Beautiful Dead Girls: The Romanticized Death of the Teenage Girl
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 30 янв 2024
- Get a whole month of great cinema FREE on MUBI: mubi.com/finalgirlstudios
WHERE TO FIND ME
Substack: finalgirlstudios.substack.com/
Instagram: / finalgirldiary
Letterboxd: boxd.it/49rL9
Business Inquiries: TheFinalGirlStudios@gmail.com
fair use
portions of this video, including the use of third party clips and content, constitute "fair use" under the federal copyright laws. Works that are educational and scholarly in purpose in nature are protected and the fair use laws protect comment, criticism, and critique as well as using Works in a manner that is deemed de minimis in nature and where the third-party content is used in a transformative manner as is being done in this video/film/Work.
In no manner do I intend on passing off any third party copyrighted work my own.
(credit: Steven Vondran)
Tags: the virgin suicides, Ophelia, hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, Marilyn Monroe,
When you're a dead woman, you're also a silent woman and therefore can't interfere with dreamy/romantic/tragic narratives people dream up about you because a woman as is is not enough, there has to be some kind of "myth". Good example of this is Marilyn Monroe.
She's been dead for so long, but each movie about her, each portrayal, each piece of merch or her personal item sold on auctions feels like us dismembering her over and over again. Like she's Tomie. Those who are familiar with "Tomie" manga will get exactly what I'm talking about.
People who control media can shape what pop culture is. I know many westerns just gulliblely eat up all the narrative s they're fed, just like this video's topic. But while Marilyn was the first character to both embody the male and female gaze en mass, in sense the female desire to be beautiful and desired by men along with the glamorization of the film, from glamorous makeups to expensive gowns. But has it ever crossed people's minds that Marilyn is no more special than all the other actresses of old Ho lly w oo d, as if there ever was a shortage of beautiful, skinny, white women adorn in old school glamour. Why is the public transfixed I Marilyn? I tell you why - because the movie studios bought rights to her name and image and everything that's related to her. And what's the point of wasting money on such a thing or how can it earn them money if not continually popping content related to her? Or the sale of her estate. It's not that Marilyn, the person has something different or unique about her, it's that the studios have done the best job with Marilyn in achieving everything they ever wanted with her character - the exclusive glamour that only the rich can afford, the beauty that was reversed and envied, the way her character translated to real life the way men pinned after her and she truly was the pinup girl of her time - the terrific job on hair, makeup, and wardrobe - so the studios pat themselves on the back and remind you ever so often so you'll remember their work and craftsmanship. Marilyn's films were all about selling a fantasy and they did that so well, that's why she's revered. Not to mention she's also a poster child and pinup for plastic surgery, as most of her beauty was achieved with surgery and she's the most famous to come out. Those are the only reasons. Nobody is interested in Marilyn, the person, save for few female fans - most people are just in love with her beauty. The actresses before her must've not had as much work done because it was only Marilyn that achieved the closest to the ideal, sultry gaze in a shade of blue and full lips, adorned in lipstick and her immaculately thin, shaved down nose. Along with an hourglass figure.
People just idealize the carefully crafted ideal image of Marilyn and not the person herself, as she was far from an ideal as illustrated by her public affairs (the lack of ethical morals she had) and her ddr*g problem.
Marilyn is overrated and I wish people stopped bringing her up because how are y'all gonna glorify not only a cheater but someone who had the most illicit of affairs. Forget her glamorous beautiful image the person underneath it is very unattractive
I know about Marilyn and Tomie, the parallels are alarmingly similar, seen as villains, being taken advantage of, used as scapegoats, men have used and manipulated both of them, were used as justification of men’s actions, and misunderstood and misrepresented
Funnily, this reminds me of American Gods, where the woman dies. And then she's around. She has a will, she makes choices, her dead self is decaying and unappealing and scary rather than frozen in beauty. Eventually she choses to die for good, and it's far from perfect, but many aspects of her character feel like a purposeful subversion of the trope. Her death is the starting incident and yet she refuses to be fridged and crawls out and stays around.
Eh
When I was a teenager I was severely depressed and suicidal and ironically my cystic acne, as much as I fcking hated it, is one of the only reasons I didn’t kill myself because I didn’t want to have an ugly corpse. I had nightmares of first responders and the coroner seeing me without makeup. Wow that’s insane to think about now.
out of all the comments, this is the one that hit me the hardest. you unlocked a memory for me- i had practically the same thought about dying. "no, im too fat n ugly to kay em ess... i should work on looking better before i die so my fresh face is what people will remember."
i used to also try to take as many good pics of me when i was pretty enough in my eyes so if i die theyd have good photos to release..
@@KuJayCools honestly this video hit me so hard it unlocked this memory in me, and I’ve been thinking about it since. I might not have acne anymore but I still have suicidal ideation and watching this made me realize I still carry that “too ugly to die” mentality. I guess i’ve had it so long now it’s just… there. Damn. Anyway, I’m so sorry you can relate to this on any level. It is kinda comforting to me though that we’re not alone in these thoughts.
yeah i rarely ever comment. i just wanted to show you youre not alone c: !!
i relate to just carrying it w you as well. i cant say im suicidal, since i dont really actively wanna die,, but i do think about how death would just remove all my problems. then i think "but ive still got weight to lose"
Holy shit, you unlocked a memory of mine. I remember being suicidal when I was 12, but one of the main things I was doing when searching for suicide methods was how my body would look after death. I genuinely wanted to die beautiful because I thought that otherwise, nobody would really miss me, or see me as something worth mourning. That's fucking wild man.
@@KuJayCools thank you so much for taking the time, that really means a lot to me. I have basically those exact same thoughts. Like word for word. The synchronicity here is unbelievably heartbreaking… like I would never think that way about another person, but when it comes to myself… I’m more brutal than I had even fully realized.
Pausing for a second here because what you said really hit home. All of my trauma-based behaviors, I was always told, "you're just doing it for attention." What's wrong with needing attention? If someone needs attention, that means that there's something WRONG and you should PAY ATTENTION. How is that hard to comprehend?
I don't even think something has to be wrong. Humans are social creatures and it's natural for us to want other people's attention, acceptance and validation. It's only a problem when we start to pursuit those things so fiercely that we ruin our lives and others' or stop pursuing things we want because others disapprove. We need people. It's fine to care about how they perceive us.
I think out capitalist hyper individualistic society is to blame for us trying to combat natural harmless human behaviors and glorifying the "everybody is for themselves, I don't need anybody, I'm 100% independent and everyone else except me is unreliable and stupid" type of worldviews.
