You ignore them No eye contact One or 2 word response Walk away Block Don't look back If someone brings up their names, you respond, "Who" Proceed to live a happy life.
Yeah after learning it the hardest way imaginable.... through hell. A living nightmarish hell. No words can describe. I'm going through the bullshit of it & don't wish it on anyone EVER. Leaving it soon because I can't stand it anymore.
Yeah they've always gotten extremely aggressive around my boundaries increasingly when I won't let them violate them. It sucks because they start acting like a victim and usually get a few people to come along and employ the bandwagon effect. I'm autistic and a little socially inept instinctually so it's incredibly difficult to navigate when people team up against you in a crowd and don't really seem to value or carry about the truth and seem honestly to be actively seeking out tyrannical figures to aid which is perplexing to me. I want to help people do something right not something wrong.
Oh Sam - how you make me laugh about my insanely ridiculous relationship frustrations. Thanks for a wonderful summary of a typical day spent with my narcissist.
It's not hard to provoke a narcissist 😂 it's effortless as breathing. They love to be upset. If they don't have a legitimate reason they will invent it.
@MaryMarietteThis is a good description. They also assign jobs and responsibilities to people against their will. They coerce people into doing tasks. They're entitled to everyone's time, energy and money.
Omg! So true! My father left a lot of tools and other valuable things when he died, my STBX got them because he was the only male. When he cheated on me AGAIN, and final reverse discarded me, my mother said for him to give it all to me. OMG!! That made him lose it.
"No" is always a boundary "No" can be a one word sentence "No" needs to further explanation "No" is always a "positive" (because you are saying yes to yourself)😎
💯💯💯🏆 I need that on a t shirt and on my wall. We, the survivers tend to forget and still say yes when we should say no. We need to get rid of this conditioning. Saying yes comes often like a reflex, saying yes bevore I even think about the favor asked. That's very hard to get rid of it.
Sam has the cutest giggle😊 On a serious note, this information is so poignatly truthful.I have experienced the wrath of a wuonded child by disagreeing with him, it is hell like.
So true. My narcissistic spouse will fly into a terrifying rage if I, or anyone else, tells him, "No." Or, if we offer to help him. You just can't win. After 30 years, I am done with him.
Let them hoover you with the grand initial hoover, engage with them briefly and then abruptly disengage from them, and ignore all follow up hoovers, calls and voicemails. Then block them forever. The empowerment is magical 😃
@@EmmaCroft73 How's that ? I don't fit the criteria at all, you are projecting. And that you have no issue hanging that very serious diagnosis on someone over a very simple and direct comment, says it all about you.
I think they love when you say "I agree with you." If you want to get their goat say "yeah, I know." Say it like they just said something stupid and boring and leave the room, and then watch them follow you all around the house saying "what do mean you know?!" It's awesome.
@@QuiteContrary14 I'm here because I raised my grandson from the time I cut his cord until he was 6 years old then his malignant covert narcissistic father got out of prison he went when my daughter was 4 months pregnant. She refused to parents and was neglectful so I took custody when he was 3 months old and threw her out of my house I believe she's an over narcissist she's look at me look at me look at me and I blame myself because she's my only child and I spoiled her doted on her and was a helicopter mom she took off to Vegas to do girls gone wild videos and strip. So after a lengthy Court battle with the covert father and a lot of money after a year and a half he ended up with sole custody. 7 months into visits I saw welts and cuts on my grandson's rear end I called the police who did not show DCF the pictures left them on an Evidence disc and spoke to my grandson in front of a convict that has F the police tattooed on his back. Nothing was done except for he cut me off and I haven't seen my grandson in 4 years and I cry everyday. So I'm trying to figure out his mind how I could do this to his kid. The last time I see my grandson is at CVS Pharmacy when he was hanging out the window screaming my man and my nana. POS said shut the f up and roll up the window. I didn't know about this disorder really so me I printed up all kinds of his pornographic pictures from his website I sent him to his father the church is employer I called his PO I took pictures of him smoking blunts they've done nothing to this dude I haven't seen my grandbaby in 4 years and he lives 10 minutes from me put 100 sign out on his birthday that I hand painted I beg and plead with this guy kiss his ass and he just does not care so I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to make him forgive me for something I never did wrong I wasn't trying to be mean or critical I just don't understand being in a romantic relationship with a human like this God bless you
Also...this incredible speaker has me constantly smiling...if not laughing out loud...because I'm pretting much surrounded by narcissists and they are truly how they are depicted here. But once you understand how they tick it gets much easier to stand them. The ones who aren't family of course have got kicked out of my life.
