For years I tried to figured out what I first thought as some sort of depression, then I got closer and was heartbroken to realize that there was no one inside the shell , so there was no one depressed in there ! His mask dropped in my most vulnerable time . When I was pregnant and in pain on the floor , he would look at me with zero emotion. Psychopaths are the closest thing to the meaning of EVIL!
I got diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder half a year ago, before I turned 18. They psychologically tested me and it said "psychopathic, narcissistic and shizoid traits, narcissistic - antisocial personality profile.." (something like that). I am in medical school and I spend hours every day studying psychology for years, but since I got diagnosed I started reading/listening a lot about psychopathy and narcissism and only now do I see things they saw in me.
After spending many hours listening to Professor Sam Vaknin's videos, this educational explanation of the elemental distinction between psychopaths and narcissists is my favorite. The contrasted thinking, drives, and noted missing basic Human "bits" made the personality style differences clear and easily understood. Referencing the empty shark stare was the perfect metaphor of a psychopath and a conceptually satisfying way to end the lecture - they are Sharks......
Yup! “ People don’t exist if they are not serving them.” The psychopath in my life pays zero child support , replies to me when he wants to , and does all he can to make me feel abandoned bc he had studied me in the past and knows I had an abandonment issue. What he doesn’t understand is that I have healed a lot of that and although I still have that wound, I wouldn’t want to receive anything from him. He also tries to denigrate me and hurt me by ignoring me and by disregarding my place as the mother of his child. He also abuses me financially bc I am exercising my agency, so he must see me as a threat. Very different treatment than when I provided free shelter, car, credit cards, etc.
Brilliantly insightful. I was diagnosed with ASPD and ASD a number of years ago, life is a battlefield for me, always has been, always will be. Love and happiness are things I have never felt.
So the notable statement of this video for me was " the psychopath does not acknowledge YOU EXIST unless YOU'RE serving THEM "in some way" or fighting with THEM "in some way" Interesting as I've thought this exact theory while analyzing questionable people who clearly have narc tendencies... Amazing that a lot of their miserable traits run in parallel from person to person. I'm assuming that is likely why they have freakish radar for other narcs, because they know it's game over. My parents used to say....No one likes getting a taste of their own medicine, if it's bad. There is no doubt (in my world) that for the most part, there is considerably more bad than good if you are keeping count. Good health and happiness is slowly sucked away from the targets/victims. Stay far away if you want to live long while being happy and healthy as a bonus!
Yes!!! They have a radar for other narcs. The psychopath in my life detected the evil in another psychopath female “ friend “ of mine and he detested her with passion just bc he was able to read her way before me. It turned out they were both evil with the difference that he is a Covert Psychopath (not attention seeking, cold and calculating) and she is comorbidity of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Psychopathy. (extremely Machiavellian , problem seeker, attention seeker , looses her temper easily.)
Thanks, Sam, for the tour and it's quite an educational one. I like your analogy of "their internal world as an infinite chess game." Really enjoy your fun sense of humour.
This is brilliant. The way they objectify goals and everything, that they became so because of an original extreme anxiety, self disassociation, etc.. it makes so much sense.. haven't heard this kind of information anywhere else, where it's just about them being without empathy, fearless, manipulative, etc and just cite genetic causes and perhaps childhood trauma
„Compensatory reaction to insecurity/anxiety …“ is 💯 right. As he is aging and his frustration reaches the higher level, psychopathic traits becoming more prominent that narcissistic traits. Thank you 🙏 Sam Vaknin. It is good to know I am not imagining this… although I would get tempted by self gaslighting myself, if I get too scared about living with him in his country, while mine is on the other side of the ocean. And yes, his need to conquer is most apparent when he is afraid, not of me, but someone else. He is “practicing” the display of his power vs. me, his partner, before scheduled appointment, for example 😢
This was an absolutely terrific explanation and breakdown of this personality type. You are so clear with your descriptions and explianations. You covered it all...who, what, when, and why do by listening to you all my questions, doubts and uncertainties are no more. Thank you
My family is dealing with a psychopath he has caused so much damage including my cousin (his wife ) passing away in 2021. They are dangerous people period, nothing but destruction. Get away from these people run for the hills your life depends on it.
