Honestly, this felt kinda off. I know that you guys know your kids way more than i do, so this is just me judging solely from this and the previous reenactment. It feels like Shayla already understands that her and her brother have different personalities, but what she needs is help setting up boundaries. I think she needs to feel comfortable telling bryson when she doesn't want to play with him, and she should be allowed to leave the room when she just doesn't want to be teased anymore. I feel like telling Shayla to just be patient and understanding to her brothers teasing when she clearly doesn't like it, is like saying that his emotions and self expression is more important than hers. Maybe im biased because im a healer myself and emphatize a lot with Shaylas' frustration. I just fear that she'll grow to believe that she constantly has to tolerate peoples misbehaviour towards her because she has to be the mature and understanding one. But yea, those are just my thoughts, i love the channel, you two are awesome parents and i hope everything goes well for you and your family🩷
I was feeling extremely similarly,, I love Mended Light and both of these people seem great, but I'm putting myself in Shayla's shoes and I would feel like I'm being talked AT way more than being talked to... again, solely from the reenactment, I feel like she seemed to be getting more upset throughout the conversation than less, and I feel like I could see myself in the same spot
So this hit at the right time! Growing up, my. sister and I were, and still are, complete opposites and I was always the sensitive one who got talked into playing with her but yeah, she used to tease me a lot and I would get upset.
She may be a narc.. If she also wanted all your parents attention and/or was extremely disobedient. And if she was also mean to friends and very competitive..
I'm a very sensitive person like Sayla and while I don't have a sibling like Bryson, I do have a co-worker that constantly frustrates and upsets me. I'm friendly with all my other co-workers but they're the only one that seems to go out of their way to NOT interact with me. Whenever I pass by and say hi they just give me this death stare. They radiate this "f*** off" energy, and yet I see them having conversations with other people all the time. So I always think "Am I the problem? What did I do to make this person hate me so much?" I don't know what the deal is. Maybe we just have completely opposite personalities. They're also much MUCH younger than me, so there's that. I guess one way or another, we're just not on the same level.
I think his actions only speaks on the person he is, and has nothing to do with you :) If it was a you problem, you wouldn't be friendly with all the other coworkers!
I spent most of this video going "What the heck...??? Why does she have to play with him if she doesn't feel safe around him??" Might have been helpful to lead with something about the boundary aspect in the intro segment, because it was super uncomfortable and confusing to spend the whole video feeling like the daughter was being talked over when she said she didn't want to play with the other kid.
right it just sounded like a bunch of excuses being made for B and explaining him to her, like she doesn’t already know he’s difficult! why not introduce some ways in which he tries changing or letting her say no to playing with him?…also it’s teaching her to “be patient” with males with negative and destructive traits. not a good look! It sounds like he may be autistic but that is still no excuse to have her put up with things that make her uncomfortable
@@starlita_baby I agree with everything you said, but I think if they had led with Jono saying "I made a mistake and wasn't listening to my daughter's boundaries..." it would have went over differently for me. I'd also like to see something about Jono acknowledging that mistake *to the children.* Parents can be accountable to their kids too!
To clarify my comment: I think that, yes, it's important for kids to learn to tolerate difficult feelings and situations, but this particular situation hits weird as an example of that lesson. There's nothing in "Shayla's" dialogue that indicates to me that she's internalized the teasing and struggling with self-perception. All I hear her saying is that she feels like there's a double standard in the household between her and her brother, that she *doesn't want to play with him* and her dad made her. Clearly, Jono and Alicia have a more nuanced understanding of the situation, but I feel like this role play segment needs better set-up, because it reads like parents making excuses for one child at the expense of another.
As a healer personality type you both taught me to see how much of a gift it is. I still to this day distance myself from others because I often get hurt by their actions , but now I'm more aware that it has nothing to do with me.
When I was a child I grew up neglected by my family and my needs were rarely met. I was labeled as sensitive and picky so I was forced into being a mini adult at 5 years old. My young sibling was a very carefree child and would get into accidents often so my parents were very protective of him. He would get punished at school so much that they confessed to me they wouldn't punish him at home even though he deserved it. That resoulted in a very toxic dynamic in which my younger self would be better behaved but held more accountable, I thought it was unfair because I was completely independent and the perfect child but still recieved only backlash. At the end my little brother became my enemy.I would bully him heavily, which to make clear I regret every single day and I am not trying to justify, it wasn't until I went to therapy at 16 years old I understood my anger was being misdirected at him. Till this day I can see how this affected the way we fell about ourselves, while I feel that my value equals my accomplishments my brother just feels useless. Now I see he was being neglected too. This video is very healing because I wished any attention was paid to any of us, I now look back and I can see all the signs. This wasn't his fault nor mine, and while I have apologized I know that doesn't take back the damage we both went through. If this video meant this much to you too I hope you and your siblings can work through it now.