@@miss_conduct.oh, I agree 100% - I was just speaking in the context of the specific behaviors I was exhibiting at the time of the "cry for help" variety, if that makes sense? I'm Filipina-Caucasian, and despite being born and raised in the US, my household was, culturally, very Filipino. And, as a result, the extreme individualism I see in The dominant culture around me, it honestly baffles me and makes utterly no sense. Humans have needed one another since the dawn of our species, and to this day we need one another to survive and thrive in any meaningful way. From the womb, babies need touch and socialization, and we tend to forget that adults do too.
basically it means that whatever your doing is you only doing so for peoples attention. like say…..having a breakdown in the middle of a hallway.
there are healthy ways of communicating you need attention…..whatever trauma based behavior you are exhibiting is definitely not one of those, and nor should people interfere if the only thing you want is peoples attention
I see what you mean, but some youngsters (and adults) just seek unnecessary amounts of attention that others simply just cant give... you give somebody too much attention and will turn into needy narcissists... people need to understand from an early age that the world doesnt turn around them.
However I do understand that some kids are completely neglected and, in those cases, the attention is justified
And y'all, that's exactly what I meant in my comment - I'm a survivor of some pretty extreme childhood abuse, and the acting out that I did, was as a young teenager who was in desperate need for therapeutic help and mental health resources. I'm a 45-year-old grown adult now, with years of therapy under her belt and many decades of healing as well. I'm just saying that too often, people dismiss this behavior outright without asking why. Even an adults, there's a why behind it - unhealed trauma, a maladjustment in learning how to act appropriately, etc. But writing folks off for that instead of showing them a better way is counterproductive. Trying to understand why and invite them to seek better paths, showing them a new way to do things, why not just pay attention and help people and try to understand them instead of just writing them off?
I'm Anishinaabe. Before i was born my cousin went missing walking from her house to another cousins house. When they called the police to report her missing they said "Indian kids run away". My dad, who was a Detroit cop, contacted them and explained his wife's niece didn't fit the profile for a runaway. Good home, close friends, great grades in school, lots of close relatives... they still insisted Indian kids run away (idk if they realized my dad was Anishinaabe as well).
Sara was never found. Never heard from. It's been over 40 yrs, her mom and my dad are dead now, and there was never a trace of my oldest cousin after that day.
Unfortunately, it still happens today. If you're a non-white, or God forbid a migrant, and if you're gone missing, cops would just throw your case into their trash bin, not even bothered to open it. You're just done. It's expected for non-white people to be raped, brutalized, murdered or being kidnapped. If you'r a non-white, you're expected to be assaulted and then vanish from the world in silence. Like you never existed before.
Do you remember this monster named Jeffree Dahmer? He kidnapped, sexually assaulted, tortured and brutally murdered men, and majority of them were young or underage Black boys. His crimes were definitely racialized. Now because of afwul movie, mostly white people romanticize him, call him "a gay icon"! For commiting unspeakable to Black teenagers! Or how Eric Harris and Dylan Clebold shouted racist insults to the only one Black victim in the Columbine school library before killing him, and people didn't give a damn about this! Even I'm not a Black person, this still enrages me. How non-white victims of serial killers are just nothing to the racist society, how they're victimblamed and portrayed as "deserved to die", for the purpose and power of the white man.
I’m so sorry, too many kids are being called runaways, I hope you and your family find closure
God bless & bring peace to your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
If I’m not mistaken, Indigenous girls make up the largest population of missing girls but exact numbers and data are unreported.
God... I didn't know about those men wanting to be buried next to Marilyn Monroe and it makes me fucking sick
It's men like them that paint the rest of us in a bad light.
I’d heard about Hugh Hefner before, but the other guy wanting to be buried on top of her as if he’s eternally f**king her……. I mean, wow. And the fact that he asked his WIFE to arrange that for him?!? Just completely inhuman and disgusting.
Same I had to pause the video and just dip out for a few moments, so many men in the film industry (or fame industry all round) are horrible so these twisted ideas about the beautiful dead girl find their perseverance in men like this.
This whole video is so thought provoking but that part shook me to my core.
I remember how horrified people were when I talked about how I fantasized about my own funeral and the things people would say about me. Some of the other girls could relate. The dudes were like "WTF?" But yeah, not me at 16 thinking I would be at my most beautiful in a black dress, lying in a coffin... I think about the romantic, soft pastel depictions of Ophelia, drowned and surrounded by flowers. Then I remember what being in water long enough does to a corpse and yeah... not so pretty.
I never fantasized about my own funeral because I never thought of anybody who would miss me. Still can't.
I honestly don't mind your frequent talks about the Madonna and the Mistress dichotomy across your essays. It goes to show just how much relevancy it continues to carry in the various depictions of women on film; that regardless of content, it's all too easy for female characters to fall into either of these two categories, especially if they're only presented with one- or two-character traits. Plus, it stresses how fast certain screenplays will turn a Madonna into Mistress, but almost never a Mistress into a Madonna. 🌓
I feel the same way but worry it will get annoying lol! Like girl get a different talking point. But it really is so pervasive across all media depicting women. And wow yeah that’s such a good point. A woman can be “tainted” but never redeemed.
@@FinalGirlStudios I actually find this tropes' pervasiveness in media WAY more annoying than you drawing attention to it. Because at least your critical eye goes some way towards dismantling the subconscious hold these tropes can have over women and especially girls. Keep doing what you're doing. ❤
Yr one of the few women see how common this is, so I really appreciate you and it’s one of the reasons I boycott a lot of stuff such a the latest sexy baby (which is another category in all its own) Poor Things
Another example of how society holds up the aesthetic of a tradition, and never the meaning. Weren't teenage girls married off and forced to bear children at the time the original fairytales were written? Many of them dying as they gave birth? It also makes sense that, by contrast, a woman's age is villainised, as usually older women are the only ones who stand the slightest chance of standing up to the society that could have crushed or killed her.
I mean, I think teenage girls marrying in the past is not as common as people think. A lot of the time the averages were actually around the young 20s which is still pretty young, but still. Also, if you were married that young you weren't always expected to give birth to a child right away. Also keep in mind that sometimes it was not *super* "forced" (especially w someone around the same age). I'd say there was an undercurrent of enforcement, since the idea that there are other options available was not advertised. But yeah, depends on the culture. We're talking about 1000s of years across several continents lol.
@@marioksoresalhillick299 Perhaps I was oversimplifying it in connecting the symbolism to real life expectations. Quite often, art can be exaggerated anyway. But as you say, it was still expected for younger women to marry regardless of the age of the men. And if a woman had no financial agency of her own, was dependent upon her husband and could literally be exchanged for something in the way of a dowry...like, come on, are we really gonna minimize that? That sounds pretty damned forced to me.
Depending on the culture the age was usually older than you think. In ancient China typical marriage age for girls was at least 18-20 years old as standard for a very long time. Also, often cultures had a tradition of some of the money or goods given over at the marriage was owned by the husband, but some of it was often basically a nest egg that earned money for the woman and she kept it her whole life as income.
the concept of the preservation of beauty in death reminds me a lot of L'Inconnue de la Seine. a woman drowned in the seine, but she was so beautiful that when they discovered her body. Copies of her face (death masks) were sold around the country, became fashionable- and eventually she became the model for rescusi anne **______**
I just had to google this. The concept is wild to me…people were able to profit off a random woman’s death because they found her pretty.