32:35 I looked up the term, "cathexis". I am finally learning to define through words that yoy chose and in turn, describe and cypher the, "why am I like this?". Thank you for you and for "publicly" educating those of us that have been "dumbed down" so to speak, by those that are why these words have come to be. (" THE Only child of My Mother and daughter of an infamous man of which she left before my birth. SOOOO MUCH MORE TO ADD FOR CONTEXT OF WHY I AM REACHING OUT IN THIS WAY.) Sincerely grateful, Michelle 32:35
greetings friend, i hope this message finds You warmly ^^ ive watched/listened to Your other videos about psychopaths, i dont know why but it is a very interesting topic to me. i was lucky enough to get in touch with a psychopath online, but i dont want to tell how i realized He is one. i showered Him with love and affection like anyone - but it is a scary thought that once You are on their radar, You cannot become invisible to them ever again - thats what i learned from one of Your videos. But i havent talked to Him in a while and He's way out there in some other country. But more than that, i wish to learn more about sociopaths since thats what some of my friends are. So if its possible to make a video on sociopaths i would appreciate it so much. Thank You for Your work, and i wish You much success in Your future endeavors ♥
With the indoctrination/inoculation of 'civility' into society, has not the field of play for psychopathic manipulation expanded considerably? I mean hiw much manipulative 'wiggle room' did narcissists and psychopaths have since basic survival was always in the forefront. If verbal communication was relatively low, how gaslight or perform/deploy other manipulation tactics?
I would imagine when competition for resources was more intense the psychopath had more of a biological niche to exist in and was perhaps better integrated into earlier societies
Thank you for the video, it clears a lot to my yesterdays questions. Is the any information to possible causality of psychopathy through transgenerational traumata or epigenetic traumata?
But why when he looks at me. he says I am a extention of himself I look exactly like him I must be considered more than just a property like the other objects. I am a extention of him. I'm a addict for power and demonstrate it to him. That's when he says I'm proud of you. What does this mean
@@SamOmondi-x3q You're presuming the person is actually psychopathic. The traits may be there but there are multitudes of other factors that the diagnosis could also be. As far as being useful, an example would be are you helping paying their bills? Helping them gain more status socially? Getting them a better paying job? Satisfying their needs over yours? Can you get them a big deal? Buying them whatever they want like a house, a car, etc. just so that they can use you for that, doing as they say... and so forth.
@CoreLabb after death doesn't the psychopath still want to grasp the hand of power. even in his grave by his extentions, referring to his sons carrying on his legacy by maintaining the power the psychopath created.
1:02:14 My mother being born in 1939 Holland, the beginning of ww2... occupied by the grip of my Omas huge fear? I constantly sit with forgiving my mother for being a (shitty) mother.
Prof Sam Vaknin I have one question if the psychopath is such a dangerous ruthless warlike apex predator does this mean that the psychopath can easily be in a relationship with the narcissist because the psychopath is too powerful and an adult while the narcissist is a hurt child so can the psychopath easily manage a narcissist or will the psychopath also suffer narcissistic abuse and won’t be able to live with a narcissist
Yes, you still face narcissistic abuse. Only 2 differences are 1. Tou can see the narcissists game from far away, so they don't cone as a shock. 2. That the narcissists infidelity doesn't go against one of your major goals. Examples: they don't ruin your reputation amongst your close friends/associates. Doesn't bring back deadly diseases to you. Doesn't stop being an object for sexual intercourse when you need it. If the above are ticked, a pyschopath doesn't understand what you mean by abuse. Anything otherwise and they are an abusing enemy
I am now coming to my 56tth year, mien mouder will be 85 this month. She is literally a, "war baby" van de netherlands. My Oma, her Mother, was the only member of my family that I knew outside of the, "stories" my mom would tell me. I lost my Oma the year I divorced tbe father of my children. She passed in her sleep, as she would always tell me in her last moments that she would choose to go. (Auggghhh...)
