CrimsonChick exactly, my group ended up on a cliffhanger with my character the last time i played and i haven’t heard from one player in almost a month. can’t start because her pet mount is important to the plot.
It took me a while at first to realize that the demon scenes weren't Jon Tron. I was like, wtf? computer screens, haha, oh wow... oh no... that's... that's the movie... that's the movie....
When the scene looks like it's been polished at production grade, features coherent plot and invests into the continuous character development - it's Jon fucking around.
"ARE YOU READY TO RPG?!" "Sorry, I can't do the usual time this week, how about Wednesday?" "Wednesday doesn't work for me, how about Tuesday?" "What if we did a late session?" "Sorry, I can't. I have really early shifts this week." "Can anyone do Thursday afternoon?" "Oh, yeah." "Thursday works." "Definitely, I can do Thursday." "Thursday afternoon it is, then." **Thursday afternoon** "Where is Josh?" "He said he'd be five minutes late. Has anyone heard from Cindy?" "No." "Pat?" **Two hours later** "Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. But I brought food!" "Josh!" "JOSH!" "Oh, where's Cindy? And Pat?" "Sigh. Guess it's another one-shot this time."
Yes, this! _They never leave!!_ I run a gaming night at the comic book shop I'm employed at, and that is so insanely accurate. Every single session is a bloody struggle to shoo everyone out so I can lock up the store. It's gotten so bad that we sometimes play a little longer in the parking lot. Or if it's an adult group, we might even take it to the bar across the street. I'm just too kind to my players.
@MadamFoogie sounds like you’re the root of the problem, enabler 🤷🏽♂️ That’s what you get for running a store selling candy bars & caffeine instead of xanax bars & codeine
+slayertakim1 there is none. It's like playing saints row but as a normal looking human, instead of some mutated hippo with a cockney accent that's skin is a dark blue. It just doesn't feel right.
This was terrible DMing. Giving the players characters instead of them making their own. Not letting them show mercy. I don't know if its just me, but they Leveled really fast. And not letting her save her friend, and saying it would be breaking character. like what?
Reminds me of a post somewhere "DnD Fearmonger: you serve a dungeon master and summon demons." "DnD dungeon master in reality: please stop trying to seduce the river, I'm begging you."
I can't get over the fact that the Necronomicon wasn't in some obscure or dead language It was in ARABIC I mean, why didn't one of them just download Duolingo at that point
@@Naokarma rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrff33rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr4rrrrr is a gt4 ffffffrftfrffrfffffffffffffffffffff 4ff and rfree fffffffff4fffffffff rdd fffffffffffffffff4fff 4ffff
D&D in this universe: “Our dice are tools of the Devil!” Real D&D: “If one more person rolls to seduce the horses pulling the cart, I’m dropping the Tarrasque on this board.”
@@NoxArcani-z4u Yup. Aragorn for instance really takes inspiration primarily from King David but also Jesus. He's of a bloodline that stretches back to a legendary golden age of their civilization (Numenor). His reunification of Arnor and Gondor into a single kingdom following the war has parallels to Judea and Israel in the Books of Kings. Both King David and Aragorn are known for their musical talents.
It’s so hilarious. My parents banned C S Lewis when I was growing up because, magic. Oh and also he was “Catholic or something” and my good protestant parents weren’t having any of that robe-and-incense bullshit
"DnD is evil because you use spells to kill people" Meanwhile, the cruel goblin rogue, along the rest of our party, taught the 15 year old half orc fighter how to write so that he could send a letter to his mom, telling her he was ok and was having a lot of fun with his new friends.
@@lorenzobellachioma8160 It's actually pretty funny because at the start most of us were trying to be mean, but at the end we just gave up completely and now we're nice. The mean lonely rogue started helping his new companions, the grumpy cleric started having fun with the party, the young half orc bard who feels abandoned by her mentor and father figure now thinks of the old tiefling druid who lost his wife and son as family, the half orc fighter is having fun with his new friends, the lonely elf druid is starting to trust people again, and the grumpy human fighter has made friends with a goblin, a dragonborn, an elf, a gnome, a tiefling and a couple of half orcs and is starting to realize non-humans are actually kinda nice. It's been a really fun mess.
@@chumbucket3475 Actually it turns out that most of the players in my party study animation and are also really into character design and storytelling. I believe that helped a ton to make the story of their characters so interesting. The whole thing feels like watching multiple movies at once, and I can't for the life of me say I have not enjoyed it.
My Grandma Ended up making the Same Argument but 20 minutes later I was helping her (89 year old Human Cleric)Find her (Dead Husband’s) Grave She Fell in love then 8 minutes Later Then the DM made it so She was my Real Grandmother
I still love how accusatory the dean or whoever is. "It's just imagination." "Is it?" "Well obviously, wait, did you think-" "Where are the bodies, Debby?"
Honestly, Mistress Frost is a terrible DM. She's forcing her players to fight and kill any enemy they come across instead of letting the players decide. I thought as a DM you're only supposed to describe what's happening, and not describe what the players are doing.
TheCameronMaster464 you are partially wrong, dms can describe what the players are doing, but dont make the decisions for them. But everything else is right
I wonder how that works, “you spare your enemy and extend your hand to raise them to their feet, suddenly, they knock you out and take everything you own. By the time you wake up, they are long gone”.
Dnd according to this: dark, addictive, seedy frat party Satan worshipping ritual Dnd in real life: Dm, with his head in his hands: no, you can’t have a “chicken crossbow” and I don’t even want to know what that is.
It's obviously a crossbow that fires off chickens instead of bolts. Imagine how angry the chicken would be after firing it off, it would maim just about anything it hit.
I once used an iron door as a shield after I punched it off it's hinges with a natural 20 for the rest of the campaign! DM was nice enough to make up stats for it too.
@@SollowP This is what Link does when he's had enough of getting his ass kicked by Cuccos. He just straps one into a crossbow and shoots it at his enemies. XD
Yeah, especially the whole "We'd have to spend the whole Saturday together alone in our dorm room, and there's totally nothing fun we could do there :P" bit felt like the intro to a porn.
Omg yeah, when the guy was like,”that was the best Rpg-ing in I’ve seen in 15 years!” I thought I miss-remembered this video and I almost left. Also when they’re talking about RPG-ing in their dorm I straight up thought the next shot would be them together in bed. Their always a second from making this movie NC-17
Can we please acknoweldge that the suicide note font and formatting works in the tract, but in real life I can't ignore that instead of writing her suicide note by hand, Marcie went to the trouble of actually opening up Microsoft word and picking a font, thinking "yeah this one looks good for my suicide note", typing it out, turning on her printer, printing it out, and then stepping up on a chair to hang herself. Amazing.
Also the fact that she clearly got changed before hanging herself but after black leaf died so she got home and got changed into a dress, because you got have suicide style am I right, then she printed the note and then she hung her self
Yes Jack Chick gave his approval for this but what a lot of people don't realize is that it was legitimately a group of Gamers that made this movie and they played it perfectly straight to jocks chicks vision because nothing they could come up with would make fun of it any better. This movie was actually first screened at Gencon
Fun fact, the writers of the movies actually got the moon god from an honest god chick tract that was made unironically where chick tries to convince you in all seriousness that Muslims are secretly worshipping the moon god
@Toxic Delirium the star and crescent in Islam were used as a symbol of the Ottoman empire in around the 13th-14th century and never before, the were then considered as a symbol for islam by most people since the Ottomans were the defacto rulers of the Muslim world (the religion itself has no symbols), as for the Lunar calendar, that has been used in the Arabian peninsula centuries before Islam existed as well as in many other places around the world.
Toxic Delirium Dude, Christianity has a firm base in paganism as well. No one’s saying Christians are secretly worshipping zeus or some shit. And as for why Islam continues to use the symbol, the Ottoman Empire was one of the largest and most influential predominantly muslim empires to exist. The Ottomans, and thus their symbol, basically became the face of Islam.
I thought CS Lewis was Anglican?Tolkien was a devout catholic so it'd be pretty surprising if they did attend the same church.It's pretty well documented that they were friends with each other though.
@@jeffreywilliams1347 Tolkien converted CS Lewis to Christianity, so it they probably did attend the same church for a time. CS was an atheist before he met Tolkien.
