DSP Desperate For Content
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- Опубликовано: 6 май 2024
- Art Done By : / @darksy_dephil
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Развлечения
Phil takes 10 full minutes to say "I tried ColdStone ice cream for the first time, it was pretty good."
Phil was the kid in school who turned in a book report that was 10 pages long because volume equals quality.
Him ending this "silly thing" with "i just want to get it off my chest" because who else is he gonna talk to about it, is really really fuckin sad and confirms he just treats prestream as a therapy session.
Yep.
He really needs friends and some hobbies. He sounds like an old person by the way he complains about prices and just rambles.
"i don't crave fruity stuff"
he says before sipping fruit flavored sparkling water because regular water is too hard to drink
@@spitfireohone that's gin flavored sparkling water
@@joshuak451 It's kinda hard to be a friend of a guy who screws over everybody who kinda associates with him. And with all the money he wastes in holgans and gin, all the time and energy he wastes in his "khantent", he has no money/time/energy for a hobby. To get friends and hobbies he needs to change his behaviour, and change is to his guy what a cross shaped sun is to a vampire. I'm not defending the guy, just saying why he won't take your suggestion.
No wonder he thinks 40 is "old". He literally is like a 80 year old grandpa with nobody to talk to, whining to the cashier about dumb shit nobody cares about.
DSPs brain is receiving garbled messages from the mothership again. Must be bugged interstellar communication mechanics.
I've never been more convinced that he is an alien. I've never heard a human describe ice cream like that.
The man living in a gated community can't spend $10 on ice cream.
The degenregardedloser spent over 100k ON MOBILE GAME BEJEWLED GAMBLING FOR SWEATY MUSCLE MEN !
His life is a constant chase for validation. I'm not sure if it's due to low self esteem, being an only child, or a basic inferiority complex.
It’s the narcissism.
All 3, combined... the only child thing is just called being more independent
Well i wouldnt call it a complex, more so a justified reason cause he is
Phil lives in a very affluent area of the US and is somehow surprised that luxuries available in mentioned affluent area still have a customer base. His brain is unreal.
shut in syndrome
"Spending on the wrong things" because of course Phil judges how other people spend.
When he's the LAST type of person who should be.
DSP set his whole Machinima fortune on fire.
He's the last person to criticize other people's spending habits.
He could already be retired just like his contemporaries, but he chose to be a cow instead.
"Why are you not spending your money on me?! Your needs are on the way bottom of the list! Spend your money on me REEEEE!"
I was looking for this comment.
DSP Financial Consulting Services coming soon.
A Hogan addict who throws away $500 a night just like that for sweaty jpegs preaching about outrageous ice cream price of $10 is.., priceless.
Technically... it was $510 that day... so not priceless... 😅
I think he definitely knows what he’s doing when he sneak disses Kat’s weight. He said she sounded like an elephant. I’m almost positive he loathes fat women. He always had terrible things to say about fat women in his playthroughs.
It’s actually kinda funny he got stuck with one.
ive said this many times, there is no such thing as fat women, there is hot chicks and ugly chicks, khet is 100% ugly (bowlcut beauty) but yea phil hates women who are larger
It's because it hits his ego not because it's unhealthy for her
With his lifestyle and his options in women, it was inevitable.
@@wasd-moves-me 110% man
It's amazing how he can talk about having ice cream and stretch it out to like an hour. He's not just a waste of space but a legit waste of time too
An alien communicating back to its mothership all the earthly things its doing.
This dude is turning crochety in real time complaining to us about this. "This ice cream is too sweet, it's too expensive, when I was a kid ice cream cost a dollar" what a pensioner.
Vanilla ice cream in a small cone maybe
i like to call his day of with phil segment his "schitzo storytime with phil, the fakest stories on youtube"
Biggest lie dsp has ever told is that khet was "a little hungry."
Her body does not tell me she eats a little bit.
To be fair if she was really hungry she'd be on par with a black hole.
Ice Cream Employee "What can I get for you today?"
Kat "A scooper and out of my way."
@@gregofthelake lol
thats like a 1500 calorie snack
Phil describing extremely mundane things, especially food (like the chocolate bar review), is some of the funniest shit he does. He is so bizarre, like an actual anthropological marvel
"Where else would I talk about it?" No Phil, the question is should I talk about it and the answer is no.
_"She got crazy cookie dough..."_
Dipped in grease, we know.
