r/Clevercomebacks | did jesus have pronouns?

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  • Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
  • Top posts from r/Clevercomebacks on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay ! Video credits below.
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Комментарии • 2,1 тыс.

  • @sundowner414
    @sundowner414 Год назад +5057

    I hate the fact that people genuinely don’t know that pronouns have been a genuine part of the English language for hundreds of years

    • @starrby7790
      @starrby7790 Год назад +509

      The only reason pronouns exist is so a person's name isn't repeated over and over again, which without would be more difficult to introduce more people and much more.

    • @xnyxiee1784
      @xnyxiee1784 Год назад +1

      People just read "pronouns" and automatically flip shit because they're uneducated mongrels that never paid attention to the entirety of the history of language.
      honestly it's hilarious, they're so quick to flip shit it makes it easy to spot societys biggest idiots.

    • @UltraCenterHQ
      @UltraCenterHQ Год назад +212

      @@starrby7790 hello
      I like to introduce
      doesn't like spaghetti

    • @TheBloxxedSanarcati
      @TheBloxxedSanarcati Год назад +182

      Twitter people who are making their fake pronouns like tharg/blarg, and pretending that they are stuff that they aren't:

    • @Cr102y
      @Cr102y Год назад +290

      @@TheBloxxedSanarcati Ah yes,I do love getting mad at people that don’t exist

  • @M_Alexander
    @M_Alexander Год назад +1167

    I'm so tired of women with muscles being accused of looking like men by men who don't have muscles

    • @UltraCenterHQ
      @UltraCenterHQ Год назад +175

      It's just dudes being insecure

    • @galaxygorl
      @galaxygorl Год назад +152

      "noooooo ur muscles make u look attractive but ur masculine and so i dont want to be aroused by itttttt"

    • @M_Alexander
      @M_Alexander Год назад +155

      @@galaxygorl when I see those guys I'll usually say "so if she looks like a man then why don't you look like that?" Makes them so mad

    • @radi709
      @radi709 Год назад +9

      😂😂😂

    • @anthonygamer-jg3wn
      @anthonygamer-jg3wn Год назад +24

      I like women with muscles, because i am a man with almost no muscles at all, i really want to be more strong

  • @xdarin_
    @xdarin_ Год назад +1937

    "At no time in history did men ever want women with ripped abs"
    Well, my friend, that time in history is now.

    • @aliencatmeow
      @aliencatmeow Год назад +264

      i mean buff women are hot. even from a logical standpoint. how does a guy want a skinny woman then expect her to do everything when she likely doesnt have any muscles to speak off? dunno what that guy's on about

    • @bumblebeeyellowdragon
      @bumblebeeyellowdragon Год назад +179

      Sparta might have some things to say about that.

    • @isaiaholaru5013
      @isaiaholaru5013 Год назад +30

      ​@@aliencatmeow I agree

    • @Sylfa
      @Sylfa Год назад +120

      It's such a weird hill to die on, "never did any" is disproved with a single counter-example.

    • @aliencatmeow
      @aliencatmeow Год назад +72

      @@Sylfa yeah, so weird. be bone thin because hurr durr men, but also wash dishes, take care of children, carry groceries etc etc. As if that's that easy for a stereotypically thin woman to do. Its bonkers

  • @Crudely-Drawn-Cupcake
    @Crudely-Drawn-Cupcake Год назад +1751

    I would use these in case someone at school insults me, but nobody bullies me anymore, and that’s a good thing!

    • @EpsteinPlays
      @EpsteinPlays Год назад +42

      The only reason i want to be bullied

    • @ii-sd1wx
      @ii-sd1wx Год назад +3

      Browtf

    • @TheMiningCrafter
      @TheMiningCrafter Год назад +25

      @@EpsteinPlays same lmao I have some good ones stuffed up in there that I want to see the reaction to but they require specific situations.

    • @aaydinturk
      @aaydinturk Год назад +15

      you're the smart kid.
      the quiet kid in the corner: "Shooting ranges are expensive..."

    • @Roo_Bear
      @Roo_Bear Год назад +5

      That is a good thing! But it sure would be interesting to use these comebacks against someone

  • @Irish_Enderman
    @Irish_Enderman Год назад +219

    14:23 in 2002 there were like 300 Pokémon, meanwhile how many thousands of wildlife species are there?
    50% is impressive

    • @Sylfa
      @Sylfa Год назад +37

      2.13 million species were described in 2021, 1.08 million if you exclude insects.
      I'm super impressed with anyone that can identify 0.1% let alone 50%!

    • @Good_Enough4
      @Good_Enough4 Год назад +23

      the key word is "common." So, in this case, it would be the wildlife (presumably not inclusive of insects and arachnids) that could be found on, and are native to, the British Isle.

    • @Irish_Enderman
      @Irish_Enderman Год назад +18

      @@Good_Enough4 good point, still more than there were Pokémon I'm sure, plus playing even just a single Pokémon game will help you get to know each one very quickly, whereas the c"common wildlife" you are less likely to hear about as often

    • @Ramtamtama
      @Ramtamtama Год назад

      @@Good_Enough4 it doesn't help that a small great tit looks identical to a fully grown blue tit

    • @Good_Enough4
      @Good_Enough4 Год назад

      @@Ramtamtama I'd much prefer a small tit over a blue tit

  • @_its_lunar_
    @_its_lunar_ Год назад +883

    The whole “doctor in gender studies or music or other thing I think is below me” is so baffling because there has always been more doctors in other fields than those in traditional medicine, the word literally is derived from the Latin for “teacher”, the whole association with medical treatment is a relatively recent thing, the title just indicates someone who is immensely qualified in their field. My high school Spanish teach was a doctor

    • @vjaceslavsavsjaniks6431
      @vjaceslavsavsjaniks6431 Год назад +35

      Also isn`t there MD for Medical Doctor in English?

