They're bullies. Stay away from them. ♥️ They're mean to good people because they're jealous. Bullies actually feel inadequate inside. Somehow, it makes them feel better about themselves if they can make good people feel inadequate. They want us to feel like there's something wrong with US. They're sick. ♥️
This woman at my former job spent 6 years trying to find out what truly mattered to me to finally ruin my reputation at work. I had to resign. It was impossible to work.
They suck you dry, stamp on your head and your heart, tear you to shreds and then tell you, "If your hurt it's because there's something wrong with you.
@@susiem44 Thank you for your response to my comment, you're obviously a kind person 😘 It took me many years of agony, to finally realized and accept the truth of what was really happening, but it's a priceless lesson of insight and it enables us the right to a new beggiining. It's a very long, tough climb that follows, but it's worth every effort. God Bless you 🙏🏻💖
@@hannahjones8992 You're welcome!! Please keep this in mind: The Best Revenge is Success!!! We should be spending a lot of time thinking about our careers: planning, figuring out what it will take to make our dreams come true. And, remember that when people put us down, they're trying to feel superior to us, because inside, they're scared. And, you have something they don't have: the ability to be truly happy, because you can Love. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Lol, I've witnessed this. 🤣 It's disturbing and funny at the same time. Some people just walk fast. However, when people are desperately displaying their "leadership," by and while deliberately appearing to lead you around... yep... yeah.
That reminds me of Trumps visit to Britain when he was photographed with the Queen and, I think, his wife. He stepped 2 paces in front of the line of the Queen and his wife for the photo.
As my mother told me when we had an serious argue - ”all good you have is from me, all bad thing are from your father” that’s a good illustration of a grandious narc. I should have laughed if it was in a movie - but it’s a bit harder when it’s in your life.
What I noticed, all narcs have this facial expression of contempt on their faces, like they had a "bad smell under their noses". When they speak, they usually speak with contempt about everything - putting the corners of their mouth downwards. Other thing I noticed, especially with celebrities during interviews, they smile in inappropriate moments. They say about something sad and they smile. This is so characteristic. They have no idea about real emotions. All is fake.
Vaknin's response is interesting and rather narcissistic on this comment, I believe. One is making a remark and a 'lesson' in itself in the form of a RUclips comment. Vaknin retakes control by pointing out he already covered this in other videos. The person, though, never asked for clarification, so Vaknin's comment seems off here. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Interrupting constantly when you’re trying to say something, driving too fast, defiling common resources like creating quantities of smoke over a neighborhood, cranking up the volume; so many ways to do harm and get away with it.
I once looked into the eyes of a woman who I dearly loved, during her dissociative episode, and realised that nothing about who I believed she was was true. It was devastating.
I had that moment with my now ex-wife. 6 months or so into the marriage we got into a heated argument. I don't remember why we argued but it seems like it was probably out of nowhere and over nothing. She was super pissed and stormed off and then 30 seconds later she turned around and came back all sweet, loving, and affectionate as if a switch had been turned or a magic wand had been used, like in a Harry Potter movie or something. This was maybe 6 years ago now but it's burned in my brain. I thought, "Oh, crap, I married a crazy person...she's legitimately crazy." She must have read my face how shocked and appalled I was and never pulled that again, but the lovebombing and devalue back and forth continued throughout the marriage until she finally discarded me.
@@Аноним-щ3нI thought Narcissists couldn't be treated? I heard they don't accept that there is anything to heal because they're perfect. Others are ALWAYS to blame. 🤷♀️
@@NwoDispatchernarcissm is brain damage caused by the brain not developing probably. They do not really love themselves but pretend and they do not have empathy for other people or love them. Self love is just accepting yourself. Which is good for every body. You can love yourself and also love other people.
My narcissistic ex-partner used to scream in my face, with huge eyes, it was so intimidating, it was what triggered me into finally seeing him for who he really was and leaving.
Reminds me of a narc I know. Was about the second or third time we ever met. He invited me to a couple of beers and after we had been talking for a while, I said something that triggered him and he put his face extremely close to mine and shouted "shut your damn f*cking mouth!" I didn't make a move and just said in a normal voice "won't do so.", still looking into his eyes. That was the last reaction he would have expected and for a second I could see his confusion of why his attempt to intimidate me didn't work. He changed topics and very soon left because "had an appointment somewhere"
@@caobita It sounds like maybe he was also testing you in the early stages to see if you were a likely candidate to put up with abuse, thankfully you failed, you did absolutely the right thing, he left because he knew then and there you wouldn't be controllable.
You look like such a delicate intelligent being...a bull belongs on grass not next to angels. Sorry you had to pass through that. It is like crystals attract selfish stupid people who want to possess without appreciating what they found. Finders should not always be keepers.
5:00 - narissict acts totally normally during life-threatening situations and crises. They shift according to the environment 7:45 - INVADING YOUR PERSONAL SPACE. In your face. Expressing power. Extreme intimacy. 10:05 - EYES. Dilated pupils. Only during dissociation. Or when being aggressive. 12:35 - STRONG EYE CONCACT with victims. Territorial. 13:00 - CANNOT ACCEPT PHYSICAL EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE. Disgusted by it. Doesn't want to be touched. But he/she can touch you. POSTURES: 13:50 1. HYPER-VIGILANT PARANOID - scans the room for threats or references to him/her. 14:00 2. EXPECTANT - tries to please/charm you for narcisissist supply. 14:38 3. DISMISSIVE-CONTEMPTUOUS - you are unworthy of his/her resources. 15:05 4. SUPERIOR-BOASTFUL - sales-speech to sell themselves. They are unique and special. Confabulating. 16:17 5. IMPATIENT-SCORNFUL - you are moronic and stupid to him/her. Intellectually inferior. Or too basic for their magnificance. 16:52 6. IMPATIENT-ENTITLED - expecting special treatment & not getting it. 17:50 7. MEMBERSHIP-GRAVITAS - I belong, I am special, you should accept me - I'm already one of you 18:26 8. CONVERTING-EMPATHIC - pretends to be a savior, rescuer, kind & nice. Coaches & experts. 19:27 9. OBSERVER-DETACHED - it's none of my business. He/she's above it all. Helps him/her to observe.
There are quite a few therapists who are covert narcissists. I know this for a fact. My sibling is a psychotherapist and a covert narcissist. Sometimes, I think about his patients and wonder what they see. I know what he is, but they must see a kind therapist who is helpijg them get better. I believe he is the main reason I wound up marrying a covert narcissist.
I just got a restraining order on my former Psychiatrist and ex girlfriend (I was her patient) she is a covert narcissist and enjoys having sex with her patients (I wasn’t the only one) she loves inflicting pain and enjoys watching people in mental pain.
Your sibling groomed you to normalize the narcissistic behaviours that you grew up witnessing. Makes it really difficult to see red flags in your adult relationships. Ignore the comments blaming you.
Sex with my ex narc has made me become celibate, never wanting to be touched again. Every time I would think about sex, flashbacks of disgusting him ruin the feeling.
I agree with you about the eyes changing when they've had a narcissistic injury. I 've seen it in my mother, the look of 'I will retaliate and you will be sorry'.
2 seperate gp's were my ex manbabies flying monkeys....... i always ended up looking like i was an idiot, lying or being over dramatic...... even when he pushed me down the stairs which resulted in me giving birth to my 2nd child the next day..... 6 weeks early.
I spent 3 years with a narcissist. Affected me deeply. I did not wven know the term when I met him. I thought the prob was me. I was so heartbroken, I did not want to live. Only 3 years after, I am now slowly becoming myself and it took and taking a lot of work.
I had a similar experience.. healing now after 3 months out. It's hard.. I have good and bad days. All the youtube therapist channels help a lot.. and people sharing their stories. Thank you!
I’ve been divorced from my narcissist for over 31 years now and I am still recovering from that 17 year marriage. Today would have been our 49th anniversary. A day of both melancholy and celebration.
Very interesting to listen to your explanations. I wasted 19 years with a narcist woman, daughter of a narcist father. In order to satisfy her addiction to attention and admiration, she used to go out with other men. As a result our relationship suffered, hence no children or marriage, and I became an alcoholic. It is a blessing that I got out there at last and married a normal, lovely woman. My alcohol problem is not fully cured, but I can abstain for longer periods. Later my ex-girlfriend became even CEO of a company, I assume mostly by performing "horizontal career steps". Eventually she was kicked out there, presumably after it was realized that she produces nothing but hot air.
You post is great. You did not have kids or did not marry - very responsible. But it could indicate something was already wrong. Shame you have not left earlier before the devastation and alcoholism but you made it. Also the comment of the ' hormonalne career move' made me laugh out loud 😉
I was a little girl when i tried to hug the narcissistic older sibling during a celebration, the reaction was pushing me away with discuss and distain. It affected me greatly
I'm currently co-housing with an adult sibling, could the following behaviors be a sign of narcissism? 1. She doesn't hug anyone, not even her own parents. With her boyfriend as exception. 2. She barely does anything in the household, besides delegating work to others (Especially to her new boyfriend). 3. Tells everyone else that she does everything in the household on her own, making us look bad. 4. When everyone cleans up the table after a family dinner, she remains seated guild free whilst others clean up for her. 5. She constantly insults other house-members, or provides nonconstructive degrading comments. Even towards her parents. 6. Having a grownup discussion about anything only results in an temper tantrum, with high pitched screaming. 7. Nag's that she's gaining weight, forces everyone in the household to cook healthy for her, then spends her evenings eating chips whilst watching TV. 8. Refuses to join our households daily exercise during the evening, claiming she doesn't have any time. Nag's about weight, continues to eat chips and watch TV. 9. Agreeing on household rules is virtually impossible without a lawyer, as she will mold those rules and abuse every loophole there's available to avoid work. 10. Delegates our mother with work/tasks, then goes on an temper tantrum and throws insults at our mom for doing set tasks badly and incorrectly. Or is she just a lazy brat? We both got the same parenting style, I'm mostly the complete opposite and feel bad for accidentally stepping on a snail... She shows zero lack of empathy or remorse, for whatever insult she says to anyone. Our parents are luck-ally nifty enough to see through her false claims, so they don't blame me or any other people for it. However, our sisters behavior does make our parents sad...