I was working with one I think. She was the Queen. She could only be the one to make decisions in the office. She was a coworker not a boss but could not see it that way. Unfortunately the employers were not helpful in dealing with her tantrums so I asked to make the schedule out so I would never work with her again. They did and now I’m in peace.
I used to be so intimidated and afraid of his egregious reactions now, years later, I look at invoking his tantrums as a game. I especially love the silent treatment so I don’t have to hear his bloody mouth for a bit, nor cook, do anything for him it’s brilliant 😂🤣😂🤣🏆
Honestly if you're in a relationship with this person it might be best to seperate and focus your efforts towards someone else. If you've gotten to the point where you provoke your abusive partner into tantrums for amusement. He's making you abusive as well even if he treats you horribly as well. He's having a psychological effect on you, it's good that you're standing up for yourself though.
They want you to jump through a window screaming pulling your hair out and running down the street like you're on fire 🔥 that's what they want😂 unspeakable joy knowing
One of the best videos on understanding the narcissist i have seen to date. ! I thoroughly enjoyed your lecture and your tone od presentation. After listening to countless discussions on this topic, you are a trusted resource of facts for me.
😂😂😂😂😂 a person could watch just this video and have an excellent synapsis of what is happening inside the mind of the narcissist. I never understood why innocuous things I said caused a tantrum not unlike a Cat 5 hurricane. If you're overwhelmed, I can come help you. Boom Yeah, I know. I read an article recently that said what you just said. In addition, did you know....(expounding on what he said)? Boom If you are experiencing these kind of things in your relationship, get out NOW. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@therearenoruleshere saying no will result in them getting pissed, yes. And they will take ir on... the person who said no. Thats what he meant. Saying no doesnt work if you have narc family members, only on strangers on the street
@@deadwolf3607 you dont understand the meaning in telling them no. It’s not to poke them, they know that, but don’t want you to know. Look at in a way of setting boundaries and sticking to them. Or continuing goals you’ve set for yourself and not stopping to complete those goals after you’re done with the narc. I was literally married to one, I know what I’m talking about 🤭
@@therearenoruleshere and I was a child of one. You had the law behind you, the narc knows this. Thats what causes the diference in threatment, or so I think
Another brilliant words 👏..i am so bored of not talking to narcist for long time may be for some fun i will try all u said ..i may say " let me show how to do it " or " i think u need help "
It’s been my experience that all you have to do to touch off an off-the-scale reaction from a narcissist is to tell the truth. However, don’t be surprised if you become a target, an exile &, a “bad object.” It took me awhile to realize that if I was going to open my mouth & let the truth fly out, I’d have to get used to the blowback.
You need to be super ignorant with zero life experience to genuinely believe that you are the best, you know the best! That’s the part I don’t get. As for my own experience, I proved my narcissist wrong in everyway possible but it seemed like the proofs made him lose his mind even more, he started hallucinating and his speech changed, his whole personality changed but in a bad way. He withdrew inside more which is a good thing for society. I would love Dr. Sam to talk about this phenomena of a narcissist starting hallucinating and withdraw from society after him being proven wrong and humiliated.
Things that caused my narcissist ex to explode with anger: 1. I ordered coffee and donuts for us to his house. 2. He thought I deleted a text in our chat when I didn't. 3. I didn't respond to him for a few hours while I was eating and going to a movie with my sister and daughter. 4. I ignored him after he called me a bitch. 5. I ignored him after he screamed at me 1 inch from my face because I wore a shirt that he said was too revealing. (He bought me the shirt btw) 6. His mom paid for dinner and I should have been more aggressive in grabbing the check 7. I didn't respond to him while I was at work And many more...
If I ask my narc fake spouse to please keep it around the speed limit (70 mph instead of 90 mph) when my one year-old grandson is riding with us, he becomes enraged and drives 95, or he slows down to 45. He NEVER asks me to do anything for him because he expects me to KNOW what he's thinking and what he needs. One time this sap said to ME, "I'm going to get Mike from work to come and talk to you! He will put you in your place." 😂😂😂 Does he sound llike a true narc?
