I have C-PTSD because of my narcissistic mother who may also have histrionic traits. I was originally diagnosed with BPD but my mother recently had an illness so that triggered the PTSD (very badly -lots of abuse) and the diagnosis was changed. I watched this for information on NPD and HPD and it was very informative. Thanks for the video.
Thanks for the insights. Great talking points about what kind of environments and conditions create these kinds of personality disorders. The "Corrective experience" is a crucial element. Hardly anyone ever talks about this aspect of therapy, recovery and management when discussing the issues. After years of therapy, I had only recently learned about the meaning and purpose of introjection. Dealing with C-PTSD and Borderline issues I've always struggled w meaningful transformation (ie, getting past recalcitrated emotions) and in the last few months, I've learned about how negative and positive introjection plays into affect storms, flashbacks, etc. The positive impact of the corrective experience (and how CBT as a stand-alone treatment isn't the magic bullet) should be broadcast and propagated for everyone to internalize. This kind of recognition is how people move forward past their problems. Thanks for going there and advocating!
Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and other books about personality disorders. His work is cited in hundreds of books and dozens of academic papers. He is Visiting Professor of Psychology, Southern Federal University, Rostov-on-Don, Russia and Professor of Finance and Psychology in CIAPS (Centre for International Advanced and Professional Studies). He spent many years developing a treatment modality for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Sam was the first person I read and about and watched his videos about 4 years ago. It's amazing how manny more people and videos recently providing really good insight into these serious psychological problems that are happening
What's best therapy for someone who's been in a turbulent relationship with someone with BPD? I was involved with someone with BPD for approximately 18 months and the idealization/devaluation did a number on my psyche. I loved this person but was ultimately forced out of the relationship due to the constant push/pull toxic nature of it. I live in the Seattle area incidentally. Cheers!
Mhmm, BPD has 25% co-morbid with NPD, but, I also have read studies that like 40% have AvPD co-morbidly... an even bigger group, yet no psychologist/mental health worker seems to talk about that, and always stay within the cluster...
I have a question if you dont mind . My neice shows many many signs of a personality disorder, when you talk about childhood trauma , neglect, abandonment can a short period of neglect then a great home life still produce personality disorders? Just a little background she was born to a drug addicted mother and was taken away at age 4 and that's when my mother her grandmother adopted her then her life was wonderful but she has always had behavior and personality problems since she was adopted no matter how much love and attention we give her it's not enough and makes us feel like it was our fault etc.. could she have had it that long? shes 19 now
A drug addicted mother and then being forcibly removed, all before her 5th birthday, was not a short period of time. It is THE time that we learn how to be in the world. You can see it as the original scaffolding of developing our personalities too, and how we see ourselves and respond. Please don't try to identify what is happening on your own. The current family dynamic is also a part of it, and is also playing an active role in her responses, for example. She may also have many unresolved traumas from her childhood, and what you are seeing may only LOOK like a personality disorder but may be PTSD, for example. Thank goodness she has people who do care about her wellbeing, and want her to be happy and healthy. Bless you for that!
Fantastic video, Dr. Honda! It was really helpful for me to understand how people develop these disorders. Quick question for you: do you have a good DBT workbook in mind? Thank you very much!
Google Specific Features of Suicidal Behavior in Patients With Narcissistic Personality Disorder Hilario Blasco-Fontecilla et al. J Clin Psychiatry. Nov 2009
Hi! I've seen some articles which argue that children born late often present personality disorders. What is your opinion on this? Is it possible that a child without any traumatic history might still develop these disorders if they were born late?
I haven't seen that research. Sounds interesting. Yes, it's possible that temperament can play a role, but in my experience, all cases of personality disorders have significant problems in childhood. But sometimes, the problems are hard to identify, particularly for the individual with the disorder. E.g., depressed mother who loves her child.
Psychology In Seattle Fair enough! I was only asking because one of my family members signed an information form when they went to counselling and one of the questions was "Were you born early/late/on time" and I found it to be an interesting question!