I swear to god the production on Jontron's videos match the movie so well I'm finding it hard to distinguish what is Jon's footage and what is the movie. For a minute I was like "is he punking us? Did he make this movie?" XD
@@OfficerHotpants Dude, your apparent criteria for whether or not someone deserves to die is whether or not they play with your toys. You should be locked up.
Dead Gentlemen made the movie. They made the Gamers 1 and 2, as well as Journeyquest and a bunch of other DnD movies. They were 1000% dunking on the source.
It's stupidly easy to get ahold of esoteric, cultist-looking rugs/tapestries and weird candles and candlesticks nowadays. Makes it easy for edgy Satanists to do their weird shit, and equally easy for neurotic Christians to do their counter-shit. Lots of shit, really.
"I think your hands are perfect for spellcasting. So delicate and small." Well damn it, no wonder my wizard is so weak. I should have written smaller hands into my backstory...
"Your Cleric has risen to the eighth level, I think it's time you REALLY learned to cast spells." Nice try witch lady, but if she's a cleric she just accessed the 4th level spell slots at lvl 7. She won't acces 5th lvls spells till lvl 9, and the most powerful spell slots for her she won't be able to access until lvl 17. So I don't know what kinda strange edition you think you're playing, but I think you're allowing your players to become too powerful too quickly.
you forget: they aren't playing any old Dungeons and Dragons in the 1980s, they are playing D&D that has been enhanced by the dark cult of Cthulhu(?). I guess they just forsook the usual rules to rush Debbie/Elfstar into her "true power" to awaken their dark lord quickly. Man, nineteen-eighty times were weird.
My character is literally a self worshipping cleric who tried to fly to impress a boss character. I nearly got killed in the process. Hell, I'm not even a Christian, and yet I based the character off of the "be your own God" mentality because it was hilarious.
Watch out... those are the kids that play Dark Souls! You don't mess with the kids that play Dark Souls!!! No matter what you try, You. Can NOT. BREAK. THEM!!!!!
I just love how they just where assigned full fledged characters right off the bat, meanwhile I spent a week creating an an alcoholic that beats the shit out of people with a frying pan.
@@mattpace1026Man you've been going around the comment section just spouting whatever would get a rise out of people and yet not a single person has actually taken you seriously yet. If you're gonna be a troll, do a better job.
@@beggingbugger Ah, so someone telling the truth is a troll in your eyes. I miss when that word meant something on the internet, and was helpful. Now it's just a crutch for any moron who doesn't want to admit they're a tool. Have fun going nowhere in life.
It's funny to know that jon could have actually made his scenes at a higher production value than the movie so he definitely chose to be cheaper to match the movie
the same one where D&D summons Cthulu. But this film just makes me cringe so hqrd because it doesn't even try to show how the game may allure people to its 'dark side'
You know, as someone who is both a Christan and a D&D player, I have never been able to figure out which part of me should feel more insulted by this movie.
I'm not the best with the alligments but isn't chao neutral just a person that values their freedom a lot, doesn't believe in the government but ALSO can have friends and be loyal to them? WHY IS SHE BETRAYING EVERYONE AND COMITTING MANSLAUGHTER AS A FIRST OPTION-
Them: “DND is evil!!” My players: “Quick get between the goblins and the angry villagers so we can negotiate a cease fire and figure out this misunderstanding so we can hopefully resolve this conflict as peacefully as possible”
My players just try to help npcs start their own businesses 😭 I created this one flower shop noc as a joke but they insist that he's the main character
I play as a warlock of the Fiend Patron, and my patron is a demon princess who routinely sends me and my party little chocolates shaped like imps, candy canes shaped like pitchforks, and bottles of milk from demon cows. She even sent my character a cake on his birthday once, and even helped one of our party member’s cheer up when they were sad. She has ironically been the kindest reoccurring character in our dnd campaign, and has been kinder than even some of the angels we’ve met. Her name is Malciora.
"Converting the Muslims who were worshipping a moon god." I distinctly remember reading that Chick tract as a kid in junior high and it made me realize that I actually didn't know what Muslims really believed. It was the first time I went out of my way to research something on my own without it needing to be assigned to me as schoolwork.
This movie is true, one time I was playing Works of Darkness and my character was too neutral good, so Satan himself rose up from hell, slapped me in the face and changed my character sheet to say chaotic evil. There isn't even a spot for morality on the WoD character sheet. I was never the same again.
Did an actual DM just literally bring Tiamat, the Dragon Queen, on a lone Level 7 Rogue. Not gonna lie, if the DM did that to me, I'll kill myself too.
I think this started as a pornographic parody, but when they realized they couldn't legally release it they cut the sex scenes and made it closer to the comic book.
Actual DnD parties are just sitting around a kitchen table eating chicken nuggets and talking back and forth about character lore- honestly sounds a lot more fun to me than the rave in the movie-
Have you been spying on my DND sessions?! You just described it perfectly. Course not all the time. There was one time where one of our members went to our local fried chicken restaurant (not KFC) and ordered like a hundred piece dinner for our group of SIX PEOPLE!!
@@zachscarbrough2727debates get you hungry and heated, I remember this one time me and this girl argued for hours on what the child of a dark and forest elf would look like, eventually we ran to the nearest empty room and made out
Nothing like getting thrown on top of a massive beholder, flashbanging it, then setting it on fire, before backflipping off its head while flipping it off. I was honestly amazed I got so many good rolls in a row.
Oh my god, I just realized.... When the girl gets into RPGs and uses actual Black Magic to evil herself an A+, the paper's title is straight-up "The Complete History of Vampire Maven of Eventide". At first I was just laughing because she went "evil" and turned in a paper on vampires because Evil, but no, this goes further because after looking into it, Maven of Eventide is a youtube/Channel Awesome reviewer who covers stuff relating to vampire lore while playing a vampire as her reviewer character. This girl's A+ paper was literally just chronicling a RUclips Channel ft. magic powers because D&D. That's amazing!
As a RPGer I can tell you this is 100% accurate,we are indeed the coolest kids in any school,spreading the RPG mind set to all we come across,praise cuthulu
I love that the director actually made this after he had won a lottery and his main thought was “I’ve always really loved that terrible Dark Dungeons comic. I should really get the rights to it.” He really used all his winnings on this and even had to get extra money from crowdfunding for it. Respect to that man honestly
You didn't even mention that the madlad only won a $1000 lottery prize. Still a lot of money, but like not *movie* production money. This dude got a nice grand, and instead of paying rent or splurging on a nice phone or something, thought "You know what the universe is telling me to do? Buy the rights to a 90's Christian Propaganda comics strip and start a Kickstarter to make a movie out of it."
"Really?" "No, not really, they don't do much harm here, in fact honestly they've been pumping up our college's enrollment rates thanks to their size and fame as a get-together, I honestly didn't think that was even a thing, but yea, KnYSO I guess..."
I think even as far as into the 90s, fearmongers like Jack T Chick were the minority and did this to feel like they actually meant a fucking shit and since then their relevance just keeps going down as people get more and easier access to information
Ok time to break this down: 1. Worst DM ever. How would she loose all her weapons and gold? If she's as her first character ever, and not even a character that she made, why would she railroad the noobs like that? That's a huge dick move. Especially if you actually WANT these people to play with you. 2. Just because you are CN doesn't mean you don't have mercy. In fact, I've seen Chaotic Neutral characters show mercy when a Lawful Good would not. It's THE CHARACTER, not the ALIGNMENT, who has the mercy. 3. On that note, if she wanted to spare the enemy for QUESTIONING, that's definitely something she could do, even if you are playing a merciless character. 4. From a player's point of view, it's her first game and doesn't fully understand the game or it's connotations yet. I kinda get the DM's idea of "we gotta go now," but this might be the first time the character actually killed somebody.
alignment is supposed to be an indication though... a lawful good would execute (or at least imprison) Robin Hood because he attacks people and breaks the law by theft. chaotic neutral can go any way because they are CHAOTIC(choose to obey laws or not) and NEUTRAL(in moral standing). but yeah, they aren't necessarily going to kill someone BECAUSE they are chaotic neutral...
l33tsamurai Well yes, but when you get down to it Alignment is a role-play aid, and her reasoning for using the said aid in that scenario was the move of a noob being railroaded by a dick of a DM, rather than a Critical Role level of role-playing masterwork as it is painted in the film. Were I in their shoes I'd probably go find other college kids to play with after a few sessions.
