Nice, Nick. May I also add: Treat their mother the way you hope their husbands will one day treat them. Kids notice more than you think they do. Girls will see what a loving relationship looks like so they know what to look for in their own partners and the boys will learn how to treat their future wives.
I'm so glad you mentioned boys need that kind of model, too, as the mother of a teenage son. I heard our pastor once tell us that the best gift you can give your kids is setting an example of a loving relationship and knowing that their parents really love each other and what that looks like. It gives them a solid foundation to build their own relationships on.
@@sandramartin9106 That’s a good point. My sister’s ex-husband is a (insert any vulgar epithet and it would apply). She lasted nine years with him then finally found the strength to leave. Their three kids struggled for a while when they were young, but all of them got it together and grew into amazing, functional, stable, happy adults. Certainly, their mother’s constant love was a primary force in their lives, but the damage inflicted by their father was also undeniable. I asked her once how her kids were able to overcome how their dad treated her and them. She said, “Sometimes a bad example can be as valuable as a good one.”
What helped me the most with raising my children was the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. It is honestly a game changer
Outstanding. I made my daughter get her black belt before I let her date so no boy could take advantage of her when I wasn't there for her. I also taught her to shoot and get her license to carry. No one ever took advantage of her, and when she finally met someone who could deal with her confidence and power, they married, and next week is their 11th anniversary. I couldn't be prouder of my daughter.
Yes, but please get the belt in BJJ and not karate🤣. The slogan on our MMA, Jim in huge letters on the wall, on the bus, on promotional materials, “karate will get you killed.“ Even KM is awesome for girls of any age or physical abilities. Get your girls in classes!
"Tell your daughter that you love her!... because if you don't, someone that doesn't will and she'll believe him" Maybe (one of) the most profound advice to a new father I've ever heard. And as someone who was never told by my father I was loved, I can testify to the validity of that advice.
@@TheMagpie4Real No. I think it's good. Personally my emphasis would have been on 'unconditional love', which he brought later. But I just couldn't help stumbling on the ever so tiny dichotomy of getting good advice - recognizing it as such - and the intense desire to punch the guy in the face.
@@wolfgangreichl3361 I did understand you correctly then 😊 I just didn't want to presume. English is my third language, so I have to take into account that I can miss something subtle when I can't see the face of the person "saying it". I agree with you. I couldn't help smiling when Nick said he wanted to hit the guy that just gave him that insightful advice. And at the same time it was a little heartbreaking. I fully understand his inclination for wanting to hit him. He just admitted, that he is fully aware that he is taking advantage of girls who has been emotionally neglected and doesn't know how to defend themselves against further abuse. That he is telling the truth and that his advice is solid is just making him that much more of a bastard for doing what he is doing when he clearly understands the "weakness" he is exploiting.
I'm still currently at the hospital as my wife just delivered our second daughter. If this video isnt a God send, I'm not sure what is. Thank you very much for this, from one father of girls, to another.
@@Nickjfreitas Happy Father's Day These songs because Fathers are Outstanding. Daddy's Hands Because You Loved Me (your children) Grown Men Don't Cry Good Job (one voice childrens choir)
@@NickjfreitasI raised a daughter and understand I married someone's daughter. My daughters husbands must have never had a mother. In other words they had bad fathers.
Good job as a dad but the last issue on protecting herself I would suggest first, instead of a gun, that she take self defence. My father shot himself and attempt to hurt the family so I hate guns. I also believe knowing the word of God and the power of the Holy spirit can operate, as the word says, better than a double edged sword. I heard a story of a girl who was being chased by 2 men in a park, here in Canada, and the Holy spirit asked her why she was running. So she stopped and pointed her finger at them and said, "In the name of Jesus, I command you to stop" the 2 men dropped dead on the spot. In the court case the judge asked her to explain what happened but stopped her when she came to that part, I think he was afraid of my happen if she continued. I have heard other stories like it and when I feel overwhelmed by the enemy I have done it and felt oppression leave and burdens lift and when I couldn't get the dog to let go of a baby rabbit he found in the yard, I tried it and he dropped it. Others have called on God in an attack and gang members ran when they said they saw large shiny men standing by the people they were about to attack. I also pray for a ring of fiery protection around my loved ones and myself and know he has protected me from many dangers and kept my granddaughter from being kidnapped and now she wants to be a lawyer to put the bad guys away! Sorry if this is long but I felt a need to share my heart and I enjoy your shorts as they give me a laugh so I wanted to bless you in return.
@lilianw.4358 My father was wonderful, but he overprotected me. He taught obliviousness instead of awareness, and I got taken advantage of because of my ignorance. Now I look back on every date he chaperoned when I was a teenager and am grateful, but I wish he would have taught me awareness before I went to college. Also, a daughter won't believe that her father loves her unless he says it with all of the love languages.
@@aprilmcgeown2253 No offense but anyone that thinks someone pointed at two people, invoked *Jesus*, and they dropped dead is uh.. not trying that hard to think, I'm guessing. People of all beliefs all around the world including christians are horribly murdered while praying to their god every single day. God will not save your children. Do your job and teach them how to save themselves.
I met this girl once who had a life very similar to mine. She slept with a lot of guys and said that it was because she didn't grow up close to her dad. For years I wondered what differentiated me from her as I never had the urge to sleep around despite having a similar relationship with my own dad. One day, I understood that the difference was that despite all the issues I had with my dad, I always knew that he loved me and was proud of me no matter what.
My father abandoned me as a child. It is very likely that he doesn't even care to this day that I exist. I never slept around. In fact, I am still a virgin. In my case growing up with morals and self-respect had nothing to do with my lack of a father figure, but because I had a dedicated mother would led me by example.
@@KManAbout Really? What disadvantage does virginity cause in one's life? And what value does sleeping around add to one's life? These are serious questions. I look forward to your answers.
I have seen that men begin to value and see women's perspective only when they have daughters. They want the best for their daughters but how much of that 'best' have they given to other people's daughters in capacity of husbands and boyfriends? So how about, 'men be good to other people's daughters too'?
Thank you so much for sharing this. My daughter is 16 and I am scared for her every day. She came home from work and told me there was a guy asking her inappropriate things and one of her coworkers ran him off the job site and told her he has a daughter her age so he will make sure she’s safe when I can’t. I am taking that man out for dinner on Wednesday. There are so many good people in this world we need to look out for each other.
I had a guy at work also offer to protect me from situations when my dad can't. I haven't had any situations happen thankfully but there was a guy that was made my coworker a little suspicious. I definetly appreciated my coworkers offer. He threatened to beat up any guys who gave me trouble, and honestly I believe he would do it. He was in the military and has a pretty hot temper. Lol
@@susansmith493 girls shouldn't say those things either, but at least they don't usually have the capabilities to force things physically like guys do.
@@americandefender1861 Yes, physically, they're far different. But i assure you, girls and women can do massive, deep, long lasting harm from the type of abuse they can do. And fact us, women can also be wildly physically abusive. Work in family law for a few decades. It's not what you've been trained to think.
