Okay so I ended up telling a sort of embarrassing story regarding Twitter and DMing that I didn’t want to say on RUclips but it’s on my patreon patreon.com/drewmonson anyway what’s up did you like the video and also did it scare you and it is so nice outside today I can’t imagine being indoors. I regret the little piece of hair sticking out but he goes away at around minute 12. Close your eyes
At 17 I wrote myself a letter and a list of everything I wanted to have in life by 27. I feel like having that list in the back of my mind helped motivate me to work towards my goals. I am 27 now and I have everything I wanted except I’ve travelled less than I wanted but that is due to covid
I am 18 and want to do the same!!! ive been scared to do so before but drew has inspired me too :-) I think a letter would be a good motivator as well to complete our goals before we open the letter in however many years.
I'm 21 and I want to write a letter for the future me too :) things aren't the best for me right now but there's still a lot I want to accomplish. I hope that everyone in this comment section achieves what they want for their future. We all deserve to be content with ourselves and our lives
As someone who struggles healing my inner child, this made me sob. I think little Drew would treat you with love and compassion and I hope you do the same for him. Parasocial relationships are fucking weird but this genuinely touched my heart so deeply!
I really think the paradoxical relationship with someone who shares so genuinely like drew hits different 😂. It’s as deep as viewing really moving art to me.
Write yourself an email, there’s a website (future me) I like it, you can send it for any day in the future- holidays, birthdays, once a month, once a year etc :)
Rough day at work- sat down to eat my feelings (corn dog) and thought to myself, "a Drew Monson video is what I need right now". I log in, and you posted 8 minutes ago. I could cry!
fellow human with bipolar disorder, im sending you all my love and light. i hope you can find a job that brings stability and balance to your life. may your flowers bloom soon 🤍
This one made me cry. That picture of young Drew, him urging his future self to have fun and "please don't forget these things I like." Then your experience with divorce, which I believe is a huge trauma for kids ... no matter how old they are when it happens, but *especially* if they're young. I've seen it up close with my own children, and it can be heartbreaking and absolutely life changing.
I think a lot of my thoughts are so "strange" that no one else would have them. Each video you surprise me by mentioning the same sort of thoughts. I think there are a lot of us who think the same although each of us feels we are alone. It's comforting to watch your videos. Honestly you describe what I'm feeling better than I can!
i feel the same way like im always taken back a little by like “woah did he just like describe that? like those feelings exist in someone else too?” & then i go to the comments and see like a bagillion more people have that though process and its a very nice :)
My kiddo has been in the pediatric unit for 3 days now and I’ve been watching your videos during the night and it gives me such comfort- you’re awesome Drew, thank you for creating authentic amazing content 💛🙌
He is probably the most authentic and honest RUclipsr on the platform. You can really tell that he doesn't play it up for the camera and he's just there to share his thoughts
I know you said you thought this one of your worst ones, but this was actually one of my favorite videos from this channel. A lot of really relatable emotion in the letter-reading and telling the story of your parents' divorce. Also I loved the song at the end.
This was such a bittersweet video. It’s really touching to reconnect with the child we once were and gaining a perspective of how far we’ve come since then. I read some of my old diaries and wonder about how those experiences made me who I am today. Little Drew would be amazed to know he adopted a 21 year old British boy.
“Too scared to say that my life was that bad but it doesn’t matter.” Yes. I’ve always tried to minimize my childhood trauma in my mind- I think it’s because part of me doesn’t want to feel like a victim But I’ve been through things, and yes some people have had it “worse” but the things we experience impact us profoundly and they are worth recognizing, discovering and healing from
i had never even considered that my childhood was traumatic to me until my therapist said it to me. i knew it had messed me up but since there was no specific terrible event and i wasn’t abused or anything (which my therapist also told me i definitely was emotionally abused lmfao) , i guess i thought i wasn’t “allowed” to be traumatized. i still feel that way a lot honestly
Growing up, I had something called a “forever box,” which contained so many of my childhood diaries, art projects, and random memorabilia. I also included TONS of media. Favorite shows, favorite artists, favorite songs. I’m a ‘97 baby, so it’s interesting to see how the early stages of constant media influenced what we valued - and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. There is honestly something really comforting about having your younger self leave recommendations of things that they know made you happy and that you had the drive to want your future self to access those same happy memories through a semi-permanent artistic medium. I honestly think finding my own box helped me not do the “looking back and hating myself” thing because my past self wanted me to be happy so badly. Just a weird musing! Hope you’re doing well.
i did the exact same thing! interesting how a child could have the foresight to keep something mundane because one day it would mean a lot and connect us to a self we no longer are. almost seems like an uncharacteristically mature train of thought?? i dunno. still very very cool.
