No contact works! It’s been eight months of no contact. My ex didn’t come back, but I got myself back, which is better than my ex coming back. Thank you Coach Lee.
@@CuriousMind1000 she did. There was a coercion and told me she cheated but it turned out not. She thought she wasnt good enough for me and had to push me away. I gave her the break up, she suffered a lot but that was for the best. It wasn't easy but we decided to sort things out and started a healthy relationship. We both went to therapy sessions. She graduated, I got promoted in my job and supported each other. She also got scared when she saw my post hanging out with people she didn't know. Now we are just happy and celebrated our 6th year anniversary this August.
@@laoshimeiYour post gave me some hope. This sounds just like my situation except that she blocked me as well. I’m waiting on a promotion and hope she graduates but have no idea what’s going on with her. well. I hope we can get to where you and your ex got to and reconcile. I’m just not sure if she will gather the courage and get over her doubts and suspicions and approach me. It’s hard being in no contact but I’m staying the course.
@@jacobbaradaeus6250 She deleted me on all platforms. Then one day, she sent me a message asking her password on her playstation account(I was really sad when she did coz I thought, that was the last account that we had connection). Then, she started opening up with me. So, I just talked to her in a civilized manner then she told me, she is fixing herself. Hope you and your love one can reconcile. But just make sure you improve yourself as well.
After 2.5 months of separation, I am pretty much healed and happy it’s the way it is. She didn’t make me happy. It was the feeling she gave me. Coach Lee, you were a big part of my healing and the voice of reason when I felt like dying. Now I am BACK! Still love watching these videos!
I simply gave up and decided it’s not worth my time to hope and think someone is gonna come back. I am so much better off now without him. He only brought me down.
Same here...separated 4 months, got sober and started therapy to work on the parts of me that contributed to our relationship failing. She just moved out, got an apartment, and seems to just be trying to relive her 20s (we're both mid-40s). I still love her and we're friends, but I'm growing and she's not. I can feel grateful again, respect myself again, and am closer than ever with our daughter. It was a wakeup call for sure, and life is getting better every day.
@rfell863 it's true, but has definitely been hard losing my companion of 15 years...but there's a distinct difference between having a companion and having a partner.
No contact does work! Going no contact is def scary, but patience is key. Coach Lee & Coach Ken are the best. I never did book a session. But I have watched so many videos and it's helped my anxiety. My ex and I are back together, attending counseling. She had a confession while we were apart. She told me she would call my work just to hear me answer and then hang up. I said why didn't your number show up? She blocked her number for those calls. I was shocked! So when you think no contact isn't working! That is when it is probably working the most! Trust the process!
@@CuriousMind1000 Anxious Avoidant couple! Classic push pull dynamic! She finally realized after breaking up and getting back together so many times that there is something neither one of us wanted to give up on! But it honestly has to take both wanting it badly!
@@CuriousMind1000 I hate to admit this! But yes, for me it was just a band aid to try and get her out of my head! I mean it wasn't immediately! She went out on a few dates as well! And yes it got under neath my skin! But we both needed that to realize how good our chemistry is together that can't be matched! Some might say it's toxic? But in todays realm, it is very hard to find true substance! I know when I was around other women, it was not the same!
Coach Lee was 100% right. Had a fight 4 weeks ago. Implemented No Contact and today received a text. we're meeting tomorrow. Works! Thank you Coach Lee 👍
@@John-sz6mc I don't think coach lee meant run back to him on first contact. I dont believe we'll need an update on this. The tone is set. We got a runner and a silent chaser waiting to pounce at the first invitation. Get some self respect and self worth and that will help you more than the runner ever will. He will, no doubt, run again. Because he can, and you made it easy, for him to come back. Setting up for an almighty heartbreak.
I used to watch your videos during my break up in 2021. I was at the stage where no contact was the best thing for me and moving on. But, my ex ended up realizing that after a few months apart that he still wanted to try. I also realized that I still wanted to try after being good with moving on from that chapter. We just moved into our second home together, have two dogs, and had a belated honeymoon. Sometimes people shouldn’t get back together, but I always knew we would find our way back. I watched all your videos and want to thank you for all the advice you had on RUclips!!!
NC day 12 😮💨 I don’t know if I should give up hope! The breakup was messy and she blocked me everywhere! I genuinely felt a connection and was willing to work on myself, for myself and our relationship. Fighting the temptations, memories and idealizing thoughts. I miss her.
Keep on watching Coach Lee. I was where you're at back in January 2024. It'll get better for you. Don't contact them. You'll be abandoning your self-worth.
1+ year nc.Everything is fresh for you. You are pretty much in disbelief and shocked. Make sure to process the breakup and grieve in time. Focus on improving yourself for you. Not for her. 💯
It gets easier. If you beg and chase they will think you're weak and that's not attractive. Go radio silent, they aren't expecting you to and they are the ones that will be in shock if they did the dumping. Day 90 is a sweet spot but by then you will feel much better. Depends on the connection it has to be both ways.
He blocked me on everything the first time and I blocked him back right away on everything. 2 weeks later he unblocked on his own. They usually unblock eventually. Be patient and believe they will. Just make sure they are not highly narcissistic. You don't want back abusers.
50 days of NC! I don’t think she’s coming back! I don’t need her! Hopefully someday I will find someone who will stay with me and not leaving me like that!
@@-taylor-9980 yeah I don’t want to get in to a relationship now. I am working on myself. The reason I am saying she is not coming back because she filed for divorce. So there’s no chance we are getting back together. I have tried my best to work things out. She was the one left.
Im at 50 days right now. She just keep posting sad/depressive/breakup/love lyrics on ig. And yesterday she posted à "white flag" which means the acceptance of a situation and the end of putting effort in to. Should I reach out
I don't care what my ex thinks, becouse if she thinks, she never gonna dump me. So, I don't care will she contact me, or not. I'm on NC for a 25 days and my love, affection for her, are fade. She's with another, and why should I suffer, my time will come, and she will regret for all things she do behind my back. Karma will get satisfaction ☺️ Thx coach Lee!! 🥂
We have kids so there is no, no contact, but I have implemented boundaries, and It has been 8 months since she left for greener pastures. I told her we will not spend Thanksgiving or Christmas together for the message it sends our kids. I am not a plug and play photo op, or Instant family for a day. Stay strong guys, you can get through this. I was married for 25 years.
Always look forward to your latest video- have became a fan of your channel these last 7 weeks while estranged from my wife - Paul (Lincolnshire England)👌
Wanted to circle back around… I found your vibes about 10 months ago after my ex broke up with me out of the blue. She contact me about want 2 weeks ago wanting to ask some questions that would benefit her. I’ve heeled and don’t even want to open up that door anymore. I appreciate your videos! Sht helped be a whoollleee lot lol. 💪🏽💪🏽
NC for almost a month now. I do feel a little better, but the longer of NC the stronger I feel she is the one i truly want and the more dedicated i am. Ive bettered myself so much in the past month. She was always the person to give me the last push i needed to make certain decisions, looks like she did it again
We tried the casual friend texts and I told her I wasn't interested in that so she's blew up and said she needs time. I heard her loud and clear I will give her all the time she wants but I'm not waiting for her to see my worth
@coachlee can you please do a video on monkey branching? It is a common thing that is done today, and has a distinct pattern of behaviors. I see you have done videos on rebounds but monkey branching is a another level, it is emotional cheating at best, but usually almost always physical cheating as well. They will keep up some communication and seeing you, and saying they love you etc, yet they distance themselves from you emotionally and physically, and slowly build the relationship with the new partner, then they out of nowhere blindside and discard you when you thought they were just in a mood lately or dealing with extra workload and family stuff, when they were actually talking to and seeing the new partner. They are extra cold and almost a stranger at this point since they are in limerence with the new person. Would like your analysis and take on it, and if they come back what to do. What are the stages of the relationship and how long will last, and since they got to limerence with them, it’s unlikely it will fizzle so quickly, but I assume similar to a rebound with limerence.
4 months into the separation after a six year relationship, I begged and pleaded the first 2 months. Went into no contact and now I'm feeling better day by day, still hopeful she'll one day return but nc has made me move on one day at a time. Please listen to Coach Lee!
@@CuriousMind1000 she broke up with me, at first she gave the usual excuse that she wanted to be alone and better herself but eventually she told the truth and said her love for me faded.
