Working on other areas of your life when you realised you’re getting too obsessed over a crush has to be one of the best practical advice so far (as obvious as it may sound)
Honestly guys, after watching this video literally I apologised to myself, apologised to my inner child that I have been damaging with a lot of criticism and self doubts I didn't realise that I was actually hurting my inner child and I apologised, cried and accepted my faults and I told my inner child that no, we're going to get through this. The reassurance I wanted from that other person, I gave it to my inner child that I will fix everything I have been very bad with you I have been very toxic with you but not anymore I am going to make everything right and I love my self. Become a parent to your inner child they always needed. This video gave me a major breakthrough. Can't thank enough 🙏🏻
I'm currently trying to prevent myself from obsessing over someone I can't be with. You are spot on when it comes to trying to focus on other things that are happening in my life. It can be difficult at times but I will have to try harder. This will be something I will have to talk with my therapist. What the other person has given me was support and a friend I never had growing up. Supportive, has similarities with me and trustworthy. I've been there before and I can surely get pass this as well.
@mintandpineapples Things are going well as they should. Unfortunately, the person I was trying to not obsess over turned out to show their true colors. It hurts to know the truth and learn about their reality, but grateful to be free. I can continue carrying on and hope I find someone better and worth my time.
@@diegomendoza1975 Maybe you can find useful knowing more about limerance and the root of it and how we use it to avoid dealing with our unresolved issues. Limerance and crushes are related in my opinion.
1. It's very logical, but I think limerance results from unresolved trauma. Obsession is projection, right. Having free time or working full time, if you are in stuck in limerance, temporality isn't going to change much of your internal fantasy. You'll just be exhausted, and obsessed, I'm sorry to say. But your idea of a brainstorm of other areas of life is wonderful and helps the subject to visualise alternatives. Exactly. 2. Media and marketing has a vested interest in creating an ideology of Romanticism, yeah? Maintain status anxiety and relative positioning (especially among the bourgeois). People go for unavailable people because again of unresolved (usually childhood) trauma. It's much easier to have a parasocial relationship of pure fantasy than the practical reality of negotiating an honest intimacy. But this fantasy is a trauma response because of neglectful or absent parents, so you as a kid go into a fantasy world of love and hugs etc in order to survive the emotional deficiency of parents, no. Further, I think also being expectant of rules in relationships, is simply a projection of one's own lack of self love. Because isn't it, strangely, easier to love the Other person than to love yourself. That doesn't mean though that you are saved from insecurities, in fact, it hyperfocalizes them often, because unlike your interior self, you cannot control your external lover. No matter how hard you try (or delude yourself into thinking you can). 3. Conditional trauma of parental drama. (i.e. you like drama because as a kid you saw your parents in drama, and as such that is your perception of normal, hence its your expectation going into both relationships but more broadly, life.) This is, as you say, a trauma response. Shadow work, then inner child work, is primarily just feeling it, not thinking it. Hence why these forms of self awareness are so potent and productive. All the answers to the questions are just below the surface. I think, as with almost everything both in psychology and in life, you simply have to be: Honest.
5:10 she nails the issue right on the head. Scary how relatable this advice was because I have never met you, talked about my life, and yet it feels like you know me better than I know myself.
Here's my thing. My obsession hasn't gotten to a point where I would think for a second I had a chance with them nor do I think they care about me. Yet, I'm still obsessed. I'm obsessed with the joy that watching their content and following what their share on SM. I'm obsessed with the years of virtual memories I made with strangers online over this person. I was a child when I first discovered them, and I didn't realize it would get this bad. Your brutal words about me having no life and too much free time is so true. I'm just struggling to fill in that free time because I'm so lonely and don't know how to make friends. It's so so hard ):
Thank you so much for sharing ur story. It is hard to see ourselves from an outer perspective. We live in our emotions. Don't be to hard on yourself and I recommend all her videos so good. I've been totally broken and have came so far I sometimes don't recognize myself. Keep up the great work and I'm wishing for you the best!
1. Yes i had a lot of free time. 2. I am influenced by Bollywood love stories. 3. I love arguing with my boyfriend, seeking love, waiting for texts, i follow those unwritten rules! God, I'm so stupid!
