hello prachi can you tell me why it happens......most of the Girl's family cares all about 6 figure salary....or if a guy's family don't want dowry...but the guy's salary is 50k or above and still gets rejected even though that guy is really good... isn't that also a greedy thing from Girl's family ?
I agree! It’s very greedy when a girl’s family does that. Unfortunately it happens a lot, even today. I have always believed that the society is extremely unjust, not only for women but even for men.
@@SmileWithPrachi can you please make video on what a guy should ask to a girl before marriage. It would be a great help. Bcoz I am facing rejections..i look ok by physique but still gets rejected only for salary...in my family..there are me and my mother only..right now I am having 65k per month....so I told my mother let's wait for sometime...I am looking 100 percent hike...then we can look for marriage proposals.
@@shubhambais4304 look out ...the world is not just you neighbourhood or city . you will find so many hundreds of genuine girls who don't look at only the purse strings..
Well Explained.. I have always stood strong when it came to choosing my partner.. I searched for my own groom cause my Parents' Choices were just not my kind and they couldn't understand that. Finally I found someone chatted & spoke for a 33 days and now I am happily married to him without any dramas. It was not a Love Marriage but a Self Arranged Marriage...
@@SahibSingh-sy4xi No cooperation should from both sides, not one. Plus karma has no relevance in this case. You can be the best human being on earth, yet your spouse can be an asshole. When one starts living together 24 hrs, faces responsibilities and troubles and the excitement of new romance dies down then the real character comes out (good/bad).
But still love marriage hi kar lena chahiye coz mere family mein Arranged marriage chahe ki bhi nhi hi sakta as all my family members including my parents had love marriage !! So they always tell me find ur partner by urself coz it's ur responsibility ... My parents be like -hum sirf ashirbaad de sakte h baki tum samjhdar hi !!lol
Biggest issue and pressure I feel in the arrange marriage is parents expectation to say yes or no in just meeting one. And it becomes really hard to convince them that I want to talk more and meet person couple of time before taking any decision
Thank you. You have summarized everything that I have faced because I got forced into an arranged marriage at 20. I'm 24 now and divorced. My family who was supposed to be there for me through thick and thin turned their backs on be during the most traumatic phase of my life. Never again. My heart has turned to stone now.
That's really tragic but I suppose the separation happened due to a valid reason. My parents are searching a partner for me, and tbh I'm not able to sync with boys of my caste or state. Everyone's patience is running thin, but the biggest damage is happening to me mentally... Having to constantly juggle between believing that I'm great, I should wait for the person and judging myself for my life choices, expectations and whether I should lower my expectations for the sake of getting married
@@priyap2167 I feel ya, there are stories around about how someone waited for too long , and becomes the girl/guy to be judged for having too high standards and be judged forever. But at least after talking to a bunch of people I've realised , staying with someone forever, is still a big deal, better late.. than rush into shit you can't get over ( you can, but scars would be permanent )
@@sanjanasrinivasan2921 so true!! I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who had such troubles. And like you, I got the revelation that parents are somewhat right in their perspective. Like we can't expect a person to match us completely coz we ourselves are changing/evolving constantly to the time and situation. And in our pov, we are just ensuring that we commit to a person with whom we adjust and not end up sacrificing too much or changing ourselves too much. The solution we came up with is to openly discuss the pros and cons (sorry if it's sounds horrible) of any alliance and to be honest with each other's views. Better to say I'm not sure now than to give in for other's sake and still be unsure a little too late in life. This took a while, every now and then one of us relapses and has anxiety over the delay in finalising an alliance. But it's ok, better to be safe than sorry 😇
@@priyap2167 Cheers Mate! Can't relate more. Honestly there's nothing wrong in calculating pros n cons. We do it for a job, knowing we'll switch in 2-3 years, so imagine the amount of calculation we should put in for a spouse. It's okay , no need to be sorry. It's a necessity. The anxiety thing is common, we all had it in 10th , 12th, New College, First Job, First switch, etc etc and we will again, in future for any huge decision. The point is we got over it, this too shall pass. Always ask yourself, 5 years down the line will you regret this decision, that helps at times, rest is luck. All the best SH!! To live n To learn🥂 May god bless!
I want to say something abt arranged marriage. Parents force it to ensure a minimum guarantee: same caste, more or less same food habits, economic standard, festivals, VISIBLE values etc. Also, an arranged marriage means a social safety net of relatives. The boy and girl also feel very moralistic, ki dekho, humari bhi jawani ke hormones aaye par hum ne papa mummy ko sharminda nahi kiya, so please I deserve a halo and loads of gold and gifts. Problem starts when castes match but hearts and bodies don't. And kids are born but out of obligation. Parents stay out of habit, obligation and social fear. Extramarital relationships happen on the sly. But hypocrisy wins hands down. All too soon, you are celebrating your silver wedding and your kids are clicking your lovey dovey pics to feed their ego (and your own) on social media. And you think, yes this is the right way, the only way to marry and raise a family.
The thing is that marriage was never suppose to exist. It's a social construct to provide women safety and make sure men stay the slaves they are and keep paying taxes. Extramarital affairs creeps in almost all marriages today. Almost. But frankly speaking, after staying married for years, people stop caring even if their spouse have affairs. The thing is, this whole life is a cope. A cope to distract us from the fact that we will die one day. Marriage is just another cope. I, as a single man, don't require ever 20k to live a luxurious life. Now throw in a woman, inlaws, kids and parents into this mix. And suddenly I find myself wondering how to stand on their expectations.
@@alphavegeta5148 it's better to have live-in-relationship especially in India coz it's doesn't pressure on ur govt. Certificate to be done by waiting for almost years & years !! Or better to stay single and have all fun !! It's totally ur choice how u want to live !! Marriages r also gud if u want to join this institution !! It's ultimately ur life and ur wish of desires!!
Thank u for addressing all these issues. We really need to talk about this. Marriage is such a big decision and our parents expect us to marry someone we don't even know or met for like 2-3 times. I find this idea really horrible. And usually it's girl who have to adjust and settle for less. She has to go through a different level of pressure. You are a brave girl who took stand for herself. MUCH LOVE
Good job Prachi, but arranged marriages even today are about caste, community, religion, looks, complexion and pay package. Issues like compatibility, mental health and sexual orientation get invisible.
@@rheakaurkhokher8320 it's only becoz of typical and stereotypical works, day to day life practices and thoughts in families as well as neighbours or say so called societies!!
Prachi Di I have found a bestfriend and an elder sister in you. You are so understanding I have learnt so much from your videos and still learning. Keep posting such videos it helps alot di.✨
@shrey jauhari or one can simply adopt a child. No need to marry for that, because when married and you get old, your partner will be about as old as you and the two of you wouldn't really be able to physically help each other.
@shrey jauhari I don't think one should marry just for support in future. We live whole of our lives for future and never enjoying the present. Also, among most couples, one of the person dies years early, sometimes decades early, after that also the person who survived live his/her life.
Sandeep. S bcoz ur elders hve experience & know everything shaadi isliye karatein hai taaki aapka vams badein aur badon k rehte hue sab ho jaye unka yehi prayaas hotaa hai aurkhushi b aur aacha sochne aur bhagwan k upar vishwaas karke kiya toh sab kuch acha hota hai baki aapke karm hai aur soch pressure ki baat nahi hai aap 60 k baad b shaadi kar sakte ho kyunki tabi aap jaise vams. Ko malum padegaa batein lakh kar sakte hai yeh aisa woh aisa all time & your age waste
Prachi everything is on point . I just want to add one more point : It happened with some of my friends and nothing wrong with this if they are okay. If the girl is working and some marriage proposal comes up then the girl is supposed to leave her job and find a job in other city/country . Obviously it’s not that easy to immediately find another . I meant finding any job is fine but finding a job of your choice takes time . I have seen many of my friends leaving their job and moving to another city/country (of course there is nothing wrong with tha) but what if you don’t want to move to another city/country without a job. I think efforts should be from both sides . Thanks for the video Prachi ❤️
Yes this is so true I know a girl she is very bright student she got very good job but all her marriage proposals told her to leave the job after marriage this is such a shameful incidents happening in our society girls study very hardly to achieve job and career but all goes in vain because of marriage
Look, this is my opinion marriage or good relationship, if I come in between job, has my marriage relationship become so important for job that sometimes in a big relationship like marriage, at some point in life I want To get something, also know that it is not possible to get everything at once
Even we are financial independent then also the parents feel that it's their responsibility and they want to marry the person selected based on their priorities like money, salary, family wealth but they are not sure about their behaviour and character
My aunt was married in 1week ... after the marriage happened my family came to know that my uncle's an alcoholic.....her entire life has become a living hell ....
@@ankitaarya1230 whatever sis but it's actually ruining people's life...bohot sare issues partner se discuss Karna is very important...mile aur roka fix Kar dia is such a dangerous thing....
@@rheakaurkhokher8320 It was like that earlier also. Actually it was more serious earlier. Atleast nowadays some people are getting chance to meet a few times before marriage. But 50 yrs ago hardly anyone had a chance to converse before marriage.