Normally children are not diagnosed with that, because they are children and children have different stages of development. Sibling rivalry is a thing, too.
Yep! They all love them Rayban’s. I don’t think I can insert the link, but search Rayban vampire commercial. You don’t say a narc wasn’t behind that advertising back in the day! 🤣
On #8 converting/empathetic, healing & caring professions attract a lot of narcs, for obvious reasons. We have to be vigilent. I had this experience a few years ago in my first and only experience of therapy. Since then I just watch videos like this online. I may try therapy again some day, but I also feel it may be over-rated or may do more harm than good if the one selected isn't knowledgeable enough, or honest enough, etc. We can heal through learning, reading and, as mentioned, watching/listening to lectures like this, as well as simple reflection on things we can change about ourselves to stop giving ammunition to narcs in the first place. Basically it's about boundaries.
The eyes really change! I will never forget his eyes while he was choking me. That really caught my attention. Thank goodness I was saved before getting unconscious.
I hugged him once and it was like hugging a rag doll. Afterwards, he looked like he was drunk but then his demeanor changed abruptly and began yelling at me, as the one with the problem. Shortly after that, he called the police. I’ve never had such an experience before and hope to never again!
Thank you for your series sam. Its the only thing keeping me on this planet. The abuse is overwhelming and I'm glad I have your videos to remind me I'm not as worthless as he makes me
Sam is abusive. He's abusing you further by allowing you to think he's something of all knowing importance. There are real doctors and counselors with actual medical degrees on here that deserve your attention. This guy is exactly what you should be afraid of. He thinks he's leaps ahead of everyone somehow. But he's just a pig like the rest of them. He has zero credentials. They are made up. I watched a very informative documentary on this embarrassment he got big mad when they didn't feed into his games.😂
You know I could really just cry because you are completely correct. My ex-narc did something pretty low to me years ago and I knew he did it and he knew he did it. fast forward a few years he got in trouble about something and had to take a lie detector test concerning if he had did this very bad thing to anyone else and when I tell you he PASSED and I was dumbfounded so yes this is true I've seen him change his posture and all to get an emotion out of someone . He just never knew I was always watching him.
My 1st husband's eyes would change and at that moment I knew he'd be in my face, etc. His pupils always would get very small. Always. Very frightening.
Yes. The way my sister would stare at me. I never understood it. These videos & comments from others are making it all clearer to me now. Thank you to Sam for enlightening us. And thank you to all who share their stories. It helps me understand that it wasn't my fault. Sam helped me turn the corner when he said in one of his interviews. "It's not your fault. Just remember you have been trying to live with & deal with a 2 year old child." Looking forward to moving on now. ❤❤
Amazing! Thank you for this. I am learning SO much. I don't know if my ex-wife was NPD, BPD, or....I don't know. But I know she utterly lacked empathy. She hated it when I just shut her off during the end of our marriage and now I have gone no contact. I should have done that 2.5 years ago when our divorce was done, but I have done it, a couple months ago. It is not just romantic relationships. It can be: coworkers, family members, members of society, friends.....you name it. Getting my knowledge up on this is helping me to identify it more easily. These people are tricky. You really have to listen to the CONTENT of what they are actually saying. Body language is not a great indicator, but their words will tell you a lot about what is going on and where they might be; as opposed to what they are presenting outwardly.
They are predators staring like that saying, yum that’s my next feed lol. I remember our first dinner date and he was looking like that and it wasn’t the salmon. Lol
It also happens with emojis. I find it hilarious. It's so predictable that you can just sit there and mess with them. Give them supply after insulting them. They're so desperate that they'll just continue to simp even after a subtle insult that everyone else hears except them and their suppliers.
Yep. I know it. And the pursed crooked smirk that goes along with it. It was endearing until I saw him do it repeatedly when trying to manipulate other people. His use of body language was calculated and measured and was very disarming when he wished to draw people in.
Ohhhh... thank you! I did not know they snap shot themselves too! This makes so much sense.. I could never understand how he saw he's physical appearance to be so brilliant when in reality, and measured against social norms... he's physically was nothing special. Not "ugly" .. but just not anything notable.
Thank you for this... I believe you're spot on... something I've noticed in my most current relationship with a narcissist... you can tell way more about him by watching his body language than from what he actually says or doesn't say... and even then, it's very tricky. My best "defense" is to go grey rock as much as possible while figuring the best way to get my real life back.
I have been studying the subject autodidactically for a very long time and have immersed myself very deeply. You are the first to verbalize the complexity of the matter in an understandable way without losing scientificity. One thing I have been thinking about for a very long time is whether there is a narcissist 2.0? That is, due to the omnipresence of the subject, many narcissists are adapting their behavior (unconsciously or consciously). That is, they anticipate that the classic behavior will be increasingly sanctioned and, above all, will also bring little return. Perhaps it also goes so far that the narcissist 2.0 adopts a highly functional persona with which he even identifies. Isn't it likely that the narcissist software is also continually updated in many narcissists who have the capacity to do so? Might also be a good topic for a video. Greetings from Germany
IMHO…They will frequently test the waters, or step with just one big toe over the line and watch what happens, and if they can get away with their old behavior patterns they will keep pushing it till they are back to 1.0 😁. Who they are never changes, nobody really ever changes, but they can control their behavior if it will make more problems than it is worth for them. The 2.0 you mention is just them controlling certain aspects of their personality to prevent problems they don’t want to deal with. They are still the same person, and it has nothing to do with your feelings. Remember how charming they can be to people that don’t know them very well. They know how to control themselves, and they know when to use that control.
@samvaknin you ARE a self identified narcissist. You *think* you're smart and have labeled and dx'd yourself. You are not even a doctor. You make shit up and you are not transparent about your lack of real credentials. You are exactly what this gentleman is describing. What an embarrassment to the field 😂
My narc mother never let us touch her hair when we were kids. She also famously never wanted manicures, pedicures or professional massages. I always thought that was weird.
Well,on the personel level i have noticed that narcissistic people once they know they cannot control you,they go crazy and take appropriare measures to force you to acknowledge them by hurting you even more.That brings them a lot of relief and the sense of power over you.The lack of true empathy does not allow them to see sadism behind their actions as that's the norm for them.
One thing I noticed about the Malignant Narcissist I was in an "intimate" relationship with, he never touched my face and always looked uncomfortable when I touched his. Before he had a rage and his pupils completely dilated so the whole of his eyeballs looked black (like some animal's or the Rosswell alien) 👽, I had commented that there was something different about his eyes. It struck me when he was up close. He looked very nervous when I said this. I often felt unnerved by his gaze. It felt all consuming. His eyes had a glassy flat look and the only time they had a spark was when he was smirking. Usually this was when he was lying and hoodwinking me or ridiculing some old supply and doing his unnerving joker laugh.
Damn ! Best video I have ever seen, aboustly informative , Thank you sir , this will get me over the finish line , less scared , my dogs and I might just make it out alive!
I read the FBI article you referenced and agree that more training is needed for to keep law enforcement from being manipulated by them. What worries me is learning the DSM-5 will include psychopathy as a mental illness in that edition. Seems to me criminal defense lawyers will have a field day with this claiming insanity for their psychopathic clients! Clearly psychopaths need to have a very good reason not to commit a crime they may be contemplating. A long prison sentence can be a healthy deterrent for these predatory people. I was a very naive 21 yr old when I married a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies. It took nearly 20 years to finally realize there was no hope of ever changing him. He would use his wealth to manipulate people and the system. I was expected to be his arm candy who personified his wholesome family guy facade. How I’d love to have those lost years back. Thank you for educating people about narcissism. You’re saving lives.
My dad and ex husband both would get in my face for intimidation. My dad punched holes in walls by my head. My ex was physically abusive. My dad def has that piercing stare. I think sometimes I have a piercing stare sometimes but his feels like ice. I had a friend in HS say she had a nightmare that he was in bc of that stare. Of course most of the time he could be the jovial, helpful, charming guy around town, the public persona. Both my parents have been very controlling, contemptuous and judgmental, and still are (I’m 40!) I wish I’d known about all of this when I was young.
The psychopaths ability to control its own emotions is beyond anything I can understand and honestly a part of me wishes I had that kind of control. They seem to have no pain. Used to be obsessed with trying to understand it.
They have a brain which puts themselves first...any emotions are directed by that. So they seem emotionless to us where our interests are concerned or they put a facade of fake emotion to gather the sympathy points from others. Guess Life is a Game for them. Others are just pawns on a chess board. They need to win.
@@user-mk5ud8xs2r yes. I ve observed it and I was a pupppet once trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. It seems to attract Empaths. Happy you are aware and know how to navigate such a thing. Discernment needed is an understatement.
@@christinasportiello9542 it took me years to admit it to myself. In my case the narcissist is my mother. And everything was a fake act right from the start of her marriage (if not before!). Guess she wanted a family to be like others or better. And she made me to keep my father around for longer though she didn't love him.
