Well done 👏🎉 me too. I thought I will never get over him but eventually feelings started easing and I don't care what he is doing but it took 18 months. Karma has no expiry date 😁 God heard conversations I didn't hear and saw situations I didn't see.
@@kateryna5015 Ex never come back, they are enjoying new happy life with new lovers. You dream too much move on guys. They don't care if you go no contact, No contact is for you only
@@royromero5329 Don't get her back, she considered you are plan B. She got back to you bc her new boy friend dumped her, don't be a trash pin man (she didn't do good bj so he dumped her)
You do realise that some people dump because they had enough of being mistreated so that's not always true. Depends on the circumstances. Many people dump and don't look back just saying
@yaab8250 This only applies if the Dumped really loved the Dumper. Idc who you are, If you dump someone that really truly cared about you and loved you like no other, You're gonna feel it. Maybe not right away but as time goes by, The Dumper will remember how much the person they gave away loved them and that's when it will come back to bite them in the ass. Now some Dumpers come back and others realize they messed up and just move on anyway
@@Layerlol Yes I agree with you there. Going into any relationship is a risk but when it comes to matters of the heart I just wish people would be honest and not be so malicious.
My ex recently made a video on Twitter. She was just talking about her life, and she mentioned me. She stated that we had to go our separate ways but was getting emotional. You could tell it affects her. She said, "I love him to death." Then repeated, I love him when mentioning me. Funny, she hated me when she left a year ago, now she "loves me to death." I've been in no contact, and she knows she essentially blew up the bridge between us. I think now she is experiencing regret to some extent and knows I basically don't care.
Problem is, once they drove you to NOT CARE, that’s when they want you and you struggle with the idea of how this may not be good for you anymore. Woman want it all man but they continue to blow it!
@@curtisfiguried7760 I'm sorry it's not only women that do this. My ex husband drove me away, I tried to work it out with him but he didn't care back then. After one year, he came back, regreting what happened and asking for a New chance. But i was in love with a New Man (he's my husband right now) and i declined his offer. Why he couldn't see my worth back then ? I dont know. But it's his loss.
@curtisfiguried7760 Yes, I am done. We get treated like crap when we love them, with some glimmers of love reciprocated here and there but when we finally want nothing to do with them anymore that's when we literally become celebrity status to them.
@@robpz448 that’s so toxic. Me and mine are separated now for 3 months. ( legally married ) Was toxic as crap. Literally, I was turning into a weekend alcoholic because I just wanted to be loved and be treated better than a working mule. I’m alone now and back on my workouts again. She had my bench all covered with crap. Animals messing all over the house. Sinks piled high. Never payed attention to me. She started out cute and feminine but became a man. 😞. And then they end up with the kids too and you find that the kids don’t really want to hang out with you, one on one because they’re influenced not to. It’s heartbreaking but what can you do? Coach says marriage is different than being single with no contact but she stops taking to me for days. I’m just going to let it go man. I did everything to try to be the man she needed. I’ve been so patient and sweet over the phone. Anyhow, her communication was never any good. We were destined for failure. Good luck on your end sir! Any hope with trying to make a woman happy….You might as well try to be Superman
Some partners are so toxic. It’s not even their fault. All upbringing , parents, influences around them in their formative years etc. That’s a reason to be empathic. But it sure ain’t a reason to let them walk all over their partner! As coach eludes to, regain your dignity/ personal integrity ! I’m a 37 year veteran of one woman. She’s still stunning in looks. Sex on legs! Mother to our 3 wonderful grown up kids. I’m 2 years living alone. I’ve been giving her the dark side of the moon , as coach says to do and guess what ?😂 he is correct! She’s on the way back ! For me though , there’s a massive BUT ! It’s now her turn to sweat it !! Listen to coach Lee and coach Ken, my men. They know !!💕🖖
2 or 3 years ago I was dealing with a divorce after 35 yrs and I stumbled upon this mans video about giving the woman the breakup and allowing space so she could miss me. So Im sitting here and I see his picture on my screen and I yell 'Hey Babe, this is the dude who taught me how to win you back," She says tell him thanks. So Hey coach Lee... Thanks Man
Using no contact for three weeks now after my ex cheated on me and moved out. I was so caught up in my love for her i tried to forgive and beg her to come back. Then i found this channel. Three weeks into NC and i truly have learned beauty is only skin deep with some people. My mental and physical health is on the rise. Now I see she doesnt actually deserve my time or attention anymore. Its will always be her loss not mine. No rebounds, just healing and accepting my life is on a new path without her. No resentment towards her either. This combination has saved my life....Stay strong people you can all overcome the pain and dead memories.
Keep it going bro you'll make it, you'll be fine you're doing great 💪🏼 The real test is when she realizes or feels that she lost you and contacts you out of nowhere. Stay in your frame and keep taking care of yourself and keep watching these videos. If the situation does arise look up Coach Lee on the search (before you answer her text) with that exact situation and he more than likely will have a video for it.
@sally3625 suffering is suffering. But he said he's not suffering anymore. It doesn't matter where you live. You can be in paradise and a broken heart sucks. Your comment had nothing to do with the video. 😂
Listen to coach. 1 month. 1 week. He texted me today asking how I’ve been, and now we’re meeting up for dinner tomorrow. They do get curious. They haven’t stopped thinking about the end of the relationship. Your absence is felt. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. The work pays off. Good luck ❤️
@@Leaveitalone1382 only 5 weeks? Thats not enough time. I promise you, remember this thread and come back to give us the update WHEN he reaches out to you in probably another few months. He will. Especially if he knows you’re getting a lot of attention and doing well. A little tip, from a man, level up your body. But whatever you do, if he dumped YOU, don’t ever contact him first.
2023 was the worst year in my life. I started no contact in hopes to get back with her. Now I truly don't care anymore and my mental is so much healthier ever since. Dating has become an enjoyment again as I realized there are other people who are far better than my controlling ex!
Exactly! Years of committed relationship. Got dumped a year ago. I distanced myself but allowed being “friend zoned” by him. Dumper got tired with rebounds that failed. Anxiously, asked me to call him, but with a “come to me” attitude. Thanks but no thanks. Going strong on NC for one month. Working on self growth. He isn’t worth the time anymore 🎉
I’m glad I’m over with my ex thanks to Coach Lee. I promise myself not to answer his call text message etc. after my sister passed away I don’t give a fudge being in a relationship anymore. I miss my sister more than my ex. I’m done I’m over.
It's amazing how they use Flying Monkeys to check in for them. I've had this happen recently. I also learned a valuable lesson....(" Never tell a friend what you don't want the enemy to know." ) Stay on your toes and good luck!
COACH LEE. I will forever be in your debt . You’ve helped me so much throughout my recent breakup . You helped me threw a dark pint in my life and helped me keep hope and composure. And everything you’d aid worked in the matter of weeks
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
I was hoping I wouldn't be back listening to Coach Lee, but here I am. Same relationship I've been struggling with for six months. I thought I was going to break today if I didn't see him, but I pushed through. Yes, my dignity is at stake. But, *he* has to come to his own realization about certain things in his life. If this is who God wants for me, several obstacles need to be removed, that only he and God can fix. He knows I chose him. Only time will tell if he chooses me, and if this relationship is in God's Will. In the meantime, I need to make daily choices that are in my best interest, and allow him, if it is his desire, to choose me. I don't want to coerce anyone's love. It wouldn't stick in the long run anyway.
Same I’m back here for the second time. Thinking I was getting back together with my ex but back to same situation. He says he loves me. His friends say he is in love with me. But if he wants to throw it away, there’s nothing I can do. Only so long can do the emotional rollercoaster
I took my final bow 5 weeks ago. Went around in circles about 4 times in 10 months and I finally said enough. The pain is horrific. But I am truly done.
Your story is mine to the letter. I pray daily for healing of my heart and soul and for complete surrender to God’s holy will. God is close to the broken-hearted.
I don’t think people mean “fight for them” I think people mean apply pressure, show effort. Which I feel 100% should be demonstrated. You left me, show me why you want me back. You definitely need to earn my love back. I lost it when you lost your mind and did whatever you did to me.
To all those...im 23x days NC.. its soul destroying...anxiety on nuclear levels...tears till my body has dried up...memories good times....can't focus...but ive decided to leave it to fate...if its meant to be it will be....hard i know but leave it to destiny you tubers!....dnt rebound cuz they will still be on ur mind and is not fair to the other person...Destiny
Hang there bro!! We on the same time line, had more HIGH days than LOW days so that’s a plus.. mental is getting better 💪🏽💪🏽😎hang in there for your dignity
@@goranhajduk1992agreed that’s where it got the worst for me, between 1-2 months. Like it was almost worst after a month but now that it’s been two I’m feeling pretty detached but miss having a connection with someone. At this point it’s less an urge to contact but a regret that I haven’t contacted him and just overall advice on life post heartbreak that I come back to this guys’ videos.
@@bladimiragurcia4720 thanks bro....sad thing is I dropped my guard...stayed loyal deleted all side dishes to keep main dish...then I get the unsure feelings talk...I said ok cool...NC since still NC...what will be will be....never dropping my guard again guys...
If it’s possible to be in a situation where you Don’t see her anymore then it’s a lot easier to make the time pass. If you’re in a situation where you have to see her weekly, it sucks
6 1/2 months after the BU/strict NC. Still love him but it does get better. Therapy, medication, prayer, your videos, and LOA videos have all helped tremendously. Amazing things are happening in my life right now and I’m very grateful to be out of that thick darkness 🙏🏻 I still cry and feel sad but I know I’m going to be okay. I’ve really grown as a person during this entire process. I feel like a kinder and more understanding individual now. Everybody, feel all your feelings. Cry your eyes out. Exercise, journal, make plans with friends, eat health. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY!! Treat yourself like you would your best friend. It gets better, I promise you 🙏🏻 From someone who thought her life no longer had meaning and wanted to give up. Hang in there.