@@ankitaarya1230 see if it's arrange marriage they should not be married immediately atleast they should know each other and be comfortable and parents should not tell that uh have to marry him/her
People think dowry is a part of marriage. Even I was asked for it in my love marriage. It was heartbreaking that for him money was more important than me.. U can never know how people think and react on certain matters..
@@18_ujwalkalyankar4 ,Shadi nahi hui. As per him pehle to bolti thi ki jo bolonga wo karogi, jab bola to suna nahi tumne.... Aur within a month usne bina bataye, dusri ladki se shadi kar li, jahan se usko paisa mila. 4 yrs were nothing for him...... Love was nothing for him. He clearly said, pyar vyar kuch ni hota...
@@garimasrivastava8263 u r very lucky ma... Feeling sad for that woman who got married to him..all the best....waise what four years u were telling about?
Dowry is a myth..The moment a man marry crpc 125 applied on him. The man has the sole responsibiity to pay for all expenses of wife . If a man demand the cost of expenses then he is doing the right things. All man should do that. Husband's house is not a free hotel. You should pay for the cost of rent and food.
I personally had a love marriage but most of my friends and cousins had arranged. This video was so much needed. I will share it with my friends who are looking for arranged marriages now 🙂
Yes, financial independence for girls is important, but where are the jobs? How many people, girls or boys, get jobs? There are too many rejections. And everyone does not have the talent to open a start-up or a RUclips channel, etc etc. These are extremely tough times.
Freelancing is the answer. Where there's will, there's always a way. Now more and more people are doing freelancing during covid. It's a kind of job you can never lose. It also counts as a valuable experience by the job market. There are hundreds of freelancing platforms online where you can open up your profile. 1.1 billion people are working as freelancers today. It takes time until you can earn sufficiently, but you do reach there sooner or later.
@@oops6661 freelancing is okay if you live with parents or your husband pays the rent/owns the house. Because income from freelancing is variable. And no matter what skills you freelance, there is no peace till you get the next client or next project. Clients may back down at the last moment, underpay or refuse to pay at all. This constant hustling without security of a pay day may not suit everyone's personality.
@@oops6661 It is very easy to say but very difficult to do bcz freelancing only gave orders to experienced workers and 5 star feedback.. no work for new babies
Very helpful Prachi sis. I am 18 years old and a female, your vids are much much helpful for my future. It helps me to be confident! Thank you so much! I am much much grateful to you!😍
I just turned 28, working in an IIT, have a decent salary but still couldn't find my better half yet. Why is it always expected from the girl that she will leave her job and not the boy. They can't handle a girls' ambition. This arrange marriage process is draining.
ok so then why are going for guys that make more than you. If the expected is to leave his job then you can marry guy that doesnt have a job and take care of him like the way your fathers did which is married your mom who did not make any money and took care of her and their children
Not it girl some people also direct ask we need girl who is working so ur salary goes to them and you’ll be working and handling household duties as well I don’t knw wht going on!!
Agree with most points here In my marriage I felt a strong sense of people forcing the girl and people hijacking the conversation. Look out for signs of marriage being forced and points of lesser dating window is the biggest flag. In most of such cases the girl will not be interested and also guys be very careful in trusting your in laws they will try to immediately swing the tide to their favor and pull you away from your parents which is extreme mental harassment, not easy to come out of such scenarios.
Prachi, you nailed it , well explained. Would like to tell you :Try making a video categorically what men face these days before marriage. So that girls/women get educated too. I've seen too much expectation say from a guy like an MBA degree, 6 figure salary, Car, house..... so on and so forth.. and I believe its a shopping list and men are seen as a Shopping Mart where the one with more freebies gets the girl. Parchi, I want you to reach out to masses so that they are fully aware on gender equality, equality in marriage, right support structure, love, compassion and oneness. Cheers
Great advice Prachi! And thank you that you touched pain points from both- boy and girl perspective. Maybe someone gets engaged under social pressure or pressure from the other side, and later unfortunately, you start to see serious compatibility issues, and the other side starts to pressurize you and your family just to get you in a wedlock, take your time and make a well thought and informed decision. In worst cases, remember you always have the courage to say "No" to getting married. From my personal experience I can totally validate what Prachi has been talking about in this video. All the very best everyone in your partner search and God bless you all.
I agree with all your points but buying some months to go on few dates is very hard and tricky in indian arrange marriage..most of the times both side parents just want one face to face conversation and some phone calls before roka...but after roka...its very tough to break the proposal
Saturdays are incomplete without your voice and these smile with prachi videos. More power to you, lots of Love🤗. You are that elder sister everyone wants in there life.❤ Stay Safe and Take Care.
Hello Prachi, Firstly a big round of applause for covering all the major aspects regarding arranged marriages. I've just turned 34, decided to take this road ahead and frankly speaking, most of the points have rightly hit the chords. Would appreciate, if you kindly can come up with a followup video. :) Regards, Saptarshi
Truthfully speaking, I'm so overwhelmed in trying to pick a life partner. I just want someone I can trust and who is faithful to me, but I can't seem to want to do that with anyone yet. I'm so scared to even meet someone over the fear of getting rejected, but I guess you'll never be able to love without taking risks. Sigh. I'm envious of the people who meet their significant other through romantic events of life, that was my dream too but that didn't really happen lol. I hope I find my soul mate soon
@@ni19534 I felt like this a while back! While I still am longing for someone special to spend the rest of my life with, i just want to share that I am at a much happier place bc I realize I have high standards for picking that someone special, so these days I have been working on getting those same characteristics to attract someone of high calibre as well. Working out everyday and eating right, meditation, podcasts, trying to save money, educating myself, etc etc and I have been happier with the matches I have been getting. They are getting closer and closer to what I want but I am not picking someone yet just for the sake of picking someone. Although I’m still single, I’m confident I’ll meet the right person and I wanted to share it’s worth investing in yourself, once we are happy with ourselves the right person will follow!
I cant admire u enough u di... U nvr fail to amaze u... U r soooo sooo soo insightful...i keep coming here just to listen your perspective oF several imp aspects of human beings without judging without any prejudice....u just opens up every single tangle of inexperienced minds.... Thanks di fr being the one... Love love love
I hear so many girls saying that love marriage is better , but have seen so many boys suffer after lover marriage . I think love marriage vis what the girls want mostly and boys agree in 'josh' later they regret it .
There is an weird culture in rajasthan rajput , rajpuorhit and in uttarakhand kumaoni that arranged marriage r always mendatory no matters whether u hv someone in ur life or not !! I hv seen many wel Independent matured urban girls also sacrificing their love and even some girls who do party a lot and modern I. Their thinking still try their hard to stay away to fall in love with anyone however they like watching romantic movies and love stories which they knew will never be their choices or desires!! So i'm not against self Arranged marriage but I'm totally against arranged marriage coz this type of concept really kept lots of restrictions in the life of many indian adults!!
@@ranjitamalakar2297 I can totally relate to that as a rajpurohit I am 17 but since I was 13 my parents always told me that if I dont study they will get me married so becoz of this now I have fear of marriage and I rarely fall for people its hard for me to make emotional connection becoz of trauma and my mum said few days back that they will and surely send me off after I turn 25 which I dont want coz I have some dreams and according to them its their responsibility to get me married they don't care about my feelings they literally said ke" padhne de diya iska matlab ye nahi jo cahe vo karegi shadi to karni padegi " I am asexual which I dont think they will ever understand and tbh they will leave this planet one day and I will have to stay here with someone idk I just xan compromise with my love life
Kumaoni, yes! Let me share what I believe :- Ideological differences create even brutal wars (Russia and Ukraine over Ukraine's independence vs Russia's insecurity). One has to clearly prioritise what they want and using least resources in life, do it and learn to be happy. After all, kuch paana hai toh kuch toh khonaa bhi padega...
I just want to share my story. Mine was arranged marriage thru matrimonial site, my story same as vismaya case in Kerala I faced physical abuse for dowry and moved out within a year of marriage looking after my career. Within a year of marriage don’t transfer all money, jewels if u suspect the person and in-laws are not genuine during your initial days of marriage itself. Because Indian judiciary u can’t get ur items back though laws are there.. no justice and just case will get delayed if u go to court and just mental pressure and extra loss of money to lawyers. Please be cautious before understanding the persons true character.
Prachi, you are talking about "Independent Girls" who are fighters in life...which are just 10% to 20% rest 80% girls are family dependent and mostly they please their family by listening to them to avoid drama. They dont fight for such things...and If Guy is from US/UK etc..they say blindly yes....what you are talking about is for the girls who think independently and question their parents wrong action as well. Anyways Good video...I hope Girls can Act on it!!
Unfortunately very true. The social construct needs to change desperately. And as much as I speak for women having equal rights, the truth reamains that a lot of educated, modern girls choose to be short sighted and not to forget, 'greedy' as well. They will marry any NRI or a rich guy without a second thought which basically is gambling away their lives. Can't help those who won't help themselves.
Exactly! She made a great video but only the privileged lot can relate to it. Most of us still don't have any right to reject a marriage proposal or to meet the guy twice before getting married. And yes i have seen a few girls who despite being financially Independent quickly say yes to a rich/good looking guy, they don't even care about compatibility and other important stuff.