My pastor had a sermon about the same thing about a father's responsibility in telling their daughter they are loved. My pastor said because if fathers don't tell their daughter they are loved by them some other man will and it will be a lie. I was 31 the first time I heard that and it resonated with me because I never had a dad. As a child and teenager and even as an adult I longed for a father. So I'm married now and my husband tells my daughter and shows my daughter how she is loved by him. I'm so grateful for a loving husband.
My dad had this friend who was a predator towards me, I was 17. To this day I hold a grudge, he always told me he loved me, but when I told him I don’t feel safe around this guy who keeps insisting to take me home with him alone. My dad rubbed it off saying I don’t see things right and then my mom got involved and it took a lot of convincing and evidence of text messages to get him to tell that guy off. It shouldn’t take convincing or evidence if your daughter feels she’s in danger.
And that is the crux! Often times, males do not LISTEN to females. Sounds like your dad may have had nasty thoughts about teen girls or may have done some nasty things himself, thus the hesitation in defending you. Love always protects FIRST.
@deirdremorris9234 not really, her dad could simply have been with narcissistic traits, thus that rubbing off the situation. But good thing that her mother intervened and that she was safe afterwards.
@@sophyamary my dad’s been hiding porn from my mom 10+ years (been caught 3 times) and yes he’s a narcissist, and then he wonders why I have trust issues with him. Not only that but he gaslights and stone walls.
My wife had a garbage relationship with her father. She says I helped her learn how she should be treated. Which is great because she helped me learn how to be a man when my own dad utterly failed to. This is massive. I’ve been able to teach my wife how to love herself when she didn't know how, and how to shoot to protect herself from those monsters your mention. The fact that her dad didn't teach her, his own daughter, lights me up every time I think about it. We are living examples that marriage can be everything God intended when two people are willing to sharpen eachother and be sharpened. And though I'm not expecting kids any time soon, hand to God I feel everything you're saying. Thanks for holding up the standard. It's not without fruit.
If you do have children I can assure they have a good father waiting for them and are blessed cheers never had a father that showed me the ropes although I wished so much but hopefully we all meet that one person that demonstrate that love that we all need ❤much love
That's such a great share and I am so happy that you and your wife figured this out. Unfortunately we are seeing more bad examples and experiencing it's rotten fruits, than good. And us, people who experienced and suffered from those bad examples are to break the cycle, learn how to be a real man or woman, husband and wife and teach our children better. I'm only learning these things. And my partner, who also didn't have a balanced upbringing is learning this too in the age of 50 and he, like you, teaches me, the woman how to value myself better by being incredibly good to me. And I, as woman teach him self control and much more by setting boundaries and keeping to them most of the time. Very important. I hope that one day, when we have children we will be able to teach them similar things he discussed in this video and be a living example of our children what true love and balanced relationships mean both with ourselves and with each other in society
My father was a single father to 4 girls, I’m the oldest of 4. To say it was challenging… is an understatement… there were times that were quite tough on all of us for various reasons. My father was very open with us regarding the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright petrifying… he never held back on anything. He taught us how to fight, how to shoot, and how important it is for my sisters and I to always stick together no matter what. I’m very grateful he is still here to both drive us crazy and love us like crazy all at the same time. I love my father more than anything in the world. My sisters and I are most certainly blessed.
That sounds wonderful to have a father like that, and even from just reading your comment I admire him already, and wished I have a father that's much more than just providing me a comfortable life, though I'm grateful I can live a good upper middle class life but my dad's a deadbeat father, doesn't really teach me things, doenst communicate well, yelling and criticising for small things and because I do things the way I do them and not his way, all the petty butter things he does to ruin my day and mood. Although I don't have a good view of most fathers becuase of him I'm very glad to hear father's like yours exist. I wish I had one like that 😔. But at this point I don't even want that anymore, my perception of parents are far too messed up now, ever since I grew up and got alot smarter. I begin to see them as how they are as individuals, massively flawed personalities, it disappoints me. And I hate to think I'm better than my parents, but there's so many things I'd be able to do so much better at being a parent than them because of all the things I'm aware of their child. They're just so selfish and wants everything to go their way, I'm not going to bend myself into what they want me to be, i think I'm already a very mature, lovely, smart boy, but they just want me to be a certain person and they keep criticising me so pettily. Sorry for the long read, I wouldn't be surprised if you didnt even read 25 percent of this lmao I'm a real talker
@@rns6889You are very valuable. You have immeasurable intrinsic value. You wouldn't give up even one of your eyes for a million dollars. How much more valuable you are than a million dollars.
it is sad that mother wasn;t there, as a child learns diferent things from both mather and a father - but anoyone can teach those things to a child, and even a man can be susptitute for what a mother can teach, it is just that he has to be also a father, provider, cook, cleaner etc - and sometimes single parent dsoesn;t have strenght for all the roles. Mother's love is diferent then fathers, but, what you couldn;t feel growing up (mother's love), you could feel raising your own kid. The fact that your dad raised 4 healthy, happy children is a honoring testiment on it's own - the fact that you say you love him - man. I hope I will get that from my kids when they are your age. You knwo what? Tell your father you love him and hug him, for no reason. You will make his whole week happy :) I know you do it probably all the time, but as father myself, I can tell you it can never be too much :)
@@GabrielleTollerson and you understand that you need to learn, once you get that, you will find people who know and who can teach. you will be ok, remeber to teach yourkids when the time is right. Good luck
I never had a father. It's really nice to know there is a good dad saying all this. I married my husband because he loved children and wanted a family. All the other teenage guys wanted nothing to do with children but wanted everything to do with how to make them. My husband is the best father I have ever known. It's so nice to hear from another good father out there.
I am very glad you found him! Raising young men and women to think of family, can be difficult in a "hook up culture" type of environment. We emphasized to our daughters and our son, that modern dating culture does not set people up for success. That if you are respectful both of your body and theirs and you hold off on the physical, while you ensure a genuine intellectual, emotional and spiritual connection, you are far more likely to have a healthy marriage. Respect for ones spouse, should begin before you ever meet them.
@@Nickjfreitasude nail on the head idk what my parents did but they did right by me because i was 18 before i ever dated my first everything is my wife and shes my last met her at 18 and im on track to outlast my parents mariage 11 years going strong with a 6 going on 7 yr old daughter only person i know with a track record like that besides my granparents
The fact that you never had a father and chose a good husband would disprove everything he's saying, unless you're the exception, And everyone just happens to be highlight this.
My dad was in the navy and intelligence. As I was approaching my teenage years, dad started to teach us the essentials of having a gun, overall security and awareness. Those teachings were put to the test one night and it saved my life. My dad wasn't perfect, but he got me prepared for moments that mattered. He passed away 2019 but I remember him.
People don't often realize that the ones we have to worry about with guns are the ones who were never taught how to handle one by a responsible father.
You are blessed with a father like yours. My father was injured when he was 21 years old. He became paralyzed, but he taught me so much about being independent. He didn’t let me drive my first car 4DOOR DATSUN until I could change a flat tire by myself. ❤I miss him so much. He told me to follow 18 wheelers when I would travel long distances ….❤
My father died when I was a teen. He told me how much he loved me every day. And each day I saw how much he loved and respected my mother. He was fierce when needed but always loving. He's the standard that I used before I said, "I do". All girls need fathers like mine and you. Thank you!
