This video was SO useful! I relate to both Alicia AND Jono almost equally in this one and I totally feel Alicia's struggles - i relate to that as a family member (and kind of my manager role in my family) - AND as a manager at work - struggling with being the main one who knows what needs to be done and frustrated with others not supporting or sharing with the load. I LOVE this example of everything Alicia & Jono (Jalicia? Jonicia?) 😁 - is doing here to make their marriage not just function, but thrive. This stuff they cover here and how to do it is exactly what I have needed amd wanted for a healthy relationship - romantic partner, and everyone really - at work, in my nuclear family, extended family, etc. All these videos in this series have been so useful yet this might be my favorite yet. 👍🔥❤️💯
Very interesting! Thanks you for the openess... I feel Alicia do a very goood job talking about her side of things more, and we can understand better that Jono wasn't "the bad one" and her "the perfect one"... Both has their weakness and are working in them.
Omg "Closers like discomfort" holy crap that's why I'm like this 😂 I pride myself on not taking shortcuts if doing it the hard way is the right way. Thinker/Closer
My partner is such an extreme version of that "playing to work" mentality. I bring up that i feel like i do too much and need more help, he says "ok!" And then 4, 5, 6 days later its still not done. I dont feel like i should have to tell a father in his 30s that we need clean dishes and that the bathroom is disgusting... Its so hard to feel unsupported with housework.
Yes you feel disrespected. So the question is: why? Why is he not helping you? And than work with the answer
Год назад+1
In my experience with my teenager, he takes responsibility when I step back a bit. And leave it to him when he wants to do the job, how he wants. He does. It’s not like no boundaries, but like if he wants to do the dishes not now but in two hours I respect, but not tomorrow 😅. And I know it’s so hard to wait when you see there are things to be done! Ofcourse a 30 year old partner is different. I live with my son. This worked for our family. And it’s a good feeling to have something done!
It's interesting, we have a toddler, my husband has more anxiety and I have more depression, so he's more likely to freak out at a mess or something slightly dangerous and I just shrug and say he's learning, and we frustrate each other because he's tense and i just can't see why it's a big deal. This is a bit different than what the video is about but I've been noticing it lately
I see a lot of posts online where women voice their frustration over their partner’s use of the word “helping,” because it unconsciously communicates that so many of these responsibilities are hers, and her partner is just making an effort to alleviate, rather than they both share the responsibilities for their shared life/children/etc.
My husband is such a great man, husband, father! But sometimes I really do get annoyed with having to giving a grown man a task list. Take a look around and just do something😅
I figure there has to be constant evolution in the relationship or at least constant openness, especially if either or both parents have any kind of mental issues. I have clinical level anxiety and my husband doesn't, but we still BOTH need to check in with each other sometimes, not just him checking on me.
We have the problem my husband and I are both not really closer types and bad at organization XD we both easily say " lets just do that later" lol well it kinda works out. But in raising our daughter I think we really don't have those hard roles division. Icguess I am a bit better in open play and the musical side, while he is better at being really silly. We both are about the same in strictness We are on the same page in what we calue most for our daughter and that is emotional support. So we always want her to feel loved and understood. We will both discuss what to say or not to say because we have very different histories of denied emotions (he was often beeing told to not be a pussy, or take thibgs so hard and had an anxiety problem that the parents didn't really understand just saying " it's not that bad, just stop; while I was told not to cry and I learned to feel bad about crying and people kept telling me I was bad with criticism, I realised later their criticism often actually was more like mobbing or gaslighting.... yeah...) but we also want her to be a part of society, so she has to learn cettain rules. We try to have her make decisions where possible. I guess the department we do worst in is cleaning routine... 😅
If both parents were closers, unlike Jono and Alicia being one closer and one healer here, the kids would be miserable. A second point is that, I don’t understand, four children, that’s mountains of workload…….
This video was SO useful! I relate to both Alicia AND Jono almost equally in this one and I totally feel Alicia's struggles - i relate to that as a family member (and kind of my manager role in my family) - AND as a manager at work - struggling with being the main one who knows what needs to be done and frustrated with others not supporting or sharing with the load.