Wise suggestions 👏 I'm a certified counselor myself. I'm so proud to c such sane video, talk abt sex, dreams, education etc God job lady. Keep at it. Mk videos for married couples too
Whether marriage is love marriage or arranged marriage, it is such a relationship, unless both of them understand well, then this marriage cannot last long. Marriage is such a relationship in which all the people of 2 families meet. Marriage, friendship or any relationship can be settled for a long time only as long as there is a good agreement with each other or any relationship lasts only for a long time.
This whole arranged marriage thing just feels very inorganic to me. Feels like a business transaction… I am 25 years old, never had a girlfriend and living in U.S and meeting someone is pretty tough…. Anyone else going through this ?
This is the video I needed to watch! My family is forcing me to get married saying me that when I will be older no one will want to marry me. I want to complete my LLB first. I have had bad relationships with my parents in my past, but as long as I am their puppet they recognise me. I don’t want to lose my parents again, but I don’t want to get married before I am ready. I know I am not doing anything wrong, but to get the right path I have to be the disappointment which has brought me to extreme stress and I have headache and body shivering almost all the time.
Hey - How old are you? I’m 24, and my parents are trying to do the exact same thing to me, saying that if I don’t get married now, I’ll be alone all my adult life and won’t have a partner. How are things with you now?
The conversation for Arranged marriages start with 'marriage budget'. Nobody is interested in being with a partner they can get along with. People are such a****** that they are waiting for perfect match in their mid 30s.
TBH arrange marriage is meant to be where 2 person marry not by their own comfort level etc but others basic standards , so instead of finding what's wrong with arrange marriage , better don't make arrange marriage only marriage choice possible
Budget is the main thing in rural India also , people came with marriage proposal and start with this sentence ye h ladki wale aur 25 lakh lga denge 😁, public is very money minded nowadays and due to this I don't have courage to get married.
dii this the most awaited topic as I also did not have find out due to someone whom I can say a soul mate or anything of the sort so we need to be open minded to arranged marriage also so I always wander that how to go for arranged marriage as I was so immature to know what are the things to look for like what to ask for di but especially the gujarati community I want to say that girls in an arranged marriage demand like you have to gift the bride a good iphone and than there should be a car in the house and he should be living in a particular area like these are the demand for every girls in my community but I want to know that marriage is a commitment for both bride and groom so what should a Groom do against the demand for cars and having a house in a particular area and also don't respect the grooms parents like these are the experience of many gujju house hold which I have came to know and would want to say that I am having enough money to buy a home in that area but that What if my income is not so mucht o give expensive gift and also to have a car like I am saying that right now I don't have a car but in near future may be we both could plan and purchase a car pls answer di???
The key to a good match is shared values. Get to know yourself and what matters most to you: intelligence, respect, kindness, faith--these are things that, if you're not on the same page, nothing else will matter. Multiple degrees or a big bank account will not make you happy, if your partner is not worthy of your respect.
Well Explained. My parents have been behind me for years now to get married but I do not feel like I am ready yet. And yes it's definitely understandable that they think that way because their upbringing was quite different and the era was different as well.
Prachi di , you are actually an inspiration for many teenagers out there ... your way of communication, your way of dealing different problems in life and your positive vibes are really something which can influence someone in an affirmative way :)
Prachi didi, I stay in US with my family. They have been very toxic for me. I'm not completely financially independent, but I do earn and study. My school is going to start soon, but I want to go to Germany. They think I'm earning so they blackmail me that I shouldnt go to the job and hide car keys. I am really confused on what to do? I asked my counselors in school. no one has enough understanding of my situation. they say you go back to India, but I'm afraid of the finances I have. I'll lose all from all hard work I did. I have no friends or support system or close family whom I can share too. I am going through all alone. I'm 22. 🥺
@@SmileWithPrachi i am a student here prachi didi in US. I work and study, I wrote everything 😊 but next semester when my studies start, my parents blackmail they will take keys and wont let me go to work but i have to work so i can support my education 🙁 I want to move and do independently, but I dont have enough savings to afford a place because almost all my savings go to education
Education loan possible? Or maybe if you can continue working, and not tell your parents? Maybe tell them it's an extra class that you are going for or something? Don't give up your education and work no matter what.
U really deserve more and more subscribers .... And mainly likes ... Prachi.... Waiting for millions of views and likes.... Lots of love and wishes Prachi ...
Thanks. Much needed. More and more people (women and men) need to start thinking and talking about all these, especially in India. Both women and men should strive to become the best version of themselves and be complete individually first. Don't stop your son from cooking (saying your wife will cook for you!). Similarly don't stop your daughter from driving (saying your husband will drive!). These are important life skills for BOTH of them. Let the daughters be financially independent and sons be more understanding. Realize that men have not fallen from the sky.
Hii prachi please give long advise to girls who never had any relationship and are about to meet prospectus ,how do we know he is the one what topics we talk,how many days we talk, for 1 st week 2nd week what are topics
@@harshitkapoor9260 Are you seriously asking or are you saying it in sarcasm? If seriously asking, you should know the women's behaviour. That she is not egoist about it and treats you like an equal irrespective of your job post. If she has ego, disrespects you and others, then let that women go.
@@harshitkapoor9260 You need to observe her behaviour. How she behaves with people from lower economic strata. If her behaviour is respectful, and she is not committed to anyone, you might then ask her.
@@harshitkapoor9260 Adjustment matlab ek dusre ki lifestyle se adjust karna. And this would be a big problem between you both, kyunki financial status ke wajah se dono ki lifestyles kaafi alag hogi. And I really doubt ki yeh relationship kaam kar paayegi bcoz of financial and lifestyle reasons.
@@harshitkapoor9260 The chances of it working might be very less, to be honest as per what I think. But you need to observe her behaviour too, how she treats others from lower social economic strata. That might give you a idea if she is respectful towards people from lower economic strata. But the lifestyle of you both would be extremely different and that can cause an issue. Also it depends on her family as well.
You can never know how a person is. It's a myth that love marriage allows you time and opportunity to know your about partner. Ofcourse you can know his/her favourite color but not his/character. You can only know his her character when some downs come in life.
Hey Prachi Di, I really love your videos. It would be a really amazing world if everyone had a thinking like you. Please making videos and keep helping us. Thank you so much ❤️💕
Prachi please make a video on "what questions needs to be addressed if the guy is an NRI and girl is from india",and what are the ways to go ahead in these cases?
Even don't want to go for arrange marriage because it is all about just the looks and money and the horoscope I earn my money, I manage it. So I need someone who thinks like me. Sadly most of the men I've met have either been mamma's boy or have been cheated in relationships. So they often try to mold me in a shape which I honestly dont belong to. Dont want to be a typical bahu and happy with my current Life
The arrangement conversation was hijacked by both our parents. Guy juz asked about my career. Shadi got fixed but my family dint even know his name correctly. No one asked 4 my opinion. He wz v tall n huge n wanted to marry in 20 days as that was his "target".he said he has no time to talk to me at all. We had a conversation after 1 week n i said i wanted to change job. He said he will Let ne know n cut the call. He broke marriage. Its 6 months now n my grandma abuses me 1st thing after I wake up every single day for breaking it. M still alive.
How very unfortunate. Some grandparents really should learn to be more respectful to their family members. Age or a declining mind doesn't give you the right to bully. This guy sounds very suspicious though, be glad it didn't work out.
@@SmileWithPrachi ya everyone except my family said that the guy wasn't right n that no one behaves like this.. I knew he was clearly not interested in me.
I'm 29, gave competitive exams for last 5 yrs and finally cleared ssc CGL 19 and Assam secretariat exam....b independent bfre was my mantra n it brought me laurels!!
@@diyasen3416 been through dat phase. Just keep studying ignoring their taunts. I know it's difficult but eventually u will overcome all n find success 😊
Very good decision..I am also not looking for joint family.. it’s better to stay little apart and have a good bond with in-laws rather than staying in same house and always fighting After all quality of relation matters not staying under one roof
What is even the need to get married.. Work hard earn & live 🥀 this stereotypes "samaj me rehna hai toh shadi toh krni pdegi" Seriously 🤣jb job ni rahi covid se toh smaaj kha tha.. Mtlb kuch nhi hora hai toh shadi krlo🙌 marriage should not be a compulsion.. Financial independence should be 🌼✈️because woman need to work double as compared to men a woman's body changes with time.. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can create a better lifestyle!!!
True that on getting to Know.. buying time... This is sadly least valued and looked down upon by both families... Marriages have become like business and zimmedari se mukt waali baat by both parents
mam i think dowry is also due to girls greed they want to get married only to govt employee or welll settled/rich thus such families have variety of option to chose from and they try to get as much as possible please talk about tis hypocrisy of girl as well
There're many good points, it's good that you're talking about it but there are also points i somewhat disagree with like sexual past, it does matter maybe not for girls but for guys it does. And about the traditional family marriages i think you're giving others a wrong idea about it, cooking food everyday and taking care of your husband and kids ain't a bad thing, womens are naturally better at taking care of people and naturally better at nurturing and you can't deny that, just like you're doing the traditional stuff for your husband they would also be there to provide and protect you from anything you need.
