. With that declaration comes clarity. We see the path 2 read write draw dance visit play the piano or just sit on your floor an play with your grand daughter doll. What ever it is reclaim your life, cause it's worth it. A special thank u 2 u magaret
Margaret this is an excellent video. So many questions to ask myself. Thank you so much for sharing and inspiring us to look within. ❤️ BTW you look lovely in red.
Hello Margaret. Thank you again for an excellent topic. There is a lot to think about here. You look absolutely beautiful. Watching you is always uplifting. 🌹🌹🌹
Excellent topic, know that we have evolved too, we’ve grown and developed new skills.
I wish you had a Podcast so I could listen to you continuously thru the day as I do tasks.
It is not easy to take that 1st step.
Great topic. I love reading as well!
I'd like to travel more but I'm on a budget. Any ideas for low budget travel?
I love you and your posts. Every time you make a RUclips video, it's like you are speaking to me directly. Sending you lots of love from NYC and beyond. Keep up the excellent work. My contribution to Patreon is the best investment I have made, it's way cheaper than my therapist. ❤️❤️❤️
So true.
Even senior ladies can restart and build something new for themselves,
with the advantage of experience and much more free time: ↕️
I don’t know who I am now that after 34 years I found myself single again. What shall I do now!
Miss Rose it's difficult to be alone after that long. I've been there too. I suggest you take a little time to regroup and not make any big decisions until you are ready. Connect with friends and family and take one day at a time. For me time really did heal old wounds and I am moving forward with things I like to do. Not every day is great but more good days than bad is a step in the right direction.
What have you always wanted to do but thought you could not because you were in a relationship. Being single opens up many possibilities to do what ever you want without anyone trying to stop you! Enjoy this new found freedom!
@@kathybates508 I don't agree with that Kathy. Some things do change for sure but many of our lives do go on as usual. Family ties, friends and interests are still there. People will come and go and many will enrich our our lives. I believe it is in our attitude about our situation that gets us through.
Deep breaths and Baby steps. That is a hard and shocking transition, but you most certainly can survive. I was widowed at 50 and my kids emptied the nest around the same time. I am blessed to have a great faith in God and His desire to give me direction. First thing I did was wrote one word on sheets of paper and hung them around the house. It was a word that said what I wanted for the rest of my life. It said SIMPLICITY! Also, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “Mary, you have a lot of living to do.” A day or so later, a friend-not knowing this-came over and said verbatim, “Mary, you have a lot of living to do.” It was confirmation. I did not know what (in detail) that meant, but by faith I just believed it and began to put one foot in front of the other. Little by little, after a year and a half, i met my now husband (of 20 years). It’s like I have lived a whole other life. Try to not to freak out. Just breath. PRAY! Ask God to direct you in the way HE would have you go.
My prayers going out to you.
@@Cindy-bee thank you so much! It is hard especially when I’m driving and then almost get an accident. I think of “who is going to take care of me” but then I will realize that God just save me!
My health is chronic I can't walk very far I'm going medicine but I wouldn't mind trying to ride a bike,but a walker turned to be my friend. my hips are shot my knees are shot but I said no surgery one day at a time, I like to travel maybe I'll feel my face go together camping these things like that but this world is unpredictable but yeah I'm going to take the plunge and fill the gas tank up and maybe drive to another state one day.Enjoy your evening 🙂
Hello I am new to your channel. It is great. Where did you get your stunning necklace?
I made it :-)
@@sixtyandme NICE!
🇮🇪👋x