Drew I just got discharged from the Mental Hospital(as that unfortunately is where i usually am) and your videos are how i’ve been keeping myself from spiraling, i’ve been watching you for years and it’s so nice to know that when i come back from treatment i’ll be able to have your videos
Starting crying when you opened the letter… growing up is just so freakin weird man. Imagining talking to my 11 year old self and now I’m 25. I don’t feel 25!!!! Lol I feel 16 at heart. It’s just crazy… I don’t know. Love ya drew
My dad always says that physically you'll get older but mentally you'll stay in your early twenties. He's almost 50 and he still doesn't feel 25, so there are definitely lots of people out there who can relate to you!
It seems like a lot of people find solace in these videos which is awesome! Hopefully hearing how you positively impact others doesn’t make you feel pressured to post or perform. Keep doing you and we’ll keep showing up! Peace & love ❤️
"I am not really sure what I want you to do, hopefully you'll be happy with it though" has me in tears. I wish I had something like this to read right now. Anyway, I am always so excited to see your posts. Thank you, Drew!
hey drew, i recently turned 21. this video reminded me that when i was very young, maybe 11-12, I wrote myself a letter to open when I hit 21. i've been avoiding opening it because I feel like once I open it the anticipation and magic will be over. im a very sentimental person so i drive myself crazy over that kinda stuff. you encouraged me to open my letter. im going to find it in the morning and read it. thank you for being a friend :)
Holy S the feeling like everyone's lying (about love) is so refreshing to hear someone else thinks like that. I always think people are lying to me especially about relationship things until I see it with my own eyes
I'm not the whole way through yet, only 23 minutes in, but thank you for talking about your parents. I've been meaning to bring something similar up in therapy for a few weeks. My parents were never really together, they were more friends with benefits type deal, also I recently learned that I'm the product of a manic episode my mom was having. Anyway, I've been wanting to talk about growing up with parents who didn't like each other. Every holiday was a stress, they argued about custody, they complained about each other to me, and some how I was always on the other person's side. I think because I tried to stay neutral and didn't explicitly take one person's side, they would assume I agreed with the other. I think all of this really messed with how I view relationships as well as how I view myself. Blah my head is such a shit show 😅
Yes it is really strange being a product of two people who don't really like each other. You are a bit of both of them so I always felt like each parent hated the bit of me that mirrored the other parent. And yeah all the mediating and playing messenger. Weird spot to be in.
Tim Fletcher has a lot of good content about Complex PTSD (CPTSD) that you might find helpful and relatable. It's both insightful as well as gives ways to heal from childhoods similar to what you've described. Though my parents were unfortunately married and "together" when they shouldn't have been, I relate to a lot of what you said. If you don't know much about CPTSD you'll probably learn a lot on the channel I mentioned bc he discusses the roles we learn to play and even moreso when you have a parent with mental illness (can also relate there- my mom attempted to take her life bc she thought I was siding with my dad. I knew she intentionally did what she did but everyone else thought it was accidental. Nope! Even confirmed it with my mom years later) That stuff truly can mess with your head and how you navigate relationships.
my mom made me write to myself every year 13-18. when i turned 18 i got a folder full of them. It was overwhelming but beautiful. It had lists of all my likes, crushes, favorite youtubers.
love these long talky videos! I also wrote myself a letter in middle school and opened it recently. It had books, movies and tv shows I liked at the time too. You could also see how insecure I was. One part said "is my hair still gross and stringy" :( wish I could give middle school Charlotte a hug
Youre totally right about not realizing something affects you until later on in life, it happened to me too. I had a really rough childhood, and around 15 I became morbidly depressed and I was LITERALLY telling myself "your life is perfect you have no reason to be this broken" but BOYYY, I found out I had PTSD, and I thought my life was perfect because I blocked out almost every traumatizing experience that happened before that. My mom also kept telling me the same, that my life was great and I had no reason to be sad, but she was actually the entire reason me AND my 4 siblings were horribly depressed and anxious. After I ran away, I started learning about all the things my mom hid from me and my siblings from my estranged father, and everytime I get with my dad I end up going "oh shoot THATS why I have abandonment issues." 🤣
When you were reflecting on your parents’ divorce…I felt that. I remember so specifically my parents getting divorced, them telling my brother and me, and the experience of my dad moving out. It’s so strange and specific but rememberable
this came at a perfect time i’m having a panic attack because i’ve convinced myself my water bottle is poisoned with some kind of chemical even though i know it probably isn’t it just smells weird
hey you’re ok!! just give it a good wash with some dish soap and rinse it really well. my water bottle smells sometimes and that just tells me i went too long since the last time i washed it lol
Ooooof when you talked about feeling like love is fake I literally had to pause the video and I was like "WAIT. OH MY GOD. WAIT?!?!" out loud. My parents didn't divorce but they really, really should have, since they're the "yelling every night" type and I somehow didn't even think about how that's impacted my view on love. (To be fair there was a lot going on besides that...) HOO BOY thank you for giving me something to talk about in therapy LOL
thats so cute i used to write to myself too every year when i was 11-15 i wish i kept doing it cause reading it back is always so funny.. but yeah they were also mostly lists of stuff i liked at the time😭
Okay wait - thank you for talking about being scared of high school kids. It is so weird because even though now I feel my best mentally (still not perfect but way better than past me) I would think I wouldn’t feel that way anymore. But last week I ran into a mall to return something and I forgot that kids were off from school that week and i’m seeing all the teens walking around scared me. It gave me so much anxiety which is insane - because why? Why should I care about what someone 15 years younger than me thinks of me? Why is that? I wish I didn’t care. I wish I grew out of that but I guess it just shows how traumatic that time of life is/was.