Prof Vaknin, would you know at what age could a narc be identified? I'd swear looking back, that my brother was showing signs at the age of 3. He and my mom were always at odds and he enjoyed antagonizing her. He used to creep me out when he smiled at her angst.
Hi Doc, I emailed you. I am trying to help my daughter through a really really bad situation. I was wondering if you could do more videos on the abusive behaviors towards their own children I believe this man to be more than just a narcissist but that’s opinion last night he told his 10 year-old daughter after alienating her and her younger brother away from mom for a week while mom and I redid the kitchen remodel he wouldn’t help with. He told his 10 year old daughter after everything I’ve done for you all week you’re not gonna watch a movie with me. You’re gonna watch one with your mom He’s going to take the kids on a vacation for a week. The youngest one doesn’t wanna go. He has to per court order. I was wondering if you could help me more towards the grandchildren or if I’m missing videos that you already have posted. Thank you for posting all these very educational videos
This makes so much sense Darth Vader was no longer a Jedi he became a machine in a human body he became a psychopath maybe as a psychopath is not human
I thought Ripley was a psychopath in the movie but he interacted with internal objects (bathtub scene conversation with Dickie and Marge) and also with snapshot (his aunt in the dentist chair). Would you say the movie got this wrong about him then?
Doktorze czy w takim razie normalny nie zaburzony człowiek w związku z narcyzem Psychopatą ma wrażenie , że narcyz psychopata go używa i jednocześnie traktuje go jak swojego wroga i nie dając nic uczucia , czułości tylko jeśli nie może cię już w żaden sposób użyć stajesz się dla niego z automatu wrogiem , za nic tak po prostu ? Hi from Poland 🇵🇱🤲❤️🍀
This reminds me of Star Wars Princess Leia saying the location Dantoween to save her kindgdom right before Darth Vader and the commander shoot her entire planet with the Death Star 🌕☄️ 🌎 ✨🤯
For years I tried to figured out what I first thought as some sort of depression, then I got closer and was heartbroken to realize that there was no one inside the shell , so there was no one depressed in there !
His mask dropped in my most vulnerable time . When I was pregnant and in pain on the floor , he would look at me with zero emotion. Psychopaths are the closest thing to the meaning of EVIL!
For sure evil seems to flow from them, and it does seem connected to the absence of a self within. Sorry you went through that, esp during pregnancy.
I got diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder half a year ago, before I turned 18. They psychologically tested me and it said "psychopathic, narcissistic and shizoid traits, narcissistic - antisocial personality profile.." (something like that). I am in medical school and I spend hours every day studying psychology for years, but since I got diagnosed I started reading/listening a lot about psychopathy and narcissism and only now do I see things they saw in me.
How old are you now?
@@chrisredfield3688 18 but they somehow diagnosed me with ASPD at the age of 17.
@@chrisredfield3688 I'm 18.
@chrisredfield3688 he or she is 18 .
You can't get diagnosed with ASPD before you're 18. It's part of the diagnostic criteria.
After spending many hours listening to Professor Sam Vaknin's videos, this educational explanation of the elemental distinction between psychopaths and narcissists is my favorite. The contrasted thinking, drives, and noted missing basic Human "bits" made the personality style differences clear and easily understood. Referencing the empty shark stare was the perfect metaphor of a psychopath and a conceptually satisfying way to end the lecture - they are Sharks......
This guy knows what he is talking about.
I love your videos because not only are they insightful and helpful, but they are also hilarious, love your sense of humor.
Yes, I love Sam’s humour! I love the videos he does with Richard Grannon too.
Yup!
“ People don’t exist if they are not serving them.” The psychopath in my life pays zero child support , replies to me when he wants to , and does all he can to make me feel abandoned bc he had studied me in the past and knows I had an abandonment issue. What he doesn’t understand is that I have healed a lot of that and although I still have that wound, I wouldn’t want to receive anything from him.
He also tries to denigrate me and hurt me by ignoring me and by disregarding my place as the mother of his child.