    • @humand0969
      @humand0969 Год назад +2

      What are gender studies?

    • @_its_lunar_
      @_its_lunar_ Год назад +23

      @@vjaceslavsavsjaniks6431 it is a term used in the USA but most English speaking countries don’t use that title

    • @_its_lunar_
      @_its_lunar_ Год назад +35

      @@humand0969 Gender Studies is an academic field that’s interdisciplinary (meaning it can be applied to multiple other disciplines, usually things like history and anthropology) which generally examines the concept of gender norms, gender as a construct, the ideas of masculinity and femininity, gender as it pertains to the socioeconomic climate/hierarchy as well as analysing to the role gender has played throughout human history, humanity’s development and interpersonal relationships. Again, it’s often more of a lens applied to other disciplines, it ties a lot into feminist theory, sociology and anthropology. I hope that helps

    • @wedoalittletrolling4461
      @wedoalittletrolling4461 Год назад +4

      ​​​@@_its_lunar_ and we can thank John Money for its popularity. Cant have "Gender Studies" without "child abuse".

  • @flumfybud
    @flumfybud Год назад +74

    1:03 "Men's sexy fashion is literally just looking like we service people"
    Word choice my dude

  • @Femaiden
    @Femaiden Год назад +127

    6:15 "why isn't the younger generation falling for the diamond scam anymore?"
    there, i fixed it

    • @lilyhawthorne1196
      @lilyhawthorne1196 Год назад +22

      "Why isnt the younger generation buying overpriced and environmentally damaging blood diamonds when there are cheap lab diamonds that look almost exactly the same"

    • @AtomicArtumas
      @AtomicArtumas Год назад +14

      @@lilyhawthorne1196 exactly the same*
      You can legitimately only tell the difference between good ones under a microscope.
      ...and the lab ones usually look better.

    • @Apokalypse456
      @Apokalypse456 Год назад +14

      "why dont the people we force to live paycheck to paycheck spend a fortune on useless baubles"

    • @Oviause0713
      @Oviause0713 2 месяца назад +1

      Because you can shatter a diamond with a hammer from Home depot that cost you 10 bucks

  • @kauske
    @kauske Год назад +406

    8:00 Joke's on the boomers, I can drive stick and write cursive. I can also change my own tires & oil, butcher my own meat and about a dozen other non-computer skills that I know most boomers do not have. And on top of that, I'm not lost using computers and can fix most of my own issues or otherwise find instructions online to help solve said issues. It's called being motivated to learn new skills, something I know most boomers aren't.

    • @vjaceslavsavsjaniks6431
      @vjaceslavsavsjaniks6431 Год назад +8

      I found Dewalt charger for 1/6 of the price doing what most boomers can`t do. Online research and ordering.

    • @kauske
      @kauske Год назад +5

      @@vjaceslavsavsjaniks6431 To be fair, it's getting harder and harder to find anything for a decent price online, so much of it is cheap rubbish from wish marked up to a significant portion of the name-brand, plastered in fake reviews.
      You gotta know what to look for to spot the fake reviews and find decent off-brand stuff amongst the sea of swill. It's a great skill to have though, but a constant arms race.
      With new advances in AI writing, the fake reviews are only going to get harder to pick out too. I hate that we're in a race to the bottom where even big brands are just selling the same trash, but plastered in their logo.
      It's really bad if you're a tradesperson trying to get decent tools.

    • @walkerx1813
      @walkerx1813 Год назад +9

      I imagine you learned most, if not all, of those skills with information you obtained using a computer, which only makes it funnier...

    • @kauske
      @kauske Год назад +4

      @@walkerx1813 I learned stick hands-on; probably the only way to get a good feel for it (though I suppose you could teach yourself off of videos). GL finding anyone who's gonna just let you drive a manual if you've never had some hands on experience though, haha. I got all my grinding of gears out on a poor rental jeep ages ago with a bit of guidance.
      I would never want to drive a full manual as a daily, what a nightmare it is in stop and go traffic. Auto-clutch isn't bad though, my current car is a DCT with automatic and semi-manual. I honestly can't even recall where I learned to do oil & tires though, I self-served small engines a fair bit as a kid, but I started before the days of the youtube how-to video. Wasn't my parents who taught me though, that's for sure.
      Got my butchery as part of my college, had a real good chef instructor that went above and beyond the standard curriculum. I look up lots of stuff online though, particularly info like 'how tight do [vehicle] lugnuts need to be'. I could try and find it in the phone-book they call a manual, or I can snag a PDF version online and ctrl-f to save a ton of time. Great for getting videos of how to get into a modern car's tight-ass inner workings to do your own service too.
      As a 90's kid, I'd have killed for what I have at my fingertips as an adult now, minus the privacy invading ads, at least. :P

    • @agnese2944
      @agnese2944 Год назад +2

      In Europe, you HAVE to write in cursive on tests, and once a Girl sent her notes in the class group chat and she didnt use cursive all of us were weirded out

  • @anidiotthatexistsbutprobab5084
    @anidiotthatexistsbutprobab5084 Год назад +285

    "I am he"
    "JESUS, JOHN"

    • @ickylynn6155
      @ickylynn6155 Год назад +6

      This was hilarious

    • @ZenithintheMaking
      @ZenithintheMaking Год назад +9

      Btw it's supposed to be a capital H because God and Jesus are on another level
      "I am He"

    • @Ginger_Hrn
      @Ginger_Hrn Год назад

      And the name is John Cena

    • @PrototypeGoose
      @PrototypeGoose Год назад +2

      Yeah, and He was a biological Man.
      Also why the actual heck do people still refer to Him as "Her" or "Mother"?

    • @dripcolors8756
      @dripcolors8756 Год назад

      @@ZenithintheMaking "I am he." -Me

  • @logikman329
    @logikman329 Год назад +126

    The one about a 5'7" guy being 11'7" over the girl's father got me so good! Dark humor at its peak! Great video!