As a father of two daughters 26 and 18, you nailed it. I was gone a lot in the military for 25 years but every day I told them I loved them via voice, email of cassette tape. I made time with them when I was home and I always apologized when they confronted me. They are both smart, feminine, beautiful, capable and they know how to identify the monsters, in all their forms. And I also taught them how to shoot and apply self defense. 😂Great vid man.
This brought me to tears. I had a father who told me he loved me but demonstrated the opposite with his actions. My deepest wound is that he never protected me. May God put more men and fathers in the world like you. I can’t wait to show this video to my loving husband; we’re expecting our first child this year 💕
May the Lord bless you and heal all past hurts and wounds. May your heavenly Father pour His favor over you and your husband and your child and future children to always feel the Love of a Father, especially your heavenly Father🙏
You’re a wonderful Dad. I can feel the love that you have for your daughters and being a good role model to them. God bless you and your family. I wish there will be more Dads like you who take their role very seriously. God loves you!
The best way to heal your personal wounds is to create a safe space and give your wise unconditional love to your children. Wishing you, your husband and your child the best life has to offer.
As a daughter that had a father that was hands off in my life, I wholeheartedly agree with this entire video. I didn't have someone teach me about the monsters of the world, so when the monsters found me, it scarred me for life. I was way too vulnerable to realize that I was in an abusive relationship until it was way too late. Be kind to your daughter, show her real love and make sure her bar is high. Thank you for this honest, heartfelt video 🙌
It's more than you realize. Sometimes the girls turn into monsters, themselves. Not having that influence and involvement can enable some serious problems.
It breaks my heart to read stories like this, I wish I could be there for kids like you, but I would be like the cast lady and have a house full of kids and that's not where God has me.
A middle-age Scandinavian leftie, and fine with that later in life, never the less I wish I'd had a father like you. I fear that even the way you brought up your daughters would have made me a stronger man. Or at least a lot sooner, than I figured it out my self. Great gratitude towards a solid man, though wed probably disagree on many things political.
I had the same struggles in my twenties until I broke free off toxic relationships and eventually met my husband. He embodies everything my das wasn't and funny enough my husband had to learn how to become this man in his own 20s because his dad never was in the picture. Girls and Boys equally need strong, gentle and wise fathers. Society should support men way better in helping them grow to be a leader and protector, not a simp or abuser.
What an incredible example of real deal masculinity channelled exactly as it should be in the family unit. People like Nick are the people who give all of us out here the knowledge and example of the value of good men in society. Don’t EVER let anyone or any organisation distract you from that. Thank you Sir!
About your teenager daughter correcting you, she learned to recognize the wrong you did by learning the life lessons you and your wife taught her. Her courage to come to you to notify your mistake is a sign you two are doing well.
@@catholicfemininity2126 Those parents need to vocally repent/ammend/apologize for their wrong doings to the child they wronged. Saying so in your quiet prayers only heels their souls, never their children'sbroken hearts.
I have a "father" who told me everyday I need to be ashamed of myself and made me ask for permission to eat food. I'd give anything to have a man like Nick in my life. So a huge thank you to all the great fathers out there being a force for good in your family's life.
I think you will make a wonderful parent whenever the time comes because you know what children need. I’m so sorry you were denied of your needs as a child, but I do believe it will make you a very strong, loving, nurturing parent. ❤
Amen. As to the last point, I've been teaching people to shoot for 40 years now. What I hear most often when a woman realizes she can safely pick up a firearm, competently load it, and hit a target, is, "This is *empowering.*"
My dad abandoned me at 12 for my stepmom and her family… I just wanna say I respect you so much for being a present father people like you a diamonds in the rough
I was bullied at school and now as a 40 year old man I told my mum about it, and she asked why I hadn't told them at the time. I said because I knew they wouldn't have done anything anyway. I made it my mission in life for my daughters to always be able to tell me what's eating them up. This was truly inspiring, man. Thank you! BTW I've already had an instance of telling a guy (probably harmless but made my daughter scared) to stay away from her on her bus rides to school - politely but firmly. No worries since then.
Well said, Nick! My father was a abusive weak man!! You are everything I would have loved to have experienced in a father. Thank You for sharing it brought tears to my eyes. Thankfully I was very fortunate to have married a wonderful man that taught me how to love and be loved
As a younger guy who wants a daughter, and a boyfriend to a girl who is not unlike the girls you mentioned at the beginning of the video who’s father was lackluster. I say from the deepest part of my heart. Thank you, I cried after watching this and I have to say I’m very grateful to it. I may forget your words but I will never forget the meaning behind them.
I wish I had this video 18 years ago when my wife and I were expecting our last child and only daughter. It would have made my job much easier. The truth is, I came to the same conclusions in my own trial and error. Today my daughter is looking at becoming an adult in a few weeks, and I am so grateful that I have a terrific relationship with her - specifically because I came to the same conclusions that you teach here. Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to use the powerful platform you have to promote a godly approach to parenting.
As a father of 2 daughters this is an excellent summation of what life has taught me, and I wish I had this resource before I had to learn it all my own. I'll share this with my son, so he can understand what is in store for him not only as an older brother but as a father himself some day. Your words are poignant, accurate, and heartfelt. God Bless you sir and keep fighting your good fight.
You got this. I was where you were 30 years ago and my beautiful "girly-whirlies" are now 30 and soon to be mothers themselves. You just love them unconditionally and do the best you can..side-by-side with their mother...every day. Days seem forever long, but weeks/months/years fly by and very soon they will be able to bath themselves, dress themselves, feed themselves, and of course wipe themselves😅. I wish I could tell you just how wonderful they grew up to be, but I don't have the words to adequately describe it. Hang tough! You will be a pro in no time!
none of us do, trust me. my 3rd child (2nd son) will be here in the next 2 months. I still don't think I know what I am doing but I am doing the best I can and that's all that matters.
Nick, thank you so very much. I've raised three daughters and two sons. These lessons apply to both in different ways. My daughters are successful, bright, well respected women now. Some of those most difficult conversations happened just as you indicated. A few times, they came to me because as they put it, "I knew I could trust you." One is a teacher, one a medical professional, one in the military. My oldest son is raising sons, and he often calls to say he is sorry for how hard he made my job, then he asks for advice with his boys. My youngest is 17 and has the potential to follow in those same steps. Thank God Almighty for the strength and courage to raise those children when their mother left.
As 43 yrs old woman who grew up without a father I’m in tears watching this. Its so heart warming to see there are men out there really wanting to do their best as fathers.
Most men i know are this way, and value their family over everything. I know i would give my life to save my daughters without thought. So there definitely loads of fathers like this sorry you missed out
The men that don't care are either very high in sexual market value (e.g. girls without proper raising will throw themselves at him and get pregnant without a ring or even knowing his real name) or extinct! Think about that!
Same here. It took many years of observation and curiosity to reach the conclusion that many men are good to their children and want the best for them.
The really sad part is that you were surprised. This is actually the default position; it is normal for most guys to feel this way about their children. I hope you had other male role models in your life. I'm sure you turned out great anyway, it's just a lot easier for kids who have good role models.
Growing up without this has definitely caused a lot more pain and unnecessary drama in my life. It really damages little girls not to have this. Sometimes to the point of no return. Girls who have father's like this are extremely blessed.
