Not really just don't be a smart ass to people you don't know and nothing will happen to you, we don't want trouble with anyone but we wont run from it if we feel you come at us. My mantra is leave me alone and ill leave you alone, don't leave me alone and ill make you regret it or make it so you cant bother me ever again
@@jeskahaley9616 i grew up in foster care since 5-6 years old and was made a ward of the state a 7 my mother was a alco and my dad was a violent career criminal i legit fit every criteria besides hurting animal(I prefer animals over people) not everyone on the internet is lying
@@Kektamusprime Imagine being so pathetic that you feel the need to post unsolicited comments on RUclips telling people how super duper dangerous you are and how nobody better mess with you or else! 🤣🤣🤣 Like come on dude... do you seriously think actual psychopaths go around doing stuff like that? This is just embarrassing. You're a suburbanite shut-in who's so desperately insecure that you literally have to lie yourself about being a psychopath just to make yourself feel a tiny bit better about being an absolute nobody with an uneventful life.
This is a phenomenal video. For me it is not just a textbook description ( don’t even know if there is a book that could do this great of a job as Profesor V. ) but it cements what I already lived with a covert psychopath whom I lived with for 18 years ! For the first 8 years his laziness , parasitic behavior , Superman to other people, altruistic behavior, drove me crazy bc I was trying to figure out what the hell I was dealing with . I deemed him so intelligent- often joke about him having swallowed a dictionary . He knew soooooo much about any subject and his memory was sharp sick !!! I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t get a job. It turned out he preferred to steal / scam people rather than work . Once I figured him out , I couldn’t get rid of him that easily. He had a goal - to USE me for what I could provide; a house to live in , car, tv and everything paid on me. Even though I had no relationship with him for the last ten years he stayed living in my living room and bullied me mentally, emotionally , psychologically, by threatening me with my own personal fears. Things such as he will call the police on me and take me to court if I threw him out or change the lack. It was horrible to feel like I was living with an enemy and I couldn’t escape him.
@@Faberte I never “got away”from him. It was more the other way. He left when I no longer served the purpose of his goal ( to live of me ) and saw that someone else could provide him with sheltering. Parasitic psychopaths have goals too. They are like predators in the jungle searching for a prey that they can suck dry. They will grab you by the neck and won’t let you go until they have accomplished what they want whether that’s to take your money, put you in a position of debt, steal your jewelry, etc, etc. Conclusion, they’ll leave you when they want to ( unless you can make your move quietly, swiftly and with determination, which usually doesn’t happen bc it takes time for the victim to figure out what the hell is happening. In turn the predator has studied you and it’s clear about your fears and your psychological weaknesses which he will use against you. They leave when they are ready- that means when they have secured their next supplier. They are cold and calculated. They are not short tempered as the classic narc. Glad he left, yet looking back I can see how he was using my own fears against me. They are super smart ( at least at catching and securing their victims.)
Phenomenal! This tracks incredibly well, Sam, Thank you. You are by far the unchallenged intellect in your fields of expertise, indispensable, a most reliable compass. Always a pleasure to watch & learn, thanks again.
Hello Sam. Do you think it would be beneficial for society to make courses related to personality disorders mandatory in high schools and universities? Most people have no knowledge of these topics. Therefore, could such a measure be helpful in protecting themselves from these individuals? What do you think?
So people can weaponized those labels even more? Throwing at each other those terms? (especially teenagers who are so dvmb and even think it’s cool to be a psychopath?). I believe focusing on predatory behavior is wiser than personality disorders. Bc no everybody who has a PD is a predator.
@@RivkacainThere is a huge army if armchair psychologists dominating cyberspace. I get close to a headache when my thoughts are interrupted with their ignorance. Education is definitely needed!
I learned from Sam that psychology is theory and not a science. Sam's extensive work in this field has produced an understanding that is not full of holes like all of the others out there. This information would relieve tons of anxiety and avert disastrous, unnecessary abuse. It would cause malignant types also to check their behavior more, to regulate themselves. However this world is driven by a narcissistic force that is naturally compelled to block this information from reaching people. That's why it's so convenient that psychology is not a science but a theory. It allows the education system and the whole world frankly to dismiss it as 'well that's only your take on human behavior'.
The problem would be people falsely labeling others and then that having potential negative impact on peoples lives, unjustly, as a result. It's dangerous for people to think they know too much about these pseudo scientific disorders.
The best input from this channel is the idea that people don't change. If we don't change, we can at least find a place where we are normal or feel useful. I have a few friends who are quite psychopathic and tend to act protectively like guard dogs. They either have one of the following two traits: they are either loners activated only in case of a threat, or they are hierarchical, acting as agents of organization. Does anyone else suspect that these individuals might be more "normal" than regular people if they are integrated into a group that considers them useful? Those friends admit that they have difficulties with sentimentality and get frustrated when people around them don't use pragmatic solutions in various situations.
I agree that most people don't change. If they do, it happens naturally and it can take time. For example, someone who was more extravert becomes introvert because they have changed their environment, etc. If they have deep traumas, it seems more challenge to change because their baseline is in distortion. Then they can take anything healthy and loving as threats rather than positive. If you try to bring those qualities to people who feels love as threats to make them weaker, they viciously attack you (inside and outside). They seem to hate love. I can see that it is because they are too used to distractions and chaos. They have no other realities.
