Overcoming Toxic Guilt & Shame with CBT Techniques
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
- In this video, Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes is going to be teaching you how to use CBT methods to transform toxic guilt and shame. These methods can be extremely effective in helping you to overcome these emotions and regain control over your life.
CBT is one of the most popular forms of mental health counseling and it has proven to be very effective in helping people to overcome difficulties. In this video, I'm going to teach you a few CBT methods that can help you to transform toxic guilt and shame. After watching this video, you'll be able to use CBT to overcome your toxic guilt and shame and regain control over your life!
#toxicguilt #shame #CBT
Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com
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Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.
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Chapters:
00:00:00 - Toxic Guilt and Shame
00:01:52 - Learning from Mistakes and Letting Go of Guilt
00:03:34 - Toxic Guilt and Shame
00:05:21 - Overcoming Toxic Guilt
00:07:10 - Moving toward a rich and meaningful life
00:08:51 - Causes and Effects of Toxic Guilt
00:10:34 - Letting go of guilt and responsibility
00:12:10 - Embracing Imperfection and Letting Go of Guilt
00:13:54 - Toxic Guilt for Self-Care
00:15:31 - The Importance of Recharging Your Brain
00:17:09 - Overcoming Toxic Guilt
00:18:40 - Acceptance and Taking Control
00:20:15 - Accepting what you cannot change
00:21:54 - Taking Responsibility for Your Reactions
00:23:30 - Moving On and Letting Go
00:25:14 - Overcoming the Feeling of Overwhelm
00:26:54 - Loving Imperfection
00:28:24 - The Importance of Self-Care and Setting Boundaries
00:30:06 - The Importance of Taking Time Off
00:31:46 - Evaluating Shoulds in Life
00:33:23 - The Importance of Healthy Guilt and Boundaries
00:35:01 - Dealing with Guilt and Manipulation
00:36:37 - Distinguishing between Guilt and Toxic Guilt
00:38:21 - Overcoming Toxic Guilt
👌More videos can be found on this topic at
ruclips.net/p/PLcB3trehXswixguCFghoZrQy3Y2KxKeEX&si=b2VuUfUL86f-R94u
❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com
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Oh gosh... This all hits home. I am paralyzed from all so much toxic guilt and shame. Thank you.
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching and am grateful to be of help. If you’re interested in videos on toxic guilt, you can find them at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=guilt
thank you for making this video. I’ve dealing with toxic guilt for a while and this has helped me to be more at peace
You’re most welcome. I am grateful to of of service and I appreciate you watching the video
I had last seven months met a very toxic boss. He was repeatedly reprimanded when I ordered extra cheese boss was bullying and discriminating against me, and then he said I should be guilty, he was playing for employees mentally abused,
I said sorry but if I didn't do wrong I could not deserve it I should have quit my job yesterday,
He is very bad at bullying and toxic narcissistic. OMG.
I need to be strong healthy mentally and be found myself,
Thank you so much it is the right time to watch your RUclips channel
I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching the video
Excellent comment for this topic! On target here!
This is what CBT does not understand - that real life situations is where predators are actively abusive to us. It is not that they have reactions which we can simply ignore - abusive predators actually have power to make us homeless.
That is what ableist CBT refuses to acknowledge as fact of life.
With that being said,,
with Quiet BPD we will tend to interpret jerks and a$$holes as narcissists.
Plus we will tend to believe due to splitting that we only have 2 options how to handle "narcissistic" bosses:
1) that we go into rage mode and quit
or
2) that we stay quiet and fawn and feel panic and guilt and endure it each working day and on weekends worrying and ruminating about past and potential future abuse.
In reality -
this person actually may not be narcissistic.
In this case - he may have tough economic issues and he tries to save up money for business so that he is not forced to fire you.
OR he might be addicted to cocaine so any cent is important for him to keep his addictions.
He might have mistresses that he pays their apartment and STD clinics so he needs every cent to pay for someone's AIDS which he spread around.
What I want to say here - is that he might have totally valid reasons (from his own needs) why he is cheapskate which actually validate his hysteria.
With Splitting we will tend to 1) feel guilty for someone being angry and 2) we will try to fix and solve someone's anger in order not to be punished.
So we will believe we will be punished if we speak back our opinion and thoughts.