He also abuses me financially bc I am exercising my agency, so he must see me as a threat. Very different treatment than when I provided free shelter, car, credit cards, etc.
Brilliantly insightful. I was diagnosed with ASPD and ASD a number of years ago, life is a battlefield for me, always has been, always will be. Love and happiness are things I have never felt.
So the notable statement of this video for me was " the psychopath does not acknowledge YOU EXIST unless YOU'RE serving THEM "in some way" or fighting with THEM "in some way"
Interesting as I've thought this exact theory while analyzing questionable people who clearly have narc tendencies... Amazing that a lot of their miserable traits run in parallel from person to person.
I'm assuming that is likely why they have freakish radar for other narcs, because they know it's game over.
My parents used to say....No one likes getting a taste of their own medicine, if it's bad.
There is no doubt (in my world) that for the most part, there is considerably more bad than good if you are keeping count.
Good health and happiness is slowly sucked away from the targets/victims.
Stay far away if you want to live long while being happy and healthy as a bonus!
Yes!!! They have a radar for other narcs. The psychopath in my life detected the evil in another psychopath female “ friend “ of mine and he detested her with passion just bc he was able to read her way before me. It turned out they were both evil with the difference that he is a Covert Psychopath (not attention seeking, cold and calculating) and she is comorbidity of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Psychopathy. (extremely Machiavellian , problem seeker, attention seeker , looses her temper easily.)
Yes they their own traits very quickly in your friends even if you can't and will tell you to drop them .
I love about how u describe the psychopath as a shark and people are just blood in the water it's so profound and really describes how they are .
How can you love that !? It is so dramatic... eww.
Thanks, Sam, for the tour and it's quite an educational one. I like your analogy of "their internal world as an infinite chess game." Really enjoy your fun sense of humour.
This is brilliant. The way they objectify goals and everything, that they became so because of an original extreme anxiety, self disassociation, etc.. it makes so much sense.. haven't heard this kind of information anywhere else, where it's just about them being without empathy, fearless, manipulative, etc and just cite genetic causes and perhaps childhood trauma
That is some scary shit Sam! It's true they are people you don't want to mess with. Its best to be irrelevant.
What’s scary ?
Wow!!! Thank you Sam, for decoding this important information.
„Compensatory reaction to insecurity/anxiety …“ is 💯 right. As he is aging and his frustration reaches the higher level, psychopathic traits becoming more prominent that narcissistic traits. Thank you 🙏 Sam Vaknin. It is good to know I am not imagining this… although I would get tempted by self gaslighting myself, if I get too scared about living with him in his country, while mine is on the other side of the ocean. And yes, his need to conquer is most apparent when he is afraid, not of me, but someone else. He is “practicing” the display of his power vs. me, his partner, before scheduled appointment, for example 😢
This was an absolutely terrific explanation and breakdown of this personality type. You are so clear with your descriptions and explianations. You covered it all...who, what, when, and why do by listening to you all my questions, doubts and uncertainties are no more. Thank you
I feel so much better equipped after learning from this and Professor Vaknin's other videos.
this session was thought provoking and well explained
My family is dealing with a psychopath he has caused so much damage including my cousin (his wife ) passing away in 2021. They are dangerous people period, nothing but destruction. Get away from these people run for the hills your life depends on it.
Marvellous information.
Can a psychopath suffer mortification, asking for a friend 🤔
No.
@samvaknin... thankyou🙏
50:17
(Nailed it RIGHT THERE)a
That was beautiful. What a majestic being the psychopath is.
A good example:President Ruto
@@deadxzoned6073😂😂😂
👍🏻 The stubborn chess piece has finally broken free 🎉👨👩👧
There's one at my old workplace, colleague on the floor having an asthma attack, psycho stepped over them to get a cuppa.
oh shit, this is exactly how I see the world
that's cool
Brilliant video, thank you so much:)
One question tho, is it possible for psychopath to feel or have social anxiety?
No.
32:35
I looked up the term, "cathexis". I am finally learning to define through words that yoy chose and in turn, describe and cypher the, "why am I like this?".