Describes a person I knew completely perfectly, If I didn't know any better I would think this is a documentary about his life. The only reason I knew so much about him is because he confessed all of his patterns of action after od'ing and he died soon after. I said it already but this video is unsettlingly accurate.
Right after you were talking about how covert psychopaths would make „wonderful“ gurus an ad for some kind of guru was played. Hilarious. Und ich habe mich über Ihr Deutsch gefreut - „Ersatz“ und „echt“ 😊
mom was a covert narc and my dad was a overt narc,growing up your a orphan in a insane asylum with a loaded gun at your head,you never knew what was gonna happen.
yeah, those people can be extremely dangerous and toxic for real. They can affect more than you think, it is not only psychological effect but physical. It is because we are affected by our own thoughts and just by thinking such toxic people and behaviors, you can poison yourself in a way. So I would say, clear your thoughts so that your thoughts have no effect from those people (or demon),
For a long time I believed there was something wrong with me. Initially, I believed I was on the trail of Borderline, but after hearing what you said, Professor, I can't say - out of all the hours I've ever spent listening to you - that I've ever resonated so much with a set of characteristics than this. The way you distinguish between the Covert Borderline and the Covert Psychopath, at their most pivotal junctions, has been the missing piece I've been searching for. Many times during this lecture I successfully predicted your next words, which would bring back a flood of memories of inside (literally) jokes where I repeated your same statements. I'm unsure as to how you became so well versed, or should I say, how my apparent "condition" could be so accurately recorded and documented and studied, but it does give me some hope.
Facade sounds like «fasad» («فساد») in Arabic which essentially means: moral corruption, depravity. So indeed, a covert psychopath is a walking fasad/facade. @@synchronis346
That's a great use of the word, but it is a word we took from French; as such, it is one of the stupid spelling English words: facade, or if you want to be proper façade. The thing hanging off of the c is how French indicates it should be pronounced as an s.
Well, as an engineer, I didn't know what hit me with the covert psychopath that hit my life, parading to be a surgeon. I immediately called my niece in college, who is studying sociology, and said to take as many psychology classes in college as you can, focusing on Cluster B!
yes! thats my brother! for that i am afraid of him! he has this long term planning and never stops thinking about strategies to earn something. but it helps to understand! thank you!
Thanks professor Sam😊 This fits my ex husband. Could you do a video on how to divorce them especially when children are involved Please. Thanks again 👍🏾
You just described me word for word with a couple of exceptions, I don't care about aging or death I think its pathetic how people constantly try to look younger, we are all going to die so deal with it. Also when I do actually work I consider myself a good worker in physical jobs that is like construction for example, but I never actually want to be at any job and if there is nothing to do ill just tell the boss im going where other people will stick around to milk a few more hours of pay or whatever. I also don't really care about belongings but that's probably due to my childhood in foster care(ward of the state at age 7) not owning anything, I'm not a sentimental person. The autism thing is something I've never heard anyone say before but I have said it to myself my two things ive deep dived and committed to are languages and poker. Everything else is spot on. I have zero desire to interact with or be part of the community, doesn't appeal to me in anyway shape or form and the analysis of not being a team player is spot on haha I struggled with it during my time in the military. I would consider myself an extreme Machiavellianism type due to my criminal father purposely shaping me so before I was put in foster care.
Dr Vaknin, I watched countless of your lectures, unfortunately haven't come across an answer to what may look/feel like psychopathy to the bystander but with complete lack of antisocial behaviour and no expression of physical or verbal aggression. Wondering if the dismissive avoidant fit that description and if so would you do a lecture on that, please?
Not in an attempt to diagnose anyone but just from an observatory, referential perspective this very much describes my former partner, except he had a definite drive for narcissistic supply from his family and daughter in particular- enmeshed/emotionally incestuous relationships. One of the most disturbing things he’d done that he shared openly with me- this should have made me run immediately but I was so intoxicated by the shared fantasy that I ignored my internal dissonance- was how he’d treated animals, and in the manner you describe, he conveniently adjusted his moral framework to jettison any discrepancies so he maintained his persona of being an upright, righteous, “good” person. One such story was how (this is extremely disturbing), he had been given a dog by a family member to care for, because they were moving and the dog was elderly and not well and according to my ex boyfriend didn’t have good quality of life- and he didn’t want to pay to put the dog down so he took it into the woods and dug a grave for it and shot the dog. God it makes me sick to retell this story. The other one that made my stomach turn was how at a Native American spiritual ceremony (he is a white guy from Missouri but involved himself with native people for various quizzical purposes), they had a tradition of making puppy stew which was based on a legend from their ancestors. They told him he had to help choke these puppies and he said he did because it was their tradition and he was participating and so in his mind this made his actions somehow ok. He made sure to communicate that he didn’t like doing either of these things but he lacked an obvious remorse or shame in having done them and I have always wondered if animal cruelty, which I think this is, is a strong indication of psychopathy of any form?
@@jbuntine1255 lol, there is definitely a gap between an arsehole and a psychopath, but I get what you mean- I think animal cruelty can absolutely be indicative of some type of cognitive or emotional deficit even though definitions of what constitutes abuse are culturally bound- some cultures eat horses and dogs where, in the west, that’s anathema. But still, within the context of him being in this particular culture, I believe his actions were wrong and unnecessary- what disturbed me was how he lacked shame or dissonance. But he knew it wasn’t “right.” Most people would react with abject horror if you said you put a dog down in the manner he did when he could have afforded to have it euthanised humanely. I should have listened to my deep gut feeling when he told me those stories and saved myself years of abuse.