This is great advice and I’m going to try your phrases on my narcissistic mother! Wrote them all down. Thank you professor. Btw love your laugh it’s contagious ❤️😂✌️😊👍
I love your laugh!😂 Uhhh, so let me get this straight; probably best not to deliberately provoke the narcissist. The intelligent strategy is to quietly walk away. 😊
Curious if ya’ll see this as a “reactive abuse “ expression? At times when a partner is so deflated by a narcs persistent projected provocations, they may respond with a deep well of emotion that may look like some of Sam’s descriptions here. The NPD may stand over the partner with an internal smile saying “see you’re the narc, the crazy person” and dismiss their every word in order to stay in control.
You don't have to do anything to provoke them. You can't avoid provoking them, whatever you do or say, you can't win. You become a mute hollowed-out shell of your former self, diminished and broken. All you can do to save yourself is walk away and hide, if you can.
My ex narc was an expert on every subject ever known to man! I’d sit there completely lost for words sometimes listening to his utter rubbish coming out of him!
So sorry I didn't know that. All the fun I missed with his nonsense EVERYTHING you said is soooo true. Just discarded,not angel anymore, I wish I knew it.
Sadly, if you deliver some truth to a narcissist, you need to be physically superior - otherwise you'll just get the head punched off you as most are quite violent when provoked. Being "physically superior" can be tricky because your average narcissist is quite narcissistic = ergo they spend ages on themselves, which often(usually) includes gym-time. You being busy, may not get time to spend 3 hours a day in the gym... They do as their self is their favorite thing. Telling a slight-framed male or female how to "provoke" a narc can be very bad advice for them. Chances are it will lead to severe physical abuse. You can bore on about how the narc is insecure or weak inside blah blah - but chances are they're still going to be well able to knock your face in when enraged. Be Machiavellian when dealing with a narc - driving them into a rage ain't too bright unless you are stronger - which you might not be. Be smarter. They ain't that bright - despite how often they will tell you they are.
The reason why I like this is not necessarily to make the narc made on purpose. I do some of the things not knowing that the narc is getting mad by this and not understanding why I’m getting the anger.
My ex covert always offended or irritated, even with the minimal comment or answer. I did evetything I shouldnt… when I did not know, but after I did it sometimes for fun, and told him 😅 dont start !! They are ridicoulisly funny 😂😂😂
Wow that explains so much about my former collegue ... that REALLY caused me learning about narcissism few years ago. And all things considering i can consider myself lucky that after his innitial behavior targeted at ME revealed him quickly. And the 4 free days i spent googling how the hack can someone behave like that ! Foolishy expecting my new collegue is a regular person i commited many points mentioned in the video, including the things such as offering help if needed, actually remembering what happened etc ;-)
They also keep track of the "love" they give - the dinners, gifts, trips - and expect you to comply and do as they want/say because of it. They won't tell you that but if there is any form of transgression on their part they have the love-bombing they've done to warrant it. You are merely a character in their lives.
It can be a tragedy if someone has parents with such disorders. It seems ridiculous, but these people will ruin the life of even their own child. In my case, my father became strangely furious when he lost control of something. When everything went too far and I reported the matter to the police, he ridiculed and humiliated me and the fact that I had evidence. He lost control after he found out that his control wasn't working and I took the matter to court (I remember him talking to himself after he received a summons: "me, he's taking me to court with his stupid evidence." They truly consider themselves Gods). The guy started destroying his property in the house, claiming that it was me who did it, ... even the police were amazed what this man was doing and saying. These people cannot accept facts and manipulate their surroundings to draw others into their imaginary world.
I exposed him SOCIALLY on his circle of acquaintances. I'm sure no one really believe what I said... but at least there's DOUBT now... next time he might not be so lucky
How about a person who has to turn off the volume of the navigation in the car, because they can't stand "someone", anyone, telling them where to turn. And getting furious when they miss the turn und you point out it wouldn't happen if the volume was on. Thank you, sam vaknin for your profound knowledge about this condition you are willing to share.