I was loved and cared for as a child, unconditionally. However after ending my relationship of 23 years which was devoid of any validation, love or care due to chronic cheating behavior of partner, I feel a vacuum. I am developing other aspects of my life like going for a Professional course, spending time with family and trying to seek a job. I still do feel the need to engage with someone but avoid it as I can sense it will not be good for me. When do we feel we are enough and how? I have not engaged in any addictive behavior but still feel a void that must be filled.
What a timing. I needed this so much. Part one was helping me, fell into a small hole tonight and then your video showed up. You’re amazing! Thank you!!
I understand that sometimes we are obsessing over someone because of something we lack but then I have the question of, then does true love exist? So when we love someone that means we don’t really love them we are just lacking? Because I feel that I actually love someone for who he truly is. He is just perfect even in his faults. His voice, his looks, his character, his spirit. I believe I love him for who he is.
Francesca, I will be honest. Few months ago when one oh your shorts appeared on my feed, I clicked it despite the fact I qualified you as "discoteque girl". In my vocabulary, especially in this context it was not a compliment. Then I was surprised. Clicked subscribe. And today, despite my interest in psychology, I got to know something new. I heard about dopamime. I heard about obsessive personalities, but I never combined these two in the way, or in the context that was presented here. Thank you.
I have this toxic pattern where i imagine myself into a scenario with someone who is fictional or impossible to get(k drama characters) i imagine myself talking to them being loved by them etc...what is the solution for this as this habit is literally ruining my life!
Tysm for making these videos on obsessing over someone. I’ve been in therapy about this issue but never received the answers as to why this happens. Your videos have really opened my eyes to what is actually going on. It’s made such a difference and shift in my perspective. I didn’t realise how much unhealed childhood trauma I still carry in my adulthood. It’s the reason why I struggle so much in relationships.
Smile, walk with your attitude (not gangster for example, but like Buddha maybe?), Open yourself to others, ask them: what's your name (then remember it like a prayer), look them in the eyes (gentle, not intense stare) and ask simply - "tell me the story of your life". Practice this. Relax your body as you talk, and especially as you listen to them. Also, wear red or a bright yellow, and it will make people look at you and soon you will see that you have no need to be shy. People are usually just as shy as you, they are just faking not being shy, in order to get through the day. Finally, never desire to be anyone's equal. Learn to be yourself: go into yourself and ask if there was no praise and no blame from others to me, who then would I be? And then, be whoever that is every day until you create your own self, your own style. Just be. You're already worthy, you're already perfect. Good luck 😊
Yes these is what I am doing😱😱😱😱😱😱 thanks for waking up to reality lady u r great these is what I exactly wanted to change but my mind don't want to escape.
I hope if you can make a video of making ourself, self-sufficient Or a mindset that we need to adapt to make it possible I feel like 90% of such problems can be solved with this
You can have hobbies, interesting life, friends but deep down you know and feel something is missing. Humans, souls are split to man and woman, energy. Rare people could and would choose solitude and live that way, especially women. Most people want to find their other half, soul of their group. Obsession is not healthy for that person spiritually but it is sign that it wants desperately relationship or there was maybe past life connection, it depends on situation.
im clingy because i hate being by myself. i have spent past decade alone a lot the moment i get opportunity just to be present with another human i take it.
Hello Ma'am, I am really thankful to you for sharing such info ☺️☺️ I was obsessing over an online person whom I never met in real life and was ignoring my day to day activities and things which I actually liked to do like drawing, reading, singing etc . Your video made me realise that I have more power over my emotions and actions as an adult and these days I am trying to learn more about my inner child and identify any negative memories that are holding me back 😁🤓.
Richard Cooper has said something very similar to that first minute of ur video. Yes we do indeed need to diversify our lives to other areas! Brilliant Francesca! The partner is not the focus, we need to make our lives more interesting for our own overall health 😁
This is such a fact about the inner child the strange part being unavailable or unattainable is that being the most precious part of the quality and self well-being of someone is how is it biligerent spite becomes issued from our most endearing special friends lover family whomever in form to burn people out and relationships become harmful fires without resources to put them out. Really it's such a problem the we lose the elertness of respect sometimes; excellent video MY FRIEND!
and there are people like me who are fundamentally f**ked up. i have so many islands to care for and of course they are interesting, yet still relationships pillar my life
At every phase of life , we have high priority on certain thing at that phase.... You cant distract when u are in 25-30 , and you already have job , money , friends n hobbies , but partner missing in life for long time ....