Thank you for you and for "publicly" educating those of us that have been "dumbed down" so to speak, by those that are why these words have come to be.
(" THE Only child of My Mother and daughter of an infamous man of which she left before my birth. SOOOO MUCH MORE TO ADD FOR CONTEXT OF WHY I AM REACHING OUT IN THIS WAY.)
Sincerely grateful,
Michelle
32:35
Is it really hate ( the opposite of love ) or is it fear?
Really enjoyed your insight on this subject.
Hate always involves fear. Some say that they are synonymous emotions.
The opposite of love is indifference
Thank you so much Dear Sam Vaknin❤
An ENDLESS cbess game!!!
This is exactly the definetive of how my Mother lives.
Broknows me to well
greetings friend, i hope this message finds You warmly ^^
ive watched/listened to Your other videos about psychopaths, i dont know why but it is a very interesting topic to me. i was lucky enough to get in touch with a psychopath online, but i dont want to tell how i realized He is one.
i showered Him with love and affection like anyone - but it is a scary thought that once You are on their radar, You cannot become invisible to them ever again - thats what i learned from one of Your videos. But i havent talked to Him in a while and He's way out there in some other country.
But more than that, i wish to learn more about sociopaths since thats what some of my friends are. So if its possible to make a video on sociopaths i would appreciate it so much.
Thank You for Your work, and i wish You much success in Your future endeavors ♥
41:14
WOW!!!
Excellent video ❤
Yes they could careless about you. I thought so. They just mess w you
Thank you very much professor ❤
Would a borderline or covert borderline experience some of these?
Not in this way.
With the indoctrination/inoculation of 'civility' into society, has not the field of play for psychopathic manipulation expanded considerably? I mean hiw much manipulative 'wiggle room' did narcissists and psychopaths have since basic survival was always in the forefront. If verbal communication was relatively low, how gaslight or perform/deploy other manipulation tactics?
Search the channel for "victimhood" and for "woke".
@@samvaknin Thank you from a follower of a few years. Wish I wouldve been a follower before I got engaged to my fiancee
I would imagine when competition for resources was more intense the psychopath had more of a biological niche to exist in and was perhaps better integrated into earlier societies
Thank you for the video, it clears a lot to my yesterdays questions.
Is the any information to possible causality of psychopathy through transgenerational traumata or epigenetic traumata?
How does the psychopath look at hes child is it a extention of himself like hes arm so he loves you?
Imo the psychopath views his children as a piece of property to fulfill his needs.
But why when he looks at me. he says I am a extention of himself I look exactly like him I must be considered more than just a property like the other objects. I am a extention of him. I'm a addict for power and demonstrate it to him. That's when he says I'm proud of you. What does this mean
@@SamOmondi-x3q if it is truly a psychopath that means you are usefull to me
@@SamOmondi-x3q You're presuming the person is actually psychopathic. The traits may be there but there are multitudes of other factors that the diagnosis could also be.
As far as being useful, an example would be are you helping paying their bills? Helping them gain more status socially? Getting them a better paying job? Satisfying their needs over yours? Can you get them a big deal? Buying them whatever they want like a house, a car, etc. just so that they can use you for that, doing as they say... and so forth.
@CoreLabb after death doesn't the psychopath still want to grasp the hand of power. even in his grave by his extentions, referring to his sons carrying on his legacy by maintaining the power the psychopath created.
What about comorbidity and object relations
15:55 👌👌👌
18:05 Reversal of Effect
1:02:14
My mother being born in 1939 Holland, the beginning of ww2... occupied by the grip of my Omas huge fear?
I constantly sit with forgiving my mother for being a (shitty) mother.
Prof Sam Vaknin I have one question if the psychopath is such a dangerous ruthless warlike apex predator does this mean that the psychopath can easily be in a relationship with the narcissist because the psychopath is too powerful and an adult while the narcissist is a hurt child so can the psychopath easily manage a narcissist or will the psychopath also suffer narcissistic abuse and won’t be able to live with a narcissist
Search the channel.
