Workplace Bullies: Why they hate you, and how to spot them (to avoid a mobbing)!

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  • Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024

Комментарии • 81

  • @kraljpetar4677
    @kraljpetar4677 4 года назад +54

    The HR going to do nothing about that.
    Sadly.

  • @robbiea1482
    @robbiea1482 5 лет назад +57

    Very very accurate based on my personal experience. A shame that this is such a common phenomenon yet swept under the rug and not dealt with!

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +13

      Rob G, I hear you...it seems to me that free thinkers are frowned upon in our conformist "cookie-cutter" society (whereby the "top dogs" are typically former lap dogs...but you'll never hear a word about it ;)... I think the only way to uncover the truth behind mobbings is via a bottom-up approach, as those who made their way up the greasy pole by employing these strategies will not likely unmask themselves willingly. As such, it is swept under the rug (and kept there by employing false narratives)...Orwellian, really...

    • @jcbanbury
      @jcbanbury 4 года назад

      Are you able to share your experience briefly?

  • @ericaoneal6903
    @ericaoneal6903 4 года назад +17

    I confront them right away
    Doesn’t matter who it is
    I live in my truth !

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u 4 года назад +11

    Good assessment of the type of personality who bullies an adult at work. My bully really hates me and expresses a lot of anger without communicating anything helpful. She uses the 'tool' of ignoring and being cold to me while being effusively warm to ALL others.

  • @annskaggs4475
    @annskaggs4475 5 лет назад +3

    As a union business agent I tell all new employees to NEVER NEVER make friendship at work. I have seen too many ppl get fucked over. Go to work, do your job, be friendly, mind your business and don't bring ur personal business to work.

  • @jcbanbury
    @jcbanbury 4 года назад +29

    Things are getting better, but I think colleagues usually dont like me because I'm too independent and dont need anything from them especially because all my colleagues do is drink. I'm not even introverted I'm just not interested in pointless endeavours.

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  4 года назад +3

      Hi James. Thank you for your comment and input. Especially glad to hear that things are getting better for you. Cheers! :)

  • @Laydee780
    @Laydee780 4 года назад +19

    Went through a horrible experience. Your content helps validate my experience. Thank you. Just subbed.

  • @Mlis4896
    @Mlis4896 4 года назад +10

    Wow! You nailed it! Ty so much! I just left an assignment in NY and I was shocked! I have experienced such poor ethical workmanship nor dislike of me to the point of write ups! Simply bc I was everything you just stated! They hated me bc they weren’t me! 👊
    Stand together y’all! ❤️

  • @kraljpetar4677
    @kraljpetar4677 4 года назад +27

    Thouse bullies allso want to control victim for instance telling to victim what to do on work acting like hes/her managers.

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u 4 года назад +7

    kiss up, kick down! omg yes. While collecting for an anti-bullying organisation!

  • @daynahickman1246
    @daynahickman1246 4 года назад +4

    Yes spot on.. the issue in my workplace is people are afraid to talk or raise issues. But when they do they are often shut down! Being an HSP also I find it extremely difficult just being around energies. Thanks for sharing I know a few people like this.

  • @greeksalad4783
    @greeksalad4783 4 года назад +9

    1. I don't mind working and working hard. 😄
    2. I don't want coworkers, supervisors or manager(s), all up in my space. 😐😑
    3. I just want to work, do a good job at work and go home at the end of the day. 😄
    My personality test results: Mediator INFP-T

  • @eugeniebryan538
    @eugeniebryan538 5 лет назад +9

    What you said about the polarising behaviour and oversharing of really personal information is so true!

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +4

      Hi Roberta H. Thank you so much for the comment :) . I used to perceive the oversharing as a "par for the course" thing, throughout my youth, not realizing that this is a huge part of the narc and HSP/empath dynamic...The light attracts a lot of bugs that bite! LOL! The polarizing behaviour is a dead give away...For us HSPs, paying attention and trusting our observations, instinct, and intuition is key, n'est-ce-pas?

    • @eugeniebryan538
      @eugeniebryan538 5 лет назад +2

      Foxiee Dee hey :) I’m going to be very cautious about people oversharing with me in future, because I do get lots of people doing that to me.
      Trusting instincts is everything! As I’ve learnt the hard way

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +1

      Hey Roberta H! :) Well-noted...and absolutely agreed!