What if one has no passions? How can she find out what she wants to do with her life without passions? And what if one can't get into a relationship with that person because they live in a different country?
@@jennifermartin4505 bravo for an actual helpful comment. Not like the one above. And yes, I agree with you. Getting out of one's comfort zone can bring discovery and passions
I dont have friends and I DONT WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS, Im really good alone, never I was intresserad of friends, I go shopping alone, I have many hobbies, I have fun alone, I dont need fake people, best wishes
I found the concept of limerance confusing at first but now I know it's a way to distract myself in order to not deal with my own issues. Of course it's more complex than idealizating someone you don't know and who is unavailable and unattainable but in a way, obsessing about someone you don't know well it's another way to avoid yourself and it has a lot to do with childhood fantasies that helped you to dissociate of a harsh past reality.
Tnq Francesca presently i m also in obsession of some person after break up one month past, i know that she is not my league, but still i donno y ,i m obsessed with her,. Ur videos are helping me analyze my thoughts, i have hope that , i can come over this obsession very soon.
My sex drive is through the roof, yet there is no one in my environment I’m so much as remotely interested in. That being said, I’ve developed an increasingly obsessive crush on my personal trainer because of all the physicality of our sessions together. The crazy thing is that I have absolutely no intention or wish to date him; he’s way too young, and he’s a great trainer who I would HATE to lose for some stupid-ass fling. And YET… I STILL obsess over him! I’ve been on break for the past two weeks so maybe that’s got something to do with the recent spike… but I’m not sure. I hate this situation. Any advice?
I never thought about it like that I simp over every girl I get with or even talk to this is good insight tho especially the oart about my childhood this is deep fr
Thank you for making this video. I wished I have seen it sooner and let myself fall for unavailable guy who just strung me along until I caught feelings and get hurt because I let him be the centre
Thank you. I made notes whilst watching the last and this video- I did do the exercise you suggested about writing what I like about him , and islands etc I appreciate your help and input
This is very practical, as well as the part 1. I'm taking from here the exercise of writing in a page about what realms I have in my life and what do I want to focus more. From the 1st part I'm going to write down what that guy has that I want to have in myself and I'll start working on it. I have a clear list of it, I literally want to be HIM and to have HIS life since I don't have it. Just the acknowledgment of these things makes a big difference! Thank you! I'd like to know more about how to connect the inner child, and how to solve these problems or at least acknowledge them and start working on a change :) Again, thank you very much! And by the way, I've just subscribed to your Instagram channel!
idk there's been other people i was into or felt hurt when we fell out but not like this one person definitely a different kind of obsession that I still don't fully understand because when you asked me what that part of me actually needed I thought to be loved and then I was like but is thst it, I already love myself and know people love me, and then I just thought of his name...but I don't actually need him right? like I know I won't die without him and I know I can still create a great life without him but I want him so bad it does feel like a need sometimes I guess but yeah idk the obsession I habe for this person is stronger than I have had for anyone in this lifetime that I can recall I wish I understood it more, I do think I need to get busy with getting a life though so that's still great advice
I wasn’t really raised by my parents growing up and I’ve never seen healthy relationships. I’ve always thought that Disney movies had something to do with my idealized ideas of relationships.
I still don’t understand the concept of giving myself love, mothering me, healing me. I’ve been to therapy and alternative therapies my whole life and still feel stuck in the process. It’s like I’m addicted ti healing and self help but never heal.
Thank you for your videos... Please I'm interested in what you said about "our parents voice become our internal voice" please do a video how you can stop it having that voice in your head when growing up so you wouldn't pass it to your child too...😩🙏🏽 Please I hope you see me.. Many thanks again for this great video.. you are so beautiful 💐💖🙏🏽
Seriously it’s so so true n exactly it’s like just my situation rn it was very helpful indeed pls continue ur videos they’re so relatable 🙌🏻n all the best 😊
Question : How to reduce or whats the deeper meaning of loving someone intensively ? Personally its hard for me to open up to someone in a loving way but once i let them near me i take care of them and show too much love even if they stop loving me i still have so much love to give regardless...