@@PracticalPeptides your writing is great. I also married a covert Psychopath Narc it's all you feel familiar with , have walked away at a huge cost, but it comes down to your sanity by the end. My X didn't actually calculate l have self worth . What country are you in ..regards from ozz
@@jbuntine1255I had to completely rebuild my self worth from the ground up and shine a light in every dark place in me I didn’t know existed, so I would become impervious to that kind of abuse- I almost didn’t survive the first time and another relationship like that, I would have been lost completely. Few people understand what a NA relationship does to your insides, to your perception of the world and the people in it- I’m sorry you had to endure such a horrible experience. I am grateful for having gone through it because it was a chance to become so grounded and honest with myself, and I will continue to work to evolve my consciousness and be loving and caring despite my past. I’m in the US, in beautiful Colorado. I guess my writing skills are a reflection of my otherwise useless degree in philosophy 😂😂 thanks for the kind words!
@@samvaknin if you see this as well, I’ve woken up to food in my bed when I know I never had it before or got up out of bed during the night. What would you consider this a sign of? It’s happened more than once
Professor... can you please do a (some) target emergency plan advisory video (content) asap PLEASE. I believe im in a spot of bother. Well ive likely been in a unsavoury position for longer than I've cared to admit, for lack of better descriptive... my gut says its getting dire.. ive left 18 yr relationship (14 yrs marriage) sooooo much i cant go into.. im the pinball in pinball wizard. Youve saved lifes... im certain of this. Many thanks 🌷
The easiest thing to blame the abuser...i never blamed my narcissist parent..i knew i was not triggering this toxic behaviour...i am abused ...should i become toxic to others?no i wouldn't...of course i don't compare myself with my parent who admitted his problem by projecting it to me of course...so i am better than he was ..i dont blame anyone for my struggles to solve my problems..i keep walking
My wordsmith, my contemptuous, moral high ground, paranoid song writer, language learner. Not autistic but had a self described “addictive personality”, who had short bursts of flamboyance but mainly wanted to hide away from social activities. The most intelligent & entitled, the malaligned; he was contemptuous they could not see how special he was. And he kept telling me “I am lazy, I am a lazy person” but I didn’t know what this meant. I sign off, I am one of the many unicorns (there are many more out there than you realise).
It's too bad, because you are not bad and you don't need to blame yourself. This type of mindset is favorite of Narcs so you can easily become their pray as I was.
Do you believe BPD can transform to covert psychopathy? Apparently there are lectures that overt psychopathy is inherited or aquired during trauma, damage to the part of brain responsible for empathy. Is that the case with covert one? Or does covert can acquire the possibility through life?
This seems to perfectly summarize someone I’m close to couldnt put my finger on it until I heard this but intuitively kept ruminating on psychopath- now it makes sense gosh it’s sad
Professor Vaknin, thank you very much for finding the missing piece of this exacerbating puzzle (my brain also thanks you). I have a fairly extensive background in the mental health field and I can honestly say I have never heard of a “Covert Psychopath”. I appreciate you sharing your knowledge and insight on topics that we are seeing play out in our current society.
Wow. So would you say that a hypochondriac person who is blackmailing with suicide is not really suicidal? He is taking his health more seriously than his next meal. Could it all be just a blackmail then?
Did you almost have it, or did you actually have it? Because I got told I was on the path a long time ago and got terrified of being that way. So I fixed it before I became an adult. Now I'm 30 and realize how lucky I was, because once you are a narcissist it doesn't go away easily, but for me it did; which also makes me think I may have just been severe BPD. I guess I'm curious on how you would know you had it? What makes you so sure? Only if you want to share.
@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver I’m almost 50, looking back and n my life now it’s quite obvious to me that I’m different from other ppl, too many fights, I’ve been fired from every job I have, I’ve been single my entire life because I’m scared of my emotions when I’m in love etc etc
@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver NPD is not something you can ''fix'' during your teenage years. It is a result of severe trauma between the age of 0-3. It is normal to be very narcissistic before age 21-25. It goes away for multiple reasons, part of growing up. You actually just figured that your behavior was shitty and did something to change it. In short you never had NPD.
Hello, Professor Vaknin, I am very interested in your insights regarding the profile of the covert psychopath. Could you please share how you developed this profile? Additionally, are there any sources, studies, or literature beyond your videos where I can learn more about this concept? I would appreciate any recommendations you have for deepening my understanding of this topic. Thank you for your time and valuable contributions to this field
Thank you Prof. Vaknin so much good information. Can a covert psychopath be also partly covert borderline? What happens when a covert psychopath and a factor one psychopath enter a relationship? Would it be the same dynamics as a covert psychopath and a malignant narcissist? And what about a covert psychopath and another covert psychopath? Thank you very much. I really appreciate all the information you have been giving us on all these wonderful videos.
This sounds most like me. I have always emerged unscathed even from very tense and violent situations. I have been told before that people can sense that I will go further than anyone who messes with me - which is true, if someone harms me I will not hesitate to harm or kill them, or inflict worse psychological punishment on me than they cause. So they stay away from me - even though objectively I am not a hard man (though I look physically fit).