This is what CBT does not understand - that we have issues how to deal and handle difficult people due to toxic shame and toxic guilt.
CBT will tell us to practice Assertiveness - but in real life narcissists use our reactions to make fun of us and to use our reactions as weapon to accuse us as abusers ourselves and that we are abnormal ones.
CBT does not explain narcissistic abuse nor that with BPD which is nothing else but Complex Trauma - that we will tend to see everyone as narcissists and dangerous.
That belief needs to be challenged.
Not all people are absolute narcissists described in DSM.
Some people actually act as narcissists but they are not.
Some people have narc traits but they have competencies to evaluate when they are over board.
So this information will help us to actually start to Negotiate with people - which I prefer as word better than being "assertive".
For example,
in situation you have described - I would say something. I would say I wanted to promote our firm.
OR Ok I will watch out, I cannot read your mind and you can tell it in more polite way.
The mentality is here to have Sinead O'Connor protest mentality. If she tear Pope's picture in conservative 1990s on national American TV - then we can do the same thing with people who are annoying and behaving as narcs.
Sinead O'Connor taught us to expect being punished for expressing our protest - and we need to be aware of this.
Still it is better than living our life in fear of angry people.
I hate CBT and I would ban it, but I would agree one thing with CBT -
and that is - that our beliefs about other people are based on some kind of hallucination. We see people in black and white - and this is called Splitting.
We go around with abuse and trauma (which CBT denies as concept) and we actually we all people through the filter - which we are not aware of.
We believe if some person is talkative- that this person is abusive - because abusers in our life were talkative.
Or if we experienced covert abuse - we will believe that silent people are plotting abuse and that they are dangerous.
In reality - not all people are 100% stereotypical - and this gives us handy set of tools which we never learned in our ACOA ACE childhood. We can actually assume with scientific facts - that not all obnoxious, lout and vulgar people are serial killers who actually will not cut us into pieces if we protest their abhorrent behavior.
Sure most of them will nag or complain, but we can simply reply what we said, and use even some behavior which we suppressed before - such as screaming and yelling at them.
We need to use our common sense - if this abhorrent behavior of what appears as narc abuse is on repeat and happens every day - then it is quite clear that this is mobbing and narcissistic abuse- and even after we warned and alerted them - it is best to consider and plan relocation.
With ACOA we have learned to be silent and that we appear as goody goody and smile like Barbie to everyone so that they do not hate us. Unfortunately - most people will take this reaction as signal to be jerk around us. Paradoxically not because they hate us - but because they ironically feel safe with us that they can dump their frustrations on us.
Thank you Donna as always! 😇♥️🪐
You’re so very welcome. Thank you for watching the video
Yes I made it WooHoo. This is empowering stuff.
:) glad you made it. Thanks for watching
Thanks Doc for helpful vod🌸
You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching
You're such a treasure Dr Snipes! Thank you for this video, toxic shame and guilt can be paralyzing and so upsetting, indeed!
You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching
Why is there no LOVE button on RUclips? "Like" can never do justice to your amazing work.
Thank you. I am grateful for your kind words and I appreciate you watching the video
I love how I think I'm the victim . All the time failing to see my own abuses .
❤
Us
Thank you for watching the video
Often we are brainwashed and gaslighted into believing we are victim by manipulators and covert narcissists around us.
I just fall in love with ur dedication
Thank you for your kind words and for watching the video
Thank you for this.
You’re welcome
Wow, this helps more than I can ever say❤
Glad to read that. Thanks for watching
Thank youvert helpful
You're welcome!
I’ve been missing ALOT of classes lately and I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar type 2. Ive been shaming myself for being lazy, irresponsible and being good for nothing. But I didn’t actually think that it was related to my depression. I’m trying to practise more empathy and self forgiveness. Thanks for the video!
You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching. I am sorry you were diagnosed with Bipolar 2. Please feel free to use my AI to learn more about Bipolar Disorder and to search for videos in the video library: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes
very helpful. thank you
You're welcome!
Thanks!
You’re so welcome! Your donation is greatly appreciated! It plays a vital role in supporting my content creation. Your support goes a long way and truly makes a significant impact. Thank you!
Thank you
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video
I love your power points
I am so glad to read that and I truly appreciate you watching my videos for some time now. I am grateful
@DocSnipes i am grateful for your content. It has helped more than my therapists.