    • @emircaglar777
      @emircaglar777 Год назад +2

      Can you explain it to me? I don't quite understand the joke. I guess my English is not good enough.

    • @logikman329
      @logikman329 Год назад +17

      @@emircaglar777 When someone is buried, once they died, they're said to be 6 feet under. Which makes the guy who's 5'7", 11'7" over her father.

    • @ElliotsLegoCreations
      @ElliotsLegoCreations Год назад +4

      Yeah loved that one it was good shit. 😂

    • @WestGarbage6
      @WestGarbage6 Год назад +5

      Took me a good 5 seconds to realize what the dude meant, my brain could barely process something that dark but dang was it funny.

    • @N3OtheK1NG_official
      @N3OtheK1NG_official 9 месяцев назад

      The correct spelling is Peak. I'm sorry 😂

  • @OlneyYeti
    @OlneyYeti Год назад +137

    6:36 My parents have rules like this and the only thing it’s done is made me and my brothers more creative in order to find ways around them.

    • @Sylfa
      @Sylfa Год назад +19

      You can always play education chicken with them, look up things you know they detest. When they ask you simply say it's to broaden your education, and state with complete confidence that you're certain they'd want to support you getting the best education possible. If you don't know what they detest you can do reproductive biology in humans, one of you're going to regret it at some point. Not certain who.

    • @LemoonBooz
      @LemoonBooz Год назад +3

      Got some stories of how you've found ways around the rules? I'm curious.

    • @OlneyYeti
      @OlneyYeti Год назад +15

      The only way for our parents to give us more time on our devices was to type in the code on our phones, so we’d ask them for more time than watch them type the code in. When they figured that out they wouldn’t allow us to be close when they typed in the code but, my brother watched were my mom was typing and from there figured out the code.

    • @Sylfa
      @Sylfa Год назад +7

      And that's where the real issue comes in. Now if they stumble onto something disturbing they can't really go to their parents about it.

    • @OlneyYeti
      @OlneyYeti Год назад +1

      Why

  • @President_Starscream
    @President_Starscream Год назад +266

    You know who DIDN'T have those problems with Thanos?
    Squirrel Girl!

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад +7

      Oh hey starscream
      Fun fact do you remember the time the space bridge took you to equestria?

    • @President_Starscream
      @President_Starscream Год назад +2

      @@seantaggart7382 Oh I remember well. Learned some valuable tactical lessons from that experience.

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад +2

      @@President_Starscream nice!

    • @Crudely-Drawn-Cupcake
      @Crudely-Drawn-Cupcake Год назад +8

      Squirrels are too powerful.
      Also squirrels like nuts.

    • @President_Starscream
      @President_Starscream Год назад +3

      @@Crudely-Drawn-Cupcake True and true.

  • @Xeorboom
    @Xeorboom Год назад +1251

    'I am he' is a great quote
    edit: how did I get 1.1K likes?!
    (mum I'm famous)

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад +69

      Yeah
      If i could meet Jesus he'd be a amazing guy
      No wonder people who have Near death experiences have trouble returning to reality

    • @FlatEarthKiller
      @FlatEarthKiller Год назад +14

      @@seantaggart7382 i heard he peed saliva

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад +7

      ​@@FlatEarthKiller ew
      That's interesting

    • @plantlover3741
      @plantlover3741 Год назад +53

      trans mascs coming out to their friends be like:

    • @dreska255
      @dreska255 Год назад +14

      ​@@FlatEarthKiller I don't know if this makes it more or less disgusting, but at least he didn't salivate urine

  • @runningthemeta5570
    @runningthemeta5570 Год назад +3614

    First post is clear evidence that despite calling themselves “Christian” the conservatives have never actually read or critically analyzed the Bible.
    Edit: everyone can we please remember that this comment is a joke, and not to be taken seriously.

    • @theologicalintrospection
      @theologicalintrospection Год назад +1

      Most people who read it become atheist imo.

    • @alexvaraderey
      @alexvaraderey Год назад

      They quickly skim through the parts where Jesus is a liberal, looking after the downtrodden and saying that you should love your neighbour, so that they can read the good bits about adultery, incest, stoning heretics and taking an eye for an eye.

    • @runningthemeta5570
      @runningthemeta5570 Год назад +102

      @@theologicalintrospection I mean I didn’t, I’m still a Christian. However I do think of my faith very differently than before.

    • @theologicalintrospection
      @theologicalintrospection Год назад +17

      @@runningthemeta5570 that's why I specified Most? And in my opinion?

    • @jonmclovin2935
      @jonmclovin2935 Год назад

      Very true. 100% of people who analyze the Bible aren't conservatives.

  • @something1600
    @something1600 Год назад +121

    03:12 Ben doesn't know if his wife is a doctor, he just hears rumours that she is.

    • @Sylfa
      @Sylfa Год назад +14

      That's what they say down town in the back alleys anyway.

  • @radi709
    @radi709 Год назад +202

    OH MY GOD THE 11'7 ABOVE YOUR DAD THING HAD ME DYING
    just like her dad . . .

    • @OverStrive2008
      @OverStrive2008 Год назад +3

      is bro 5'7

    • @Kai_The_Kai
      @Kai_The_Kai Год назад +1

      @@OverStrive2008 still taller than me 💀

    • @skellington8090
      @skellington8090 Год назад +3

      That’s honestly such a low blow….

    • @Watchmanskey
      @Watchmanskey Год назад +14

      @@skellington8090 Meh, fair game for people like her

    • @skellington8090
      @skellington8090 Год назад +1

      @@Watchmanskey No, it’s a low blow to bring dead family into an insult.