The idea of it being a choice is what I have subscribed to having been close to a narcissistic Borderline sufferer for many years and having taken notes. What a combination. Yes, it is a choice that is dependent on environment, will happen someplace, won't happen others. Totally agree.
This has to be told in the school,of course late years.This people is dangerous,but in the same time need help.Thank you professor ✌️🌹I have got my narcissist 2 children from my narcissistic husband 😢and it is my fault I didn’t lived him before destroying my family 😡🥹I was in love,he was working in police criminal ☹️😳🥹applying on me and my sons all what he was learning there .Me and my sons doing well now after 25 years recovering 😡💪😇
These people are dangerous, yes, But the reason we are not educated about this topic in school, is that there are so many of these people in the political world...the world is literally run by narcissists and psychopaths. They don't want all us seeing them for what they are, or we'd never vote for any of them.
I can’t see this being taught in schools. Schools are meant to breed employees for corporations. The majority of CEOs and high rank people of corporations are unfortunately some type of narc..
You have described my brother perfectly. Thank you for helping me defend myself from this ass hole. Moving cross country to get away from him ❤ and looking forward to it!
I can look back and see now how he worked a room. Even if it was just me in the room. And then become so completely unrecognizable at a party. All I remember feeling was confused. Asking myself who is this person? And not understanding. I do now.
seen that evil look 💀, walking all mighty with hands spreaded aside, but the most horrific is the laughter that appears only when something bad happens to the others 👺
My landlords wife, used to the posch life had to downsize to the tiny suite in the basement of her 1.6 million dollar house after a 6 month trip, travel spending spree abroad after inheriting a large sum after her father’s death. She came complaining to me, her ,her husband, new baby and mother in law are moving into the tiny 2 bedroom downstairs. She’s used to her 4 bed, 3 bath total upstairs of her house. Well, envy ensued. Her mother in law doesn’t know she smokes so she overstepped her boundaries, making my front door patio area her new smoking Pitt. I told her new arrangements had to be made, she laughed and said it was only going to be just 2 or 3 days. The weekend went by.. I see her smoking on my deck over and over as we were not home. She has an entire back yard and personal entrance at the back of the house to smoke… I confronted her a second time… she laughed. I said, “ this is not a smoking Pitt, this is my home”. She stared at me blankly, smiling shyly… “I know,” she said. I repeated… “ “I know, she said” finally, she repeated, “(a week later) “it’s only going to be 2or 3 days… “I said, no!… now!!!” She stared blankly… paused. I said,”it’s making us uncomfortable. I offered her chairs, an ashtray, she said she has some! She has ignored me since till yesterday when she took “all” of my red ripe tomatoes from my garden, while munching, offered me some of “her” tomatoes. Now I have to wait for the green ones to ripen so I can get some. She’s keniving, and spiteful… jealous of our comfort…. Overstepping her boundaries because “she owns the property “. Honestly, people make me sick. The less people I know, the better.
As someone repeatedly severely traumatised and psychologically tortured since birth and having been gaslit to oblivion and stuck with ptsd I can say how absolutely destroying it is for narcissists to learn info like this and use it within their psychological attacks on their victims. And still, no one non-narcissist around you believes what they are doing.
I cannot believe the answers you are providing me. While I thought I had an honest program I was tricking myself about my relationship. It’s those little things that seemed weird that you described as if you knew him. Oh yes, it was all there, not good times and bad times. This is really unfamiliar territory. Thank you.
One ends up distrusting toxic behaviour, sometimes even when the truth is told. Once u've been abused by 1 - u learn to answer them with body language - by disengaging without saying a word - homing the message accross that they do not have control over u. It's the forerunner of no contact.
I've been refused help Sam....told I've got a cluster B issue...been in the system since I was 15...they did a number on me ...53years old now...tossed on a therapy scrap heap...given up on...they can't help me....all of a sudden I'm cured of my personality....but we know Sam...there is no cure for B personality....but I look at you and your doing good for others...with your personal knowledge...I'm so grateful for...I recognise myself in what you say.....it's like we are this and then we are that....and when you put it all together instead of it being fractured...it's very ugly indeed..
My narcissistic mother openly admitted to my enabler step father that as a child she was called “King” yes king not queen. That she would have to eat first before her parents and younger siblings. And she was so proud of it. How crazy is that?
My narcissistic family has for years illegally entered my home and/or car and rifled through my papers and belongings. The one that claims she is a mother, has stolen clothing, cleaning supplies, food, toiletries, all items I would have given or purchases for them. Its not enough to steal, they started taking discarded food and toiletries from the the trash and putting them in my freezer, refrigerator and bathroom. This could have caused disease. Same with clothing, leaving clothing that was never mine. People who don't work a REAL job have plenty of time to play mind games and commit crimes.
Professor, thank you for your videos, they allowed me to get out of the maze that is a relationship with a narcissist. The sad thing is that only someone who has been in such a relationship will truly understand it. The pain you go through when it all comes together to figure out who the person you loved is indescribable. Their game is masterful, which still makes me wonder if it could be true. But subsequent videos confirm this. I once insulted him because I thought he was cheating on me again, but I apologized. But it didn't matter, I had to be punished, then he did those strange eyes and some cruel thing and used the child as a tool to show me how stupid I was. At that moment, the sirens inside me sounded the alarm and I realized who I was dealing with. I'm getting a divorce but I have no evidence to do anything, these things always happened without anyone seeing, everyone still thinks he's an angel. I have to let him see my child even though I'm so worried about him. Now I understand his fierce care for his body, I understand how in 10 years he has never missed a workout, he is a robot. He once devoted himself so intensely to the gym and work that his heart couldn't handle it, he got cardiac arrest. He was resuscitated, they saved him, I was so naive that after that I cared for him so much and prayed for his health...
Very interesting. My ex used to sit in his " Napoleon" pose, one hand in his jacket on his chest to show off his superiority, with the little smirk on his face...
Great video!🎉🎉🎉 I used to have 10 -15 friends. Now I have almost none and I am happier than I've ever been 😂 of course, I am narcissist too to some extent...
Wow Thanks you described my female coworker friend of 18 months. The last 4 weeks I have been trying to get away from her . I found out way too much about her and she is lost in her mind . I am relocating away . I had to break off this work friend because she clung to me and when I had taken on new work responsibilities to boss her she was not right very upset doing safety issues .
I was caretaker to narc for twn years.also he was schizophrenic. It was horrible. I had chance at 3 beautiful relationships in that time but they didn't happen because i was so messed up because of narc. One of the many games he played was putting his hands in my space when in restaurant or car.i started butting stuff on front seat so he had to sit in the back. He was so nasty. Thank God thats over. Truly thank God.
He stares at women / girls at bars in fast food lines when he’s ordering . He thinks it’s sexy and he Waits until they look away or look back at him and smile. Women would smile back at him when he was younger , now he’s an old man it’s creepy when he does it but HE thinks he is still attractive and he feels it will still work and get the attention of girls and women ,like he did 20 yrs ago.
Are you indirectly saying majority of women are what you are describing? Because women still think they still have the body to get what they want by a "simple shy gaze" or that they still got it even when they are over 50. The "simply shy gaze" is a trap move narcissists after hearing of it easily master. I hope you know that?
When i was a child. Mommy never hugged or kissed me, and she pushed me away so i couldn't touch her. When i was abused by a teacher, i had no one to tell because Saint Mommy pushed me away and told me to go out and play, so i wandered the town for hours everyday.
I am truly sorry for your pain. Was your mother perhaps a victim of abuse as well? I have known a number of covert narcissist parents who had been victims of severe verbal & physical abuse as children, including even sexual abuse, & because they had to go through it, they feel others need to just suck it up & deal with it, keep it secret, not whine about it. And rather than protect the victims, & punish the abusers, they worry more about themselves, about appearances, about their own comfort & security & allow the continuation of abuse while pretending not to see the signs. Besides, they don't want to be bothered with other people's problems because it takes all the time & attention away from the person that they really want to talk about--themself. I notice that these parents also choose a golden child, a black sheep & the rest are basically invisible--only the golden child received any affection, praise, cuddles, & they were always 'supposedly' like the parent, meaning if they were attractive, then they inherited it from that parent, if they are intelligent, talented, skilled at anything, or socially popular, then it was because they were just like that parent. The golden child could do no wrong, & every wrong is somehow turned into some amusing story, where as the black sheep can do no good, & every good act is turned into a bad act, it is even exaggerated & made far worse than what actually happened, & they are severely humiliated & punished for it. Furthermore, when the golden child either makes or buys a cheap gift for this parent, it is considered the most perfect & thoughtful gift, they knew them so well, however the black sheep can buy an expensive gift & it's viewed with open contempt & tossed aside even when others bring attention to the generosity of this expensive gift, & the gifts from the invisible children just don't matter at all, they are set aside without comment or may recieve fake gratitude. Oddly, it's often the black sheep that the parent turns to for help or whines or gripes to about the unfairness of life not giving them all they should be entitled to, they are also the verbal punching bag, the one who is talked down to & criticized, & the one who comes to their rescue despite all their abuse, because the golden child & invisible child make themselves unavailable or simply won't listen to all the negativity & game playing. The Black Sheep is caught up in a love & hate relationship, they dislike their parent intensely, but may feel sorry for them, or maybe, they are still trying to win them over & please them, which is impossible to do. They are never truly satisfied with anything that anyone does for them, they are never happy & they'll even fake illnesses or over-exaggerate them in order to get attention from those around them, & tend to play the victim, claiming that those that they abused, were their abusers. I have a friend who after decades of abuse, is still catering to her father, who uses & takes advantage of her at every opportunity, & yet, still she is the black sheep & her sibling, who doesn't even visit him, is still his favorite. I am the Black Sheep who dislikes, but feels sorry for my old, covert, manipulative, hypochondriac, hoarding mother who has driven everyone away with her negativity. I feel sorry for my friends who were only children, because they tend to be both the golden child & the black sheep. Are you perhaps the chosen Black Sheep of your family as well?