Not all women are naturally good at cooking etc. People should be allowed to chose how they want to live their adult life, without being hated or judged. This applies to men too, not all men are good at carpentry or fixing cars or marital arts. Women shouldn’t just assume and put pressure on their partners either. That’s what lead to better understanding and deeper love in a marriage, when both partners accept instead of accuse.
@@SmileWithPrachi don't give me that excuse, cooking is a skill and any skill can be learnt if given enough time. Yes, people are allowed to do whatever they wanna do but remember choices comes with consequences. That goes for men too, not everyone gets their dream job or gets to stay at home and enjoy their whole life, men still work at places they don't wanna, just so that their family doesn't suffer, men learnt the skills they might not be good at just so they can earn enough money for their wife and kids. Yes, understanding makes marriages better but that's only one part of it, marriages are about sacrifices, understanding, compromises and many more. There must be many sacrifices made by your own parents too so that you can live a good life, if you're still worried about what you wanna do rather than what you can do to build a good married life then you're either too young, immature or a self centred person and marriage isn't for you just yet.
Let me give you a really hard one !!! I fell for someone in Pakistan ( I am American ) And we fell for eatchother. When she told her parents about us, they started making her see families for marriage. After a few families she told them that non of them made her feel like i did and to please give us a chance, just to meet me and see that we are serious about this, I own my own business and we work together very well ! I have converted and doing everything i have to to be with her aswell --- after awhile she finally asked her father and now they are forcing her to be married in 3 months to someone that cant even make her smile/laugh or hold an interesting conversation. Shes tired of fighting and they keep talking about how other people will look at them for what she is doing and disrespecting him and that her little sister is going to get hurt too, all the emotional blackmailing... - This new family is rushing because of all the reasons you explained- Grandparents are sick etc - What can i do to be able to be with the one i have been waiting for ... And if i cant be with her, what can i do to make sure that she will be happy !!
Why is Marriage Important? Is it important to bind oneself with a person for life and ruin that girl/boys life. A person can remain happy without being bound to another person. Can anyone explain logically that why is marriage important in a man/woman life? Too many complications in a marriage. Why get into those issues.
Imagine a guy X entering a chemistry lab and drinking a random liquid, the liquid was just sugar dissolved in water(class 6 experiment). Now, what if X told this to Y, and now Y also drank a random liquid, which turned out to be highly concentrated sulphuric acid. A single drop is more than enough to penetrate directly to muscles and burn them. This is pretty much all the context for arranged marriage.
i have seen marriage's working around me . I personally think all these issues arrise around you if you are in toxic society or have toxic relative , i'm pretty much thankful for having great society and relatives around me . So no complains :)
What? What she's saying is the reality of majority of the Indians. She's stating facts about our indian society! I'm glad that you have progressive relatives and people around you but dear that's just the case with a few privileged sections of the society. Majority of the Indian society is still very much orthodox. She said 'we should meet a few times before getting married' and 'say no to a marriage proposal if we don't like the other person', you'll be surprised to know that most of us don't even have this privilege as our parents don't let us meet more than once before getting married and we don't even have the right to say no to a marriage proposal
Well!! I have married in harry and now I am in regrets 😖 I am going to take devorce with him ... Yes I am really agree with you 💯 that first we should meet and understand that gya and then marriage
Hey prachi di, this comment is NOT related to your content, but I really needed HELP. I have been posting videos in my channel for past 20 days, I gained 50+ subscribers and approx.1k views . (This needed a lot of hard work and I was posting in alternate days)but unfortunately from today morning I can not find any of my videos in my channel , somehow they all got deleted and I feel extremely sad , I did see one of your videos a few months back where your channel got hacked and all your videos got deleted ,and how Gaurav bhaiya helped you retrieve all your videos. Can you please suggest me what should I do and how can I get them back . Please di HELP me.
During my time, I was always rejected - wasn’t beautiful enough. I’m educated. Great job. Polite. It was awful. After every rejection family will get mad at me. I gave up in my late 30s. I’m still alone in late 40s. I learned that only beautiful people get married.
What you said and all those factors are well explained, can we have another video where guys fall in traps like Girls lying about their education, Girl pressuring guy to leave their parents, There are plenty of cases where i have seen guys suffering by girls acts for many reasons such as Financial, Social, Sexual. All this points are true but i also want you to come up with an video mentioning about guy's point of view and at what point guys have to stood on such situations. I know girls have to leave their house, so there's lot of environment change happens and at some point more than the guy within the marriage but i guess girls also need to understand on how to accept both family with an mutual consent and agreement and it's not only for guys. Thanks for such an socially informative content, Highly Appreciative!
Yes i agree that one should know the person properly befor deciding to marry him/her. But you know even today we are forced to take this decision by spending just 10 mins with a stranger. How's that possible? I want to know if there's any way to know the person better in 10 mins.
hello prachi
can you tell me why it happens......most of the Girl's family cares all about 6 figure salary....or if a guy's family don't want dowry...but the guy's salary is 50k or above and still gets rejected even though that guy is really good... isn't that also a greedy thing from Girl's family ?
I agree!
It’s very greedy when a girl’s family does that.
Unfortunately it happens a lot, even today.
I have always believed that the society is extremely unjust, not only for women but even for men.
@@SmileWithPrachi
can you please make video on what a guy should ask to a girl before marriage.
It would be a great help.
Bcoz I am facing rejections..i look ok by physique but still gets rejected only for salary...in my family..there are me and my mother only..right now I am having 65k per month....so I told my mother let's wait for sometime...I am looking 100 percent hike...then we can look for marriage proposals.
@@DivyankKaushik I can understand bro
Girls need security ... boys need good women... vise versa
@@shubhambais4304 look out ...the world is not just you neighbourhood or city . you will find so many hundreds of genuine girls who don't look at only the purse strings..
Well Explained.. I have always stood strong when it came to choosing my partner.. I searched for my own groom cause my Parents' Choices were just not my kind and they couldn't understand that. Finally I found someone chatted & spoke for a 33 days and now I am happily married to him without any dramas. It was not a Love Marriage but a Self Arranged Marriage...
So proud of you! :)
So cool😭😌😁😁
Liked the term "Self arranged marriage "
Thanks for encouraging 🤗
Wow that's great i wish you happy married life😍 btw how did you met like through internet?just curious to know 😁
Whether it's arranged or love marriage you can never certainly know what will happen after marriage 🤷
It is what it is.
Everthing will happen good if u r thinking & cooperation is right it depends upon ur karmas also so always do good b good & b one
@@SahibSingh-sy4xi No cooperation should from both sides, not one. Plus karma has no relevance in this case. You can be the best human being on earth, yet your spouse can be an asshole. When one starts living together 24 hrs, faces responsibilities and troubles and the excitement of new romance dies down then the real character comes out (good/bad).
@Pooja Noone Madamji...sabhi kuch khudah bharose chodna bhi sahi baat nahi hai...I mean no offense. 😀
But still love marriage hi kar lena chahiye coz mere family mein Arranged marriage chahe ki bhi nhi hi sakta as all my family members including my parents had love marriage !!
So they always tell me find ur partner by urself coz it's ur responsibility ...
My parents be like -hum sirf ashirbaad de sakte h baki tum samjhdar hi !!lol
@@subhams159 such a lucky guy 👍
Biggest issue and pressure I feel in the arrange marriage is parents expectation to say yes or no in just meeting one. And it becomes really hard to convince them that I want to talk more and meet person couple of time before taking any decision
Exactly, parents don't understand the feelings of this generation.
Exactly 💯
i would directly ask the girl if shes being forced and pressured by her parents to marry with me i will kindly reject her i dont want any drama
@@AshTheDukewhich is rude I think
@@mukkucinema176 rude me or the parents 🤷🏻♂️?
Thank you. You have summarized everything that I have faced because I got forced into an arranged marriage at 20. I'm 24 now and divorced. My family who was supposed to be there for me through thick and thin turned their backs on be during the most traumatic phase of my life. Never again. My heart has turned to stone now.
Same thing happened with me and my friends…
That's really tragic but I suppose the separation happened due to a valid reason. My parents are searching a partner for me, and tbh I'm not able to sync with boys of my caste or state. Everyone's patience is running thin, but the biggest damage is happening to me mentally... Having to constantly juggle between believing that I'm great, I should wait for the person and judging myself for my life choices, expectations and whether I should lower my expectations for the sake of getting married
@@priyap2167 I feel ya, there are stories around about how someone waited for too long , and becomes the girl/guy to be judged for having too high standards and be judged forever. But at least after talking to a bunch of people I've realised , staying with someone forever, is still a big deal, better late.. than rush into shit you can't get over ( you can, but scars would be permanent )
@@sanjanasrinivasan2921 so true!! I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who had such troubles. And like you, I got the revelation that parents are somewhat right in their perspective. Like we can't expect a person to match us completely coz we ourselves are changing/evolving constantly to the time and situation. And in our pov, we are just ensuring that we commit to a person with whom we adjust and not end up sacrificing too much or changing ourselves too much. The solution we came up with is to openly discuss the pros and cons (sorry if it's sounds horrible) of any alliance and to be honest with each other's views. Better to say I'm not sure now than to give in for other's sake and still be unsure a little too late in life. This took a while, every now and then one of us relapses and has anxiety over the delay in finalising an alliance. But it's ok, better to be safe than sorry 😇
@@priyap2167 Cheers Mate! Can't relate more. Honestly there's nothing wrong in calculating pros n cons. We do it for a job, knowing we'll switch in 2-3 years, so imagine the amount of calculation we should put in for a spouse. It's okay , no need to be sorry. It's a necessity. The anxiety thing is common, we all had it in 10th , 12th, New College, First Job, First switch, etc etc and we will again, in future for any huge decision. The point is we got over it, this too shall pass.