  • @kusuossecretgf5401
    @kusuossecretgf5401 Год назад +286

    yo jack love hearing your voice when i'm in the worst moments

  • @minithegameguy4674
    @minithegameguy4674 Год назад +62

    13:37 damn if being unhappy makes you walk fast, then I'm the flash

  • @Just_a_commenter
    @Just_a_commenter Год назад +94

    Witty clap backs delivered by the master of sudden singing and funny voices? Sign me up. O:

    • @orporp3954
      @orporp3954 Год назад +2

      You. I don't welcome you to this domain

    • @dreska255
      @dreska255 Год назад +5

      I welcome everyone to this domain except for myself, so I can hang out with the Latias outside

    • @Just_a_commenter
      @Just_a_commenter Год назад

      ​@@orporp3954 I respect the preferences of others, but I shall remain in this doman, welcomed or not. I'm here to spread good vibes and no one shall stop me!

    • @win-winthestubbornmage4299
      @win-winthestubbornmage4299 Год назад

      ​@@orporp3954 are... are you okay?

    • @orporp3954
      @orporp3954 Год назад

      @@win-winthestubbornmage4299 "ok" is not something you are after the point I've passed. Being "ok" is no more than a veil to blind others from the disruption you are becoming

  • @Deedoo_r
    @Deedoo_r Год назад +98

    who's gonna tell him that "Serving people" and "servicing people" do NOT mean the same thing

    • @Aureonw
      @Aureonw Год назад +3

      ​@@lusterstar3045 huh?

    • @Aureonw
      @Aureonw Год назад +3

      @@lusterstar3045 What

    • @Aureonw
      @Aureonw Год назад +3

      @@lusterstar3045 I still do not understand what you tried to mean about Xenomorphs doing servicing and stuff..

    • @germainsimada7591
      @germainsimada7591 Год назад +1

      what the did I just read

    • @Astreious
      @Astreious Год назад +5

      I have 2 sides: slaves should be free
      And slaves should be FREE

  • @GothMermaidGamer
    @GothMermaidGamer Год назад +212

    The toxic mindset about standards for men is still so ingrained into the culture that if men's fashion strays even they tiniest bit outside the norm, there'll be so many idiots crying that we're trying to sissy-fy men
    Also gotta love people who don't understand Batman talk like they know Batman 🙄

    • @watchmychannelorelse
      @watchmychannelorelse Год назад +8

      nanananananananananananana batman

    • @installshieldwizard3017
      @installshieldwizard3017 Год назад +19

      Ikr, men wearing wigs, makeup and stockings are absolutely ok.

    • @Tentegen
      @Tentegen Год назад +8

      Preach.
      I feel so bad for guys.
      I fell in love with wearing ties and semi formal fashion as regular clothes.
      But im a chick.
      I wear cool ass ties outside, i get a compliment every time i do......Mainly cause i know how to tie them PROPERLY.
      .....but if a guy wears a ton of purple. Good god.
      Let it be known guy who wears tons of purple.......Purple is the color of royalty and i support you.

    • @russeshe001
      @russeshe001 Год назад +12

      Never forget, the founding fathers wore powdered wigs and high heels. And they weren't the first!

    • @installshieldwizard3017
      @installshieldwizard3017 Год назад +2

      @@russeshe001 It was a symbol of wealth back then. Today it's not.

  • @matheussanthiago9685
    @matheussanthiago9685 Год назад +40

    6:44 damn, forget nursery homes, you just killed her

  • @hyperboles6563
    @hyperboles6563 Год назад +25

    0:18 chickens literally cannibalize each other. One dies during the night, you'll wake up and find bones

  • @rodrigotm1461
    @rodrigotm1461 Год назад +103

    Bring capes back, I support this opinion.

    • @raininess
      @raininess Год назад +9

      From a practical standpoint: I dunno, when walking down stairs they'd be dragging on the floor and be stepped on, they'd get stuck in doors etc.
      From an aesthetic standpoint: Aw hell yeah! Capes with hoods even, to completely replace thin jackets in the warmer seasons.

    • @rodrigotm1461
      @rodrigotm1461 Год назад +10

      @@raininess Remember that there are like 9 types of capes that can be wear. Not just the regular king one.

    • @PonandCon9025
      @PonandCon9025 Год назад +6

      @@raininess I mean a lot of clothing already does that anyways, so it wouldn't really change anything. But heck yeah bring back capes!

    • @raininess
      @raininess Год назад

      @@rodrigotm1461 Good point, though the really long types of capes are the most appealing ones to me. (This made me look up types of capes by the way and now I want them to make a return even more. XD)

    • @AtomicArtumas
      @AtomicArtumas Год назад

      @@raininess You've got 2 options. Either wear one that doesn't reach floor height - not really much of an issue, doesn't affect design style, and looks practically as good. Just doesn't lead to that "flowing wedding dress" effect, but it's more than worth the loss of that for practicality any way - Reminder that most royalty back in the day would literally have people walking behind them holding the ends of their capes and dresses.
      Or wear one with a wire frame exterior edge that keeps the cape in a specific shape, including a backwards upward curve ( |\_ ) in order to ensure the flowing part is behind you at all times. It'll still get dirty when outside, etc. but it's still rather functional.
      Make the change you want to see, almost no one is going to actually have an issue with someone wearing a functional cape outside of specific jobs where it gets in the way.

  • @Eramor
    @Eramor Год назад +23

    2:20 they act like the food chain doesn't exist and all carnivores/omnivores don't already kill animals that don't want to die.

    • @bumblebeeyellowdragon
      @bumblebeeyellowdragon Год назад +5

      All animals exist in peaceful harmony like a Disney movie obviously.

    • @maki49574
      @maki49574 Год назад +1

      Too bad we dont live in a perfect world.