Couldn’t click this fast-enough. I’m a 59 year old woman. My father was killed when I was three years old. The love of my life, my dear heart, was gone. I had 4 older sisters. Our world fell apart without him. Him. It has been a long road to try to understand why I chose the male mistakes I did. My father wasn’t around long enough to teach me what a truly good man is. So I went through the school of hard knocks. But I just learned recently why I made the mistakes I have with men. I’ve now put the child inside of me to bed. I’m so content, so free, just became a grandmother to a beautiful boy, and blessed to be here--just me and my Jack Russell, Oscar. What a boy! Thank you for your videos, but this one especially. 🙏🏻
Thanks I'm a single dad of a 10 year old daughter and it's tough. I've made so many sacrifices for her without regret but it's tough. My whole concern is preparing her for life because Daddy won't be there forever. You gave some things I need to implement. Thanks
I'm a daughter to a man who was a single father during my early years. One thing I can recommend, looking back, is to find a woman you trust (sister, mom, etc) who can teach her how to protect her heart, in addition to her mind and body. There are many things a girl/woman faces that a man will never understand. Things like how to control your emotions, thoughts and actions in various situations. For a girl, her emotions lead to actions. A man will never understand how strong those emotions can be and how hard it is to not act on those emotions. When she takes action, she is giving herself (time, love, body, etc) to whoever that action was taken towards. If she takes action with the wrong person, she is trusting that person with her mind, heart, and perhaps, body. IF that person emotionally hurts her later on, then her heart can become very damaged, because trust has been broken and she is deeply wounded. This is where she needs a woman with life experience to guide her on that path. If you don't know of anyone who you trust to be her friend in those areas, there's still time. Girls usually start grappling with these emotional changes a year or so before their period but then it gets very strong afterwards.
@@NEBUKADNECCARstupid ass comment, sweetie. He never said his daughter wasn't his duty, he said he makes sacrifices for her, which is accurate, because everyone who fulfills their duty is making sacrifices to do so. Your comment doesn't even make sense on its own terms, since "your men" if you are some kind of leader (we all know you aren't) or your woman are also your duty.
@@GB0915 Grandmothers and aunts are powerful in a girl's life. Every single one of my granddaughters have dodgy mothers. Those little girls know that I am in their corner 24/7. They absolutely love me and the messy but safe space I have for them.
You hit it on the head! I have six kids. Three boys and three girls. Everything you said I tried to live and it shows with them. I’m now old and on my way out, but I know that they all will be ok! I’m proud of them all!
As an Army Chaplain and father of 3 beautiful daughters, I concur with every word you said. I wish more soldiers would hear this message early and often to strengthen their relationships.
4 main things you need to remember about my daughter: 1. She's beautiful 2. Her dad is a grumpy old Marine, so don't even think about messing with her 3. Grumpy old Marine has a big backyard 4. Grumpy old Marine has a shovel and an alibi
I saw the TikTok and cried. I cried so hard, because when I looked at the man that was supposed to be MY dad. It wasn’t who I use to know. I only know a few things about him. He only knows a few things about me. We’re more strangers than family. I mean he does the basics. I know how to cook, I clean, I get good grades, he taught me how to drive. We both like metal and that’s about as far as things we both like goes. I don’t like him, I feel bad for telling people I don’t like him but I don’t. He yells at me, he hurts me. I do the same, I’m covered in cuts from my legs to my arms all of which I’ve made. I think it’s important to be there for your child, when I needed him he refused to help. We’ve never rebuilt that relationship back after that, and the thing to note is. Abusers don’t abuse everyday. However he feels, he decides to make everyone around him feel.
Spot On ! I had all you mentioned with my dad, and although I'm 65 yrs old and he's been gone 25 yrs, I still cherish the love and respect my dad & I had for each other. He wasn't my "friend", he was "daddy". I trusted him. Dad is the first man a lil girl falls in love with and stays in love with all her life. Thank you for the video.
Thanks Nick... I'm the father of six daughters (and four sons!), but I did not have a father-figure growing up. My dad was just simply not very involved and I've struggled with being the best dad I knew how to be. I'm a veteran and that has both helped and hurt (as I'm sure you understand). Thank you for the terrific advice. I believe I have done fair-to-good with my girls, but only mediocre with my boys. I appreciate your encouragement and pray your family will be safe from the monsters.
At a time when I feel my womanhood is being attacked from all sides, and threatened with nullification, your video is life-affirming. It is good to know that people like you exist.
Lol really? Name 1 nation founded by women. Name 1 field of science women created. Name 1 road, highway, or structure constructed by women. Also men invented 96% inventions.
@@jenniferturner9012 yup, i would consider myself a feminist. An adequate one. For example, i believe FGM should be stopped from being practiced because it's just cruel.
I’m a 73-year old woman who has just begun realizing that the fact that I had a completely detached, unloving father negatively impacted my entire life tremendously. I would’ve given anything to have a father like you.
This is heartbreaking to hear after my physically abusive and verbally abusive father. This is what I’ve always wanted. It was an ache that I turned to the wrong guys to fulfill. I’m 37 and I’m still not over it.
Sarah, you need healing. Seek therapy to help. From a woman about your age who went through the same, it's possible to overcome and heal. Till then, you'll keep attracting bad guys bc you haven't dealt with the pain inside. Do it for you and also for the ones around as well. All the best! ❤
Welcome to the club of abusing fathers. It is hard to get over it but with a lot of self love time and theraphy i could overcome it. It took me a long time but I healed. It is the only way, healing is hard but not impossible
@@magnetar28I can't stand people promoting an organisation that has harbored and protected proven pedophiles, FOR DECADES. And that's where you'd suggest people go for emotional healing? Are you crazy?
As a father of 3 girls under 4 - I appreciate everything you have shared. I was raised by a single mother; so, I'm not the best to know what to do - working to figure it out as I go and any support I find helps.
Very well done. Most of this can be applied to fathers of sons, and also to husbands. As a husband of a woman that was raised by a horrible father, you have no idea how bad you can mess little girls up by not being a good and strong father. My wife is still (at 34 years old) figuring out why she has the emotional problems she has. We, as fathers owe our children much better than we are giving them in most cases.
My Dad watched a similar video about this. He said that when my oldest sister was little and whenever she would go spend the night at a friend's house, he would introduce himself to the father; shake his hand firmly; and look him in the eye to let him know that "there will be hell to pay if he did anything". He is also a very a loving father. I remember when the whole "National Rape Day" controversy was going around Tik Tok a few years back and it scared me a lot. My Dad took his time to pick me up from work to make me feel safe. 😊
Thank you. I’m a father of beautiful twin girls. They’re five now, and I’ll admit that sometimes I’m a bit too quick to anger when they do something thoughtless. I’ll admit that I have administered punishments when I probably should’ve been more understanding. It breaks my heart. These are things I already knew, but hearing them spoken so eloquently really puts things into perspective
Thank you Nick. As someone who is stepping in as a daddy to a precious 3 year old girl because the punk who helped create her refuses to get a DNA test and mommy can't leave the needle alone and doesn't even want to be part of her life, my wife and I are adopting her, but you nailed it. I needed this.