Dive deep into loving yourself and setting boundaries for youself. I've been here and trust me just be cause you love them doesn't mean they deserve it. If they don't appreciate you after they have seen your depth of love then after you do the work you'll get someone way better. Just take the time to heal first before you go after love! Best to you!
Thank you Francesca. I have a proposal for the future video. Is it possible to share various (as much as you can and time allows) examples of how we can satisfy needs of our inner child (ie: attention, appreciation, motivation, love etc.)? I also would like to learn/know the techniques of how to connect to our inner child and get the answer about their unsatisfied needs. Thank you!
I think it's fine and understandable to focus on a relationship as the main thing, but obsessing over fictional characters,celebs and unavailable people is pointless. Also many ppl regret focusing on career too much
I am very pleased for this information. You just give me the answer on how take you out of my mind. I know you know it but you are beautiful. And i know you are tired of people telling you this.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Seriously now i like how you explained this information. It is easy to understand. You are a good comunicator. Blessings!!!!!!!
Please make a video about being stuck in the cycle of being together breaking up over and over again. Kids are involved and not sure how to stop the cycle. I want things to work but everytime she comes back into my life she leaves. She says I’m not a safe place I don’t validate her feelings I’m not healed she says I’m not allowing her to be in her feminine energy. When she leaves, there’s always new partners involved. I try to move on but then she comes back. I can’t talk to her because she gets upset when we talk about touchy subjects. I don’t know what to do it’s been almost 9 years of this
Working on other areas of your life when you realised you’re getting too obsessed over a crush has to be one of the best practical advice so far (as obvious as it may sound)
Honestly guys, after watching this video literally I apologised to myself, apologised to my inner child that I have been damaging with a lot of criticism and self doubts I didn't realise that I was actually hurting my inner child and I apologised, cried and accepted my faults and I told my inner child that no, we're going to get through this. The reassurance I wanted from that other person, I gave it to my inner child that I will fix everything I have been very bad with you I have been very toxic with you but not anymore I am going to make everything right and I love my self. Become a parent to your inner child they always needed. This video gave me a major breakthrough. Can't thank enough 🙏🏻
Ur cmnt is save me thankewww
I'm currently trying to prevent myself from obsessing over someone I can't be with. You are spot on when it comes to trying to focus on other things that are happening in my life. It can be difficult at times but I will have to try harder. This will be something I will have to talk with my therapist. What the other person has given me was support and a friend I never had growing up. Supportive, has similarities with me and trustworthy. I've been there before and I can surely get pass this as well.
How is it going, may i ask?
@mintandpineapples Things are going well as they should. Unfortunately, the person I was trying to not obsess over turned out to show their true colors. It hurts to know the truth and learn about their reality, but grateful to be free. I can continue carrying on and hope I find someone better and worth my time.
@@diegomendoza1975
Maybe you can find useful knowing more about limerance and the root of it and how we use it to avoid dealing with our unresolved issues. Limerance and crushes are related in my opinion.
ive only watched 3 videos of this woman AND OMFG!!! explained in such simple terms yet hits right to the core. BRILLIANT!!!
1. It's very logical, but I think limerance results from unresolved trauma. Obsession is projection, right. Having free time or working full time, if you are in stuck in limerance, temporality isn't going to change much of your internal fantasy. You'll just be exhausted, and obsessed, I'm sorry to say. But your idea of a brainstorm of other areas of life is wonderful and helps the subject to visualise alternatives. Exactly.
2. Media and marketing has a vested interest in creating an ideology of Romanticism, yeah? Maintain status anxiety and relative positioning (especially among the bourgeois). People go for unavailable people because again of unresolved (usually childhood) trauma. It's much easier to have a parasocial relationship of pure fantasy than the practical reality of negotiating an honest intimacy. But this fantasy is a trauma response because of neglectful or absent parents, so you as a kid go into a fantasy world of love and hugs etc in order to survive the emotional deficiency of parents, no. Further, I think also being expectant of rules in relationships, is simply a projection of one's own lack of self love. Because isn't it, strangely, easier to love the Other person than to love yourself. That doesn't mean though that you are saved from insecurities, in fact, it hyperfocalizes them often, because unlike your interior self, you cannot control your external lover. No matter how hard you try (or delude yourself into thinking you can).