your my comfort youtuber if you like that title?? i feel like youtuber kind of sounds dehumanizing when i say it, like your just an internet person but your a cool person ty for posting drew
something that gives me weird internet anxiety is knowing you can see analytics and i wonder if you can see i’m binging your videos at a certain time every night😭😭😭
It was nice of little you not to put too many expectations on yourself. I had one of these letters and cried because of what a disappointment I would be to little me 😂😭 My family also regularly drove 3 hours to an outlet mall in a different state. Top-notch video king 👏
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way about tv shows. I work my way to a series finale when I know it’s coming out cuz I know I’m going to cry lol I did that with Brooklyn 99, Supernatural, and I’m doing it rn with the walking dead because these shows are my only comfort in life.
Drew, about the part when you talked about things that happen in your life but they’re not “catastrophic”, you’re 100% right and I know exactly how you feel. I grew up with bad parental/love role models and although it doesn’t like kill you, it makes you look at the world differently. It makes you pessimistic and skeptical because you think, wait..if my parents were lying about their love, is everyone else to? Is this what we’re supposed to do? I agree it’s very confusing!! Small things dueling childhood/adolescence really does shape who you are. Just wanted to share, because I’m glad I found someone else that thinks the same way I have about this topic. Ok thanks Have a nice day 🙂 lol
people seriously underestimate how observant children are. for you at your big age to be able to say the way my parents acted around each other still affects how i view love proves that staying together “for the kids” never works the kids can tell. my parents got divorced when i was 4 and i said id rather have 2 happy houses than 1 sad house
i just wanna say i cried a lot to this one and I don't think I can put into words exactly what these videos do for me but i'm really glad i get to watch them cause they are the best parts of a lot of my days and especially ur good self-talk has helped me SO much get through my own c-ptsd and anyways, thank you for making them. ur vulnerability means something at least to me!
this vid actually made me write a two page letter to myself!!! i’m opening it in 6 years though because im impatient now and in the future. also you feel like a friend
I resonate so much with the stress of watching a series finale, i just get so nervous especially if it's one of my favorite shows. I mostly get so nervous every time i tell myself maybe i should watch the finale and end up thinking what if it's bad or what if it's amazing and it'll just make me miss the show so i don't do it and end up watching it 3 months later or even longer. I feel like that's toxic and doesn't help me getting over anxiety but i guess i'm just that kind of person and that's fine it's just tv right? It doesn't define me
Cptsd is caused by layers and layers of ' "Little things" like you said. The constant fear that its not bad enough for the reaction is awful to deal with
feeling like you didn’t go through enough to receive help/vent is so real. like ive went through objectively traumatizing things and i still feel that way. i think that’s it also important to acknowledge your child brain and be nice to it too lol! like you said maybe a divorce isn’t this big boom, but to you as a child, it left you with negative thought patterns that shaped your future experiences. completely valid! hearing you talk so candidly about your mental health is so comforting and refreshing. thank you for sharing 💗
I too grew up in the pressing your ear up to the door to try to get understanding of the quiet chaos of your family who won’t explain stuff environment It might not be the worst possible trauma but it absolutely is trauma and affected my personality/attachment style ❤️
In trauma therapy they explain that there are big T’s and little T’s which are big traumas a little traumas and sometimes the little traumas can pile up and still have a big impact. Everyone’s trauma is valid.
i hate my somewhat better than average memory because i have a letter that is almost 10 years old that i’m not supposed to open until next year but i still remember what i wrote in it so it wouldn’t be a surprise
i’m already 22 but i think i’m gonna write one of these to open when i’m 30. i imagine my life will be completely different by then so it will be pretty trippy to read.
oh man so many things about the bit about your parents hit home. my parents are still together and they don't really show affection, so i am really terrible in relationships. My dad was very affectionate to us as kids, but I found it smothering, my brother didn't though and it seems like he is better in relationships. Also the thing about hiding things- my family doesn't talk about stuff and I always have that feeling you mentioned- I can tell you're hiding something so just tell me god damn it! Anyway. I feel you.