@@jrodirizarry after 5 years together she has left me for someone else lol don't think NC or any shit like that will work I don't even want her back anymore but I still love her and there is some pointless hope inside me 🤷🏻
@@CuriousMind1000 It definitely works for us to move on, hope lasts for years but eventually that fades as well. Love is an interesting thing, I had an ex before this last relationship that called me recently to tell me she still loves me and wants to get back with me after literally ten years apart. Told her we can stay in touch but I don't feel what I did for her anymore. It's ironic how life works you can never be sure what to expect.
Thank you. I thought it was really good as far as the information goes but it's not doing well compared to others. It's difficult to know which videos will do well.
Your videos were life saving during initial days of breakup......plz make videos on how to develop inner strength..how to detach...how to develop confidence,,,how to deal with loneliness,, emotional regulation etc . You can not predict anybody 's mind.people do what they do.
It's better to reach out after a month or so in my experience if you want to fix things.. I once waited 5 months thinking it would've been better and by then there was a new woman in the picture and he was not willing to work on things. Spoke about us like we were a distant memory. Truth is they may think of you from time to time while you're silent but not like this, they just move on and you lose them forever because someone else has taken your place.
It's not your job to fix what they broke. You can express that you don't want the breakup but if they continue with it then they need to reach out. If you reach out, there will always be a part of them that knows you'll clean up their mess. If they decide to move on then it simply wasn't meant to be. So you did the right thing even if it didn't lead to the outcome you wanted. I can guarantee that if you had contacted them after 30 days, you would not get a good reaction from them. I tried the "30 day NC rule" on 1 ex and it just pushed them further away.
I miss my ex still. We were together for 11 and half years and it's only been three weeks. I've made peace with the fact we may never get back together but it sucks.
I feel for you buddy....11 years for me....we laughed...we loved....no fighting no arguments no hurling insults....we had the best time....and created some great memories.....she went from...."...I love you so much....I've never been so happy....I'm so happy with where we are in our relationship....."....to....."....I can't do this anymore.....".....I believe it was PMDD.....and she's also a Dismissive Avoidant.....terrible combination....
Hang in there brother. It was the same for me. 11 and a half years. Still miss her. I'm pretty sure your ex will reach out. Just don't give in to your temptation. Follow coach Lee blindly!
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for her, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
10 days NC. I really don’t believe they’re coming back, and I’m ok with it. Yes I’m hurt and yes it sucks soooo bad. But I want someone who is going to choose me and not try to walk away for the 4th time. They also have me a literal inane excuse for the breakup. So insane that I’m started to wonder if they’re a narcissist 🙃
It's been 3 days for me. My boyfriend broke up with me & I'm so heartbroken. I am crying alot. I feel like he doesn't even care. He hasn't reached out to see if I'm okay. I hate feeling like this so much!😭💔
If u had a good relationship and u are both sincere good people, i can assure u ur ex is in pain as well. Most men doesnt show their emotions, and in the beginning especially they might look like it was an easy thing for them. The breakup its gonna hit him after a while, usually when the woman is already in a better position emotionally
@@igchannel2174 I appreciate your words. I definitely agree with you about that. I think what hurts so much is how perfect everything was in the beginning. Then it all changed. That's what hurts my heart.💔
Almost 15 months of no contact…yes, I’ve done a lot of healing. No, he hasn’t reached out yet at all. Yes, we had a good relationship…no fighting or ill-spoken words. The last time we spoke he was dating someone new. Yes I still think about him and want to reconnect. I know what we had together. I know he knows it too. I’ve tried dating others. I’m still trying. It’s true that you can never replace what you meant to each other. I still love him. And I’m still hopeful after all this time. The heart wants what it wants.
I've watched a lot of coach lee’s videos and her say. If you want them back you say no to the friend zone. They are trying to ease their pain by friend-zoning you. Don't do it. No contact all the way.
If u still have romantic feelings toward him/her, then do not be friends, because it might get horrible in the end, and it keeps u in a limbo of "what if?", and that might also sabotage ur future relationship. But if ur feelings are becoming more neutral and u feel like nothing can hurt u anymore and u still appreciate her/him as a friend, then go for it.
Mine asked me to be friends. I didn't not reply on that. Now, I have been in 3 months no contact. For your mental health, it is probably not a good idea to accept friendship if you can't accept her dating other guys.
Currently on 9 weeks of no contact. Feels pretty good, healing one day at a time. She's texted me three times since we ended things. She asked how I was doing the day after and the following day. The third text was saying she was surprised I blocked her on social and she was sending my stuff back. I just want to be left alone
Perhaps you did nothing wrong, why should it be that? Perhaps he doesn't know what to say, why his feelings changed. Feelings are not always clear to describe, Perhaps he has no idea why they changed. And would he tell the truth? Or waffle on about sth that makes you feel better, or him look better, or him feel less guilty? Does it matter? He walked away. Focus on that
Every day of NC and I inch closer to moving on. I stopped counting but Im probably around 45 days. Im realizing that I made many mistakes during our 3 year relationship and need to work on myself AND she made many mistakes and I firmly believe is presenting a narrative that shes the victim in all this which is delaying her reaching out. But she keeps viewing my stories almost immediately. She also posts sad stories to her close friends list right after viewing my stories (presumably targeted at me in response) and then deletes them after an hour. Its really odd behavior likely to get me to break NC. But i will hold firm and focus on improving myself and realizing my value. Im not even sure if i want her back anymore and i dont think she realizes that her behavior is now pushing me away! In other words, I can feel the tables turning as I continue to gain strength and she realizes her life isn't better without me. Not sure if she will reach out but Im beginning to accept whatever happens
MAJOR QUESTION... What about if we have a child together? As much as I wanna disappear and not speak to her at all I can't because my daughter is in the picture i have to see her
What if it was a bad break up? And her mother said hurtful things to me and I said somethings back. Which led to my ex filing an DVRO against me? Do these stages still apply?
Was with my girlfriend for 7 years, broke up about 6 weeks ago due to her mental health and wanting to work on herself. I have had a hard time with it but am making improvements in my life. When she broke up with me she mentioned she does hope that we cross paths eventually but she can’t commit to this right now. Spoke to her dad the other day and apparently she can’t commit to anything at all now and wants to focus on her last year of school. Idk how to take it as I do want her back so badly
What if they say ‘dont contact me again’ ‘i hate u’ would NC work still? this would be a round 2 (nc) first round, so she said she didnt want to see me anymore, I didnt fight it and agreed. 5 days later she reached out. This time, she said that she hated me and dont contact her again. I think that she wrote that in extreme anger, and that she will cool off and come back again. no contact would work again? pls coach and anyone have any advice, pls share thx
Please give them the breakup. For your sake, don't contact them. They have expressed that they don't want to be with you anymore. I had the same situation. My ex wrote me a letter saying we needed to get over each other. Mind you, he did that two months into me not having any contact with him. It's been eight months; I promise things will improve without them. You are going to grow, heal, and learn how to live without them. Anyhow, I saw my story in what’s happening to you I hope this helps. You're going to be alright. All you have to do is no contact. I swear that the day will come when you get her back, or you won't want her back.
Are there no contact rules when you have children? I speak to my children every night and have been playing games together on the phone quite a bit last week with my son. We looked like we'd be together, 2 weeks later distant, another 2 weeks she asked for divorce, a week later new bf moved in. She blamed not trusting me for a past problem I am addressing with therapy but after she moved she was very loving. Thank you
Imo ,I believe they reach the stages where they want to reach out alot sooner than you think. Humans just have extreme pride. It's a big issue in my family
I'm not convinced with no contact it can have different effects on people. My ex is in a rebound and regularly calls and texts as we get on. Initially at the start I didn't contact her at all and she reached out after 3 weeks. I made no attempt to get her back or change her mind. I'm at the point now where it's OK if she doesn't come back. Additionally I believe I have the humour to bring her back from the rebound if I wanted. It gives me a degree of control which is far better than completely starving both of you of any communication. I don't find that healthy at all, but please remember you have to be comfortable that they are with another person. Additionally the aim is that when and if they want to return. Say no
My breakup was abrupt, she accused me of a heinous thing, and I panicked. She blocked me on everything and I tried my hardest to try and reach out. Everything was perfect before then we were saying we are meant for each other and talking about living forever together with each other. I sent her a message through someone else’s phone saying how she’s wrong and I need at least a chance to explain myself. She’s acting like she has evidence of me doing this. So she is standing strong in her feelings about this. I told her I wouldn’t contact her anymore and give her the space she wants. But I tried so hard for that week to attempt to defend myself. Will no contact work with my situation?