@@imgoldenspyder9409 I guess I am the Black Sheep of my family that no one loved, who was sort of put down when young when I got good grades in school, like they wanted me to be "less than" they were. An only child they tried to abort with pills, then my mother who did not seem to want children threw away the rest of the pills as she "was healthy and not too old. " She often called me The Child often, and started hitting me when I was a baby, and after my father told her to stop she did it when he was away when I was small by sitting on me and grabbing my hand to use it to hit me in my own face. So on and so forth. I've often wondered how she was treated as a child tho she made her mother out to be a saint and said her drunken father chased them around the house outside with a gun. ...a relative older than me said that Mom's mother was actually a cold bitch, so there at least had to be a lack of love for mom who wss the girl. Thank you for taking time to reply to me! Best wishes!
@@imgoldenspyder9409 @imgoldenspyder9409 I guess I am the Black Sheep of my family that no one loved, who was sort of put down when young when I got good grades in school, like they wanted me to be "less than" they were. An only child they tried to abort with pills, then my mother who did not seem to want children threw away the rest of the pills as she "was healthy and not too old. " She often called me The Child often, and started hitting me when I was a baby, and after my father told her to stop she did it when he was away when I was small by sitting on me and grabbing my hand to use it to hit me in my own face. So on and so forth. I've often wondered how she was treated as a child tho she made her mother out to be a saint and said her drunken father chased them around the house outside with a gun. ...a relative older than me said that Mom's mother was actually a cold bitch, so there at least had to be a lack of love for mom who wss the girl. Thank you for taking time to reply to me! Best wishes!
I'm seeing a troubling pattern of people labeling anyone who they have had relationship trouble with as narcissists or sociopathic/psychopathic. I suspect there is a large amount of confirmation bias and scapegoating going on.
I’ve noticed that too.The good thing about people learning about these disorders is they might be able to discern those who may actually have a true,full blown disorder and avoid it. People can have traits but not have a personality disorder. When faced with those who DO? In time,you usually recognize it bc there are behaviors those without a PD wouldn’t do bc these have a line in the sand they won’t cross. PD’s cross the line and then some…..
My ex-husband was very affectionate and charming at the beginning. Later, he stopped showing me any affection and when I confronted him about it, he told mw in my face "I'm not capable to show any affection and if I did I would be pretending. Would you like me to pretend?" I was absolutely mind blown by him. When we had those discussions and I would ask him about him not being affectionate and intimate with me he would say "you also don't give me any blowj*obs anymore 🥵 these things were for him on the same level.
Sometimes a psychopath will tell you the truth...but make it seem like a lie. And if you dont believe them...they love it because it means they can play with your mind now. They now can do anything and know how to read your reaction. They are crazy strategic. For example...if they go to the gym and you dont believe them....they could play around with that and go or not go to the gym and see if they could get you to believe them. If you DONT believe them that's perfect because they know you are wrong and they won't even try to make you believe them sometimes. They rather see your mind be unsure of itself. So if you don't believe them....it is your fault for reading it wrong even though they make it purposely difficult to tell the truth. Does this make sense? It's almost like they get joy in misdirecting people. Like the only way they feel in control is by making everyone else lose control.
@@samvaknin Ive heard that term but never really understood how they use it. It's very clever and sneaky. Gotta make sure your head is on straight when dealing with them. Thank you for spreading awareness. This is so important to know. This way everyone can understand the games they play. Thank you thank you!
when I left home I was 32. When/if I see my wife looking at me, my heartbeat increases rapidly and I feel scared and confused. I taught myself to ask her “did I do something wrong or are you angry or why she is staring at me”. She replies every time that she wasn’t thinking anything and that she just simply looked at me. mind you I’m 40 now and every time when she looks at me I get scared as if I did something wrong. That’s what my mother did to both my sister and i. Now I have to witness my wife go through the same thing with her sister. wish narcissism carried a jail sentence.
Can't there be a dating app for narcissists and psychopats only so they get together and leave everyone else alone :)
They wouldn't get the "supply" they need if they dated other Narc's ... they prefer to feed on the energy of empaths
Hahaha. They'd probably get together and plot world destruction and domination. Be careful what you wish for. 😂
@@therealdeal3672 :)) I guess you're right though they might never agree who's boss and implode 💥😁
@@sashosom This scenario is well depicted in Tintin Flight 714, in the bunker in the argument between Rastapopoulous and Carreiadas under truth serum.
No
That piercing stare where they are sizing you up, where they are noticing obvious weaknesses. It's the stare of a predator.
Watch the videos on cold empathy.
They're bullies.
Stay away from them. ♥️
They're mean to good people because they're jealous. Bullies actually feel inadequate inside. Somehow, it makes them feel better about themselves if they can make good people feel inadequate. They want us to feel like there's something wrong with US.
They're sick. ♥️
Omg I always experienced that too!
This woman at my former job spent 6 years trying to find out what truly mattered to me to finally ruin my reputation at work. I had to resign. It was impossible to work.
@@deborahserafin8253same🙏🙏🥺😔💕💕🕊️
They suck you dry, stamp on your head and your heart, tear you to shreds and then tell you, "If your hurt it's because there's something wrong with you.
Honey, please don't think about mean people. They're not worth your time!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
@@susiem44 Thank you for your response to my comment, you're obviously a kind person 😘 It took me many years of agony, to finally realized and accept the truth of what was really happening, but it's a priceless lesson of insight and it enables us the right to a new beggiining. It's a very long, tough climb that follows, but it's worth every effort. God Bless you 🙏🏻💖
@@hannahjones8992 You're welcome!!
Please keep this in mind: The Best Revenge is Success!!!
We should be spending a lot of time thinking about our careers: planning, figuring out what it will take to make our dreams come true.
And, remember that when people put us down, they're trying to feel superior to us, because inside, they're scared.
And, you have something they don't have: the ability to be truly happy, because you can Love. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
@@hannahjones8992
P.S. Please listen to this Gloria Gaynor song: "I Will Survive."
You know it.
I’ve been out of a twenty year relationship since 2007. I still have nightmares about that smirk when he knew he was hurting me and I didn’t know yet.
Left mine in 2008. I know exactly how you feel.
I have seen that horrible smirk. A gentle guy acting suddenly sociopathic
I know exactly what you mean.😢 I’m so sad so many us have gone through this but also feel a little better that I’m not alone.
We need to forgive ourselves for not knowing before we learned it ❤
Omg my ex of last night, 7 years he always smiles especially right before he changes into his evil self. Right before he's about to do something
They literally march ahead of other people to demonstrate their kingly/queenly superiority. This is one to watch out for. Good video- thank you.
Or the footpath is too narrow/ not all people like others in their personal space/ walking, leading the way to the goal....etc.
Maybe you walk too slowly.Mighty presumptuous there...
Lol, I've witnessed this. 🤣 It's disturbing and funny at the same time. Some people just walk fast. However, when people are desperately displaying their "leadership," by and while deliberately appearing to lead you around... yep... yeah.
That reminds me of Trumps visit to Britain when he was photographed with the Queen and, I think, his wife. He stepped 2 paces in front of the line of the Queen and his wife for the photo.
He used to scuttle behind me...I once said that I wanted us to walk side by side facing life together....like that ever happened 😂
As my mother told me when we had an serious argue - ”all good you have is from me, all bad thing are from your father” that’s a good illustration of a grandious narc. I should have laughed if it was in a movie - but it’s a bit harder when it’s in your life.
🤣🤣🤣❗ My dad told me the same in 9 out of 10 times! 😂
My mother would just buy me things to brag about it and make my father look bad.
The poor, poor me - the victim slouch with head and eyes downcast (trying to appear as the innocent victim). LOL
this one all day!
😂😂
Isn't this something that all women do though? Even "Princess" Diana used to do this during public appearances!
@@vinayseth5899 ALL women? No f'n way! Some, yes.
U hit the nail in the head.
What I noticed, all narcs have this facial expression of contempt on their faces, like they had a "bad smell under their noses". When they speak, they usually speak with contempt about everything - putting the corners of their mouth downwards. Other thing I noticed, especially with celebrities during interviews, they smile in inappropriate moments. They say about something sad and they smile. This is so characteristic. They have no idea about real emotions. All is fake.
This is known as inappropriate affect. Search the channel.
Cocaine helps that smile
Cruella Braverman has this expression....Starmer too
Vaknin's response is interesting and rather narcissistic on this comment, I believe. One is making a remark and a 'lesson' in itself in the form of a RUclips comment. Vaknin retakes control by pointing out he already covered this in other videos. The person, though, never asked for clarification, so Vaknin's comment seems off here. Correct me if I'm wrong.
@@SebastiaanVazyour know-it-all attitude feels off. Narcissistic even.
Interrupting constantly when you’re trying to say something, driving too fast, defiling common resources like creating quantities of smoke over a neighborhood, cranking up the volume; so many ways to do harm and get away with it.
Ah narcopaths love creating destruction and chaos!