Wow that’s so great you have that letter. I can’t imagine having something like that written to me future. It would be emotional. Hope you are doing good!! Thank you Drew!💜💜
You have no idea how much I enjoyed this video, once again I relate to you so much. I wish I had written myself a letter as a kid. Thank you for sharing Drew ❤️
This video was incredibly relatable and therapeutic to watch. Thank you Drew for real for sharing so we can go through these all little journeys and introspections and realizations along with you
i just got home from school (my first day back after a week of spring break). im exhausted and i wanted to do nothing but sleep and school was difficult. i was very upset about having to go to school again tomorrow. your videos always find a way to calm me and make me feel better about anything im going through, if i make a list of things that make me happy you’ll be on it.
your videos always make me feel less lonely, like im on facetime with a friend :-) also feeling inspired to write myself a letter to open in a few years now
You have no idea how much 20:47 - 21:02 just helped me unlock answers to something I've been trying to heal within myself for the past few years and especially the past 2 months. Thank you.
Okay so I ended up telling a sort of embarrassing story regarding Twitter and DMing that I didn’t want to say on RUclips but it’s on my patreon patreon.com/drewmonson anyway what’s up did you like the video and also did it scare you and it is so nice outside today I can’t imagine being indoors.
I regret the little piece of hair sticking out but he goes away at around minute 12. Close your eyes
i really love your background decorations
thnx for the content, Rude Monson
He goes away lmao
@@annabellabader the first dollar is so cute!!
I forgive you because you have a nice hat on
drew being disappointed in the letter he WROTE HIMSELF is sending me wtf💀💀
drew i am 15 and this inspired me to write my own letter to myself in the future and put it in a cute little envelope
At 17 I wrote myself a letter and a list of everything I wanted to have in life by 27. I feel like having that list in the back of my mind helped motivate me to work towards my goals. I am 27 now and I have everything I wanted except I’ve travelled less than I wanted but that is due to covid
I am 18 and want to do the same!!! ive been scared to do so before but drew has inspired me too :-) I think a letter would be a good motivator as well to complete our goals before we open the letter in however many years.
I'm 21 and I want to write a letter for the future me too :) things aren't the best for me right now but there's still a lot I want to accomplish.
I hope that everyone in this comment section achieves what they want for their future. We all deserve to be content with ourselves and our lives
I’m not one to say this much, but thank god you posted. I really needed something like this today. I am feeling really misunderstood and lonely today.
hope you feel better soon. ive been feeling that way recently too so i know how sucky it is :(
Thanks! I cried a few tears when I saw this posted. Then within a few minutes, I was laughing and the isolated ominous feeling lifted a lot.
Hi friend. Feeling the same way today but hopefully the company brings comfort ❤️
me too
you & me both girl 😅
As someone who struggles healing my inner child, this made me sob. I think little Drew would treat you with love and compassion and I hope you do the same for him. Parasocial relationships are fucking weird but this genuinely touched my heart so deeply!
I really think the paradoxical relationship with someone who shares so genuinely like drew hits different 😂. It’s as deep as viewing really moving art to me.
*parasocial lol
I like the spelling of ur name
My boyfriend overhears me watching your videos & I can always hear him giggling at your jokes LOL
this comment makes me so happy for some reason
you’re making me want to write a letter to myself rn and open it in 10 years but i cant be responsible for keeping track of that
Write yourself an email, there’s a website (future me) I like it, you can send it for any day in the future- holidays, birthdays, once a month, once a year etc :)
@@caitlinprichett2091 thank u i’m doing this !!!
Drew I named my tortoise Little British Boy
Rough day at work- sat down to eat my feelings (corn dog) and thought to myself, "a Drew Monson video is what I need right now". I log in, and you posted 8 minutes ago. I could cry!
I hope your corn dog was delicious
corn dogs are a SUPREME choice for feelings-eating. hope you enjoyed 🥰
I am so happy to hear that you are crying! (corn dog)
(corn dog)
"Feelings (corn dog)" is fucking sending me
I have severe bipolar & am gonna quit my shitty job tomorrow and drew ur always a beautiful constant in my life! Thank you!
Good for you I hope you find a job that's fulfilling for you
fellow human with bipolar disorder, im sending you all my love and light. i hope you can find a job that brings stability and balance to your life. may your flowers bloom soon 🤍
Good luck! Do something that makes you happy 🙂
stability is possible! u got this (from a bipolar type 1)
yooo i was planning on quitting my shitty job tomorrow too!!