@@theresefleming2054 you have trump derangement syndrome, if you werent so brainwashed by the media you would realize biden is way worse, a career politician
Can a covert psychopath become a workaholic small business owner, in the context of having built up the company by himself. Never been to school, but it all being self assigned? Since you say that they are either slackers or that they get to states where they obsess and self study. But are they able to maintain this drive for decades if it works out for them and it get them the status and money they want?
Could you please cover more the topic of romanticizing/faking of mental illness among millennials and gen Z? I've noticed that it has become a source of "attraction" among young people to fake mental illness in order to attract dates/friends and etc, "Hey everyone I'm autistic nice to meet you" type of behavior has become very common especially in social media. It's cringe and sad because it obscures and undermines people with real mental illness who would usually avoid declaring themselves "mentally ill" and instead try to hide their issues.
I believe Sam has covered this, he's said it's become a status symbol. It doesn't make everyone who does it a narcissist, but it certainly correlates to narcissism and the need for attention, acceptance, admiration etc.
This might explain alot of these true crime videos especially those may involve spouses that someone can be married to someone for 20 30 40 50 years then suddenly they snap leaving the other spouse usually its the wife to be frank on the receiving end of aggression and/or dead. And the family always say "We never thought him to be that way, I never thought..." 😬
@@samvaknin Thankyou for answering. I have one more question. Would a covert malignant narcissist also have all these things you mentioned in this video?
WATCH NEW Psychopath: Ashamed, Empathic, Anxious ruclips.net/video/IbxQOyzcZDs/видео.html
The portrait of a covert psychopath you’ve described is so accurate it’s horrifying, but very, very helpful. Thank you, Professor.
Not really just don't be a smart ass to people you don't know and nothing will happen to you, we don't want trouble with anyone but we wont run from it if we feel you come at us. My mantra is leave me alone and ill leave you alone, don't leave me alone and ill make you regret it or make it so you cant bother me ever again
@@Kektamusprimeyou’re prob not a psychopath
@@jeskahaley9616 i grew up in foster care since 5-6 years old and was made a ward of the state a 7 my mother was a alco and my dad was a violent career criminal i legit fit every criteria besides hurting animal(I prefer animals over people) not everyone on the internet is lying
@@Kektamusprime Imagine being so pathetic that you feel the need to post unsolicited comments on RUclips telling people how super duper dangerous you are and how nobody better mess with you or else! 🤣🤣🤣 Like come on dude... do you seriously think actual psychopaths go around doing stuff like that? This is just embarrassing. You're a suburbanite shut-in who's so desperately insecure that you literally have to lie yourself about being a psychopath just to make yourself feel a tiny bit better about being an absolute nobody with an uneventful life.
😮
Thank you for all your videos. They're saving my life.🎉❤
Please more on how covert psychopaths treat their intimate partners!
I highly recommend the book “Woman that love psychopath” from Sandra Brown
more videos please on malignant narcissist/ psycopaths. love this :)
Watch the malignant narcissist playlist.
This is a phenomenal video. For me it is not just a textbook description ( don’t even know if there is a book that could do this great of a job as Profesor V. ) but it cements what I already lived with a covert psychopath whom I lived with for 18 years ! For the first 8 years his laziness , parasitic behavior , Superman to other people, altruistic behavior, drove me crazy bc I was trying to figure out what the hell I was dealing with . I deemed him so intelligent- often joke about him having swallowed a dictionary . He knew soooooo much about any subject and his memory was sharp sick !!! I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t get a job. It turned out he preferred to steal / scam people rather than work . Once I figured him out , I couldn’t get rid of him that easily. He had a goal - to USE me for what I could provide; a house to live in , car, tv and everything paid on me. Even though I had no relationship with him for the last ten years he stayed living in my living room and bullied me mentally, emotionally , psychologically, by threatening me with my own personal fears. Things such as he will call the police on me and take me to court if I threw him out or change the lack. It was horrible to feel like I was living with an enemy and I couldn’t escape him.
Dear God. I'm glad it finally came to an end and I pray that you're enjoying life now💖🌱💖
Highly parasitic
How'd you finally get away from him?
@@Faberte I never “got away”from him. It was more the other way. He left when I no longer served the purpose of his goal ( to live of me ) and saw that someone else could provide him with sheltering.
Parasitic psychopaths have goals too. They are like predators in the jungle searching for a prey that they can suck dry. They will grab you by the neck and won’t let you go until they have accomplished what they want whether that’s to take your money, put you in a position of debt, steal your jewelry, etc, etc.
Conclusion, they’ll leave you when they want to ( unless you can make your move quietly, swiftly and with determination, which usually doesn’t happen bc it takes time for the victim to figure out what the hell is happening. In turn the predator has studied you and it’s clear about your fears and your psychological weaknesses which he will use against you.
They leave when they are ready- that means when they have secured their next supplier. They are cold and calculated.
They are not short tempered as the classic narc.
Glad he left, yet looking back I can see how he was using my own fears against me. They are super smart ( at least at catching and securing their victims.)
Bartleby be like
I read your book, you are a very smart person, amazing writing and amazing vocabulary
Phenomenal! This tracks incredibly well, Sam, Thank you. You are by far the unchallenged intellect in your fields of expertise, indispensable, a most reliable compass. Always a pleasure to watch & learn, thanks again.