That reminds me of the woman who jumped off the Empire state building and fell on top of a car. She was completely intact and looked like she was just sleeping, so many pictures were taken of her. I forget her name, but this was a thing that actually happened.
Didn't she actually commit suicide and her family *sold* her body? They literally wanted to renounce ties to her due to her "sin" and that's why a death mask was able to be taken and reproduced.
@@AE-up1nd As far as I know, it is not at all clear whether this woman and the story behind her death even existed.
@@AE-up1nd That was a different girl. It's still messed up, especially with the "sin" part. Suicide victims are still human beings deserving of being mourned with respect and given a proper burial.
When you die as a mother, they will eulogise you the way one would a loyal family dog who got the paper on time. You're spoken of only in terms of the service you provided to others. Ive seen it several times across races and religions.
There is no mention of you or your passions. Just the series of jobs you did with a smile. THAT farking terrifies me. Im too domesticated to be burried a Jezebel and I'm too old to be an ingenue.
I'll get the basic "she was a good mule" that all black afabs over 30 are expected to be, even from the people who truly love me. The thought of it makes me want to vomit.
this is beautifully written omg
This comment hit me like a sack of bricks. You are completely right
This comment sent me into another episode of existential dread, but you worded it very well.
the way you summed this up so succinctly wrecked me a bit as a black afab and eldest daughter. It's so powerful and well written I can almost guarantee someone is going to steal it and give you no credit. Bet I'll see a rewritten version on tiktok posted by a palm shaded girly claiming it as her own.
@MiniWeeMoose there really is something about being raised as an oldest daughter, isn't there? It's exhausting, and you really can't shake it. It wouldn't be the first time 🥛 stole, won't be the last.
How interesting would it be to have a zombie apocalypse story dealing with this subject. An epidemic of beautiful dead girls, but no longer compliant. So many interesting themes could be explored with this setting.
Ahhhhhh pls write this!!!
@@FinalGirlStudios I lack practice in writing so I fear I won't do justice to this subject. Hopefully, a good writer will come across my comment and feel inspired !
@@bubblebul8475i will write that for you 🫡
@@bubblebul8475 girl please bffr, ur original comment was so creative and ur short comments so eloquent. Please write this, I need it from your brain 🥹🥹🥹
Hi!!! I am not a writer necessarily but in the arts + dabble in acting... your comment has really inspired me!! I love this idea and I know this is weird but can we figure out a way to collab?! I can work on writing but I would love to pick you brain about the themes your thinking of...also would love @finalgirlstudios to join in on your suggestions too as I sometimes lack the eloquence in writing and would love feedback!
This speaks to me. In high school my friends and I heavily romanticized movies like Virgin Suicides. I think part of starving ourselves came from wanting to look half-dead. We were nihilists who regarded ourselves as superior to our male counterparts, because we could make suffering look beautiful. And ofc Lana Del Rey started getting popular at that time… she illustrated our lives.
We went off to live in different big cities, had fast-paced existences flying too close to the sun. We each wanted to see how far our individual rabbit holes went, knowing all the while that there was a precious part of us none of the monsters plotting to consume us could reach. None of us planned to live very long. For me, I only sought company in awful people because good ones would miss me too much when I died.
It’s been years since I’ve felt that way (thankfully) and I don’t romanticize the past at all. I make art and laugh a lot. Joy is my favorite aesthetic so far.
I wish the same could be said about my friends… some are okay, but some have disappeared.
God loves you 💕
“For me, I only sought company in awful people because good ones would miss me too much when I died” needs to be read by everyone
girl the way i RAN to this video
SAMEEEE
SAMEE LOL
I was sexualized a lot by my own relatives as a kid but as I got closer to adulthood, the amount of unprovoked resentment and accusations from adults around me drastically increased and it made me want to find a way to stay frozen in childhood. People are nicer to the pretty little girl because she isn't mature enough to call them out or to weaponize herself. As you can see, many people have an OVERT resentment and fear of beautiful adult women, so they try to sabotage and scare little girls out of becoming the very type of woman they resent (and obsess over) the most.
That's really interesting because i noticed the opposite trend for me. The height of being sexualised against my will was between the ages of 13 and 15. Granted, I started needing a bra at 11, so maybe we just developed at different times. My response was to dress like I was older and to wear more makeup. I didn't cover up more, I switched out the oversized hoodies for form-fitting sweaters. I was probably just perceived as more serious or intelligent. Disturbingly, the less I look like a preteen, the less attention I get. Like I'm 24 now, I'm theoretically still youthful for a few more years, but the creepy men who used to bother me actually want preteens without a developed brain.
thank you for getting into how whiteness and thinness plays into how young female death is romanticized. when i was a suicidal filipino teen girl i GENUINELY used to think "well my death won't be SUCH a burden - it would be worse if i was skinny and white" - my lack of whiteness and thinness somehow made my own suicide seem ..justifiable. the girls who were mourned did not resemble me
Well, that is horrifying and obviously untrue. Suicide is never more acceptable and you should not feel less than. However, I would say this entire video comes across absurdly western and euro centric. The issues and concepts she is discussing do not really fully carry over once you leave this bubble. I think that is important to know. People would often be surprised if they researched and delved into cultures historically. It’s usually completely alien to the current female modern view of things. And it makes sense. If you want to carry on your family and bloodline then what do young dead girls to for you? Nothing. They are perhaps tragic and sad, but not meaningful. Don’t get caught up in what is essentially a modern contagion or mind virus. Aspire to grow into a proper terrifying matriarch or wise woman in the fullness of your life span.
@@LotusesGalaxyOcean uh dude wtf?