This one made me cry. That picture of young Drew, him urging his future self to have fun and "please don't forget these things I like." Then your experience with divorce, which I believe is a huge trauma for kids ... no matter how old they are when it happens, but *especially* if they're young. I've seen it up close with my own children, and it can be heartbreaking and absolutely life changing.
I think a lot of my thoughts are so "strange" that no one else would have them. Each video you surprise me by mentioning the same sort of thoughts. I think there are a lot of us who think the same although each of us feels we are alone. It's comforting to watch your videos. Honestly you describe what I'm feeling better than I can!
Love this comment. Perfectly said.
i feel the same way and it amazes me it took so long to find his videos bc they speak to me so deeply?????
Same!!!!
i feel the same way like im always taken back a little by like “woah did he just like describe that? like those feelings exist in someone else too?” & then i go to the comments and see like a bagillion more people have that though process and its a very nice :)
My kiddo has been in the pediatric unit for 3 days now and I’ve been watching your videos during the night and it gives me such comfort- you’re awesome Drew, thank you for creating authentic amazing content 💛🙌
Hope you and your kid are doing okay♥️
🥹
I LOVE HOW DREW HAS SO MANY MAMAS WATCHING HIM LOL YALL R THE BEST
much love to you and kiddo. thank you for your kindness
I hope your little one gets well soon and everything is ok ❤️ Take care
I LOVE YOU RUDE MONSON
Everytime I watch Drew, I feel like I'm having a conversation with him. And I like it.
He is probably the most authentic and honest RUclipsr on the platform. You can really tell that he doesn't play it up for the camera and he's just there to share his thoughts
I know you said you thought this one of your worst ones, but this was actually one of my favorite videos from this channel. A lot of really relatable emotion in the letter-reading and telling the story of your parents' divorce. Also I loved the song at the end.
This was such a bittersweet video. It’s really touching to reconnect with the child we once were and gaining a perspective of how far we’ve come since then. I read some of my old diaries and wonder about how those experiences made me who I am today. Little Drew would be amazed to know he adopted a 21 year old British boy.
“Too scared to say that my life was that bad but it doesn’t matter.” Yes.
I’ve always tried to minimize my childhood trauma in my mind- I think it’s because part of me doesn’t want to feel like a victim
But I’ve been through things, and yes some people have had it “worse” but the things we experience impact us profoundly and they are worth recognizing, discovering and healing from
i had never even considered that my childhood was traumatic to me until my therapist said it to me. i knew it had messed me up but since there was no specific terrible event and i wasn’t abused or anything (which my therapist also told me i definitely was emotionally abused lmfao) , i guess i thought i wasn’t “allowed” to be traumatized. i still feel that way a lot honestly
Oh I know this is gonna be exactly what I need right now!
Very much needed drew hangout 😌
was it? be real
@@drewmonson2 i know it’s what i needed!! Thank you drew
@@drewmonson2 sure mr rude monson
Random fact but I stock up on your videos and watch like 6 of them in a row to listen to while I paint 3D models so I don’t feel alone
Growing up, I had something called a “forever box,” which contained so many of my childhood diaries, art projects, and random memorabilia. I also included TONS of media. Favorite shows, favorite artists, favorite songs. I’m a ‘97 baby, so it’s interesting to see how the early stages of constant media influenced what we valued - and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. There is honestly something really comforting about having your younger self leave recommendations of things that they know made you happy and that you had the drive to want your future self to access those same happy memories through a semi-permanent artistic medium. I honestly think finding my own box helped me not do the “looking back and hating myself” thing because my past self wanted me to be happy so badly. Just a weird musing! Hope you’re doing well.
this is so cute and smart
That’s called a time capsule to most of the English-speaking world. They’ve been done for centuries.
i did the exact same thing! interesting how a child could have the foresight to keep something mundane because one day it would mean a lot and connect us to a self we no longer are. almost seems like an uncharacteristically mature train of thought?? i dunno. still very very cool.
Drew I just got discharged from the Mental Hospital(as that unfortunately is where i usually am) and your videos are how i’ve been keeping myself from spiraling, i’ve been watching you for years and it’s so nice to know that when i come back from treatment i’ll be able to have your videos
I hope its going okay now. thank you so much, also can I have some coffee?
@@drewmonson2 I’ll put on a pot
@@jsnenenebe thanks babe we love you ❤️
Starting crying when you opened the letter… growing up is just so freakin weird man. Imagining talking to my 11 year old self and now I’m 25. I don’t feel 25!!!! Lol I feel 16 at heart. It’s just crazy… I don’t know. Love ya drew
My dad always says that physically you'll get older but mentally you'll stay in your early twenties. He's almost 50 and he still doesn't feel 25, so there are definitely lots of people out there who can relate to you!