  • @shimonbiton2163
    @shimonbiton2163 Год назад +31

    We have the "production date" stated on all fresh and frozen meats.
    Which is amazing, you can tell how long the butchery has the meat fridged(normally its either on the same day or 1-2 days later, I can tell how long it has before it can go bad in the firdge so i know how soon i need to cook it or prep and freeze.
    10/10 would recommend

  • @checkmated2667
    @checkmated2667 Год назад +9

    12:21 I'm now imagining a tick trying to lure people to get bit through the use of social media and it is funny as heck.

  • @Morbazan125
    @Morbazan125 Год назад +70

    Well a lot of men fantasise about ladies dressing like maids, so us dude looking like butlers isn’t that far fetched 😂

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis Год назад +21

      Someone said it.
      No seriously, I love the idea Jack proposes too. Men's fashion has had so many interesting and aesthetically pleasing phases, it's about time you were allowed some creativity again. *However* ... man in uniform hot.

    • @Sylfa
      @Sylfa Год назад +9

      Fair play really. Though most people wouldn't suggest maid outfits are good everyday clothes either. Even if they wished it was.

    • @FerreTrip
      @FerreTrip Год назад +14

      @@trishapellis I'm gay, and while I'm all for creativity myself, and am frustrated with how dull men's fashion is, even I can't deny that a nice suit just somehow freaking _works._

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis Год назад +9

      @@FerreTrip I'm ace but aesthetic attraction 😉
      But yeah, a little more Oscar Wilde in the world would definitely be nice. Spice of life and all that.

    • @quinnception631
      @quinnception631 Год назад +8

      Hear me out. Dudes dressed like maids

  • @ClownHoundII
    @ClownHoundII Год назад +788

    I had a woman on Twitter tell me that I can't be trans because "God never makes a mistake. Stop trying to change what he gave you, that's a sin". That same woman had "cancer survivor" in bio. If God never makes any mistakes and we shouldn't change ourselves, her getting cancer wasn't a mistake either.
    (Edit: This is a JOKE! I was poking fun of how the women said I shouldn't change what God gave me, yet she changed what God gave her.

    • @elizabethbilyeu3031
      @elizabethbilyeu3031 Год назад +13

      Did you have a good comeback?

    • @HappilyHomicidalHooligan
      @HappilyHomicidalHooligan Год назад +105

      Her: God NEVER makes a mistake!
      You: Are you sure he never makes mistakes? After all, he made you didn't he?
      😄😁😆😅😂🤣

    • @Kor06.
      @Kor06. Год назад

      She survived cancer for a reason

    • @Kor06.
      @Kor06. Год назад

      And you will go to Hell for a reason

    • @mew976
      @mew976 Год назад +7

      @@Kor06. for mocking cancer right?!
      Right?...

  • @isabellarobinson6082
    @isabellarobinson6082 Год назад +23

    0:55, "what's stopping you from dressing like this 24/7?"
    My want to actually be able to eat food this week.

  • @wandregalbjornson1452
    @wandregalbjornson1452 Год назад +20

    Peta be like "They had Family! Like you! YOU MONSTER!" and then proceeded to abduct pets and euthanized them if they didn't find a home for them.

    • @justclaymore
      @justclaymore 5 месяцев назад +1

      all pets deserve homes, not all people deserve pets

  • @05.10k_a
    @05.10k_a Год назад +30

    0:01 "jesus never had pronouns" - said by a person that called jesus "himself"

  • @lDontExist
    @lDontExist Год назад +17

    I love how most of these are about a mythical sky daddy that we have no proof exist yet this one book is able to send people into a virulent bound.

    • @coldbob2
      @coldbob2 Год назад +4

      we also have no proof that god didnt create the universe

    • @lDontExist
      @lDontExist Год назад +2

      @@coldbob2 but where’s the proof that he did?

    • @coldbob2
      @coldbob2 Год назад +4

      @@lDontExist wheres the proof that he didn't?

    • @phineaslikesart
      @phineaslikesart Год назад +2

      @@coldbob2 there’s no proof for either, lets just respect eachothers beliefs

    • @coldbob2
      @coldbob2 Год назад +2

      @@phineaslikesart thats exactly my point

  • @thevalarauka101
    @thevalarauka101 Год назад +15

    about that first one - technically the bit in the original Greek which is usually translated 'I am He' is 'egó eimi', which really just means 'I am' - the object being implied. so he still didn't use a pronoun for himself...
    although this too assumes that the wording of the Gospel accurately reflects Jesus's actual words, which might well have been in Aramaic, or have been slightly different given that John's Gospel was written quite a while after the events

    • @watchmychannelorelse
      @watchmychannelorelse Год назад +2

      Didn't he say he was SON of Man?

    • @thevalarauka101
      @thevalarauka101 Год назад +3

      ​@@watchmychannelorelse that's true.
      and after all, I was never trying to suggest that Jesus wasn't male - I was simply saying why the quote 'I am He' does not prove that he used a pronoun.

  • @Beregorn88
    @Beregorn88 Год назад +20

    2:15 it is such a good idea that in my country it is mandated by law, as well as it's birthday date, it's birth place, the place where it grew, the place where it was killed, when it was packaged and by whom. Basically its whole biography...

  • @danser_theplayer01
    @danser_theplayer01 Год назад +51

    13:05
    Correction: if this is true then I might have just revolutionised mens history by totally wanting a woman with ripped abs.

    • @crypticlol
      @crypticlol 10 месяцев назад +1

      I love muscular people in general
      Man or woman, it doesn't matter
      They are the reason I started training on gym 1 year ago

  • @monarags2494
    @monarags2494 Год назад +12

    4:58 John has a treasure trove of snarky remarks

  • @TheHolyJuggerknight
    @TheHolyJuggerknight Год назад +356

    asking if jesus had pronouns is like asking a metal stick if they sexually identify as a human

    • @luigi55125
      @luigi55125 Год назад +23

      Robocop finds that offensive.