3. Conditional trauma of parental drama. (i.e. you like drama because as a kid you saw your parents in drama, and as such that is your perception of normal, hence its your expectation going into both relationships but more broadly, life.) This is, as you say, a trauma response. Shadow work, then inner child work, is primarily just feeling it, not thinking it. Hence why these forms of self awareness are so potent and productive. All the answers to the questions are just below the surface. I think, as with almost everything both in psychology and in life, you simply have to be: Honest.
Whew!!! That “going for people who are unavailable” statement was spot on! Everything else too but that one hit home!
Same with me...i need to work on that one.
5:10 she nails the issue right on the head. Scary how relatable this advice was because I have never met you, talked about my life, and yet it feels like you know me better than I know myself.
Here's my thing. My obsession hasn't gotten to a point where I would think for a second I had a chance with them nor do I think they care about me. Yet, I'm still obsessed. I'm obsessed with the joy that watching their content and following what their share on SM. I'm obsessed with the years of virtual memories I made with strangers online over this person. I was a child when I first discovered them, and I didn't realize it would get this bad. Your brutal words about me having no life and too much free time is so true. I'm just struggling to fill in that free time because I'm so lonely and don't know how to make friends. It's so so hard ):
Thank you so much for sharing ur story. It is hard to see ourselves from an outer perspective. We live in our emotions. Don't be to hard on yourself and I recommend all her videos so good. I've been totally broken and have came so far I sometimes don't recognize myself. Keep up the great work and I'm wishing for you the best!
I agree with everything just not sure how it will destroy the idealism just by been with the person Ur obsessed with ?
Pretty much like me at the moment. We must focus on ourselves only. Difficult but we have to win for our sanity. x
Thank You Francesca. To realize that people are now expressing the dramatic need toward our mental well being is an encouragement to strive ahead.
1. Yes i had a lot of free time.
2. I am influenced by Bollywood love stories.
3. I love arguing with my boyfriend, seeking love, waiting for texts, i follow those unwritten rules!
God, I'm so stupid!
Same here im obsessed with bollywood movies and ofc srk🤣
I was loved and cared for as a child, unconditionally. However after ending my relationship of 23 years which was devoid of any validation, love or care due to chronic cheating behavior of partner, I feel a vacuum. I am developing other aspects of my life like going for a Professional course, spending time with family and trying to seek a job. I still do feel the need to engage with someone but avoid it as I can sense it will not be good for me. When do we feel we are enough and how? I have not engaged in any addictive behavior but still feel a void that must be filled.
What a timing. I needed this so much. Part one was helping me, fell into a small hole tonight and then your video showed up. You’re amazing! Thank you!!
You earned yourself a new follower. Your energy, your rational and professionalism are just exemplary. 😍
I understand that sometimes we are obsessing over someone because of something we lack but then I have the question of, then does true love exist? So when we love someone that means we don’t really love them we are just lacking? Because I feel that I actually love someone for who he truly is. He is just perfect even in his faults. His voice, his looks, his character, his spirit. I believe I love him for who he is.
Francesca, I will be honest. Few months ago when one oh your shorts appeared on my feed, I clicked it despite the fact I qualified you as "discoteque girl". In my vocabulary, especially in this context it was not a compliment. Then I was surprised. Clicked subscribe. And today, despite my interest in psychology, I got to know something new. I heard about dopamime. I heard about obsessive personalities, but I never combined these two in the way, or in the context that was presented here. Thank you.
this was incredibly insightful & i definitely did rewind a few times 😂 i appreciate the simplistic ways you have of summing up complicated topics 🧡
I have this toxic pattern where i imagine myself into a scenario with someone who is fictional or impossible to get(k drama characters) i imagine myself talking to them being loved by them etc...what is the solution for this as this habit is literally ruining my life!
Learn about limerance and of course, inner child work is essential.
This is sooo 100% true! Thank u again Francesca! Once again, so educational & eye-opening!!
Honestly saw your beautiful and meaningful video for the first time and I’m obsessed!!!
Hahaha so true 😅 I thought the same
😂
Tysm for making these videos on obsessing over someone. I’ve been in therapy about this issue but never received the answers as to why this happens. Your videos have really opened my eyes to what is actually going on. It’s made such a difference and shift in my perspective. I didn’t realise how much unhealed childhood trauma I still carry in my adulthood. It’s the reason why I struggle so much in relationships.