Fun fact: JRR Tolkien was the guy who brought CS Lewis to Christ, and they make allusions to each other in their books poking fun at eachother. Like true besties.
Lmao, funny how these idiots are condemning writings from Christians/Catholics (JRR was Catholic) which are made with undertones and messages to promote those beliefs (though CS' Narnia was made strictly as a Childrens fairytale according to CS) just because they're fantastical. I guess Puritans are scared of imagination, pretty backwards stuff lol
my favorite bit is when they keep repeating "The Shadow.." because it's a reference to Zombie Orpheus's first movie (its called The Gamers, it was made in like 2002 or something and is honestly still pretty solid. I remember loving it as a kid)
So here’s the thing about this film: the producer won the lottery and wanted to make a movie about this tract, but he got this outside production company to do it. This co. called Zombie Orpheus Productions specialized in low budget fantasy, so when they got wind, they turned up the ham to make it a straight up parody that still slipped under the radar of the author.
TheVirtigo I spent most of the video trying to convince myself that those clips weren’t really in the video. I knew it didn’t make sense but some were so well placed and like why would he spend that long setting up for that
The difference between John’s footage and the movers footage is that John’s just has some random guy in it while the other one looks like everyone’s just about wood away from stripping
Everything in this movie could’ve been avoided if the girls knew the warning signs of a bad DM! Giving them characters they don’t even get to name, telling them about the “true power” which should OBVIOUSLY be achieved after leveling up significantly and going through some character development, making the players leave after they die instead of just making a new character. Also she’s like in her mid 30s and is playing DND at a college frat party so I think that’s as red of a flag as possible.
DnD is a Christian game if you align yourself against demons. But the Christian game I recommend is Doom because you protect the world against all the forces of hell!
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your super shotgun and Your plasma rifle, they comfort me."
don't forget in the original DooM the Doom Marine (Canon wise is the decendant of B.J Blazkowitz from castle wolfenstien) killed the icon of sin, and in doom 2 saved earth and so on.
Right? When Jon was making fun of the conversation between the hooded cult members with him wearing the same hood, I actually thought he was doing a skit with them until he started commentating over it.
Honestly, I couldn't tell when it was fake or the movie. When I saw all of the cult people standing around talking about things and John popped up talkin about Bill Nye I thought it was all just a skit, but then they kept goin. I got so confused. Although I think this movie would be a lot better if JonTron were actually in it like this.
It took me a while to figure out what Jon had edited in and what was actually the film. For example, at 4:45 he matched the set so well I thought maybe the other guys were acting in his bit and not the original film. Just goes to show how much effort Jon puts into his videos.
The most unrealistic part of this was a D&D group meeting that consistently.
Amen. Especially IRL. It's easier online but even then it's hella inconsistent
oof
CrimsonChick
exactly, my group ended up on a cliffhanger with my character the last time i played and i haven’t heard from one player in almost a month.
can’t start because her pet mount is important to the plot.
*sad DM noises*
And not going off on insane bunny trails.
I can't even tell the difference between the actual movie and Jon's additions.
It took me a while at first to realize that the demon scenes weren't Jon Tron. I was like, wtf? computer screens, haha, oh wow... oh no... that's... that's the movie... that's the movie....
+David Koster ya lol
this is how you differ,
if a scean has jonton
its jontrons clip
if it doesn't
its not.
IKR
is the first part made up or part of the movie? like the begining
it's funny how one can't tell what part is Jon fucking around, and what part is the actual...."movie".
Yu Narukami
His stuff was better than the movie... although the movie set the bar a biiiit low
Here I was afraid I was the only one.
When the scene looks like it's been polished at production grade, features coherent plot and invests into the continuous character development - it's Jon fucking around.
Yu didn't you lose to jojo
+the doctor what
"ARE YOU READY TO RPG?!"
"Sorry, I can't do the usual time this week, how about Wednesday?"
"Wednesday doesn't work for me, how about Tuesday?"
"What if we did a late session?"
"Sorry, I can't. I have really early shifts this week."
"Can anyone do Thursday afternoon?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Thursday works."
"Definitely, I can do Thursday."
"Thursday afternoon it is, then."
**Thursday afternoon**
"Where is Josh?"
"He said he'd be five minutes late. Has anyone heard from Cindy?"
"No."
"Pat?"
**Two hours later**
"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. But I brought food!"
"Josh!"
"JOSH!"
"Oh, where's Cindy? And Pat?"
"Sigh. Guess it's another one-shot this time."
I hate how accurate this is 😂
Stop 😭
This did make me actually sad.
Oh no... Who knew being in a demon cult was this hardddd
Damn bro. Too real, lmao
"ARE YOU READY FOR THE MAIN EVENT? ARE YOU READY TO RPG?"
"YEAHHHH"
"Okay, everyone roll for initiative."
16
Damn I got a 1
Yadriel Vento bardic inspiration add a 1D10
@@thefreshemperorofsacredter572 can I borrow your dice? I forgot mine.
I got 10 ... What can I do now?
I like to imagine the reason the school was trying to kick out the role players is because they graduated already but just will not leave
Yes, this!
_They never leave!!_
I run a gaming night at the comic book shop I'm employed at, and that is so insanely accurate. Every single session is a bloody struggle to shoo everyone out so I can lock up the store. It's gotten so bad that we sometimes play a little longer in the parking lot. Or if it's an adult group, we might even take it to the bar across the street. I'm just too kind to my players.
@MadamFoogie sounds like you’re the root of the problem, enabler 🤷🏽♂️ That’s what you get for running a store selling candy bars & caffeine instead of xanax bars & codeine
@@kevindube7096 I'd gladly sell them that if it were legal. Some of those people really need to chill.
Would explain why they’re like 30
MadamFoogie Imagine walking into a bar and see a bunch of people playing dnd.
"We don't have to kill him do we?"
"At it would cost is your gold and your weapons!"
That's a really shitty DM.
she also assigned them names and characters.
Fallout 4?
(Joking, I actually love Fallout)
+slayertakim1 there is none. It's like playing saints row but as a normal looking human, instead of some mutated hippo with a cockney accent that's skin is a dark blue. It just doesn't feel right.
This DM obviously hasn't played Undertale... ... .. or any RPG games in this world.
This was terrible DMing.
Giving the players characters instead of them making their own.
Not letting them show mercy.
I don't know if its just me, but they Leveled really fast.
And not letting her save her friend, and saying it would be breaking character. like what?
I love how she didn’t handwrite a suicide note. She PRINTED one with selected font.
Ha
Thing is: it is one to one the same font the note uses in the comic
The entire film is taking the piss
They say cursive is dying out...
...at least it wasn't comic sans lol
That’s the level of petty we should all aspire to be.
“I’ll be damned if this b**** doesn’t know I put effort into this”
Reminds me of a post somewhere
"DnD Fearmonger: you serve a dungeon master and summon demons."
"DnD dungeon master in reality: please stop trying to seduce the river, I'm begging you."
I rolled a natural 20 you can't stop me I can seduce whatever I want
DM: The river prefers being on top. Did I mention they were rapids?
@@TheSp0kesman with bardic inspiration they can do whatever they want.
This makes me want friends to play D&D and seduce a river
"No, you cannot molest the barrel, it's a fucKING BARREL YOU MORON."
"You're dead, you can't play anymore."
-Says the Cleric who didn't prepare Revivify
“Bullshit via deletion of gold and weapons=excuse”
Never do that
Maybe she had revivify but was tired of the rogue's player bullshit (saw that happen a couple of times)
I feel that.
As a healer in almost half of my games I feel that
Or Neutralize Poison (since Black Leaf died from a poison trap)
IKR!!!, she could still play, maybe pretend her character is a spirit
"I have no mercy. I am chaotic neutral!"
Yeah, they knew exactly what they were doing.
*facepalms in chaotic good*
I legitimately died inside a little bit
*laughs in chaotic evil*
Dms are always worried about evil alignments, when neutral alignments just be burning orphanages just because.
What a non-committing loser. Can't even fully commit to be evil.
"All she was good for was reading the Necronomicon and summoning Cthulhu."
What an amazing line.
I can't get over the fact that the Necronomicon wasn't in some obscure or dead language
It was in ARABIC
I mean, why didn't one of them just download Duolingo at that point
@@FierceGalactaKnightbecause that bird is more terrifying than Cthulhu
Jon could reveal that he actually just made Dark Dungeons himself, and nobody would argue with him.