I've been trying to understand my ex fiancé but nothing really totally fit until THIS! Thank you.
Don't diagnose, your diagnosis of him is skewed by emotions
@@NegativeKaball If they know THEY KNOW!!!!
@@rebeccagutierrez8170 that's very scientific of you
@rebeccagutierrez8170 no?
Hello Sam. Do you think it would be beneficial for society to make courses related to personality disorders mandatory in high schools and universities? Most people have no knowledge of these topics. Therefore, could such a measure be helpful in protecting themselves from these individuals? What do you think?
Yes.
So people can weaponized those labels even more? Throwing at each other those terms? (especially teenagers who are so dvmb and even think it’s cool to be a psychopath?). I believe focusing on predatory behavior is wiser than personality disorders. Bc no everybody who has a PD is a predator.
@@RivkacainThere is a huge army if armchair psychologists dominating cyberspace. I get close to a headache when my thoughts are interrupted with their ignorance. Education is definitely needed!
I learned from Sam that psychology is theory and not a science. Sam's extensive work in this field has produced an understanding that is not full of holes like all of the others out there. This information would relieve tons of anxiety and avert disastrous, unnecessary abuse. It would cause malignant types also to check their behavior more, to regulate themselves. However this world is driven by a narcissistic force that is naturally compelled to block this information from reaching people. That's why it's so convenient that psychology is not a science but a theory. It allows the education system and the whole world frankly to dismiss it as 'well that's only your take on human behavior'.
The problem would be people falsely labeling others and then that having potential negative impact on peoples lives, unjustly, as a result. It's dangerous for people to think they know too much about these pseudo scientific disorders.
The best input from this channel is the idea that people don't change. If we don't change, we can at least find a place where we are normal or feel useful. I have a few friends who are quite psychopathic and tend to act protectively like guard dogs. They either have one of the following two traits: they are either loners activated only in case of a threat, or they are hierarchical, acting as agents of organization. Does anyone else suspect that these individuals might be more "normal" than regular people if they are integrated into a group that considers them useful?
Those friends admit that they have difficulties with sentimentality and get frustrated when people around them don't use pragmatic solutions in various situations.
I agree that most people don't change. If they do, it happens naturally and it can take time. For example, someone who was more extravert becomes introvert because they have changed their environment, etc. If they have deep traumas, it seems more challenge to change because their baseline is in distortion. Then they can take anything healthy and loving as threats rather than positive. If you try to bring those qualities to people who feels love as threats to make them weaker, they viciously attack you (inside and outside). They seem to hate love. I can see that it is because they are too used to distractions and chaos. They have no other realities.
It is no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.
-Someone smarter than me.
OMGOODNESS 🙀
You really hit the nail on the head here ... Well Done, you are a pioneer in this field 👌🖤🙏
Describes a person I knew completely perfectly, If I didn't know any better I would think this is a documentary about his life. The only reason I knew so much about him is because he confessed all of his patterns of action after od'ing and he died soon after. I said it already but this video is unsettlingly accurate.
Thank you Prof. Vaknin for the amazing insights you give us.
Right after you were talking about how covert psychopaths would make „wonderful“ gurus an ad for some kind of guru was played. Hilarious.
Und ich habe mich über Ihr Deutsch gefreut - „Ersatz“ und „echt“ 😊
My step-father is just like this. It's chilling.
My mother has NPD and he 'fed' her needs.
Awful behaviour and that's all I grew up with.
mom was a covert narc and my dad was a overt narc,growing up your a orphan in a insane asylum with a loaded gun at your head,you never knew what was gonna happen.
With all the neglect , you raised yourself.
I did. It was dreadful.
yeah, those people can be extremely dangerous and toxic for real. They can affect more than you think, it is not only psychological effect but physical. It is because we are affected by our own thoughts and just by thinking such toxic people and behaviors, you can poison yourself in a way. So I would say, clear your thoughts so that your thoughts have no effect from those people (or demon),
I am a nun and you are perfectly describing someone I know
For a long time I believed there was something wrong with me. Initially, I believed I was on the trail of Borderline, but after hearing what you said, Professor, I can't say - out of all the hours I've ever spent listening to you - that I've ever resonated so much with a set of characteristics than this. The way you distinguish between the Covert Borderline and the Covert Psychopath, at their most pivotal junctions, has been the missing piece I've been searching for. Many times during this lecture I successfully predicted your next words, which would bring back a flood of memories of inside (literally) jokes where I repeated your same statements. I'm unsure as to how you became so well versed, or should I say, how my apparent "condition" could be so accurately recorded and documented and studied, but it does give me some hope.
You never miss. Absolutely brilliant and extremely helpful. Thank you
Agreed
Thank you for the fascinating content and I always enjoy your wicked sense of humor.
" A walking , talking , living fasad " .
👆 .
Facade sounds like «fasad» («فساد») in Arabic which essentially means: moral corruption, depravity.
So indeed, a covert psychopath is a walking fasad/facade. @@synchronis346
That's a great use of the word, but it is a word we took from French; as such, it is one of the stupid spelling English words: facade, or if you want to be proper façade. The thing hanging off of the c is how French indicates it should be pronounced as an s.