It seems like a lot of people find solace in these videos which is awesome! Hopefully hearing how you positively impact others doesn’t make you feel pressured to post or perform. Keep doing you and we’ll keep showing up! Peace & love ❤️
For real these are my safe space
"I am not really sure what I want you to do, hopefully you'll be happy with it though" has me in tears. I wish I had something like this to read right now. Anyway, I am always so excited to see your posts. Thank you, Drew!
hey drew, i recently turned 21. this video reminded me that when i was very young, maybe 11-12, I wrote myself a letter to open when I hit 21. i've been avoiding opening it because I feel like once I open it the anticipation and magic will be over. im a very sentimental person so i drive myself crazy over that kinda stuff. you encouraged me to open my letter. im going to find it in the morning and read it. thank you for being a friend :)
Holy S the feeling like everyone's lying (about love) is so refreshing to hear someone else thinks like that. I always think people are lying to me especially about relationship things until I see it with my own eyes
Wow big child of divorce feels in this one. Trauma does weird things to the brain, but it’s comforting to know we’re all in this together.
I'm not the whole way through yet, only 23 minutes in, but thank you for talking about your parents. I've been meaning to bring something similar up in therapy for a few weeks. My parents were never really together, they were more friends with benefits type deal, also I recently learned that I'm the product of a manic episode my mom was having. Anyway, I've been wanting to talk about growing up with parents who didn't like each other. Every holiday was a stress, they argued about custody, they complained about each other to me, and some how I was always on the other person's side. I think because I tried to stay neutral and didn't explicitly take one person's side, they would assume I agreed with the other. I think all of this really messed with how I view relationships as well as how I view myself.
Blah my head is such a shit show 😅
Yes it is really strange being a product of two people who don't really like each other. You are a bit of both of them so I always felt like each parent hated the bit of me that mirrored the other parent. And yeah all the mediating and playing messenger. Weird spot to be in.
I totally relate
Tim Fletcher has a lot of good content about Complex PTSD (CPTSD) that you might find helpful and relatable. It's both insightful as well as gives ways to heal from childhoods similar to what you've described. Though my parents were unfortunately married and "together" when they shouldn't have been, I relate to a lot of what you said. If you don't know much about CPTSD you'll probably learn a lot on the channel I mentioned bc he discusses the roles we learn to play and even moreso when you have a parent with mental illness (can also relate there- my mom attempted to take her life bc she thought I was siding with my dad. I knew she intentionally did what she did but everyone else thought it was accidental. Nope! Even confirmed it with my mom years later)
That stuff truly can mess with your head and how you navigate relationships.
admitting your parents are toxic is really hard especially if they don't realise how much it impacts their child
Write another one for yourself in another 10 years 😁
hi this video was so funny
Lol I just posted it 30 seconds ago but. Thanks I agree
This made me tear up???? The passage of time??? Love it
my mom made me write to myself every year 13-18. when i turned 18 i got a folder full of them. It was overwhelming but beautiful. It had lists of all my likes, crushes, favorite youtubers.
13:10 The alfredo sauce comment already cracked me up but "😀... that's a joke 😕 my uncle doesn't have a car" really got me
love these long talky videos! I also wrote myself a letter in middle school and opened it recently. It had books, movies and tv shows I liked at the time too. You could also see how insecure I was. One part said "is my hair still gross and stringy" :( wish I could give middle school Charlotte a hug
“TV a lot of times has given me all that I need.”
As someone raised by a television more than my parents ever interacted with me, I felt that.
Youre totally right about not realizing something affects you until later on in life, it happened to me too. I had a really rough childhood, and around 15 I became morbidly depressed and I was LITERALLY telling myself "your life is perfect you have no reason to be this broken" but BOYYY, I found out I had PTSD, and I thought my life was perfect because I blocked out almost every traumatizing experience that happened before that. My mom also kept telling me the same, that my life was great and I had no reason to be sad, but she was actually the entire reason me AND my 4 siblings were horribly depressed and anxious. After I ran away, I started learning about all the things my mom hid from me and my siblings from my estranged father, and everytime I get with my dad I end up going "oh shoot THATS why I have abandonment issues." 🤣
Cancers are emotional and nostalgic beings! I have a cancer moon and I am extremely emotional soooo
When you were reflecting on your parents’ divorce…I felt that. I remember so specifically my parents getting divorced, them telling my brother and me, and the experience of my dad moving out. It’s so strange and specific but rememberable
“I don’t regret hanging in there at all”, thank you Drew❤️❤️❤️❤️ that’s something I, and I’m sure a lot of other people needed to hear.