She NEEDED what I was using, said she bought it and wants to use it now, had other stuff like it to use, i gave it to her and I said ME ME ME ME ME ME ME, she totally lost it, even heard some of THEM words, it was fun, I now know who she is.
Very interesting. Curious, how would a narcissist react or respond if these statements or questions were posed to them by a psychopath? I remember you saying that if a psychopath walked into a room where a narcissist was present, the narcissist would immediately recognize the psychopath as such and dutifully take his place in the hierarchy of personalities - which for the narcissist is subservience?
You ignore them
No eye contact
One or 2 word response
Walk away
Block
Don't look back
If someone brings up their names, you respond, "Who"
Proceed to live a happy life.
And it’s so much fun 😂
Need to learn the last second part
Oh.... That's great... "Who"? I'm using this one.😂❤
Yeah after learning it the hardest way imaginable.... through hell. A living nightmarish hell. No words can describe.
I'm going through the bullshit of it & don't wish it on anyone EVER. Leaving it soon because I can't stand it anymore.
you sure are cold
My favorite thing to say to a narcissist is absolutely nothing 😂
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻grey stone always works
I'm finally thoroughly convinced that this is the only way.
Gray rock 🪨 🎸 rocks 😊👍
Me to!
Perfect.
‘The word No” is generally very effective to produce a meltdown!
Oooo they lose their shit
yup
The n word😂
When they hear NO
There eyes poke out 😂😂😂😂
Lol this is the best part thank you 😅😮😮😊😊😊
Their behaviors are so insane, you have to laugh to keep from crying. 🤪😬
💯💯💯this
Yes! Whenever you reach this point it's another level of healing and realization.
Normal boundaries enforced is enough to set them off.
Yeah they've always gotten extremely aggressive around my boundaries increasingly when I won't let them violate them. It sucks because they start acting like a victim and usually get a few people to come along and employ the bandwagon effect. I'm autistic and a little socially inept instinctually so it's incredibly difficult to navigate when people team up against you in a crowd and don't really seem to value or carry about the truth and seem honestly to be actively seeking out tyrannical figures to aid which is perplexing to me. I want to help people do something right not something wrong.
Narcissists use language to impress, NOT to communicate. SPOT ON
This cracked me up, despite the seriousness of the topic, humour is never misplaced.
You say it best...when you say nothing at all 🎶
I LOVE that song!
Killing me softly I like to sing two
Oh Sam - how you make me laugh about my insanely ridiculous relationship frustrations. Thanks for a wonderful summary of a typical day spent with my narcissist.
"MY narcissist"? Why don’t you just leave?
It's not hard to provoke a narcissist 😂 it's effortless as breathing.
They love to be upset. If they don't have a legitimate reason they will invent it.
This is so spot on. I know someone like this she displays every trait of NPD .
It’s an addiction cycle for them.
They wake up in the morning and their first thought is "how am I going to make them pay today" literally hate filled people. Stay away from them....
💯
it's hilarious how he does no want the help but ask for services 😂😂😂
So true! even when you try to help them, or suggest anything they'll reject it and throw you a task that they just distribute.
@MaryMarietteThis is a good description. They also assign jobs and responsibilities to people against their will. They coerce people into doing tasks. They're entitled to everyone's time, energy and money.
Narcissists are very materialistic so you can exploit that. If you can control their toys, you control them.
Wow so true
Very true
Omg! So true! My father left a lot of tools and other valuable things when he died, my STBX got them because he was the only male. When he cheated on me AGAIN, and final reverse discarded me, my mother said for him to give it all to me. OMG!! That made him lose it.
No you dont, they just behave slightly better when you can see them.
Nothing changes behind the scenes....its just costing you more.
@@srfsummers6261 nah, I'm not gonna be nice. Being nice to them should be earned.
"No" is always a boundary
"No" can be a one word sentence
"No" needs to further explanation
"No" is always a "positive" (because you are saying yes to yourself)😎
💯💯💯🏆
I need that on a t shirt and on my wall. We, the survivers tend to forget and still say yes when we should say no.
We need to get rid of this conditioning.
Saying yes comes often like a reflex, saying yes bevore I even think about the favor asked. That's very hard to get rid of it.
Ase ❤
Every time i said " no" , he ignored me. He said " when a woman says no, it means yes".
