The Arranged Marriage Guide: Episode 1
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- In this new long form series, we will be taking up the most commonly asked questions around arranged marriage.
This Episode 1 tackles 3 questions: What questions to ask in the first few meetings of arranged marriage, how to filter candidates on the basis of those interactions, and how big a role does family play in the arranged marriage process.
We cover the idea of searching for your own core values, and non-negotiables while looking for a partner. We also try to explain what they mean with examples.
Over the last 2 years, we have been asked many questions about how you both made your arranged marriage successful. That too when you both were working professionals
Over a series of videos, we will try to showcase our frame of mind when we decided to get into the arranged marriage filtering process and tried to find the ideal partner of our dream
The most common questions that we get asked are “How to smartly find the right partner in an arranged marriage”, or “What questions to ask before marrying someone”, a lot of boys are scared of even meeting girls for arranged marriages. Especially during the courtship period what should we check in a partner? Everyone wants to avoid the common mistakes in an arranged marriage and hence wants a checklist of items to find the right partner
A widespread perception, or question that many wonder, is that are love marriages better than arranged marriages, and why. It directly affects how much your parents will be involved in your marriage normally. In fact it's because of parents’ very high involvement, that many often see arranged marriages as an outdated and regressive idea, and question if arranged marriage is relevant in today’s times. Because of the involvement of parents in an arranged marriage, often women want to understand the man’s and his family’s expectations of the wife in an arranged marriage setup. A very common fear of the woman is that will the family have problems if she wants to study/ travel/ work after marriage.
Another common question we often get revolves around how to plan savings and finances after marriage. Should the expenses be divided 50-50? Or proportionate to income? Additionally, most girls today want to be actively involved in taking care of their parents in their old age
What we can say is that we are not sure if Marriages are made in heaven, but surely the choices are made on earth. There is no right formula for finding the right partner in marriage, but we can surely say that the thought process needs to be sorted. It's critical to have clarity on what you want from marriage for both men and women. It's important to meet as many prospective partners during the courtship period. A long-lasting relationship is about friendship, deep bonding, and compatibility
#ArrangedCouple #marriage #maritallife #maritalissues
Video Chapters:
0:00 Introduction to the Series
0:45 1st Q: What questions to ask in the 1st few meetings of arranged marriage meeting
4:22 What had we discussed in our meetings
5:27 What if ice-breaking doesn't happen in those initial meetings?
8:36 Threat/ Fear of being judged in the initial meetings of arranged marriage
10:24 What if the other person is not being as honest as me in arranged marriage
12:45 2nd Q: How to evaluate an arranged marriage candidate on the basis of just a few initial meetings
13:34 What does core-beliefs and non-negotiables mean?
14:06 What is the difference b/w core-beliefs and non-negotiables
15:06 How much should be the importance of "superficial" criterias?
15:53 What were Vipin's core-beliefs and non-negotiables
18:53 What were Bibhuti's core-beliefs and non-negotiables
22:45 3rd Q: Is the partner more important, or his/ her family?
24:18 Definition of a good man
24:43 How to know beforehand if he will be able to take a stand against own family's patriarchy?
27:05 Did Bibhuti choose Vipin, or his family?
27:20 Conclusion
As a girl, I must say Bibhuti you're lucky to get a sensible husband like Vipin. Trust me, not all guys out there are like this.
I know I got lucky with him 😊😊
This video helped me to communicate my thought process to my parents! Thanks for making it!
You guys are an arranged marriage couple? OMG!! Thank youuuu. I needed this!!!
I always used to admire you two!
@@aninditasaha2676 Yes we are an arranged marriage couple. Thanks for the warmth ❤️❤️❤️
I appreciate you mentioning the non-negotiable aspects, Vipin bhai. As someone who has chosen to abstain from dating, I tend to seek out women who have had similar experiences-specifically, those who haven't been in serious relationships in the past. This isn't about being judgmental, rather, it's about my desire to experience the unique connection of being someone's first. I understand that in today's world, holding onto such a belief can be challenging and might limit my options. Do you think it's worth sticking to this preference, or should I be open to compromising?
And I am pretty sure a lot of men out there would be going through the same feeling but are too afraid to admit.
Thank you and thanks for the video as well.
I think it's okay to stick to your own belief and desire . A lot of women also feel the same including me . However if you find someone good and compatible, this shouldn't be the only reason that you won't date them.
Otherwise it's okay to have own desires and there's nothing wrong in it😊👍
@@nishthauniyal9938 Agree with you on that, obviously if I find someone compatible who ticks majority of the boxes I would go ahead with her regardless. Thank you for understanding my concern, good to know there are women who think the same say.
Who abstain to choose someone who had been in a serious relationship. What if she had not so serious , something causal in the past?
@@latatiwari1097 Well sorry but that'll be a red flag for me. Totally against casual stuff (iykwim)
👏🏻👏🏻 u guys are filling in very imp void in the society.. even today majority of the marriages are arranged only.. but no one share a balanced perspective without judgement.. some are totally against it some double down on it.. u guys are going in these topics in depth without judgement.. Kudos to u♥️♥️
Thanks Aditya. Yes we are still a traditional society and arranged marriages are not going anywhere. Let's atleast make an attempt to make some small but positive changes in it then
This happens when two upsc ppl sit for discussion ....😅😅😅 very balanced discussion....looking for more such brainstorming sessions.....
