I find the answer to that question is take it one minute at a time. After five minutes high five yourself because you made it. Each second will hurt but sometimes it will get at mm better and after five minutes it's an inch better just keeps moving. Plus Melissa stay beautiful, stay kind, stay strong, stay awesome but most of all stay YOU because you are all this world needs (at least my world)
You have a purpose to every single person who liked this video. You maje us feel like there's other people going through the same thing, you make us feel like we aren't alone, and your videos have helped so many people. I know that people see themsrlves differently than everyone else does but I see someone beautiful and inspiring. There's also no need to hide your emotions, we're here to support you just like you've supported all of us. It's tough but it will all be for a reason in the end. *Hugs you* you're important to everyone watching this video and this video will help people and that's definitely something to be proud of. All your problems or struggles make you who you are and you're a good person.
Sometimes I just wish that I could know you in person so I could be there for you. I've been watching your videos since I started my recovery journey and you've helped me so much. You are such an important part of so many people's recovery. You're an amazing person and I'm proud of you.
Honestly, it breaks my heart to hear you talk about you giving up. It's not fair that people as amazing as you have to feel so bad about life. I've been watching your videos for about the past 3 years and you've just been through so much and helped me with so many problems. I wish I could do something because like I said, it's incredibly hard to hear you say some of these things. I'm not going to say "stay strong" or some cliche BS like that, instead I'll just say that I genuinely hope things start to get brighter for you and that you can find something that makes you happy to be alive. You deserve it. Good luck!
You are an inspiration and an amazing lady. I want to hug you when you cry.I appreciate your honesty. You will be here in 5 years for sure because you are one strong woman. I have OCD. It drives me crazy and sometimes it gets so bad I can't even leave the house . Keep your videos coming. lots of love to you. PS, I love your style, clothing, hair, and jewelry. YOU ROCK LADY!!!!!!
My heart goes out to you. I've battled EDs, self harm, and near alcoholism for over 20 years. I've had my ups and downs, my good days and bad days....haven't self-harmed in 2 years, but often consider going back. My ED is more in control, but coming back with a vengeance at the moment. And I'm allowing it. I can't fight it.... it's my one vice. I know it's wrong and I know I can do more to kick it away, but at the moment, I don't want to. I cry and I feel worthless but I'm like you--I'm STUBBORN! I refuse to let the ED win (she says having just puked out lunch). I used to have big plans too but right now, my plan is to be here. Just to be here. You're amazing and I always feel better knowing I'm not alone when I watch your videos. Suicidal ideation plagues me every day. I'm sorry you have to go through this battle--I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy.
Keep fighting....I hope and pray you WILL be here in 5 years...stronger than ever! Passing over a safe hug to you...wish I could do anything to help you get through your hard days...you look beautiful, you look healthy but inside you need to keep yourself healthy! We love you Melissa....please remain strong...YOU CAN DO IT!!! PLEASE do it!
Hey Melissa, i'm sorry that your tick attacks came back. You seem to be having it hard these days. But like you said you are a FIGHTER! You can get through this. This video was good for you, because your expressed your emotions, It was beautiful. And don't be sorry about crying. It helps in so many different ways :) Me, i always had a hard time expressions my emotions(i didnt cry, ever). I have been extremely emotional these past few weeks im crying a lot, sometimes for really small things. Other times im crying because I past by adorable babies. Or an adorable older couple holding hands.and also other many more reasons. Before my crying experiences, I thought I was a heartless person, I thought I wasn't ''NORMAL'' for not being able to cry. And it always put me so down, I didn't have a outlet to relieve my pain, wanted to cry, but couldn't. So 9 years ago I started cutting myself. I was 16. Didnt know what I got myself into.. im still struggling, been 6 months SI free. Yay to me. The longest I went SI free was 1 year. Then something happened.. Anyways, im sorry, im talking to much about myself here. Now I have a question for you, you said we can send you things do you have a p.o. box? I want to send your something if possible thanks, and take care :)
Awe, crying is beautiful, and I think you'll be here in 5 years, it's almost already 2, and I feel this way all the time. I couldn't cry on video, maybe, if I was my child self personality, "PHILLIP"
beautiful and amazing person you are. keep strong and stay away from the negative thoughts. you are a strong minded women and will conquer the negativity 😄
Sometimes you just have to cry and let it out irrespective of what others think. I don't anyone is going to judge you, especially not your RUclips subscribers. I have a condition called TMAU and trust me, everyday I think of suicide, but like you I keep on going. But I do wish you the best. You're a beautiful person and I'm glad to hear that you'll be here in 5 years and possibly more. ( ^ _ ^ )
Hey Melissa, is it just the lighting or something like that, or did you actually lose weight? I hope your Ed isn't giving you trouble again... Im really sad for you that you still are going through so much, but I deeply trust you, you definetly be there in 5 years, even 10 or 20!you'll have a beautiful and long life, you will inspire hundreds of other people
I think it would be a good addition to add what the question is, on the video. Just have a little box off to the side with the question typed out, while you read it.