This was so difficult to watch because it brought me back to childhood, but also because... it seemed like nothing was done? nothing was affirmed for the child? she was just made out to be impatient and unkind for being upset by behavior that was deliberately meant to upset her? laughed at and told to endure that for nine more years? I kept waiting for something supportive to be said, but this just seemed to be a lot of excuse-making for the mistreatment, with no affirmation that the feelings are legitimate and fair, and no promise of resolution.
this was so familiar to me. I don't know how old Shayla and Bryson are supposed to be but once I was old enough to take longer walks alone that was what I did. My mother knew me well enough by then to realize this was what I needed to just get away for a while not only to calm down but to put a different perspective on the situation.
This feels icky. It's like Alicia is telling Shayla to just endure his bad behavior even though she knows it's painful to her. When Alicia was like, "Can I finish?" That bothered me...she was just trying to vent and Alicia felt like it was more important for ALICIA to be heard....for her to finish. These videos are very frustrating because they don't seem like they LISTEN enough to the kids. They just consist of Alicia ASSUMING she knows how the kids feel and instructing the kids in how they're always wrong and they need to change in order to be accepted by the family/parents. Box breathing? Pillow screaming? Really? The reason she's upset is that she's not allowed to talk. It's sounds patronizing to say, "Aw...do you need 10 minutes to have your pity party? Do you need a hug?" It doesn't sound sincere. Which is how I would expect a Closer to behave. This is a closer flaw on display. I know that Alicia thinks she validated her...but what she actually did was ASSUME she knew how she felt. I think what would have been better is to let Shayla talk...without a time limit. so she can feel heard and understood with her own words. You say she shouldn't bottle her emotions...but this exactly what this is teaching her to do. The message is "cater to your brother and HIS personality style." Why didn't Alicia just have BOTH kids talking to each other and act as a mediator? It's like she separated both kids and handled it individually which seems counterproductive. It's a relationship issue. Not instructing them how to fawn. It looks like it's much easier for Alicia to parent her fellow closer child than her healer child.
Hey great start! If I May I’d like to give pointers as an amateur filmmaker myself. 1. Please put the ages of the kids you’re portraying as well as a title card that addresses the scenario beforehand. That way it’s easier to follow the storyline and more intriguing for your viewers
2. Alicia comes off a bit flat and non-emotional, which I know isn’t accurate to her personality, which can become tiring to watch. It’s important to show that parents can also get frustrated when solving these types of problems between sibling dynamics and it’s important to show. While we can appreciate how calm she is, not everyone can be. 3. You both should “cheat” more towards the camera. Your bodies are facing each other like a conversation but it doesn’t quite work in video format.
“Cheat/Cheat in/Cheat out- To 'cheat' is to turn your face or entire body either out to the audience (or camera) to be seen better without completely turning (so it still looks natural, but you are not completely in profile) or to face in to conceal something.”
Please put the age of your children in the intro. It's a bit difficult to gauge the difference in maturity. It's not only the personality type, the age matters too in how parents talk to their children
I absolutely agree. I can’t talk to my 5 year old or hold her to the same maturity standard as my 9 year old, and it always sounds like Alicia is talking to adults in the dialogue, or at least teenagers.
I’ve Got 2 Older 1/2 Brothers on my Mom’s Side of The Family,We’re All”Physically”Adults Now,But”Mentally,&, Emotionally”we Aren’t Most of The Time Especially Since I’ve Got Autism,it Feels Like Whenever I’m Attempting to Have a Conversation With Them I’m Speaking a Foreign Language to People Who Are Also Speaking a Foreign Language,&,You Add my ADHD on Top of That Then It’s Much More Difficult For me to Regulate my Emotions,&,I Wind up Hating Myself Even More After Every Argument
Honestly, this felt kinda off. I know that you guys know your kids way more than i do, so this is just me judging solely from this and the previous reenactment. It feels like Shayla already understands that her and her brother have different personalities, but what she needs is help setting up boundaries. I think she needs to feel comfortable telling bryson when she doesn't want to play with him, and she should be allowed to leave the room when she just doesn't want to be teased anymore. I feel like telling Shayla to just be patient and understanding to her brothers teasing when she clearly doesn't like it, is like saying that his emotions and self expression is more important than hers. Maybe im biased because im a healer myself and emphatize a lot with Shaylas' frustration. I just fear that she'll grow to believe that she constantly has to tolerate peoples misbehaviour towards her because she has to be the mature and understanding one.