Wo, great video. Thank you for this great informative tips.
And Just like that, after watching this video, am now even more obsessed with this Channel.
How to be bold and stop being shy .courage in everything and any situation is crucial for living happy
Smile, walk with your attitude (not gangster for example, but like Buddha maybe?), Open yourself to others, ask them: what's your name (then remember it like a prayer), look them in the eyes (gentle, not intense stare) and ask simply - "tell me the story of your life". Practice this. Relax your body as you talk, and especially as you listen to them.
Also, wear red or a bright yellow, and it will make people look at you and soon you will see that you have no need to be shy. People are usually just as shy as you, they are just faking not being shy, in order to get through the day. Finally, never desire to be anyone's equal. Learn to be yourself: go into yourself and ask if there was no praise and no blame from others to me, who then would I be? And then, be whoever that is every day until you create your own self, your own style. Just be. You're already worthy, you're already perfect. Good luck 😊
@@thekajalflaneur well said...
@@thekajalflaneur thanx but it is ego .thats not as easy as you say. Its so much deeper. And in men is so much harder .
Yes these is what I am doing😱😱😱😱😱😱 thanks for waking up to reality lady u r great these is what I exactly wanted to change but my mind don't want to escape.
Masterpiece. Very helpful. Thank you. I better go back to work on my goals. 💪
You definitely read my mind. Everything you pointed out is what ive been experiencing. Your video has helped me to rewire my brain
You are so knowledgable in psychology! Thanks for your video
So trueee 🤧😭😭😭..gurl so happy I found your channel
I hope if you can make a video of making ourself, self-sufficient Or a mindset that we need to adapt to make it possible I feel like 90% of such problems can be solved with this
You can have hobbies, interesting life, friends but deep down you know and feel something is missing. Humans, souls are split to man and woman, energy. Rare people could and would choose solitude and live that way, especially women. Most people want to find their other half, soul of their group. Obsession is not healthy for that person spiritually but it is sign that it wants desperately relationship or there was maybe past life connection, it depends on situation.
im clingy because i hate being by myself. i have spent past decade alone a lot the moment i get opportunity just to be present with another human i take it.
You don't have to act girly or paint yourself. You are doing great.
Don't mind those advisers. My unsolicited advice.
Hello Ma'am, I am really thankful to you for sharing such info ☺️☺️ I was obsessing over an online person whom I never met in real life and was ignoring my day to day activities and things which I actually liked to do like drawing, reading, singing etc . Your video made me realise that I have more power over my emotions and actions as an adult and these days I am trying to learn more about my inner child and identify any negative memories that are holding me back 😁🤓.
I am in the same position right now 😔
How to make inner child more safe when you really don't know where to start and what to do. Need the safety aspect in more detail ❤️❤️
This is exactly what I needed to hear , when I needed to hear it. Thank you ❤
Richard Cooper has said something very similar to that first minute of ur video. Yes we do indeed need to diversify our lives to other areas! Brilliant Francesca! The partner is not the focus, we need to make our lives more interesting for our own overall health 😁
This is such a fact about the inner child the strange part being unavailable or unattainable is that being the most precious part of the quality and self well-being of someone is how is it biligerent spite becomes issued from our most endearing special friends lover family whomever in form to burn people out and relationships become harmful fires without resources to put them out. Really it's such a problem the we lose the elertness of respect sometimes; excellent video MY FRIEND!
This girl is so wise ❤
This was so relatable. Every word makes sense
and there are people like me who are fundamentally f**ked up. i have so many islands to care for and of course they are interesting, yet still relationships pillar my life
At every phase of life , we have high priority on certain thing at that phase....
You cant distract when u are in 25-30 , and you already have job , money , friends n hobbies , but partner missing in life for long time ....
Best video! Really addressed all my issues!
One of the most important video I've ever seen. Thank u
Great work n brilliantly explained in simple words... many thanks.
What if one has no passions? How can she find out what she wants to do with her life without passions? And what if one can't get into a relationship with that person because they live in a different country?
Why on earth would you ever want a relationship with someone in another country?
Trying new things is a great way to figure out what you like and finding passion.