I once looked into the eyes of a woman who I dearly loved, during her dissociative episode, and realised that nothing about who I believed she was was true. It was devastating.
You no longer saw yourself in her gaze. End of fantasy. Beginning of healing.
yet it is so little talked about narcissist females. I've seen what they are capable of
I had that moment with my now ex-wife.
6 months or so into the marriage we got into a heated argument. I don't remember why we argued but it seems like it was probably out of nowhere and over nothing.
She was super pissed and stormed off and then 30 seconds later she turned around and came back all sweet, loving, and affectionate as if a switch had been turned or a magic wand had been used, like in a Harry Potter movie or something.
This was maybe 6 years ago now but it's burned in my brain. I thought, "Oh, crap, I married a crazy person...she's legitimately crazy."
She must have read my face how shocked and appalled I was and never pulled that again, but the lovebombing and devalue back and forth continued throughout the marriage until she finally discarded me.
‘Mine’ strangled me 6th weeks ago! I know this state all too well… and up freakn close!
@@Аноним-щ3нI thought Narcissists couldn't be treated? I heard they don't accept that there is anything to heal because they're perfect. Others are ALWAYS to blame. 🤷♀️
Narcissists never cease to be narcissists.
Narcissism, gets worse throughout the years.
What's the difference between narcissism and self love?
@@NwoDispatcher self love is making yourself feel loved, narcissism is making your self feel loved at the expense of others mental health.
@@tessemi and when others mental health is fragile and tries to induce you into walking on eggshells?
@@NwoDispatchernarcissm is brain damage caused by the brain not developing probably. They do not really love themselves but pretend and they do not have empathy for other people or love them. Self love is just accepting yourself. Which is good for every body. You can love yourself and also love other people.
My narcissistic ex-partner used to scream in my face, with huge eyes, it was so intimidating, it was what triggered me into finally seeing him for who he really was and leaving.
Reminds me of a narc I know. Was about the second or third time we ever met. He invited me to a couple of beers and after we had been talking for a while, I said something that triggered him and he put his face extremely close to mine and shouted "shut your damn f*cking mouth!" I didn't make a move and just said in a normal voice "won't do so.", still looking into his eyes. That was the last reaction he would have expected and for a second I could see his confusion of why his attempt to intimidate me didn't work. He changed topics and very soon left because "had an appointment somewhere"
@@caobita It sounds like maybe he was also testing you in the early stages to see if you were a likely candidate to put up with abuse, thankfully you failed, you did absolutely the right thing, he left because he knew then and there you wouldn't be controllable.
@@cassandrawinona8748 yes, I think that's it. 🖒
You look like such a delicate intelligent being...a bull belongs on grass not next to angels. Sorry you had to pass through that. It is like crystals attract selfish stupid people who want to possess without appreciating what they found. Finders should not always be keepers.
@@caobitaprobably a Dorsa
5:00 - narissict acts totally normally during life-threatening situations and crises. They shift according to the environment
7:45 - INVADING YOUR PERSONAL SPACE. In your face. Expressing power. Extreme intimacy.
10:05 - EYES. Dilated pupils. Only during dissociation. Or when being aggressive.
12:35 - STRONG EYE CONCACT with victims. Territorial.
13:00 - CANNOT ACCEPT PHYSICAL EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE. Disgusted by it. Doesn't want to be touched. But he/she can touch you.
POSTURES:
13:50 1. HYPER-VIGILANT PARANOID - scans the room for threats or references to him/her.
14:00 2. EXPECTANT - tries to please/charm you for narcisissist supply.
14:38 3. DISMISSIVE-CONTEMPTUOUS - you are unworthy of his/her resources.
15:05 4. SUPERIOR-BOASTFUL - sales-speech to sell themselves. They are unique and special. Confabulating.
16:17 5. IMPATIENT-SCORNFUL - you are moronic and stupid to him/her. Intellectually inferior. Or too basic for their magnificance.
16:52 6. IMPATIENT-ENTITLED - expecting special treatment & not getting it.
17:50 7. MEMBERSHIP-GRAVITAS - I belong, I am special, you should accept me - I'm already one of you
18:26 8. CONVERTING-EMPATHIC - pretends to be a savior, rescuer, kind & nice. Coaches & experts.
19:27 9. OBSERVER-DETACHED - it's none of my business. He/she's above it all. Helps him/her to observe.
thankyou very much
That's the description of a prophet or any kind of cult leader.
too much of psychopathy focus on the controlling and egoistic aspects, but the big element is emotional control and awareness, 5:00
I think you just described most all politicians of both major politicians.
@@Аноним-щ3н OMG. You just revealed that this is how YOU are. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
There are quite a few therapists who are covert narcissists. I know this for a fact. My sibling is a psychotherapist and a covert narcissist. Sometimes, I think about his patients and wonder what they see. I know what he is, but they must see a kind therapist who is helpijg them get better. I believe he is the main reason I wound up marrying a covert narcissist.
@@EllasTarot-hj6mw People don’t like taking accountability. Everyone’s somehow a narcissist nowadays.
I just got a restraining order on my former Psychiatrist and ex girlfriend (I was her patient) she is a covert narcissist and enjoys having sex with her patients (I wasn’t the only one) she loves inflicting pain and enjoys watching people in mental pain.
Your sibling groomed you to normalize the narcissistic behaviours that you grew up witnessing. Makes it really difficult to see red flags in your adult relationships. Ignore the comments blaming you.
Aaooww
Dr Hare has a section in Mask of Sanity about The Psychopath as Therapist
Sex with my ex narc has made me become celibate, never wanting to be touched again. Every time I would think about sex, flashbacks of disgusting him ruin the feeling.
@@geoattoronto yes
I agree 💯😑
Om sorry that happened to you 😮
I had to be educated by the battered women's help group that not all men are like that and I can trust some of them. Thank you!!
Same here
I agree with you about the eyes changing when they've had a narcissistic injury. I 've seen it in my mother, the look of 'I will retaliate and you will be sorry'.
oh yes..... been there🙄
My GP was a unstable narcissist, just because a person is in a certain profession doesn’t stop sociopath joining
Me too, any profession which is deemed “successful” in societies eyes attract them.
Doctor, lawyer, police officer, cruise ship captain etc
true. Psychotherapists as well.
I had two doctors that were and showed their colors at the end of their tenure. Shocking behavior.
2 seperate gp's were my ex manbabies flying monkeys....... i always ended up looking like i was an idiot, lying or being over dramatic...... even when he pushed me down the stairs which resulted in me giving birth to my 2nd child the next day..... 6 weeks early.
I could write a book about mine. Too bad we all can’t get together for coffee and a chat. 🙏
I spent 3 years with a narcissist. Affected me deeply. I did not wven know the term when I met him. I thought the prob was me. I was so heartbroken, I did not want to live. Only 3 years after, I am now slowly becoming myself and it took and taking a lot of work.
I had a similar experience.. healing now after 3 months out. It's hard.. I have good and bad days. All the youtube therapist channels help a lot.. and people sharing their stories. Thank you!
I’ve been divorced from my narcissist for over 31 years now and I am still recovering from that 17 year marriage. Today would have been our 49th anniversary. A day of both melancholy and celebration.
Your stronger and at peace now it’s worth it I’m with u
Very interesting to listen to your explanations. I wasted 19 years with a narcist woman, daughter of a narcist father. In order to satisfy her addiction to attention and admiration, she used to go out with other men. As a result our relationship suffered, hence no children or marriage, and I became an alcoholic. It is a blessing that I got out there at last and married a normal, lovely woman. My alcohol problem is not fully cured, but I can abstain for longer periods.
Later my ex-girlfriend became even CEO of a company, I assume mostly by performing "horizontal career steps". Eventually she was kicked out there, presumably after it was realized that she produces nothing but hot air.
You post is great. You did not have kids or did not marry - very responsible. But it could indicate something was already wrong. Shame you have not left earlier before the devastation and alcoholism but you made it.
Also the comment of the ' hormonalne career move' made me laugh out loud 😉
My ex farther in-law had dead eyes. Like a dead fishes eyes. I never had a normal conversation with him in 20 years.
Exactly dead fishes eyes
I was a little girl when i tried to hug the narcissistic older sibling during a celebration, the reaction was pushing me away with discuss and distain. It affected me greatly
my Narcistic father , never hugged me , ever
I am not sure If he is a narcissist, but he has never hugged me. When I was a kid, I tried to hug him. He was Frozen.
I’m an Empath …that sounds like my Mum. It hurts badly doesn’t it. ❤️🩹🙏
I'm currently co-housing with an adult sibling, could the following behaviors be a sign of narcissism?
1. She doesn't hug anyone, not even her own parents. With her boyfriend as exception.
2. She barely does anything in the household, besides delegating work to others (Especially to her new boyfriend).
3. Tells everyone else that she does everything in the household on her own, making us look bad.
4. When everyone cleans up the table after a family dinner, she remains seated guild free whilst others clean up for her.
5. She constantly insults other house-members, or provides nonconstructive degrading comments. Even towards her parents.
6. Having a grownup discussion about anything only results in an temper tantrum, with high pitched screaming.
7. Nag's that she's gaining weight, forces everyone in the household to cook healthy for her, then spends her evenings eating chips whilst watching TV.
8. Refuses to join our households daily exercise during the evening, claiming she doesn't have any time. Nag's about weight, continues to eat chips and watch TV.
9. Agreeing on household rules is virtually impossible without a lawyer, as she will mold those rules and abuse every loophole there's available to avoid work.
10. Delegates our mother with work/tasks, then goes on an temper tantrum and throws insults at our mom for doing set tasks badly and incorrectly.