Hahaha. Sure yeah 😂
Loved the conversation guys, keep it up
Hi, thank you so much for doing this segment. Its very helpful and also very validating to know that all these questions do occur.
You mentioned a non negotiable that is if he knows the concept of patriarchy. Can you tell us how can one know that, because this cant be a question asked directly, so how can we judge if someone understands this?
Loved how vibhuti articulated the stand on patriarchy and its root!! Too good
@@standingoutincrowd ❤️❤️ Thankyou
You are doing a good job! Keep it up, content like this is much needed.
@@yuktikaura ❤️❤️ Thanks Yukti
Looking forward to know more about this topic and understand your perspective.
Very soon yeah 😊
I was waiting for these long form videos from very long. Thank you so much for making this. Love you guys 🫶
Internet dont have much content on this. Thanks ❤
❤❤
What is your take on the astrology beliefs that some families are adamant about while searching for a life partner for their kids? How important are they?
Very thoughtful conversation thanks waiting for next episode 😀
Can loyalty and honesty be core belief or non negotiable as a result of past relationships but if it is like that then how should we analyse it will unfold with time for sure but going through the same process after failed long relationship how can we analyse
Truly in love with your short form content... Happy to see long form videos... super excited for upcoming uploads💕💕
I really needed that kind of videos they r very helpful but in our society it is very difficult for girls having such conversations with their would be
Absolutely in love with these contents...much needed one..
This conversation between the two of you is so insightful it has helped me and definitely will we a eye opener for lot of people. Thanks bibhuti and Vipin❤
Thankyou Vaishali ❤️
Amazing guys !
Yeahh finally on RUclips ❤
My favourite couple.
Waiting for more such content from you guys 😍
Working on it. Thanks ❤
Glad to see u here❤.My favourite.
Saving it up for future
Waiting for more such long-form content 💯🙌🏻
It's really an amazing video on this topic 🙌
@@anjalimaurya11 🙌🙌 Thanks Anjali
Loved the perspective. Really helpful. Looking forward to more video.
Thankyou ❤
Please make 5 seasons of this topic😊
My favourite couple❤
Thank you
More of theseeee!
Waiting for the next episode😊
Soon 😊
Love ur content. Excited to see more content.
Very good conversation on arenge marriage
Hi folks, love your content. Can you please upload all your insta reels here as well? I wanted to share it with someone who's not on insta. Thanks for sharing such important insights!
If it's about the Arranged Marriage series, we have uploaded most of them and made a playlist here. Do chk
Thank you so much, Bibhuti and Vipin! This video covered so many of the questions and uncertainties I am facing during this process. I could really relate to the issues discussed, and I appreciate how clearly and objectively everything was presented. Keep up the great work!
On another note, what are your thoughts on the illusion of endless choices people face through today’s dating/matrimonial apps? It seems like the 'slot machine' design of these platforms leads to decision paralysis, with many feeling unable to commit because they’re always waiting for the next best option, believing there's a sea of possibilities. How can we navigate this to form more meaningful connections?
Nice !
Very nice❤
It's very hard to watch this video, cos whenever you say few lines about anything I get into my own zone of thinking and whenever I get back I have to rewind it to the point where I left.
Sir, How to impress and satisfy your wife after marriage, so that she doesn't leave you ?
Love❤ marriage guide pls
Super Happy to see you guys here ! Big Love ❤ Congratulations 🎉
Thank you so much!!
I turned 24 a day before yesterday and my dad came up with the topic of marriage which is unavoidable but being in a society where people have treated women so unfairly is scary.
I come from a very reserved family where talking to a boy is not acceptable & relationships are forbidden but whom am I kidding I had a few failed relationships. I am scared to share this information if the guy asks this in a courtship period, how should I approach this question?
Just tell him. It's understood women have a bigger dating pool than most men (conservative included as well). Better to get rejected in the first phase than hang around till the end. Save his time and yours.
Tell them truth
Plz make video in hindi lang if possible and titles in English as we can see it to our parents also and it is very gud for us if they understand our need and how it is necessary for us.
I have a question as to what to do when you have got an idea that this guy or girl is right for me or not but you have family pressure acting on you and they might not support your decision. How to deal with such situation?
Sorry bro but fuck the family pressure, it's your life's decision.
What should be the courtship period
Completely depends on the fact that - has it achieved it's purpose of knowing each other. We took around 4 months
@@BibhutiandVipin thank you for solving problems regarding relationships God bless you both from amritsar, u are a beautiful couple
❤️❤️
Please let me know the mic you guys are using
Maybesta wireless Lavaliar, from Amazon
@@BibhutiandVipin thank you for addressing
Itne dur dur kyun bhaito ho ? Paas mein bhaitoge toh kya love marriage guide bna jayegi kya ? (On a lighter note )
😂 😂
meanwhile my 22 yr old ass watching this 🙃🙂
Hahaha. Skip for now dost. Abhi live your life. Shaadi baad mein 😊
@@BibhutiandVipin yes sir/maam
Thing we needed❤ thank you for such video🤍