Wtf ..this is so stupid and alarming
I remember when I was a little girl I really wanted to get really sick and die because I thought that would somehow make me more "pure" and that my family members would finally take care of me, and speak of me nicely.I grew up in an abusive household, and the only family member who had time for me and my sister, used to beat me up and would call me slurs like "bitch" or "whore" even tho I was a child.I wanted to get sick so that family member would finally go easy on me and would see me as "the good girl".I'm adult now, and don't live with that family member anymore, but sometimes I catch myself by trying to be that "tragically pretty girl with a hard life" because I feel like that would make people around me to be more sympathetic me.I try to get rid of that because I think that limits the way I can express myself , because I have to play the role of the "perfect victim' all the time, or nobody would believe me
i felt similar when i was younger (young teen and below) and then i got sick and all i felt like was a (ugly) burden. with mh issues you just can't win huh
I feel this all too well. I grew up with a mentally abusive addict, then was taken to live with my neglectful father. I tend to be open about my abuse growing up, but some people think it's just for attention because I look too normal, rather than a hermit afraid of people and bowing to their every need because I "can't bear to be abused anymore". No, I worked past that, and all my trauma is inside. Nonetheless, I used to fantasize about dying (I have untreated depression and literally have been suicidal from a young age) and whether my family would finally notice me. That just made it worse once my mind started telling me they probably would lie and say how good a kid I used to be or whatever when they never really knew me. Now I've moved out and openly talk about my abuse more because, one, mental and emotional abuse is real, and two, to show not every abuse survivor or victim is a crying, unstable, cowardly mess like in media or stereotypes
It’s insane people didn’t imagine rue as black. I personally thought she was perfectly cast and didn’t even realize other people thought otherwise, and because of all things her skin color. Cant even have a character who is of color BE of color
Actually it’s not “insane”. Let’s stop acting obtuse over what is a common thing. Black girls are not seen as innocent or worth saving. When people think about shy, helpless little girls, the first thing they think of are little white girls. And I definitely think that’s why that even though rue is black, she’s very light skinned. They picked her as the “safe choice”, and yet people still didn’t like it. That’s how worthless black girls are to people
Same for me. It was 100 percent clear to me and the movie and the book made me cry over her death. The scene broke my heart.
Seriously?!?! It said so in the book, she was dark skinned, naturally you can assume she was black. How the fuck did people got that confused?
I'm one of those who didn't imagine her black haha, being Spanish where is easier to find "white" but tanned people than black population , a black girl wasn't what popped into my mind. Having said this, when I saw a black Rue, I was as surprised as someone who imagined a straight haired girl curly. After all, the beauty of a book is that every person haves different views and experiences reading the same. Having said this, I loved Rue in the film and I enjoyed it a lot, I don't think she was wrongly represented just because it didn't fit my personal imagination, so what I'm trying to say is that please, don't judge people that automatically didnt come with black character, reading is something very personal after all
@@crischiva1936the book said she had satin brown skin, same as another guy who's very dark and obviously black, how did people miss that, the yhara video explains more
This video makes me want to live to be old out of spite. It is a cruel thing that the world loves the corpses of women just because they will never see them rot. The ideal of wanting to die beautiful and young is so clearly the pushing of the patriarchy, and I want to grow old as a protest. The best an individual can do if their death is to be objectified is to try and live forever. I want to grow old and gray after watching this just so that in death I will never be “gone too soon, too pure”. Girlhood is fighting a stereotype until you die or it consumes you.
I was feeling the same during the video
That's the spirit! 🤘🏻That was my takeaway from this video as well. Not to mention how essential older women are in our lives. My grandma shielded me from my abusive mom who might've ended up killing me in her fits of rage otherwise. They're such wells of wisdom and knowledge. They help you bring up the next generation of kids if you choose it (my cousin is very family oriented, has 4 kids, and if it wasn't for her mom and pa, who are now in their 70's, she could never manage it without them). Old women rock!!! And this obsession (in pop-culture) with youth and beauty is so superficial and stupid. Yes, the (((media))) might not see an old woman's passing as worth aestheticizing and mourning. Honestly who cares? I don't consume that much pop-culture so I couldn't care less. It's about the life you lived and lives of people you touched along the way 🤍
@@Li_Tobler exactly!! It’s truly amazing how much older women are so essential for our lives yet have constantly been frowned upon! Glad that your Grandma was there for you, my Nana is amazing. She’s honestly the reason for so many of my actions
"I want to grow old as a protest" I'll put that on a T-shirt! 🤸🤗
"There is an aestheticization of suffering." Wow, the truth of that statement hit me hard. Though I cannot say that I personally have gone through what you, and many other (both fictional and actual) women do, I do recognize my witnessing of such a phenomenon both on film and in literature.
And realizing that I have is disconcerting.
Male firefighters DID WHAT
My exact reaction when I initially heard about that
That grossed me out
I JUST GOT TO THAT PART 💀💀
Wow I just got to that part, after seeing this comment and thinking “oh no, what’d they do?!”…couldn’t have imagined this, and my imagination is pretty full of darkness. 🙃 why, oh why.
It reminds me of the heroine chic fad of the 1990s. It made me really messed up
The first time I tried to end my own life, I was also 13. I still vividly remember the intense pain of becoming and existing as a teenage girl in the world. The realization that your body is almost communal property of society to be talked about, touched, harassed or worse combined with the tumultuous emotions that come with adolescence was too much to bear. You said it perfectly- our pain is a spectacle to be consumed. A butterfly pinned to a wall.
Of course I deeply related to the writings of Sylvia Plath, “The Virgin Suicides” and other writing that explored these feelings. I feel like there is always a sense of melancholy that has always been pervasive from girlhood on. Later I rebelled against anything I perceived as feminine or “weak”. I thought the only way to be strong and survive in this world was to strip any trace of classic femininity. Now as an adult, I have been able to embrace those sides of myself that I tried so hard to suppress.
As always, your work has blown me away and given me a lot to think about.
The idea of dying before reaching the expiration date of being “old” reminded me of my favorite psychological thriller book. The Butterfly Garden by Dot Hutchison. It’s told from the perspective of a survivor and of a mass kidnapper know to them as the “Gardener” who kidnaps young girls and tattoos grotesque yet beautiful butterfly wings on their backs. The girls are killed on their 21st birthday. Not freed even in death they are encased in resin to forever be admired as a beautiful butterfly. It’s my favorite book because I have always saw my own beauty as fleeting as one day my beauty will no longer hold power.
I was raised with the original European fairytale was happily surprised when I saw happier endings of Disney Princess films
My grandpa's brother's first wife had died in a tragic gas leak accident and when I asked what she like to my parents and my mother said that she was beautiful. Like "Is beauty all there is to woman? No pursuits, no hobbies, no likes, no dislikes, nothing that makes her differ from others, nothing but beauty? Not even HER NAME? Her identity?" That's what I thought when she said it. And then they went on about how grandpa's brother was grieving but according to a tradition the widow man had to marry again within a year otherwise he wouldn't be able to marry for another 3 years. He did marry again. Which I'm sure was hard for him but what about the woman that died? Y'all don't even remember her. Only thing she is remembered by is her death.
I don't understand this world sometimes. I hope I don't die early. I hope I die old with wrinkled skin and thinned hair. And maybe then I will be left alone but still there is a chance of something happening despite it. So idk I guess.
Do you think this is one of the reasons people get so upset over Rues death in the Hunger Games?