Hi Melissa (: I just wanted to say what an incredibly courageous young woman you are for stepping out of your own self, fears, and pains to touch the lives of others. May I please share with you my own testimony. I hope you take the time to read it. The pain & struggles I experienced in my life may seem very small compared to yours, but I would like to share some HOPE (: My birth mother was a heroine addict and prostitute & my birth father refused I was his even after the paternity test. I was placed immediately into foster care as a baby & then was blessed enough to be adopted at age 3. But I had reactive attachment disorder; thus, I couldn't really accept my parent's love or anybody's love for that matter. I would wake up screaming & crying from nightmares of my mother leaving me. I would fight both my parents all the time & I didn't know why because deep down inside I craved love. In middle school, I went to a racist "Christian" school, and even the one teacher that told me I was beautiful and "special" broke my heart when she openly saw a boy calling me racist names & didn't punish him at all. I lost all trust in adults. Because the teachers wouldn't do anything about it, I began fighting in school to defend myself. I was rejected by the whole school and had no friends.However, my parents would take the side of the teacher and beat me. I also had the memory of an 80 year-old lol and would forget everything (homework, my backpack at school, etc.). My mother would spank me for it, even though I truly tried my hardest to remember. I also was a bed-wetter until about age 11. Also, due to my reactive attachment disorder, I couldn't look people in the eyes. I would get SO nervous around people, even family members, that I would literally tremble and have sudden twitches and spasms. I hated to eat in front of people because sometimes out of nowhere my hand would jerk and the food would fly off my fork lol I looked to everything to relieve the pain and insecurities: music, sex, alcohol, writing. By 18, I had a nervous break down due to a pretty huge mistake I made that I'd rather not share (; I lost my vocabulary and couldn't even string sentences together. I became anorexic and became addicted to cutting. I would go out in the middle of the night and lie down in the road hopefully to get run over. I was utterly hopeless. Then I found this guy & I thought for sure he would take all the pain away. I gave him every single part of me. My parents didn't like him, so I ended up running away from home (at age 19 lol; you see I had always been mentally behind mature-wise & I had always known this which made me hate myself even more). However, the guy flat-out abandoned me & I had no place to go. I had lost everything. I know what I'm about to say will turn a lot of people off, but please hear me out. It's true because I experienced it. I HATED God. I thought he was a joke, so I would definitely not share this if it wasn't true. I came to a church service one night. I forgot to mention that the family that adopted me were church goers but I turned my back on God at age 19 when I ran away. I walked in that church service & stayed in my seat the whole time. I was numb, couldn't cry, couldn't feel, didn't have a heart, felt no remorse for my actions. But they laid hands on me & began to pray in the name of Jesus. Melissa, I'm dead serious, all of a sudden & began to twist and writhe. I was demon possessed. I'm not making this up. But being raised in church, I knew what to do. I began to scream Jesus (hey if you've tried everything--the psycho therapy, the coping skills, the booze, the drugs, the sex, the music, the writing, etc.-and nothing else has worked... WHY NOT. What do you have to lose? So I did. I cried out Jesus. And I kid you not... the craziest thing happened. I began to cry. I had stopped being able to cry a long time ago. And then I felt God's love literally fall all over me. I began to laugh. I hadn't been able to laugh in forever. My mind went clear!! I had a sound mind. I had been insane, my thoughts were always cluttered. But I could think clearly. I felt peace. I had suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for so long. But I'm not done. He began to heal me from my pain. Literally took it. This wasn't some coping skill to momentarily relieve myself or sweep the pain under the rug. No. He healed it. If I can give you any advice, please hear me, your answer is Jesus. He can take the broken pieces of your life & make something beautiful.