Remembering to keep ones dignity is a huge reminder. I've been in NC for 2 months and 2 weeks. During the break up phone call, I agreed with him that things weren't working out, and I wasn't fighting going to fight about it, I asked, do we want to talk about this? And he said, no, we've tried to talk about stuff before and it didn't go anywhere...ouch...I guess that's true. And I still feel this urge to reach out to him. It's madness on my part. But I need to keep my dignity and not reach out to someone who doesn't want to talk about it. Sigh. Thanks Coach Lee for all of your reminders, I subscribed to your channel.
I came back to watch a coach lee video to reminisce on the times I would BINGE this guys videos to help me get through my breakup. Just wanted to say that I appreciate you and if it weren’t for you I can guarantee I would’ve made it much worse for myself at the time. I’ve made it through the other side and I’m over the breakup now and completely healed after a year and a half. But still, I’m always gonna be a huge fan of coach lee
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
When a woman decides to leave let her go. The more you try to win her back the weaker and less attractive you look in her eyes. If you totally ignore her after the breakup and go your separate ways odds are 50:50 that she will contact you within the next 5 years. If a guy puts a lot of effort into winning her back the odds drop to nil. Also, contrary to the woke trend fantasy, women do not get better with age.
Well done all you beautiful people who have been in NC for many months and gone through hell after being dumped .. I know what it’s like but we got through it .. I had a FaceTime call after two years of NC which I genuinely missed .. I won’t reply as it’s only breadcrumbs or to relieve any regrets they have .. Keep strong everyone, and like coach Lee says only respond to genuine and substantial messages 🤷🏼♂️🙏🏼
Dignity is key. Having dignity will cause clearer thinking about the relationship. When i look back at my last couple breakups with my sense of dignity intact, i saw how much i was giving in the relationship and how much they were taking. When that clear thinking sets in, the attraction and ruminations just evaporate. Then the realization the person that dumped me is likely having more regrets and sadness because they now see they gave up on a good situation.
ive stayed out of contact for over 3 months recently they contacted me about what i wanted to do with tickets we had to a couple shows together i stayed kind courteous but damn just that little bit of contact with her brought back all the fkin feelings and left me struggling through the rest of the day. thanks for some words of wisdom man avoiding contact has helped me for sure
Man I literally just went through the same exact thing just a few days ago after about 40 days NC. Feels like that contact set me back quite a bit. I feel for ya.
i started talking to someone new and it is crazy how much clarity it brings. things are completely platonic and my mindset has shifted to a much healthier space.@@jakeindyrealtor
@@johnlivingstone1749 i ended up buying her ticket off her and nothing since. she pops up in my head every couple days sometimes multiple days. it gets harder before it gets easier man. i recently went to a friends birthday, showed up early talked to pretty much everyone in our mutual friend group including the birthday star but left after greeting her when she showed up last.
Coach Lee genuinely love you man for all you’ve done for so many of us. Wish you practiced in Georgia I’d be a client for sure! God bless you brother and be well, thanks again.
@@RealCoachLee please I'm.a Christian I'm being faithful to him for for 26 years God knows . From my heart. I'm not perfect we argue but he knows me. When he make lough after 10 minutes we are fine. We don't keep fighting. We're absolutely happy seems like we didn't argue that moment. He just confused in his life. I always convince him. We have God. Have faith and hope. Everything is under control in God. Please give Answer so i will have gor my husband. I'm married to him. I will never do anything against my husband .God knows how faithful I am to him. In Jesus name
For the last two months I've avoided watching videos about breakups and reconciling because I didn't want to give myself any hope. After four months of breakup I'm still struggling to move on. This month was so much better than the last 3 months. But since the last few days I've been feeling really low. I feel depressed. It's an important time for me but I'm unable to control myself from feeling depressed. It is affecting my work. I'm frustrated at myself. I know it's anything but natural, still I'm frustrated. I've started to hate that person. But deep down I know I still long for him. It's confusing and frustrating.
For those here seeking hope, of long term relationships, only about 5% get back together and it takes 2 to 7 years with one of you staying single. When a girl leaves, take her at her word and move on or you'll stay stuck and overanalyzing things. If she left you once, she'll do it again. Don't settle and don't forget the role you played in the breakup. If you're either defensive, critical, hold contempt or stonewall, learn the antidote or your relationships will fail.
I can't wait for this one.. my ex just broke up with me the day before her birthday this past December 16th Indirectly messaged me on messenger today saying that my ex-mother-in-law is so funny posting these superimposed pictures of herself... as if I really cared.. I didn't ignore her but I just kept it short and moving along. I guess she misses me but I'm healing pretty good and in no contact taking care of myself. Thank you again Coach I ran into your videos in early 2020 when I was super injured from losing who I thought was the love of my life And now I'm just back dealing with another breakup, but it's even easier this time with all the knowledge I gained from 2020.
Coach Lee, I’ve been looking into narcissism and started to wonder this about my ex, I had some red flags. Always blaming me, no empathy etc but when you said the thing about “not fighting for me” and said the word Narcissist, it genuinely made my adrenaline fire. Because that’s exactly what I had, like it was almost made out that the break up was my fault as well as I didn’t fight or show that i cared. I’m starting to get freaked out that my mental deterioration over the time I was with her was largely due to her being a narcissist. Scary stuff and she seemingly is so innocent and always the victim
@@RealCoachLee thanks Coach Lee, still feel the loss but feel I’m finding my old self again. Still wishing for closure as she never saw me face to face and still has stuff as mine which I’ve no idea what’s gonna happen with that. But deep down I’m more and more certain she was poison to me
I've wished her the best of luck with future goals and she just blames me says I never loved her, my self respect is more valuable than her insecurities. I'm not completely over her I just don't have the energy to deal with it
The whole "show them your effort is zero, they're the ones who walked away, they're the ones who have to walk back" really hit home for me. After my husband quietly checked out and then walked out on me 6 months ago, I have been chasing. I just got to the point of being ready to divorce, and when I said I'm done. If you won't even see me after 6 months, that is your right, but my right is to say this doesn't work for me. If you want a divorce, you got it. Now he wants to meet up. Hopefully it goes well but it has been so long, I have no idea if there's anything left after all the hurt he put me through
Thanks Coach. Your wisdom and advice has gotten me through multiple breakups. I followed the no contact and she reached out to me after two months. However, I made the mistake to give her a chance right away and not earning my love. After two months she became distant again not answering my calls and taking over a day to respond to my texts; and I decided to have cojones and draw the line. I told her if you can't make me feel valued and special, i need to move on. However I left the door open and told her to take to take her time and space. She replied "I agree. I wish you the best of luck". I never replied to her last text. We are back in no contact😂. On a side note. I'm a straight male, but you have beautiful hair 😂. No disrespect. Thanks Coach!!!
My ex reached out 2 days ago we spoke and I was really calm. Haven’t spoke since so just back in no contact hoping she messages again but no contact clearly works. Thank you coach Lee
Going on 20 months here. Didn't beg or plead. NC since I walked out her door. Zero. Took it like a man. I don't want her back or care, but they don't always come back.
5 months into no contact and I do have weak days but I remind myself the reasons why I left and I am worthy enough to be reached out to if he thinks I am valuable.
Same here its been 5months , but I broke NC already now its been a confusing stuff , getting mix signal , and ignored for 10 to12 days till I text again and getting excuses again from her , it's been another 11 days now again, she ignored me...idk what to do anymore
@@doubleJJ01 yes you do. You know exactly what to do. What are we doing waiting on someone and counting the days when they’ll text us next? Focus on your hobbies, focus on eating healthy taking care of your self watch your favorite movies spend quality time with friends DO NOT message this person. I’m sure they will lose respect for you if you keep messaging and they keep ignoring deliberately. We are living for US now not them.
@@Adelina24244 it's so hard though , I miss her terribly, it was her who was soo invested in me at first , once I'm attached to her she left me , blame shift to me for the things she did , it should have been her to Apologize to me but instead I tried to fixed things up bcuz of her breaking my trust....she blame me for all of these...since 23rd March I broke NC and its been cold and distance and now 12days and when ever I told her to stop ignoring me She replied " I admitted I ignored you but its up to you to think whatever you want " it's so hurtful asking me to think whatever I want while she ignores me
@@Adelina24244 it's just painful for me , I really miss her terribly, I really want her to text me , and to stop blame shifting to me , I really want to reach out , I also know deep down in my heart I tried so much, I just can't see her with another man It hurts me every day I miss everything, I wonder why she would never even bother of texting me atleast for once
"Snickers is not gonna help me, so im using the discipline and I know what I really want. I want to be healthy." Actually I do have a discipline when it comes to energy drinks which I used to drink everyday, but now I don't. I really didn't know it's a discipline. Guys, stay strong, and don't listen to your own excuses for contact. I did NC for over a month and I feel (hard) but good overall. I get better. Coach Lee was like my oxygen provider 3 days after the breakup, and have been one for another 3,5 weeks. Now I come back sometimes and always find bonus info that helps me get my dignity back
My ex broke up with me just before Christmas (2 days). Of course I cried several times & tried to tell him that I loved and missed him. Each time he became aggressive and angry and also threatened to go to his family, i.e. to leave the apartment. Now he's looked at a few apartments... I'm just afraid that once he's moved out, he'll get distracted and won't miss me because, according to him, he wants to close this case... I'm scared that because he's already moved and has the support of his family (who don't like me), he won't think about me and miss me. I really did my best in the relationship... He broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore, we had several small arguments. I moved an extra 300 km here... I would be so grateful for a little advice...
I’m going thru something similar and honestly I did everything possible to get this woman back and she still left to someone else. Once that happened I stopped texting her and stopped everything she was used to me doing now I’m in NC. You have to not give a damn and move on they don’t care. Even if they do they would at least show you they did but they don’t. Move on sis. You’re a woman you can get a date so fast, as a man though… I know I’m going to be alone for a bit hehe.