I miss my Daddy so much! (I’m 75) He told me he loved me quite often-and while he never told me I was his beautiful little princess like so I wished for as a girl- He did give me the underlying impression that I was smart and competent and was capable of achieving anything I worked hard for! That was a BLESSING & an Enduring GIFT! Thanks Dad!
Nick, As a 33 year old man who just within the last 30 days found out that I am going to be a father, I want to thank you for sharing what you’ve learned through these videos. Naturally my mind as a husband, and now a man with a child on the way, has been running through all of what made me the man I am today, and how to continue to become better. As well as how to ensure to not only always be the protector that I am, but also never let my child forget that their dad loves them and will do anything to secure their happiness and personal strength. Again thank you. You are sharing some of the most important knowledge any man will ever learn, and you do it in a way that penetrates and carries weight.
As a father who has raised 5 daughters to young adulthood you are spot on brother. Even though I've made plenty of mistakes with many regrets, God has been very merciful to me and so far they've turned out pretty well and are good human beings living for the Lord, for the most part. God bless
You are so right. Looking back, I can understand why I chose the man I did, one of the biggest mistakes of my life, one I rectified by divorce. My father was a good provider, but he was withdrawn and didn't really care much to interact with me, traits I found in a man, and it went downhill from there.
What a gift this was. To hear how it’s supposed to be. I cared for my father for the last three years of his life-cancer. He was 84 when he went home last October. He was never a protected but an adversary in our lives. He did not provide for us. He created chaos and fear. He found forgiveness before he passed and that was the endgame for my mom, brothers and I. I am grateful for the time he and I had together in the end but there are gaping holes in our family. We look to Christ for healing and wholeness. Thank you for sharing.❤
I am a 24yr old man with many nieces that I cherish, and one day I hope to have children of my own. Thank you for the advice on how to raise a little girl specifically, demonstrating the building of trust and you are for sure right. A father needs to appear to be the bravest man their child has ever seen, because the father sets the example, and there are far too many fatherless women out there these days.....
As a dad raising a 4 yr old girl, i DEEPLY APPRECIATE YOU, and the position your using to spread knowledge and hope, value and a touch of guidance for us in the wolrd interested in listening...keep it up big guy
I guess you already do it, but just as a girl i would say - spend many time with your kid! My dad used to do it a lot when i was little girl. This really helps in creating strong bond between daughter and dad. Which is incredibly important
I really love that you hold a seat of leadership and guidance in VA, Nick. My father did none of those things that you mentioned. It certainly shaped my perspective - not for the better. Gentlemen such as yourself give me hope. God bless you.
Powerful message. I miss my father, and I am grateful for the role he played in my life. Even after he passed away, the lessons he imparted remained and withstood time.
Wow. You nailed it. These things are time sensitive because there comes a time when if the father has missed the boat on being that type of father foundation for his daughter that she needs, it’s too late for certain repairs to be made. We need more men like this man. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️❤️❤️
I could see you really struggled with "point 5"... must be the hardest realization... And the best proactive tip, tbh? Empowerment, teaching a woman/girl to stand up for herself, is SO important. Thank you for being such a brave and authentic man, brave enough to own up to, and learn from mistakes. Cheers from a female + autistic ethologist!
Wow!! I just ran across this and as a father of 2 young daughters, I can’t tell you enough how I appreciate this!! This hit heavy for sure. THANK YOU is all I can muster right now!
And when that sweet little girl chooses a dress that makes her look a frump or is just plain ridiculous and says, with a big pleased smile ...´Look daddy, my new dress...´ There is no way you are going to say... ¨Sorry, baby, but it´s awful.¨ .... are you?? Sometimes the truth has to be ´adapted´ or ´modified´ or just plain lied about to ensure your baby girls keep their self confidence and happy smile. And if your wife ever asks ´Does my bum look big in this...´ as you dress for a night out .... if you say yes, you ain`t going nowhere! Always tell the truth about important things but the little things in life a ´truth negotiable.
@chrisreynolds3351 I disagree. I ask my husband if something looks good on me because I genuinely want to know his opinion. I never want him to lie to me about it. He doesn't have to be an asshole about it and tell me that a specific dress makes me look like a beached whale, but I do want him to tell me that he doesn't think it suits me. I need him to tell me the truth about things like that, because if the person who thinks I'm beautiful with bed head and granny panties thinks that something isn't very flattering, I probably shouldn't be leaving the house in it. Sometimes love is saying things that people don't want to hear in as gentle a manner as possible.
100% accurate. Don't lie to me or to my daughter because YOU'RE afraid of hurting my feelings or making me have low self esteem. That's not helpful. Instead, tell me the truth and show me what really looks good on me, that'll boost my confidence for sure. @outofthedarkness83 btw when I say YOU'RE I don't mean you, I'm directing that to those that do that sort of thing. 😇
Nick's advice is universal. I never had daughters. I have twin sons who are now 24 years old. Every time we speak on the phone I tell them that I love them. Many times they'll say it first. I was in my late 30s the first time I heard I love you son, from my father who was a crusty old Greek. He believed that compliments led to children having over inflated egos. The reason for his declaration of love for me was that my wife and I had given him twin grandsons. It surprised me. I never expected to hear those words from him. Those word changed my relationship with my father to one that was much closer. Start telling your daughters and sons that you love them early in their lives. It will make a big difference in what type of adults they will become.
I raised 3 daughters. One divorce and a bad decision made my daughters in a vulnerable place. My Ex wife had control. Cost my daughters dearly. I think back I don't think I could have done anything different except Not marry her in the first place. Picking a good partner is really the most important thing to know about children.
Yep. Divorce is single handedly the worst thing that happened to my childhood. Lost my father due to it which is his own fault but I do agree the courts etc ostracize men.
Agreed - I was engaged to a guy who wasn’t good for me. My dad did try to accept it but told me to remember that whoever I married, half his DNA will be the kid’s. This wasn’t the sole reason I broke up with him but was one of them!
100% accurate brother! I was stationed at Ft. Leavenworth it changed my perception on humanity forever! People don't realize what is out there lurking around every corner waiting to pray on our little ones and I will do everything in my power to ensure she is ready and able to defend herself.
I raised twin daughters myself. It was an interesting time. Thankfully they were pretty well behaved and a cake walk compared to stories I've heard from others. I think the major difference is that I was invested in them in more ways than just making sure money came into the house. When any of my 3 kids wanted my attention everything else stopped and I gave it to them. Every time. Games got paused, model building stopped, tv was muted whatever. I attended EVERY school event, I risked losing jobs to make to birthdays. I did everything I swore as a kid myself that I'd do. There were times it got hard, money got tight and I wish I could've taken better care of them but today, decades later the only one left alive has repeatedly assured me they/she never felt like she went without anything. I lost the oldest twin, the wife, and my adopted son in 2001 to a drunk driver. Got a lot of stories of the games they played as identical twins though, probably the only "acting out" they ever did. I don't think either of them ever held their own job. If one had a job, they both had the job. One would work a few days, the other would work a few days and nobody was the wiser despite having polar opposite personalities.