I feel really stupid writing this comment, but I have to tell it someone. I´m no at that age where everyone got a boyfriend and so something with boys. I don´t have a lot of friends ans their all girls, don´t really have a problem with that. I just wanted to be loved by someone for my hole life cause one ever does. Everyone is in love know and everyone got a lot a friends (boys too). Why can´t I just be happy for them, why do I have to be jealous? I hate it, I don´t want this anymore! I really feel like I need someone who is helping me while I´m in recovery but instead everyone else got someone accept me. I really need someone who is helping me. I don´t want to fell this jealousy, I fell like a little kid. Why can´t I just be an adult? -.- I hate it
+Eleonore Sandmann It's just how people are. It's slightly in our nature to be jealous, but you have to try your hardest to be happy for your friends. Friends are friends. They mean a lot to you and that's what matters. Yes, thinking about yourself is very important too, but don't give up. It may take time, but when it truly happens, it will be amazing. Your first boyfriend might not be all that great and maybe not even your second, or hell even your 8th. I have been with a number of girls and all of those relationships have failed. But I am only 24 and I have plenty of time to find someone, but I am in no hurry. Just concentrate on making yourself the best you can be and people will come. I haven't had a girlfriend in about two years and that's fine. I'm in no hurry and no one should be. When the time comes, it comes. Just enjoy everything else in your life, for right now. :)
WOW, OMG!! I know this is irrelevant to what your saying. But omg Melissa, watch this video at 4:26 and watch the left side of where your standing. I believe you have a spirit watching over you. I could be wrong and there may be an explanation for that bubble looking thing to float up. But to me it looks pretty genuine. That is so awesome if there isn't any explanation for that.
Also just to let you know. You are so GREAT and don't you EVER think of quitting or given up. You have way to many people who LOVE you and look forward to your video's. You are saving lives yourself hun. Don't forget to save your own. And all of us will help save you to. So don't ever give up on that.💖
In a previous video I asked if you were a virgin.. perhaps it was a little too much. Who was the last boy you kissed and when? I just want to get to know you more :)
+YellowKazooie Last boy I kissed was a few months ago and it wouldnt be kind of me to give out identities on youtube. I take relationships seriously and dont talk about them on youtube unless they want to be.
Girl, I cant handle seeing you cry, makes me choke up..remember how many you inspire! **hugs
Please be here in 5 years, in 10 years, hell and even 30! 😍❤
I find the answer to that question is take it one minute at a time. After five minutes high five yourself because you made it. Each second will hurt but sometimes it will get at mm better and after five minutes it's an inch better just keeps moving. Plus Melissa stay beautiful, stay kind, stay strong, stay awesome but most of all stay YOU because you are all this world needs (at least my world)
Check point! It's about the middle of April. It's been a little over 6 months. You're still here. You're still loved. You're still going to make it.
+Lexi Farr
You have a purpose to every single person who liked this video. You maje us feel like there's other people going through the same thing, you make us feel like we aren't alone, and your videos have helped so many people. I know that people see themsrlves differently than everyone else does but I see someone beautiful and inspiring. There's also no need to hide your emotions, we're here to support you just like you've supported all of us. It's tough but it will all be for a reason in the end. *Hugs you* you're important to everyone watching this video and this video will help people and that's definitely something to be proud of. All your problems or struggles make you who you are and you're a good person.
I wish I could give you a big hug and just hold you.
Awh please stay strong..
Sometimes I just wish that I could know you in person so I could be there for you. I've been watching your videos since I started my recovery journey and you've helped me so much. You are such an important part of so many people's recovery. You're an amazing person and I'm proud of you.
Honestly, it breaks my heart to hear you talk about you giving up. It's not fair that people as amazing as you have to feel so bad about life. I've been watching your videos for about the past 3 years and you've just been through so much and helped me with so many problems. I wish I could do something because like I said, it's incredibly hard to hear you say some of these things. I'm not going to say "stay strong" or some cliche BS like that, instead I'll just say that I genuinely hope things start to get brighter for you and that you can find something that makes you happy to be alive. You deserve it. Good luck!