Big shout out to Deak Stroking Phil!
I'm convinced that he absolutely runs that house on pennies he spends as little as humanly possible those hogan's are more important
His ability to make an already boring, nothing burger of a topic somehow more boring is genuinely shocking to me. How do you make explaining ice cream even more boring than it already is.
Phil is shocked that some people budget their money where they can go out and buy ice cream without applying for a loan.
His lack of both shame and self-awareness.
welp ive never heard ice cream described as “malleable” interesting lol
Yeah he hasnt had ice cream before. Sounds good, sounds good. Kat agrees.
thick and soft ice-cream with dense, non-liquidy consistency
what the fuck is this alien about
It's actually a pretty good word to describe the texture of Cold Stone ice cream tbh.
@@TomSawyerCoDIs it? I don't agree. There are a good few words that come to mind to describe food before "malleable". "Creamy", "soft", "thick", "buttery" and "smooth" all give off a similar effect, and all sound much more palatable than "malleable" - of which is a term usually applied to DIY and industry materials.
Besides that, why on earth does he feel he has to describe ice-cream as though it's an uncommon substance? 🤣
So DSP classifies "Cold Stone Creamery" as an entire food instead of just ice cream, what in the entire fuck is wrong with this man?
I'm still confused from when he was doing his superbowl bit and Kat made him something, he presented it as a "piece of food" instead of just a "thing" or "item" or just calling it what it was.
I think it was the mandatory social interaction of some degree that made him hate bar hopping, despite alcohol being involved.
He needs to spend the Dent Dollars on that Vegeta Hairline.
It's weird how he self-censors and says "F around" and then later he calls a chatter a "Fucking Morahn"
DSP always manages to tell on himself. "Oh people spend their money on the wrong things". Translation people don't give me money for Hogan pulls. That Ice Cream money is not wasted on him.
How dare I take my kids out for ice cream and spend some time with them outside the house. I should have bought them a churn and told them to make their own.
@@gregofthelake Shame on you, should of sent that money to Phil instead obviously .
I bet he asked for his ice cream to be served in one of those take-out Styrofoam containers.
*Gotta add another to the garage collection*
That same parking lot also just happens to have a random Nordstrom Rack store which is probably where he is buying his "discounted designer shirts"
I'm thinking a TJ Maxx outlet store.
I think all detractors should chip-in to license out the x-files theme for whenever this alien tries to explain anything.
Forget the x-files, let’s just play random clips of Alan Tudyk from Resident Allen because he’s literally an alien badly disguised as a human.
I feel like that was a jab to his dents. If you have money for ice cream you have money to tip. Get fawked, Dsp.
Oh, dude, you know it was a sneak guilt-trip beg.
No audio, probably the most tolerable style philliam will ever be
Once again DSP proving that him being the Valedictorian of his class is total bs
I feel like it was a "special" school.
I think it was a tiny Catholic school
I have a very hard time believing someone who won’t shop at Walmart and lives in a gated community is buying used clothing from thrift stores.
He probably goes to Ross or TJ Maxx. They have some good stuff. However, Phil picked the old man shirts.
Millionaires are often some of the most Jewish people when it comes to spending habits, I know a old man with like 20k guns , 9 houses , 50ish cars , over a mil in the bank and he dresses like a hobo , drives a 92 civic and buys all his stuff at a auction house that sells out of date food and items that couldn't sell at stores and probably bathes once a year to save money on water....
Not saying phill is a millionaire but lots of rich people are extremely tight fisted
Man. Phil really has a knack of taking the mundane and making it insufferable. This is the kind of stuff he should keep to Twitter, like the app was originally intended for.
I don't buy for a second he was uncomfortable with their prices when he's paying the jacked up DoorDash prices & misc fees multiple times a week.
If he thinks $10/serving is steep, he'd also be really uneasy paying for a service like DoorDash since that's food related also.
Thats 10$ for a pint of quality ice cream, he could have bought the cheaper ones but nah.
DD adds 30%+ He's just poor bragging, as usual, and trying to gaslight that inflation isn't the reason his support is drying up (even though it likely is most of his fans are poor)
@@BenHeckHacks exactly! He's feigning poverty, trying to pad out his "I can't afford anything" tale.
The menu prices are just a bit higher on DoorDash, just like groceries are a smidge higher on Instacart.