I LOVE this example of everything Alicia & Jono (Jalicia? Jonicia?) 😁 - is doing here to make their marriage not just function, but thrive. This stuff they cover here and how to do it is exactly what I have needed amd wanted for a healthy relationship - romantic partner, and everyone really - at work, in my nuclear family, extended family, etc.
All these videos in this series have been so useful yet this might be my favorite yet. 👍🔥❤️💯
Very interesting! Thanks you for the openess... I feel Alicia do a very goood job talking about her side of things more, and we can understand better that Jono wasn't "the bad one" and her "the perfect one"... Both has their weakness and are working in them.
Omg "Closers like discomfort" holy crap that's why I'm like this 😂
I pride myself on not taking shortcuts if doing it the hard way is the right way.
Thinker/Closer
MAGIC MOUNTAIN MOM 😭💀
My partner is such an extreme version of that "playing to work" mentality. I bring up that i feel like i do too much and need more help, he says "ok!" And then 4, 5, 6 days later its still not done. I dont feel like i should have to tell a father in his 30s that we need clean dishes and that the bathroom is disgusting... Its so hard to feel unsupported with housework.
Yes you feel disrespected. So the question is: why? Why is he not helping you? And than work with the answer
In my experience with my teenager, he takes responsibility when I step back a bit. And leave it to him when he wants to do the job, how he wants. He does. It’s not like no boundaries, but like if he wants to do the dishes not now but in two hours I respect, but not tomorrow 😅. And I know it’s so hard to wait when you see there are things to be done! Ofcourse a 30 year old partner is different. I live with my son. This worked for our family. And it’s a good feeling to have something done!
"There's a word for that: masochists." My thoughts exactly! Thank you Jonno :)
In my house growing up it was always, "Wait till your mother gets home" 😂
Great. I identify myself as thinker - healer. I have marriage problems with *myself* .🥳
It's interesting, we have a toddler, my husband has more anxiety and I have more depression, so he's more likely to freak out at a mess or something slightly dangerous and I just shrug and say he's learning, and we frustrate each other because he's tense and i just can't see why it's a big deal. This is a bit different than what the video is about but I've been noticing it lately
I see a lot of posts online where women voice their frustration over their partner’s use of the word “helping,” because it unconsciously communicates that so many of these responsibilities are hers, and her partner is just making an effort to alleviate, rather than they both share the responsibilities for their shared life/children/etc.
I don’t like discomfort in my daily life, I only like it in the sense of self improvement or seeing others improve and living up to their potential.
My husband is such a great man, husband, father! But sometimes I really do get annoyed with having to giving a grown man a task list. Take a look around and just do something😅
Alicia is truly amazing
I agree. - Jono
I figure there has to be constant evolution in the relationship or at least constant openness, especially if either or both parents have any kind of mental issues. I have clinical level anxiety and my husband doesn't, but we still BOTH need to check in with each other sometimes, not just him checking on me.
We have the problem my husband and I are both not really closer types and bad at organization XD we both easily say " lets just do that later" lol well it kinda works out.
But in raising our daughter I think we really don't have those hard roles division. Icguess I am a bit better in open play and the musical side, while he is better at being really silly. We both are about the same in strictness
We are on the same page in what we calue most for our daughter and that is emotional support. So we always want her to feel loved and understood. We will both discuss what to say or not to say because we have very different histories of denied emotions (he was often beeing told to not be a pussy, or take thibgs so hard and had an anxiety problem that the parents didn't really understand just saying " it's not that bad, just stop; while I was told not to cry and I learned to feel bad about crying and people kept telling me I was bad with criticism, I realised later their criticism often actually was more like mobbing or gaslighting.... yeah...) but we also want her to be a part of society, so she has to learn cettain rules. We try to have her make decisions where possible.
I guess the department we do worst in is cleaning routine... 😅
Thanks again, you guys!
I think I'm a healer but also a tiny bit closer 🤔 why does that feel impossible
Alicia is so much like my mom, and somehow she raised me to become a Jono. I am scared.
If both parents were closers, unlike Jono and Alicia being one closer and one healer here, the kids would be miserable. A second point is that, I don’t understand, four children, that’s mountains of workload…….