Same feelings here. Such bs clichés and ideals we've learned from movies and then people who watch said movies..LAST time i saw her it was late unknown to me rebound of 4months had just left and her mom who lived 3hrs away had passed the day b4. I waited years to meet parents. She makes dumb comment I wasnt there to.take her. She didnt call to invite lol. I went.with the shit premise:fight for women u love"..nit knowing its would push away
This is very true video honestly gents. I wish I seen it long time ago when my ex asked for divorce I could have saved my dignity because she mugged me off as I was texting and chasing her trying to save the family that I have child with. I regret managing that time with my stupid attitude that showed her that I should be mugged off and honestly I regret acting like that. I honestly wish I could have seen and understood that video during that time 😢😢
I think it’s easy to talk about relationships than marriages. Love is also a verb. Be aware of what your spouse needs and communicate with clarity. One thing will change your life.
This really make me much better..I don't really giving a fudge how he feels but I have difficulties to get back to reality in this early break-up stage
I meet a man I fall in love madly in a month ...was connection in all ways...I could see myself settling down with him...I am in my late 30's ...He told me initially he is divorced , he lives alone and we spent time together and have lot in common..was all fast and intense. Then when I asked more later in details I found out he is separated...One evening i exploded in a message saying that hurted me and I cannot lie my family for me is important or put up hearing about his ex and other circumstances ....he took it really deep and not admitted he mistaken...He told me he needs a break and to not message him...I got 6 days resisting not in contact...have been the hardest in my life ...painful i keep wonder if he will come back...is our first disagreement and he took it so deep
My ex broke up with me after 5 yrs. Communication was an issue, and he brought up something that we had discussed and was fine that then became a deal-breaker. I have gone no contact and moved on. The hardest thing to do. It's rough for sure, but I also know I am doing the right thing for me.
That's a common thought pattern, especially with women, that their lover should fight for them, earn their love, especially if the guy made some mistake, then they would have to redeem themselves with triple the amount of effort or she may even switch focus to some of the other guys available. It's been around since ages and popularized by Disney and what not. Our individualistic broken society with apparently "endless options" further enhances that thought - everyone only deserves the "best", the one who fights or competes the most, often in materialistic ways.
My ex wife is always leading me on especially whenever we are exchanging our kids for custody every time I drop them off she always tries to invite me inside to talk and starts to ask me how I’m doing and get information on my life but always says that she doesn’t want to get back together( since she is with her rebound) I don’t want to continue giving her any more updates on my life is no contact the best option
Broke up on Sunday, told me to get out the house, I said alright cool. Her ex bf was always stalking her etc, once I ssid I will speak to him, she got very defensive he has a boy with his baby mama, not my girl, she was like I don't want his kid to be without a dad and suffer without one, I was like that's your choice and not your responsibility, met on Sunday night bc she left her keys in my car and I said come collect it made her travel 250 miles to come collect, started waving at me like nothing happened and said are you OK, literally kept it nonchalant and gave the keys and walked away back to my car. She hadn't blocked me on anything at all on socials, she views my story but I already went on other dates and posted them 🔥🔥... was only together for 3 months, ive been in no contact for 9 days straight now, i aint vieweing her stories at all.. any opinion on this (* UPDATE SHE UNFOLLOWED ME ON EVERYTHING EXCEPT SNAPCHAT BUT BLOCKED ME N WHATSAPP ALL OTHER ARE OPENED) IVE BEEN NO CONTACT FOR 10 DAYS NOW and keeping it like that
On a break for a week due to an argument, and her bringing up past mistakes of mine (that she made me believe are solved and talked about and it’s all good now) avoided meeting up to talk about it. Broke up with me on Christmas Eve, over text, it’s been 5 weeks in no contact. She has liked two reposts of mine on TikTok, and has reposted a video herself saying “when they only care about the one mistake you made but ignore all the good things you did for them” It made no sense to me since she was the one pointing out my mistakes, and ignoring the good?! I decided to let it be, treat it as a breadcrumb. I’ve no update, nothing has happened since. Any advice/encouragement is welcome, some days I’m okay, recently back in a spiral. I will update if anything happens.. if I don’t, you’ll know nothing did :(
Update - 30 Jan - Slowly starting to move on.. mild pain during the evenings most days. I’ve certainly learnt I don’t need this person to live. I believe I still love her but it’s fading. It becomes easier I guess. She is acting like she’s doing really well in her life (from her social media) so I’m sure she’s still in relief/curiosity stage even after 5 weeks. Id still take her back.. but my mind is slowly allowing me to think about not wanting this person back, and not rejecting the idea immediately :)
@@PK-zo1rpStay strong man, you got this, unfortunately for me my Ex sits infront of me in one of my classes so it's hard not to hurt when she is infront of me, best of luck to you 🙏🏻
@@cvoz7870I saw her today for the first time since.. she was alone but she left the building and came back with some guy I’ve never seen before.. it was harsh😅 your situation must be tough to see her everyday! I hope you’re keeping strong too, we have to show them what they lost💪
Saw her randomly today going for food. She was alone I was with family, she left immediately without a Hi, and then she came back with some guy I never met, it hurt.. still does. I met someone new as well but I think she doesn’t feel the same as me, still thinking about her despite this new person, and who knows how long they’ve been hanging out.. it still hurts guys.. I was doing better and just seeing her like that just set me back :(
Add on- I don’t think she’s coming back. At least not for a long time.. I wish we could’ve at least talked.. oh well. Good luck to everyone going through this! (6 weeks NC)
Ex wants to be friends. Something in my gut told me to tell her no. So I did. It seems to have changed her tune. She deactivated her facebook the next day. Haven’t talked to her since. Been about 5 days
@@jayc342009If I’ll be honest she did. She pulled away first. Possibly started seeing someone behind my back. Then I pulled away. I broke NC 3 times. Never begged. Never pleaded. She also never ignored me. She just doesn’t want to commit to me. But I’m no option, nor a backup plan for ANYONE
I wish I had actually watched videos like this in the beginning of my situation. Then maybe I wouldn't have made so many post-breakup mistakes. Hard when I see my ex every day.
The person who dumped me liked something essentially saying they want to be the one to leave first even when breaking up they said how I wasn't what they wanted but wanted to keep me as a friend. I don't plan to be an orbiter and I hate the idea they thought they could do that to me. At the moment I was sad and I've been more angry seeing how they moved on too quickly. Let them find that ideal person, I'm not their orbiter.
Coach Lee, Last few months I watched all of your videos. Im the one commenting as well with full of desperation. But I follow your advised - even my ex didnt come back. Its okay because I able to walked away with dignity. 😊
Lol, my ex hoped also, that I would fail and divorce would ruin my life. But on contrary, my life today is better than it was with her. After 20 years of being together and marriage, I hoped after divorce for 2 years, that she would reconsider. But she only got angrier after I started no contact and dated other women. Yes, sometimes it kind of still stings a little, but time heals. By the way she's especially hostile and makes things up, when I am rational and nice to her. Kind of blows my mind, why?
I left him because he was giving me the bare minimum and less than what I deserve. He acknowledged and said I was right and he has things he needs to sort through. I told him to sort through them and said I would reduce contact with him. There is no chance of a successful relationship unless he does this and retaining it would be lowering my standards of how I want to be treated. So I do want him to come to me…
In the most respectful way these videos put me to sleep lol. I listen to them as I fall asleep and just let new videos play in the Mix so tbh half these views are probably from me lol. I can listen to the same videos over and over and still get utility out of them.
I divorced my ex because he jumped into a rebound relationship and I knew I would never want him back even when their relationship broke up. Which it did.
I hat that question in my head, if she was thinking that I didnt care, and this question push me to reach her. This Video helps me. Thank you Coach Lee
Appreciate that u refrain from using curse words and profanity. Very professional. Alot of others try to give “professional” advice but often throw out the f word. Can’t take anyone like that seriously . And the worst are adults, worse than teenagers! Come on, grow up! As soon as I hear cussing, I click off the video and watch another one.
Profanity often displays an individuals raw emotion when they don’t have the articulation skills. I feel it quite immature how personal and offended this makes you 😂
After wacthing so many videos I realized I dont want my ex back anymore. During the 7 months I apologized, then after that se even contacted me a month later. But no I wont pursue anyone, if this is so hard to make it happen, then its not meant to be.
Been in no contact for 22 days .. we were living together & he broke up with me while he was at work through text I begged for a good hour but then just accepted it .. he tried 2 months prior but I had a mental breakdown which now I’m Embarrassed from 😫 it’s so cringe .. we were supposed to move into our new apartment 2 weeks after .. but after the breakup everything was normal he was cuddling me at night kissing me & telling me he loves me but I messed up & started a conversation I knew wouldn’t go well on our last day before we moved , I share his RUclips with him & I see him listening to the same sad love songs over & over but he has Apple Music with a wide variety of music he doesn’t even listen to music on there I think he wants me to see 😢 I miss him so much & cry everyday
We were together 5 years & 6 months , together since 16 & never had a break up in that whole relationship .. we had broken up 1 time a long time ago he dated other girls but they just cheated on him & he came back & we lasted 5 years don’t know if he will come back again
Update : he broke no contact 3 days ago at day 29 - 30 he FaceTimed me .. we talked on the phone til 4 am 😂 , we texted a little after I made sure I didn’t over do it .. & today he FaceTimes me again & says he’s gonna come over & he actually did 🥺 omg I love & missed him so much I thought we would never speak again !! No contact works if you do it right & wait for them to come to you first ❤❤ don’t know how ima take it from here but hopefully we get back together later down the road .. I was so scared & anxious ready to break no contact & as I was talking to my friend about breaking it he broke it by calling as I was talking about it.
The key I believe isn’t the “no contact”. Especially if you share children. That’s all but impossible. No, it’s simply the “not caring”. The more I “care” about my wife, the more I fight to hold on, she pushed further and further away. Now, due to my work schedule and my desire to focus more on the kids we are in somewhat of a “grey divorce”. She does what she wants. Sees who she wants. When I didn’t call and ask her where she was. She lashed out. Accusing me of using an “air drop” device. I didn’t even reply. The more I act like her behavior doesn’t bother me the more open she has become. To the point she has admitted to “sliding back in”. When I say “why is that so bad”? She pushes back. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve just enforced “do what you have to do”. Now, I don’t recommend this to everyone. I’m older. My wife is 11yrs younger. It requires ridiculous strength, not weakness. To allow someone to slide on a tether. When it comes to the psychological impact divorce can have on 11 and 10yr old boys, you do what is necessary to protect them. As long as they see mom and dad together and aren’t watching miserable RUclips vids about coping with mom and dad splitting, I’m happy. But I’ll tell you guys, had I never given up my control by showing her she was important I wouldn’t be here. I’ve talked to women during this “grey break”. I’ve never heard one say “my man just didn’t care what I did. Was indifferent to everything” They mostly became bored with their mates. If a woman thinks you aren’t interested it makes them want you even more. Remember that.