Same here, she's told me she doesn't love me anymore and less stressed. She's not telling me anything related to our son. She's suddenly not asking me if I'm dating anyone or seeing someone all of sudden.
1 1/2 months into blindside breakup, and was about 2 weeks into NC but found her back on the dating app we met on and called her out on it and said my peace...got complete silence and she blocked me on the app and probably my number too...funny enough looks like she deleted her account on the app, but im guess she just moved to a different app
58 days of NC. I ended things with him because he wasn’t putting in effort, making time for me, and ghosted me 3 times. I got fed up. I feel good about my decision to walk away because I don’t believe he will ever really appreciate me. I put myself first and love myself more than I could ever love him. ❤
She dumped me and offered to be friends. I said I don’t want friendship. She then asked if I wanted to go no contact then. I said she was welcome to contact me if she had a specific reason or if she changed her mind, but that I probably wouldn’t contact her. Did I mess up by telling her that??? And if so now what? Please help I am freaking out
No you didn't mess up. You said the right thing and you are now expecting her decision and showing strength. Telling her you probably won't contact her shows that you are mature and won't try to insert yourself in her life when she doesn't want you. And you also let her know she can contact you if she changes her mind. I dont think theres anything wrong with saying that. You communicated clearly and now you just need to stay strong and stick to NC
@@JoMama123451234 what concerns me is that I’m afraid she’ll be too scared to have the whole “test the waters/casual reach out” phase. I’m afraid she thinks she has to be 100% sure or I’ll be mad she’s reached out
It's obvious you are still in love or probably you are the cause of the break up. If you are, it's advisable you apologies and mend things but if not, having them back to your life it would be disastrous! An ex that can dump you for frivolous reasons and still waiting for you to clean their mess is not worthy to wait for. They might be narcissist!
My ex girlfriend broke up because of 3rd party she had someone behind my back lineup until she took her decision to break up , my question is how can she find someone to replace a good 8 years relationship?
@jaydub7386 every one it telling me the same . But the most surprising is last year we took a break witch i didn't know about the new supply ,and she came back and this year she left again
Idk if my case is any special but around the end of July, she broke up with me but changed her mind in couple days (5 days maybe) after I did no contact without knowing this technique. She specifically admitted that she hated not receiving my messages or sending me some messages. She then asked to reconcile but she wanted to go slowly. I messed it up by being too needy (again, I didn't know this type of contents, back then). Now, it's been 18 days of no contact. Is there still a chance or is it doomed, this time?
He called me names , fought with me after he cried his eyes out , shouted and cursed me for the most part after he knew i went to have closer from my ex he actually never promised me marriage and never discussed it i don’t get why he was that angry for when he didn’t even made himself ready for the so called “relationship “ lol . The relationship was “solid” for one year but i’m not sure really if it will be objective for the NC . He also lied about a communication he had with a girl he was deleting the messages for
What if she's pregnant with our child? 16 weeks along. She hit me with the I love you I'm not in love with you line. We've had a GREAT relationship. Year in a half. So many great memories. Solid communication. We've talked every single day. Slowly but surely things has just felt apart.. Coach Lee. You've always helped bring my anxiety down and give me some sense of hope and direction. Thank you. I'm just in denial right now and have had trouble accepting what she wants to do. Triggers like these make me feel like there could be someone else 🤷 can't get outa my own head.
As she’s pregnant you need to keep some form of communication. I don’t want to use it in this situation but a familiar saying is be careful otherwise it will get chucked back in your face if you reduce contact. I don’t think this is something you can/should do a no contact
@jomcdowell1352 Exactly why I commented. Need further advice. I have a really hard time controlling my emotions with someone I love. She's dead set on doing this apart. She can't stand me. The moment I bring up what life will be like with the baby involved she's dead set on raising it single/ co parents. Haven't done anything wrong to deserve this type of mental abuse. I know it's hormones, has to be. It's just hard right now to stay positive and out of my head. I don't want to contact cause all it does it make me feel like shit.
@@dmills0991 I think one of the things you may need to focus on is your emotions. If you do that it will change how you behave and think. This could possibly explain why she’s behaving in this way when you mention how the baby will be raised. If she can see a change in your behaviour, that could possibly make a difference.
I n is it’s a long shot but I was hoping to get a little bit of an answer from someone because I’m lost on what to do my ex broke up with me a week ago and I texted her once a day for the first three days asking if we could talk and after the third day I started no contact and she acts like I do t exist anymore because we work I. The same building and she’s blocked me on a few social medias but not all of them and I’m going to stay strong with no contact but I wanna k ow if I’ve already messed things up beyond repair
I know this is a long shot but I was hoping to get a little bit of an answer from someone because I’m lost on what to do my ex broke up with me a week ago and I texted her once a day for the first three days asking if we could talk and after the third day I started no contact and she acts like I don’t we work in the same building and she ignores me I want to stay strong with no contact and she’s blocked me on a few social medias but not all I was just wondering if there was anything I could do or if it’s beyond repair
Hi, I’m in no contact for just over 4 weeks and I know it’s super hard to deal with. We were together over 8 1/2 years and there are days I feel hopeless but after watching about 50 of coach Lee’s videos I am hoping I can stick to it. I feel a whole range of emotions. Some days I feel strong and hopeful and other days lost and depressed. But I truly believe in what he is saying because I DO feel stronger today than I did 4 weeks ago. What you said your ex is doing sounds a lot like what coach Lee says it “normal” or the pattern of behaviors the exes go through. Maybe your ex blocked you as part of baiting you to get in contact but i would not fall for it. As he says “Do not accept crumbs from their table”. Don’t react until they actually contact you. It will be worth it in the end.
Also, I may be wrong but from what I feel like coach Lee would tell us is that since you work in the same building that you don’t have to go out of your way to ignore her or be rude, but do not speak to her unless it is necessary for work. If and when it is necessary, then you just be polite and stick to work topics. It will throw her off her game wondering why you didn’t try to talk about the relationship. Let her feel that doubt and confusion for a while.
What if i broke up with him because he cheated and lied that he wanted marriage but never really moved towards “marriage” he was just telling me that to pursue a fake connection to take my time, energy qnd sex
She came back after 66 days of no contact saying hi how are you.. but I acted like I was waiting of her so she breadcrumb me I'm in no contact again and I don't know if it will work again?!
I need help from all of you Me and him had broke up for a month at first he told me that he had lost feeling for me ( we are in long distances relationship ) and 1 week later I found him that he have cheated on me during the time we are still together now I am in no contact situation to him for month. ( the girl he is with living in the same city as him )
Does no contact work in case of divorce…I saw it won’t work in case of divorce.. so after 3 months of no contact I reached 2 days back saying if we if there is any chance of getting back together and I didn’t get any response and he blocked me the next day
This might be a little too early to judge but after 4 weeks of no contact I don’t think she goes through any of these points. She is already back on dating apps. 2 months ago she told me she is in love with me …
@@Philipp_Gonzalesforget about her. The last breakup I had I also saw her on dating apps within a month. I know you love her very much. The fact that you are okay with her going on dating apps and still waiting for her. You know what happens on dating apps right. Move on my friend. Believe me. You should do it by now. Hope you are doing well.
Going on a year NC works for you not them. Like he said give them the breakup. Boom! They won't come back on their own and they live on their words and actions.
What if you’re getting divorced (husband wants)but your husband still talks to you like a friend? You go out and talk for hours and you still have sex. What is he thinking? Does he still love me?
Together 9 years. Lived together. Engaged for 6 or 7 years. Wa sno rush. I ma 59, she is 55. Lived together in her house. She decided she didn't want to be engaged, or in a relationship. I moved out, she sold the house (it was her house).... We've been apart 9 months now...I haven't done no contact (trying)... I still have hope she will change her mind and we will get back together. There was no cheating or infidelity. Am I stupid for holding out hope?!