I had a fear of abandonment so I was definitely borderline. I needed attention, would get angry when I was not getting the attention I felt I deserved and needed approval. If someone I dated disrespected me, ignored me for no good reason or insulted me then I would get very angry. I was more histrionic when I was a teenager and in my twenties. I thought I had to be sexual to be loved. I had a fear of abandonment as well in my teenage years and in my twenties when a boyfriend broke up with me. I helped care for my mom when I was growing up because my dad physically abused her. I did refer to people as best or worst.
Thanks for sharing your own experiences. You speak in the past tense now, and I'm wondering if you have found more self confidence and a better way of navigating relationships? If so, I would love to hear how you did it. It must have been hard on you
My malignant Narcissistic husband broke our 19 year marriage for a histrionic woman. He is the poster boy for NPD, she is the poster girl for HPD. I would like to hear your opinion of how that relationship will go. They have turned all our friends against them. We were all friends for years and then everything changed.
I have seen a couple exactly like you describe. They have a really abusive relationship towards each other, but their deep fears of rejection have kept them together for the past 24 years, no matter what. This couple have also isolated themselves from all external relationships, but that too serves to keep them together. They have no where to turn, and no-one to help offer support. Of course, each relationship is different, and it may be different for your ex than the couple I describe
I suspect that gay men tend to suffer disproportionately from NPD and HPD, just the way they tend to be more into their appearance, the way they show off their bodies on dating apps, the way a lot of them tend to hop from relationship to relationship.
Rory not all HPDs use their bodies for attention. Yes they inappropriately sexualise everyone but I've known 2 later in life play frail victim but look rather ordinary.
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I have C-PTSD because of my narcissistic mother who may also have histrionic traits. I was originally diagnosed with BPD but my mother recently had an illness so that triggered the PTSD (very badly -lots of abuse) and the diagnosis was changed. I watched this for information on NPD and HPD and it was very informative. Thanks for the video.
Really glad that you finally have the right diagnosis now. The treatment will be so much more effective and will be life changing over time.
Thanks for the insights. Great talking points about what kind of environments and conditions create these kinds of personality disorders. The "Corrective experience" is a crucial element. Hardly anyone ever talks about this aspect of therapy, recovery and management when discussing the issues. After years of therapy, I had only recently learned about the meaning and purpose of introjection. Dealing with C-PTSD and Borderline issues I've always struggled w meaningful transformation (ie, getting past recalcitrated emotions) and in the last few months, I've learned about how negative and positive introjection plays into affect storms, flashbacks, etc. The positive impact of the corrective experience (and how CBT as a stand-alone treatment isn't the magic bullet) should be broadcast and propagated for everyone to internalize. This kind of recognition is how people move forward past their problems. Thanks for going there and advocating!
Agreed!
Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and other books about personality disorders. His work is cited in hundreds of books and dozens of academic papers. He is Visiting Professor of Psychology, Southern Federal University, Rostov-on-Don, Russia and Professor of Finance and Psychology in CIAPS (Centre for International Advanced and Professional Studies). He spent many years developing a treatment modality for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Sam was the first person I read and about and watched his videos about 4 years ago. It's amazing how manny more people and videos recently providing really good insight into these serious psychological problems that are happening
Great video. Thanks for making this. I have BPD. Well some days I do 😂 it’s hard to live with. Thanks again
You're welcome.
I was diagnosed with BPD after one session with a psychiatrist but after this video, I see that I have symptoms of all three of these disorders...
Hi Kirk, great video! A life coach here in the UK called Richard Grannon has spoken a lot at length about narcissism on RUclips. I found it useful!
Thanks!
What's best therapy for someone who's been in a turbulent relationship with someone with BPD? I was involved with someone with BPD for approximately 18 months and the idealization/devaluation did a number on my psyche. I loved this person but was ultimately forced out of the relationship due to the constant push/pull toxic nature of it. I live in the Seattle area incidentally. Cheers!
Mhmm, BPD has 25% co-morbid with NPD, but, I also have read studies that like 40% have AvPD co-morbidly... an even bigger group, yet no psychologist/mental health worker seems to talk about that, and always stay within the cluster...