Sam has the cutest giggle😊
On a serious note, this information is so poignatly truthful.I have experienced the wrath of a wuonded child by disagreeing with him, it is hell like.
The joy in that giggle is genuine.
So true. My narcissistic spouse will fly into a terrifying rage if I, or anyone else, tells him, "No." Or, if we offer to help him. You just can't win. After 30 years, I am done with him.
I’m glad you are free of him now…that is horrifying.
wow what a waste of time so sorry
Hugs, freedom finally, ❤
You go, grrl! I'm sorry it took so long, but I understand. There's life on the other side.
31 yrs here and my divorce will be final July 9. Stay safe and healthy 🙏
Let them hoover you with the grand initial hoover, engage with them briefly and then abruptly disengage from them, and ignore all follow up hoovers, calls and voicemails. Then block them forever. The empowerment is magical 😃
Exactly what I did to my narcissist 😂now she rarely bothers me. Thank GOD
@@kerryfudge8478 excellent 👏
That's one way victims become abusers.
@@thecultofculture5889 spoken like a true narcissist
@@EmmaCroft73 How's that ? I don't fit the criteria at all, you are projecting. And that you have no issue hanging that very serious diagnosis on someone over a very simple and direct comment, says it all about you.
Love your sense of humor in this subject Sam. Thanks for the light you bring.
My ex gf was the narcissist who called me a narcissist who actually introduced me to this man.
😂😂
is she consciously aware that she exhibits a high degree of narcissistic behaviours herself?
lol same here she said I am a narcissist so I looked up what exactly that means and now I see exactly what she is
Or maybe you both have narcissistic traits
I am grateful for my mothers narc meltdowns because it enabled those around me to see her for who she really is and not the act she puts on.
I think they love when you say "I agree with you." If you want to get their goat say "yeah, I know." Say it like they just said something stupid and boring and leave the room, and then watch them follow you all around the house saying "what do mean you know?!" It's awesome.
I shall try this.
😂😂I will have to try this one next time!!
Why not just being a healthy relationship
@@paulettelamontagne6992 Ideally... duh. If you are so smart, and in a healthy relationship why are you here, Paulette?
@@QuiteContrary14 I'm here because I raised my grandson from the time I cut his cord until he was 6 years old then his malignant covert narcissistic father got out of prison he went when my daughter was 4 months pregnant. She refused to parents and was neglectful so I took custody when he was 3 months old and threw her out of my house I believe she's an over narcissist she's look at me look at me look at me and I blame myself because she's my only child and I spoiled her doted on her and was a helicopter mom she took off to Vegas to do girls gone wild videos and strip. So after a lengthy Court battle with the covert father and a lot of money after a year and a half he ended up with sole custody. 7 months into visits I saw welts and cuts on my grandson's rear end I called the police who did not show DCF the pictures left them on an Evidence disc and spoke to my grandson in front of a convict that has F the police tattooed on his back. Nothing was done except for he cut me off and I haven't seen my grandson in 4 years and I cry everyday. So I'm trying to figure out his mind how I could do this to his kid. The last time I see my grandson is at CVS Pharmacy when he was hanging out the window screaming my man and my nana. POS said shut the f up and roll up the window. I didn't know about this disorder really so me I printed up all kinds of his pornographic pictures from his website I sent him to his father the church is employer I called his PO I took pictures of him smoking blunts they've done nothing to this dude I haven't seen my grandbaby in 4 years and he lives 10 minutes from me put 100 sign out on his birthday that I hand painted I beg and plead with this guy kiss his ass and he just does not care so I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to make him forgive me for something I never did wrong I wasn't trying to be mean or critical I just don't understand being in a romantic relationship with a human like this God bless you
Also...this incredible speaker has me constantly smiling...if not laughing out loud...because I'm pretting much surrounded by narcissists and they are truly how they are depicted here. But once you understand how they tick it gets much easier to stand them. The ones who aren't family of course have got kicked out of my life.
Amazing to hear this insight. I had NO idea why some people reacted so aversely to normal interaction. It’s actually quite funny!
I was working with one I think. She was the Queen. She could only be the one to make decisions in the office. She was a coworker not a boss but could not see it that way. Unfortunately the employers were not helpful in dealing with her tantrums so I asked to make the schedule out so I would never work with her again. They did and now I’m in peace.