    • @TheHolyJuggerknight
      @TheHolyJuggerknight Год назад +39

      @@luigi55125 but hes not a metal stick hes just a head spine lungs and other important organs ATTACHED to a metal body not a stick

    • @blackicynoob6119
      @blackicynoob6119 Год назад +2

      Whatever, hes a metal stick.

    • @doodlespiral7110
      @doodlespiral7110 Год назад +7

      Nice analogy, nerd.

    • @sonyyung5510
      @sonyyung5510 Год назад +25

      Even if his spirit doesn't have a gender, clearly Jesus still recognized he was in the body of a human man.

  • @jonesbaxterdam
    @jonesbaxterdam Год назад +13

    4:46 This one is just straight-up funny, sounds like a fun dad

  • @broEye1
    @broEye1 Год назад +19

    Fashion differences between men and women can be seen all the way down to the underwear. One side gets entire stores filled with all kinds of items, most of which covers little and hides less, while the other gets a single shelf of ten-a-piece bags of white briefs or plaid boxers.

  • @DarkDragon1708
    @DarkDragon1708 Год назад +16

    The post at 3:50 cites Leviticus, which also says slavery is okay. I wanna hear their argument for why they think slavery is okay.

    • @cy-one
      @cy-one Год назад +1

      I mean, why I don't know _their particular_ argument... The "arguments" that Christians most often use in defense of biblical Slavery are:
      - you're taking it out of context
      - it's indentured servitude not slavery
      - we're all slaves to someone
      - it's better to enslave enemies in war than to kill them
      - you have a pet so owning a person isn't wrong
      These are the ones that I cam remember off the top of my head.

    • @DarkDragon1708
      @DarkDragon1708 Год назад

      @@cy-oneAs for hearing their argument, it was more rhetoric than anything. But the pet argument I have not heard. That is interesting. Though my counter to the pet argument is our pets are dependent of us, while people more often than not don't have that same dependency.

    • @cy-one
      @cy-one Год назад +1

      @@DarkDragon1708 The more humorous response I've heard against the pet argument is usually something along the lines of "You've never had a cat, right? Man, my kitten is not my slave. I'm theirs."

    • @wedoalittletrolling4461
      @wedoalittletrolling4461 Год назад

      ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​@@DarkDragon1708
      God gave specific orders on how Israelites should care for their servants.
      For Israelites:
      They were to be paid, fed and protected from harm. They were allowed to marry in the family of the "owner" and/or leave after an amount of time.
      Any form of agression or ill intent towards them was punished by law.
      For non-Israelites(which were mostly prisoners of war or criminals from other nations):
      Men were considered plunder, becoming perpetual property.
      Women were to be married in the household.
      Although they had little to no freedoms, they were to be treated fairly, provided basic necessities and protected from harm.
      The other options were either death by starvation or execution as it would be nearly impossible to transport, imprison and feed so many people.
      They could also be bought from other nations.
      Note: God knew how disobedient men are. A law that punished such practice would've been ignored, but regulations on said practice would've meant that slaves were spared from more suffering.

    • @DarkDragon1708
      @DarkDragon1708 Год назад

      @@wedoalittletrolling4461 Proof?

  • @wamengxiong0409
    @wamengxiong0409 Год назад +22

    Andy Wang with the Lunar New Year post shouldve gone with: "I formally invite everyone to join in the Lunar New Year...except you, you dont get to join"

  • @OtherworldlyYTP
    @OtherworldlyYTP Год назад +10

    5:53 bro that comeback was GLORIOUS
    Probably the best I’ve seen

  • @EricWulfe
    @EricWulfe Год назад +10

    10:28 that impersonation is so spot on. well done emkay

  • @TinyDragonGamer250
    @TinyDragonGamer250 Год назад +6

    9:16
    God's got a cool rule.
    "As long as *ONE* righteous person remains, I will not destroy the earth."
    Hence why we aren't dead. But seriously, the amount of incest, alcoholism, rape, murder, and other terrible crimes being committed back in biblical times before the flood was staggering. God did us justice with that flood.

  • @gotsomham
    @gotsomham Год назад +21

    6:24
    For context, Nero lit Rome on fire

  • @hiddendesire3076
    @hiddendesire3076 Год назад +9

    0:53 Deadpool, Thanos’ rival and the guy who kicks his ass constantly in the comics.

  • @roryhazlett7885
    @roryhazlett7885 Год назад +5

    14:09 that’s probably because there’s 1000 Pokémon and around 10 million wildlife species

  • @ireneparkin3360
    @ireneparkin3360 Год назад +32

    That George Takei voice is actually good.

  • @phydeux
    @phydeux Год назад +7

    We need more of this! Absolute diamond-encrusted gold. Especially the Tim Curry clapback.

  • @junkieluv5326
    @junkieluv5326 Год назад +16

    Whenever needing a good laugh, Emkay always delivers..freakin love it!!
    Thank You!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @firelight4098
    @firelight4098 Год назад +10

    3:36
    “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." -Leviticus 18:22
    If one doesn't have sexual relations with a woman, then you do not don't have sexual relations with a man. Do not don't means do.
    Homosexuality is fine! The Bible says so!