Or is she just a lazy brat? We both got the same parenting style, I'm mostly the complete opposite and feel bad for accidentally stepping on a snail... She shows zero lack of empathy or remorse, for whatever insult she says to anyone. Our parents are luck-ally nifty enough to see through her false claims, so they don't blame me or any other people for it. However, our sisters behavior does make our parents sad...
Normally children are not diagnosed with that, because they are children and children have different stages of development. Sibling rivalry is a thing, too.
This is very important ...our recognition of them at distance avoids contact verbally, as they victimize through interpersonal communication
After being with narcissist s you never trust your judgement or any other human ever.
Mine wears his sunglasses constantly, so you can’t watch his eyes, but he will demand to see yours🤪
This in itself is a red flag. 😄
Yep! They all love them Rayban’s. I don’t think I can insert the link, but search Rayban vampire commercial. You don’t say a narc wasn’t behind that advertising back in the day! 🤣
100 percent
My ex as well
On drugs
Watching this helps me view them objectively while they are trying their old tricks on me. This way, I can stay out of range. So happy now. Freedom!!
On #8 converting/empathetic, healing & caring professions attract a lot of narcs, for obvious reasons. We have to be vigilent.
I had this experience a few years ago in my first and only experience of therapy.
Since then I just watch videos like this online.
I may try therapy again some day, but I also feel it may be over-rated or may do more harm than good if the one selected isn't knowledgeable enough, or honest enough, etc.
We can heal through learning, reading and, as mentioned, watching/listening to lectures like this, as well as simple reflection on things we can change about ourselves to stop giving ammunition to narcs in the first place. Basically it's about boundaries.
Please add Dr Ramani to your study on narcs. She is amazing. Take care. Peace🇨🇦.
Great, concise comment. Thank you. Boundaries need to be firm.
The eyes really change! I will never forget his eyes while he was choking me. That really caught my attention. Thank goodness I was saved before getting unconscious.
They go black
I hugged him once and it was like hugging a rag doll. Afterwards, he looked like he was drunk but then his demeanor changed abruptly and began yelling at me, as the one with the problem. Shortly after that, he called the police. I’ve never had such an experience before and hope to never again!
They call the police when we hug them😅classic!
@@lucylight176😂😂😂😂😂
I love the way you speak. You bring these ancient concepts to life like a dark renaissance painting in my mind.
I absolutely concur! The man I was married to prided himself in his ability to sway others with his body language: He didn’t have to open his mouth!
Thank you for your series sam. Its the only thing keeping me on this planet. The abuse is overwhelming and I'm glad I have your videos to remind me I'm not as worthless as he makes me
😢
👑🕯❣️🎁♀️
Get out! The world is not 50% made up of people like that.
Sam is abusive. He's abusing you further by allowing you to think he's something of all knowing importance. There are real doctors and counselors with actual medical degrees on here that deserve your attention. This guy is exactly what you should be afraid of. He thinks he's leaps ahead of everyone somehow. But he's just a pig like the rest of them. He has zero credentials. They are made up. I watched a very informative documentary on this embarrassment he got big mad when they didn't feed into his games.😂
@@megoncleYou should know, that you don't reach people in the way you outburst in the comment section. Just saying...
You know I could really just cry because you are completely correct. My ex-narc did something pretty low to me years ago and I knew he did it and he knew he did it. fast forward a few years he got in trouble about something and had to take a lie detector test concerning if he had did this very bad thing to anyone else and when I tell you he PASSED and I was dumbfounded so yes this is true I've seen him change his posture and all to get an emotion out of someone . He just never knew I was always watching him.
Narcissists can pass the tests that reveals who they are. All they have to do is respond to the questions based on their victims!
My 1st husband's eyes would change and at that moment I knew he'd be in my face, etc. His pupils always would get very small. Always. Very frightening.
The cold, blank, long pause stare...its blood curdling. 100% Psychopathic!! And, she was a sheriff's deputy. Can you imagine??
I have been the recipient of the narcissistic gaze. It was like the eyes of a shark. If looks could kill …..
Yes. The way my sister would stare at me. I never understood it.
These videos & comments from others are making it all clearer to me now. Thank you to Sam for enlightening us. And thank you to all who share their stories.
It helps me understand that it wasn't my fault. Sam helped me turn the corner when he said in one of his interviews. "It's not your fault. Just remember you have been trying to live with & deal with a 2 year old child."
Looking forward to moving on now. ❤❤
Amazing! Thank you for this. I am learning SO much. I don't know if my ex-wife was NPD, BPD, or....I don't know. But I know she utterly lacked empathy. She hated it when I just shut her off during the end of our marriage and now I have gone no contact. I should have done that 2.5 years ago when our divorce was done, but I have done it, a couple months ago. It is not just romantic relationships. It can be: coworkers, family members, members of society, friends.....you name it. Getting my knowledge up on this is helping me to identify it more easily. These people are tricky. You really have to listen to the CONTENT of what they are actually saying. Body language is not a great indicator, but their words will tell you a lot about what is going on and where they might be; as opposed to what they are presenting outwardly.
Absolutely, the words and conflicting gaslighting conversations makes you question yourself.
When really you should be questioning them. But they use intimidation tactics to make you fear conflict with them.
Oh that sad ”check”-gaze when expecting/looking for praise. It was charming at first, then increasingly embarassing. Anybody else know it?
My mom does it lol it’s uncomfortable to watch
They are predators staring like that saying, yum that’s my next feed lol. I remember our first dinner date and he was looking like that and it wasn’t the salmon. Lol
Oh so well! Scanning for praise…
It also happens with emojis. I find it hilarious. It's so predictable that you can just sit there and mess with them. Give them supply after insulting them. They're so desperate that they'll just continue to simp even after a subtle insult that everyone else hears except them and their suppliers.
Yep. I know it. And the pursed crooked smirk that goes along with it. It was endearing until I saw him do it repeatedly when trying to manipulate other people. His use of body language was calculated and measured and was very disarming when he wished to draw people in.
Thank you Sir. My journey of healing has been so tremdously blessed by your impartation.
Can’t say I don’t appreciate the humor. I need it. Takes the sting outta this hell hole existence. 😊
Ohhhh... thank you! I did not know they snap shot themselves too! This makes so much sense.. I could never understand how he saw he's physical appearance to be so brilliant when in reality, and measured against social norms... he's physically was nothing special. Not "ugly" .. but just not anything notable.
I really appreciate your content and the fact that you take the time to provide free education to everyone 😊
Thank you for this... I believe you're spot on... something I've noticed in my most current relationship with a narcissist... you can tell way more about him by watching his body language than from what he actually says or doesn't say... and even then, it's very tricky. My best "defense" is to go grey rock as much as possible while figuring the best way to get my real life back.
I have been studying the subject autodidactically for a very long time and have immersed myself very deeply. You are the first to verbalize the complexity of the matter in an understandable way without losing scientificity.
One thing I have been thinking about for a very long time is whether there is a narcissist 2.0? That is, due to the omnipresence of the subject, many narcissists are adapting their behavior (unconsciously or consciously). That is, they anticipate that the classic behavior will be increasingly sanctioned and, above all, will also bring little return. Perhaps it also goes so far that the narcissist 2.0 adopts a highly functional persona with which he even identifies. Isn't it likely that the narcissist software is also continually updated in many narcissists who have the capacity to do so? Might also be a good topic for a video. Greetings from Germany
Greetings. I would love to see a video on this theory as well. Great question.
The self-identified narcissists online are definitely playing a role to match expectations.
Profound thinking! Thanks for the question.
IMHO…They will frequently test the waters, or step with just one big toe over the line and watch what happens, and if they can get away with their old behavior patterns they will keep pushing it till they are back to 1.0 😁. Who they are never changes, nobody really ever changes, but they can control their behavior if it will make more problems than it is worth for them. The 2.0 you mention is just them controlling certain aspects of their personality to prevent problems they don’t want to deal with. They are still the same person, and it has nothing to do with your feelings. Remember how charming they can be to people that don’t know them very well. They know how to control themselves, and they know when to use that control.
@samvaknin you ARE a self identified narcissist. You *think* you're smart and have labeled and dx'd yourself. You are not even a doctor. You make shit up and you are not transparent about your lack of real credentials. You are exactly what this gentleman is describing.
What an embarrassment to the field 😂
My narc mother never let us touch her hair when we were kids. She also famously never wanted manicures, pedicures or professional massages. I always thought that was weird.
Well,on the personel level i have noticed that narcissistic people once they know they cannot control you,they go crazy and take appropriare measures to force you to acknowledge them by hurting you even more.That brings them a lot of relief and the sense of power over you.The lack of true empathy does not allow them to see sadism behind their actions as that's the norm for them.
I feel Mini and everything relating to borderline personality disorder is being neglected. Please Sam more borderline videos!
Iam going through all the things you have explained.26 years of torture is affecting my mental strength.lhave became weak in my life.
One thing I noticed about the Malignant Narcissist I was in an "intimate" relationship with, he never touched my face and always looked uncomfortable when I touched his. Before he had a rage and his pupils completely dilated so the whole of his eyeballs looked black (like some animal's or the Rosswell alien) 👽, I had commented that there was something different about his eyes. It struck me when he was up close. He looked very nervous when I said this. I often felt unnerved by his gaze. It felt all consuming. His eyes had a glassy flat look and the only time they had a spark was when he was smirking. Usually this was when he was lying and hoodwinking me or ridiculing some old supply and doing his unnerving joker laugh.