That she a young black girl gets a death of flowers
Ur in for a treat once u hit the 20 minute mark of the video lol
I got there
I was a twelve-year-old black girl when The Hunger Games came out, and I always had and continue to contemplate my own untimely death far too often since I was nearly lost at birth. I watched the movie before I read the book, so I didn't know what was coming, and when Rue was dying I was sobbing and clinging to my mom (who also had tears in her eyes) because it felt like watching myself die. My idea of my own death was always the romanticized "death of the Madonna", even now that I've made it to twenty-four, because I always felt like a helpless innocent, still the three-pound baby in the NICU (and by dying young would be frozen in that state forever). At twelve I didn't understand the racial element of any of this, so not only was I bewildered that people hadn't known that Rue was black (I had been nicknamed Rue by a classmate before the movie even came out when I had no clue who Rue was, showing that the children that the book was written for knew what she was supposed to look like and hadn't been taught yet that it should matter), I was and still am deeply hurt that so many people essentially told me that my death wouldn't have been as sad as the death of a white girl.
This just reminds me of a "lesson" my mom taught me when i was younger where she told me that some women are beautiful and tragic when they cry and some women aren't, and that I was the kind who got red and puffy so I should make sure not to cry in front of anyone
I'm so sorry your mother said this, that is so absurd. Being sad and expressing that does not have to look appealing to anyone wtf
@@fiodoor her mother said that because she was "taught" that as well. Its very sad this "lesson" still lives on, just shows us nothing changed.
that is true, I will do my best to break this cycle once I have children@@vitaminka012
@@fiodoor Reminds me of the "cry pretty, Jessica!" comment that made Jessica Alba leave Hollywood.
this hit super hard. as a 25 year old i often find myself wishing i had went ahead and offed myself before i turned into an adult woman, as if my life wouldve been prettier and more poetic that way. being an aging woman, at truly any age over 17, is like being a flower wilting. that is, when we even have the privilege to become that wilting flower and dont get plucked before our time.
As a 17 year old, I often fear that fate. I realise that at the moment my unwellbeing and attempts are "tragic", because I am so "young, beautiful and full of potential" , but in a couple of years my suffering will be "pathetic" and "weak (in a non-sexy way)". Women have until their 20s to become happy and sucessfull, after that they are not allowed to suffer without being considerd a pathetic nutjob.
What I did to not be so miserable abt this is switch my perspective. I'm now 26 and I'm not "wilting", I'm yet a rosebud that's only about 1/3 open. And there is still plenty of time for me to reach my full potential and beauty - what's most admired in society - a fully opened and bloomed gorgeous rose 🌹
Wait till you're 40 and/or technically (realistically) old enough to be a grandmother.
When you said that people always assume girls only „act“ depressed to get attention, I immediately remembered a diary entry of mine , saying that a classmate of mine is seeking attention (with being open abt her depr*ssion and making „jokes“ abt it) and that I’m glad I‘m not „this type of person“ bc I thought it was embarrassing. It’s astonishing to realize ,time and time again, how women are ridiculed by everything they do and raved against eachother .Women really can’t win, we are always the butt of the joke .
rue wasn't completely accurately cast, she was hinted at being darkskin in the book but they got a lightskin/mixed raced actress to play her. Although she was still played by a black person (thank god) it still frustrated many people because darkskin characters are almost always changed to lightskin in their movie adaptations which opens the discussion for colourism. but thank you for mentioning her!!! love your videos
Yes you’re so correct! Yhara Zayd dives more into that in her essay that I inserted the clips from! 💕
I spend a lot of time in cemeteries and I particularly love the angel statues but I have been realizing how they are women frozen eternally with only the reason to be looked at.
Lol it is well know angels are sexless/genderless.
If those statues are women as you say, they are no angels
*"For it's tragic to be so young and yet so sad. Though as I age I question when this tragedy will metamorphosize into something merely pathetic."* Oh, this part hurts.
Same here.
"How long will it be cute? All this crying in my room. Whеn you can't blame it on my youth and roll your eyes with affеction?" (Taylor Swift "Nothing New").
literally what I thought of when the part with depression as a teenager came up
A similar concept to this and your final points- in the comic world, author Gail Simone has coined the term "women in refrigerators"". From TV Tropes: Women in Refrigerators is a site by comic book writer Gail Simone, created in March 1999, to list super-heroines who have been "either de-powered, raped, or cut up and stuck in the refrigerator" in an effort to illustrate that female superheroes are disproportionately likely to be brutalized in comic books, usually to further the character arc of male super heroes.
Invisible for instance, was treated as a woman and people say he suffered too much, but if he was actually a woman people would say it's good writing.
Oh this is so interesting thank you for the reference!!
@@MMU_U Because we see it as women's natural purpose to suffer.
this reminds me of the book “Lucíola” by José de Alencar which is about a man who falls in love with a prostitute, in the end she dies while having their baby, so the only way a prostitute can be pure is by dieing and leaving the dirty body behind, only having a good soul
Obsession with aesthetics in place of substance can only make you miserable. Aesthetics only matter in the moment of consumption, never before or after
It really shows people, in this case women, are considered one use items like a soda bottle to be discarded.
When I was 27 I got really depressed and it was such a surprise to me, because I thought only teenagers were sad and s*icidal, because that is what the movies and books portray. I really thought I was too old to be miserable...
wow, I don’t think I’ve ever realized that my thoughts when I was young was influenced a lot by this thinking. I definitely knew the “always wear cute underwear” even “always wear cute pajamas” incase something happens in your sleep. I also had someone once tell me to take pictures while you’re young and beautiful. Maybe my fear of aging has a lot more to it than I thought. And I hope this doesn’t come across as shallow. I think we think this way because we want to be valued. And society says we are valued by being young and beautiful. I mourn my own aging process. And I wish I didn’t care.
I wish I had been beautiful when I was young but sadly I wasn't now I just resent anyone who can freely admit they were cute when they were younger
I got raised off it "because girls can never look bad even when sick and injured".
I was also raised that 30 was the end of life for women and that's been my main struggle even at 39 now, it's not even a fear of aging as much as it's over, life is over and I'm just waiting to die and even when young no-one wanted me.
well, i never really commented on anything but i felt very compelled to say something. Not even a week ago, one of my best friends killed her self.
I’ve been dreaming of death, of suicide sense i was 13. But now, currently 15, seeing this brilliant little girl dead. I don’t dream about at all. Thinking about it, her image of life was preserved. The coffin was sewed shut, that was because her face was deformed from the fall from a building. She didn’t even do the first text of the semester, she was painting my hair purple with markers and discussing how handsome our celebrity crush is.
Everyone has been romanticizing it to hell and back. Dissecting as if it is the gossip of the week. I really don’t know what to say.
Don’t die young. Do things with your life. Woman’s brains matter and she was so smart, she was amazing. We were against futility’s until she was no longer able to experience it. Than who she left in ruins had to piece her life as futile narrative too.
I'm sorry you have to go through this and I hope she's at a better place, where she can finally find some peace. For you, all my best wishes too.
this probably isn’t what you need to hear right now but God loves you and your friend is watching over you 💕
I’m sorry you lost your friend. I’m sorry you had to experience this at such a young age. I’m proud of you for this extraordinary eloquent comment.