No we have messed up before in the beginning. U have to stop contacting her like now. If u want it to wrk. We all have messed up before it’s expected. If u start no contact now things are gonna get better. It’s gonna hurt but it gets better. Let them have the break up. If there was real love she will remember and miss u after a while bro. Let them miss u
My ex left for another man. But wants to be best friends. Told me She will be there. She told me they haven't been intimate yet. It's been 3 weeks NC. Is there hope?
@Suarez-d7f agree let the trash stay outside I slept with my ex after she already slept with someone else she lied I found out and called her a pos and a. Scum bag women will lie to your face can't trust 95 % of them she will lie with a smile /evil
We broke up 3 weeks ago and besides on reach out (no begging and pleading) I went straight to no contact after that. So it has been 2 weeks of no contact and she texted me today a few hours ago to return her a book. I said I would go out later so I could give it to her. I went by her place well dressed and smiling and gave her her book back. We talked for like 1 minute and while she was "smiling" she was eager to leave. I just asked how she was nothing more I kept it very formal. Now I'm going back to know contact but got really hurt. The book was quite insignificant without a sentimental value to her so was it that important? She didn't seem to care to chat oh well...:(😢😢
Girlfriend of 3.5 years ended things via text. Didn’t want to meet in person to talk it out. Said issues were we lost the spark - which i said is a workable situation?. 2 months of no contact. Still miss her. Is she a DA or a FA? Seems to be posting more and going out showing she’s having a good time which breaks me tbh.
She’s trynna make u hurt and reach out. That stuff she’s doing is fake bro. She’s not happy she trynna make u play her game. But u got a new game….. do no contact. And stop looking at her stories bro. She knows u looking she likes that. Stop going on her stories and social media. Go A wall flip the script. Wrk on u she’ll be back. And don’t be so quick to take her back. Make her wrk for it. Don’t be angry when u guys do tlk ok? And don’t try to make her jealous either
My ex dumped me via message, refused to see and talk to me as said it’s too hard. Even too this day it’s the same. I told him you’re a coward and have no guts. We was messaging afterwards but it took me over just over 3mths for me to think what’s the matter with me I’m chasing you. Many times I’ve been told never chase a man let him chase you. Some of the communication from my side has eased off. One of my first changes is I no longer react or comment on he’s facebook posts. Let’s just see if he decides to contact me again in the future 🤔
Its been day 5 of no contact. I have started to feel more calm about the breakup and ive started to eat again. Ive been waching and listening to these type of videos because they are the only things (besides being in nature) that has been helping me with enxiety. If u comment here, future online friends, i will try to update my progess💪
Right there with you, exactky a week for me and support for me is sport, being around people and these videos. I know I was brilliant with her, and she is consumed with guilt about her divorce, lack of time, and it's got difficult and legal for her. I reassured her anytime is good time but she never replied after saying about I deserve more last week. I wont beg.and this is so tough but I've been a rock and she won't miss it if I pursue. God be with you, stay strong x
Coach Lee, can you please do a video on monkey branching? So many people don't know how common this is & it's awful on the dumped. People really need to understand what it is. I think you're the BEST person to explain this. ❤
From dumpers perspective, NC will not work if you neglected them, took them for granted, broke up with you three times, you promised you'd change. Dumpers get numb, advise from their therapist not to go back, and friends that tell dumpers there's more fish in the sea. Do no contact for yourself, don't wait.
This may be true. But I know I spent 2 weeks post breakup trying to convince her that I want to work through things together and improve and apologizing for not listening to her. In the end, she still said no to being together. Even if you neglected them, you can't convince them once they break up with you other than apologizing and expressing a desire to improve and fix things
I hurt her emotionally unintentionally,,, family pressure and career pressure got the best of me and i lashed out on her,,, will NC work,, i already apologize and begged for a week,,
Another tip: never get too angry with a woman. If she fears for her safety she’s a goner. And the fact that you begged for a week after shows her that you have little self control and low self esteem. A confident man wouldn’t chase or beg but would politely hold the door open for anyone who desires to leave.
@@ClaytonColey-z5i so there's no chance,,, what I meant by begging was me apologizing for hurting her and assuring her that it won't happen like that again,,, there were ups and downs but not like this,, this was the one time i lost control
@@dingguite2014 it depends. But if she tries to break up and you showed that you don’t want her to leave then she’s gonna look at it like you can’t do better
@@jackjames5694bad advice, coach Lee suggests reply casually in these cases and match the energy, but if he does it too often, remind him of the breakup he had chosen. i've watched all the videos on the channel so I'm literally becoming a relationship coach lol
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Missing Everything [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dTYeMZGzOzw/mqdefault.jpg)
No contact works! It’s been eight months of no contact. My ex didn’t come back, but I got myself back, which is better than my ex coming back. Thank you Coach Lee.
Congrats! 😊
100% the main goal of it. That’s amazing; you’re going to be so awesome for your next relationship.
@@jaydub7386 was that your original intention?
4 months of no contact, worked for us and we're back together. It's been two years and we are going stronger. Thanks coach, Lee.
What was the reason you broke up? Did you or your ex date someone else while ur was apart?
@@CuriousMind1000 she did. There was a coercion and told me she cheated but it turned out not. She thought she wasnt good enough for me and had to push me away. I gave her the break up, she suffered a lot but that was for the best. It wasn't easy but we decided to sort things out and started a healthy relationship. We both went to therapy sessions. She graduated, I got promoted in my job and supported each other. She also got scared when she saw my post hanging out with people she didn't know.
Now we are just happy and celebrated our 6th year anniversary this August.
@@laoshimeiYour post gave me some hope. This sounds just like my situation except that she blocked me as well. I’m waiting on a promotion and hope she graduates but have no idea what’s going on with her. well. I hope we can get to where you and your ex got to and reconcile. I’m just not sure if she will gather the courage and get over her doubts and suspicions and approach me. It’s hard being in no contact but I’m staying the course.
@@jacobbaradaeus6250 She deleted me on all platforms. Then one day, she sent me a message asking her password on her playstation account(I was really sad when she did coz I thought, that was the last account that we had connection). Then, she started opening up with me. So, I just talked to her in a civilized manner then she told me, she is fixing herself. Hope you and your love one can reconcile. But just make sure you improve yourself as well.
After 2.5 months of separation, I am pretty much healed and happy it’s the way it is. She didn’t make me happy. It was the feeling she gave me. Coach Lee, you were a big part of my healing and the voice of reason when I felt like dying. Now I am BACK! Still love watching these videos!
I simply gave up and decided it’s not worth my time to hope and think someone is gonna come back. I am so much better off now without him. He only brought me down.
Same here...separated 4 months, got sober and started therapy to work on the parts of me that contributed to our relationship failing. She just moved out, got an apartment, and seems to just be trying to relive her 20s (we're both mid-40s). I still love her and we're friends, but I'm growing and she's not. I can feel grateful again, respect myself again, and am closer than ever with our daughter. It was a wakeup call for sure, and life is getting better every day.
@@BlueRidgeJ79 sometimes, u just gotta let people go!!
@rfell863 it's true, but has definitely been hard losing my companion of 15 years...but there's a distinct difference between having a companion and having a partner.
@@BlueRidgeJ79 hell yes it’s hard!! I get it, believe me.
No contact does work! Going no contact is def scary, but patience is key. Coach Lee & Coach Ken are the best. I never did book a session. But I have watched so many videos and it's helped my anxiety. My ex and I are back together, attending counseling. She had a confession while we were apart. She told me she would call my work just to hear me answer and then hang up. I said why didn't your number show up? She blocked her number for those calls. I was shocked! So when you think no contact isn't working! That is when it is probably working the most! Trust the process!
How long does it take?
What was the reason you broke up , did you or your ex dated someone else while u wasn't together?
@@CuriousMind1000 Anxious Avoidant couple! Classic push pull dynamic! She finally realized after breaking up and getting back together so many times that there is something neither one of us wanted to give up on! But it honestly has to take both wanting it badly!
@@TimStJohn-xp8rv but none of you guys dated someone else during the break up right?
@@CuriousMind1000 I hate to admit this! But yes, for me it was just a band aid to try and get her out of my head! I mean it wasn't immediately! She went out on a few dates as well! And yes it got under neath my skin! But we both needed that to realize how good our chemistry is together that can't be matched! Some might say it's toxic? But in todays realm, it is very hard to find true substance! I know when I was around other women, it was not the same!