Ikr, its so ridiculous and his cuts fit so well with it he might as well just have produced it.
HOOHOO
You coulda called this film dorks v. cthulu, and NO ONE would've argued with you.
I would. Jon's skits are much higher production
Hoo, hoo!
I love that the cult boss in the beginning is acting better than the actual cult boss in the movie
Forget the boss.
Babarilias (or however the hell you'd spell that abomination of a name) is the real actor.
@@Naokarma I mean. He does some decent work in the lack in a normal name.
also jons party looked at lot more then the movies party
@@Naokarma rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrff33rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr4rrrrr is a gt4 ffffffrftfrffrfffffffffffffffffffff 4ff and rfree fffffffff4fffffffff rdd fffffffffffffffff4fff 4ffff
@@ianrumbaugh2075 you good?
D&D in this universe: “Our dice are tools of the Devil!”
Real D&D: “If one more person rolls to seduce the horses pulling the cart, I’m dropping the Tarrasque on this board.”
Hah, peasants, flirting with the horses.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘵~
@@misterbook9786 >play DnD
>choose bard
>DM sighs
I'll roll to seduce the Tarrasque.
Real D&D: Evil races are bad game design because they marginalize real-life races.
@@329link Nat 20
Fun fact, Narnia actually has a ton of religious references in it so the fact that it was considered witch craft here just sends me.
And lotr has catholic values
@@NoxArcani-z4u Yup. Aragorn for instance really takes inspiration primarily from King David but also Jesus. He's of a bloodline that stretches back to a legendary golden age of their civilization (Numenor). His reunification of Arnor and Gondor into a single kingdom following the war has parallels to Judea and Israel in the Books of Kings. Both King David and Aragorn are known for their musical talents.
I didn't grow up christian, so I didn't pick up on the christian allegory in narnia until I reread all the books as an adult.
Occult books also have a lot of religious references, so that doesn't really mean anything.
It’s so hilarious. My parents banned C S Lewis when I was growing up because, magic. Oh and also he was “Catholic or something” and my good protestant parents weren’t having any of that robe-and-incense bullshit
"I have no mercy, I am chaotic neutral"
this movie is definately self aware
Any DM worth there salt: GODAMNIT you will not kill the other player because WE didn't agree to it THAT IS YOU, ME, AND HER DIDN'T ALL AGREE
I read catholic neutral for some reason.
Eh, same shit anyways
@@Lunar1us
Lawful Christian: Catholics
Neutral Christian : Orthodox
Chaotic Christian : Protestant
Lawful Atheist : Secular Humanist
Neutral Atheist : Nihilist
Chaotic Atheist : Misotheist/Antitheist
Lawful Satanist : Satanic Temple
Neutral Satanist : Lavayan
Chaotic Satanist : Order of the 9 angles
@@konnosx1213 well you can be all 3 of the atheist things at once-
@@konnosx1213 Oh my God, I identify with literally all the Lawful alignments in some way! The hell does that mean?
"DnD is evil because you use spells to kill people"
Meanwhile, the cruel goblin rogue, along the rest of our party, taught the 15 year old half orc fighter how to write so that he could send a letter to his mom, telling her he was ok and was having a lot of fun with his new friends.
I love that, your party is so pure
@@lorenzobellachioma8160 It's actually pretty funny because at the start most of us were trying to be mean, but at the end we just gave up completely and now we're nice. The mean lonely rogue started helping his new companions, the grumpy cleric started having fun with the party, the young half orc bard who feels abandoned by her mentor and father figure now thinks of the old tiefling druid who lost his wife and son as family, the half orc fighter is having fun with his new friends, the lonely elf druid is starting to trust people again, and the grumpy human fighter has made friends with a goblin, a dragonborn, an elf, a gnome, a tiefling and a couple of half orcs and is starting to realize non-humans are actually kinda nice.
It's been a really fun mess.
@Laura A Villegas
That’s got enough character development to be a movie that I would 100% watch
@@chumbucket3475 Actually it turns out that most of the players in my party study animation and are also really into character design and storytelling. I believe that helped a ton to make the story of their characters so interesting. The whole thing feels like watching multiple movies at once, and I can't for the life of me say I have not enjoyed it.
My Grandma Ended up making the Same Argument but 20 minutes later I was helping her (89 year old Human Cleric)Find her (Dead Husband’s) Grave She Fell in love then 8 minutes Later Then the DM made it so She was my Real Grandmother
Seriously.... Is no one gonna mention the fact they were playing dnd at a fucking rave?
Like.... Who... Who does that???
Moreover how did they actually get enough people who had coinciding free time to have a rave on top of playing dungeons and dragons
Nothing sets the mood for sitting there making voices and Rolling dice for a few hours like repetitive edm
@@austingole4861 ikr the most inaccurate part is how all the rpgers had time to constantly gather and play dnd
Extreme dice rolling over extreme music
Yes very real
Only the COOLEST D&D players do that.
I still love how accusatory the dean or whoever is.
"It's just imagination."
"Is it?"
"Well obviously, wait, did you think-"
"Where are the bodies, Debby?"
TWENTY EIGHT FIREBALLS.
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE THEM A SAVING THROW, DID YOU?
@@Golden_Pig64 i didn't expect that reference
@@user-me3ge8de4ome neither
@@Golden_Pig64 DID YOU DRAIN YOUR SPELL SLOTS? METAMAGIC?
THEY WERE TAKING FIRE DAMAGE, BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY.
BUT YOU CASTED IT, AGAIN AND AGAIN
@@testedhawkJUST SAY "I CASTED THEM!!" IS THAT _SO HARD?!_
Imagine showing up to a party and mid way through it just stops and 7 people just start playing D&D.
understandable they wanted to leave tbh
* Yelling*
Hey, Guys, can you turn that dubstep and hardbass down a little bit? I'm trying to seduce Cthulhu!
And everyone else STOPS TO WATCH!
@@NerdyCatCoffeeee bards am I right? *laugh tracks start playing awkwardly*
Bro good luck getting the high and drunk people to pay enough attention without fucking everything. Actually that's just a regular DND game.
"All it would cost would be your gold and YOUR WEAPONS!" That's a strange rule for giving mercy.
Real Chaotic neutral characters don't give enemies mercy! Genocide only!
Honestly, Mistress Frost is a terrible DM. She's forcing her players to fight and kill any enemy they come across instead of letting the players decide. I thought as a DM you're only supposed to describe what's happening, and not describe what the players are doing.
TheCameronMaster464 you are partially wrong, dms can describe what the players are doing, but dont make the decisions for them. But everything else is right
Toriel would not approve
I wonder how that works, “you spare your enemy and extend your hand to raise them to their feet, suddenly, they knock you out and take everything you own. By the time you wake up, they are long gone”.
Dnd according to this: dark, addictive, seedy frat party Satan worshipping ritual
Dnd in real life:
Dm, with his head in his hands: no, you can’t have a “chicken crossbow” and I don’t even want to know what that is.
And a player trying to yeet a horse to a horde of goblins and rolling a nat 20 causing a tear in the space time continuum destroying the session.
He is satire so kind of makes sense nothing makes sense
It's obviously a crossbow that fires off chickens instead of bolts. Imagine how angry the chicken would be after firing it off, it would maim just about anything it hit.
I once used an iron door as a shield after I punched it off it's hinges with a natural 20 for the rest of the campaign! DM was nice enough to make up stats for it too.
@@SollowP This is what Link does when he's had enough of getting his ass kicked by Cuccos. He just straps one into a crossbow and shoots it at his enemies. XD
This whole thing felt like the setup to a well scripted adult film. I kept waiting for the sex to start.
Yeah, especially the whole "We'd have to spend the whole Saturday together alone in our dorm room, and there's totally nothing fun we could do there :P" bit felt like the intro to a porn.
Omg yeah, when the guy was like,”that was the best Rpg-ing in I’ve seen in 15 years!” I thought I miss-remembered this video and I almost left. Also when they’re talking about RPG-ing in their dorm I straight up thought the next shot would be them together in bed. Their always a second from making this movie NC-17
I'm still waiting by the way....
This does have Skinimax vibes.
Would've been worth a lot more of my time and attention.