  • @allkindsamusicchick
    @allkindsamusicchick 4 года назад +2

    I'm pretty sure that there are horrendous bullies at every worksite, but I am at my wit's end with mine. One of my bullies had been 'hiding' in the backdrop for years, until most recently, the past 3/4 years or so, the bully has 'shown' her wrath. I had been telling my manager, but my manager had found it difficult to believe all of the abuse in the form of snide remarks, insults, being left out, ridiculed, micromanaged, butting in on many conversations, etc, etc. I've endured at the hands of this one woman. My manager is not as keen on people as I am, but thankfully, I got ONE of the episodes on camera. She stewed and schemed and came at me like a bat out of hell, very aggressive, and over something really insignificant. I was shocked, as I had always held out for a 'better' version of who she was, who I hoped that she might be. I really should know that game by now. I admit to giving several chances upon a first offense. I am always wanting to know the 'why' of the behavior, and perhaps I did or said something offensive to them. I will be in her presence again and really need to address her behavior towards me, but she will deny, just as she had denied in the past. Years ago, I had confronted her and she denied any such ill feelings towards me, therefore, any offensive behavior. How can I work with someone who denies their own behavior towards another? I'm really not sure just what to do to nip her assaults in the bud. I want her out of my way. I am really angry at this point. This has been years of hurtful behavior. In my eyes, due to the way she carries herself, I have no use for a person like this. I feel she is a sorry specimen. In the grand scheme of life, she is a nothing and a nobody, however, she is killing my spirit at work. I am wanting to leave my job because of her, and at least one other woman, they have been a constant from the beginning. I knew I was getting sick, due to the treatment on a daily basis, vowed I would get myself healthy and strong and leave on principle. Come covid, work was shut-down. Unfortunately, I really did become ill, and I blame a lot of it on the conditions at work. I have been there for over a decade, and have to walk on eggshells and appease this woman. Other than her and a few dastardly others, I have really enjoyed my job, and it pays the bills. This woman is truly a darling to many involved. They will never 'see' what she does to me. There are a few that know her other side,, but there is no one at my job who will really help me, none of the higher-ups. . No one is willing to step up and call her on it. I would love to find a working environment where people are happy and content with themselves and their own lives, that they have no energy for bad behavior. One can dream, can't they?

  • @Foxiest63
    @Foxiest63 4 года назад +3

    You are very accurate in your video. I have gone through this all my life. If there is a Narccisst in the mix that individual poisons all the staff against the person who is lovin their job.

  • @l.mack89
    @l.mack89 5 лет назад +10

    I'm an INFJ too! Thank you for uploading this video! You were spot on. 👌

  • @MegS2023
    @MegS2023 4 года назад +2

    Good lord Foxiee ! If only I have come across this video before, I have been dealing with workplace mobbing for about four years now... made me a stronger person definitely yes but had also taken away the ability to take people at face value..

  • @judioliver8082
    @judioliver8082 5 лет назад +9

    Beautifully said. Thanks so much. Just what I needed right now.

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +1

      Blessings to you, dear Judi Oliver, and glad to know that this came at a good time for you. Sending you good vibes...

  • @quanitathompson6994
    @quanitathompson6994 4 года назад +9

    My current situation I have been on my job 4 years with no problem and a new executive came in and yelled at me to lower my voice in a guest area and I ended up with 2 write ups in less than 7 days because I wasn't taking the disrespect from him. Now I'm suspended for speaking up for myself.

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  4 года назад +6

      Hi Quanita. For what it's worth, I think in situations such as yours - when one has to choose between two evils (i.e. speaking up and risking irritating a higher up vs accepting unacceptable behaviour) - one's true nature emerges. You have integrity, so you chose well. Best to you.

  • @plizzo
    @plizzo 4 года назад +3

    If I hadn't experienced it, I would have never believed just how soulless these people are. I worked with this company for ten years and all was fine until one morning a female coworker (who is innocent) smiled at me and a brat I worked with threw a loud and obnoxious temper tantrum directed at me on the office floor pushing his hand in my face. I told my supervisor about it because I felt it wasn't customers place to hear it (he was very belligerent) let alone, my job to take it. She treated me like a criminal telling me to leave him alone. I didn't say one single word to him. I got a few words in, she interrupted and twisted my words around to make it look like my fault and just kept talking refusing to let me get a word in. I guess I should have told this gal not to smile at me. After two months of harassment over the holidays (intense screaming and her face was twisted with hatred), I was fired because I told another employee about his behavior. HR swept it under the rug. I learned later he was fired for the attitude when another employee reported it. She had to save face and couldn't talk to him the same way because he wasn't worn down.

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  4 года назад +2

      Sorry you went through this. Sounds like you had an overt / covert narcissist cocktail going on at the workplace. Hope you have found a saner workplace environment / are doing your own thing. Best to you.

  • @DrErikaSalina
    @DrErikaSalina 4 года назад

    Thank you for this video -- their behavior is not a reflection of US. It's about THEM. It's so hard to remember that but we can pick ourselves up and restore our confidence and focus. We can't change them and so don't need to waste any energy wishing we could. Your words help to keep our expectations of narcissistic bullies realistic (they don't care, won't care, don't feel compassion).