I order occasionally from those places too. You see how much of a difference in price it is for the luxury of convenience...it adds up!! And, he's doing it several times a week, which is just insane.
The kind of person that's ok paying higher prices for a service that picks up to go food & brings it to you it's not the kind of person that sweats a rare $10 dessert.
Its because you're not looking at this like Phil, Phil is pissed that at 10 bucks for ice cream people are not tipping him more as people are willing to spend money on a "small" amount of ice cream. This isn't about the price of the ice cream but that fat he's not getting money. Just remember tho where he was at the minimum wage is close to 20 bucks an hour. Meaning the ice cream cost 30 minutes of work. If you work for the federal minimum wage It would take 1 hour and 23 minutes to earn the 10 bucks, But lets say your from oh idk Argentina that same 10 dollar ice cream would cost you almost your whole weeks paycheck. People are not tipping him from Seattle and he doesn't understand that around the world, hell even around the US money is different for everyone. Phil like to remind you he's not rich and has done everything in his power to make sure that he never will be.
So if you have a full time job in Seattle the ice cream is .29% of your monthly income. For me its less the .14% if I want ice cream ill get ice cream stop pocket watching other people phil. But them again hes wasted 2 good hogan pulls and his and Khets ice cream.
Lol, according to their website the $10 "Gotta Have It" version of Mint Mint Chocolate Chocolate chip and the Cookie Dough are nearly 1200 calories...
A "little treat?" That explains SOOO MUCH!
Weekly cat supplies gets me every time. What could you possibly need to get for a cat every week? Litter is in the pounds, food for one cat should last minimum a couple of weeks. Treats? Why not buy them in more than a weeks worth?
He’s either stupid, lying or buying gift cards there. But the gift cards seem like too much work when you can just buy through the app.
I have a 60 pound dog and I buy her food and treats less often than Phil.
100% sure he is lying.. also why would he got to a pet store weekly when he already goes to costco and they have the same quality cat food at cheaper prices, and litter... it takes ine aisle and 45 extra seconds... he acts like its a half day mission and a hard task
@@gregofthelakei have a german shepherd and once a month for dog food and eats easily 4x as much as his cat
@@dertythegrower probably closer to 10x. Had 2 big dogs eating a big bag a week, with my 2 cats that bag lasts months
I have 1 cat and a 3.5 lb bag of cat food usually lasts me about 3 weeks. I keep forgetting to keep track of how long a bucket of litter lasts because it takes so long to go through one that I end up forgetting about it until it's about to run out. It has to be at least a month and a half.
I hate the way he laughs and when he does it. It sounds like how Joaquin Phoenix laughs in Joker
I mentioned this on Doody's clip of his ice cream segment and I'll mention it here too.
A $10 "serving" at Cold Stone is a quart of ice cream. A FREAKIN QUART. Go look up their prices on their website, it's labeled as "Ours", meaning it's meant to be shared, not a personal serving. A normal sized personal serving will run you $6-7, not $10.
This shows Phil is either misrepresenting the price of their single servings (claiming $10 after tax or something), or both he and Kat ate a quart of ice cream each, which is small little cup to them. You be the judge. I've already decided myself.
He’s 5’11” and thinks size 11-13 shoes are HUGE. He thinks every inch of average is huge. Now I see why he’s so angry all the time. It’s ok Phil. Size isn’t everything.
If you're 5'11" and size 13 shoes then you're a clown. I'm 6'3" and only take 11.
He really does celebrate mediocrity. It’s puzzling. Normal people learn to accept average and move on with their lives. This dunce is so afflicted with self-deception he thinks every excruciating detail of his life is compelling and noteworthy. I wonder if he was brought up this way, praised by indulgent parents for winning participation trophies. It’s plausible…after all they had no other children to dote on.
Phil’s mental growth is obviously severely stunted, maybe he never got over being loved and rewarded for non-accomplishments. False praise creates dependency.
nothing about a size 13 is average big dog
I'm 5-11 and shoes/boots are a bit tricky for me because my foot is very wide so my sizes range from 12-14 depending on the brand
@@confusedbadger6275 No. You are smaller feet.
Him seeing double words I'm surprised he didn't think he was too drunk at the moment 😂
I think its a kink because he always belittles his mom..wife. He can find more and more ways to insult her. Ack ack ack
Very weird, but very on-brand for DSP
The HUNGER must be SATED
DEVOUR
DSP sounds like Squidward down to the tee, if Squidward were a person it would 100% be DSP.