@@jennifermartin4505 bravo for an actual helpful comment. Not like the one above. And yes, I agree with you. Getting out of one's comfort zone can bring discovery and passions
@@anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788 thank you ☺️
@@SteveWKk he/she might meant long distance relationship.. their lover/ partner lives in another country for work, study maybe
I dont have friends and I DONT WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS, Im really good alone, never I was intresserad of friends, I go shopping alone, I have many hobbies, I have fun alone, I dont need fake people, best wishes
I used to be the same but sadly, cupid caught me with one of his arrows and i am still trying to pull it out. I want to be lone wolf again.
Dismissive avoidant?:)
@@Celinah 🤣✋
@@topps9647 ❤️🔥
I'm obsessed with your beauty and your incredible voice 😅... But seriously your content is amazing!
I found the concept of limerance confusing at first but now I know it's a way to distract myself in order to not deal with my own issues. Of course it's more complex than idealizating someone you don't know and who is unavailable and unattainable but in a way, obsessing about someone you don't know well it's another way to avoid yourself and it has a lot to do with childhood fantasies that helped you to dissociate of a harsh past reality.
My god i love you, i needed this so much. You're truly an angel. Keep shining and growing
Tnq Francesca presently i m also in obsession of some person after break up one month past, i know that she is not my league, but still i donno y ,i m obsessed with her,. Ur videos are helping me analyze my thoughts, i have hope that , i can come over this obsession very soon.
My sex drive is through the roof, yet there is no one in my environment I’m so much as remotely interested in. That being said, I’ve developed an increasingly obsessive crush on my personal trainer because of all the physicality of our sessions together. The crazy thing is that I have absolutely no intention or wish to date him; he’s way too young, and he’s a great trainer who I would HATE to lose for some stupid-ass fling. And YET… I STILL obsess over him! I’ve been on break for the past two weeks so maybe that’s got something to do with the recent spike… but I’m not sure. I hate this situation. Any advice?
She literally mentioned in the video to have other passions and hobbies
@@munchkinsophie Oh, but I do! But they only help so much!
very helpful information. thank you! i must heal my inner child.
I'm so obsessed with you.... Such a great learning experience in your videos.... ❤❤
Thank you so much for explaining the levels of our thoughts so deeply....this might help me get rid of my problems...
I never thought about it like that I simp over every girl I get with or even talk to this is good insight tho especially the oart about my childhood this is deep fr
Francesca, I feel as though you see through me in every video! Please stick to YT. It’s here to stay, unlike Instagram 🙌🏼
Thank you for making this video. I wished I have seen it sooner and let myself fall for unavailable guy who just strung me along until I caught feelings and get hurt because I let him be the centre
I needed this the most ❤❤❤❤ thanks a lot but I can't express how dramatic things were going but now I am so relief
Thank you. I made notes whilst watching the last and this video- I did do the exercise you suggested about writing what I like about him , and islands etc
I appreciate your help and input
Sweetheart thanks for helping me in this tough time love from Pakistan ❤
More seriously, I am living this exact situation right now. Very hard... I will try to use your advice. Thanks.
This is very practical, as well as the part 1. I'm taking from here the exercise of writing in a page about what realms I have in my life and what do I want to focus more. From the 1st part I'm going to write down what that guy has that I want to have in myself and I'll start working on it. I have a clear list of it, I literally want to be HIM and to have HIS life since I don't have it. Just the acknowledgment of these things makes a big difference! Thank you!
I'd like to know more about how to connect the inner child, and how to solve these problems or at least acknowledge them and start working on a change :)
Again, thank you very much!
And by the way, I've just subscribed to your Instagram channel!
Thank you for these gems. And for giving me back what I lost as a child. 🙏♥️
Francesca, you are amazing and sorted in your diagnosis, and easy with your explanation and approach. Keep up the good work!
You are a gem❤
thank you for this part 2, i needed to hear it "get a life" basically but yeah you're right
idk there's been other people i was into or felt hurt when we fell out but not like this one person definitely a different kind of obsession that I still don't fully understand because when you asked me what that part of me actually needed I thought to be loved and then I was like but is thst it, I already love myself and know people love me, and then I just thought of his name...but I don't actually need him right? like I know I won't die without him and I know I can still create a great life without him but I want him so bad it does feel like a need sometimes I guess but yeah idk the obsession I habe for this person is stronger than I have had for anyone in this lifetime that I can recall I wish I understood it more, I do think I need to get busy with getting a life though so that's still great advice
You 💗 Are Famous in My World. You'll never Know. Thankyou Sweets 🌻
I think I'm obsessed with your content.