5 months of nc and i'm doing better. I decided not to fix what i had not broken! Self worth and dignity✌
100%
Coach Lee was 100% right. Had a fight 4 weeks ago. Implemented No Contact and today received a text. we're meeting tomorrow. Works! Thank you Coach Lee 👍
Update?
@@John-sz6mc I don't think coach lee meant run back to him on first contact. I dont believe we'll need an update on this. The tone is set. We got a runner and a silent chaser waiting to pounce at the first invitation. Get some self respect and self worth and that will help you more than the runner ever will. He will, no doubt, run again. Because he can, and you made it easy, for him to come back. Setting up for an almighty heartbreak.
I used to watch your videos during my break up in 2021. I was at the stage where no contact was the best thing for me and moving on. But, my ex ended up realizing that after a few months apart that he still wanted to try. I also realized that I still wanted to try after being good with moving on from that chapter.
We just moved into our second home together, have two dogs, and had a belated honeymoon. Sometimes people shouldn’t get back together, but I always knew we would find our way back. I watched all your videos and want to thank you for all the advice you had on RUclips!!!
Month 4 of no contact. Didn't think I would make it, but here we are😊
Amazing! Get stronger and keep growing, that’s the most
Important part of NC :)
Good stuff man im still fresh but been doing what I have to
@@mustafamas2237 you’re gonna be great
NC day 12 😮💨 I don’t know if I should give up hope! The breakup was messy and she blocked me everywhere! I genuinely felt a connection and was willing to work on myself, for myself and our relationship. Fighting the temptations, memories and idealizing thoughts. I miss her.
Keep on watching Coach Lee. I was where you're at back in January 2024. It'll get better for you. Don't contact them. You'll be abandoning your self-worth.
1+ year nc.Everything is fresh for you. You are pretty much in disbelief and shocked. Make sure to process the breakup and grieve in time. Focus on improving yourself for you. Not for her. 💯
It gets easier. If you beg and chase they will think you're weak and that's not attractive. Go radio silent, they aren't expecting you to and they are the ones that will be in shock if they did the dumping. Day 90 is a sweet spot but by then you will feel much better. Depends on the connection it has to be both ways.
if you ever want to be healed, never come back to this relationship back again....simple as that
He blocked me on everything the first time and I blocked him back right away on everything. 2 weeks later he unblocked on his own. They usually unblock eventually. Be patient and believe they will. Just make sure they are not highly narcissistic. You don't want back abusers.
50 days of NC! I don’t think she’s coming back! I don’t need her! Hopefully someday I will find someone who will stay with me and not leaving me like that!
50 days aren't enough yet
50 days is very soon. 90 days is a sweet spot.
@@-taylor-9980 yeah I don’t want to get in to a relationship now. I am working on myself. The reason I am saying she is not coming back because she filed for divorce. So there’s no chance we are getting back together. I have tried my best to work things out. She was the one left.
Im at 50 days right now. She just keep posting sad/depressive/breakup/love lyrics on ig. And yesterday she posted à "white flag" which means the acceptance of a situation and the end of putting effort in to. Should I reach out
@@Hyper0100 don't, she has mouth and hands to write .. they are breadcrumbs
I don't care what my ex thinks, becouse if she thinks, she never gonna dump me. So, I don't care will she contact me, or not. I'm on NC for a 25 days and my love, affection for her, are fade.
She's with another, and why should I suffer, my time will come, and she will regret for all things she do behind my back.
Karma will get satisfaction ☺️
Thx coach Lee!! 🥂
Desperatly waitting for this video Sir❤
We have kids so there is no, no contact, but I have implemented boundaries, and It has been 8 months since she left for greener pastures. I told her we will not spend Thanksgiving or Christmas together for the message it sends our kids. I am not a plug and play photo op, or Instant family for a day. Stay strong guys, you can get through this. I was married for 25 years.
Always look forward to your latest video- have became a fan of your channel these last 7 weeks while estranged from my wife - Paul (Lincolnshire England)👌
Wanted to circle back around…
I found your vibes about 10 months ago after my ex broke up with me out of the blue.
She contact me about want 2 weeks ago wanting to ask some questions that would benefit her.
I’ve heeled and don’t even want to open up that door anymore.
I appreciate your videos! Sht helped be a whoollleee lot lol. 💪🏽💪🏽
NC for almost a month now. I do feel a little better, but the longer of NC the stronger I feel she is the one i truly want and the more dedicated i am. Ive bettered myself so much in the past month. She was always the person to give me the last push i needed to make certain decisions, looks like she did it again
Just love investing in myself
Its been several months and I dont want her back.
We tried the casual friend texts and I told her I wasn't interested in that so she's blew up and said she needs time. I heard her loud and clear I will give her all the time she wants but I'm not waiting for her to see my worth
Bad ass.
@@RealCoachLee I've watched almost every video you made, thank you thank you its like having a good decision maker with me 24 hours a day
These comments are so depressing…Why did she leave me?! I’m such a solid guy!
If you over pursued or went at a faster pace than she did, maybe became a bit needy/insecure/smothering/weak.. all reasons a girl tends to back off :)
Thank you Coach Lee! Of all the Coach's, you and Coach Ken make the most sense. Very simplified and true statements! Thank you Sir!
@coachlee can you please do a video on monkey branching? It is a common thing that is done today, and has a distinct pattern of behaviors. I see you have done videos on rebounds but monkey branching is a another level, it is emotional cheating at best, but usually almost always physical cheating as well. They will keep up some communication and seeing you, and saying they love you etc, yet they distance themselves from you emotionally and physically, and slowly build the relationship with the new partner, then they out of nowhere blindside and discard you when you thought they were just in a mood lately or dealing with extra workload and family stuff, when they were actually talking to and seeing the new partner. They are extra cold and almost a stranger at this point since they are in limerence with the new person. Would like your analysis and take on it, and if they come back what to do. What are the stages of the relationship and how long will last, and since they got to limerence with them, it’s unlikely it will fizzle so quickly, but I assume similar to a rebound with limerence.
Back here after two years, my big bro. You saved me once, didnt forget. 😂
4 months into the separation after a six year relationship, I begged and pleaded the first 2 months. Went into no contact and now I'm feeling better day by day, still hopeful she'll one day return but nc has made me move on one day at a time. Please listen to Coach Lee!
What was the reason you broke up with her ? Is she dating someone else?
@@CuriousMind1000 she broke up with me, at first she gave the usual excuse that she wanted to be alone and better herself but eventually she told the truth and said her love for me faded.
@@jrodirizarry after 5 years together she has left me for someone else lol don't think NC or any shit like that will work I don't even want her back anymore but I still love her and there is some pointless hope inside me 🤷🏻
@@CuriousMind1000 It definitely works for us to move on, hope lasts for years but eventually that fades as well. Love is an interesting thing, I had an ex before this last relationship that called me recently to tell me she still loves me and wants to get back with me after literally ten years apart. Told her we can stay in touch but I don't feel what I did for her anymore. It's ironic how life works you can never be sure what to expect.
why do you post so seldom? I am waiting for an update from you. you're the only one i feel comfortable to listen to
Awesome video Coach Lee
Thank you. I thought it was really good as far as the information goes but it's not doing well compared to others. It's difficult to know which videos will do well.
@realcoachlee can you do video on exes who break up and move to another state?
@@RealCoachLee, likely an odd algorithm, coach. You’re the best.
Your videos were life saving during initial days of breakup......plz make videos on how to develop inner strength..how to detach...how to develop confidence,,,how to deal with loneliness,, emotional regulation etc .
You can not predict anybody 's mind.people do what they do.
It's better to reach out after a month or so in my experience if you want to fix things.. I once waited 5 months thinking it would've been better and by then there was a new woman in the picture and he was not willing to work on things. Spoke about us like we were a distant memory. Truth is they may think of you from time to time while you're silent but not like this, they just move on and you lose them forever because someone else has taken your place.
It's not your job to fix what they broke. You can express that you don't want the breakup but if they continue with it then they need to reach out. If you reach out, there will always be a part of them that knows you'll clean up their mess. If they decide to move on then it simply wasn't meant to be. So you did the right thing even if it didn't lead to the outcome you wanted. I can guarantee that if you had contacted them after 30 days, you would not get a good reaction from them. I tried the "30 day NC rule" on 1 ex and it just pushed them further away.