That’s an insult to Squidward.
@@deadexo-3at least squidward can hold down a job?
@@DarldDaleSquidward has marketable skills.
But I like Squidward
Please don't compare him to Squidward. Squidward has a passion for fine arts. DSP has a passion for big sweaty men jpegs.
11:08 Perfect way to describe Khet and DSP... Thicc and Sawft...
Cold stone was packed in 08 too. Tobacco sales soar in bad economies.
The countless amount of INSIGNIFICANT info coming out of this hole is incredible.
DSP is gonna go nuts when he hears about Baskin "31" Robbins and their variety.
Cold Stone charging 10 bucks is a symptom of that inflation that doesn't exist according to DSP. He's got all the pieces and can't finish the puzzle, even though it only 2 pieces.
This man deadass calling ice cream "a food he's never had"
Philip can't even comprehend going into an ice cream store and not getting the largest size. He assumes everyone else in the store was spending over $10 each on ice cream.
So taking his wife out for a treat is too expensive if it's $20 LOL this guy never ceases to surprise me
When he goes “there was a lot of people in there”, all that was going through his mind was “why are they spending money here, they should be giving me tips on my streams”
Also, carhartt clothing is for real working men. I wear a carhartt coat in the winter time because I weld in a shop that has no heat. The heat is in the tools, and the carhartt is flame retardant and spark resistant
Can't wait for the next stream "Airline food, what is up with that stuff, amirite?"
Lets go Visual style only, no audio style today folks
The problem with being faster than sound
Shadowpuppet video.
DSP talking food is always the worst. Boomer level conversations
I love his noise filter, when he acks it accentuates it far more!
As a mint Chip lover, I'm glad to hear that the ol' faithful denied Phil any joy. I just wish it didn't take 20 minutes for him to tell me.
Dsp: "I'm an American."
Yeah dsp thanks for the info. We totally would of never figured that out
I gotta say... I did not see a story about a Coldstone IceCream visit turning into a commentary regarding his doubt about the true severity of the inflation Americans are struggling with.
I don't think anyone had that on their bingo card.
I grew up poor and that made me terrified to spend money when I got a job out of fear that it would happen again if I made a mistake... but I 100% would be willing to spend $10 one time to try some ice-cream and make myself feel good. That's a little less than an hour work for a retail and customer service style individual such as myself. He is definitely trying to sneak in a beg by being fake poor again.
Also. I sell Carhartts at work. They, on average, cost between 25-50 dollars where I work. I get working on your sexy, but they are working shirts NOT WORK ON YOUR SEXY SHIRTS. Dude spent so much money on a work shirt that he's just gonna wear casually doing fucking nothing ... but 10$ on ice cream is too much. I'd rather go buy a pack of white tees at walmart and practice my Lord Moist Impression.
@@soulmare333yeah, I made a comment about carhartt. They are for dudes who work outside or in shitty environments because they need to take abuse. I have a coat that my wife got me about 7 years ago and it’s a bit beat up but worth every penny. I’m a welder in a shop that has no heat in the winter and no AC in the summer
Oh yeah! We got alot of Shirt Lore!
It will always be pathetic how this "thing" can pretend to be eternally poor, but lets talk about my 10$ Ice that i got on my day off, Jesus fucking Christ, how can someone be so fucking unaware.
He got $500 worth of Hogans that day too
"My eyes hurt when I look into the sun"
I lost it lmfao 🤣🤣🤣
DSP the desesperate for content, views, money, wife, games, triple AAA, indies, money. subs, tier, vest goal, money, assert dominance, clout, chase drama, gout, money, room mate, reack... guy.
I buy clothes online quite a lot, though I sometimes physically visit a store as well. Every online purchase so far has a test period where you are able to try the clothes to see if they fit. If they don’t, you get a refund or change it for a different size.
DSP really shows he has zero clue about what he’s talking about.
Even forgetting the Hogans, didn't he spend $70 on a sandwich? Enough for a full-priced game to help 'the business'.