Please write, you have things so share with the world❤
@@user-gf2mg3vn7t Please stop inserting false hope where real hope is yet to be discovered. It's inhibiting of the grieving *process*.
('False hope' because the claim can never be proven/has yet to have been proven.)
When I had my attempt at the age of 13 I wore my favourite white long dress, done my hair, and cleaned my room so I'd forever be remembered as a pure sweet soul that left the world too soon.....im almost 20 years old today and I still to this day don't understand how could society turn a child into thinking things like this from such a young age
I literally do not understand how anyone was shocked that Rue was black when she's literally described that way in the book?
Like are y'all just stupid?
Not stupid, willingly blind and ignorant
"To be beautiful is to be almost dead, isn’t it? The lassitude of the perfect woman, the languid ease, the obeisance, spirit-drained, anemic, pale as ivory and weak as a kitten. There is a press trade for photographs of dead women, did you know that? In certain quarters, the corpses are improved with cosmetics and posed in postures of abject surrender, and photographed. The men circulate the pictures and pleasure themselves. Hmm, such exquisiteness."
Vanessa Ives to Sir Malcolm Murray in Penny Dreadful 1.07
Thanks, tumble. Penny Dreadful had these moments of genius. And these are the words of the devil speaking through Vanessa. Good job, writers.
This is the movie that make me fall in love with Sofia Coppola artistic visual poit of view. The way she shows lonelines in girlhood,pressure over womanhood. She has beatiful,fragil and smart way of story telling,thats not fo everyone but it is for the girls. I hope you ll make a video about " Pricilla" the biopic movie about Pricilla Presley written and directed by Sofia Coppola.
How is it “for the girls”. Lol I think it’s only for you white women.
MISS MA'AM FINAL GIRL STUDIOS SWEEP!! As a mixed indigenous/native two spirit person, thank you so much for the mention and shoutout, it means so much to me 🥺💕✨ - this is something I think can also apply to trans folx, femmes and enben too !! As another example from an anime example there's Misa Amane from Death Note.
I'm gonna be talking about smth triggering beneath the cut so cw for nonexplicit mmiwg2s/mmip related topics and my own personal experience.
Long story short I was almost killed by my main abuser who was a white man when I was 14. I genuinely believed he was going to kill me. The memory came back last year and it fucked me up to say the least. I was also called squaw by a white man several times. I watched Rhymes for Young Girls last year and it hit painfully close to home. I guess the dead girl girl trope I held onto in the hope that maybe if g-d forbid something happened to me maybe I could be found and my indigeneity not be erased. Thank you so much for talking about this, and about Black girls and women, too, and not to mention Katniss and Prim as well as Gale and Haymitch are HEAVILY Native coded in the books and the movie just whitewashed them. Again thank you for all this!!
she watches Final Girl Studios>>>>>>
i heard the "dead girls cant say no" joke so many times growing up before i understood what it meant, and it was still years later before i understood it was something to be disgusted and outraged over. it was more than just a shock necro joke, to me. it was the understood preference for a girl thats beautiful and young and frozen and silent, who never lives enough life to be "ruined" by experience and freedom. never allowed to grow into a person, just encased as the idea of a girl. the beautiful dead girl will never disappoint you, disobey you, express opinions, wants, fears, or desires, she will never be a human. and i think, why not just be infatuated with actual dolls then? why not admire a non-human replica of a girl if it seems thats what you're after. but i think there's a further element to it, subconsciously- i think the state of the dead teenage girl is desirable to people because she had all the potential to be human, to live a long life, to develop into her own person, and was denied that. if theres one thing men seem to love, its when a girl has her wings clipped.
I don't understand the wife who went along with her dead husband being buried upside down over Marlin Monroe's coffin.
As in even in death she wasn't respected the way she should have been from the very beginning.
She didn't want to be haunted for the rest of her life, ig.
As a woman in my thirties I wish that I could say it gets easier, but it doesn’t. Excellent video essay.
As a woman in her 40s, I can say it does get worse, though. - And that's why many middle-age women stop caring (which is seen as obscene, of course, as we should always be pursuing youth).
Wow, this video really hit me at the right time. I've been in a helluva depression spiral to the point of almost canceling my therapy appointments in a "what's the point" attitude. My earliest recollection of suicidal ideation was whe I was at least 7 or 8 years old. I saw myself like a Snow White, curled up in a ball as a camera slowly zoomed out from my beautiful forever frozen frame and credits would roll. I figured the credits would include the names of every person I'd ever known or who knew me. I hadn't even started puberty yet. Or experienced the traumatic events that would eventually fill the bulk of my therapy sessions.
But, maybe it is nice to have felt like I was worthy of a beautiful death as sick as that sounds. I didn't understand the complexities of systemic racism and seen how black women in particular are treated in death. I still listen to my sad girl music, and have the suicide hotline number saved to my phone, but I'm not in that place anymore. I frankly can't afford to be.
I don't know if anyone will even read this, but I take a lot of comfort out of entertainment like The Perks of Being A Wallflower and more recently the musical Hadestown. The 2nd to last song of Hadestown in particular. It is a classic tale I grew up with as a Greek mythology fan. It is a love story where the young woman dies always to be beautiful, never again to see the sun, but there is catharsis in embracing the feeling of being alive and having hope even if you know you will feel crushed again. I've been fortunate to see the show itself on stage twice and each time you can hear and feel the entire audience be absolutely crushed at the ending. If possible I highly recommend going yourself for the experience. The song after "The Road to Hell (Reprise)" isn't long and really just restarts the story, but that's the point. I think that is what hope is. To accept the grief and start again like things might turn out alright knowing they probably won't, I'm okay with that now. I don't mind that this is what being alive is like.
"'Cause here’s the thing
To know how it ends
And still begin to sing it again
As if it might turn out this time
I learned that from a friend of mine"
When you started talking about women becoming stuck in time as innocent girls when they die, I thought of Jennifer’s Body. I think that’s why that movie is so powerful, she dies because a group of boys assume she’s a virgin, they kill her as a sacrifice. But instead she becomes something so much more powerful and sinister, since she was never innocent at all. The movie is a message of Jennifer, a women who is often projected on to by her peers based on her appearance, Jennifer’s taking over her own autonomy and using her appearance as a weapon, for her own vendetta. Could not recommend Jennifer’s Body more, a great movie. ❤️
The icon for my generation was probably Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks. What's interesting reflecting on it while watching this - and I'm not trying to suggest that the authors were interrogating the trope as much as exploiting it at the time - she is both the perfect blonde girl in the glass coffin (wrapped in clear plastic) who was a madonna angel to sick shut-ins _and_ a literal sex worker.