This is pure gold. God bless, Sir! I wish my dad was more like this for I come from a tough love family where expressing love in words is a rear and awkward occasion. Communication was poor, too. I loved him dearly as a little girl and he loved me back cherishing me when I got sick, brushing my hair in the morning, playing and laughing with us kids, cooking breakfast sometimes, driving me to school on rainy days, teaching me the map of the world in a spare time, appreciating my talents. He was never abusive but neither was he affectionate later on when I needed it the most in my teens to teach me how to conduct myself regarding men. He would isolate a lot due to his depression and anger with our mother, who was neglectful to us kids, and I went to live with Grandma (his mother) before my parents divorced. I pray to God to find a man like you, to be a great husband who will appreciate the struggles I went through, and will be a great father to my future kids. Considering the fact how lonely and unloved I felt in my teens, living with very strict and cold Grandma, I actually turned out pretty well. I found my solace in drawing, rose gardening, reading books, and writing poetry. Today I understand she was overprotective for a huge reason, and she expressed her love in teaching me basic life skills and situational awareness. She couldn't stand my mother so she made sure I don't end up like her, hence I was always held up to high standard and expectations. Now when she's gone, I'm grateful to her for being the drill sergeant to me just like she was to her own daughters, raising them alone as a young widow back in the 70s and 80s. She could've just been a little bit warm so I wouldn't have sought it in wrong people.
Wow...no truer words were ever spoken. We raised a son but I'm going to make sure he sees this before he becomes a father. God blessed both your daughters and your wife when He put you in their lives. Keep up the good work.
What a great gift you have given to fathers, Nick. My Dad never told me that he loved me. Only once told me he was proud of me. I never did drugs, ran with a gang, always gave my parents respect even when they didn't deserve it. I'm 70 years old now. Life would have been a little easier if my Dad had done what you do. I also love your shorts. Blessings on you and your family.
As a father, grandfather, and a great grandfather I know what evil lurks in the world for my daughter, three granddaughters, and one great-granddaughter, I have made it my life goal to protect them, and to teach them how to protect themselves for when I meet my maker, thank you for this inspiring video.
Point three is often overlooked by many parents. We told our children that no matter what they could always come to us. We told them we might get mad, they might even get punished but we would always have their back. So we did get (only a few thankfully) of those late night phone calls and were able to handle the situation. I even had some of my children's friends come to me because they were too scared to go to their own parents.
The part where you said that dads think that working is all they need to show love hit me so hard. It was only when I understood that about my dad that I could look at him with another perspective and then grow from it and make our relatioship better. I wish someone had told me that was his way of saying 'I love you', things could have been easier with that and with him open to understand that I needed to be told I love you verbally from time to time.
It took me becoming an adult before I understood this too. My dad was not one to say I love you either. As a teen, I hated him. I thought he didn't understand me and was just trying to "lord it over me" 😅 I never saw love in what he did, but looking back and knowing how flawed we all are and how horribly he had it as a child, I see he did his best.
I want to also add you are also providing your daughters with the most important messages of all. They will look for the same strong yet tender, honest characteristics in a partner. Setting the bar high so nothing less is acceptable or desired. ❤ FYI I totally agree with lesson 4 !! It also goes for the sons as well.
AMEN !!! I spent years worrying about my two sons, now young adults. I am exceptionally proud of them and somehow, they turned out to be really good men. To be frank, I credit their mother for that. Spending hours speaking with my sons about anything, theory, ideas, tech, etc... I think played a major role in their own ability to think for themselves, and not be fearful of going after their own desires of peace and success.
It really would be a great world, but now men get slowly erased... For example trend k1ll0llm3n etc.. Scary... How can you unalive someone just for their different behaviour and body? Liberals are just crazy
Amen, brother. My father raised 6 kids, 3 boys and 3 girls. He messed up as much as he succeeded, but at least he was there, and he tried. Sadly, my late wife and I were never able to have children, though we would have loved to. Regardless, I treat every female in my life as if they were family, and I WILL protect them like a wolf protecting his cubs. I may not win, but I will stand up for them, and I will leave scars.
@@rickraber1249 - aye, I absolutely agree, but part of me wants something more nuanced than that. That instinct to protect is so strong, so intrinsic to my being and has been there for as long as I can remember without being taught to do so, that I feel like something must have happened to those who lack it; like how Patrick Stewart for example has a very peculiar view of masculinity because his father was abusive, or how some men are cowardly because they never had that positive role model.
@@MGShadow1989Maybe you haven't been paying attention to how the world is treating men that foolishly and unconditionally try to white knight. Often they end up dead, jailed, falsely accused... Etc
Thank you for this video. My biological father never did this, but my 'dad' (the man who raised me for 3/4 of my life) did. He gave me lots of love, and sometimes that meant tough love . That made me appreciate the truth. Thanks again.
My heaaaaarrrtttt🤍🤍🤍I am a fatherless women raising a daughter and this is absolutely spot on. I teared up too because every single point you made is so pure and true!!! Thank you, subscribing now!!!!
May God be with you, it's not an easy mission. But it's a honorable one. My mom did her best, she is fatherless too and raised me and my siblings with no dad and I'm forever grateful for her and she's my world. Your kids will appreciate it. Hang in there ❤
I agree on all of this. I’ve also had the humbling experience of my 10 year-old daughter confronting me about ways I’ve failed her. It’s a good reminder to stay humble, as a dad, and be open to these types of discussions with our kids.
A Man's Man . . . I can honestly say everything you have posted is BANG ON . . . Have followed you for a while now . . . we share a common military background (only my duty was to South Africa in 1986). Thank you for your eloquent words and the way you manage to make us the listener feel the power of truth and what could be termed, as my motto goes, "Fearless & Faithful " Thank you
If only my daughter could have had a Father like you are. Her entire life would be so different, so much better. She had to grow up without her Father and she is so bitter and disconnected. She has fantasized her entire life of having her Dads love and attention. Every little girl needs that to make her whole. So Dads- love your daughters and spend time with them. Thank you Nick for your example and helping out other Father's with your very wise advice. Love and respect you so much. We need real men like you in our society and our Country. You know what you believe in and you live it and stand up and speak out for what's right. Keep bringing it. God Bless you and your wife and family.
As the father of a daughter, and two sons, I could not agree more with your video. Especially the end. The thought of not being able to be there to protect your little girl is every father’s nightmare, or at least it should be. I have also taken steps to try to help my daughter be ready should she ever have to confront any monsters. Thank you for sharing this, and I hope every father who hears it will take it to heart. You children are lucky to have you as a father.
Nick, being son to an awesome guy, veteran that served going abroad just like you - I want to thank you in the name of myself and all military parents and their families for giving the voice to the values I was aware of, but never had opportunity of talking trough. What a work... Your channel is a gem and it will stay there for generations to come. Thank you for leaving us your legacy.
Oh I teared right up. Don’t forget to teach them how to kick start a knife. They don’t need reloading and they are very portable. There are many colors and styles. One for every outfit or bag🤠👍🏻❤️
You, sir, are a man amongst men. Thank you for your service, thank you for your honesty and thank you for this message. You never know how far the ripple effect goes when you do a good thing, how many people it can serve, and having the care and the spine to put this out there is what being a real man and a real father looks like.
“You can be tender to her, and a danger to others.” This is worth a thousand, “self-help” books.