Uh yes
so phil takes the time to explains something they got in a ice cream shop ... he acts like he found something new nobody has seen before
shout out all my duck waddling things
So to recap the guy's adventure at Coldstone:
-Goes to an ice cream parlor for lunch despite not having a sweet tooth
-Doesn't read the menu to see what he's ordering
-Orders 2 large ice creams to "share" despite not having a sweet tooth
-Doesnt watch the people make his order which would make him realize they added things he wasn't aware of (because he didn't read the menu)
-Immediately doesn't like either flavor of ice cream because he doesn't like sweet things
-Complains that 2 large ice cream cost him $10
-Complains that people are buying ice cream when money is tight (even though his income is based on people having extra money to spend)
-Compares Cold Stone prices to the price of a Blizzard from when he was young (demonstrating his business degree by showing how little he understands inflation)
-Seethes at how successful this thing he doesn't like is on stream
Hey. He can accord so many shirts because he doesn't need to buy pants!
The Guy needs glasses SO bad!
He literally can't see anything, which makes him completely illiterate and incompetent.
He has to laugh at others and lash out at them. Ive never seen anyone else do that
I don't recall ever hearing DSP tell a story where he looked at the price of something, said it was too much and walked away.
He's always trying to walk the non-existent line of being super poor, but also super successful.
7:38 As someone that didn’t drink, started drinking too much and then quit drinking - the reason he doesn’t have sweet tooth is because he drinks too much. “As I got older” is his bodies way of saying there is too much sugar coming in.
He really just blabs on himself without realizing it doesn’t he?
I reckon that after so many years of gin abuse, most of his taste buds are likely either dead or damaged.
When he's ranting about how expensive cold stone is, it really comes off as he's shaming his dents for not tipping him. "Inflation is bad but clearly people have enough money to splurge on ice cream"
Jesus Christ new DSP lore just dropped. 40-year-old man who's apparently survived off of willpower alone has tried ice cream for the first time. Blows my mind these dents pay him to hear this crap.
11:31 Blood really out here explaining ice cream.
lol DSP trying to turn buying ice cream into a 30 minute epic ramble to fill time. You can tell he talks just to try filling time and make it longer.
So wait.. mint chocolate chip with fudge AND brownies was OK but the chocolate chip cookie dough was WAY too sweet for him?
Yea I'm calling bullshit..
"Nontent." BEAUTIFUL!!!!
He squeezed a story out of having an ice cream. Gosh...
Biggest of ups. Stay ucey. Random cold stone super outta nowhere
Used to go to coldstone a lot in high school. Literally, the only way to get something over 10 dollars would be a large cup in a waffle bowl or put like 5-7 toppings in a build your own. Went a few months ago, a medium was still well under 10.
This is how you dont stream variety content
WTH is he even trying to say? Dude jesus its freaking ice cream not disabling a bomb
When Phil says he's shopping at a "secondhand store" he's definitely talking about like TJ Maxx or Ross, right? I don't believe Phil is shopping at Goodwill.
Also, him describing clothes being in "sized sections" is one of the most alien things I've ever heard. How else do you sell clothes?
Ah he's complaining about the cost of ice cream and saying if people have issues with money why would they buy ice cream and not be tipping him instead.
Boy is really out there pigsplaining ice cream. Really shows how he views his core audience - as dents...
Gotta love him describing the most mundane events like they are even remotely challenging
Piggy is really out here talking about random strangers spending ten bucks on ice cream, then gets ultra defensive when people criticize his money habits. *Crazy work.*
Low key, I think he was hating on the Coldstone customers for spending money on a quality product instead of giving him money for sweaty man jpgs.
While we all knew Phil is a coward him feeling like being in a Coldstone Creamery and seeing the price but instead of leaving like a normal person thinks he's somehow trapped and they tricked him into paying when he is at fault for this. Not to mention I get the medium size there and that's a lot for one person I feel and here's Phil and his mom chowing down on the large sizes together.
And no way Phil is going to share with Kat because girls have cooties.
It feels so surreal to that DSP thinks talking about ice-cream and clothing sizes are something anyone wants to listen to. Thank you for the video, Skeleton.
Glad you enjoyed it 🙏
I've been watching 7:37 over and over. such odd alien delivery. WTH is FROOO? 🤣
also the lithp is out of control
OMG, I lost my shit at 29:44. I laughed so damn hard!!!
A random cold stone creamery in a parking lot? Peak derp
Has DSP ever had ice cream because he’s explaining it like he’s never had it before
Jerry sinfeld be like : wHaT iS uP wiTh tHesE clOthIng SizEs amirite?
9:04 “thumbthing”