My girlfriend of 11 years broke up with me after a fight we have Dec 30th. Some pretty hurtful things were exchanged, and this fight had probably built up for a while. After breaking up with me, she threw the book at me. “You’re a narcissist, you’re emotionally and verbally abusing me, all I ever did was support you 100%, you hate me and you think I’m ugly, deep down you knew I wasn’t the one. You can’t provide for me”. She’s just projecting and angry, I get it but she truly believed or still believes those. Now, she’s getting advice from from her mom/sister who are her biggest causes of pain. When we bought a house, her mom told her we don’t deserve such a nice house. When I helped her successfully negotiate her new salary, her mom called her disgraceful and ungrateful. These are the people fighting against me. Every time she gets back from there on the weekends, she comes back hateful and softens up through the week. Does no contact work in these scenarios? I literally have an engagement ring in my pocket as I write this. Doesn’t feel real…
@@serwaahdorcas9369some people never change and you want to marry them but it’s something about them that doesn’t feel right to make that commitment. You talk to them about it but you know if it doesn’t change or gets better than it’s better safe than sorry.
It can work, Sam. But she needs to feel your total absence, and be stuck with her mom and sister and whoever else, without you. And you have to respect if it doesn't work, also. From the sounds of it, by "work" it would mean her coming to the realization by herself that her mother and sister are not good for her or her relationship with you. Anything short of this won't be good enough. Funny about the ring, good thing you didn't waste it on her. Right now, anyway.
I have a long list of missed calls from my ex, she is making an effort after dumping me early june. None of those calls were answered. She wont know this, but her jouney of never seeing or hearing from me again has begun
Broke up 2 months ago, and my ex would still contact me every now and then to see how I was doing and said she is ok with being distant friends. Everytime she would text I was not feeling ok she would remind me of all the good moments and how we cannot be together anymore cause of poor communication and I messed things during the heat of the moment. Tried to be friends but I couldn't move on and ask her to cut things off if she is not willing to work things out. Eventually after a few days she thought about it and decided to go with cutting things off. Now it's been 2 weeks since I started NC and I feel like she is not going to come back. I feel lost and I don't know what to do.
her reaching out to you is known as bread crumbing. Basically seeing if you would respond, and giving them the feeling they could get you back if they chose. her blaming you is pretty messed up. I know it hurts but if she reaches out again, it might be a good idea to not respond. Or if you do respond it could be something like "I still care about you, and would like to be with you, but I'm not interested in just being friends. I would appreciate it if you did not contact me again unless it's because you want to be more than friends too". And leave it at that. It takes time though. Most people seem to take 2 or 3 months... Them reaching out randomly is a way of soothing their pain, and making the breakup easier for them, while making it harder for you. It's not fair. Don't fall for bread crumbing.
@@Psych1_- This is valid but not if she’s asking me out on a date and wants to get back together then you have a win like i just got but that’s a success story you could say and you have to really love them and want them back if you don’t love them anymore then that’s different or if they cheated then yeah pce out👍🏻 4 years of being together is a longtime.
Don't worry man, my case she's not willing to work things out too , and she's the one flirting other dudes but I have to fixed things up , I did tried though but she reverse the role and play a victim role and start pointing at my flaws and says she don't know about the relationship. Every question I ask her why she flirt , if she wants to be with me , if she she still loves me or not... Her reply to all the questions is "idk" It's sooooo annoying bcuz I didn't get no answer at all...
Got an update, on 2/1/2024 I asked if she wanted to catch up and she said eventually she will, but on 2/22/2024 she removed me on Instagram, and said she will do it for Snapchat as well soon. I didn't wait I did the honor. She even mentioned she lost all feelings for me. I kind of felt she never really loved me she just had a habit of having someone to love her and she was enjoying that feeling. Well she left I felt bad cause my feelings are still there. I don't really trust if she will come back again. I'll just leave it to the universe
I’m always going to remember that cause I’ve heard it so my from my now ex narc. “I thought you would fight for me .” Nah you aren’t royalty and I’m not your peasant. Treat somebody else like you are above them. 3 months no contact , and 5 months split up.
@@richardDara-ot9zp yeah but what I’m confused on my ex told me to move on had her new boyfriend text me when I was only trying be friends in I am blocked that was in October in coach Lee said when u leave them alone they miss you but that part not true she don’t care about me at all so is just something’s u can believe in some u can’t she told me we will never ever be together in I still love her I made mistakes in I lost her
You really need to stop trying to be her friend now that's the worst thing you can do don't be no woman's emotional tampon don't ever allow yourself to be an option for anyone. Now I see why you don't really trust in Coach Lee because you got a really bad mindset right now but I understand you're hurt or maybe it's also your nature and you haven't been taught yet. But you need to get out of that mindset and value yourself and when you stop contacting her don't let her try to make you feel guilty for not contacting her... and I promise every time that her new boyfriend hurts her feelings or anything she's going to come running to you you don't want that!!!! Us as men it is our nature to protect what is ours but trust me man she's not yours it was just your turn she is totally disrespecting you having him message you. And a painful truth is that they probably even laugh at you don't do that to yourself you're worth more than that. Coach Lee's advice it's not only to get your ex back which I think you really shouldn't want her back But the main reason for the no contact is because you really do find yourself again do you really do get yourself back and you get stronger than ever start working on yourself start going to the gym start reading books start meditating do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better it's going to hurt right now and I'm sure you're in the world of hurt I'm with you right there You are not alone but don't contact her anymore until you are strong enough to be able to talk to her without her position in your life affecting you.
That’s deep yeah she was rude for that but the reason she had him text me because all the pain I cause her I disrespected her bad I treated her like nothing in that’s why but yeah I won’t ever contact her again she never loved me if she truly did she a apologize but she just like doing every guy like that she end up with
A few years ago, I watched coach lee to get my ex back, but I ended up getting my dignity back instead
And did your ex come back?
Well done 👏🎉 me too. I thought I will never get over him but eventually feelings started easing and I don't care what he is doing but it took 18 months. Karma has no expiry date 😁 God heard conversations I didn't hear and saw situations I didn't see.
@@kateryna5015 Ex never come back, they are enjoying new happy life with new lovers. You dream too much move on guys. They don't care if you go no contact, No contact is for you only
No contact is for you only. Ex never come back. move on guys
@@royromero5329 Don't get her back, she considered you are plan B. She got back to you bc her new boy friend dumped her, don't be a trash pin man (she didn't do good bj so he dumped her)
The Dumper at the beginning goes through relief and then loss in the end.
The Dumped at the beginning goes through loss and then in the end, Peace.
You do realise that some people dump because they had enough of being mistreated so that's not always true. Depends on the circumstances. Many people dump and don't look back just saying
@yaab8250 This only applies if the Dumped really loved the Dumper. Idc who you are, If you dump someone that really truly cared about you and loved you like no other, You're gonna feel it. Maybe not right away but as time goes by, The Dumper will remember how much the person they gave away loved them and that's when it will come back to bite them in the ass. Now some Dumpers come back and others realize they messed up and just move on anyway
@yaab8250 When the dumper leaves someone that truly loved them for no good reason is when this applies.
@@Layerlol Yes I agree with you there. Going into any relationship is a risk but when it comes to matters of the heart I just wish people would be honest and not be so malicious.
True
They allways come back when you don't care! Spot on
Only men
My ex recently made a video on Twitter. She was just talking about her life, and she mentioned me. She stated that we had to go our separate ways but was getting emotional. You could tell it affects her. She said, "I love him to death." Then repeated, I love him when mentioning me. Funny, she hated me when she left a year ago, now she "loves me to death." I've been in no contact, and she knows she essentially blew up the bridge between us. I think now she is experiencing regret to some extent and knows I basically don't care.
Problem is, once they drove you to NOT CARE, that’s when they want you and you struggle with the idea of how this may not be good for you anymore.
Woman want it all man but they continue to blow it!
@@curtisfiguried7760
I'm sorry it's not only women that do this. My ex husband drove me away, I tried to work it out with him but he didn't care back then. After one year, he came back, regreting what happened and asking for a New chance. But i was in love with a New Man (he's my husband right now) and i declined his offer.
Why he couldn't see my worth back then ? I dont know. But it's his loss.
@curtisfiguried7760 Yes, I am done. We get treated like crap when we love them, with some glimmers of love reciprocated here and there but when we finally want nothing to do with them anymore that's when we literally become celebrity status to them.
@@robpz448 that’s so toxic. Me and mine are separated now for 3 months. ( legally married ) Was toxic as crap. Literally, I was turning into a weekend alcoholic because I just wanted to be loved and be treated better than a working mule. I’m alone now and back on my workouts again. She had my bench all covered with crap. Animals messing all over the house. Sinks piled high. Never payed attention to me. She started out cute and feminine but became a man. 😞. And then they end up with the kids too and you find that the kids don’t really want to hang out with you, one on one because they’re influenced not to. It’s heartbreaking but what can you do? Coach says marriage is different than being single with no contact but she stops taking to me for days. I’m just going to let it go man. I did everything to try to be the man she needed. I’ve been so patient and sweet over the phone. Anyhow, her communication was never any good. We were destined for failure. Good luck on your end sir! Any hope with trying to make a woman happy….You might as well try to be Superman
Some partners are so toxic. It’s not even their fault. All upbringing , parents, influences around them in their formative years etc. That’s a reason to be empathic. But it sure ain’t a reason to let them walk all over their partner! As coach eludes to, regain your dignity/ personal integrity ! I’m a 37 year veteran of one woman. She’s still stunning in looks. Sex on legs! Mother to our 3 wonderful grown up kids. I’m 2 years living alone. I’ve been giving her the dark side of the moon , as coach says to do and guess what ?😂 he is correct! She’s on the way back ! For me though , there’s a massive BUT ! It’s now her turn to sweat it !! Listen to coach Lee and coach Ken, my men. They know !!💕🖖
2 or 3 years ago I was dealing with a divorce after 35 yrs and I stumbled upon this mans video about giving the woman the breakup and allowing space so she could miss me.