I miss my ex still. We were together for 11 and half years and it's only been three weeks. I've made peace with the fact we may never get back together but it sucks.
its really sucks after 31 years he dumped me.
I feel for you buddy....11 years for me....we laughed...we loved....no fighting no arguments no hurling insults....we had the best time....and created some great memories.....she went from...."...I love you so much....I've never been so happy....I'm so happy with where we are in our relationship....."....to....."....I can't do this anymore.....".....I believe it was PMDD.....and she's also a Dismissive Avoidant.....terrible combination....
Hang in there brother. It was the same for me. 11 and a half years. Still miss her. I'm pretty sure your ex will reach out. Just don't give in to your temptation. Follow coach Lee blindly!
Thank you so much coach lee, for these videos.
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for her, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I am really grateful to you Sir.I got my lover back thanks to your advice.
10 days NC. I really don’t believe they’re coming back, and I’m ok with it. Yes I’m hurt and yes it sucks soooo bad. But I want someone who is going to choose me and not try to walk away for the 4th time. They also have me a literal inane excuse for the breakup. So insane that I’m started to wonder if they’re a narcissist 🙃
We are all a narracist to a point.
It's been 3 days for me. My boyfriend broke up with me & I'm so heartbroken. I am crying alot. I feel like he doesn't even care. He hasn't reached out to see if I'm okay. I hate feeling like this so much!😭💔
If u had a good relationship and u are both sincere good people, i can assure u ur ex is in pain as well. Most men doesnt show their emotions, and in the beginning especially they might look like it was an easy thing for them. The breakup its gonna hit him after a while, usually when the woman is already in a better position emotionally
@@igchannel2174 I appreciate your words. I definitely agree with you about that. I think what hurts so much is how perfect everything was in the beginning. Then it all changed. That's what hurts my heart.💔
It's horrible, but just hang in there after a little bit. You will start to feel better
It will get better it's been 3 weeks for me, but hit the gym and get ur hobby back 💪
@@timpierce1967 I appreciate you. I'm trying.😭
Almost 15 months of no contact…yes, I’ve done a lot of healing. No, he hasn’t reached out yet at all. Yes, we had a good relationship…no fighting or ill-spoken words. The last time we spoke he was dating someone new. Yes I still think about him and want to reconnect. I know what we had together. I know he knows it too. I’ve tried dating others. I’m still trying. It’s true that you can never replace what you meant to each other. I still love him. And I’m still hopeful after all this time. The heart wants what it wants.
Two months of no contact my ex asked if we could just be friends what do I do
I've watched a lot of coach lee’s videos and her say. If you want them back you say no to the friend zone. They are trying to ease their pain by friend-zoning you. Don't do it. No contact all the way.
They come back to say that to calm the pain of breakup and keep the one as backup plan.. don't accept it gently
If u still have romantic feelings toward him/her, then do not be friends, because it might get horrible in the end, and it keeps u in a limbo of "what if?", and that might also sabotage ur future relationship.
But if ur feelings are becoming more neutral and u feel like nothing can hurt u anymore and u still appreciate her/him as a friend, then go for it.
Mine asked me to be friends. I didn't not reply on that. Now, I have been in 3 months no contact. For your mental health, it is probably not a good idea to accept friendship if you can't accept her dating other guys.
Currently on 9 weeks of no contact. Feels pretty good, healing one day at a time. She's texted me three times since we ended things. She asked how I was doing the day after and the following day. The third text was saying she was surprised I blocked her on social and she was sending my stuff back. I just want to be left alone
What if your ex tells you nothing, I don't know what I've done wrong. I've been seeing him for 7 years.
Perhaps you did nothing wrong, why should it be that? Perhaps he doesn't know what to say, why his feelings changed. Feelings are not always clear to describe, Perhaps he has no idea why they changed. And would he tell the truth? Or waffle on about sth that makes you feel better, or him look better, or him feel less guilty? Does it matter? He walked away. Focus on that
41 days nc.. Hanging in there...
I am entered in 45 days of No contact but still silence from him
You can break no contact after 2 months or so @@AineeZahra-ww5sk
Meh 32 of NC and still getting anxiety and trauma
@@AineeZahra-ww5sk Keep rocking it! You got this... My ex is still silent with me too. We got this!
@@yetitv8099 really 💔 feeling like mad let's pray 🙏🙇🙌for healing
Every day of NC and I inch closer to moving on. I stopped counting but Im probably around 45 days. Im realizing that I made many mistakes during our 3 year relationship and need to work on myself AND she made many mistakes and I firmly believe is presenting a narrative that shes the victim in all this which is delaying her reaching out. But she keeps viewing my stories almost immediately. She also posts sad stories to her close friends list right after viewing my stories (presumably targeted at me in response) and then deletes them after an hour. Its really odd behavior likely to get me to break NC. But i will hold firm and focus on improving myself and realizing my value. Im not even sure if i want her back anymore and i dont think she realizes that her behavior is now pushing me away! In other words, I can feel the tables turning as I continue to gain strength and she realizes her life isn't better without me. Not sure if she will reach out but Im beginning to accept whatever happens
Slim Lee dropping Gems.
MAJOR QUESTION... What about if we have a child together? As much as I wanna disappear and not speak to her at all I can't because my daughter is in the picture i have to see her
What if it was a bad break up? And her mother said hurtful things to me and I said somethings back. Which led to my ex filing an DVRO against me? Do these stages still apply?
6 months..no contact, he dont care bout me..never did 😂
Was with my girlfriend for 7 years, broke up about 6 weeks ago due to her mental health and wanting to work on herself. I have had a hard time with it but am making improvements in my life. When she broke up with me she mentioned she does hope that we cross paths eventually but she can’t commit to this right now. Spoke to her dad the other day and apparently she can’t commit to anything at all now and wants to focus on her last year of school. Idk how to take it as I do want her back so badly
@@wildajansson3Wilda Wym?
What if they say
‘dont contact me again’
‘i hate u’
would NC work still?
this would be a round 2 (nc)
first round, so she said she didnt want to see me anymore, I didnt fight it and agreed. 5 days later she reached out.
This time, she said that she hated me and dont contact her again. I think that she wrote that in extreme anger, and that she will cool off and come back again. no contact would work again? pls coach and anyone have any advice, pls share thx
Please give them the breakup. For your sake, don't contact them. They have expressed that they don't want to be with you anymore. I had the same situation. My ex wrote me a letter saying we needed to get over each other. Mind you, he did that two months into me not having any contact with him. It's been eight months; I promise things will improve without them. You are going to grow, heal, and learn how to live without them. Anyhow, I saw my story in what’s happening to you I hope this helps.
You're going to be alright. All you have to do is no contact.
I swear that the day will come when you get her back, or you won't want her back.
Yes just stay the course of no contact
@@donhansum so, u think theres still a chance they will reach out even after ‘dont contact me again? theres no block initiated tho
@@jaydub7386 so u mean, for the time being she doesnt? or for good? because at the end, u mention that I will get her back?
18 months since break up, she in a rebound for 16 months, not really stuck to NC until now. 112 days so far. Am i too late doing this?
Are there no contact rules when you have children? I speak to my children every night and have been playing games together on the phone quite a bit last week with my son. We looked like we'd be together, 2 weeks later distant, another 2 weeks she asked for divorce, a week later new bf moved in. She blamed not trusting me for a past problem I am addressing with therapy but after she moved she was very loving. Thank you
Imo ,I believe they reach the stages where they want to reach out alot sooner than you think. Humans just have extreme pride. It's a big issue in my family
I'm not convinced with no contact it can have different effects on people. My ex is in a rebound and regularly calls and texts as we get on. Initially at the start I didn't contact her at all and she reached out after 3 weeks. I made no attempt to get her back or change her mind. I'm at the point now where it's OK if she doesn't come back. Additionally I believe I have the humour to bring her back from the rebound if I wanted. It gives me a degree of control which is far better than completely starving both of you of any communication. I don't find that healthy at all, but please remember you have to be comfortable that they are with another person. Additionally the aim is that when and if they want to return. Say no
My breakup was abrupt, she accused me of a heinous thing, and I panicked. She blocked me on everything and I tried my hardest to try and reach out. Everything was perfect before then we were saying we are meant for each other and talking about living forever together with each other. I sent her a message through someone else’s phone saying how she’s wrong and I need at least a chance to explain myself. She’s acting like she has evidence of me doing this. So she is standing strong in her feelings about this. I told her I wouldn’t contact her anymore and give her the space she wants. But I tried so hard for that week to attempt to defend myself. Will no contact work with my situation?