    • @_Allys_edits_
      @_Allys_edits_ Год назад +1

      But then Romans what I think 4 : 26-27 correct me if I’m wrong

    • @stanleyafton5528
      @stanleyafton5528 6 месяцев назад

      Actually that first was changed when it was translated the original part was supposed to be child

  • @farfetchdthegamer3810
    @farfetchdthegamer3810 Год назад +2

    14:26 As someone who can recognise every Pokémon and most British birds, I see this as an absolute win

    • @justclaymore
      @justclaymore 5 месяцев назад

      i guess you can say thats a little.. far fetched (badumtss)

  • @Joey7Z7Horror
    @Joey7Z7Horror Год назад +2

    3:25 I love this kind of insult exchange. It’s like the person still tries to be objective and give you a plus on it realistically and you’re just “oh wow alright then”

  • @VeryTallMidget83
    @VeryTallMidget83 Год назад +15

    8:31 is so GOD DAMN SAVAGE

    • @goose7869
      @goose7869 Год назад +1

      I've been trying to understand what he meant but just can't figure it out can you explain

    • @therevolutioniscoming315
      @therevolutioniscoming315 Год назад +3

      @@goose7869 her dad is dead, and generally, people are buried 6 feet in the ground

  • @BaronVonQuiply
    @BaronVonQuiply Год назад +6

    10:15 **standing ovation**

    • @tedda
      @tedda 8 месяцев назад

      The schools over in your part of the world barely have any money as is, making school lunch and just food in general (you may not know this) costs MONEY. If school lunches were free, the school wouldn't even MAKE the money back, let alone a profit.

  • @mamarockme8916
    @mamarockme8916 Год назад +11

    3:05 Somebody gonna tell him?

  • @Gr3nadgr3gory
    @Gr3nadgr3gory Год назад +13

    I'm pretty sure spartan men definitely liked ripped women.

  • @guts60
    @guts60 Год назад +8

    8:54 This is actually hard to say. On one hand, Batman is a genius tactician, master of 120+ martial arts, with an infinite amount of money to supply an infinite amount of tools and gadgets.
    Thor is the immortal god of Thunder, with mastery over lightning. Thor has defeated gods and a godslayer.
    Let’s see… it depends. MCU/DCCU? Comics? When in the movies or comics? Because there are times when Batman would win, or Thor would win. For example, Batman in the Hellbat suit can warp time and space and wipes the floor with MCU Thor, but Rune King Thor wipes the floor with DCCU Batman.
    So let’s decide to pit peak Batman against peak Thor, so Hellbat Batman VS Rune King Thor.
    It’s a close call, it can go either way. Batman wins if he manages to start out with more momentum or has a genius strategy (which he likely does), but Thor wins if Thor manages to survive long enough for the Hellbat suit to consume Batman. Either way, whoever wins will most likely die soon after anyway from exhaustion and the amount of damage they would have took.

    • @LemoonBooz
      @LemoonBooz Год назад +1

      The analyzing I have just read, is genius, have a cookie. If you can't have cookies, (I know some people can't have them) then make it a snack you can have and enjoy.
      🍪
      c:

  • @mriaschug5432
    @mriaschug5432 Год назад +8

    Born in 1997, learned cursive from my older sibling. literally in the last month going off of 1 RUclips video and advice from a coworker on how to back up smooth, I’ve learned how to drive standard on my own hahaha it’s fun!

  • @52flyingbicycles
    @52flyingbicycles Год назад +12

    4:02 I’m pretty sure that’s called “being gay”

  • @user-hn4zn9nx3c
    @user-hn4zn9nx3c Год назад +7

    12:56 local man forgets that women don't exist specifically to date and appeal to men
    "Men are simple, we want the" what about what the women want? bozo.

  • @DembaiVT
    @DembaiVT Год назад +34

    Nice impressions! You went above and beyond today Jack! Cheers!

  • @The_evil_accountant
    @The_evil_accountant Год назад +4

    It's funny how flat earthers think that just because they can't see curvature in a 10 by 10 kilometer radius means the earth is flat because if we could see the curvature of the earth in that size the world would be extremely small 5:35

    • @UltraCenterHQ
      @UltraCenterHQ Год назад

      They think the earth is small like their brain

  • @fetal.beetle07734
    @fetal.beetle07734 Год назад +11

    When I first read 13:05, I thought he was saying men wanted to achieve the "feminine hourglass shape" and I thought this was some satirical post, but no. We can't have nice things, can we?

  • @something1600
    @something1600 Год назад +14

    05:36 We can also agree that the Vapour trails behind planes are very much curved.

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis Год назад +1

      This is literally accounted for in the conspiracy. They say that airplane pilots intentionally take strange courses to 1) avoid letting their passengers see the edges of the world and 2) make people on the ground believe everything curves nicely according to the science.
      Because if you can believe that the Earth would freeze over if the Sun were as far away as it actually is based on the 'evidence' that you can't feel the heat from a furnace anymore when you're ten feet away from it, every single pilot in the world being either brainwashed or bought isn't that much stranger.

    • @something1600
      @something1600 Год назад +1

      @@trishapellis
      1- But people on the ground would see different things if planes intentionally took weird flight paths (like on a flat earth, people under a curved vapour trail would see a very different thing from somebody 10km ahead or behind of the plane).
      2- If you stand away from 1 furnace and then go into another room and stand (the same distance) away from 5 furnaces: the latter will make you feel warmer.
      3- The RUclipsr "Professor Dave explains" has a 4 part series where he debunks flat Earth using observations you can easily make, except in last 1 where he examined the conspiracy itself. He shows how many people would have to be in on it for it to work.

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis Год назад

      @@something1600 You don't have to convince me, man, I think all of this is a load of hokey. After all what matters is not how the real physics really works. It's that a bunch of people who only have a high school understanding of physics, if that, refuse to listen to anyone trying to explain them the details of how things work because they think that all that stuff you just said is part of the conspiracy. They believe the stuff they believe because they *want* to believe it, and when a human does that, there's very little you can do about it.

  • @insertnamehere1258
    @insertnamehere1258 Год назад +15

    you don't know how much i laughed at 1:58

  • @renammartinez
    @renammartinez Год назад +7

    3:00
    COFFEEEE! NOOOOW!