But yea, those are just my thoughts, i love the channel, you two are awesome parents and i hope everything goes well for you and your family🩷
I was feeling extremely similarly,, I love Mended Light and both of these people seem great, but I'm putting myself in Shayla's shoes and I would feel like I'm being talked AT way more than being talked to... again, solely from the reenactment, I feel like she seemed to be getting more upset throughout the conversation than less, and I feel like I could see myself in the same spot
So this hit at the right time! Growing up, my. sister and I were, and still are, complete opposites and I was always the sensitive one who got talked into playing with her but yeah, she used to tease me a lot and I would get upset.
She may be a narc.. If she also wanted all your parents attention and/or was extremely disobedient. And if she was also mean to friends and very competitive..
I'm a very sensitive person like Sayla and while I don't have a sibling like Bryson, I do have a co-worker that constantly frustrates and upsets me. I'm friendly with all my other co-workers but they're the only one that seems to go out of their way to NOT interact with me. Whenever I pass by and say hi they just give me this death stare. They radiate this "f*** off" energy, and yet I see them having conversations with other people all the time. So I always think "Am I the problem? What did I do to make this person hate me so much?" I don't know what the deal is.
Maybe we just have completely opposite personalities. They're also much MUCH younger than me, so there's that. I guess one way or another, we're just not on the same level.
I think his actions only speaks on the person he is, and has nothing to do with you :) If it was a you problem, you wouldn't be friendly with all the other coworkers!
I couldn’t finish watching this one. I’m not sure why, but it didn’t feel okay.
I spent most of this video going "What the heck...??? Why does she have to play with him if she doesn't feel safe around him??" Might have been helpful to lead with something about the boundary aspect in the intro segment, because it was super uncomfortable and confusing to spend the whole video feeling like the daughter was being talked over when she said she didn't want to play with the other kid.
right it just sounded like a bunch of excuses being made for B and explaining him to her, like she doesn’t already know he’s difficult! why not introduce some ways in which he tries changing or letting her say no to playing with him?…also it’s teaching her to “be patient” with males with negative and destructive traits. not a good look!
It sounds like he may be autistic but that is still no excuse to have her put up with things that make her uncomfortable
@@starlita_baby I agree with everything you said, but I think if they had led with Jono saying "I made a mistake and wasn't listening to my daughter's boundaries..." it would have went over differently for me. I'd also like to see something about Jono acknowledging that mistake *to the children.* Parents can be accountable to their kids too!
To clarify my comment: I think that, yes, it's important for kids to learn to tolerate difficult feelings and situations, but this particular situation hits weird as an example of that lesson. There's nothing in "Shayla's" dialogue that indicates to me that she's internalized the teasing and struggling with self-perception. All I hear her saying is that she feels like there's a double standard in the household between her and her brother, that she *doesn't want to play with him* and her dad made her. Clearly, Jono and Alicia have a more nuanced understanding of the situation, but I feel like this role play segment needs better set-up, because it reads like parents making excuses for one child at the expense of another.
Yeah I'm glad they mentioned it at the very end but I almost wish the bit at the end of the video (like, 14:50 ish) happened first, and then the skit,
Exactly. Maybe the answer is that the boy is being mean to his sister and needs to stop.
As a healer personality type you both taught me to see how much of a gift it is. I still to this day distance myself from others because I often get hurt by their actions , but now I'm more aware that it has nothing to do with me.
This comes at a perfect time. Thank you.
When I was a child I grew up neglected by my family and my needs were rarely met. I was labeled as sensitive and picky so I was forced into being a mini adult at 5 years old. My young sibling was a very carefree child and would get into accidents often so my parents were very protective of him. He would get punished at school so much that they confessed to me they wouldn't punish him at home even though he deserved it. That resoulted in a very toxic dynamic in which my younger self would be better behaved but held more accountable, I thought it was unfair because I was completely independent and the perfect child but still recieved only backlash. At the end my little brother became my enemy.I would bully him heavily, which to make clear I regret every single day and I am not trying to justify, it wasn't until I went to therapy at 16 years old I understood my anger was being misdirected at him. Till this day I can see how this affected the way we fell about ourselves, while I feel that my value equals my accomplishments my brother just feels useless. Now I see he was being neglected too.