You agree with them, causes injury. You disagree, causes injury
😂I said this to my covert narcissist to make her feel self mirroring
I am exact like you I feel empathy , pain , love for others.
I used to be so intimidated and afraid of his egregious reactions now, years later, I look at invoking his tantrums as a game. I especially love the silent treatment so I don’t have to hear his bloody mouth for a bit, nor cook, do anything for him it’s brilliant 😂🤣😂🤣🏆
They are dys regulated
Honestly if you're in a relationship with this person it might be best to seperate and focus your efforts towards someone else. If you've gotten to the point where you provoke your abusive partner into tantrums for amusement. He's making you abusive as well even if he treats you horribly as well. He's having a psychological effect on you, it's good that you're standing up for yourself though.
Dr. Gaining. You made me laugh so hard! I love your sense of humor.
*Vaknin. Dr. Vaknin
They want you to jump through a window screaming pulling your hair out and running down the street like you're on fire 🔥 that's what they want😂 unspeakable joy knowing
Spread the truth they loose it!!!
…do you know my sister?
….everything you said ; fit’s perfectly….!!!
Thanks! Prof, I am laughing seriously!
One of the best videos on understanding the narcissist i have seen to date. ! I thoroughly enjoyed your lecture and your tone od presentation. After listening to countless discussions on this topic, you are a trusted resource of facts for me.
😂😂😂😂😂 a person could watch just this video and have an excellent synapsis of what is happening inside the mind of the narcissist. I never understood why innocuous things I said caused a tantrum not unlike a Cat 5 hurricane.
If you're overwhelmed, I can come help you. Boom
Yeah, I know. I read an article recently that said what you just said. In addition, did you know....(expounding on what he said)? Boom
If you are experiencing these kind of things in your relationship, get out NOW. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Fortunately for me , my legs are growing back .
Sam, I love your laugh!
I like your laugh 😊
Just say "No!" 😅
@@ginnyrigg9288literally, just say no. Shows you have no experience 😅
@@therearenoruleshere saying no will result in them getting pissed, yes. And they will take ir on... the person who said no. Thats what he meant. Saying no doesnt work if you have narc family members, only on strangers on the street
@@deadwolf3607 you dont understand the meaning in telling them no. It’s not to poke them, they know that, but don’t want you to know. Look at in a way of setting boundaries and sticking to them. Or continuing goals you’ve set for yourself and not stopping to complete those goals after you’re done with the narc. I was literally married to one, I know what I’m talking about 🤭
@@therearenoruleshere and I was a child of one. You had the law behind you, the narc knows this. Thats what causes the diference in threatment, or so I think
Yessss, say NO.
I said NO to my narc-mother. Since 14 years i live in peace without her.
Yessss, I said NO
Another brilliant words 👏..i am so bored of not talking to narcist for long time may be for some fun i will try all u said ..i may say " let me show how to do it " or " i think u need help "
It’s been my experience that all you have to do to touch off an off-the-scale reaction from a narcissist is to tell the truth. However, don’t be surprised if you become a target, an exile &, a “bad object.” It took me awhile to realize that if I was going to open my mouth & let the truth fly out, I’d have to get used to the blowback.
Dr Sam Vaikin ~ As usual at his Best... Thanks Dr 👍
I don't want anything from the narcissist ....except for him to leave...lol... I promise I will worship the ground he walks away from...
This is so so so true 💯 Thank You for bringing awareness to this matter 🙏🏻✨
Such a brilliant scientist
This is so very, very SPOT ON. 👌💪
Well, I was making him angry all that time for agreeing with him. This is very satisfying!
OMG.... I said it all 🤭..aaaaannnd.😱..Got discarded.😂😂😂.. Thank you God🙏🙏🙏
This explains so many rages by my ex! I had the audacity to be honest lol.
😂 same
Thank You, explained so throughly, lol u bring humor to a serious subject!
It is not a good idea to provoke them, you get it back in buckets 😂
You need to be super ignorant with zero life experience to genuinely believe that you are the best, you know the best!
That’s the part I don’t get.