I've got a kid with my ex. How does NC work in this situation??
Same here, she's told me she doesn't love me anymore and less stressed. She's not telling me anything related to our son.
She's suddenly not asking me if I'm dating anyone or seeing someone all of sudden.
Coach Lee and Coach Ken have videos on strategic contact in these types of cases
I suggest you watch this video all the way through: ruclips.net/video/flXMJxzIDH0/видео.html
How can she walk away from 27 years together it's been 8 months she staying stubborn
1 1/2 months into blindside breakup, and was about 2 weeks into NC but found her back on the dating app we met on and called her out on it and said my peace...got complete silence and she blocked me on the app and probably my number too...funny enough looks like she deleted her account on the app, but im guess she just moved to a different app
58 days of NC. I ended things with him because he wasn’t putting in effort, making time for me, and ghosted me 3 times. I got fed up. I feel good about my decision to walk away because I don’t believe he will ever really appreciate me. I put myself first and love myself more than I could ever love him. ❤
SAME! I did that last week, you did the right thing!
you're right beautiful, absolutely women needs affection and attention. I'm sorry about that.
@@lilylegs where do you based?
She dumped me and offered to be friends. I said I don’t want friendship. She then asked if I wanted to go no contact then. I said she was welcome to contact me if she had a specific reason or if she changed her mind, but that I probably wouldn’t contact her. Did I mess up by telling her that??? And if so now what? Please help I am freaking out
No you didn't mess up. You said the right thing and you are now expecting her decision and showing strength. Telling her you probably won't contact her shows that you are mature and won't try to insert yourself in her life when she doesn't want you. And you also let her know she can contact you if she changes her mind. I dont think theres anything wrong with saying that. You communicated clearly and now you just need to stay strong and stick to NC
@@JoMama123451234 thank you friend, that eases my mind
@@JoMama123451234 what concerns me is that I’m afraid she’ll be too scared to have the whole “test the waters/casual reach out” phase. I’m afraid she thinks she has to be 100% sure or I’ll be mad she’s reached out
Dear Coach Lee. Please do a video on the possibility of ex coming back years later. Is it wise to wait for the ex to come back years later. Thank you.
No never wait years. Move on.
It's obvious you are still in love or probably you are the cause of the break up. If you are, it's advisable you apologies and mend things but if not, having them back to your life it would be disastrous!
An ex that can dump you for frivolous reasons and still waiting for you to clean their mess is not worthy to wait for. They might be narcissist!
My ex girlfriend broke up because of 3rd party she had someone behind my back lineup until she took her decision to break up , my question is how can she find someone to replace a good 8 years relationship?
Let her go, everyone deserves better than that
She was monkey branching you.
@@Letsbe_real thats exactly what I did
@jaydub7386 every one it telling me the same .
But the most surprising is last year we took a break witch i didn't know about the new supply ,and she came back and this year she left again
@jackjames5694 basically she just using you till she finds better...
Plenty of women out there, better than that
Idk if my case is any special but around the end of July, she broke up with me but changed her mind in couple days (5 days maybe) after I did no contact without knowing this technique. She specifically admitted that she hated not receiving my messages or sending me some messages. She then asked to reconcile but she wanted to go slowly. I messed it up by being too needy (again, I didn't know this type of contents, back then). Now, it's been 18 days of no contact. Is there still a chance or is it doomed, this time?
Yes
He called me names , fought with me after he cried his eyes out , shouted and cursed me for the most part after he knew i went to have closer from my ex he actually never promised me marriage and never discussed it i don’t get why he was that angry for when he didn’t even made himself ready for the so called “relationship “ lol . The relationship was “solid” for one year but i’m not sure really if it will be objective for the NC . He also lied about a communication he had with a girl he was deleting the messages for
What if she's pregnant with our child? 16 weeks along. She hit me with the I love you I'm not in love with you line. We've had a GREAT relationship. Year in a half. So many great memories. Solid communication. We've talked every single day. Slowly but surely things has just felt apart.. Coach Lee. You've always helped bring my anxiety down and give me some sense of hope and direction. Thank you. I'm just in denial right now and have had trouble accepting what she wants to do. Triggers like these make me feel like there could be someone else 🤷 can't get outa my own head.
As she’s pregnant you need to keep some form of communication. I don’t want to use it in this situation but a familiar saying is be careful otherwise it will get chucked back in your face if you reduce contact. I don’t think this is something you can/should do a no contact
@jomcdowell1352 Exactly why I commented. Need further advice. I have a really hard time controlling my emotions with someone I love. She's dead set on doing this apart. She can't stand me. The moment I bring up what life will be like with the baby involved she's dead set on raising it single/ co parents. Haven't done anything wrong to deserve this type of mental abuse. I know it's hormones, has to be. It's just hard right now to stay positive and out of my head. I don't want to contact cause all it does it make me feel like shit.
@@dmills0991 I think one of the things you may need to focus on is your emotions. If you do that it will change how you behave and think. This could possibly explain why she’s behaving in this way when you mention how the baby will be raised. If she can see a change in your behaviour, that could possibly make a difference.
Is there a separate video for those who have gone through no contact for over 1-2 years? 😅
Please, someone respond. What if i hurt him? No cheating, and he says we don't work or see a future, didbno c work for anyone in my spot?
Who wants an ex back after they gave away your sacred pantry dish.🥧😮
👌@@wildajansson3Wilda
I n is it’s a long shot but I was hoping to get a little bit of an answer from someone because I’m lost on what to do my ex broke up with me a week ago and I texted her once a day for the first three days asking if we could talk and after the third day I started no contact and she acts like I do t exist anymore because we work I. The same building and she’s blocked me on a few social medias but not all of them and I’m going to stay strong with no contact but I wanna k ow if I’ve already messed things up beyond repair
First of all, repair your grammar. From your one sentence, I can read 4 meanings.
I know this is a long shot but I was hoping to get a little bit of an answer from someone because I’m lost on what to do my ex broke up with me a week ago and I texted her once a day for the first three days asking if we could talk and after the third day I started no contact and she acts like I don’t we work in the same building and she ignores me I want to stay strong with no contact and she’s blocked me on a few social medias but not all I was just wondering if there was anything I could do or if it’s beyond repair
@@goranhajduk1992 is that better?
Hi, I’m in no contact for just over 4 weeks and I know it’s super hard to deal with. We were together over 8 1/2 years and there are days I feel hopeless but after watching about 50 of coach Lee’s videos I am hoping I can stick to it. I feel a whole range of emotions. Some days I feel strong and hopeful and other days lost and depressed. But I truly believe in what he is saying because I DO feel stronger today than I did 4 weeks ago. What you said your ex is doing sounds a lot like what coach Lee says it “normal” or the pattern of behaviors the exes go through. Maybe your ex blocked you as part of baiting you to get in contact but i would not fall for it. As he says “Do not accept crumbs from their table”. Don’t react until they actually contact you. It will be worth it in the end.
Also, I may be wrong but from what I feel like coach Lee would tell us is that since you work in the same building that you don’t have to go out of your way to ignore her or be rude, but do not speak to her unless it is necessary for work. If and when it is necessary, then you just be polite and stick to work topics. It will throw her off her game wondering why you didn’t try to talk about the relationship. Let her feel that doubt and confusion for a while.
This works Even after multiple breakups or she lost feelings?
What if i broke up with him because he cheated and lied that he wanted marriage but never really moved towards “marriage” he was just telling me that to pursue a fake connection to take my time, energy qnd sex
please post a video about what to do after having to meet your ex at work after 3 months of break up from a four year old relationship as a dumpee
yea hes actually doing that very specific situation next ur very lucky
She came back after 66 days of no contact saying hi how are you.. but I acted like I was waiting of her so she breadcrumb me I'm in no contact again and I don't know if it will work again?!
I need help from all of you
Me and him had broke up for a month at first he told me that he had lost feeling for me ( we are in long distances relationship ) and 1 week later I found him that he have cheated on me during the time we are still together now I am in no contact situation to him for month. ( the girl he is with living in the same city as him )
Does no contact work in case of divorce…I saw it won’t work in case of divorce.. so after 3 months of no contact I reached 2 days back saying if we if there is any chance of getting back together and I didn’t get any response and he blocked me the next day
It’s been 7 months no contact and no change. When do they change there mind
Sometimes, never. The point of no contact is to get them back and for personal growth for you too. Hopefully, you'll outgrow them like I did.