You are an inspiration, never forget that you are loved by many people.
You are an inspiration and an amazing lady. I want to hug you when you cry.I appreciate your honesty. You will be here in 5 years for sure because you are one strong woman. I have OCD. It drives me crazy and sometimes it gets so bad I can't even leave the house . Keep your videos coming. lots of love to you. PS, I love your style, clothing, hair, and jewelry. YOU ROCK LADY!!!!!!
+Kanard Mauk Jr.
I have faith in you Melissa. I'm sure you will be here in 5, 10, 20 years!!! Don't give up!!!
Love ya!!!
we love you Melissa. you always have us to talk to. you are a strong lady and I admire your strength.
You're beautiful and strong Melissa you will surely be here in 5 years! Make that another goal.
My heart goes out to you. I've battled EDs, self harm, and near alcoholism for over 20 years. I've had my ups and downs, my good days and bad days....haven't self-harmed in 2 years, but often consider going back. My ED is more in control, but coming back with a vengeance at the moment. And I'm allowing it. I can't fight it.... it's my one vice. I know it's wrong and I know I can do more to kick it away, but at the moment, I don't want to. I cry and I feel worthless but I'm like you--I'm STUBBORN! I refuse to let the ED win (she says having just puked out lunch). I used to have big plans too but right now, my plan is to be here. Just to be here. You're amazing and I always feel better knowing I'm not alone when I watch your videos. Suicidal ideation plagues me every day. I'm sorry you have to go through this battle--I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy.
Keep fighting....I hope and pray you WILL be here in 5 years...stronger than ever! Passing over a safe hug to you...wish I could do anything to help you get through your hard days...you look beautiful, you look healthy but inside you need to keep yourself healthy! We love you Melissa....please remain strong...YOU CAN DO IT!!! PLEASE do it!
+Alison Damore Thanks Alison ;)
*big hug* Melissa, I think you are awesome.
I thankyou so much for being yourself and i also thankyou for your extremely helpful videos. Stay strong. hang in there.
Hey Melissa, i'm sorry that your tick attacks came back. You seem to be having it hard these days. But like you said you are a FIGHTER! You can get through this. This video was good for you, because your expressed your emotions, It was beautiful. And don't be sorry about crying. It helps in so many different ways :)
Me, i always had a hard time expressions my emotions(i didnt cry, ever).
I have been extremely emotional these past few weeks im crying a lot, sometimes for really small things. Other times im crying because I past by adorable babies. Or an adorable older couple holding hands.and also other many more reasons. Before my crying experiences, I thought I was a heartless person, I thought I wasn't ''NORMAL'' for not being able to cry.
And it always put me so down, I didn't have a outlet to relieve my pain, wanted to cry, but couldn't.
So 9 years ago I started cutting myself. I was 16. Didnt know what I got myself into.. im still struggling, been 6 months SI free. Yay to me. The longest I went SI free was 1 year. Then something happened..
Anyways, im sorry, im talking to much about myself here.
Now I have a question for you, you said we can send you things
do you have a p.o. box?
I want to send your something if possible
thanks, and take care :)
+Nicolas C My Po Box is written out on the About page of my channel ;)
Awe, crying is beautiful, and I think you'll be here in 5 years, it's almost already 2, and I feel this way all the time. I couldn't cry on video, maybe, if I was my child self personality, "PHILLIP"
Omg i want to hug you. You made me cry.
beautiful and amazing person you are. keep strong and stay away from the negative thoughts. you are a strong minded women and will conquer the negativity 😄
Sometimes you just have to cry and let it out irrespective of what others think. I don't anyone is going to judge you, especially not your RUclips subscribers. I have a condition called TMAU and trust me, everyday I think of suicide, but like you I keep on going. But I do wish you the best. You're a beautiful person and I'm glad to hear that you'll be here in 5 years and possibly more. ( ^ _ ^ )
youll be a role model and my hero
I hope u will still be here in five years cuz u have changing life's
Sometimes crying is the best way to let out emotions xx
you are very brave ,I am crying too
Really like the steampunk...:)
Hey Melissa, is it just the lighting or something like that, or did you actually lose weight? I hope your Ed isn't giving you trouble again... Im really sad for you that you still are going through so much, but I deeply trust you, you definetly be there in 5 years, even 10 or 20!you'll have a beautiful and long life, you will inspire hundreds of other people
+Malika Thueler I didnt lose weight.