Always ask yourself, 5 years down the line will you regret this decision, that helps at times, rest is luck.
All the best SH!!
To live n To learn🥂
May god bless!
I want to say something abt arranged marriage. Parents force it to ensure a minimum guarantee: same caste, more or less same food habits, economic standard, festivals, VISIBLE values etc. Also, an arranged marriage means a social safety net of relatives. The boy and girl also feel very moralistic, ki dekho, humari bhi jawani ke hormones aaye par hum ne papa mummy ko sharminda nahi kiya, so please I deserve a halo and loads of gold and gifts.
Problem starts when castes match but hearts and bodies don't. And kids are born but out of obligation. Parents stay out of habit, obligation and social fear. Extramarital relationships happen on the sly. But hypocrisy wins hands down. All too soon, you are celebrating your silver wedding and your kids are clicking your lovey dovey pics to feed their ego (and your own) on social media. And you think, yes this is the right way, the only way to marry and raise a family.
👌👌
The thing is that marriage was never suppose to exist. It's a social construct to provide women safety and make sure men stay the slaves they are and keep paying taxes.
Extramarital affairs creeps in almost all marriages today. Almost. But frankly speaking, after staying married for years, people stop caring even if their spouse have affairs.
The thing is, this whole life is a cope. A cope to distract us from the fact that we will die one day. Marriage is just another cope.
I, as a single man, don't require ever 20k to live a luxurious life. Now throw in a woman, inlaws, kids and parents into this mix. And suddenly I find myself wondering how to stand on their expectations.
@@alphavegeta5148 you always have a choice to not marry :)
@@alphavegeta5148 it's better to have live-in-relationship especially in India coz it's doesn't pressure on ur govt. Certificate to be done by waiting for almost years & years !!
Or better to stay single and have all fun !!
It's totally ur choice how u want to live !!
Marriages r also gud if u want to join this institution !!
It's ultimately ur life and ur wish of desires!!
Wow, you said it perfectly!
Thank u for addressing all these issues. We really need to talk about this. Marriage is such a big decision and our parents expect us to marry someone we don't even know or met for like 2-3 times. I find this idea really horrible. And usually it's girl who have to adjust and settle for less. She has to go through a different level of pressure. You are a brave girl who took stand for herself. MUCH LOVE
Good job Prachi, but arranged marriages even today are about caste, community, religion, looks, complexion and pay package. Issues like compatibility, mental health and sexual orientation get invisible.
Kundali, you forgot that
@@biggerwhymobilitysolutions2866 yes, totally...caste and kundali, the holy grail
Ik biodata 'piece of paper' ke basis pe life decide karr dete hai...so ugly
@@rheakaurkhokher8320 it's only becoz of typical and stereotypical works, day to day life practices and thoughts in families as well as neighbours or say so called societies!!
Well Said!! Agree 100%
Prachi Di I have found a bestfriend and an elder sister in you. You are so understanding I have learnt so much from your videos and still learning. Keep posting such videos it helps alot di.✨
Exactly!!!!
She is blue pilled pimping women against marriage stay awake .....
Di, can please do an episode on why marry?
Why there is so much social pressure to marry at some point of time.
@shrey jauhari or one can simply adopt a child. No need to marry for that, because when married and you get old, your partner will be about as old as you and the two of you wouldn't really be able to physically help each other.
@shrey jauhariwe can't say surely that one will live 70 or 60 we can't do planning about it just live good life
@shrey jauhari I don't think one should marry just for support in future. We live whole of our lives for future and never enjoying the present. Also, among most couples, one of the person dies years early, sometimes decades early, after that also the person who survived live his/her life.
@@sandeeps1895 Ive never been more proud of a youtube comment !!
Sandeep. S bcoz ur elders hve experience & know everything shaadi isliye karatein hai taaki aapka vams badein aur badon k rehte hue sab ho jaye unka yehi prayaas hotaa hai aurkhushi b aur aacha sochne aur bhagwan k upar vishwaas karke kiya toh sab kuch acha hota hai baki aapke karm hai aur soch pressure ki baat nahi hai aap 60 k baad b shaadi kar sakte ho kyunki tabi aap jaise vams. Ko malum padegaa batein lakh kar sakte hai yeh aisa woh aisa all time & your age waste
Prachi... I suffered it.... And I rejected I'm happy yes I'm unmarried and now 27
..........
Prachi everything is on point . I just want to add one more point : It happened with some of my friends and nothing wrong with this if they are okay. If the girl is working and some marriage proposal comes up then the girl is supposed to leave her job and find a job in other city/country . Obviously it’s not that easy to immediately find another . I meant finding any job is fine but finding a job of your choice takes time . I have seen many of my friends leaving their job and moving to another city/country (of course there is nothing wrong with tha) but what if you don’t want to move to another city/country without a job. I think efforts should be from both sides .
Thanks for the video Prachi ❤️
This is very much correct scenerio
Yes this is so true I know a girl she is very bright student she got very good job but all her marriage proposals told her to leave the job after marriage this is such a shameful incidents happening in our society girls study very hardly to achieve job and career but all goes in vain because of marriage
Look, this is my opinion marriage or good relationship, if I come in between job, has my marriage relationship become so important for job that sometimes in a big relationship like marriage, at some point in life I want To get something, also know that it is not possible to get everything at once
Why can't she marry person from the same city then?
@@rockstarmaddy4099 YES.marriage and career both can be handled in a healthy state of mind :D
It's indeed a blessing to have parents who are living in the present, not 30-40 years in the past.
literalyyy
Even we are financial independent then also the parents feel that it's their responsibility and they want to marry the person selected based on their priorities like money, salary, family wealth but they are not sure about their behaviour and character
Yes,we need emotional freedom too
i agree with you
True.
My aunt was married in 1week
... after the marriage happened my family came to know that my uncle's an alcoholic.....her entire life has become a living hell ....
*Arranged marriage is good but it's a sad reality that it has turned into forced marriage these days*
These days? Since always
@@ankitaarya1230 whatever sis but it's actually ruining people's life...bohot sare issues partner se discuss Karna is very important...mile aur roka fix Kar dia is such a dangerous thing....
@@rheakaurkhokher8320 so true
@@rheakaurkhokher8320 It was like that earlier also. Actually it was more serious earlier. Atleast nowadays some people are getting chance to meet a few times before marriage. But 50 yrs ago hardly anyone had a chance to converse before marriage.
@@ankitaarya1230 see if it's arrange marriage they should not be married immediately atleast they should know each other and be comfortable and parents should not tell that uh have to marry him/her
People think dowry is a part of marriage. Even I was asked for it in my love marriage. It was heartbreaking that for him money was more important than me..
U can never know how people think and react on certain matters..
ma'am what happened then??
@@18_ujwalkalyankar4 ,Shadi nahi hui. As per him pehle to bolti thi ki jo bolonga wo karogi, jab bola to suna nahi tumne....
Aur within a month usne bina bataye, dusri ladki se shadi kar li, jahan se usko paisa mila. 4 yrs were nothing for him......
Love was nothing for him. He clearly said, pyar vyar kuch ni hota...
@@garimasrivastava8263 Right decision that you dint marry him...And how can a person leave 4yrs love😑...Be strong 😊😊😊
@@garimasrivastava8263 u r very lucky ma... Feeling sad for that woman who got married to him..all the best....waise what four years u were telling about?
Dowry is a myth..The moment a man marry crpc 125 applied on him. The man has the sole responsibiity to pay for all expenses of wife .
If a man demand the cost of expenses then he is doing the right things. All man should do that.
Husband's house is not a free hotel. You should pay for the cost of rent and food.
I personally had a love marriage but most of my friends and cousins had arranged. This video was so much needed. I will share it with my friends who are looking for arranged marriages now 🙂
Dont Do this Type of Thing
Bcz Their Life Their Choice What they want to do
Why ur forcedly Invoking Their Life
AMs are bad. Love Ms are good
Yes, financial independence for girls is important, but where are the jobs? How many people, girls or boys, get jobs? There are too many rejections. And everyone does not have the talent to open a start-up or a RUclips channel, etc etc. These are extremely tough times.
True .....
True
Freelancing is the answer. Where there's will, there's always a way. Now more and more people are doing freelancing during covid. It's a kind of job you can never lose. It also counts as a valuable experience by the job market. There are hundreds of freelancing platforms online where you can open up your profile. 1.1 billion people are working as freelancers today. It takes time until you can earn sufficiently, but you do reach there sooner or later.