How did you maintain the will power not to open it the second you received it? Opening letters is one of the top 10 best moments for me
opening letters is my least favorite activity
@@drewmonson2 I can respect that, thanks for answering my burning question 🙏🏻
This is so pure I am crying 🥺
Awe little drew loving RUclips and then becoming a youtuber . Very sweet
this came at a perfect time i’m having a panic attack because i’ve convinced myself my water bottle is poisoned with some kind of chemical even though i know it probably isn’t it just smells weird
okay
when my anxiety is bad i get scared of tap water
That just happened to me I poured it out
hey you’re ok!! just give it a good wash with some dish soap and rinse it really well. my water bottle smells sometimes and that just tells me i went too long since the last time i washed it lol
@@krapulanta okay
Ooooof when you talked about feeling like love is fake I literally had to pause the video and I was like "WAIT. OH MY GOD. WAIT?!?!" out loud.
My parents didn't divorce but they really, really should have, since they're the "yelling every night" type and I somehow didn't even think about how that's impacted my view on love. (To be fair there was a lot going on besides that...) HOO BOY thank you for giving me something to talk about in therapy LOL
thats so cute i used to write to myself too every year when i was 11-15 i wish i kept doing it cause reading it back is always so funny.. but yeah they were also mostly lists of stuff i liked at the time😭
"i dont regret hanging in there" ok currently sobbing
Okay wait - thank you for talking about being scared of high school kids. It is so weird because even though now I feel my best mentally (still not perfect but way better than past me) I would think I wouldn’t feel that way anymore. But last week I ran into a mall to return something and I forgot that kids were off from school that week and i’m seeing all the teens walking around scared me. It gave me so much anxiety which is insane - because why? Why should I care about what someone 15 years younger than me thinks of me? Why is that? I wish I didn’t care. I wish I grew out of that but I guess it just shows how traumatic that time of life is/was.
I’m 20 but this inspired me to go and write a letter to my future self. I think stuff like this is so sweet and interesting.
tv does give me all that i need thats where i feel all my emotions but then when i end a show i feel like my world is gone
your my comfort youtuber if you like that title?? i feel like youtuber kind of sounds dehumanizing when i say it, like your just an internet person but your a cool person ty for posting drew
something that gives me weird internet anxiety is knowing you can see analytics and i wonder if you can see i’m binging your videos at a certain time every night😭😭😭
He’s our comfort RUclipsr 😆
This is literally me rn
All together now oh yeah!
It was nice of little you not to put too many expectations on yourself. I had one of these letters and cried because of what a disappointment I would be to little me 😂😭 My family also regularly drove 3 hours to an outlet mall in a different state. Top-notch video king 👏
This is so cute.
The butterfly stickers are so precious
I've cried 4 times today so thanks for this
Sorry to hear! Sending love from Ireland! ❤
@@MyPetGargoyle_ thankyou Jane! 🥺❤️
i have a summer birthday and i was always jealous of the kids that had birthdays during the school year because the whole class would celebrate
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way about tv shows. I work my way to a series finale when I know it’s coming out cuz I know I’m going to cry lol I did that with Brooklyn 99, Supernatural, and I’m doing it rn with the walking dead because these shows are my only comfort in life.
Drew, about the part when you talked about things that happen in your life but they’re not “catastrophic”, you’re 100% right and I know exactly how you feel. I grew up with bad parental/love role models and although it doesn’t like kill you, it makes you look at the world differently. It makes you pessimistic and skeptical because you think, wait..if my parents were lying about their love, is everyone else to? Is this what we’re supposed to do? I agree it’s very confusing!! Small things dueling childhood/adolescence really does shape who you are. Just wanted to share, because I’m glad I found someone else that thinks the same way I have about this topic. Ok thanks Have a nice day 🙂 lol
That's so cool that your teacher actually sent the letter! I love that
His patreon song at the end was so pretty😭 Drew’s music is amazing even when he’s just singing names lol he has a nice voice
omg I commented this right before he ragged on his patreon singing but I thought it was so good 😭
people seriously underestimate how observant children are. for you at your big age to be able to say the way my parents acted around each other still affects how i view love proves that staying together “for the kids” never works the kids can tell. my parents got divorced when i was 4 and i said id rather have 2 happy houses than 1 sad house
then i got a kitten so i prob forgot about the divorce for a minute
i just wanna say i cried a lot to this one and I don't think I can put into words exactly what these videos do for me but i'm really glad i get to watch them cause they are the best parts of a lot of my days and especially ur good self-talk has helped me SO much get through my own c-ptsd and anyways, thank you for making them. ur vulnerability means something at least to me!
this vid actually made me write a two page letter to myself!!! i’m opening it in 6 years though because im impatient now and in the future. also you feel like a friend
I love the “enjoy life while you still can” lol. It’s so true, but the way Drew reads it had me dying…
I resonate so much with the stress of watching a series finale, i just get so nervous especially if it's one of my favorite shows. I mostly get so nervous every time i tell myself maybe i should watch the finale and end up thinking what if it's bad or what if it's amazing and it'll just make me miss the show so i don't do it and end up watching it 3 months later or even longer. I feel like that's toxic and doesn't help me getting over anxiety but i guess i'm just that kind of person and that's fine it's just tv right? It doesn't define me
he's telling you the secrets to drew happiness 💙
Aww so true!