So Im sitting here and I see his picture on my screen and I yell 'Hey Babe, this is the dude who taught me how to win you back," She says tell him thanks. So Hey coach Lee... Thanks Man
Wow! Thank you for sharing this story! Are you happy together? 😊
Yes! Like two teenagers. Thanks for asking.
We had to lose each other to rediscover just how much we really like each other. @@kateryna5015
After my divorce over 2 years ago…. I have zero desire to even see her ever again. I wish her the best, far, far away from me.
I LOVE THIS!! ❣️❣️
Love this!
Using no contact for three weeks now after my ex cheated on me and moved out. I was so caught up in my love for her i tried to forgive and beg her to come back. Then i found this channel. Three weeks into NC and i truly have learned beauty is only skin deep with some people. My mental and physical health is on the rise. Now I see she doesnt actually deserve my time or attention anymore. Its will always be her loss not mine. No rebounds, just healing and accepting my life is on a new path without her. No resentment towards her either. This combination has saved my life....Stay strong people you can all overcome the pain and dead memories.
Keep it going bro you'll make it, you'll be fine you're doing great 💪🏼
The real test is when she realizes or feels that she lost you and contacts you out of nowhere.
Stay in your frame and keep taking care of yourself and keep watching these videos.
If the situation does arise look up Coach Lee on the search (before you answer her text) with that exact situation and he more than likely will have a video for it.
Pelo menos você está sofrendo nos estados unidos!
Did she ever repent or wanted you back aftwr NC?
@sally3625 suffering is suffering. But he said he's not suffering anymore. It doesn't matter where you live. You can be in paradise and a broken heart sucks. Your comment had nothing to do with the video. 😂
@@eileenfuentes6975 it's a joke 😊
Eu queria estar sofrendo nos estados unidos 😭
Listen to coach. 1 month. 1 week. He texted me today asking how I’ve been, and now we’re meeting up for dinner tomorrow. They do get curious. They haven’t stopped thinking about the end of the relationship. Your absence is felt. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. The work pays off. Good luck ❤️
Any updates?
So you got left for something better and because they couldn't find better and now want to just settle for you? That's progress?
Don't fall for his phony regret.
@@Gbb93 yeah well I’m a woman and it’s been 5 weeks and I don’t expect to hear from him again.
@@Leaveitalone1382 only 5 weeks? Thats not enough time. I promise you, remember this thread and come back to give us the update WHEN he reaches out to you in probably another few months. He will. Especially if he knows you’re getting a lot of attention and doing well. A little tip, from a man, level up your body. But whatever you do, if he dumped YOU, don’t ever contact him first.
2023 was the worst year in my life. I started no contact in hopes to get back with her. Now I truly don't care anymore and my mental is so much healthier ever since. Dating has become an enjoyment again as I realized there are other people who are far better than my controlling ex!
Wish I would get better
Be careful, remember that your ex pulled you in by being amazing in the beginning. These other women are using the same bait.
Congratulations. Truly happy for you 😊
Everyone starts off amazing and becomes controlling later
Great job not waiting around for an ex who doesn’t want you.
Exactly! Years of committed relationship. Got dumped a year ago. I distanced myself but allowed being “friend zoned” by him. Dumper got tired with rebounds that failed. Anxiously, asked me to call him, but with a “come to me” attitude. Thanks but no thanks. Going strong on NC for one month. Working on self growth. He isn’t worth the time anymore 🎉
Men almost always come back
I’m glad I’m over with my ex thanks to Coach Lee. I promise myself not to answer his call text message etc. after my sister passed away I don’t give a fudge being in a relationship anymore. I miss my sister more than my ex. I’m done I’m over.
Then why are you here explaining your grief then?
Sorry for your loss. You can’t replace your sister. If someone doesn’t appreciate you. You will have someone who will
@@sloanmagnum5009
What is wrong, if you explain you grief. Don’t be rude.
The new relationship was a distraction from having to come to terms with what she did. Always was.
It's amazing how they use Flying Monkeys to check in for them. I've had this happen recently. I also learned a valuable lesson....(" Never tell a friend what you don't want the enemy to know." ) Stay on your toes and good luck!
COACH LEE. I will forever be in your debt . You’ve helped me so much throughout my recent breakup . You helped me threw a dark pint in my life and helped me keep hope and composure. And everything you’d aid worked in the matter of weeks
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Kudos to those who are practicing no contact. I wish I knew about all this long ago.
I was hoping I wouldn't be back listening to Coach Lee, but here I am. Same relationship I've been struggling with for six months. I thought I was going to break today if I didn't see him, but I pushed through. Yes, my dignity is at stake. But, *he* has to come to his own realization about certain things in his life. If this is who God wants for me, several obstacles need to be removed, that only he and God can fix. He knows I chose him. Only time will tell if he chooses me, and if this relationship is in God's Will. In the meantime, I need to make daily choices that are in my best interest, and allow him, if it is his desire, to choose me. I don't want to coerce anyone's love. It wouldn't stick in the long run anyway.
Same I’m back here for the second time. Thinking I was getting back together with my ex but back to same situation. He says he loves me. His friends say he is in love with me. But if he wants to throw it away, there’s nothing I can do. Only so long can do the emotional rollercoaster
I mean, it looks like God is trying to remove him from your life and you're ignoring that.
I took my final bow 5 weeks ago. Went around in circles about 4 times in 10 months and I finally said enough. The pain is horrific. But I am truly done.
Your story is mine to the letter. I pray daily for healing of my heart and soul and for complete surrender to God’s holy will. God is close to the broken-hearted.
Stronger than yesterday. Now it’s gonna be my way. Loneliness ain’t killing me no more ! Stronger !🖖💕
I'm getting myself a snickers bar
Attraction and attraction dynamics, are different between male and female
I don’t think people mean “fight for them” I think people mean apply pressure, show effort. Which I feel 100% should be demonstrated. You left me, show me why you want me back. You definitely need to earn my love back. I lost it when you lost your mind and did whatever you did to me.
With that, I agree.
I love coach Lee scolds people for their bullshit. Good on this man
To all those...im 23x days NC.. its soul destroying...anxiety on nuclear levels...tears till my body has dried up...memories good times....can't focus...but ive decided to leave it to fate...if its meant to be it will be....hard i know but leave it to destiny you tubers!....dnt rebound cuz they will still be on ur mind and is not fair to the other person...Destiny
5 months. The worst will be about one to 2 months after the breakup. Hold on. Just hold on. It will pass.
Meditation bros. Try law of attraction solutions
Hang there bro!! We on the same time line, had more HIGH days than LOW days so that’s a plus.. mental is getting better 💪🏽💪🏽😎hang in there for your dignity
@@goranhajduk1992agreed that’s where it got the worst for me, between 1-2 months. Like it was almost worst after a month but now that it’s been two I’m feeling pretty detached but miss having a connection with someone. At this point it’s less an urge to contact but a regret that I haven’t contacted him and just overall advice on life post heartbreak that I come back to this guys’ videos.
@@bladimiragurcia4720 thanks bro....sad thing is I dropped my guard...stayed loyal deleted all side dishes to keep main dish...then I get the unsure feelings talk...I said ok cool...NC since still NC...what will be will be....never dropping my guard again guys...
OMG, it works perfectly 💯
She came back after 3weeks
Thanks Coach Lee.
I couldn't believe this.
If it’s possible to be in a situation where you Don’t see her anymore then it’s a lot easier to make the time pass. If you’re in a situation where you have to see her weekly, it sucks
I amaze myself with the ability to shake situations that are not meant for me. Move on and never come back😊😊
6 1/2 months after the BU/strict NC. Still love him but it does get better. Therapy, medication, prayer, your videos, and LOA videos have all helped tremendously. Amazing things are happening in my life right now and I’m very grateful to be out of that thick darkness 🙏🏻 I still cry and feel sad but I know I’m going to be okay. I’ve really grown as a person during this entire process. I feel like a kinder and more understanding individual now.
Everybody, feel all your feelings. Cry your eyes out. Exercise, journal, make plans with friends, eat health. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY!! Treat yourself like you would your best friend. It gets better, I promise you 🙏🏻 From someone who thought her life no longer had meaning and wanted to give up. Hang in there.
❤
Which LOA videos have you been watching and what kind of amazing things are happening in your life? Thanks for any insights.
Journalling. Its really helping. Writing an ongoing letter that I may never share. reading how I am healing and growing.
Dignity is so vital
Remembering to keep ones dignity is a huge reminder. I've been in NC for 2 months and 2 weeks. During the break up phone call, I agreed with him that things weren't working out, and I wasn't fighting going to fight about it, I asked, do we want to talk about this? And he said, no, we've tried to talk about stuff before and it didn't go anywhere...ouch...I guess that's true. And I still feel this urge to reach out to him. It's madness on my part. But I need to keep my dignity and not reach out to someone who doesn't want to talk about it. Sigh. Thanks Coach Lee for all of your reminders, I subscribed to your channel.
5 weeks here. The end
I like all the fudge Coach Lee throwing in between the sentences😂
Exactly! I noticed a lot and just a behave sarcasm! Lol
I came back to watch a coach lee video to reminisce on the times I would BINGE this guys videos to help me get through my breakup. Just wanted to say that I appreciate you and if it weren’t for you I can guarantee I would’ve made it much worse for myself at the time. I’ve made it through the other side and I’m over the breakup now and completely healed after a year and a half. But still, I’m always gonna be a huge fan of coach lee
Thank you Alex. I hope you’ll refer me to people you know who go through breakups!