@@oops6661 freelancing is okay if you live with parents or your husband pays the rent/owns the house. Because income from freelancing is variable. And no matter what skills you freelance, there is no peace till you get the next client or next project. Clients may back down at the last moment, underpay or refuse to pay at all. This constant hustling without security of a pay day may not suit everyone's personality.
@@oops6661 It is very easy to say but very difficult to do bcz freelancing only gave orders to experienced workers and 5 star feedback.. no work for new babies
Prachi, you are just so practical. You are like an elder sister with whom I can relate to.
Very helpful Prachi sis. I am 18 years old and a female, your vids are much much helpful for my future. It helps me to be confident! Thank you so much! I am much much grateful to you!😍
I just turned 28, working in an IIT, have a decent salary but still couldn't find my better half yet. Why is it always expected from the girl that she will leave her job and not the boy. They can't handle a girls' ambition. This arrange marriage process is draining.
It is very very draining, true.
ok so then why are going for guys that make more than you. If the expected is to leave his job then you can marry guy that doesnt have a job and take care of him like the way your fathers did which is married your mom who did not make any money and took care of her and their children
Not it girl some people also direct ask we need girl who is working so ur salary goes to them and you’ll be working and handling household duties as well I don’t knw wht going on!!
Agree with most points here In my marriage I felt a strong sense of people forcing the girl and people hijacking the conversation. Look out for signs of marriage being forced and points of lesser dating window is the biggest flag. In most of such cases the girl will not be interested and also guys be very careful in trusting your in laws they will try to immediately swing the tide to their favor and pull you away from your parents which is extreme mental harassment, not easy to come out of such scenarios.
Girls no matter whom U marry pl be economically independent.
Prachi, you nailed it , well explained.
Would like to tell you :Try making a video categorically what men face these days before marriage. So that girls/women get educated too.
I've seen too much expectation say from a guy like an MBA degree, 6 figure salary, Car, house..... so on and so forth.. and I believe its a shopping list and men are seen as a Shopping Mart where the one with more freebies gets the girl.
Parchi, I want you to reach out to masses so that they are fully aware on gender equality, equality in marriage, right support structure, love, compassion and oneness.
Cheers
Great advice Prachi! And thank you that you touched pain points from both- boy and girl perspective. Maybe someone gets engaged under social pressure or pressure from the other side, and later unfortunately, you start to see serious compatibility issues, and the other side starts to pressurize you and your family just to get you in a wedlock, take your time and make a well thought and informed decision. In worst cases, remember you always have the courage to say "No" to getting married. From my personal experience I can totally validate what Prachi has been talking about in this video. All the very best everyone in your partner search and God bless you all.
I agree with all your points but buying some months to go on few dates is very hard and tricky in indian arrange marriage..most of the times both side parents just want one face to face conversation and some phone calls before roka...but after roka...its very tough to break the proposal
There is quite a lot of variation in India. Where what you are saying is true but there also many communities who encourage longer courtship.
True just decide ur partner in one meeting it’s doesn’t matter if person is pretending everything or telling truth :)
Yes, it's important to be financially independent and educated. So if anything goes bad you can help yourself.
Saturdays are incomplete without your voice and these smile with prachi videos. More power to you, lots of Love🤗. You are that elder sister everyone wants in there life.❤ Stay Safe and Take Care.
Hello Prachi,
Firstly a big round of applause for covering all the major aspects regarding arranged marriages. I've just turned 34, decided to take this road ahead and frankly speaking, most of the points have rightly hit the chords. Would appreciate, if you kindly can come up with a followup video. :)
Regards,
Saptarshi
How is your search going?
I’m also intrigued to know
Truthfully speaking, I'm so overwhelmed in trying to pick a life partner. I just want someone I can trust and who is faithful to me, but I can't seem to want to do that with anyone yet. I'm so scared to even meet someone over the fear of getting rejected, but I guess you'll never be able to love without taking risks. Sigh. I'm envious of the people who meet their significant other through romantic events of life, that was my dream too but that didn't really happen lol. I hope I find my soul mate soon
Why does this hit so hard?
@@ni19534 I felt like this a while back! While I still am longing for someone special to spend the rest of my life with, i just want to share that I am at a much happier place bc I realize I have high standards for picking that someone special, so these days I have been working on getting those same characteristics to attract someone of high calibre as well. Working out everyday and eating right, meditation, podcasts, trying to save money, educating myself, etc etc and I have been happier with the matches I have been getting. They are getting closer and closer to what I want but I am not picking someone yet just for the sake of picking someone. Although I’m still single, I’m confident I’ll meet the right person and I wanted to share it’s worth investing in yourself, once we are happy with ourselves the right person will follow!
@@blessedlife6771in the same boat as you
@@blessedlife6771 are you married now??
I cant admire u enough u di... U nvr fail to amaze u... U r soooo sooo soo insightful...i keep coming here just to listen your perspective oF several imp aspects of human beings without judging without any prejudice....u just opens up every single tangle of inexperienced minds.... Thanks di fr being the one... Love love love
I hear so many girls saying that love marriage is better , but have seen so many boys suffer after lover marriage . I think love marriage vis what the girls want mostly and boys agree in 'josh' later they regret it .
There is an weird culture in rajasthan rajput , rajpuorhit and in uttarakhand kumaoni that arranged marriage r always mendatory no matters whether u hv someone in ur life or not !!
I hv seen many wel Independent matured urban girls also sacrificing their love and even some girls who do party a lot and modern I. Their thinking still try their hard to stay away to fall in love with anyone however they like watching romantic movies and love stories which they knew will never be their choices or desires!!
So i'm not against self Arranged marriage but I'm totally against arranged marriage coz this type of concept really kept lots of restrictions in the life of many indian adults!!
@@ranjitamalakar2297 I can totally relate to that as a rajpurohit I am 17 but since I was 13 my parents always told me that if I dont study they will get me married so becoz of this now I have fear of marriage and I rarely fall for people its hard for me to make emotional connection becoz of trauma and my mum said few days back that they will and surely send me off after I turn 25 which I dont want coz I have some dreams and according to them its their responsibility to get me married they don't care about my feelings they literally said ke" padhne de diya iska matlab ye nahi jo cahe vo karegi shadi to karni padegi "
I am asexual which I dont think they will ever understand and tbh they will leave this planet one day and I will have to stay here with someone idk I just xan compromise with my love life
Kumaoni, yes!
Let me share what I believe :-
Ideological differences create even brutal wars (Russia and Ukraine over Ukraine's independence vs Russia's insecurity).
One has to clearly prioritise what they want and using least resources in life, do it and learn to be happy.
After all, kuch paana hai toh kuch toh khonaa bhi padega...
So good! This should be made in a series, as much more can be added to this. Many thanks!
Very well explained!!! The whole concept is basically having confidence in oneself.... As a woman.
I just want to share my story. Mine was arranged marriage thru matrimonial site, my story same as vismaya case in Kerala I faced physical abuse for dowry and moved out within a year of marriage looking after my career. Within a year of marriage don’t transfer all money, jewels if u suspect the person and in-laws are not genuine during your initial days of marriage itself. Because Indian judiciary u can’t get ur items back though laws are there.. no justice and just case will get delayed if u go to court and just mental pressure and extra loss of money to lawyers. Please be cautious before understanding the persons true character.
Absolutely disgusting... Its pathetic to see such things happen at this age of time
Prachi, you are talking about "Independent Girls" who are fighters in life...which are just 10% to 20% rest 80% girls are family dependent and mostly they please their family by listening to them to avoid drama. They dont fight for such things...and If Guy is from US/UK etc..they say blindly yes....what you are talking about is for the girls who think independently and question their parents wrong action as well. Anyways Good video...I hope Girls can Act on it!!
Couldn't agree more
Unfortunately very true.
The social construct needs to change desperately.
And as much as I speak for women having equal rights, the truth reamains that a lot of educated, modern girls choose to be short sighted and not to forget, 'greedy' as well.
They will marry any NRI or a rich guy without a second thought which basically is gambling away their lives.
Can't help those who won't help themselves.
Exactly! She made a great video but only the privileged lot can relate to it. Most of us still don't have any right to reject a marriage proposal or to meet the guy twice before getting married. And yes i have seen a few girls who despite being financially Independent quickly say yes to a rich/good looking guy, they don't even care about compatibility and other important stuff.
Wise suggestions 👏 I'm a certified counselor myself. I'm so proud to c such sane video, talk abt sex, dreams, education etc
God job lady. Keep at it. Mk videos for married couples too
Whether marriage is love marriage or arranged marriage, it is such a relationship, unless both of them understand well, then this marriage cannot last long. Marriage is such a relationship in which all the people of 2 families meet. Marriage, friendship or any relationship can be settled for a long time only as long as there is a good agreement with each other or any relationship lasts only for a long time.
This whole arranged marriage thing just feels very inorganic to me. Feels like a business transaction… I am 25 years old, never had a girlfriend and living in U.S and meeting someone is pretty tough…. Anyone else going through this ?
Same here bud ...This whole process doesn't make any sense to me. But my parents have been behind me to get married for years now
Same here bro
Prachi, this was so insightful. I love how you stated things with such candidness and clarity. Thanks so much!