This video is very healing because I wished any attention was paid to any of us, I now look back and I can see all the signs. This wasn't his fault nor mine, and while I have apologized I know that doesn't take back the damage we both went through.
If this video meant this much to you too I hope you and your siblings can work through it now.
I wished somebody talked to me like that back when I was younger and fought with my sister!!!
This was so difficult to watch because it brought me back to childhood, but also because... it seemed like nothing was done? nothing was affirmed for the child? she was just made out to be impatient and unkind for being upset by behavior that was deliberately meant to upset her? laughed at and told to endure that for nine more years? I kept waiting for something supportive to be said, but this just seemed to be a lot of excuse-making for the mistreatment, with no affirmation that the feelings are legitimate and fair, and no promise of resolution.
this was so familiar to me. I don't know how old Shayla and Bryson are supposed to be but once I was old enough to take longer walks alone that was what I did. My mother knew me well enough by then to realize this was what I needed to just get away for a while not only to calm down but to put a different perspective on the situation.
It could be awesome to see a video dedicated to each personality type, I think I'm a Thinker/Feeler which is a freaking rollercoaster.
This feels icky. It's like Alicia is telling Shayla to just endure his bad behavior even though she knows it's painful to her. When Alicia was like, "Can I finish?" That bothered me...she was just trying to vent and Alicia felt like it was more important for ALICIA to be heard....for her to finish. These videos are very frustrating because they don't seem like they LISTEN enough to the kids. They just consist of Alicia ASSUMING she knows how the kids feel and instructing the kids in how they're always wrong and they need to change in order to be accepted by the family/parents. Box breathing? Pillow screaming? Really? The reason she's upset is that she's not allowed to talk. It's sounds patronizing to say, "Aw...do you need 10 minutes to have your pity party? Do you need a hug?" It doesn't sound sincere. Which is how I would expect a Closer to behave. This is a closer flaw on display. I know that Alicia thinks she validated her...but what she actually did was ASSUME she knew how she felt. I think what would have been better is to let Shayla talk...without a time limit. so she can feel heard and understood with her own words. You say she shouldn't bottle her emotions...but this exactly what this is teaching her to do. The message is "cater to your brother and HIS personality style." Why didn't Alicia just have BOTH kids talking to each other and act as a mediator? It's like she separated both kids and handled it individually which seems counterproductive. It's a relationship issue. Not instructing them how to fawn. It looks like it's much easier for Alicia to parent her fellow closer child than her healer child.
Hey great start! If I May I’d like to give pointers as an amateur filmmaker myself.
1. Please put the ages of the kids you’re portraying as well as a title card that addresses the scenario beforehand. That way it’s easier to follow the storyline and more intriguing for your viewers
2. Alicia comes off a bit flat and non-emotional, which I know isn’t accurate to her personality, which can become tiring to watch. It’s important to show that parents can also get frustrated when solving these types of problems between sibling dynamics and it’s important to show. While we can appreciate how calm she is, not everyone can be.
3. You both should “cheat” more towards the camera. Your bodies are facing each other like a conversation but it doesn’t quite work in video format.
“Cheat/Cheat in/Cheat out- To 'cheat' is to turn your face or entire body either out to the audience (or camera) to be seen better without completely turning (so it still looks natural, but you are not completely in profile) or to face in to conceal something.”
Please put the age of your children in the intro. It's a bit difficult to gauge the difference in maturity. It's not only the personality type, the age matters too in how parents talk to their children
I absolutely agree. I can’t talk to my 5 year old or hold her to the same maturity standard as my 9 year old, and it always sounds like Alicia is talking to adults in the dialogue, or at least teenagers.
Hard to teach an old dog new tricks 😂
I’ve Got 2 Older 1/2 Brothers on my Mom’s Side of The Family,We’re All”Physically”Adults Now,But”Mentally,&, Emotionally”we Aren’t Most of The Time Especially Since I’ve Got Autism,it Feels Like Whenever I’m Attempting to Have a Conversation With Them I’m Speaking a Foreign Language to People Who Are Also Speaking a Foreign Language,&,You Add my ADHD on Top of That Then It’s Much More Difficult For me to Regulate my Emotions,&,I Wind up Hating Myself Even More After Every Argument
Love hearing my name, especially pronounced properly LOL
That certainly describes me and my oldest brother (I’m the second one btw) but we don’t exactly “hate” we just bunk heads most of the time
5/5JONOS⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