Damn !
Best video I have ever seen, aboustly informative ,
Thank you sir , this will get me over the finish line , less scared , my dogs and I might just make it out alive!
I read the FBI article you referenced and agree that more training is needed for to keep law enforcement from being manipulated by them. What worries me is learning the DSM-5 will include psychopathy as a mental illness in that edition. Seems to me criminal defense lawyers will have a field day with this claiming insanity for their psychopathic clients! Clearly psychopaths need to have a very good reason not to commit a crime they may be contemplating. A long prison sentence can be a healthy deterrent for these predatory people.
I was a very naive 21 yr old when I married a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies. It took nearly 20 years to finally realize there was no hope of ever changing him. He would use his wealth to manipulate people and the system. I was expected to be his arm candy who personified his wholesome family guy facade. How I’d love to have those lost years back. Thank you for educating people about narcissism. You’re saving lives.
The DSM 5 was published 11 years ago (text revision 2 years ago) and does not include psychopathy. Search the channel for "insanity".
@@samvaknin Duly noted, Thank you.
Great video! All your videos are filled with information and knowledge is power 💪🏾💯🤞🏾
This is a new idea to me, that they are dissociating when they give you that stare. It makes total sense, because they are GONE when that happens.
My dad and ex husband both would get in my face for intimidation. My dad punched holes in walls by my head. My ex was physically abusive. My dad def has that piercing stare. I think sometimes I have a piercing stare sometimes but his feels like ice. I had a friend in HS say she had a nightmare that he was in bc of that stare. Of course most of the time he could be the jovial, helpful, charming guy around town, the public persona. Both my parents have been very controlling, contemptuous and judgmental, and still are (I’m 40!) I wish I’d known about all of this when I was young.
Please stay away from them!! They've already taken up way too much of your time and energy!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
The psychopaths ability to control its own emotions is beyond anything I can understand and honestly a part of me wishes I had that kind of control.
They seem to have no pain.
Used to be obsessed with trying to understand it.
They have a brain which puts themselves first...any emotions are directed by that. So they seem emotionless to us where our interests are concerned or they put a facade of fake emotion to gather the sympathy points from others. Guess Life is a Game for them. Others are just pawns on a chess board. They need to win.
@@user-mk5ud8xs2r yes. I ve observed it and I was a pupppet once trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. It seems to attract Empaths.
Happy you are aware and know how to navigate such a thing. Discernment needed is an understatement.
I wish too but I could never be that selfish!
@@christinasportiello9542 it took me years to admit it to myself. In my case the narcissist is my mother. And everything was a fake act right from the start of her marriage (if not before!). Guess she wanted a family to be like others or better. And she made me to keep my father around for longer though she didn't love him.
The idea of it being a choice is what I have subscribed to having been close to a narcissistic Borderline sufferer for many years and having taken notes. What a combination. Yes, it is a choice that is dependent on environment, will happen someplace, won't happen others. Totally agree.
This has to be told in the school,of course late years.This people is dangerous,but in the same time need help.Thank you professor ✌️🌹I have got my narcissist 2 children from my narcissistic husband 😢and it is my fault I didn’t lived him before destroying my family 😡🥹I was in love,he was working in police criminal ☹️😳🥹applying on me and my sons all what he was learning there .Me and my sons doing well now after 25 years recovering 😡💪😇
These people are dangerous, yes, But the reason we are not educated about this topic in school, is that there are so many of these people in the political world...the world is literally run by narcissists and psychopaths. They don't want all us seeing them for what they are, or we'd never vote for any of them.
I can’t see this being taught in schools. Schools are meant to breed employees for corporations. The majority of CEOs and high rank people of corporations are unfortunately some type of narc..
You have described my brother perfectly. Thank you for helping me defend myself from this ass hole. Moving cross country to get away from him ❤ and looking forward to it!
I can look back and see now how he worked a room. Even if it was just me in the room. And then become so completely unrecognizable at a party. All I remember feeling was confused. Asking myself who is this person? And not understanding. I do now.
seen that evil look 💀, walking all mighty with hands spreaded aside, but the most horrific is the laughter that appears only when something bad happens to the others 👺
My landlords wife, used to the posch life had to downsize to the tiny suite in the basement of her 1.6 million dollar house after a 6 month trip, travel spending spree abroad after inheriting a large sum after her father’s death. She came complaining to me, her ,her husband, new baby and mother in law are moving into the tiny 2 bedroom downstairs. She’s used to her 4 bed, 3 bath total upstairs of her house. Well, envy ensued. Her mother in law doesn’t know she smokes so she overstepped her boundaries, making my front door patio area her new smoking Pitt. I told her new arrangements had to be made, she laughed and said it was only going to be just 2 or 3 days. The weekend went by.. I see her smoking on my deck over and over as we were not home. She has an entire back yard and personal entrance at the back of the house to smoke… I confronted her a second time… she laughed. I said, “ this is not a smoking Pitt, this is my home”. She stared at me blankly, smiling shyly… “I know,” she said. I repeated… “ “I know, she said” finally, she repeated, “(a week later) “it’s only going to be 2or 3 days… “I said, no!… now!!!” She stared blankly… paused. I said,”it’s making us uncomfortable. I offered her chairs, an ashtray, she said she has some! She has ignored me since till yesterday when she took “all” of my red ripe tomatoes from my garden, while munching, offered me some of “her” tomatoes. Now I have to wait for the green ones to ripen so I can get some. She’s keniving, and spiteful… jealous of our comfort…. Overstepping her boundaries because “she owns the property “. Honestly, people make me sick. The less people I know, the better.
As someone repeatedly severely traumatised and psychologically tortured since birth and having been gaslit to oblivion and stuck with ptsd I can say how absolutely destroying it is for narcissists to learn info like this and use it within their psychological attacks on their victims. And still, no one non-narcissist around you believes what they are doing.
I cannot believe the answers you are providing me.
While I thought I had an honest program I was tricking myself about my relationship. It’s those little things that seemed weird that you described
as if you knew him. Oh yes, it was all there, not good times and bad times. This is really unfamiliar territory. Thank you.
Oh wow, yes, I've seen the empty core. Terrifying. 👁️
One ends up distrusting toxic behaviour, sometimes even when the truth is told.
Once u've been abused by 1 - u learn to answer them with body language - by disengaging without saying a word - homing the message accross that they do not have control over u. It's the forerunner of no contact.
Is Instagram a magnet for narcissists? I feel more and more uneasy using that app
Search the channel for videos on social media.
Much female narcissists these days, huh?
@@ThaicatloveBoth, all these Tate guys, too.
"Aesthetic abomination" is a very funny term. I laughed out loud. All very good info. Thank you.
I've been refused help Sam....told I've got a cluster B issue...been in the system since I was 15...they did a number on me ...53years old now...tossed on a therapy scrap heap...given up on...they can't help me....all of a sudden I'm cured of my personality....but we know Sam...there is no cure for B personality....but I look at you and your doing good for others...with your personal knowledge...I'm so grateful for...I recognise myself in what you say.....it's like we are this and then we are that....and when you put it all together instead of it being fractured...it's very ugly indeed..
You’re very insightful. On the healing path . Sending love n light 💛
In Canada we have Justin, and we don't know what to do about him (her).
Most Canadians are naive. The delusions are so deep it's hard to even talk to most people.
Yes he is our narsisst dictator
😂💁♀️
My sincerest condolences.
Justin Trudeau says more about you than him. A society of sheeps is lead by wolfs.
Prof Sam, the more you roll out this postures, the more my memory picks them out in her behaviours over the years.
I learn so much from you! Thanks!
My narcissistic mother openly admitted to my enabler step father that as a child she was called “King” yes king not queen. That she would have to eat first before her parents and younger siblings. And she was so proud of it. How crazy is that?
My narcissistic family has for years illegally entered my home and/or car and rifled through my papers and belongings. The one that claims she is a mother, has stolen clothing, cleaning supplies, food, toiletries, all items I would have given or purchases for them. Its not enough to steal, they started taking discarded food and toiletries from the the trash and putting them in my freezer, refrigerator and bathroom. This could have caused disease. Same with clothing, leaving clothing that was never mine. People who don't work a REAL job have plenty of time to play mind games and commit crimes.
Change the locks on your house. Lock down the house and set boundaries. I recently had to do this with my family.
Bingo. I have seen these behaviors. Thank you Prof. for clarifying what I was seeing and experiencing in the family I married in to; wow!
I have seen those empty eyes , and it was by far the most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed .
Professor, thank you for your videos, they allowed me to get out of the maze that is a relationship with a narcissist. The sad thing is that only someone who has been in such a relationship will truly understand it. The pain you go through when it all comes together to figure out who the person you loved is indescribable. Their game is masterful, which still makes me wonder if it could be true. But subsequent videos confirm this. I once insulted him because I thought he was cheating on me again, but I apologized. But it didn't matter, I had to be punished, then he did those strange eyes and some cruel thing and used the child as a tool to show me how stupid I was. At that moment, the sirens inside me sounded the alarm and I realized who I was dealing with. I'm getting a divorce but I have no evidence to do anything, these things always happened without anyone seeing, everyone still thinks he's an angel. I have to let him see my child even though I'm so worried about him. Now I understand his fierce care for his body, I understand how in 10 years he has never missed a workout, he is a robot. He once devoted himself so intensely to the gym and work that his heart couldn't handle it, he got cardiac arrest. He was resuscitated, they saved him, I was so naive that after that I cared for him so much and prayed for his health...