Can we please acknoweldge that the suicide note font and formatting works in the tract, but in real life I can't ignore that instead of writing her suicide note by hand, Marcie went to the trouble of actually opening up Microsoft word and picking a font, thinking "yeah this one looks good for my suicide note", typing it out, turning on her printer, printing it out, and then stepping up on a chair to hang herself. Amazing.
As a tech nerd I’d so do that
I mean, I know if I would do it by hand no one would be able to read or so what's the point of even writing one of no one can read it.
And she also chose the right font size and line spacing to make her suicide note particularly aesthetic
@@TheDiego908 You wouldn't want to die like some loser who doesn't have a e s t h e t i c would you?
Also the fact that she clearly got changed before hanging herself but after black leaf died so she got home and got changed into a dress, because you got have suicide style am I right, then she printed the note and then she hung her self
No one told Marcie she could just reroll a new character, no big deal.
Nah, the DM picked the character for her. She never even rolled the first one. ;_;
@@EmeraldLance What a lame DM. If anything in that film is sinful it's the DMing that goes on.
Didn't even get to roll death saves smh
"TODD HELP ME"
Yeah, I'm usually screaming that when Skyrim starts glitching.
"Todd Damnit!"
Apathetic Jedi XD
Also what Fallout 76 screamed
"it just works"
Todd and the Book of pure Evil was a pretty fun show
Yes Jack Chick gave his approval for this but what a lot of people don't realize is that it was legitimately a group of Gamers that made this movie and they played it perfectly straight to jocks chicks vision because nothing they could come up with would make fun of it any better. This movie was actually first screened at Gencon
as a fan of "the gamers" i loved this!
The satire truly wrote itself
Yeah, you literally can't write anything better than this pile of shit
Hahaha THANK YOU for the clarification!
I figured that people (like me) would have made a movie like this to screw with people.
Yep, just stick to the source and tell the actors to chew that scenery as hard as they can
'Convert the muslims'
"I ain't.....I ain't even going near that"
How many years later and that still kills me
The moon God shit was the funniest part
Fun fact, the writers of the movies actually got the moon god from an honest god chick tract that was made unironically where chick tries to convince you in all seriousness that Muslims are secretly worshipping the moon god
I can vouch for that. Ol’ Jack tried (and hopefully failed) to convince anyone considering converting to Islam that “Allah” is a false moon deity.
@Toxic Delirium the star and crescent in Islam were used as a symbol of the Ottoman empire in around the 13th-14th century and never before, the were then considered as a symbol for islam by most people since the Ottomans were the defacto rulers of the Muslim world (the religion itself has no symbols), as for the Lunar calendar, that has been used in the Arabian peninsula centuries before Islam existed as well as in many other places around the world.
Toxic Delirium Dude, Christianity has a firm base in paganism as well. No one’s saying Christians are secretly worshipping zeus or some shit. And as for why Islam continues to use the symbol, the Ottoman Empire was one of the largest and most influential predominantly muslim empires to exist. The Ottomans, and thus their symbol, basically became the face of Islam.
20:17 fun fact: CS lewis and JRR Tolkien were actually Christian and at one point attended the same church
Huh, good fantasy writers attended the same church. Clearly George R.R. Martin didn't attend church back then.
I thought CS Lewis was Anglican?Tolkien was a devout catholic so it'd be pretty surprising if they did attend the same church.It's pretty well documented that they were friends with each other though.
@@jeffreywilliams1347 Tolkien converted CS Lewis to Christianity, so it they probably did attend the same church for a time. CS was an atheist before he met Tolkien.
CS and JRR were very good friends. Treebeard was actually based on CS.
I always joke that the 3 people pastors quote the most are 1: Jesus 2: Paul and 3: CS Lewis.
I swear to god the production on Jontron's videos match the movie so well I'm finding it hard to distinguish what is Jon's footage and what is the movie. For a minute I was like "is he punking us? Did he make this movie?" XD
I kinda felt the same way actually haha xD
I thought 4:25 was still Jon's parody until he started making fun of the homosexuality line.
I understand you ProfKranc.
Same. I thought the first shot was his footage definitely not the movie.
Lmao
The part with the moon God and Jon not even wanting to comment had my sides in orbit.
The funny thing is, I was introduced to dungeons and dragons at a Christian youth center lol
Then there's my entire group that are all Catholics that play it
Thats how they getcha
same lmao
So was I, kinda
My sisters pathfinder club would meet up in the basement of a church, not sure if they were Christian or not
Every single shot in this movie looks like the start of a porno.
Daniel Brazell best comment ever
Especially the scenes with Cthulhu
you know what it does. Im waiting for this DnD session go into irl erp
Cause pornos and Christian movies are both low budget.
Damn, why are you kind of right?
"If you act you‘ll be breaking character"
That‘s not even true. Chaotic neutral is neutral they can save whoever the blimey hell they want.
Yeah but I don’t think I will
@@pleaseenteraname6590 truly a chaotic rogue
Ben Dover but I like bards and clerics more
I hate the “breaking character” argument. Like it’s my character I can do whatever I want with them.
I think they meant that in the way that they weren't together, so they would go OOC if they did that, breaking character.
As an actual D&D player if my DM throws my custom character mini in the fire I really WILL be committing a murder
Like dude those get expensive quick
_"Go get it,"_ and then you toss him in.
Jfc, murder over a piece of plastic?! God help anyone who knows you.
@@mattpace1026 The good ones have nothing to fear.
@@OfficerHotpants Dude, your apparent criteria for whether or not someone deserves to die is whether or not they play with your toys. You should be locked up.
"You can show him mercy, and all it would cost is your gold and your weapons."
Why?
Cause I said soooo! >:)
Um...how does that work?
If I spare him is he entitled to everything I own?
A Moose
So are you trying to incentives me to kill him then?
Villains don't show mercy. Duh.
I'm more confused as to why they get the option; didn't the enemy run out of hitpoints?
Nothing brings me more joy than the fact the creator gave the seal of approval on a clearly satirical dunk of his life's work
Why do you think the writer thought it was satirical? You're very wrong.
@@UnitSe7en clearly I don't.
Dead Gentlemen made the movie. They made the Gamers 1 and 2, as well as Journeyquest and a bunch of other DnD movies. They were 1000% dunking on the source.
The Shadow bit is what got me. Classic DG.
That's the best part it isn't a satirical interpretation. He gave permission if they accurately used his work and his work is just that ridiculous
“I have no mercy, for I am Chaotic Neutral!”
“Excellent RPGing!”
This is satire. There is no way this is not satire.
It literally is! 🤣
I crack up every time I watch it 🤣
And the guy who took it dead serious approved it even
It became satire at "Those are the RPGers" i choked laughing at that line
@@Mediados there's no way. He had to have known that this was a giant joke.
4:40 i cant believe Jon actually found that same background curtain with the exact same pattern for this gag.
It's stupidly easy to get ahold of esoteric, cultist-looking rugs/tapestries and weird candles and candlesticks nowadays. Makes it easy for edgy Satanists to do their weird shit, and equally easy for neurotic Christians to do their counter-shit. Lots of shit, really.
I think it’s just a green screen of a scene of it from the film.
@@bradensorensen966I don’t think so, the candles in the background move and there isn’t anyone else in the shot
"I think your hands are perfect for spellcasting. So delicate and small."
Well damn it, no wonder my wizard is so weak. I should have written smaller hands into my backstory...
Donald Trump's a wizard.
Goody goody RoyAi profile pic
Crap my wizard has huge hands, I wrote it into my backstory especially! I have been defeated!
Reinhardt Babyhands knows well that magic is everything.
@@ArynBendah Meme magic is real
"Your Cleric has risen to the eighth level, I think it's time you REALLY learned to cast spells." Nice try witch lady, but if she's a cleric she just accessed the 4th level spell slots at lvl 7. She won't acces 5th lvls spells till lvl 9, and the most powerful spell slots for her she won't be able to access until lvl 17. So I don't know what kinda strange edition you think you're playing, but I think you're allowing your players to become too powerful too quickly.
HAHA GOT E
A fellow man of culture is always nice to see.
Either that, or she meant it literally, and these are FIRST level spells, which is significantly worse.
Must be some pathfinder weirdness, I don't know man
you forget: they aren't playing any old Dungeons and Dragons in the 1980s, they are playing D&D that has been enhanced by the dark cult of Cthulhu(?). I guess they just forsook the usual rules to rush Debbie/Elfstar into her "true power" to awaken their dark lord quickly.