Yes, you still face narcissistic abuse. Only 2 differences are
1. Tou can see the narcissists game from far away, so they don't cone as a shock.
2. That the narcissists infidelity doesn't go against one of your major goals. Examples: they don't ruin your reputation amongst your close friends/associates. Doesn't bring back deadly diseases to you. Doesn't stop being an object for sexual intercourse when you need it.
If the above are ticked, a pyschopath doesn't understand what you mean by abuse.
Anything otherwise and they are an abusing enemy
This makes me think Aristotle was a psychopath. Psychopathy just seems like hyper-masculine cognition
I am now coming to my 56tth year, mien mouder will be 85 this month. She is literally a, "war baby" van de netherlands.
My Oma, her Mother, was the only member of my family that I knew outside of the, "stories" my mom would tell me. I lost my Oma the year I divorced tbe father of my children. She passed in her sleep, as she would always tell me in her last moments that she would choose to go.
(Auggghhh...)
Learning of my Psychopathy was a cause for celebration 🥳🍾
Congrats 🥳 Do you feel a sense of freedom?
Prof Vaknin, would you know at what age could a narc be identified? I'd swear looking back, that my brother was showing signs at the age of 3. He and my mom were always at odds and he enjoyed antagonizing her. He used to creep me out when he smiled at her angst.
Pathological narcissism cannot be diagnosed prior to age 18-25. Search the channel for "conduct disorder".
@@samvaknin thank you🙂
Hi Doc, I emailed you. I am trying to help my daughter through a really really bad situation. I was wondering if you could do more videos on the abusive behaviors towards their own children I believe this man to be more than just a narcissist but that’s opinion last night he told his 10 year-old daughter after alienating her and her younger brother away from mom for a week while mom and I redid the kitchen remodel he wouldn’t help with. He told his 10 year old daughter after everything I’ve done for you all week you’re not gonna watch a movie with me. You’re gonna watch one with your mom He’s going to take the kids on a vacation for a week. The youngest one doesn’t wanna go. He has to per court order. I was wondering if you could help me more towards the grandchildren or if I’m missing videos that you already have posted.
Thank you for posting all these very educational videos
Is Mr Bubz (the dog) suffering from Narcecism?
Very interesting
This makes so much sense Darth Vader was no longer a Jedi he became a machine in a human body he became a psychopath maybe as a psychopath is not human
The theory has been proposed
He's not a psychopath. If anything he's a sociopath with borderline personality disorder
We often think of psychopaths as these power players in the world but can they also be really pathetic?
IMO, most of them are pathetic losers.
I wonder-could psychopat benefit from an anxiolyc medication treatment
Good question:)
You only think about benefits for society it’s not good for the psychopath to loose his/her ability
They don’t experience anxiety, so I’m not sure how an anti-anxiety med would be of benefit. What’s your thoughts behind this?
Dear Sam! Is it true that psychopaths don't blink or blink less?
Studies show that psychopaths blink less in distressing or alarming situations (“startle blinking”).
@samvaknin Thank you very much for your answer!
I thought Ripley was a psychopath in the movie but he interacted with internal objects (bathtub scene conversation with Dickie and Marge) and also with snapshot (his aunt in the dentist chair). Would you say the movie got this wrong about him then?
Ripley is psychotic.
43:13!!!
(Mien mouder)
Doktorze czy w takim razie normalny nie zaburzony człowiek w związku z narcyzem Psychopatą ma wrażenie , że narcyz psychopata go używa i jednocześnie traktuje go jak swojego wroga i nie dając nic uczucia , czułości tylko jeśli nie może cię już w żaden sposób użyć stajesz się dla niego z automatu wrogiem , za nic tak po prostu ? Hi from Poland 🇵🇱🤲❤️🍀
Watch the shared fantasy playlist.
@@samvaknin ok,,thank you 😊
(Impermeable)
Can a narcissist have psychopathic traits?
Search the comorbidities playlist.
This reminds me of Star Wars Princess Leia saying the location Dantoween to save her kindgdom right before Darth Vader and the commander shoot her entire planet with the Death Star 🌕☄️ 🌎 ✨🤯
What about comorbidity and object relations