Very interesting. My ex used to sit in his " Napoleon" pose, one hand in his jacket on his chest to show off his superiority, with the little smirk on his face...
Great video!🎉🎉🎉 I used to have 10 -15 friends. Now I have almost none and I am happier than I've ever been 😂 of course, I am narcissist too to some extent...
Sure, as the narcissist needs audience, withdrawing yourself is narcissistic. They don't know how stupid they sound. 😄
14:00 hyper vigilant, paranoid
14:21 pleading expectant
14:39 Dismissive
15:06 Superior boastful
16:15 Impatient scornful
16:53 Impatient entitled
17:52 membership gravitas
18:28 converting empathic (covert)
19:27 observer detached
I love your videos. Thank you so much for all the good information.❤
Wow Thanks you described my female coworker friend of 18 months. The last 4 weeks I have been trying to get away from her . I found out way too much about her and she is lost in her mind . I am relocating away . I had to break off this work friend because she clung to me and when I had taken on new work responsibilities to boss her she was not right very upset doing safety issues .
Thank you so much for the cerebral narcissist information. This is one piece of the puzzle I was missing. Hit the nail on the head.
I was caretaker to narc for twn years.also he was schizophrenic. It was horrible. I had chance at 3 beautiful relationships in that time but they didn't happen because i was so messed up because of narc. One of the many games he played was putting his hands in my space when in restaurant or car.i started butting stuff on front seat so he had to sit in the back. He was so nasty. Thank God thats over. Truly thank God.
It’s so true they invade ur space impose their rules by force with physical strength and yes they love to force themselves on u
There’s a healing effect when hearing these.
Thank you for another informative video - bringing light to a dark subject.
Such an interesting discussion of narcissism!
He stares at women / girls at bars in fast food lines when he’s ordering . He thinks it’s sexy and he
Waits until they look away or look back at him and smile. Women would smile back at him when he was younger , now he’s an old man it’s creepy when he does it but HE thinks he is still attractive and he feels it will still work and get the attention of girls and women ,like he did 20 yrs ago.
So true!
Are you indirectly saying majority of women are what you are describing?
Because women still think they still have the body to get what they want by a "simple shy gaze" or that they still got it even when they are over 50.
The "simply shy gaze" is a trap move narcissists after hearing of it easily master. I hope you know that?
When i was a child. Mommy never hugged or kissed me, and she pushed me away so i couldn't touch her. When i was abused by a teacher, i had no one to tell because Saint Mommy pushed me away and told me to go out and play, so i wandered the town for hours everyday.
I am truly sorry for your pain. Was your mother perhaps a victim of abuse as well?
I have known a number of covert narcissist parents who had been victims of severe verbal & physical abuse as children, including even sexual abuse, & because they had to go through it, they feel others need to just suck it up & deal with it, keep it secret, not whine about it. And rather than protect the victims, & punish the abusers, they worry more about themselves, about appearances, about their own comfort & security & allow the continuation of abuse while pretending not to see the signs. Besides, they don't want to be bothered with other people's problems because it takes all the time & attention away from the person that they really want to talk about--themself.
I notice that these parents also choose a golden child, a black sheep & the rest are basically invisible--only the golden child received any affection, praise, cuddles, & they were always 'supposedly' like the parent, meaning if they were attractive, then they inherited it from that parent, if they are intelligent, talented, skilled at anything, or socially popular, then it was because they were just like that parent. The golden child could do no wrong, & every wrong is somehow turned into some amusing story, where as the black sheep can do no good, & every good act is turned into a bad act, it is even exaggerated & made far worse than what actually happened, & they are severely humiliated & punished for it. Furthermore, when the golden child either makes or buys a cheap gift for this parent, it is considered the most perfect & thoughtful gift, they knew them so well, however the black sheep can buy an expensive gift & it's viewed with open contempt & tossed aside even when others bring attention to the generosity of this expensive gift, & the gifts from the invisible children just don't matter at all, they are set aside without comment or may recieve fake gratitude.
Oddly, it's often the black sheep that the parent turns to for help or whines or gripes to about the unfairness of life not giving them all they should be entitled to, they are also the verbal punching bag, the one who is talked down to & criticized, & the one who comes to their rescue despite all their abuse, because the golden child & invisible child make themselves unavailable or simply won't listen to all the negativity & game playing. The Black Sheep is caught up in a love & hate relationship, they dislike their parent intensely, but may feel sorry for them, or maybe, they are still trying to win them over & please them, which is impossible to do. They are never truly satisfied with anything that anyone does for them, they are never happy & they'll even fake illnesses or over-exaggerate them in order to get attention from those around them, & tend to play the victim, claiming that those that they abused, were their abusers.
I have a friend who after decades of abuse, is still catering to her father, who uses & takes advantage of her at every opportunity, & yet, still she is the black sheep & her sibling, who doesn't even visit him, is still his favorite. I am the Black Sheep who dislikes, but feels sorry for my old, covert, manipulative, hypochondriac, hoarding mother who has driven everyone away with her negativity. I feel sorry for my friends who were only children, because they tend to be both the golden child & the black sheep. Are you perhaps the chosen Black Sheep of your family as well?
@@imgoldenspyder9409 I guess I am the Black Sheep of my family that no one loved, who was sort of put down when young when I got good grades in school, like they wanted me to be "less than" they were. An only child they tried to abort with pills, then my mother who did not seem to want children threw away the rest of the pills as she "was healthy and not too old. " She often called me The Child often, and started hitting me when I was a baby, and after my father told her to stop she did it when he was away when I was small by sitting on me and grabbing my hand to use it to hit me in my own face. So on and so forth. I've often wondered how she was treated as a child tho she made her mother out to be a saint and said her drunken father chased them around the house outside with a gun. ...a relative older than me said that Mom's mother was actually a cold bitch, so there at least had to be a lack of love for mom who wss the girl. Thank you for taking time to reply to me! Best wishes!
@@imgoldenspyder9409 @imgoldenspyder9409 I guess I am the Black Sheep of my family that no one loved, who was sort of put down when young when I got good grades in school, like they wanted me to be "less than" they were. An only child they tried to abort with pills, then my mother who did not seem to want children threw away the rest of the pills as she "was healthy and not too old. " She often called me The Child often, and started hitting me when I was a baby, and after my father told her to stop she did it when he was away when I was small by sitting on me and grabbing my hand to use it to hit me in my own face. So on and so forth. I've often wondered how she was treated as a child tho she made her mother out to be a saint and said her drunken father chased them around the house outside with a gun. ...a relative older than me said that Mom's mother was actually a cold bitch, so there at least had to be a lack of love for mom who wss the girl. Thank you for taking time to reply to me! Best wishes!
I'm so sorry. 😢
did you really expect a reply
You nailed it, and validated through your description of a covert narcissisti, a horrible experience I had.
I'm seeing a troubling pattern of people labeling anyone who they have had relationship trouble with as narcissists or sociopathic/psychopathic. I suspect there is a large amount of confirmation bias and scapegoating going on.
Heard. Noticed, too…
However, we are in a spiritual battle, many believe and so do I after my personal battle, and so they are on the rise.
I’ve noticed that too.The good thing about people learning about these disorders is they might be able to discern those who may actually have a true,full blown disorder and avoid it.
People can have traits but not have a personality disorder.
When faced with those who DO? In time,you usually recognize it bc there are behaviors those without a PD wouldn’t do bc these have a line in the sand they won’t cross.
PD’s cross the line and then some…..
My ex-husband was very affectionate and charming at the beginning. Later, he stopped showing me any affection and when I confronted him about it, he told mw in my face "I'm not capable to show any affection and if I did I would be pretending. Would you like me to pretend?" I was absolutely mind blown by him. When we had those discussions and I would ask him about him not being affectionate and intimate with me he would say "you also don't give me any blowj*obs anymore 🥵 these things were for him on the same level.
You are so wise what a blessing I enjoy listening thank you!
You see & boy isit scary 🫣you can not Unsee it 💯🙌🏽
We will need a separate video on ALL the various types of narcissists out there, you keep mentioning new type every day
Sometimes a psychopath will tell you the truth...but make it seem like a lie. And if you dont believe them...they love it because it means they can play with your mind now. They now can do anything and know how to read your reaction. They are crazy strategic.
For example...if they go to the gym and you dont believe them....they could play around with that and go or not go to the gym and see if they could get you to believe them. If you DONT believe them that's perfect because they know you are wrong and they won't even try to make you believe them sometimes. They rather see your mind be unsure of itself. So if you don't believe them....it is your fault for reading it wrong even though they make it purposely difficult to tell the truth.
Does this make sense? It's almost like they get joy in misdirecting people. Like the only way they feel in control is by making everyone else lose control.
It is a variant of gaslighting.
@@samvaknin Ive heard that term but never really understood how they use it. It's very clever and sneaky. Gotta make sure your head is on straight when dealing with them. Thank you for spreading awareness. This is so important to know. This way everyone can understand the games they play. Thank you thank you!
So spot on ❤ - unhappy that I know what you are talking about.
when I left home I was 32. When/if I see my wife looking at me, my heartbeat increases rapidly and I feel scared and confused. I taught myself to ask her “did I do something wrong or are you angry or why she is staring at me”. She replies every time that she wasn’t thinking anything and that she just simply looked at me. mind you I’m 40 now and every time when she looks at me I get scared as if I did something wrong. That’s what my mother did to both my sister and i. Now I have to witness my wife go through the same thing with her sister. wish narcissism carried a jail sentence.
Highly informative and Thank You Sam fascinating! Love listening and learning from you videos. TYK🙏❤️