"facade"
facade, also 49:32 lmao
Very interesting, thanks Sam. Looking forward to more on this topic.
This was incredible. Great video Sam!
Ohhhh, love the topic, instant like and watch 🎉🎉🍸🍿
This description fits me almost perfectly.
Wonderful lesson, thanks Doc, also, we love to hear your laugh ☺️
Thank you for videos, Sam!
Well, as an engineer, I didn't know what hit me with the covert psychopath that hit my life, parading to be a surgeon. I immediately called my niece in college, who is studying sociology, and said to take as many psychology classes in college as you can, focusing on Cluster B!
This is so good and helpful to me in understanding some traumatic experiences. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
yes! thats my brother! for that i am afraid of him! he has this long term planning and never stops thinking about strategies to earn something.
but it helps to understand! thank you!
More of this please! There are so few videos on covert psychopathy.
None. I am the first to suggest the diagnosis.
Can you have BPD and covert psychopathy?
Yes.
Thanks professor Sam😊 This fits my ex husband. Could you do a video on how to divorce them especially when children are involved Please. Thanks again 👍🏾
I learned soooo much from you. Thank you for your service and help ❤
The laugh in the beginning🤣
Ah, M'Droogs, I recognize the eyes & smile, of that face on the "thumbnail"! 🤗
first time hearing about alloplastic and autoplastic defense mechanisms. thanks
I dated this dude...for way too long. It was just like a cult. Also, when police got called, I was the one who got in trouble. 😬
Yep they protect the psychos
Extremely informative and so helpful- thanks
So helpfull! Thank you, Mr. Vaknin.
I think of Dexter. The textbook covert psychopath
I gave my soul to dark dispare, to myself became an enemy.
Brilliant
I used to know one. Fits everything you said!! Seemed normal very flat affect but he finally tried to kill me.
Glad you made it out alive, stay safe
I recognize so much of my personality. What should I do to improve? Is there some guidance or video of you Mr Sam?
You just described me word for word with a couple of exceptions, I don't care about aging or death I think its pathetic how people constantly try to look younger, we are all going to die so deal with it. Also when I do actually work I consider myself a good worker in physical jobs that is like construction for example, but I never actually want to be at any job and if there is nothing to do ill just tell the boss im going where other people will stick around to milk a few more hours of pay or whatever. I also don't really care about belongings but that's probably due to my childhood in foster care(ward of the state at age 7) not owning anything, I'm not a sentimental person. The autism thing is something I've never heard anyone say before but I have said it to myself my two things ive deep dived and committed to are languages and poker. Everything else is spot on. I have zero desire to interact with or be part of the community, doesn't appeal to me in anyway shape or form and the analysis of not being a team player is spot on haha I struggled with it during my time in the military. I would consider myself an extreme Machiavellianism type due to my criminal father purposely shaping me so before I was put in foster care.
Not the KEKWait pfp 🤣 love it
Great video Sam! It would also be nice to have even more videos on the covert borderline and covert narcissist!
Watch the playlists for both.
Thank you Sam for your wisdom 😊❤
Excellent
Thanks🌿🙏❤️🤲🙂🌿
Dr Vaknin, I watched countless of your lectures, unfortunately haven't come across an answer to what may look/feel like psychopathy to the bystander but with complete lack of antisocial behaviour and no expression of physical or verbal aggression. Wondering if the dismissive avoidant fit that description and if so would you do a lecture on that, please?
Search the channel.
תודה רבה לך פרופסור🫱🏽🫲🏼🏆 התכנים שאתה דואג להעלות
מאוד מאוד עוזרים ובעלי ידע מוערך ומעניין
Frustration converts aggression externalized to others.
Not “converts”, but “becomes”, is “converted to”.
You caught me. I suspected psychopathy for a month or so but not to this degree of accuracy, amazing!
Everything you describe is to the T. 100 percent accurate. I just dont understand how they are unaware that they fit the profile.
ive never felt more understood
absolutely terrifying
Not in an attempt to diagnose anyone but just from an observatory, referential perspective this very much describes my former partner, except he had a definite drive for narcissistic supply from his family and daughter in particular- enmeshed/emotionally incestuous relationships. One of the most disturbing things he’d done that he shared openly with me- this should have made me run immediately but I was so intoxicated by the shared fantasy that I ignored my internal dissonance- was how he’d treated animals, and in the manner you describe, he conveniently adjusted his moral framework to jettison any discrepancies so he maintained his persona of being an upright, righteous, “good” person. One such story was how (this is extremely disturbing), he had been given a dog by a family member to care for, because they were moving and the dog was elderly and not well and according to my ex boyfriend didn’t have good quality of life- and he didn’t want to pay to put the dog down so he took it into the woods and dug a grave for it and shot the dog. God it makes me sick to retell this story. The other one that made my stomach turn was how at a Native American spiritual ceremony (he is a white guy from Missouri but involved himself with native people for various quizzical purposes), they had a tradition of making puppy stew which was based on a legend from their ancestors. They told him he had to help choke these puppies and he said he did because it was their tradition and he was participating and so in his mind this made his actions somehow ok. He made sure to communicate that he didn’t like doing either of these things but he lacked an obvious remorse or shame in having done them and I have always wondered if animal cruelty, which I think this is, is a strong indication of psychopathy of any form?