Cptsd is caused by layers and layers of '
"Little things" like you said. The constant fear that its not bad enough for the reaction is awful to deal with
feeling like you didn’t go through enough to receive help/vent is so real. like ive went through objectively traumatizing things and i still feel that way. i think that’s it also important to acknowledge your child brain and be nice to it too lol! like you said maybe a divorce isn’t this big boom, but to you as a child, it left you with negative thought patterns that shaped your future experiences. completely valid! hearing you talk so candidly about your mental health is so comforting and refreshing. thank you for sharing 💗
That’s the sweetest letter
this makes me wish I had my letter so bad but that teacher changed schools and my class never got ours I'm so sad about it
:O track it down!!
That’s beautiful man. Also, just heard your cover of Everybody’s Gotta Live, and it’s amazing, one of my favorite songs i heard this year. 💙
I too grew up in the pressing your ear up to the door to try to get understanding of the quiet chaos of your family who won’t explain stuff environment
It might not be the worst possible trauma but it absolutely is trauma and affected my personality/attachment style ❤️
In trauma therapy they explain that there are big T’s and little T’s which are big traumas a little traumas and sometimes the little traumas can pile up and still have a big impact. Everyone’s trauma is valid.
this video is so close to my heart. i feel like you opened my brain and made the exact video that i wanted to see
Omg thank you for posting i needed this rn ily drew💜💜💜💜💜
i hate my somewhat better than average memory because i have a letter that is almost 10 years old that i’m not supposed to open until next year but i still remember what i wrote in it so it wouldn’t be a surprise
i’m already 22 but i think i’m gonna write one of these to open when i’m 30. i imagine my life will be completely different by then so it will be pretty trippy to read.
I've had an awfully shitty day and a video from you is just what I needed, thanks
I love how so much happens within the first minute of the video, makes me feel safe in my own head
awww your past you's challenge being to have fun is so sweet
"let us know in the comments what Cancers do"....cancer moon/rising here. we feel. we feel and cry a lot LOL
I’ve been so anxious these past few days and i’m so grateful you uploaded drew
This was really nice, thank you Big Drew and Little Drew.
oh man so many things about the bit about your parents hit home. my parents are still together and they don't really show affection, so i am really terrible in relationships. My dad was very affectionate to us as kids, but I found it smothering, my brother didn't though and it seems like he is better in relationships. Also the thing about hiding things- my family doesn't talk about stuff and I always have that feeling you mentioned- I can tell you're hiding something so just tell me god damn it! Anyway. I feel you.
wow im a theater kid and in definitely going to be using that warm up. thank you drew.
Wow that’s so great you have that letter. I can’t imagine having something like that written to me future. It would be emotional. Hope you are doing good!! Thank you Drew!💜💜
You have no idea how much I enjoyed this video, once again I relate to you so much. I wish I had written myself a letter as a kid. Thank you for sharing Drew ❤️
hii I love these videos, they're so comforting n funnee as heck ♡
often you just need enough food or sleep and remembering this helps me feel hope that my negative mindset will be temporary.
This video was incredibly relatable and therapeutic to watch. Thank you Drew for real for sharing so we can go through these all little journeys and introspections and realizations along with you
this inspires me to write a letter to my future self even tho i know future me is gonna lose it
Drew, thank you for being so open and honest in these videos.
Drew I’ve had a shitty week at work and these videos just make me so happy
My mother told me my zodiac sign was cancer when I was 7. I told everyone at school I had cancer lol
i just got home from school (my first day back after a week of spring break). im exhausted and i wanted to do nothing but sleep and school was difficult. i was very upset about having to go to school again tomorrow. your videos always find a way to calm me and make me feel better about anything im going through, if i make a list of things that make me happy you’ll be on it.
More videos please this shit is the most entertaining stuff ever I love you drew!!!
your videos always make me feel less lonely, like im on facetime with a friend :-) also feeling inspired to write myself a letter to open in a few years now
You have no idea how much 20:47 - 21:02 just helped me unlock answers to something I've been trying to heal within myself for the past few years and especially the past 2 months. Thank you.