Excellent essay.
i think that the line between exploration and exploitation should be more analyzed... all these examples we see, even the ones that clearly have something to say about the sheer erotization and idealization of dead women and girls, are aesthetized. perhaps its just because movies are meant to look pretty and pretty actors get eyes on the screen. but still, sometimes i wonder if we might ever see something like the tragedy in the death or martyrization of a normal looking girl, someone i can see and think of my own childhood or my own friends
I also remember women coming forward, saying how she and the published diary helped them with their histories of being SA survivors.
Great video, but I do wish you brought up Evelyn McHale. She was dubbed "the most beautiful su*cide" after jumping off of the Empire State Building in 1947 and landing draped across a car. A photography student rushed over to her and took a picture of her body before even alerting emergency services. Her likeness has been used by artists over and over again, and it's just devastating to me that her lasting legacy is of her corpse and the focus on her perceived beauty instead of what compelled her to jump.
Also in the case of this Jane Doe: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27Inconnue_de_la_Seine
I always imagined myself dead, looking from an outsider's gaze. I couldn't even imagine myself living past 17. This video is extremely well done and I always get shivers by the end of each of your essays.
Your mention of “she’s just doing it for attention” kinda hit hard. Im a teenage girl and every time I’ve been depressed or suicidal that’s all anyone has to say. Good to know its just misogyny 👍
It definitely is, please seek help and try not to let everyone’s crap and insecurities burden you.
It's not something that only plagues young girls and young women. It continues throughout your entire life as a female. The struggle is real and constant. It never ends, not even with age.
I don’t understand how people thought Rue was white mostly because she reminds of Katniss of Prim. I think people forgot that Rue and Prim were similar in Katniss’s eyes due to their (in my opinion) similar personalities
I loved this video and truly hope you’re doing better now as someone with a story similar to yours. Just to add onto some of your points, two other celebrities that were affected by this in many ways were Selena and Aaliyah. Whether it’s photos of Selena’s body in the morgue AND coffin or the Aaliyah still being sexualized by certain rappers from her generation and newer generation. Their deaths pushed them into being the main faces of the ‘Dying Young’ culture in the entertainment industry. They’re stuck being sexualized by weird fans, stuck being viewed as products that can still be marketed by their teams, and stuck being forever young.
Another fact that people often gloss over is the fact that both of them started off in the industry very young, to the point they should be considered to be teen stars, but aren’t since they didn’t look a certain way (iykyk). It’s almost like an iceberg that goes deeper when you explore how their deaths not only affected their legacies, but also the legacies of their families, friends, and even other people in the industry who are still alive.
Everything you said about depression and suicide hits hard. It feels like you were inside my head
The Virgin Suicides is such an underrated work 🙌🏻 it’s both an example of and satire for the tragic beauty of the teenage girl. And the author/director were completely aware of the archetype they were commenting on.
Edit: You are what James Somerton should have been:) someone who does amazing research and brings it all together to share with the audience your insights on that topic. Except, you actually have your own opinions and provide sensitive interpretation that provides further understanding. You’re amazing and I’m always so happy to be a subscriber ❤
Wow…this video essay brought so much to my awareness and new perspectives I haven’t yet explored. It is so extremely saddening that even in death, men continually sexualize women.
Even just from my own experiences, it has appalled me that some men/boys have sexualized me in states of suffering. I can’t even imagine having so many eyes on me as some icons and stars do.
The collective ideologies of women are extremely dehumanizing. This, I believe, is why true love is lost in this world. It exists, but is lost. Ancient civilizations and religions used to worship women, the goddess…..
The world loves a dead woman.
My goodness…such a grief
The timing of your sharing of this video is quite divine…I recently was a panelist for a talkback after a screening of “The Virgin Suicides.” I also just saw “Ciao! Manhattan” in Manhattan, and it was quite a surreal experience.
Thank you for another amazing essay🙏
wow did not expect you to share such a sensitive aspect of your own life. i appreciate the honesty and hope you're doing well now.
I think a song that perfectly encapsulates this idea is Dead Girls by Penelope Scott
I just went down a rabbit hole about anatomical Venuses, how dissected anatomical models used by medical students were almost exclusively beautiful, supine women. Even when it's supposed to be a detached, medical model we have to be pristine and nice to look out, even when out intestines are exposed. When may we rest?
I'm currently taking a class on Edgar Allan Poe and I think his poem Annabel Lee is a classic example of this trope.
This reminds me of the Nibelungen story. The strong and independent queen of Island, Brunhild, wanted to marry a man worthy of her. The main lead, Siegfried, succeeded in winning against her in a competition, thus Brunhild agreed to marry him. This man, however, declined the offer for he was in love with the delicate Kriemhild. In order to earn her brother’s, the king’s, approval, Siegfried convinced him he could turn the queen of Island into his wife. Clothed in an invisible coat, he helped Gunther defeat Brunhild, which the king later married the same day as Siegfried and Kriemhild’s wedding. On her first night, Brunhild, however, discovered the truth and, filled with rage, sadness and fear, she beat Gunther in order to sleep alone. This weakling of a man begged the very strong Siegfried for help. Now here comes the worst part. He rushed into her bedroom, locked the door, took “her ring and her belt”, which held her clothes together, and r*ped her. Afterwards, he returned to his lovely Kriemhild and made love to her. Later into the story, Siegfried died a heroic death, Brunhild gave birth to a son that looked awfully like him and Kriemhild avenged his “wrongful” death. At the end of the story, everybody, and I do mean everybody, died terribly because of the revenge, only Brunhild remained with her child. Sadly, that boy did not grow up to be loved, for Brunhild couldn’t even be called human since her arrival in Burgundy. She suffered. She, the true version of a woman, suffered for her strength, intelligence and independence, whilst the naive, diffident , innocent , but extremely beautiful Kriemhild was held in high regards. This story of Brunhild truly shattered my heart.
Your work id amazing!! It's so beautifully written and it resonates with me like crazy. I was in abusive relationship for 3 years where I was so clearly reduced to just an object of his affection. So much so that when he no longer cared for me, he would hit me & treat me as if I was a used tissue. It's now been 3 years after that relationship and every man that I have met has sexually assaulted me despite me telling them about what I went through. But even though, they are the effed up ones. I am forced to sit here and look at how I dress (although I only wear baggy clothes), how I talk (scared to make any suggestive comments) or why I'm attracted to such men in the first place (although they lie about how much they care , their intentions e.t.c.) It's a "woe is me" type of feeling because I know that it happens because Im attractive. But it hurts because no one understands how dehumanizing it is to always be reduced to an object. When I do have feelings, a personality, my own set of traumas and a desire to love and be loved.
im a man approaching thirty, and i generally have a fairly consistent youtube recommended, but today this video made its way in between others about video games, camping, guns, and military history (im not kidding, im a a walking stereotype).
first, i want to say that this vid is excellent, well made with a fantastic art direction and technical quality. the content is very eye opening. it's 2024, i have basic emotional intelligence and media literacy, i "know" about how screwed up and deep seated patriarchy is, but this has definitely made me reevaluate how much i actually understand that, how deep does the damage go. do i love beautiful dead girls? did a fucked system put that in my head and i just accepted it as good?
second, this vid is a couple months old at the time of this comment, so you must have done something recently to trigger the algorithm big time for a two month old video to get sent to a potential new audience member so "unreceptive" from the algorithm's view point.