Yes, my brother was cruel to animals when we where children.
His getting worse with age , has and always will be an arsehol.
@@jbuntine1255 lol, there is definitely a gap between an arsehole and a psychopath, but I get what you mean- I think animal cruelty can absolutely be indicative of some type of cognitive or emotional deficit even though definitions of what constitutes abuse are culturally bound- some cultures eat horses and dogs where, in the west, that’s anathema. But still, within the context of him being in this particular culture, I believe his actions were wrong and unnecessary- what disturbed me was how he lacked shame or dissonance. But he knew it wasn’t “right.” Most people would react with abject horror if you said you put a dog down in the manner he did when he could have afforded to have it euthanised humanely. I should have listened to my deep gut feeling when he told me those stories and saved myself years of abuse.
@@PracticalPeptides your writing is great.
I also married a covert Psychopath Narc it's all you feel familiar with , have walked away at a huge cost, but it comes down to your sanity by the end.
My X didn't actually calculate l have self worth .
What country are you in ..regards from ozz
@@jbuntine1255I had to completely rebuild my self worth from the ground up and shine a light in every dark place in me I didn’t know existed, so I would become impervious to that kind of abuse- I almost didn’t survive the first time and another relationship like that, I would have been lost completely. Few people understand what a NA relationship does to your insides, to your perception of the world and the people in it- I’m sorry you had to endure such a horrible experience. I am grateful for having gone through it because it was a chance to become so grounded and honest with myself, and I will continue to work to evolve my consciousness and be loving and caring despite my past. I’m in the US, in beautiful Colorado. I guess my writing skills are a reflection of my otherwise useless degree in philosophy 😂😂 thanks for the kind words!
I feel he is in our mind and telling us how this thing is working how accurately amazing
Is coughing, hacking your lungs, or creating noise for disturbance a sign of psychopathy? The person tends to deliberately do so.
Passive-aggression. Search the comorbidities playlist.
@@samvaknin if you see this as well, I’ve woken up to food in my bed when I know I never had it before or got up out of bed during the night. What would you consider this a sign of? It’s happened more than once
Professor... can you please do a (some) target emergency plan advisory video (content) asap PLEASE.
I believe im in a spot of bother. Well ive likely been in a unsavoury position for longer than I've cared to admit, for lack of better descriptive... my gut says its getting dire.. ive left 18 yr relationship (14 yrs marriage) sooooo much i cant go into.. im the pinball in pinball wizard.
Youve saved lifes... im certain of this.
Many thanks 🌷
Search the abuse playlist.
Thank You so much for this movie!
Are You planning to do more videos about covert psychopaths?
Yes.
The easiest thing to blame the abuser...i never blamed my narcissist parent..i knew i was not triggering this toxic behaviour...i am abused ...should i become toxic to others?no i wouldn't...of course i don't compare myself with my parent who admitted his problem by projecting it to me of course...so i am better than he was ..i dont blame anyone for my struggles to solve my problems..i keep walking
My wordsmith, my contemptuous, moral high ground, paranoid song writer, language learner. Not autistic but had a self described “addictive personality”, who had short bursts of flamboyance but mainly wanted to hide away from social activities. The most intelligent & entitled, the malaligned; he was contemptuous they could not see how special he was. And he kept telling me “I am lazy, I am a lazy person” but I didn’t know what this meant. I sign off, I am one of the many unicorns (there are many more out there than you realise).
Please make more content on this subject. Not enough information out there. Please
😮 I feel intimately roasted. What do I do if this is me?
Brilliant👏👏👏
What's the cure for this? Asking for a friend
What's the diference between a psychopath and a self supplier narcissist?
Search the comorbidities playlist.
I am reading about NPD after my ex discarded me 4 years back . Today I found a real knowledge about who he was. 100% accurate.
Got borderline personality disorder and i met a phycopath... 😢
But I never blame anyone else but me I say I’m sorry all the time
It's too bad, because you are not bad and you don't need to blame yourself. This type of mindset is favorite of Narcs so you can easily become their pray as I was.
This exactly my ex husband , phenomenal information.
Professor Sam, how will you describe a relationship between a covert psychopath man and a borderline woman
Do you believe BPD can transform to covert psychopathy? Apparently there are lectures that overt psychopathy is inherited or aquired during trauma, damage to the part of brain responsible for empathy. Is that the case with covert one? Or does covert can acquire the possibility through life?
Watch the antisocial playlist.
My therapist belives my ex has displayed ASPD tendencies. I never hear anyone talk about ASPD. Is this the same as psychopath?
Yes. Psychopath is not a recognized diagnosis. It is simply an extreme form of AsPD. Search the comorbidities playlist.
yiu are convincing me im a psychopath
This seems to perfectly summarize someone I’m close to
couldnt put my finger on it until I heard this but intuitively kept ruminating on psychopath- now it makes sense
gosh it’s sad
Professor Vaknin, thank you very much for finding the missing piece of this exacerbating puzzle (my brain also thanks you).
I have a fairly extensive background in the mental health field and I can honestly say I have never heard of a “Covert Psychopath”.
I appreciate you sharing your knowledge and insight on topics that we are seeing play out in our current society.
Wow. So would you say that a hypochondriac person who is blackmailing with suicide is not really suicidal? He is taking his health more seriously than his next meal. Could it all be just a blackmail then?