It means a lot that youve noticed how much i have commented.
I love hearing stories about your family and your farm.
Thank you 🥰
You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching
You look amazing.
Thank you. Thanks for watching the video
It's OK not to give 🙂 It's OK to take care of yourself 😊
Thank you for watching my videos. Highly appreciated
I have never had any toxic guilt or shame! Yahoo!!!
That’s great. Thank you for watching the video
Or.. you suppressed them so deep down that you have no awareness that they shape your decisions in life?
I still recall my past and think - I shouldn’t hv done this, it happened cuz I did this-- I am trapped in thoughts
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Please try to be kind to yourself, you did what you could with the tools you had at the time.
Lot of problems related to poor self esteem or overall elf stem from the guilt and shame..very dangerous of not dealth with properly
Yes, you are right. I have a video on increasing self esteem ruclips.net/video/NYJHJz6qS-c/видео.htmlsi=aMpToGl-zO_wzFF2
Don't know who too trust anymore 😢been done shiasty my entire life. My narcissistic father and my toxic family of aunts, uncles, some cousins making me feel like shit. When I cannot trust someone especially if they don't respect my boundaries don't wanna be around them.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
Just because my feelings aren’t their fault doesn’t give them license to keep behaving in a harmful way right?
I’ve been and seen situation where a individual will manipulate and continue undesired behavior and justify it by saying “my feeling isn’t on them”.
Can you address manipulation and control prevention?
That is true. They do not have that right. If they are not willing to respect your boundaries then it is up to you to change your boundaries with them so you feel safe and empowered. You cannot change them, so you will need to change the structure of the relationship.
What about sexual harassment and antisemitism? Having to forgive that behavior of an individual who behaves that way. I don't know if i could accept an apology from someone who continues to treat people like that.
Thank you for watching the video.
I completely understand your hesitation and concerns regarding sexual harassment and antisemitism. It's important for individuals to take responsibility for their actions and demonstrate genuine change if they seek forgiveness and acceptance.
@@DocSnipes thank you for replying I love all your videos they've kind of changed my life. I'm studying psychology as an undergrad and I'm interested in the tools you address in your videos. I do think toxic guilt is a problem that individuals can avoid ruminating over. Your points still apply but trauma makes stuff connected to it harder to digest.
@@AaronAaron-sj1ze Basically we end up in therapy while untreated mentally ill people walk free and end up in managerial seats.
Narcissist Personality Disorder
One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated.
(PierceTheDarkness)
15
I appreciate you watching the video
I know I'm a good person, but I feel like I could be better and wish I could have been better in the past.
Thank you for watching the video. It's commendable that you recognize your desire for personal growth and improvement. Remember that we all have room to grow and learn from our past experiences. Focus on making positive changes in the present and future to become the best version of yourself.
That inability to feel good as person is toxic shame itself.
This self hatred is Quiet BPD and it will shape our decisions in life at our own detriment.
Hi
Hi. Thank you for watching the video
Onion and mayonnaise sandwiches 🥪 lol 😆the tuna fish 🐟 is missing 😋
Thanks for watching:)
25:48
Thanks for watching
? Doc...
Would this include survivors guilt or is that a 'horse of a different color'?
She mentions survivors guilt right at the beginning. She clearly states this is not horse of different color.
@@ranc1977 Thank you.
I'd actually written the question off the title before the video ever came out.
But definitely appreciate your bringing it back up for me.
Been a really digitally overwhelming week and I missed the video coming up so never got the answer until you brought it back up! 😁
Take care!!!
@@EnigmaMan0000 She usually don't involve in comments, so we are left on our devices and actually to help each other, like in a community or group session type of thing.
@@ranc1977 thanks for the heads up. Kinda makes sense. I can only imagine how overwhelming it would be trying to respond to all the comments people make.
And some of them don't deserve a response or acknowledgement.
@@EnigmaMan0000 Many wounded people walk around. They try to function in the best way their past allows them...
You remind me of Bernadette from the Big Bang Theory. Not her temper tho.
Thanks for watching
Thanks for watching
If you're one to be easy hurt, you have some toxic shame going on inside.
Toxic shame: defective and flawed as person which is big fat lie that you've been feeding yourself you come to believe it.
🟥markhutten