Man, nineteen-eighty times were weird.
I love how they got some dark edgy characters while me and my friends legit had a game where we were all Spongebob characters.
Me and my cousin when we were younger played as Courage the Cowardly Dog characters. So don’t be embarrassed 😂
Every goody gansta till squidward spawns Cthulhu
omg please invite me next time that sounds amazing
My character is literally a self worshipping cleric who tried to fly to impress a boss character. I nearly got killed in the process. Hell, I'm not even a Christian, and yet I based the character off of the "be your own God" mentality because it was hilarious.
Me and my friends just recreated the hobbit
"I have no mercy. I am Chaotic Neutral!"
Checks out.
I died when they showed the kids playing D&D as the cool kids!
Watch out... those are the kids that play Dark Souls! You don't mess with the kids that play Dark Souls!!! No matter what you try, You. Can NOT. BREAK. THEM!!!!!
Do their rave parties involve praising the sun?
+dracocrusher u mess w/ a souls player and they make you a casul
+Limon Tree No, lots of skeletons though.
+dracocrusher Hey, wanna do some ashen estus?
love how Jon's cinematography looks more professional than the movie
The first bit with this movie i thought jontron was in the movie
lol, It's so similar. If he shot a scene without him, I would probably believe it was part of the movie.
I just love how they just where assigned full fledged characters right off the bat, meanwhile I spent a week creating an an alcoholic that beats the shit out of people with a frying pan.
Demopan!?
I had an opium addicted explosives expert in an ultramodern campaign. he ran around with a chick who was a refugee from the Civil war
Stout Chako for two refined!
So, Rapunzel with depression?
Shit had a sheet for a hexplay warlock and what is it i was told i should rather make a cleric so here we go again xD
The fact that it was a party was the funniest concept to me because no one myself including who plays dnd goes to parties.
Good on you for keeping the stereotype of rpg players being antisocial losers alive. Really doing a service to the world there.
Also they made them the popular kids as a football player was saying it
@@mattpace1026Man you've been going around the comment section just spouting whatever would get a rise out of people and yet not a single person has actually taken you seriously yet. If you're gonna be a troll, do a better job.
@@beggingbugger Ah, so someone telling the truth is a troll in your eyes. I miss when that word meant something on the internet, and was helpful. Now it's just a crutch for any moron who doesn't want to admit they're a tool. Have fun going nowhere in life.
I love that the production values are so bad you are able to seamlessly insert yourself into the movie
It was made on a shoestring. The creator won the lottery and invested that 1k into making a movie
It all blurs together lol
It's funny to know that jon could have actually made his scenes at a higher production value than the movie so he definitely chose to be cheaper to match the movie
Honestly he could have edited himself into the background of most scenes and I genuinely wouldn’t have noticed
I just thought to myself "God, this movie looks like made by bunch of RUclipsrs".
"If you don't murder this NPC I'll severely penalize you!"
Spoken like a terrible DM
That’s like, the exact opposite of what most DMs want
@@edcellwarrior It sure is
The size of the party means I can't really blame her
What strange parallel universe is this?
the same one where D&D summons Cthulu.
But this film just makes me cringe so hqrd because it doesn't even try to show how the game may allure people to its 'dark side'
The most unbelievable part of this whole film is "Of all the students who tried RPGs, not _one_ has _ever stopped!_ "
Absolutely. Compared to the real world figures of a 99% failure rate of campaign completion for all campaigns ever played in the entirety of Materium.
The better part is in the first session the girls attended like 8 people left after they died in game and probably never touched it again.
Whenever I got addicted to games, rage-quitting always helped
Scott The Woz: amateurs.
And the fact that the DnD players are the most popular people on campus. XD
You know, as someone who is both a Christan and a D&D player, I have never been able to figure out which part of me should feel more insulted by this movie.
Ikr this stupid film is like those type of toxic Christian Karen mothers who think that everything that is not Christian related is Satanic lol
Let's hope it's your religious side
As a satanic D&D player, I have never been able to figure out which part of me should feel more insulted by this movie.
@bitgh0st Satan is far more pathetic than this movie portrays, so the D&D side.
Both? Yes let's go with both
The "Don't be a Richard" hat is criminally underrated.
What happened to him 🥺
My friends name is Richard.
Gimme your Richard
@@lifeisgood5619 Death
I've seen that hat so many times in the wild
Saying "I kill him, for I am Chaotic Neutral" is like saying "I'll commit war crimes because I grab change that people drop and forget at the store.
Oml you are amazingly smart
"Chaotic Stupid"
I'm not the best with the alligments but isn't chao neutral just a person that values their freedom a lot, doesn't believe in the government but ALSO can have friends and be loyal to them? WHY IS SHE BETRAYING EVERYONE AND COMITTING MANSLAUGHTER AS A FIRST OPTION-
@@herlocksholmes-uv5qw Chaotic neutral is literally just "I do what ever I want."
@@arieson7715 kinda but even then their first option shouldn't always be "I kill the fucker" that's more of a chaotic evil territory
"'That's true with eating, drinking, and--' Pringles... especially the pizza flavour. //eats chip// Oh, look, here I go again."
BEST QUOTE
i didnt get it
Debbie: who are those people?
Mike: those are the "RPG-ers".
Marcy: "Rocket Propelled Grenadiers?"
"You need it to convert the Muslims,who didn't realize they were worshipping the Moon God."
"I ain't even going near that."
Yeah. Me neither.
I anit either
Yeah,Yeah No.
I remember being all like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" when I heard that
And also what's wrong with moon god that you need to convert people?
@@Snp2024 Nothing against the Moon God. But he is not the god of Islam.
I think next time I GM a session imma start saying “excellent RPGing, Debbie” every time one of my players does something right
“When you die in the game you die in real life, except you don’t you go back to your dorm and play some GTAV.”
then cry because you've been playing that character for years
@@jaspermervin5204 then go and cancel a deviantart commission for your character.
@@Atlas3060 then go home and rethink your life.
Just play a necromancer as your next character and bring the character you lost back lmao.
uh huh
alright
whatevefr
Them: “DND is evil!!”
My players: “Quick get between the goblins and the angry villagers so we can negotiate a cease fire and figure out this misunderstanding so we can hopefully resolve this conflict as peacefully as possible”
And after some time, we will mate with their women and eventually our differences will be forgotten.
that would be me...well, it would, if I was ever invited to my friend's rpg sess...
My players just try to help npcs start their own businesses 😭 I created this one flower shop noc as a joke but they insist that he's the main character
Caboose in profile...
"as peacefully as possible"...
Guys, I have a bad feeling about this.
This room is, what? 10 feet around? Yeah I cast fireball.
"-200 damage to DVD player"
Now that's a lotta damage!
Thomas Whitlatch It's not that much damage.
Flex Tape: Repair any object or construct for 50d20 hit points.
And I repaired it! Using only Flex Tape!
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MORE?
*Hollow Tim
If that number was in Pokemon, then that'd be a lot of damage
"I will slay the helpless foe. I have no mercy. i am Chaotic Neutral."
That is not Chaotic Neutral! That is Neutral Evil! They are not the same thing!
I'm a chaotic good person
Yeah but chaotic neutral is just neutral evil in disguise.
thank you for the input mr nidai
Just be like, "I don't care about this dudes life, so I kill him." That's more Chaotic Neutral.
They may as well be sometimes
The only cultish behavior among real “RPG-ers” is the insatiable need for new dice.
Without throwing out the old ones.
Goblin Brain says shiny number rocks go clickity clack
And findings new flavours of Pringles.
I play as a warlock of the Fiend Patron, and my patron is a demon princess who routinely sends me and my party little chocolates shaped like imps, candy canes shaped like pitchforks, and bottles of milk from demon cows. She even sent my character a cake on his birthday once, and even helped one of our party member’s cheer up when they were sad. She has ironically been the kindest reoccurring character in our dnd campaign, and has been kinder than even some of the angels we’ve met. Her name is Malciora.
@@apollyonnoctis1291 I mean no surprise against the angels currently my angelic parent wants to kidnap me and torture me forever 🙂
"Converting the Muslims who were worshipping a moon god."
I distinctly remember reading that Chick tract as a kid in junior high and it made me realize that I actually didn't know what Muslims really believed. It was the first time I went out of my way to research something on my own without it needing to be assigned to me as schoolwork.