I’m just realizing looking back on my life I had NpD
Did you almost have it, or did you actually have it? Because I got told I was on the path a long time ago and got terrified of being that way. So I fixed it before I became an adult. Now I'm 30 and realize how lucky I was, because once you are a narcissist it doesn't go away easily, but for me it did; which also makes me think I may have just been severe BPD. I guess I'm curious on how you would know you had it? What makes you so sure? Only if you want to share.
@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver I’m almost 50, looking back and n my life now it’s quite obvious to me that I’m different from other ppl, too many fights, I’ve been fired from every job I have, I’ve been single my entire life because I’m scared of my emotions when I’m in love etc etc
I’ve had a tortured heart
I don’t handle pretty privilege for girls either if they abuse their privilege I will make them regret the day
@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver NPD is not something you can ''fix'' during your teenage years. It is a result of severe trauma between the age of 0-3. It is normal to be very
narcissistic before age 21-25. It goes away for multiple reasons, part of growing up. You actually just figured that your behavior was shitty and did something to change it. In short you never had NPD.
Professor Sam Vaknin: Cluster B Tribe...
Me: 🎶OoooOoGAchaka🎶OogA ooOga🎶ChakaAAAAAYooAyoAaay🎶
Thank you. You described my father perfectly. Helps me understand what was previously unexplainable.
Hello, Professor Vaknin,
I am very interested in your insights regarding the profile of the covert psychopath. Could you please share how you developed this profile? Additionally, are there any sources, studies, or literature beyond your videos where I can learn more about this concept? I would appreciate any recommendations you have for deepening my understanding of this topic.
Thank you for your time and valuable contributions to this field
I will be adding info in the future. In the meantime, watch the video about the New Psychopath.
Thanks for the relavant information in this video. Can a patient like this be helped in psychotherapy and if so what would be the basic strategy?
No. Psychopathy of all kinds is untreatable.
Thank you Prof. Vaknin so much good information.
Can a covert psychopath be also partly covert borderline?
What happens when a covert psychopath and a factor one psychopath enter a relationship?
Would it be the same dynamics as a covert psychopath and a malignant narcissist?
And what about a covert psychopath and another covert psychopath?
Thank you very much. I really appreciate all the information you have been giving us on all these wonderful videos.
This sounds most like me. I have always emerged unscathed even from very tense and violent situations. I have been told before that people can sense that I will go further than anyone who messes with me - which is true, if someone harms me I will not hesitate to harm or kill them, or inflict worse psychological punishment on me than they cause. So they stay away from me - even though objectively I am not a hard man (though I look physically fit).
And so be it, im exactly the same, this video describes me perfectly
Sounds like Trump.
@@theresefleming2054 you have trump derangement syndrome, if you werent so brainwashed by the media you would realize biden is way worse, a career politician
Oh this is soooo me 🤣🤣🤣 😁
I was just described in this video wow.
Hahaha me to but I think I also am a narcissist.
What to do if you recognize yourself in every single word that Sam Vaknin is saying? Does therapy helps?
Can a covert psychopath become a workaholic small business owner, in the context of having built up the company by himself. Never been to school, but it all being self assigned?
Since you say that they are either slackers or that they get to states where they obsess and self study. But are they able to maintain this drive for decades if it works out for them and it get them the status and money they want?
No.
Are psychopaths and narcissists similar?
Search the comorbidities playlist.
Not really
Not really, psychopaths can have narcissistic traits, but narcissists suffer from low self esteem and aren’t psychopaths.
Search the comorbidities channel.
Keir Starmer it's the bill
But, what if you actually are resilient, strong, and empathetic. For real? And do work to accomplish goals? Am I a covert psycho?
Not if you don’t have the other traits and behaviors described in this video.
Could you please cover more the topic of romanticizing/faking of mental illness among millennials and gen Z? I've noticed that it has become a source of "attraction" among young people to fake mental illness in order to attract dates/friends and etc, "Hey everyone I'm autistic nice to meet you" type of behavior has become very common especially in social media.
It's cringe and sad because it obscures and undermines people with real mental illness who would usually avoid declaring themselves "mentally ill" and instead try to hide their issues.
I agree! This has been on the rise for a while now.
I believe Sam has covered this, he's said it's become a status symbol. It doesn't make everyone who does it a narcissist, but it certainly correlates to narcissism and the need for attention, acceptance, admiration etc.
Watch the video on therapy speak.
Yes!!
lmao ur autistic
Thank you for the video Professor, this sounds to me a lot like communal narcissism, are they related ?
Search the channel for prosocial psychopath.
@@samvaknin Thank you
Hello Sam, are you willing to do diagnosis?
I am not a clinician.
@@samvaknin I didn’t say you were, but tbh you should be 🙂. I’d like to talk
Hello I am the person he is talking about in the video ask me anything
This might explain alot of these true crime videos especially those may involve spouses that someone can be married to someone for 20 30 40 50 years then suddenly they snap leaving the other spouse usually its the wife to be frank on the receiving end of aggression and/or dead. And the family always say "We never thought him to be that way, I never thought..." 😬
❤
Is a covert malignant narcissist more dangerous then a covert psychopath?
Yes.
@@samvaknin Thankyou for answering. I have one more question. Would a covert malignant narcissist also have all these things you mentioned in this video?