❤🥰
Nice, Nick. May I also add: Treat their mother the way you hope their husbands will one day treat them. Kids notice more than you think they do. Girls will see what a loving relationship looks like so they know what to look for in their own partners and the boys will learn how to treat their future wives.
Yes. 💯 %.
I'm so glad you mentioned boys need that kind of model, too, as the mother of a teenage son. I heard our pastor once tell us that the best gift you can give your kids is setting an example of a loving relationship and knowing that their parents really love each other and what that looks like. It gives them a solid foundation to build their own relationships on.
Could never trust my bv Dad, he treated my mother HORRIBLY ML
@@sandramartin9106 That’s a good point. My sister’s ex-husband is a (insert any vulgar epithet and it would apply). She lasted nine years with him then finally found the strength to leave. Their three kids struggled for a while when they were young, but all of them got it together and grew into amazing, functional, stable, happy adults. Certainly, their mother’s constant love was a primary force in their lives, but the damage inflicted by their father was also undeniable. I asked her once how her kids were able to overcome how their dad treated her and them. She said, “Sometimes a bad example can be as valuable as a good one.”
The best that you can do is for your children is to see that you love and respect to your mother
What helped me the most with raising my children was the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. It is honestly a game changer
Outstanding. I made my daughter get her black belt before I let her date so no boy could take advantage of her when I wasn't there for her. I also taught her to shoot and get her license to carry. No one ever took advantage of her, and when she finally met someone who could deal with her confidence and power, they married, and next week is their 11th anniversary. I couldn't be prouder of my daughter.
You should be insanely proud of yourself
You know what they say. A girl can trust you as far as they can kick you.
Yes, but please get the belt in BJJ and not karate🤣. The slogan on our MMA, Jim in huge letters on the wall, on the bus, on promotional materials, “karate will get you killed.“ Even KM is awesome for girls of any age or physical abilities. Get your girls in classes!
My oldest daughter has (2) blackbelts.
Good shit!!!
"Tell your daughter that you love her!... because if you don't, someone that doesn't will and she'll believe him"
Maybe (one of) the most profound advice to a new father I've ever heard. And as someone who was never told by my father I was loved, I can testify to the validity of that advice.
'the most profound advice ' ... and Nick's instinct reaction: wanting to hit him (2:30) ... just sayin '.
@@wolfgangreichl3361 Not sure I understand your comment correctly. Are you saying that Nick's reaction tells you that the advice was bad? Or...?
@@TheMagpie4Real No. I think it's good. Personally my emphasis would have been on 'unconditional love', which he brought later.
But I just couldn't help stumbling on the ever so tiny dichotomy of getting good advice - recognizing it as such - and the intense desire to punch the guy in the face.
@@wolfgangreichl3361 I did understand you correctly then 😊 I just didn't want to presume. English is my third language, so I have to take into account that I can miss something subtle when I can't see the face of the person "saying it". I agree with you.
I couldn't help smiling when Nick said he wanted to hit the guy that just gave him that insightful advice. And at the same time it was a little heartbreaking. I fully understand his inclination for wanting to hit him. He just admitted, that he is fully aware that he is taking advantage of girls who has been emotionally neglected and doesn't know how to defend themselves against further abuse. That he is telling the truth and that his advice is solid is just making him that much more of a bastard for doing what he is doing when he clearly understands the "weakness" he is exploiting.
@@TheMagpie4Real English as your third language, and yet you're more articulate than many who grew up with it. Impressive!
I'm still currently at the hospital as my wife just delivered our second daughter. If this video isnt a God send, I'm not sure what is. Thank you very much for this, from one father of girls, to another.
Congratulations brother to you and your wife! God bless!
@@Nickjfreitas
Happy Father's Day
These songs because Fathers
are Outstanding.
Daddy's Hands
Because You Loved Me
(your children)
Grown Men Don't Cry
Good Job (one voice childrens choir)
@@NickjfreitasI raised a daughter and understand I married someone's daughter.
My daughters husbands must have never had a mother.
In other words they had bad fathers.
He’s right with every detail
You have been blessed by the Algorithm gods.
I love the stance "I want her to be aware of the danger, not to be afraid of it.' This is where training of awareness comes in! Awesome!
Good job as a dad but the last issue on protecting herself I would suggest first, instead of a gun, that she take self defence. My father shot himself and attempt to hurt the family so I hate guns. I also believe knowing the word of God and the power of the Holy spirit can operate, as the word says, better than a double edged sword. I heard a story of a girl who was being chased by 2 men in a park, here in Canada, and the Holy spirit asked her why she was running. So she stopped and pointed her finger at them and said, "In the name of Jesus, I command you to stop" the 2 men dropped dead on the spot. In the court case the judge asked her to explain what happened but stopped her when she came to that part, I think he was afraid of my happen if she continued. I have heard other stories like it and when I feel overwhelmed by the enemy I have done it and felt oppression leave and burdens lift and when I couldn't get the dog to let go of a baby rabbit he found in the yard, I tried it and he dropped it. Others have called on God in an attack and gang members ran when they said they saw large shiny men standing by the people they were about to attack. I also pray for a ring of fiery protection around my loved ones and myself and know he has protected me from many dangers and kept my granddaughter from being kidnapped and now she wants to be a lawyer to put the bad guys away! Sorry if this is long but I felt a need to share my heart and I enjoy your shorts as they give me a laugh so I wanted to bless you in return.
@lilianw.4358 My father was wonderful, but he overprotected me. He taught obliviousness instead of awareness, and I got taken advantage of because of my ignorance. Now I look back on every date he chaperoned when I was a teenager and am grateful, but I wish he would have taught me awareness before I went to college. Also, a daughter won't believe that her father loves her unless he says it with all of the love languages.
@@aprilmcgeown2253 No offense but anyone that thinks someone pointed at two people, invoked *Jesus*, and they dropped dead is uh.. not trying that hard to think, I'm guessing. People of all beliefs all around the world including christians are horribly murdered while praying to their god every single day. God will not save your children. Do your job and teach them how to save themselves.
@@HelloAnnyongGod does protect us but being dumb won't do nothing so you should always protect urself
@@aprilmcgeown2253whoa.
That "tell your daughter..." story hits had. Respect to the guy that gave you a real answer instead of just deflecting.
I met this girl once who had a life very similar to mine. She slept with a lot of guys and said that it was because she didn't grow up close to her dad. For years I wondered what differentiated me from her as I never had the urge to sleep around despite having a similar relationship with my own dad. One day, I understood that the difference was that despite all the issues I had with my dad, I always knew that he loved me and was proud of me no matter what.
I was the same. I had an emotionally absent father who was terrible but never felt the need to sleep around while others did. You said it perfectly
My father abandoned me as a child. It is very likely that he doesn't even care to this day that I exist. I never slept around. In fact, I am still a virgin. In my case growing up with morals and self-respect had nothing to do with my lack of a father figure, but because I had a dedicated mother would led me by example.
@@prettycareye3181, you are a rare soul.
@prettycareye3181 tbh being an eternal Virgin is just as bad or worse than sleeping around.
@@KManAbout Really? What disadvantage does virginity cause in one's life? And what value does sleeping around add to one's life? These are serious questions. I look forward to your answers.