And thank you ;)
I think it would be a good addition to add what the question is, on the video. Just have a little box off to the side with the question typed out, while you read it.
Very nice video you're very brave and i like your answers.
Hi Melissa (: I just wanted to say what an incredibly courageous young woman you are for stepping out of your own self, fears, and pains to touch the lives of others. May I please share with you my own testimony. I hope you take the time to read it. The pain & struggles I experienced in my life may seem very small compared to yours, but I would like to share some HOPE (: My birth mother was a heroine addict and prostitute & my birth father refused I was his even after the paternity test. I was placed immediately into foster care as a baby & then was blessed enough to be adopted at age 3. But I had reactive attachment disorder; thus, I couldn't really accept my parent's love or anybody's love for that matter. I would wake up screaming & crying from nightmares of my mother leaving me. I would fight both my parents all the time & I didn't know why because deep down inside I craved love. In middle school, I went to a racist "Christian" school, and even the one teacher that told me I was beautiful and "special" broke my heart when she openly saw a boy calling me racist names & didn't punish him at all. I lost all trust in adults. Because the teachers wouldn't do anything about it, I began fighting in school to defend myself. I was rejected by the whole school and had no friends.However, my parents would take the side of the teacher and beat me. I also had the memory of an 80 year-old lol and would forget everything (homework, my backpack at school, etc.). My mother would spank me for it, even though I truly tried my hardest to remember. I also was a bed-wetter until about age 11. Also, due to my reactive attachment disorder, I couldn't look people in the eyes. I would get SO nervous around people, even family members, that I would literally tremble and have sudden twitches and spasms. I hated to eat in front of people because sometimes out of nowhere my hand would jerk and the food would fly off my fork lol I looked to everything to relieve the pain and insecurities: music, sex, alcohol, writing. By 18, I had a nervous break down due to a pretty huge mistake I made that I'd rather not share (; I lost my vocabulary and couldn't even string sentences together. I became anorexic and became addicted to cutting. I would go out in the middle of the night and lie down in the road hopefully to get run over. I was utterly hopeless. Then I found this guy & I thought for sure he would take all the pain away. I gave him every single part of me. My parents didn't like him, so I ended up running away from home (at age 19 lol; you see I had always been mentally behind mature-wise & I had always known this which made me hate myself even more). However, the guy flat-out abandoned me & I had no place to go. I had lost everything. I know what I'm about to say will turn a lot of people off, but please hear me out. It's true because I experienced it. I HATED God. I thought he was a joke, so I would definitely not share this if it wasn't true. I came to a church service one night. I forgot to mention that the family that adopted me were church goers but I turned my back on God at age 19 when I ran away. I walked in that church service & stayed in my seat the whole time. I was numb, couldn't cry, couldn't feel, didn't have a heart, felt no remorse for my actions. But they laid hands on me & began to pray in the name of Jesus. Melissa, I'm dead serious, all of a sudden & began to twist and writhe. I was demon possessed. I'm not making this up. But being raised in church, I knew what to do. I began to scream Jesus (hey if you've tried everything--the psycho therapy, the coping skills, the booze, the drugs, the sex, the music, the writing, etc.-and nothing else has worked... WHY NOT. What do you have to lose? So I did. I cried out Jesus. And I kid you not... the craziest thing happened. I began to cry. I had stopped being able to cry a long time ago. And then I felt God's love literally fall all over me. I began to laugh. I hadn't been able to laugh in forever. My mind went clear!! I had a sound mind. I had been insane, my thoughts were always cluttered. But I could think clearly. I felt peace. I had suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for so long. But I'm not done. He began to heal me from my pain. Literally took it. This wasn't some coping skill to momentarily relieve myself or sweep the pain under the rug. No. He healed it. If I can give you any advice, please hear me, your answer is Jesus. He can take the broken pieces of your life & make something beautiful.
crying is healthy and beneficial! let out those emotions :)
Im finding it really hard to let things out to my psychiatris and its really putting me down:( any ideas what i can do?
i think you are really beautiful and look like scarlett johansson, and please don't ever give up a lot of peope love you even if you don't know it.
Love your outfit :O its so bad ass
Thank you for saying so!