As for my own experience, I proved my narcissist wrong in everyway possible but it seemed like the proofs made him lose his mind even more, he started hallucinating and his speech changed, his whole personality changed but in a bad way. He withdrew inside more which is a good thing for society. I would love Dr. Sam to talk about this phenomena of a narcissist starting hallucinating and withdraw from society after him being proven wrong and humiliated.
Search the channel for "mortification".
“Eternal enemy in the shape of the narcissist “ 😂 I have two!
Or 3
Things that caused my narcissist ex to explode with anger:
1. I ordered coffee and donuts for us to his house.
2. He thought I deleted a text in our chat when I didn't.
3. I didn't respond to him for a few hours while I was eating and going to a movie with my sister and daughter.
4. I ignored him after he called me a bitch.
5. I ignored him after he screamed at me 1 inch from my face because I wore a shirt that he said was too revealing. (He bought me the shirt btw)
6. His mom paid for dinner and I should have been more aggressive in grabbing the check
7. I didn't respond to him while I was at work
And many more...
If I ask my narc fake spouse to please keep it around the speed limit (70 mph instead of 90 mph) when my one year-old grandson is riding with us, he becomes enraged and drives 95, or he slows down to 45. He NEVER asks me to do anything for him because he expects me to KNOW what he's thinking and what he needs. One time this sap said to ME, "I'm going to get Mike from work to come and talk to you! He will put you in your place." 😂😂😂 Does he sound llike a true narc?
Mine parked illegally, then asked me to sit in the driving seat while went shopping. I refused. He didn't like it.
No.
A complete sentence.
That is all.❤
YES, Let's do this.
Prof Sam I❤your mini maniacal laugh. I believe being able to laugh at oneself is the first sign of sanity😂
This is great advice and I’m going to try your phrases on my narcissistic mother! Wrote them all down. Thank you professor. Btw love your laugh it’s contagious ❤️😂✌️😊👍
be sure to pat her hand and smile blandly and nod like a sympathetic mother to an incorrigible toddler while doing so.
I love your laugh!😂 Uhhh, so let me get this straight; probably best not to deliberately provoke the narcissist. The intelligent strategy is to quietly walk away. 😊
This is the funniest truths about the narcissist. Wish that I had seen this video 3 or 4 years ago while I was still married to my ex-husband.
What's his name Ronald Allan Lafond
@@christinabarkley2669 No, his name was Doug. I was married for 20 years.
He was a religious extremist..."I have the truth". I laughed straight out in front of the kids. It was all coming to a end....
No wonder I annoyed him so much, I did almost all these.
Wow! That klickt a light on.. Thank you.
Curious if ya’ll see this as a “reactive abuse “ expression?
At times when a partner is so deflated by a narcs persistent projected provocations, they may respond with a deep well of emotion that may look like some of Sam’s descriptions here. The NPD may stand over the partner with an internal smile saying “see you’re the narc, the crazy person” and dismiss their every word in order to stay in control.
... I had to laugh a lot - but actually it's sad. But permanent silence is not a solution....
Thank you Sam - greetings from Germany.
never say 'yeah ok, youre boring me now' 😂
That's a good one.
Don't "mmhmm" them, they'll just keep. Talking. Forever.
Professor Vaknin... You are the best! ❤
You don't have to do anything to provoke them. You can't avoid provoking them, whatever you do or say, you can't win. You become a mute hollowed-out shell of your former self, diminished and broken. All you can do to save yourself is walk away and hide, if you can.
I watch all of your videos...i think this is my favorite 😂
My ex narc was an expert on every subject ever known to man! I’d sit there completely lost for words sometimes listening to his utter rubbish coming out of him!
So sorry I didn't know that. All the fun I missed with his nonsense EVERYTHING you said is soooo true. Just discarded,not angel anymore, I wish I knew it.
7:40 min in. And I did the first two things to the last Narcissist 😂 Now it all makes sense why he hated me with his heart hahaha
Thanks so much, Prof - great lectures xox. Love the humour too!!!🤩
Sadly, if you deliver some truth to a narcissist, you need to be physically superior - otherwise you'll just get the head punched off you as most are quite violent when provoked. Being "physically superior" can be tricky because your average narcissist is quite narcissistic = ergo they spend ages on themselves, which often(usually) includes gym-time. You being busy, may not get time to spend 3 hours a day in the gym... They do as their self is their favorite thing.