I needed to hear this! Thank you, Francesca you are sooo right.
I wasn’t really raised by my parents growing up and I’ve never seen healthy relationships. I’ve always thought that Disney movies had something to do with my idealized ideas of relationships.
MAKE ONE ON: JEALOUSY...PLEASE!!! 👍😉
I still don’t understand the concept of giving myself love, mothering me, healing me. I’ve been to therapy and alternative therapies my whole life and still feel stuck in the process. It’s like I’m addicted ti healing and self help but never heal.
This was a fire video. More of these please.
This was so on point!!!!!!
Wow..well articulated excellent video
I definetely would like a video about friendship. What it is? How to make and maintain one?
this video have changed my life
Thank you for your videos...
Please I'm interested in what you said about "our parents voice become our internal voice" please do a video how you can stop it having that voice in your head when growing up so you wouldn't pass it to your child too...😩🙏🏽
Please I hope you see me..
Many thanks again for this great video.. you are so beautiful 💐💖🙏🏽
Seriously it’s so so true n exactly it’s like just my situation rn it was very helpful indeed pls continue ur videos they’re so relatable 🙌🏻n all the best 😊
Question : How to reduce or whats the deeper meaning of loving someone intensively ? Personally its hard for me to open up to someone in a loving way but once i let them near me i take care of them and show too much love even if they stop loving me i still have so much love to give regardless...
the "sunken cost" fallacy might help with this a bit...
Dive deep into loving yourself and setting boundaries for youself. I've been here and trust me just be cause you love them doesn't mean they deserve it. If they don't appreciate you after they have seen your depth of love then after you do the work you'll get someone way better. Just take the time to heal first before you go after love! Best to you!
Smart advice and charming. Keep it up!
please make a video on why do we feel the need to be dominant and control our relationship
Thank you Francesca. I have a proposal for the future video. Is it possible to share various (as much as you can and time allows) examples of how we can satisfy needs of our inner child (ie: attention, appreciation, motivation, love etc.)? I also would like to learn/know the techniques of how to connect to our inner child and get the answer about their unsatisfied needs. Thank you!
this is very good!
Great video. We’ll explained & I never thought about these
Thank you...i can understand myself better now,🥰
What if I sacrificed and stopped doing so many things to be able to put all energy and time into the relationship 😞
You don't have enough self love 💕
Sooooooooooooo good francesca so relatable n simple n on point
I think it's fine and understandable to focus on a relationship as the main thing, but obsessing over fictional characters,celebs and unavailable people is pointless.
Also many ppl regret focusing on career too much
Absolutely brilliant. Thank you Francesca🤩
We definitely need videos on making new friends getting out of zone of traumas relating to friendships
What a great sharing ✨✨✨, really help overcome my obsession 👍, looking forward more of your content in future.✨
Thank you.. It was much needed 💜
I am very pleased for this information. You just give me the answer on how take you out of my mind. I know you know it but you are beautiful. And i know you are tired of people telling you this.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Seriously now i like how you explained this information. It is easy to understand. You are a good comunicator. Blessings!!!!!!!
I wanna just say you thank you so much ❤️Now I understood why this happens to me .lots of love 💕
🤣🤣🤣 lot of free time. that's true you got me.
My obsessive behaviour is because i go for unavailable people every time. Yes i understand that but am really struggling to control it.
Please make a video about being stuck in the cycle of being together breaking up over and over again. Kids are involved and not sure how to stop the cycle. I want things to work but everytime she comes back into my life she leaves. She says I’m not a safe place I don’t validate her feelings I’m not healed she says I’m not allowing her to be in her feminine energy. When she leaves, there’s always new partners involved. I try to move on but then she comes back. I can’t talk to her because she gets upset when we talk about touchy subjects. I don’t know what to do it’s been almost 9 years of this
Such a great video, it was really insightful 😮
We should be a little more obsessed with ourselves 🎉❤