This music is lovely sounds like final fantasy or something :O
I feel really stupid writing this comment, but I have to tell it someone.
I´m no at that age where everyone got a boyfriend and so something with boys. I don´t have a lot of friends ans their all girls, don´t really have a problem with that. I just wanted to be loved by someone for my hole life cause one ever does. Everyone is in love know and everyone got a lot a friends (boys too). Why can´t I just be happy for them, why do I have to be jealous? I hate it, I don´t want this anymore! I really feel like I need someone who is helping me while I´m in recovery but instead everyone else got someone accept me. I really need someone who is helping me. I don´t want to fell this jealousy, I fell like a little kid. Why can´t I just be an adult? -.- I hate it
+Eleonore Sandmann I can understand that...
***** thanks :), it felt so good to read that :O
+Eleonore Sandmann It's just how people are. It's slightly in our nature to be jealous, but you have to try your hardest to be happy for your friends. Friends are friends. They mean a lot to you and that's what matters.
Yes, thinking about yourself is very important too, but don't give up. It may take time, but when it truly happens, it will be amazing. Your first boyfriend might not be all that great and maybe not even your second, or hell even your 8th. I have been with a number of girls and all of those relationships have failed. But I am only 24 and I have plenty of time to find someone, but I am in no hurry. Just concentrate on making yourself the best you can be and people will come.
I haven't had a girlfriend in about two years and that's fine. I'm in no hurry and no one should be. When the time comes, it comes. Just enjoy everything else in your life, for right now. :)
+Eleonore Sandmann keep your head up high i'm sure you'll find someone who will love you and be there for you. ^_^
you are very cool
WOW, OMG!! I know this is irrelevant to what your saying. But omg Melissa, watch this video at 4:26 and watch the left side of where your standing. I believe you have a spirit watching over you. I could be wrong and there may be an explanation for that bubble looking thing to float up. But to me it looks pretty genuine. That is so awesome if there isn't any explanation for that.
Also just to let you know. You are so GREAT and don't you EVER think of quitting or given up. You have way to many people who LOVE you and look forward to your video's. You are saving lives yourself hun. Don't forget to save your own. And all of us will help save you to. So don't ever give up on that.💖
What's that leather thing you're wearing?
+Bill 1983 Its an awesome steampunk contraption.
+idranktheseawater I saw a girl wearing one of those things in a video. It was the kind of video I shouldn't be watching.
+Bill 1983 was wondering the same thing too. +idranktheseawater looks awesome on you
Hug
Is it me or does she looks like nickales cage?
Hi Melissa, my question is are you dating anyone? Do you date men/women? Your so pretty and I love all of your unique accessories
+CrazyRachel1984 I date men but am not currently dating anyone.
And thanks for the compliment! I like them too.
and do you game .?
+Captain smokey Nope, but 2 of my siblings do
pleaseeeee say hey to meee
+Chris Davis Im not Melissa, but hey!
+Chris Davis
Oh, I'm sorry if I didn't say hey. "Hey Chris!"
+idranktheseawater hey!!!!!!!!!!!!
+idranktheseawater I watch all your videos, I have a huge crush on you
+Chris Davis
Well
do you have any pets.
+Captain smokey I have an African Grey Parrot
Tmj disorder and dystonia curelook it up on you tube Don't always believe neurologists
In a previous video I asked if you were a virgin.. perhaps it was a little too much.
Who was the last boy you kissed and when? I just want to get to know you more :)
+YellowKazooie Last boy I kissed was a few months ago and it wouldnt be kind of me to give out identities on youtube. I take relationships seriously and dont talk about them on youtube unless they want to be.
oh yeah cause that's how you "get to know" someone better. asking them about their sexual history, and right of the bat too.
+Immortal Thanks Immortal. And love your avatar...
Je me sen très mal pour toi ! J'espère que tu aimes ça à montréal! Tu es très jolie
+geordi rendum Oui, j'aime ca a Montreal ; )
Et Merci
j'ai tout de suite reconnu l'accent francais ;) lache pas ! et moi je trouve ca très adorable ton problème :P
how about MILLION DOLLAR CAMPAIGN FOR TOURETTE'S SYNDROME and everyone you know with Tourette's gets 10,000 each, just kidding, BUT!