You are a life coach, Prachi. Love love love your videos. They are so insightful and practical. Thanks a ton for sharing such an important message 😊
This is the video I needed to watch! My family is forcing me to get married saying me that when I will be older no one will want to marry me. I want to complete my LLB first. I have had bad relationships with my parents in my past, but as long as I am their puppet they recognise me. I don’t want to lose my parents again, but I don’t want to get married before I am ready. I know I am not doing anything wrong, but to get the right path I have to be the disappointment which has brought me to extreme stress and I have headache and body shivering almost all the time.
Hey - How old are you? I’m 24, and my parents are trying to do the exact same thing to me, saying that if I don’t get married now, I’ll be alone all my adult life and won’t have a partner. How are things with you now?
The conversation for Arranged marriages start with 'marriage budget'. Nobody is interested in being with a partner they can get along with. People are such a****** that they are waiting for perfect match in their mid 30s.
TBH arrange marriage is meant to be where 2 person marry not by their own comfort level etc but others basic standards , so instead of finding what's wrong with arrange marriage , better don't make arrange marriage only marriage choice possible
@@ruhiraj2935 agreed with you. Time is changing very fast so why not change the decades old notion of arranged marriage
@@anushagoel6429 just for money and how to exploit women society arrange this arrange marriage
@@anushagoel6429 whether you do in caste or intercaste just don't do it like arrange marriage
Budget is the main thing in rural India also , people came with marriage proposal and start with this sentence ye h ladki wale aur 25 lakh lga denge 😁, public is very money minded nowadays and due to this I don't have courage to get married.
dii this the most awaited topic as I also did not have find out due to someone whom I can say a soul mate or anything of the sort so we need to be open minded to arranged marriage also so I always wander that how to go for arranged marriage as I was so immature to know what are the things to look for like what to ask for di but especially the gujarati community I want to say that girls in an arranged marriage demand like you have to gift the bride a good iphone and than there should be a car in the house and he should be living in a particular area like these are the demand for every girls in my community but I want to know that marriage is a commitment for both bride and groom so what should a Groom do against the demand for cars and having a house in a particular area and also don't respect the grooms parents like these are the experience of many gujju house hold which I have came to know and would want to say that I am having enough money to buy a home in that area but that What if my income is not so mucht o give expensive gift and also to have a car like I am saying that right now I don't have a car but in near future may be we both could plan and purchase a car pls answer di???
Your comment reminds me of this quote:
Don’t marry Rich, Get rich together .
@@GSa9926 yes
Don't say you will get married, don't put yourself under the pressure. Say I'll look into it and decide based on many other important/things.
You literally touched each point👏👏and 16:04 - is actually well said. Gave me a new perspective.
The key to a good match is shared values. Get to know yourself and what matters most to you: intelligence, respect, kindness, faith--these are things that, if you're not on the same page, nothing else will matter. Multiple degrees or a big bank account will not make you happy, if your partner is not worthy of your respect.
Well Explained. My parents have been behind me for years now to get married but I do not feel like I am ready yet. And yes it's definitely understandable that they think that way because their upbringing was quite different and the era was different as well.
Hey - I feel the same. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
Prachi di , you are actually an inspiration for many teenagers out there ... your way of communication, your way of dealing different problems in life and your positive vibes are really something which can influence someone in an affirmative way :)
Many Arranged marriages start as 'it's your call' but end up as 'we know better'
Very nicely explained Prachi. Also if there is any abuse get out asap. Don't think of having children till both partners get to know each other well..
Prachi didi, I stay in US with my family. They have been very toxic for me. I'm not completely financially independent, but I do earn and study. My school is going to start soon, but I want to go to Germany. They think I'm earning so they blackmail me that I shouldnt go to the job and hide car keys. I am really confused on what to do? I asked my counselors in school. no one has enough understanding of my situation. they say you go back to India, but I'm afraid of the finances I have. I'll lose all from all hard work I did. I have no friends or support system or close family whom I can share too. I am going through all alone. I'm 22. 🥺
I didnt get your question... Are you financially independent or are you not?
Are you currently working?
And why are they hiding tour car keys?
@@SmileWithPrachi i am a student here prachi didi in US. I work and study, I wrote everything 😊
but next semester when my studies start, my parents blackmail they will take keys and wont let me go to work but i have to work so i can support my education 🙁
I want to move and do independently, but
I dont have enough savings to afford a place because almost all my savings go to education
Education loan possible?
Or maybe if you can continue working, and not tell your parents? Maybe tell them it's an extra class that you are going for or something?
Don't give up your education and work no matter what.
U really deserve more and more subscribers .... And mainly likes ... Prachi.... Waiting for millions of views and likes.... Lots of love and wishes Prachi ...
Thanks prachi please make video on which question we should ask in arrange marriage?
Thanks. Much needed.
More and more people (women and men) need to start thinking and talking about all these, especially in India.
Both women and men should strive to become the best version of themselves and be complete individually first.
Don't stop your son from cooking (saying your wife will cook for you!).
Similarly don't stop your daughter from driving (saying your husband will drive!). These are important life skills for BOTH of them.
Let the daughters be financially independent and sons be more understanding.
Realize that men have not fallen from the sky.
Hii prachi please give long advise to girls who never had any relationship and are about to meet prospectus ,how do we know he is the one what topics we talk,how many days we talk, for 1 st week 2nd week what are topics
whether it is a love marriage or arranged.. all these things should be considered in both cases
This is a great video. Much needed as nobody talks about the struggle we go through. Thanks so much
Stay single stay happy...
Yepppp I agreeee........
@@Kk-pg7ef 👍
You have covered everything in this on practical basis. Spot on.
@@harshitkapoor9260 Are you seriously asking or are you saying it in sarcasm?
If seriously asking, you should know the women's behaviour. That she is not egoist about it and treats you like an equal irrespective of your job post. If she has ego, disrespects you and others, then let that women go.
@@harshitkapoor9260 You need to observe her behaviour. How she behaves with people from lower economic strata. If her behaviour is respectful, and she is not committed to anyone, you might then ask her.
@@harshitkapoor9260 Adjustment matlab ek dusre ki lifestyle se adjust karna. And this would be a big problem between you both, kyunki financial status ke wajah se dono ki lifestyles kaafi alag hogi. And I really doubt ki yeh relationship kaam kar paayegi bcoz of financial and lifestyle reasons.
@@harshitkapoor9260 The chances of it working might be very less, to be honest as per what I think. But you need to observe her behaviour too, how she treats others from lower social economic strata. That might give you a idea if she is respectful towards people from lower economic strata. But the lifestyle of you both would be extremely different and that can cause an issue. Also it depends on her family as well.
@@harshitkapoor9260 Yup. Chances kaafi kam hai for this relationship to work out.
You can never know how a person is. It's a myth that love marriage allows you time and opportunity to know your about partner. Ofcourse you can know his/her favourite color but not his/character. You can only know his her character when some downs come in life.
You can know a character by knowing a person well enough.
It takes time and effort, but worth it.
Im divorced 3 times and im 29
This girl is 1000% right
why are you fearing others?
3 times. But why? Just want to know your expectation
omg did they take half of your stuffs
Hey Prachi Di, I really love your videos. It would be a really amazing world if everyone had a thinking like you. Please making videos and keep helping us. Thank you so much ❤️💕
Make a video on 12 Love Marriage mistakes to avoid
Every marriage has pros and cons its depends on individual how they handle.
Ladies, about marriage, don't take advice from: 1) An unmarried woman, 2) A woman not married for at least 10 years, 3) Woman below 40.
Prachi please make a video on "what questions needs to be addressed if the guy is an NRI and girl is from india",and what are the ways to go ahead in these cases?
Even don't want to go for arrange marriage because it is all about just the looks and money and the horoscope
I earn my money, I manage it. So I need someone who thinks like me. Sadly most of the men I've met have either been mamma's boy or have been cheated in relationships.
So they often try to mold me in a shape which I honestly dont belong to.
Dont want to be a typical bahu and happy with my current Life
yes i need a wife who thinks like me will work with me and be rich together in the future
The arrangement conversation was hijacked by both our parents. Guy juz asked about my career. Shadi got fixed but my family dint even know his name correctly. No one asked 4 my opinion. He wz v tall n huge n wanted to marry in 20 days as that was his "target".he said he has no time to talk to me at all. We had a conversation after 1 week n i said i wanted to change job. He said he will Let ne know n cut the call. He broke marriage. Its 6 months now n my grandma abuses me 1st thing after I wake up every single day for breaking it. M still alive.
How very unfortunate.
Some grandparents really should learn to be more respectful to their family members. Age or a declining mind doesn't give you the right to bully.
This guy sounds very suspicious though, be glad it didn't work out.
@@SmileWithPrachi ya everyone except my family said that the guy wasn't right n that no one behaves like this.. I knew he was clearly not interested in me.
I'm 29, gave competitive exams for last 5 yrs and finally cleared ssc CGL 19 and Assam secretariat exam....b independent bfre was my mantra n it brought me laurels!!
