Narcissist’s Weaponized Honesty as Self-supply in Late Onset Narcissism
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- The narcissist's honesty is weaponized in 2 ways: 1. Self-disclosure intended to hurt or disillusion 2. Hurtful observations.
Such sadism is antisocial. Narcissist indulges in it when he had become completely self-sufficient via self-supply (self-audiencing).
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I'm surprised the sadistic ones managed to get so far without someone putting them out. I was mystified how my ex-husband (the covert narc freak husband ) managed to make it to me without someone doing him in. How he slipped through the cracks, is what I thought about knowing what I was dealing with.
The answer I came up with is that he stayed away from people. He was a hermit. This guy would be dead if he acted like he did behind closed doors with me to anyone. He wouldn't even make a friend. He knew he was fucked up.
I married a prick like that also , Fu ***** horrific arsehole.
Thats what my husband did to me He used me as a toy an instrument all different types of psychological abuse. It was so many different types I was thinking I haven't seen the same one in a month! For real. And this shit went on everyday for years.
If they could take it as well as they give it, it could be fun and lighthearted.
....disparaging humor..as an example..entertains the narcissist...their brain achieves delightedness...it is within their nature to do so...
Even their greetings are put downs.
Ever see the TV series "Black Adder"? That about sums them up.
This is one of those behaviors that, as you’re experiencing it, even if you’re educated, have some knowledge of human psychology, you can’t quite articulate the suffocating effect it has on you. You know something is off, and if you try to bring to the abuser’s attention, it is swiftly turned into an opportunity to make you wish you’d never said anything. Weaponized honesty was leveraged against me in agonizing ways that eventually made me question my perception of myself and the world. It is truly like a toxic gas filling the room, you have no idea how deadly the air is you’re breathing until you can’t breathe anymore.
This was my ex's favorite strategy. She used it all the time. She really liked to do it when other people were around.
@ironfist859
She needed an audience. How frigging useless they are. My sisters always needed an audience also just to put you down. Wow, how courageous are they - boy they are really something. That means they have no class.
They learn that from a narcissistic parent. The one who poisons everyone to pick on whoever the parent is jealous of or the kid that reminds themselves of themselves. That's who they pick on.
They don't have to talk to you to insult you or disrespect you or be an asshole to you. They can be so on your nerves that your tolerance has just about run out. That's when you tell them it's their lucky day.
Fascinating topic. I think I know someone who has gone through this transition. If it wasn’t so dangerous to get close, I’d like to be a fly on the wall as he completes his self destruction. His supply passed away after over 20 years of being toyed with, tormented, and blamed for every problem he created. There’s nowhere else for him to go for supply but inward.
I am witnessing this right now, and you just can't imagine the level of disorder that is going on. Add in my avid study of astrology, and I really have learned a lot. Sometimes, I feel like I am watching an alien.
Ahh! Someone I know! Aging away, more and more alone, but ever righteous. The never ending tale of the narcissist has so many stories to tell. Thank you for yet another one. Why are there always more surprises ?
The covert I just broke up with would tell me things that were so confusing. He'd be so hurtful but say it with a smile 😢
@my_private_page Sam, I can't believe you replied! Wow. I'm 10.5 months no contact, have never broken contact. I've followed you the entire time. I guess I keep listening to your videos? It's working so far.
My 11 year relationship w a narcissist ended, by his own doing, last month. He was in the final stage, the schizoid, at the very end. This video is helpful understanding what happened recently & the turn of events I couldn't understand completely yet.
I thank for the narc's honesty because they expedite my process of figuring them out. Saves me time
one of the greatest videos for my personal experience. thank you for sharing these informations. c'est formidable
havent found the persons whom I have been around and likely misdiagnosed as narcissists to be big liars…more often to reinterpret reality to paint themselves in a better light OR to use honesty exactly as described here. “Im just being honest” as they smirk is a favorite.
Prof. Vaknin, would you please elaborate on the "Late Onset Narcissism" or direct me to other available sources discussing this matter. Thank you in advance.