Thank you. You are doing a great job👍👍
I'm a histrionic male and all i think about is how ugly i am and how much I want to die.
I have a question if you dont mind . My neice shows many many signs of a personality disorder, when you talk about childhood trauma , neglect, abandonment can a short period of neglect then a great home life still produce personality disorders? Just a little background she was born to a drug addicted mother and was taken away at age 4 and that's when my mother her grandmother adopted her then her life was wonderful but she has always had behavior and personality problems since she was adopted no matter how much love and attention we give her it's not enough and makes us feel like it was our fault etc.. could she have had it that long? shes 19 now
A drug addicted mother and then being forcibly removed, all before her 5th birthday, was not a short period of time. It is THE time that we learn how to be in the world.
You can see it as the original scaffolding of developing our personalities too, and how we see ourselves and respond.
Please don't try to identify what is happening on your own. The current family dynamic is also a part of it, and is also playing an active role in her responses, for example.
She may also have many unresolved traumas from her childhood, and what you are seeing may only LOOK like a personality disorder but may be PTSD, for example.
Thank goodness she has people who do care about her wellbeing, and want her to be happy and healthy. Bless you for that!
Fantastic video, Dr. Honda!
It was really helpful for me to understand how people develop these disorders.
Quick question for you: do you have a good DBT workbook in mind?
Thank you very much!
Thanks! Sorry, I don't know of a good workbook. There's probably a DBT workbook out there somewhere.
Isn't the fact that they're anticipating the relationship ending once the 5 years or so is over an important factor?
I was wondering if anybody can cite or share a reliable study that deals with the question of NPD and (high/low) suicide rates?
Google Specific Features of Suicidal Behavior in Patients With Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Hilario Blasco-Fontecilla et al. J Clin Psychiatry. Nov 2009
Hi! I've seen some articles which argue that children born late often present personality disorders. What is your opinion on this? Is it possible that a child without any traumatic history might still develop these disorders if they were born late?
I haven't seen that research. Sounds interesting. Yes, it's possible that temperament can play a role, but in my experience, all cases of personality disorders have significant problems in childhood. But sometimes, the problems are hard to identify, particularly for the individual with the disorder. E.g., depressed mother who loves her child.
Psychology In Seattle Fair enough! I was only asking because one of my family members signed an information form when they went to counselling and one of the questions was "Were you born early/late/on time" and I found it to be an interesting question!
I had a fear of abandonment so I was definitely borderline. I needed attention, would get angry when I was not getting the attention I felt I deserved and needed approval. If someone I dated disrespected me, ignored me for no good reason or insulted me then I would get very angry. I was more histrionic when I was a teenager and in my twenties. I thought I had to be sexual to be loved. I had a fear of abandonment as well in my teenage years and in my twenties when a boyfriend broke up with me. I helped care for my mom when I was growing up because my dad physically abused her. I did refer to people as best or worst.
Thanks for sharing your own experiences. You speak in the past tense now, and I'm wondering if you have found more self confidence and a better way of navigating relationships?
If so, I would love to hear how you did it. It must have been hard on you
My malignant Narcissistic husband broke our 19 year marriage for a histrionic woman. He is the poster boy for NPD, she is the poster girl for HPD. I would like to hear your opinion of how that relationship will go. They have turned all our friends against them. We were all friends for years and then everything changed.
I have seen a couple exactly like you describe. They have a really abusive relationship towards each other, but their deep fears of rejection have kept them together for the past 24 years, no matter what.
This couple have also isolated themselves from all external relationships, but that too serves to keep them together. They have no where to turn, and no-one to help offer support.
Of course, each relationship is different, and it may be different for your ex than the couple I describe
I suspect that gay men tend to suffer disproportionately from NPD and HPD, just the way they tend to be more into their appearance, the way they show off their bodies on dating apps, the way a lot of them tend to hop from relationship to relationship.
Rory not all HPDs use their bodies for attention. Yes they inappropriately sexualise everyone but I've known 2 later in life play frail victim but look rather ordinary.