Nice, what did you learn?
@@feliciavale4279 that they worship a moon god.
@@olsonusmaximus Very interesting. The Catholics worship a Hindu god. Mary is called "queen of heaven" and defied.
@@olsonusmaximuswhat
Oh damn, there's a Wikipedia article.
This movie is true, one time I was playing Works of Darkness and my character was too neutral good, so Satan himself rose up from hell, slapped me in the face and changed my character sheet to say chaotic evil. There isn't even a spot for morality on the WoD character sheet. I was never the same again.
*World not Works
Cool story.
Lol
+Remix The fox Get the fuck out of here, furry.
+Pingu actually it was a rather hot story, he ended up setting my room on fire.
Did an actual DM just literally bring Tiamat, the Dragon Queen, on a lone Level 7 Rogue. Not gonna lie, if the DM did that to me, I'll kill myself too.
Well, if they did it to the cleric, tiamat would've died!
I may do this as an April fools
Tbh the player sounded like a "that guy"
They might’ve referenced the old Babylonian daddy that the dragon’s name is derived from.
You, sir, are a dumbass
I think this started as a pornographic parody, but when they realized they couldn't legally release it they cut the sex scenes and made it closer to the comic book.
Kram Alukes It was also a satanist ritualistic production.
That makes a lot of sense
-Should've been a lesbian porno-
@The Dead Peterson Kid fuck if i know dude this was three years ago
@@Ashamedofmyself how does that make sence?
Actual DnD parties are just sitting around a kitchen table eating chicken nuggets and talking back and forth about character lore- honestly sounds a lot more fun to me than the rave in the movie-
Have you been spying on my DND sessions?! You just described it perfectly. Course not all the time. There was one time where one of our members went to our local fried chicken restaurant (not KFC) and ordered like a hundred piece dinner for our group of SIX PEOPLE!!
@@zachscarbrough2727 That is a homie for life right there! Also yeah lore discussions sound sick as hell!
I’d like a rave where we talk about character lore
@@zachscarbrough2727debates get you hungry and heated, I remember this one time me and this girl argued for hours on what the child of a dark and forest elf would look like, eventually we ran to the nearest empty room and made out
@@dionjaywoollaston1349 Behold, the duality of man!
Fearmonger DND: "You cast spells and summon demons and worship them!"
Real DnD: "Catapults a goblin."
*My time has come. Launch me*
My friend tried to do a serious DnD session when we were in high school. It evolved into shrek
@@chaotic.tired.goblin. *absolutely fucking yeets you*
Real DnD: *puts portable hole into a bag of holding to rip a hole in the space-time-continuum*
Nothing like getting thrown on top of a massive beholder, flashbanging it, then setting it on fire, before backflipping off its head while flipping it off.
I was honestly amazed I got so many good rolls in a row.
Oh my god, I just realized.... When the girl gets into RPGs and uses actual Black Magic to evil herself an A+, the paper's title is straight-up "The Complete History of Vampire Maven of Eventide".
At first I was just laughing because she went "evil" and turned in a paper on vampires because Evil, but no, this goes further because after looking into it, Maven of Eventide is a youtube/Channel Awesome reviewer who covers stuff relating to vampire lore while playing a vampire as her reviewer character.
This girl's A+ paper was literally just chronicling a RUclips Channel ft. magic powers because D&D. That's amazing!
Wanna know what's even better? Debbie is played by Maven of the Eventide herself.
@@thirteenfury 🙊
How deep does this rabbit hole go????!
@@thirteenfury holy shit this just got too real.
"Spells, poison, battles, maiming"
Dude I literally played an RPG where everyone was a sentient bear and nobody got maimed.
Honey Heist?
@@30noir I think that was the name! Only played it once, so my memory's a bit fuzzy.
@@329link ha HA, "fuzzy"
Was there posion, spells and/or battles?
@@lifeisgood5619 no poison or spells, though there was a bit of a scrape with some cops.
Did Jon buy a full suit of armor, a sword, and throne just for a 5 second cutaway bit? I can't say I would do the same, but damn, I respect him.
“Quit RPG. It’s your only hope”
Or, ya know, just learn some time management skills
Aww that's cute you think gamers have time management skills
@@RaikanGinro
Smh looks like gamers truly are oppressed by society
@@crepsecularcorvus1674 We live in a society.
Crepsecular Corvus I mean where is the lie?
I’m pretty bad at that with Zelda games
As a RPGer I can tell you this is 100% accurate,we are indeed the coolest kids in any school,spreading the RPG mind set to all we come across,praise cuthulu
Rexy Rex PRAISED BE OUR LORD OF EVIL LARP BRAINWASH!!!
Seeingstarsyet? PRAISE HIM!!!!
Why worship cthulhu when you can worship me?
King kek
(That was an SCP reference)
I love that the director actually made this after he had won a lottery and his main thought was “I’ve always really loved that terrible Dark Dungeons comic. I should really get the rights to it.”
He really used all his winnings on this and even had to get extra money from crowdfunding for it. Respect to that man honestly
You didn't even mention that the madlad only won a $1000 lottery prize. Still a lot of money, but like not *movie* production money. This dude got a nice grand, and instead of paying rent or splurging on a nice phone or something, thought "You know what the universe is telling me to do? Buy the rights to a 90's Christian Propaganda comics strip and start a Kickstarter to make a movie out of it."
@@ThatOneRandomSteve Best use of 1000 dollars ever
The lore is deep and engrossing
@@DarkStormProduction5 Yeah, they clearly acquired the rights for free from Chick just so they could laugh at his back 😂
so much for the "lottery winners have poor financial management skills" theory smDh
It's really funny how jon's videos has a better quality than the movie
"We've been trying to get them thrown off campus for years but they're just. Too. POPULAR!"
Direct quote from the fever dreams of 1980s DnD nerds.
"Really?"
"No, not really, they don't do much harm here, in fact honestly they've been pumping up our college's enrollment rates thanks to their size and fame as a get-together, I honestly didn't think that was even a thing, but yea, KnYSO I guess..."
I love how seamlessly Jon blends into the movie
Do NoT AdJuSt YoUr MoNiToR he was really great in that movie he doesn't remember being in.
Do NoT AdJuSt YoUr MoNiToR I know right
Do NoT AdJuSt YoUr MoNiToR yeah I actually thought he WAS in the movie.
Do NoT AdJuSt YoUr MoNiToR
I wonder if that means that John's got some good equipment, or the film had shit production.
Angry Squirrel Productions then that would explain where the RPG came from
This movie was made out of cheese, just so you know. I’ve seen the bloopers for the cuthulu worshippers, and they can’t take it serious either.
I can't believe Chick Tracts actually endorsed this movie. Everything about it screams "This is a joke."
Thanks for letting me know that exists. That’s some funny stuff.
Didn't know you were a DnD fan Akechi
@@SammyK728 for some reason the abbreviation DnD looks like an emoticon.
@@ansrfururactions Ya know what... yeah that makes sense.
As a Christian. This is absolutely absurd. I laughed so hard at the Larp scene
You're telling me. Even my extremely religious aunt looked at D&D and said, "I don't get how this is satanic." You can even be a cleric.
As a Satanist. This is absolutely absurd. I laughed so hard at the C.S. Lewis part.
As a Pentecostal, my DnD character is a half ork ranger.
As a random guy with no particular beliefs, this is sequence of visuals, that I saw.
I think even as far as into the 90s, fearmongers like Jack T Chick were the minority and did this to feel like they actually meant a fucking shit and since then their relevance just keeps going down as people get more and easier access to information
"I shall slay the helpless foe. I have no mercy, for I am chaotic neutral."
"Excellent RPGing."
10/10 would roleplay again.
Ok time to break this down:
1. Worst DM ever. How would she loose all her weapons and gold? If she's as her first character ever, and not even a character that she made, why would she railroad the noobs like that? That's a huge dick move. Especially if you actually WANT these people to play with you.
2. Just because you are CN doesn't mean you don't have mercy. In fact, I've seen Chaotic Neutral characters show mercy when a Lawful Good would not. It's THE CHARACTER, not the ALIGNMENT, who has the mercy.
3. On that note, if she wanted to spare the enemy for QUESTIONING, that's definitely something she could do, even if you are playing a merciless character.