@@RealCoachLee already have and will continue to do so 👍🏽
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
I know another spiritual councelor and he is free :
His name is Jesus. Call him, any Time, anywhere !
🙏😇
When a woman decides to leave let her go. The more you try to win her back the weaker and less attractive you look in her eyes. If you totally ignore her after the breakup and go your separate ways odds are 50:50 that she will contact you within the next 5 years. If a guy puts a lot of effort into winning her back the odds drop to nil. Also, contrary to the woke trend fantasy, women do not get better with age.
"You are better than that, i hope" coach is a savage 😂
Well done all you beautiful people who have been in NC for many months and gone through hell after being dumped .. I know what it’s like but we got through it .. I had a FaceTime call after two years of NC which I genuinely missed .. I won’t reply as it’s only breadcrumbs or to relieve any regrets they have .. Keep strong everyone, and like coach Lee says only respond to genuine and substantial messages 🤷🏼♂️🙏🏼
Dignity is key. Having dignity will cause clearer thinking about the relationship. When i look back at my last couple breakups with my sense of dignity intact, i saw how much i was giving in the relationship and how much they were taking. When that clear thinking sets in, the attraction and ruminations just evaporate. Then the realization the person that dumped me is likely having more regrets and sadness because they now see they gave up on a good situation.
ive stayed out of contact for over 3 months recently they contacted me about what i wanted to do with tickets we had to a couple shows together i stayed kind courteous but damn just that little bit of contact with her brought back all the fkin feelings and left me struggling through the rest of the day. thanks for some words of wisdom man avoiding contact has helped me for sure
Man I literally just went through the same exact thing just a few days ago after about 40 days NC. Feels like that contact set me back quite a bit. I feel for ya.
i started talking to someone new and it is crazy how much clarity it brings. things are completely platonic and my mindset has shifted to a much healthier space.@@jakeindyrealtor
They just curious what you are up to. Just ignore it. They will come back. If they truly loved you.
Did they get back?
@@johnlivingstone1749 i ended up buying her ticket off her and nothing since. she pops up in my head every couple days sometimes multiple days. it gets harder before it gets easier man. i recently went to a friends birthday, showed up early talked to pretty much everyone in our mutual friend group including the birthday star but left after greeting her when she showed up last.
Dignity over everything guys. Trust me it's worth it.
Coach Lee genuinely love you man for all you’ve done for so many of us. Wish you practiced in Georgia I’d be a client for sure! God bless you brother and be well, thanks again.
I appreciate your kind words. You can actually book a session with me at myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/
@@RealCoachLee please I'm.a Christian I'm being faithful to him for for 26 years God knows . From my heart. I'm not perfect we argue but he knows me. When he make lough after 10 minutes we are fine. We don't keep fighting. We're absolutely happy seems like we didn't argue that moment. He just confused in his life. I always convince him. We have God. Have faith and hope. Everything is under control in God. Please give Answer so i will have gor my husband. I'm married to him. I will never do anything against my husband .God knows how faithful I am to him. In Jesus name
For the last two months I've avoided watching videos about breakups and reconciling because I didn't want to give myself any hope. After four months of breakup I'm still struggling to move on. This month was so much better than the last 3 months. But since the last few days I've been feeling really low. I feel depressed. It's an important time for me but I'm unable to control myself from feeling depressed. It is affecting my work. I'm frustrated at myself. I know it's anything but natural, still I'm frustrated. I've started to hate that person. But deep down I know I still long for him. It's confusing and frustrating.
The darkest hours are before the dawn.
Its really hard & exactly as you described. Sending you HUGS from Poland
How are you holding up?
It took me about 8 months to be able to start being more positive and another 6 to be over it. It takes a lot of time if you truly loved rhem
For those here seeking hope, of long term relationships, only about 5% get back together and it takes 2 to 7 years with one of you staying single. When a girl leaves, take her at her word and move on or you'll stay stuck and overanalyzing things. If she left you once, she'll do it again. Don't settle and don't forget the role you played in the breakup. If you're either defensive, critical, hold contempt or stonewall, learn the antidote or your relationships will fail.
I can't wait for this one.. my ex just broke up with me the day before her birthday this past December 16th
Indirectly messaged me on messenger today saying that my ex-mother-in-law is so funny posting these superimposed pictures of herself...
as if I really cared..
I didn't ignore her but I just kept it short and moving along.
I guess she misses me but I'm healing pretty good and in no contact taking care of myself.
Thank you again Coach I ran into your videos in early 2020 when I was super injured from losing who I thought was the love of my life
And now I'm just back dealing with another breakup, but it's even easier this time with all the knowledge I gained from 2020.
Wait wait did we all get dumped by girls born on December 16 or were we dating the same chick?
@@jayday187Sounds like you two were sharing the same hole.
@@mahdman3😂😂
I have a question.
Why do they miss us but never come back?
@@jayday187 😂 mines is in the Dominican Republic, but that would definitely be 🤣
He wants to be “just friends” now. But when I said I wasn’t interested he became uncomfortable. This is never going to end
@@billy77511 I have. Not one word. He’s not coming back
Coach Lee, I’ve been looking into narcissism and started to wonder this about my ex, I had some red flags. Always blaming me, no empathy etc but when you said the thing about “not fighting for me” and said the word Narcissist, it genuinely made my adrenaline fire. Because that’s exactly what I had, like it was almost made out that the break up was my fault as well as I didn’t fight or show that i cared. I’m starting to get freaked out that my mental deterioration over the time I was with her was largely due to her being a narcissist. Scary stuff and she seemingly is so innocent and always the victim
She certainly sounds like a miserable partner, let alone wife. You might have dodged a bullet. It could turn out to be a blessing!
@@RealCoachLee thanks Coach Lee, still feel the loss but feel I’m finding my old self again. Still wishing for closure as she never saw me face to face and still has stuff as mine which I’ve no idea what’s gonna happen with that. But deep down I’m more and more certain she was poison to me
Only coach online keeping my sanity in these dark times.
I've wished her the best of luck with future goals and she just blames me says I never loved her, my self respect is more valuable than her insecurities. I'm not completely over her I just don't have the energy to deal with it
The whole "show them your effort is zero, they're the ones who walked away, they're the ones who have to walk back" really hit home for me. After my husband quietly checked out and then walked out on me 6 months ago, I have been chasing. I just got to the point of being ready to divorce, and when I said I'm done. If you won't even see me after 6 months, that is your right, but my right is to say this doesn't work for me. If you want a divorce, you got it. Now he wants to meet up. Hopefully it goes well but it has been so long, I have no idea if there's anything left after all the hurt he put me through
what happened?
Yikes. So he’s going. To walk all over youbthen
Thanks Coach. Your wisdom and advice has gotten me through multiple breakups. I followed the no contact and she reached out to me after two months. However, I made the mistake to give her a chance right away and not earning my love. After two months she became distant again not answering my calls and taking over a day to respond to my texts; and I decided to have cojones and draw the line.
I told her if you can't make me feel valued and special, i need to move on. However I left the door open and told her to take to take her time and space.
She replied "I agree. I wish you the best of luck". I never replied to her last text.
We are back in no contact😂. On a side note. I'm a straight male, but you have beautiful hair 😂. No disrespect. Thanks Coach!!!
My ex reached out 2 days ago we spoke and I was really calm. Haven’t spoke since so just back in no contact hoping she messages again but no contact clearly works. Thank you coach Lee
Sounds like a success story in the making.. keep calm, back to focusing on yourself. 5 weeks here. Strength to us both🍻
@@PK-zo1rp thanks mate. Good luck to you
How long do you in NC with your ex?
Going on 20 months here. Didn't beg or plead. NC since I walked out her door. Zero. Took it like a man. I don't want her back or care, but they don't always come back.
@@laolooo about 4 weeks mate
Cool video. I was dumped from a 15 year long distance relationship and been in NC for 51 days and taking one day at a time with Coach Lee
Once again coach Lee, you have nailed it ! You are on point. Thank you for your devotion and commitment to helping others.
Coach Lee? More like Coach G! Thank you.
This has crossed my mind, because when he called afew months back, I didn't answer or return call, as I was still too upset 😒
5 months into no contact and I do have weak days but I remind myself the reasons why I left and I am worthy enough to be reached out to if he thinks I am valuable.
Did he reach out? He never initiated contact to me Zahra
Same here its been 5months , but I broke NC already now its been a confusing stuff , getting mix signal , and ignored for 10 to12 days till I text again and getting excuses again from her , it's been another 11 days now again, she ignored me...idk what to do anymore
@@doubleJJ01 yes you do. You know exactly what to do. What are we doing waiting on someone and counting the days when they’ll text us next? Focus on your hobbies, focus on eating healthy taking care of your self watch your favorite movies spend quality time with friends DO NOT message this person. I’m sure they will lose respect for you if you keep messaging and they keep ignoring deliberately. We are living for US now not them.
@@Adelina24244 it's so hard though , I miss her terribly, it was her who was soo invested in me at first , once I'm attached to her she left me , blame shift to me for the things she did , it should have been her to Apologize to me but instead I tried to fixed things up bcuz of her breaking my trust....she blame me for all of these...since 23rd March I broke NC and its been cold and distance and now 12days and when ever I told her to stop ignoring me She replied " I admitted I ignored you but its up to you to think whatever you want " it's so hurtful asking me to think whatever I want while she ignores me
@@Adelina24244 it's just painful for me , I really miss her terribly, I really want her to text me , and to stop blame shifting to me , I really want to reach out , I also know deep down in my heart I tried so much, I just can't see her with another man It hurts me every day I miss everything, I wonder why she would never even bother of texting me atleast for once
"Snickers is not gonna help me, so im using the discipline and I know what I really want. I want to be healthy."
Actually I do have a discipline when it comes to energy drinks which I used to drink everyday, but now I don't. I really didn't know it's a discipline.
Guys, stay strong, and don't listen to your own excuses for contact.
I did NC for over a month and I feel (hard) but good overall. I get better.
Coach Lee was like my oxygen provider 3 days after the breakup, and have been one for another 3,5 weeks.