This might be a little too early to judge but after 4 weeks of no contact I don’t think she goes through any of these points. She is already back on dating apps. 2 months ago she told me she is in love with me …
No contact bro the rebound relationship isn’t gonna wrk if u stay away from her and stop contacting. No contact is for u not her. Listen to coach lee
@@donhansum thx bro! Appreciate the comment!
@@Philipp_Gonzalesforget about her. The last breakup I had I also saw her on dating apps within a month. I know you love her very much. The fact that you are okay with her going on dating apps and still waiting for her. You know what happens on dating apps right. Move on my friend. Believe me. You should do it by now. Hope you are doing well.
Does no contact work for someone that ghosted you? 👻
Going on a year
NC works for you not them. Like he said give them the breakup.
Boom!
They won't come back on their own and they live on their words and actions.
We had been together for 2 years. We just broke up and her birthday is in 10 days should i break no contact to wish her a happy birthday?
No don't do it, if you had no contact up until now you will disrupt the process
What if you’re getting divorced (husband wants)but your husband still talks to you like a friend? You go out and talk for hours and you still have sex. What is he thinking? Does he still love me?
I was 8 years and we had ups and downs so l don’t know if my husband is going to come back
Heal your heart first and take care of yourself.
what led to your separation?
Together 9 years. Lived together. Engaged for 6 or 7 years. Wa sno rush. I ma 59, she is 55. Lived together in her house. She decided she didn't want to be engaged, or in a relationship. I moved out, she sold the house (it was her house)....
We've been apart 9 months now...I haven't done no contact (trying)...
I still have hope she will change her mind and we will get back together.
There was no cheating or infidelity.
Am I stupid for holding out hope?!
No we have messed up before in the beginning. U have to stop contacting her like now. If u want it to wrk. We all have messed up before it’s expected. If u start no contact now things are gonna get better. It’s gonna hurt but it gets better. Let them have the break up. If there was real love she will remember and miss u after a while bro. Let them miss u
My ex left for another man. But wants to be best friends. Told me She will be there. She told me they haven't been intimate yet. It's been 3 weeks NC. Is there hope?
No move on upgrade your life
If you be friends with your ex what negative will they have from the breakup because they’re eating their cake and having it back.
@Suarez-d7f agree let the trash stay outside I slept with my ex after she already slept with someone else she lied I found out and called her a pos and a. Scum bag women will lie to your face can't trust 95 % of them she will lie with a smile /evil
NC day 5. 😬
Try not to count the days. I have been over 15 months. I heard about long nc. It scared me at that time, and oooppps I am in that category now.
We broke up 3 weeks ago and besides on reach out (no begging and pleading) I went straight to no contact after that. So it has been 2 weeks of no contact and she texted me today a few hours ago to return her a book. I said I would go out later so I could give it to her. I went by her place well dressed and smiling and gave her her book back. We talked for like 1 minute and while she was "smiling" she was eager to leave. I just asked how she was nothing more I kept it very formal. Now I'm going back to know contact but got really hurt. The book was quite insignificant without a sentimental value to her so was it that important? She didn't seem to care to chat oh well...:(😢😢
She’s testing u
@@donhansum how?
@@vasilisvks1448 she like the attention she’s bread crumbing u she know she got u and u keep falling for it tighten up
You don’t need them. If you do, or think you do, you need to see a therapist.
Does this work even if they went to another relationship soon after?
Yes because it won’t last in the rebound relationship stay away and do no contact. Listen to coach lee
If I see her around at events we both go to, should I still say hello?
Just be casual .
Reached 63 days of NC at this point I think its just a lost cause
Girlfriend of 3.5 years ended things via text. Didn’t want to meet in person to talk it out. Said issues were we lost the spark - which i said is a workable situation?.
2 months of no contact. Still miss her.
Is she a DA or a FA?
Seems to be posting more and going out showing she’s having a good time which breaks me tbh.
Im so sorry to hear that. And btw breaking up via text is sooooo immature and cowardly move.
She’s trynna make u hurt and reach out. That stuff she’s doing is fake bro. She’s not happy she trynna make u play her game. But u got a new game….. do no contact. And stop looking at her stories bro. She knows u looking she likes that. Stop going on her stories and social media. Go A wall flip the script. Wrk on u she’ll be back. And don’t be so quick to take her back. Make her wrk for it. Don’t be angry when u guys do tlk ok? And don’t try to make her jealous either
My ex dumped me via message, refused to see and talk to me as said it’s too hard. Even too this day it’s the same. I told him you’re a coward and have no guts. We was messaging afterwards but it took me over just over 3mths for me to think what’s the matter with me I’m chasing you. Many times I’ve been told never chase a man let him chase you. Some of the communication from my side has eased off. One of my first changes is I no longer react or comment on he’s facebook posts. Let’s just see if he decides to contact me again in the future 🤔
We pursue that which retreats
Coach Lee, could do more videos From the dumpers' perspective? most of the videos are about the dumpee and hope.
Its been day 5 of no contact. I have started to feel more calm about the breakup and ive started to eat again.
Ive been waching and listening to these type of videos because they are the only things (besides being in nature) that has been helping me with enxiety. If u comment here, future online friends, i will try to update my progess💪
Right there with you, exactky a week for me and support for me is sport, being around people and these videos. I know I was brilliant with her, and she is consumed with guilt about her divorce, lack of time, and it's got difficult and legal for her. I reassured her anytime is good time but she never replied after saying about I deserve more last week. I wont beg.and this is so tough but I've been a rock and she won't miss it if I pursue. God be with you, stay strong x
@@stuartlee3123 🫶🏻🙏 lets embrace the change and level up
@@stuartlee3123 stay well too! I hope u the best
@@stuartlee3123 how are you feeling now? :)
It been 15 months I wish I had her back
Ffff them...move on
Thinking about her new man
Gays listen to coach Lee it’s hundred percent work go for no contact they will come back
Gays??😂
Coach Lee, can you please do a video on monkey branching? So many people don't know how common this is & it's awful on the dumped. People really need to understand what it is. I think you're the BEST person to explain this. ❤
Ha I just did the same comment just now and saw yours, he would be the best to break it down and how to handle it.
@@Freudster21I agree 💯
From dumpers perspective, NC will not work if you neglected them, took them for granted, broke up with you three times, you promised you'd change. Dumpers get numb, advise from their therapist not to go back, and friends that tell dumpers there's more fish in the sea. Do no contact for yourself, don't wait.
This may be true. But I know I spent 2 weeks post breakup trying to convince her that I want to work through things together and improve and apologizing for not listening to her. In the end, she still said no to being together. Even if you neglected them, you can't convince them once they break up with you other than apologizing and expressing a desire to improve and fix things
I hurt her emotionally unintentionally,,, family pressure and career pressure got the best of me and i lashed out on her,,, will NC work,, i already apologize and begged for a week,,
I think it’s over mate you already exposed your emotions. Best bet is to go no contact not for her but for yourself so you can get yourself together.
Another tip: never get too angry with a woman. If she fears for her safety she’s a goner. And the fact that you begged for a week after shows her that you have little self control and low self esteem. A confident man wouldn’t chase or beg but would politely hold the door open for anyone who desires to leave.
@@ClaytonColey-z5i so there's no chance,,, what I meant by begging was me apologizing for hurting her and assuring her that it won't happen like that again,,, there were ups and downs but not like this,, this was the one time i lost control
No contact
@@dingguite2014 it depends. But if she tries to break up and you showed that you don’t want her to leave then she’s gonna look at it like you can’t do better
Coach please make a video on " where your ex contacts you during nc but just to check up , how to take on from that point"
If she is only checking up on you , Don't reply. Wait till she give you a good indication on where she is going.
@@jackjames5694bad advice, coach Lee suggests reply casually in these cases and match the energy, but if he does it too often, remind him of the breakup he had chosen. i've watched all the videos on the channel so I'm literally becoming a relationship coach lol
👍
I crashed out yesterday cause she started dating 😅
Please make a video on ex who leave you to work on job or some exam and they say i dont have time for relationships because of that
Excuse