4. From a player's point of view, it's her first game and doesn't fully understand the game or it's connotations yet. I kinda get the DM's idea of "we gotta go now," but this might be the first time the character actually killed somebody.
Ok i'll Break this down too:
1. Excellent breakdown
2. You've taken this way too seriously
MarKelic :D Well thank you! And yes I do, DnD is my life XD
alignment is supposed to be an indication though...
a lawful good would execute (or at least imprison) Robin Hood because he attacks people and breaks the law by theft.
chaotic neutral can go any way because they are CHAOTIC(choose to obey laws or not) and NEUTRAL(in moral standing).
but yeah, they aren't necessarily going to kill someone BECAUSE they are chaotic neutral...
l33tsamurai Well yes, but when you get down to it Alignment is a role-play aid, and her reasoning for using the said aid in that scenario was the move of a noob being railroaded by a dick of a DM, rather than a Critical Role level of role-playing masterwork as it is painted in the film. Were I in their shoes I'd probably go find other college kids to play with after a few sessions.
Fun fact: JRR Tolkien was the guy who brought CS Lewis to Christ, and they make allusions to each other in their books poking fun at eachother. Like true besties.
Two of the best writers ever
*The more you know!*
Both good lads
Holy crap, that is awesome. Best bros. XD
Lmao, funny how these idiots are condemning writings from Christians/Catholics (JRR was Catholic) which are made with undertones and messages to promote those beliefs (though CS' Narnia was made strictly as a Childrens fairytale according to CS) just because they're fantastical. I guess Puritans are scared of imagination, pretty backwards stuff lol
Bro imagine going to hell and then playing Magic the Gathering with Hitler
I'm sure he plays a burn deck
No, Hitler would try and make you join his game of F.A.T.A.L.
I don't think you would get to play Hitler, it would be like Hitler's dentist....
@@riqueoak7256 I would've thought that he'd be a netdecker.
I bet he plays a red and blue deck
my favorite bit is when they keep repeating "The Shadow.." because it's a reference to Zombie Orpheus's first movie (its called The Gamers, it was made in like 2002 or something and is honestly still pretty solid. I remember loving it as a kid)
Fun fact: the four sided die, shaped like a pyramid, were used as caltrops in self defense when groups of christians would attack DnD games.
@Oscar Wind I know, I thought it was super cool
Is that true?
If only the rest of the world had known this
Were the D12s used with Slingshots?
i love mythology
That Arabic bit makes me laugh every time. And Jon's lack of joke is such a good joke.
right XD I tried to listen a bit maybe they snuck in a butched word or 2
" i aint going near that" haha XD
She isn't even speaking arabic
Man this isnt even arabic and muslims dont believe moon God what is that Terraria's last boss XD
We watched this film at the end of a five-year campaign to celebrate, and the Lebanese guy in our group laughed his ass off at that!
'let's get ready to rpg' spoken by people who have no idea what rpg stands for, and are using an acronym as a verb.
Do you wish to Role Play Game with me?
Its time for us to Adventure and Platforming
Let's shoot em up together
cat in a bucket this one seems to work
ARE YOU READY TO
ROLE
PLAY
GAME?!?!
*crowd cheers*
The 'roleplayers' in this movie are the exact type of people D&D was created to avoid being around
And the type of people who now run (Grand) Wizards of the Coast.
So here’s the thing about this film: the producer won the lottery and wanted to make a movie about this tract, but he got this outside production company to do it. This co. called Zombie Orpheus Productions specialized in low budget fantasy, so when they got wind, they turned up the ham to make it a straight up parody that still slipped under the radar of the author.
Konner Dent change your picture
The same company made Dorkness Rising, which is all D&D.
That is fucking glorious.
this explains a lot, like the implied lesbianism and the Muslim moon worshiper ting
I really hope it's true. Do you have any source ?
As a DnD player I can in fact say I now have access to the real power.
“Now I’ve got your power!” -Mega Man
damnit, I need to find a new group. My old DM persuaded the other PCs to kill my character before I could get to level 8.
They said it could never be done. You have accended from this realm.
U N L I M I T E D
P O W E R
Sadly it's only written in second edition. Everyone best be calculating your thaco.
I have a hard time distinguishing Jon's footage with the actual film..
TheVirtigo I spent most of the video trying to convince myself that those clips weren’t really in the video. I knew it didn’t make sense but some were so well placed and like why would he spend that long setting up for that
The difference between John’s footage and the movers footage is that John’s just has some random guy in it while the other one looks like everyone’s just about wood away from stripping
You know a movie is terrible when you can´t tell the difference between a review skit and the actual movie
I like how the pastor says to burn rock music, like how am I supposed to burn a whole genre of music?
DVD burner
@@WingMaster562 take my like and leave right now
Does this include Christian rock?
It means burn any cds or tapes that you may have that contain rock music.
Everything in this movie could’ve been avoided if the girls knew the warning signs of a bad DM!
Giving them characters they don’t even get to name, telling them about the “true power” which should OBVIOUSLY be achieved after leveling up significantly and going through some character development, making the players leave after they die instead of just making a new character.
Also she’s like in her mid 30s and is playing DND at a college frat party so I think that’s as red of a flag as possible.
Toe to Tip That's a Bart That bitch is in her 50s man.
Don't forget she threatened to just clear their items unless they kill a character.
I keep hearing allusions to older people attending college parties in american media. Is that a common problem over there?
She is probably in her 40's
@@warlordofvideogameglitches 40s? Hell I'd still do her
DnD is a Christian game if you align yourself against demons.
But the Christian game I recommend is Doom because you protect the world against all the forces of hell!
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your super shotgun and Your plasma rifle, they comfort me."
Is it wrong that I read that in Coolio's voice?
don't forget in the original DooM the Doom Marine (Canon wise is the decendant of B.J Blazkowitz from castle wolfenstien) killed the icon of sin, and in doom 2 saved earth and so on.
And in E2M1 in Doom you lose health if you stand in the upside-down cross
Huh I didn't realize that
"The thief who is to the night as the day is to the shadow"
What the hell does that even mean??
No fucking idea
I think they mixed up night and shadow.
"The theif is to the shadow what day is to the night" makes waay more sense, but still not enough tho lol
@@senza4591 another way the film makers had no idea what they’re doing
I think it's supposed to be something like "The thief who is to the night as the shadow is to the day," like, a skulking character or something
It makes it sound like being a thief causes night to happen
Hey I have this one! This is what got me to check out DnD. As a Pastor now, I run groups with the kids in my church.
Nice
pls no diddling thnks
@protectwhatisours6895 Unless he says Trans Rights, you have no need to worry.
The fact that your name is "Dungeon Pastor" gives me hope for people.
@@artisannoteworthy glad to hear that, mate. Doing my best.
this movie feels like an extended porn intro
the lead chicks where fine af
lol
I'd buy that for 5 bucks.
Thanks Jesus!
Murkrust I liked the bit where Shadowleaf was just thrust into a sexy evil outfit.
Because LARP I guess.
Except the only thing that gets fucked is your wallet
Narnia: *has strong religious undertones and Aslan the lion is literally an analogy for Jesus*
Radical Christians: man that some devil shit
Even my Christian middle school knew that. We read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe in 6th grade
Jesus literally cures someone of a genetic condition (leprosy) but a talking lion is unacceptable
@Quinn McDonnell hey I remember a certain group of radical people doing that in the 1930s and 1940s
@Quinn McDonnell communists are much worse, not saying nazis are good but commies killed more
@Quinn McDonnell well you said nazis are the worst, and really they aren't
This movie's production quality makes it look like Jon made the movie up to review it
Right? When Jon was making fun of the conversation between the hooded cult members with him wearing the same hood, I actually thought he was doing a skit with them until he started commentating over it.
Honestly, I couldn't tell when it was fake or the movie. When I saw all of the cult people standing around talking about things and John popped up talkin about Bill Nye I thought it was all just a skit, but then they kept goin. I got so confused.
Although I think this movie would be a lot better if JonTron were actually in it like this.
The main characters were surprisingly good actors. I was expecting utter garbage.
at first i couldn't tell if the scenes were Jon's skits or the actual movie
wait a sec the beginning wasn't a skit? what reality warping wizardry is this?
It took me a while to figure out what Jon had edited in and what was actually the film. For example, at 4:45 he matched the set so well I thought maybe the other guys were acting in his bit and not the original film. Just goes to show how much effort Jon puts into his videos.