Now I come back sometimes and always find bonus info that helps me get my dignity back
My ex broke up with me just before Christmas (2 days). Of course I cried several times & tried to tell him that I loved and missed him. Each time he became aggressive and angry and also threatened to go to his family, i.e. to leave the apartment. Now he's looked at a few apartments... I'm just afraid that once he's moved out, he'll get distracted and won't miss me because, according to him, he wants to close this case... I'm scared that because he's already moved and has the support of his family (who don't like me), he won't think about me and miss me. I really did my best in the relationship... He broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore, we had several small arguments. I moved an extra 300 km here... I would be so grateful for a little advice...
I feel your pain, don’t worry it will get better soon
I’m going thru something similar and honestly I did everything possible to get this woman back and she still left to someone else. Once that happened I stopped texting her and stopped everything she was used to me doing now I’m in NC. You have to not give a damn and move on they don’t care. Even if they do they would at least show you they did but they don’t. Move on sis. You’re a woman you can get a date so fast, as a man though… I know I’m going to be alone for a bit hehe.
@@saulescamilla3605 thank you so much… yeah they would show up if they would miss… 😞 thank you!
Same feelings here. Such bs clichés and ideals we've learned from movies and then people who watch said movies..LAST time i saw her it was late unknown to me rebound of 4months had just left and her mom who lived 3hrs away had passed the day b4. I waited years to meet parents. She makes dumb comment I wasnt there to.take her. She didnt call to invite lol. I went.with the shit premise:fight for women u love"..nit knowing its would push away
Any updates?
This is very true video honestly gents. I wish I seen it long time ago when my ex asked for divorce I could have saved my dignity because she mugged me off as I was texting and chasing her trying to save the family that I have child with. I regret managing that time with my stupid attitude that showed her that I should be mugged off and honestly I regret acting like that. I honestly wish I could have seen and understood that video during that time 😢😢
Thank you for these videos. He moved a few years ago and we don't talk but listening to your videos is comforting.
I think it’s easy to talk about relationships than marriages. Love is also a verb. Be aware of what your spouse needs and communicate with clarity. One thing will change your life.
This really make me much better..I don't really giving a fudge how he feels but I have difficulties to get back to reality in this early break-up stage
Excellent !! The true master relationship coach bravo 👏 I love you coach Lee ♥️😊
I just want to say thank you; My girlfriend of two years got back with me after five days! 😅
Coach Lee is a gift to us
Thank you so much for all your work, Coach Lee
Coach Lee gives me the strength to not break her no contact. Even though I'm the one who messed things up.
Mr Coach Lee, sometimes I feel like my personality has gotten darker since I met him, and I don’t no if I like it.
I meet a man I fall in love madly in a month ...was connection in all ways...I could see myself settling down with him...I am in my late 30's ...He told me initially he is divorced , he lives alone and we spent time together and have lot in common..was all fast and intense. Then when I asked more later in details I found out he is separated...One evening i exploded in a message saying that hurted me and I cannot lie my family for me is important or put up hearing about his ex and other circumstances ....he took it really deep and not admitted he mistaken...He told me he needs a break and to not message him...I got 6 days resisting not in contact...have been the hardest in my life ...painful i keep wonder if he will come back...is our first disagreement and he took it so deep
My ex broke up with me after 5 yrs. Communication was an issue, and he brought up something that we had discussed and was fine that then became a deal-breaker. I have gone no contact and moved on. The hardest thing to do. It's rough for sure, but I also know I am doing the right thing for me.
That's a common thought pattern, especially with women, that their lover should fight for them, earn their love, especially if the guy made some mistake, then they would have to redeem themselves with triple the amount of effort or she may even switch focus to some of the other guys available. It's been around since ages and popularized by Disney and what not. Our individualistic broken society with apparently "endless options" further enhances that thought - everyone only deserves the "best", the one who fights or competes the most, often in materialistic ways.
I stayed in no contact for 59 days then it was his first reaching out
What was the outcome
@@imperialgrind3128I think the people in the comments saying it works are shills
My ex wife is always leading me on especially whenever we are exchanging our kids for custody every time I drop them off she always tries to invite me inside to talk and starts to ask me how I’m doing and get information on my life but always says that she doesn’t want to get back together( since she is with her rebound) I don’t want to continue giving her any more updates on my life is no contact the best option
Gray rock her, have boundaries.
Speak to her only about the kids. Do not share personal information anymore.
One of my favorite video👍👍👍👍
Gives very good spiritual guidance in every situation
Thank you coach, you're reinforcing my no contact with this video
Broke up on Sunday, told me to get out the house, I said alright cool. Her ex bf was always stalking her etc, once I ssid I will speak to him, she got very defensive he has a boy with his baby mama, not my girl, she was like I don't want his kid to be without a dad and suffer without one, I was like that's your choice and not your responsibility, met on Sunday night bc she left her keys in my car and I said come collect it made her travel 250 miles to come collect, started waving at me like nothing happened and said are you OK, literally kept it nonchalant and gave the keys and walked away back to my car. She hadn't blocked me on anything at all on socials, she views my story but I already went on other dates and posted them 🔥🔥... was only together for 3 months, ive been in no contact for 9 days straight now, i aint vieweing her stories at all.. any opinion on this
(* UPDATE SHE UNFOLLOWED ME ON EVERYTHING EXCEPT SNAPCHAT BUT BLOCKED ME N WHATSAPP ALL OTHER ARE OPENED) IVE BEEN NO CONTACT FOR 10 DAYS NOW and keeping it like that
You are better off her. Her is already complicated. Stay in no contact . You will find later Someone free
On a break for a week due to an argument, and her bringing up past mistakes of mine (that she made me believe are solved and talked about and it’s all good now) avoided meeting up to talk about it.
Broke up with me on Christmas Eve, over text, it’s been 5 weeks in no contact.
She has liked two reposts of mine on TikTok, and has reposted a video herself saying “when they only care about the one mistake you made but ignore all the good things you did for them”
It made no sense to me since she was the one pointing out my mistakes, and ignoring the good?!
I decided to let it be, treat it as a breadcrumb.
I’ve no update, nothing has happened since.
Any advice/encouragement is welcome, some days I’m okay, recently back in a spiral.
I will update if anything happens.. if I don’t, you’ll know nothing did :(
Update - 30 Jan -
Slowly starting to move on.. mild pain during the evenings most days.
I’ve certainly learnt I don’t need this person to live.
I believe I still love her but it’s fading. It becomes easier I guess.
She is acting like she’s doing really well in her life (from her social media) so I’m sure she’s still in relief/curiosity stage even after 5 weeks.
Id still take her back.. but my mind is slowly allowing me to think about not wanting this person back, and not rejecting the idea immediately :)
@@PK-zo1rpStay strong man, you got this, unfortunately for me my Ex sits infront of me in one of my classes so it's hard not to hurt when she is infront of me, best of luck to you 🙏🏻
@@cvoz7870I saw her today for the first time since.. she was alone but she left the building and came back with some guy I’ve never seen before.. it was harsh😅 your situation must be tough to see her everyday! I hope you’re keeping strong too, we have to show them what they lost💪
Saw her randomly today going for food. She was alone I was with family, she left immediately without a Hi, and then she came back with some guy I never met, it hurt.. still does. I met someone new as well but I think she doesn’t feel the same as me, still thinking about her despite this new person, and who knows how long they’ve been hanging out.. it still hurts guys.. I was doing better and just seeing her like that just set me back :(
Add on- I don’t think she’s coming back. At least not for a long time.. I wish we could’ve at least talked.. oh well. Good luck to everyone going through this! (6 weeks NC)
Coach Lee is in the house, yeaaah!
Ex wants to be friends. Something in my gut told me to tell her no. So I did. It seems to have changed her tune. She deactivated her facebook the next day. Haven’t talked to her since. Been about 5 days
Smart never accept friendship
You did right
who broke it off?
@@jayc342009It was kind of mutual.
@@jayc342009If I’ll be honest she did. She pulled away first. Possibly started seeing someone behind my back. Then I pulled away. I broke NC 3 times. Never begged. Never pleaded. She also never ignored me. She just doesn’t want to commit to me. But I’m no option, nor a backup plan for ANYONE
I wish I had actually watched videos like this in the beginning of my situation. Then maybe I wouldn't have made so many post-breakup mistakes. Hard when I see my ex every day.
Man you're good. I subscribed after 8minutes of watching.
I appreciate the kind words and, of course, you subscribing!
The person who dumped me liked something essentially saying they want to be the one to leave first even when breaking up they said how I wasn't what they wanted but wanted to keep me as a friend. I don't plan to be an orbiter and I hate the idea they thought they could do that to me. At the moment I was sad and I've been more angry seeing how they moved on too quickly. Let them find that ideal person, I'm not their orbiter.
Coach Lee, Last few months I watched all of your videos. Im the one commenting as well with full of desperation. But I follow your advised - even my ex didnt come back. Its okay because I able to walked away with dignity. 😊
THANK YOU SO MUCH COACH LEE.
Thank you for this bro. Thank you so much 🙏
Lol, my ex hoped also, that I would fail and divorce would ruin my life. But on contrary, my life today is better than it was with her. After 20 years of being together and marriage, I hoped after divorce for 2 years, that she would reconsider. But she only got angrier after I started no contact and dated other women. Yes, sometimes it kind of still stings a little, but time heals. By the way she's especially hostile and makes things up, when I am rational and nice to her. Kind of blows my mind, why?
I left him because he was giving me the bare minimum and less than what I deserve. He acknowledged and said I was right and he has things he needs to sort through. I told him to sort through them and said I would reduce contact with him. There is no chance of a successful relationship unless he does this and retaining it would be lowering my standards of how I want to be treated.
So I do want him to come to me…
In the most respectful way these videos put me to sleep lol. I listen to them as I fall asleep and just let new videos play in the Mix so tbh half these views are probably from me lol. I can listen to the same videos over and over and still get utility out of them.
I divorced my ex because he jumped into a rebound relationship and I knew I would never want him back even when their relationship broke up. Which it did.