  • @LoveMusic-dv4sl
    @LoveMusic-dv4sl 5 лет назад +5

    Wow, I'm an INTJ, and I'm going through it at work right now. Great video! Thank you for sharing to help.

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +2

      Thank you for your comment, Love 1980 Music. I am really sorry that you are going through this right now, but the good news is you're an INTJ! :) To me, that means you've got a very resilient personality, particularly in terms of understanding the behind the scenes "goings on", as well as being able to strategize accordingly, and "keep it together" like a pro..Please keep me posted!

    • @LoveMusic-dv4sl
      @LoveMusic-dv4sl 5 лет назад +3

      @@foxieedee8435 thank you for your positive comment. It is very hard to try & keep it together, but I'm hoping I don't loose it & tell him off which is why I'm trying to avoid talking to him unless I really have to. I'm working "very hard" to get out of that toxic environment.

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +2

      It's an honest comment, Love...I do believe you can do this without losing it: You just have to avoid being triggered (exactly like you're already doing), and / or be prepared with a quick, well thought-out, globally applicable phrase (i.e., "I am not comfortable with that statement" or "I"m not liking this; I'll get to back to you...") - and remove yourself from the situation to gather your thoughts and energy - if you happen to be triggered...You can do this...

    • @dannym6552
      @dannym6552 4 года назад

      document document :) everything

  • @nenaboram
    @nenaboram 4 года назад +3

    Thank you so much for this information. I am going thru this right now. What kind of jobs do you recommend for us corporate mizfits? I have been dealing with this for so long is affecting my personal life and health. I really need to get out of this toxic environment.

  • @fernandocastro4107
    @fernandocastro4107 5 лет назад +2

    Wow!!!! I'm also an infj, I had a friend at work like this, nobody liked him or wanted to put up with him except this other guy I became close friends with, I seemed to pick up pretty quickly that the first guy was a jerk so I tried not to tell him too much about me but the other guy would spill the beans to him and the bully guy would get mad when I'd lie to him or wouldn't tell him things which later on would cause problems with me and the other guy, the other guy to this day still puts up with him, I on the other hand changed my number. From what I've heard the bully guy finally stopped asking about me recently....

  • @anastassiaiagoupova4763
    @anastassiaiagoupova4763 4 года назад +3

    Woow I am so happy that I found your channel, I can relate... damn all my life is like that. 😂😂😂

  • @donnabigley6708
    @donnabigley6708 4 года назад +1

    Thank you for sharing! This is exactly my work place!

  • @hosmerhomeboy
    @hosmerhomeboy 5 лет назад +9

    I went away for carpentry school to finish my apprenticeship, and when i came back, a new guy had replaced me as foreman, and gotten two of my guys fired, and driven another two to quit.
    He had wormtongued his way into my bosses (my fathers) trust, and convinced him i needed some remedial training to be provided by him because i was clearly to young to do my job. I was demoted to carpenters helper, and made into this guys private whipping boy for the next year. He delighted in forcing me to do things that were unsafe, delighted in giving me wrong instructions and hiding the plans, so he could yell at me for being stupid. he would often get me to do the wrong thing, and just before the boss walked around the corner would start yelling at me for having done the wrong thing, usually something that would get the bossman to tear a strip off me.
    He deliberately sent me into a stairwell foundation and turned the nozzle of the concrete pump on me from 20 feet up, burying me and my tools in 2200 kg's of concrete (1 cubic meter), which i then had to shovel out. He would stand over my shoulder and quietly tell me i should quit, i should resent the boss, i sucked, that everyone hated me, that they laughed at me. He would stand watching me work with the clients and badmouth me to them like mad. My father (the boss) mentioned he wanted to retire, saying of me that " He's not up to running his own job, let alone the company, but he could be, if (the bully) trained him , so I'd like to pass the company on to (the bully) and (my son) jointly" The man began trying actively to get me killed, hurt, or to quit. He pushed me backwards with a cage of steel we were carrying onto some protruding dowels, that nearly impaled me but instead hit some metal on my apron and bent into an S. I got cut up and crushed by the cage pretty badly anyway. He told me to hold up an huge icy window from a ladder while he went to grab a level, then left for six hours, leaving me frostbitten so bad i lost fingernails. He pushed the new apprentice (an ally of mine) off a wall with a truss, claiming he was clumsy. He would deliberately do things badly, so he could blame me for them. After some clients asked for me personally, allowing me to escape, I caught him on my site moving my survey pins after work.
    After a time, I couldn't sleep, lacked the confidence to pursue women, lost all respect for my boss, and more or less just wanted to kill the bully and then die.
    I started waking up in a blind rage and punching holes in the walls when i could actually sleep. I began to vividly imagine plunging my hammer through the mans skull while he was turned.
    I realized i was soon going to snap, and that i had been damaged already beyond repair. I issued my boss an ultimatum : If you ever put me on the same site as that man again, consider it my lay off slip. Furthermore, if i leave, you will never see me again. Ever.
    All this was ten years ago, and I still haven't regained any respect for my father. I still haven't gotten to a place where I can care as much as i used to. I hate my job, but i am good at it, and it is all i know. My whole life was delayed several years by that man, and i still haven;t gotten back to where i had been careerwise despite being sought after by clients.