Yar I'm 26 and I'm too preparing for govt exam but my parents always taunt me for not having any job and for my age Also.
@@diyasen3416 been through dat phase. Just keep studying ignoring their taunts. I know it's difficult but eventually u will overcome all n find success 😊
@@ankurimaborah4119 you are absolutely right mam.
It gets pretty lonely after 40 if you don't have a family ... And you are not a celebrity who can even get married at 40
@@ankurimaborah4119 I saw you comment about your bf. Is the marriage happening?
It's a never ending conversation
I m going through this things right know
Don't know how to handle it's really pressuring
Cons of arranged marriage :
1. Arranged
2. Marriage
3. Girl
4. Boy
5. Families
Conclusion: why to marry?
marry for baby
What's s nice way to suggest wanting your own house? Im.not dealing with inlaws, from being raised by toxic family to another toxic family
Very good decision..I am also not looking for joint family.. it’s better to stay little apart and have a good bond with in-laws rather than staying in same house and always fighting
After all quality of relation matters not staying under one roof
Absolutely right and a beautiful sankalp of what future marriage should be....very informative prachi....God bless ❤️
What is even the need to get married.. Work hard earn & live 🥀 this stereotypes "samaj me rehna hai toh shadi toh krni pdegi" Seriously 🤣jb job ni rahi covid se toh smaaj kha tha.. Mtlb kuch nhi hora hai toh shadi krlo🙌 marriage should not be a compulsion.. Financial independence should be 🌼✈️because woman need to work double as compared to men a woman's body changes with time.. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can create a better lifestyle!!!
True that on getting to Know.. buying time... This is sadly least valued and looked down upon by both families... Marriages have become like business and zimmedari se mukt waali baat by both parents
Same thing happened with me when I was 20 years old 😂😂😂and still 23 😎I am going to do what I feel is right
lol you watch dhruv rathee. sharma ji!
I have learned a lot from your videos. This is a great initiative by you to handle real life situations. ❤❤ I wait for your video every saturday.
mam i think dowry is also due to girls greed they want to get married only to govt employee or welll settled/rich thus such families have variety of option to chose from and they try to get as much as possible please talk about tis hypocrisy of girl as well
There're many good points, it's good that you're talking about it but there are also points i somewhat disagree with like sexual past, it does matter maybe not for girls but for guys it does.
And about the traditional family marriages i think you're giving others a wrong idea about it, cooking food everyday and taking care of your husband and kids ain't a bad thing, womens are naturally better at taking care of people and naturally better at nurturing and you can't deny that, just like you're doing the traditional stuff for your husband they would also be there to provide and protect you from anything you need.
Not all women are naturally good at cooking etc.
People should be allowed to chose how they want to live their adult life, without being hated or judged.
This applies to men too, not all men are good at carpentry or fixing cars or marital arts. Women shouldn’t just assume and put pressure on their partners either.
That’s what lead to better understanding and deeper love in a marriage, when both partners accept instead of accuse.
@@SmileWithPrachi don't give me that excuse, cooking is a skill and any skill can be learnt if given enough time.
Yes, people are allowed to do whatever they wanna do but remember choices comes with consequences. That goes for men too, not everyone gets their dream job or gets to stay at home and enjoy their whole life, men still work at places they don't wanna, just so that their family doesn't suffer, men learnt the skills they might not be good at just so they can earn enough money for their wife and kids.
Yes, understanding makes marriages better but that's only one part of it, marriages are about sacrifices, understanding, compromises and many more. There must be many sacrifices made by your own parents too so that you can live a good life, if you're still worried about what you wanna do rather than what you can do to build a good married life then you're either too young, immature or a self centred person and marriage isn't for you just yet.
Let me give you a really hard one !!! I fell for someone in Pakistan ( I am American ) And we fell for eatchother. When she told her parents about us, they started making her see families for marriage. After a few families she told them that non of them made her feel like i did and to please give us a chance, just to meet me and see that we are serious about this, I own my own business and we work together very well ! I have converted and doing everything i have to to be with her aswell --- after awhile she finally asked her father and now they are forcing her to be married in 3 months to someone that cant even make her smile/laugh or hold an interesting conversation. Shes tired of fighting and they keep talking about how other people will look at them for what she is doing and disrespecting him and that her little sister is going to get hurt too, all the emotional blackmailing... - This new family is rushing because of all the reasons you explained- Grandparents are sick etc - What can i do to be able to be with the one i have been waiting for ... And if i cant be with her, what can i do to make sure that she will be happy !!
How to get a girl like you ❤️
You r so understanding. Lockdown passed watching your videos
Accha aur Kuch 😑
@@Thathotguy1 no
@@vivekbora3906di is unique
@@Thathotguy1 no doubt
I really love your videos Prachi 🥰 they add in my perspective of seeing people. Thank you very much ❤️
Why is Marriage Important? Is it important to bind oneself with a person for life and ruin that girl/boys life. A person can remain happy without being bound to another person. Can anyone explain logically that why is marriage important in a man/woman life? Too many complications in a marriage. Why get into those issues.
Hello Prachi. This was a very good video. I have a few questions to ask or talk about with you. How can I contact you?
Imagine a guy X entering a chemistry lab and drinking a random liquid, the liquid was just sugar dissolved in water(class 6 experiment).
Now, what if X told this to Y, and now Y also drank a random liquid, which turned out to be highly concentrated sulphuric acid. A single drop is more than enough to penetrate directly to muscles and burn them.
This is pretty much all the context for arranged marriage.
I'm Catholic and I cant believe I have to do this..not for myself..BUT FOR EVERYONE AROUND ME
So beautifully explained...Now I am scared, theres so much into it.. ;p
Yeah I'm also scared.. because for me also arranged marriage only is going to happen 🥺
That depends if you both are ready to make such a decision and accept the adjustments you have to make in future
sometimes a girl get only one chance to meet the guy, that too at home
disgustinh
99 percent of the time boy get only one chance to meet the girl only at her home , no one can judge anyone in such a short span of time.
@@loveyourpresent833 that's what i said, sometimes both get only one chance ,it seems impossible to judge someone in 1 meeting only
@@sarojsaharan5041 I am from a village that's why I am afraid of getting married.
@@loveyourpresent833 even in village you can put conditions to your parents that you will only marry a girl after meeting her.
i have seen marriage's working around me . I personally think all these issues arrise around you if you are in toxic society or have toxic relative , i'm pretty much thankful for having great society and relatives around me . So no complains :)
What? What she's saying is the reality of majority of the Indians. She's stating facts about our indian society! I'm glad that you have progressive relatives and people around you but dear that's just the case with a few privileged sections of the society. Majority of the Indian society is still very much orthodox. She said 'we should meet a few times before getting married' and 'say no to a marriage proposal if we don't like the other person', you'll be surprised to know that most of us don't even have this privilege as our parents don't let us meet more than once before getting married and we don't even have the right to say no to a marriage proposal
Great efforts Prachi 🥰 , I know how many Retakes it takes - appreciable content 👍
Well!! I have married in harry and now I am in regrets 😖 I am going to take devorce with him
...
Yes I am really agree with you 💯 that first we should meet and understand that gya and then marriage
Why do u want to divorce? Don't make any decisions in hurry.
Hey prachi di, this comment is NOT related to your content, but I really needed HELP.
I have been posting videos in my channel for past 20 days, I gained 50+ subscribers and approx.1k views . (This needed a lot of hard work and I was posting in alternate days)but unfortunately from today morning I can not find any of my videos in my channel , somehow they all got deleted and I feel extremely sad , I did see one of your videos a few months back where your channel got hacked and all your videos got deleted ,and how Gaurav bhaiya helped you retrieve all your videos. Can you please suggest me what should I do and how can I get them back . Please di HELP me.
During my time, I was always rejected - wasn’t beautiful enough. I’m educated. Great job. Polite. It was awful. After every rejection family will get mad at me. I gave up in my late 30s. I’m still alone in late 40s. I learned that only beautiful people get married.
Much needed video! Thanks a ton ❤
What you said and all those factors are well explained, can we have another video where guys fall in traps like Girls lying about their education, Girl pressuring guy to leave their parents, There are plenty of cases where i have seen guys suffering by girls acts for many reasons such as Financial, Social, Sexual. All this points are true but i also want you to come up with an video mentioning about guy's point of view and at what point guys have to stood on such situations. I know girls have to leave their house, so there's lot of environment change happens and at some point more than the guy within the marriage but i guess girls also need to understand on how to accept both family with an mutual consent and agreement and it's not only for guys.
Thanks for such an socially informative content, Highly Appreciative!
Plz don't go for arrange marriage. Bcz all these prblms possibilities are more in arrange marriage
Don't marry if you want to live with parents or find a housewife
@@jenniekim718 obviously housewife 💞
Yes i agree that one should know the person properly befor deciding to marry him/her. But you know even today we are forced to take this decision by spending just 10 mins with a stranger. How's that possible? I want to know if there's any way to know the person better in 10 mins.
What a hypocrisy... She didn’t talk money.
Mostly girls have priority of well earning guy. Rest all are secondary.
I think arrange marriage is more better than love marriage.And I am waiting for my parent's choice.
thats bs