This might be my favorite video on RUclips. I don't think I've ever seen someone analyze the popular obsession engrained in us since birth with youthful death like you have, and the fear of aging as a mentally ill woman because soon, your suffering isn't beautiful, it's just sad. This is amazing, truly.
I am a half Native American half Celtic Scottisch young woman living in the UK. It's baffling how different our experiences are from the ones of women in the USA and Canada... But I do enjoy your videos tremendously as I am interested in other women's perspective and experiences.
This is the best video essay on womanhood I have ever encountered.
Thank you for this lovely video.
I’m also fascinated by the romanticisation of madness (mental illness) in women. From Orphelia, to the lady of Shalott to Black Swan, and the virgin suicides. Mental illness is never romanticised in men. I suspect that there is something about preserving helplessness and a lack of practical thinking in women.
I’m quite sure that the Nina Sayers character in Black Swan is somewhere between 21 and 23. Not a teenage girl. But there is also often a desire to preserve the young woman, rather than the child. In a way, and in modern society, women would rather be preserved in the early 20s than teens. Acne and mood swings is not really something many of us want to relive or retain
"everything in girlhood is always about attention always about the performance "
So glad you have a sponsor so you can make videos like this! Suicide is silenced so much when it needs to be talked about, and not just in the "teenage suicide don't do it" way, in the whole picture of the many things death can mean in art - sacrifice or, ironically, silencing? It's different than in real life. I'm sorry you had to go through that, esp so young. Thank you for talking about it in such a personal and also beautiful way.
the way my teenage self wrote plenty of poems about death....
The amount of books you've introduced me to is growing! Just finished Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers, now onto Trick Mirror. Any way we could get a Final Girl Book Club?
My teen journals are full of things like "Live fast, die pretty" and I very nearly succeeded at dying, or at least self destructing. I really love your pieces, so thoughtful and genuine.
DAY 2 OF ASKING YOU TO REVIEW BELLADONNA OF SADNESS. As a young girl myself, I love your videos. I love everything about them, I'm not trying to be poetic or different or a sad girl, I just want to listen, understand, and feel. It's the hardest thing to be a teen girl, especially when you're black. Dark-skinned. Thank you for your video ❤
the ways this world devalues the lives of and rewrites the deaths of women to suit their needs will always be one of its greatest crimes
Your teenage diary is so eloquently written! Thank you for sharing such a deep part of yourself with us
Every one of your videos is amazingly well written - well done yet again. Thank you for sharing this.
I loved your essay! You're so talented in the way you are able to talk about such complex issues in an entertaining yet thoughtful manner. I just finished watching Sharp Objects and your essay is such a great complement to that series since it delved into how a small town is so fixated on remembering the murders of two young girls as sad due to their "perfect and sweet nature"...when in reality the girls were imperfect just like anyone else. In that way, it seems like the town upholds old notions of the girls needing to have an ingenue death.
I have to say that since I found your channel I've been watching all your videos with wonder since you are the first one that I ever been in contact with to talk about such things. I have to thank you so much because you've opened my world and made me realize things about myself I didn't even know of. I've been looking at the world around me and at the things that happens to me very differently. I know it's short, I would like to say so much more, but this is a very deeply thank you.
ive never able to put these thoughts into words. i feel such intense relief and sadness 😰
i love how you talked about WOC and how this effects them differently. great vid ❤
loved this piece 👏🏼 you're truly inspirational ♡ love from 🇦🇷
Amazing, amazing video, devastating but beautifully done, thank you so much for making it.
This essay to seriously on of the best I’ve ever ever seen thank you!!!! Teenage and present me feel so seen 🥺💕
dang this channel just gets better and better.
amazing work on this one!
this radicalized me. I'm not even kidding. you are so freaking talented. subscribed.
Beautifully explored. Thank you for bringing this to light.
This was a phenomenal, albeit heartbreaking video. Thank you ❤
when you talked about the firefighters, it made me silently wail and scream. i can’t believe we live in such a fucked world. your videos may be about things that aren’t so fun but they are bringing the light we need on these subjects. with all my being, thank you for making the videos you do.♥️
Thank you for making this content. It can’t have been easy researching the statistics and stories while writing for this ❤
I am currently binge watching your videos and there’s something so healing about them. The past few days I was constantly thinking about validation that I thought I needed. Everything you say just makes so much sense and makes me feel comfortable with myself and more empowered (if that makes sense). Thank you so much
12:54 "How long will this be cute? All this crying in my room? When you can't blame it on my youth and roll your eyes with affection..." - the Phoebe Bridgers bit from the song Nothing New. I'm going to be 27 this year and, uh, ouch.
Another banger from the Final Girl!
Amazing essay!
As an eighteen year old girl, let me just say, I am not in my mfing prime. I do genuinely love myself for who and what I am at this time in my life, and I’m not even especially insecure, but I am absolutely certain that with age I will become both physically and mentally more comfortable in myself and more attractive to anyone decent. To anyone else my age or even younger (or quite a bit older!!) you are beautiful and worthy, but you should not have to feel the pressure of being at your peak. It’s gonna get better girls. Don’t let the world tell you that it’s downhill from here.
beautifully made video, thank you!
This video was so utterly heartbreaking. It made me realise the extent of a racist and mysogynistic society and how far into our psyche it reaches. It is disgustingly normalised and not talked about at all, and you have put it into words so eloquently. The section about indigenous girls and black girls hit so deep, as I am a brown girl who has felt her whole life that I am not 'dainty' enough or, as you put it, 'madonna' enough to have the privilege of having more feminine hobbies, often being met with surprise and shock when I tell people I play the piano and sing. I have never felt beautiful enough because my features are big. Not to say that I'm ugly but I never felt *enough* compared to other girls. Being brown, I also feel that people only liked me for my body, rather than face. I've grew up in a pretty international setting, but this still affected me. Most of my friends were East Asian and therefore fit that 'thin' and 'dainty' requirement, and also into the fetishization of east asians. A phenomena created by white colonizers that still affects people to this day (maybe now more than ever). Would you please consider making a video about this and how it affects those in asia, particularly south asians, who are seen in a bad light as compared to other more 'desirable' races in asia. In fact, 'asian' as a term only ever refers to east asian and, in my experience, if you correct people, you are seen as being annoying and 'desperate for attention'. It would mean a lot. If not, that's okay too. Really amazing video, instantly subbed. Thank you for making this.
These videos have my full attention when they are on. These are wonderful video essays. Beautiful work.
Great work, beautifully written 😊