I hat that question in my head, if she was thinking that I didnt care, and this question push me to reach her. This Video helps me. Thank you Coach Lee
Why would you care about your ex?They showed you who they are when they played with your feelings and time...leave them in dust and move on
Amazing. I’m speechless.
Appreciate that u refrain from using curse words and profanity. Very professional. Alot of others try to give “professional” advice but often throw out the f word. Can’t take anyone like that seriously . And the worst are adults, worse than teenagers! Come on, grow up! As soon as I hear cussing, I click off the video and watch another one.
Profanity often displays an individuals raw emotion when they don’t have the articulation skills.
I feel it quite immature how personal and offended this makes you 😂
Well said.
Very nice and complete advise Coach.
After wacthing so many videos I realized I dont want my ex back anymore. During the 7 months I apologized, then after that se even contacted me a month later. But no I wont pursue anyone, if this is so hard to make it happen, then its not meant to be.
Been in no contact for 22 days .. we were living together & he broke up with me while he was at work through text I begged for a good hour but then just accepted it .. he tried 2 months prior but I had a mental breakdown which now I’m
Embarrassed from 😫 it’s so cringe .. we were supposed to move into our new apartment 2 weeks after .. but after the breakup everything was normal he was cuddling me at night kissing me & telling me he loves me but I messed up & started a conversation I knew wouldn’t go well on our last day before we moved , I share his RUclips with him & I see him listening to the same sad love songs over & over but he has Apple Music with a wide variety of music he doesn’t even listen to music on there I think he wants me to see 😢 I miss him so much & cry everyday
We were together 5 years & 6 months , together since 16 & never had a break up in that whole relationship .. we had broken up 1 time a long time ago he dated other girls but they just cheated on him & he came back & we lasted 5 years don’t know if he will come back again
You were 16 I promise you will always have a special place in there hearts later down the road. Stay strong
Update : he broke no contact 3 days ago at day 29 - 30 he FaceTimed me .. we talked on the phone til 4 am 😂 , we texted a little after I made sure I didn’t over do it .. & today he FaceTimes me again & says he’s gonna come over & he actually did 🥺 omg I love & missed him so much I thought we would never speak again !! No contact works if you do it right & wait for them to come to you first ❤❤ don’t know how ima take it from here but hopefully we get back together later down the road .. I was so scared & anxious ready to break no contact & as I was talking to my friend about breaking it he broke it by calling as I was talking about it.
The key I believe isn’t the “no contact”. Especially if you share children. That’s all but impossible. No, it’s simply the “not caring”.
The more I “care” about my wife, the more I fight to hold on, she pushed further and further away.
Now, due to my work schedule and my desire to focus more on the kids we are in somewhat of a “grey divorce”. She does what she wants. Sees who she wants.
When I didn’t call and ask her where she was. She lashed out. Accusing me of using an “air drop” device. I didn’t even reply.
The more I act like her behavior doesn’t bother me the more open she has become. To the point she has admitted to “sliding back in”. When I say “why is that so bad”? She pushes back. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve just enforced “do what you have to do”.
Now, I don’t recommend this to everyone. I’m older. My wife is 11yrs younger. It requires ridiculous strength, not weakness. To allow someone to slide on a tether. When it comes to the psychological impact divorce can have on 11 and 10yr old boys, you do what is necessary to protect them. As long as they see mom and dad together and aren’t watching miserable RUclips vids about coping with mom and dad splitting, I’m happy.
But I’ll tell you guys, had I never given up my control by showing her she was important I wouldn’t be here. I’ve talked to women during this “grey break”. I’ve never heard one say “my man just didn’t care what I did. Was indifferent to everything” They mostly became bored with their mates. If a woman thinks you aren’t interested it makes them want you even more. Remember that.
My girlfriend of 11 years broke up with me after a fight we have Dec 30th. Some pretty hurtful things were exchanged, and this fight had probably built up for a while.
After breaking up with me, she threw the book at me. “You’re a narcissist, you’re emotionally and verbally abusing me, all I ever did was support you 100%, you hate me and you think I’m ugly, deep down you knew I wasn’t the one. You can’t provide for me”.
She’s just projecting and angry, I get it but she truly believed or still believes those. Now, she’s getting advice from from her mom/sister who are her biggest causes of pain. When we bought a house, her mom told her we don’t deserve such a nice house. When I helped her successfully negotiate her new salary, her mom called her disgraceful and ungrateful. These are the people fighting against me. Every time she gets back from there on the weekends, she comes back hateful and softens up through the week.
Does no contact work in these scenarios? I literally have an engagement ring in my pocket as I write this. Doesn’t feel real…
How can you be in a relationship for 11 good years without marriage..what!!!
@@serwaahdorcas9369some people never change and you want to marry them but it’s something about them that doesn’t feel right to make that commitment. You talk to them about it but you know if it doesn’t change or gets better than it’s better safe than sorry.
I hope you went back and everything worked out fine.
It can work, Sam. But she needs to feel your total absence, and be stuck with her mom and sister and whoever else, without you. And you have to respect if it doesn't work, also. From the sounds of it, by "work" it would mean her coming to the realization by herself that her mother and sister are not good for her or her relationship with you. Anything short of this won't be good enough. Funny about the ring, good thing you didn't waste it on her. Right now, anyway.
I do not want him back, ever.
I have a long list of missed calls from my ex, she is making an effort after dumping me early june. None of those calls were answered. She wont know this, but her jouney of never seeing or hearing from me again has begun
Broke up 2 months ago, and my ex would still contact me every now and then to see how I was doing and said she is ok with being distant friends. Everytime she would text I was not feeling ok she would remind me of all the good moments and how we cannot be together anymore cause of poor communication and I messed things during the heat of the moment. Tried to be friends but I couldn't move on and ask her to cut things off if she is not willing to work things out. Eventually after a few days she thought about it and decided to go with cutting things off. Now it's been 2 weeks since I started NC and I feel like she is not going to come back. I feel lost and I don't know what to do.
Just go Batman mode, no contact till she reply’s stay stong 🙏🏻
her reaching out to you is known as bread crumbing. Basically seeing if you would respond, and giving them the feeling they could get you back if they chose. her blaming you is pretty messed up. I know it hurts but if she reaches out again, it might be a good idea to not respond. Or if you do respond it could be something like "I still care about you, and would like to be with you, but I'm not interested in just being friends. I would appreciate it if you did not contact me again unless it's because you want to be more than friends too". And leave it at that. It takes time though. Most people seem to take 2 or 3 months... Them reaching out randomly is a way of soothing their pain, and making the breakup easier for them, while making it harder for you. It's not fair. Don't fall for bread crumbing.
@@Psych1_- This is valid but not if she’s asking me out on a date and wants to get back together then you have a win like i just got but that’s a success story you could say and you have to really love them and want them back if you don’t love them anymore then that’s different or if they cheated then yeah pce out👍🏻 4 years of being together is a longtime.
Don't worry man, my case she's not willing to work things out too , and she's the one flirting other dudes but I have to fixed things up , I did tried though but she reverse the role and play a victim role and start pointing at my flaws and says she don't know about the relationship. Every question I ask her why she flirt , if she wants to be with me , if she she still loves me or not...
Her reply to all the questions is "idk"
It's sooooo annoying bcuz I didn't get no answer at all...
Got an update, on 2/1/2024 I asked if she wanted to catch up and she said eventually she will, but on 2/22/2024 she removed me on Instagram, and said she will do it for Snapchat as well soon. I didn't wait I did the honor. She even mentioned she lost all feelings for me. I kind of felt she never really loved me she just had a habit of having someone to love her and she was enjoying that feeling. Well she left I felt bad cause my feelings are still there. I don't really trust if she will come back again. I'll just leave it to the universe
I’m always going to remember that cause I’ve heard it so my from my now ex narc. “I thought you would fight for me .” Nah you aren’t royalty and I’m not your peasant. Treat somebody else like you are above them. 3 months no contact , and 5 months split up.
You aren’t her dancing monkey.
Thank you, good advice Coach Lee
His advice coach Lee seems like nothing he says is true because that’s what people thinks but I think he telling the truth
Coach Lee is absolutely on point his knowledge helped me heal in 2020
And the ex's do exactly what he said they'd do when you go no contact.
@@richardDara-ot9zp yeah but what I’m confused on my ex told me to move on had her new boyfriend text me when I was only trying be friends in I am blocked that was in October in coach Lee said when u leave them alone they miss you but that part not true she don’t care about me at all so is just something’s u can believe in some u can’t she told me we will never ever be together in I still love her I made mistakes in I lost her
You really need to stop trying to be her friend now that's the worst thing you can do don't be no woman's emotional tampon don't ever allow yourself to be an option for anyone.
Now I see why you don't really trust in Coach Lee because you got a really bad mindset right now but I understand you're hurt or maybe it's also your nature and you haven't been taught yet.
But you need to get out of that mindset and value yourself and when you stop contacting her don't let her try to make you feel guilty for not contacting her... and I promise every time that her new boyfriend hurts her feelings or anything she's going to come running to you you don't want that!!!!
Us as men it is our nature to protect what is ours but trust me man she's not yours it was just your turn she is totally disrespecting you having him message you.
And a painful truth is that they probably even laugh at you don't do that to yourself you're worth more than that.
Coach Lee's advice it's not only to get your ex back which I think you really shouldn't want her back
But the main reason for the no contact is because you really do find yourself again do you really do get yourself back and you get stronger than ever start working on yourself start going to the gym start reading books start meditating do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better it's going to hurt right now and I'm sure you're in the world of hurt I'm with you right there You are not alone but don't contact her anymore until you are strong enough to be able to talk to her without her position in your life affecting you.
That’s deep yeah she was rude for that but the reason she had him text me because all the pain I cause her I disrespected her bad I treated her like nothing in that’s why but yeah I won’t ever contact her again she never loved me if she truly did she a apologize but she just like doing every guy like that she end up with
This is an awesome video! Thank you for the reassurance ❤
Coach Lee advice, worked for me..
My ex literally said she wanted me to beg for her ha ha
Oh...she knows I care, I just don't think she cares about how much I'm hurting and want her back.