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +6

      The time, energy, and effort it must have taken you to write this incredibly descriptive story is duly noted. Few words, but many intentions for you, beginning with this: I hope you seek - and find - a great therapist who can help you reclaim your spirit and your soul...

    • @karmaisab777
      @karmaisab777 5 лет назад +4

      Five words: START YOUR OWN CARPENTRY BUSINESS.
      Don’t allow toxic animals like this to affect your self worth/mental health/finances/life!!
      Use experiences like this to motivate you, instead of being a victim. BTW, you should’ve secretly recorded this sh*t! IDC if it is illegal!

  • @infinitetundra
    @infinitetundra 4 года назад +5

    Workplace Narcissists

  • @sinead1328
    @sinead1328 4 года назад +2

    Thank you for your kindness and wisdom :) It helps, so bless your heart :)

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  4 года назад +1

      Aww, thank you :) Regarding your energy/thoughts towards me, I send them back to you with love and light. Bless your heart as well.

  • @lin21-3tig5
    @lin21-3tig5 4 года назад +2

    Hey, how are u! I hope great💕 I followed all your video's, the helped me a lot, and this one is perfectly timed.😇 I've been really busy because I had - again😅😯 - a new job, 5th job before the end of 2019. And I can only hope there are enough nice people for me too survive☺ Have a great evening😙 Linx

  • @SnapCrack.
    @SnapCrack. 4 года назад +1

    Described them so accurately ! 💯

  • @theeporcelain
    @theeporcelain 5 лет назад +2

    I left my awful job, not before i was told “and dont get all teary eyed with me, do you damn job” and told to leave everyone alone because im annoying, and becoming aggravated because absolutely no fucking one notices im there till the last second. Im burning all my work clothes

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +1

      Hi there. Happy for you that you left...I hope you burn those clothes in a directed manner, wishing the workplace perps to receive exactly what they deserve, with soulful intent (N.B., just like this; don't fill in the blanks with what you think they deserve)...Send that bad energy right back to them. Doing similar energy work helped me transcend events whereby forgiveness was simply not an option...Good luck to you!

    • @theeporcelain
      @theeporcelain 5 лет назад +2

      Thank you dear! I plan on burning them traditionally wiccan and sending off the energy toward them. Its obviously for my own protection.. id never wish harm on a single person. I wished a co worker luck before i left the job

    • @theeporcelain
      @theeporcelain 5 лет назад

      Irony is my spirit animal is a fox. :3 who tend to loom in the back doing their own things. While my fiance is a wolf i think hes a black wolf.. but were very strong coupling if i ever saw one haha

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад

      Best to you and your fiancé...Time to enjoy your journey! :)

  • @sanunez09
    @sanunez09 5 лет назад +4

    You hit it right on the spot

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад

      Hey there Sandra Nunez, thank you. Wishing you a great day!

  • @SB-gl4lh
    @SB-gl4lh 4 года назад +4

    How do you convince management that this person is not an asset but a liability?

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  4 года назад +2

      Hi S B. Couldn't tell you: That's typically the first step towards mobbing someone.

  • @dionnewashington4585
    @dionnewashington4585 4 года назад

    Thank you so much for this upload.

  • @herschaft
    @herschaft 5 лет назад +3

    Capitalism and all monetary based societies generate value system disorders by design. Capitalism is based on exponential growth and is therefore unsustainable, given the fact that we live on a planet with finite resources. Humanity needs to find a way to wean itself off of money entirely in order to continue existing on this planet. One feasible method of achieving this is to transition to a Resource-Based Economy. I urge you to research RBE if you've never heard of it. "It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  • @mak7eye
    @mak7eye 5 лет назад +5

    Thank you

    • @foxieedee8435
      @foxieedee8435  5 лет назад +1

      Thank you as well...Makes it worthwhile :)

  • @dreamer8724
    @dreamer8724 4 года назад

    That was awesome, thank you SO MUCH❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @Mslove728
    @Mslove728 4 года назад

    Thank you for this video ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @queeie718
    @queeie718 4 года назад

    This was on point💯

  • @timkerman8199
    @timkerman8199 4 года назад

    Very helpful. Thankyou

  • @jodies7711
    @jodies7711 4 года назад +1

    Infj also

  • @cherylgoh4943
    @cherylgoh4943 4 года назад +1

    Thank you