My ex, whom I have to see as a coparent, uses past hurtful comments other people said about me. These comments I shared with him bc they hurt, and he lovingly consoled me at the time. He brought one up yesterday that a woman said to me 25 years ago. I think he does this to hurt me, but sadly it reminds me of the love-bombing time. The memory brings me right back to the starry eyed girl who thought her life was perfect bc of the amazing, loving man she was so smart to marry. I honestly remember the feelings of our “perfect” love when he does this instead of the pain of the comment, and then the walls start melting. We have been divorced for three years, but unfortunately I will have to see him for my children’s big events. At least I recognize what he is doing now because of Dr. Vaknin. Thank you for the enlightening videos. The truth is harder to believe than the fantasy.
❤Ema! Almost all" Sabras" are ❤❤❤like that.
What's the difference between a narcissist being honest and a regular person being honest.
The aggression and the sadistic pleasure.
The narcissist im dealing with is 40 year of age and just go let oit of jail and still out here going from female to female still partying still doing substance and still acting violent and can’t control his mind after drinking or partying smh
Don't say my Narc!!!!
@@nicovelz87 I feel u I meant to say my person I’m dealing with cuz narcissist are for the community and everybody
Well, why are you dealing with someone fresh out of jail...
This topic is weird but real in my life with past couple.
Wow
Could sadism be connected to the kill drive? Could sadism act as a way to get a dopamine high? Some animals, for instance, cats, "play with their prey" in order to learn effective killing skills.
In a tiny fraction of sexual sadism there is a connection to killing.
So true
Reminds me of a friend of mine
Friend?...
@@Dystopia2024 Yea, actually I thought he was borderline, based on the symptoms, but later I noticed a pattern of punishing people with absolutely wrong opinions in form of "honest" letters, posts on Reddit and chats, always in written form, so he didn't have to see the reaction. And he did that to at least 15 people, that I know
@@KaraNodrik Thank you for the clarification.
I am now wondering if I am a narcissist. Is it possible I am. I also have been known to feel deep empathy for people suffering and give money to homeless etc. But when I get angry and hurt by my wife I have feelings of hate and contempt for her. I have innattentive adhd and am hyper creative. Man, 39 years. Thanks
Maybe Dr Vaknin can answer your question better than I can. From what I have studied, you cannot feel deep empathy and be a narcissist. Cognitively aware about suffering, is totally different to being able to feel it. You can breathe a sigh of relief that your emotional development from childhood is intact and in full working order.
@@Groundwater24 Thank you.
@@Groundwater24 I definitely feel it - I am talking about bursting into tears at times when I see and hear certain things. But equally I am often critical and rude.
@@Onlylovelystuff Aye, and I completely get it. I’m sure I’ve read that ADHD/ASD folk have this ‘sense of justice’ or ‘truth’ internal dialogue wired into us. That is part of the magic of neurodivergent people, and we (or I do anyway) do not like being lied to or mislead. Also, with ADHD (which I became hyper-focused on the topic) emotional dysregulation is par the course. So the strong feelings towards your wife if she has hurt you or, she might not be on the same page as you at times. Being sad and angry & expressing your feelings is perfectly normal bud.
@@Groundwater24 I wonder how ADHD wanting honesty could look like hurtful honesty in the way Vaknin discusses in the video. I want honesty. I would want someone to tell me I needed a breathe mint or if something looked terrible on me.
Dr. Sam I was wondering, From a scientific unbiased point of view, can we identify people as being psychpaths or narcissist based on the tremendous amount of videos and posts they have on social media? Or would that be false since as you mentioned Sir many times those kind of people always present their "false self image" to new or unaquainted people?
And of course when I say "we" I don't mean ordinary layman like me I mean well educated people or psychologists.
Thanks in advance Dr. Sam
It is possible, if the material contains many unscripted moments.
@@samvaknin Thank you Dr. Sam 🙏
What do you think about balkan politician,like Gruevski Tupurkovski Georgievski ,Ahmeti,Rama ,Vucic ,or legend Tito Which type of narcisist psyhopaths types are . :)
I am not sure what diagnosis I have, beyond ADHD, but I wonder if I have others. Where can I go (online) to find a good psychologist to help me understand myself, why I feel hurt and angry sometimes. Or do you do consultations? Thanks in advance.
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