Telling a slight-framed male or female how to "provoke" a narc can be very bad advice for them. Chances are it will lead to severe physical abuse. You can bore on about how the narc is insecure or weak inside blah blah - but chances are they're still going to be well able to knock your face in when enraged.
Be Machiavellian when dealing with a narc - driving them into a rage ain't too bright unless you are stronger - which you might not be. Be smarter. They ain't that bright - despite how often they will tell you they are.
The reason why I like this is not necessarily to make the narc made on purpose. I do some of the things not knowing that the narc is getting mad by this and not understanding why I’m getting the anger.
My ex covert always offended or irritated, even with the minimal comment or answer. I did evetything I shouldnt… when I did not know, but after I did it sometimes for fun, and told him 😅 dont start !! They are ridicoulisly funny 😂😂😂
Thank you Prof Vaknin, super Video 🎉
ChatGPT told me not to do this and you go and make a video. BASED Thanks Sam!
Wow that explains so much about my former collegue ... that REALLY caused me learning about narcissism few years ago. And all things considering i can consider myself lucky that after his innitial behavior targeted at ME revealed him quickly. And the 4 free days i spent googling how the hack can someone behave like that ! Foolishy expecting my new collegue is a regular person i commited many points mentioned in the video, including the things such as offering help if needed, actually remembering what happened etc ;-)
This was hysterical. Thanks, Sam; you are THE best. ;)
Your laugh is great😊
Another good one: I know you need my help.
Thank you Dr.Vankin! Love it!!
The introduction of the video is. quite funny!
They also keep track of the "love" they give - the dinners, gifts, trips - and expect you to comply and do as they want/say because of it. They won't tell you that but if there is any form of transgression on their part they have the love-bombing they've done to warrant it. You are merely a character in their lives.
I said to my friend's obnoxious narcissistic mother, (who is 83), 'For God's sake, you're 84'. She very angrily replied 'No I'm not'.
I love your laughs and humor😂
It can be a tragedy if someone has parents with such disorders. It seems ridiculous, but these people will ruin the life of even their own child. In my case, my father became strangely furious when he lost control of something. When everything went too far and I reported the matter to the police, he ridiculed and humiliated me and the fact that I had evidence. He lost control after he found out that his control wasn't working and I took the matter to court (I remember him talking to himself after he received a summons: "me, he's taking me to court with his stupid evidence." They truly consider themselves Gods). The guy started destroying his property in the house, claiming that it was me who did it, ... even the police were amazed what this man was doing and saying. These people cannot accept facts and manipulate their surroundings to draw others into their imaginary world.
Yeah my mom made me loose a full ride scholarship. Long story
These people are dangerous. Dont poke the beast. If you know what they are....get away from them.
I love your laugh, Sam-contagious😂
You sir are a genius 👏 🙌 time to have some fun..♡..
Dr Vaknin rocks my box
Thank u, Sam❤
I exposed him SOCIALLY on his circle of acquaintances. I'm sure no one really believe what I said... but at least there's DOUBT now... next time he might not be so lucky
This is the best video of u prof.Sam that best described my ex..
It feels like u are descibing him😂🤣..
That's it. I am an narcissistic person
Phrase like " Are you sure?", piss me off especially when coming from my husband 😂😂
How about a person who has to turn off the volume of the navigation in the car, because they can't stand "someone", anyone, telling them where to turn. And getting furious when they miss the turn und you point out it wouldn't happen if the volume was on. Thank you, sam vaknin for your profound knowledge about this condition you are willing to share.
She NEEDED what I was using, said she bought it and wants to use it now, had other stuff like it to use, i gave it to her and I said ME ME ME ME ME ME ME, she totally lost it, even heard some of THEM words, it was fun, I now know who she is.
In other words, just don't do it. Don't engage. Don't try--its impossible.
Let them live that dull ridiculous existence. Gosh they are so mind numbingly boring. Get on with having fun and stuff.
Very interesting. Curious, how would a narcissist react or respond if these statements or questions were posed to them by a psychopath?
I remember you saying that if a psychopath walked into a room where a narcissist was present, the narcissist would immediately recognize
the psychopath as such and dutifully take his place in the hierarchy of personalities - which for the narcissist is subservience?