  • @_Mythic777_
    @_Mythic777_ Год назад +4

    9:00 I mean... Batman has literally beaten Superman. Not to mention he created contingencies for every single member of the Justice League in the event they went rogue, including himself. Enough study of Thor, and Batman would potentially make Thor a laughing stock

    • @lucaprice9576
      @lucaprice9576 Год назад

      Name thors weakness because batman exploits all of superman's weaknesses

    • @_Mythic777_
      @_Mythic777_ Год назад

      @@lucaprice9576 he’s headstrong, quick to anger, thorsleep, he can’t heal wounds because of a curse placed on him from Hela, just to name a few.

  • @r3ked272
    @r3ked272 Год назад +11

    (2:43) the correct answer is leaving office

    • @wiggard
      @wiggard Год назад

      the correct answer:
      Make the AI memes possible

  • @joshuadunford3171
    @joshuadunford3171 Год назад +12

    3:15 hold up, he doesn’t even know If his wife is a doctor or not?

  • @fransthefox9682
    @fransthefox9682 Год назад +5

    "My name is Vergil. I am Vergil years old. My gender is Vergil. I am Vergilsexual. My pronouns are Vergil/Vergil."
    -Vergil

  • @wolf1066
    @wolf1066 Год назад +5

    4:28 - If I were at a dinner party and someone introduced themselves as "Ben Shapiro", I would not merely leave the party, I'd unfriend those who invited me to it.

  • @mif_sovremennosty
    @mif_sovremennosty Год назад +9

    2:02 но на самом деле так даже лучше, ведь так ты точно знаешь, сколько мясо уже пролежало и насколько оно свежее прямо сейчас

  • @justluna8729
    @justluna8729 Год назад +10

    4:08 If you want us to know you’re lesbian, you can just say that.

  • @darkside9547
    @darkside9547 Год назад +5

    Damn that comment at 7:41 really has some good rythm.

  • @belzeb4352
    @belzeb4352 Год назад +11

    1:12 I wanna be clear, and say I want hats back.

  • @tonk
    @tonk Год назад +7

    7:05 TAHT GUY GOT ROASTED SO BADDLY

  • @Robyamdam
    @Robyamdam Год назад +5

    Good to see Twitter is still unimaginative when it comes to insults

  • @aebhosor4835
    @aebhosor4835 Год назад +7

    1:31
    My guy, I was just watching videos of Stephen Hawking doing stand-up comedy...

  • @N0ztalji4
    @N0ztalji4 Год назад +5

    Most of these pfp’s with people showing their actual face just makes these comebacks more funnier too.

  • @lightspeed7312
    @lightspeed7312 Год назад +8

    0:11 My response would have been, "So they didn't have a family? That sucks. Of to KFC."

  • @therjschannel904
    @therjschannel904 Год назад +5

    5:30
    Flat Earthers are those chess players who always set their board up for an immediate Checkmate

  • @radi709
    @radi709 Год назад +14

    mmm happiness when emkay uploads I get

  • @madsfiedler3884
    @madsfiedler3884 Год назад +6

    i like how jack tried to start a class war, but im pretty certain no one above a certain tax bracket would watch emkay- unless youre the kids in r/insaneparents or smthn

  • @Sennahoj_DE_RLP
    @Sennahoj_DE_RLP Год назад +7

    0:06 the best part is, that in the German version John 18,5 is "Ich bin es" which means literally "I Am it"

    • @wiggard
      @wiggard Год назад +1

      Bro is literally objectifying himself 💀

    • @tedda
      @tedda 8 месяцев назад

      Yeah, the Bible was translated from Hebrew, Aramaic, etc. so some words where lost or replaced

  • @JamesTDG
    @JamesTDG Год назад +8

    2:49 *chokes on water while laughing*

  • @cthulhuthedarklord5231
    @cthulhuthedarklord5231 Год назад +8

    5:24 What if you are Chinese American, born in America? Would you not be allowed to throw your own party?

  • @andrecarpenter2432
    @andrecarpenter2432 Год назад +13

    3:25
    It’s rumored she’s a doctor? So she is actually something else?

  • @anfffff
    @anfffff Год назад +5

    "At no time in history did men ever want women with ripped abs"
    He should have seen me

  • @chrisbeer5685
    @chrisbeer5685 Год назад +6

    Love the impressions, adds a lot to the humour

  • @corners1733
    @corners1733 Год назад +5

    EmKay, GrayStillPlays and ImCade are the ultimate trio

  • @crystalalumina
    @crystalalumina Год назад +7

    0:50 no they wouldn't have problems with Thanos, they would have problems with Darkseid

  • @AccountNoLongerUsing
    @AccountNoLongerUsing Год назад +9

    1:40 I can actually imagine Stephen Hawkings talker machine thing saying the words though

  • @plat6164
    @plat6164 Год назад +4

    By far my most favorite subreddit covered by Jack. Dunno why but it seems really fitting

  • @LinkTheFusky
    @LinkTheFusky Год назад +4

    "BatMAn cOuLd toTAlLY kIlL THanoS" it'll be like little 4 year old timmy trying to beat up his angry drunk stepdad except his stepdad has sledge hammers for fists

  • @Hoshimaru57
    @Hoshimaru57 Год назад +4

    12:49 to be fair I thought he died too. I’m so sorry man. I misunderstood the news story that said he was really sick.

  • @babygirl_lunaa9096
    @babygirl_lunaa9096 Год назад +4

    "If we switched to cursive and stick shift cars we'd cripple an entire generation." Yknow I think they're talking about my generation, but a lot of us can write and even prefer to write in cursive. Most people who can't write in cursive can read it. As for stick shifts? I can read an instruction manual, I'm not an idiot

    • @UltraCenterHQ
      @UltraCenterHQ Год назад +1

      Boomers are just scraping the bottom of the barrel at this point

    • @upisntdownsilly
      @upisntdownsilly Год назад

      who said there was going to be an instruction manual

  • @migueloliveira283
    @migueloliveira283 Год назад +4

    13:29 Hi, i'm sonic.