You are the genuine embodiment of “fathers be good to your daughters”…
I try to be! Thank you!
I have seen that men begin to value and see women's perspective only when they have daughters. They want the best for their daughters but how much of that 'best' have they given to other people's daughters in capacity of husbands and boyfriends?
So how about, 'men be good to other people's daughters too'?
Wow! Can’t stop watching your stuff… So much wisdom! Thanks!
Hey, I don’t think Trump has a running mate yet….!
May God bless you sir
Thank you so much for sharing this. My daughter is 16 and I am scared for her every day. She came home from work and told me there was a guy asking her inappropriate things and one of her coworkers ran him off the job site and told her he has a daughter her age so he will make sure she’s safe when I can’t. I am taking that man out for dinner on Wednesday. There are so many good people in this world we need to look out for each other.
I had a guy at work also offer to protect me from situations when my dad can't. I haven't had any situations happen thankfully but there was a guy that was made my coworker a little suspicious. I definetly appreciated my coworkers offer. He threatened to beat up any guys who gave me trouble, and honestly I believe he would do it. He was in the military and has a pretty hot temper. Lol
Giris-women say inappropriate things to boys-men just as often. But we call that empowerment.
@@susansmith493doesn't make it right
@@susansmith493 girls shouldn't say those things either, but at least they don't usually have the capabilities to force things physically like guys do.
@@americandefender1861 Yes, physically, they're far different. But i assure you, girls and women can do massive, deep, long lasting harm from the type of abuse they can do. And fact us, women can also be wildly physically abusive. Work in family law for a few decades. It's not what you've been trained to think.
My pastor had a sermon about the same thing about a father's responsibility in telling their daughter they are loved. My pastor said because if fathers don't tell their daughter they are loved by them some other man will and it will be a lie. I was 31 the first time I heard that and it resonated with me because I never had a dad. As a child and teenager and even as an adult I longed for a father. So I'm married now and my husband tells my daughter and shows my daughter how she is loved by him. I'm so grateful for a loving husband.
My dad had this friend who was a predator towards me, I was 17. To this day I hold a grudge, he always told me he loved me, but when I told him I don’t feel safe around this guy who keeps insisting to take me home with him alone. My dad rubbed it off saying I don’t see things right and then my mom got involved and it took a lot of convincing and evidence of text messages to get him to tell that guy off. It shouldn’t take convincing or evidence if your daughter feels she’s in danger.
And that is the crux! Often times, males do not LISTEN to females. Sounds like your dad may have had nasty thoughts about teen girls or may have done some nasty things himself, thus the hesitation in defending you. Love always protects FIRST.
@@wojtek9500 I’m not muslim, but if you are I suggest leaving islam, it’s not good for people’s moral sanity.
@@wojtek9500I hope you never gave daughters
@deirdremorris9234 not really, her dad could simply have been with narcissistic traits, thus that rubbing off the situation. But good thing that her mother intervened and that she was safe afterwards.
@@sophyamary my dad’s been hiding porn from my mom 10+ years (been caught 3 times) and yes he’s a narcissist, and then he wonders why I have trust issues with him. Not only that but he gaslights and stone walls.
My wife had a garbage relationship with her father. She says I helped her learn how she should be treated. Which is great because she helped me learn how to be a man when my own dad utterly failed to. This is massive. I’ve been able to teach my wife how to love herself when she didn't know how, and how to shoot to protect herself from those monsters your mention. The fact that her dad didn't teach her, his own daughter, lights me up every time I think about it. We are living examples that marriage can be everything God intended when two people are willing to sharpen eachother and be sharpened. And though I'm not expecting kids any time soon, hand to God I feel everything you're saying. Thanks for holding up the standard. It's not without fruit.
Whst a blessed marriage! As it should be.
If you do have children I can assure they have a good father waiting for them and are blessed cheers never had a father that showed me the ropes although I wished so much but hopefully we all meet that one person that demonstrate that love that we all need ❤much love
That's such a great share and I am so happy that you and your wife figured this out. Unfortunately we are seeing more bad examples and experiencing it's rotten fruits, than good. And us, people who experienced and suffered from those bad examples are to break the cycle, learn how to be a real man or woman, husband and wife and teach our children better. I'm only learning these things. And my partner, who also didn't have a balanced upbringing is learning this too in the age of 50 and he, like you, teaches me, the woman how to value myself better by being incredibly good to me. And I, as woman teach him self control and much more by setting boundaries and keeping to them most of the time. Very important. I hope that one day, when we have children we will be able to teach them similar things he discussed in this video and be a living example of our children what true love and balanced relationships mean both with ourselves and with each other in society
A woman can’t teach you to be a man
Thanks for sharing this. It's encouraging though to hear how you and your wife have been such a blessing to each other!
My father was a single father to 4 girls, I’m the oldest of 4. To say it was challenging… is an understatement… there were times that were quite tough on all of us for various reasons. My father was very open with us regarding the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright petrifying… he never held back on anything. He taught us how to fight, how to shoot, and how important it is for my sisters and I to always stick together no matter what. I’m very grateful he is still here to both drive us crazy and love us like crazy all at the same time. I love my father more than anything in the world. My sisters and I are most certainly blessed.
That sounds wonderful to have a father like that, and even from just reading your comment I admire him already, and wished I have a father that's much more than just providing me a comfortable life, though I'm grateful I can live a good upper middle class life but my dad's a deadbeat father, doesn't really teach me things, doenst communicate well, yelling and criticising for small things and because I do things the way I do them and not his way, all the petty butter things he does to ruin my day and mood. Although I don't have a good view of most fathers becuase of him I'm very glad to hear father's like yours exist. I wish I had one like that 😔. But at this point I don't even want that anymore, my perception of parents are far too messed up now, ever since I grew up and got alot smarter. I begin to see them as how they are as individuals, massively flawed personalities, it disappoints me. And I hate to think I'm better than my parents, but there's so many things I'd be able to do so much better at being a parent than them because of all the things I'm aware of their child. They're just so selfish and wants everything to go their way, I'm not going to bend myself into what they want me to be, i think I'm already a very mature, lovely, smart boy, but they just want me to be a certain person and they keep criticising me so pettily. Sorry for the long read, I wouldn't be surprised if you didnt even read 25 percent of this lmao I'm a real talker
@@rns6889You are very valuable. You have immeasurable intrinsic value. You wouldn't give up even one of your eyes for a million dollars. How much more valuable you are than a million dollars.
it is sad that mother wasn;t there, as a child learns diferent things from both mather and a father - but anoyone can teach those things to a child, and even a man can be susptitute for what a mother can teach, it is just that he has to be also a father, provider, cook, cleaner etc - and sometimes single parent dsoesn;t have strenght for all the roles. Mother's love is diferent then fathers, but, what you couldn;t feel growing up (mother's love), you could feel raising your own kid. The fact that your dad raised 4 healthy, happy children is a honoring testiment on it's own - the fact that you say you love him - man. I hope I will get that from my kids when they are your age. You knwo what? Tell your father you love him and hug him, for no reason. You will make his whole week happy :) I know you do it probably all the time, but as father myself, I can tell you it can never be too much :)
I wish my father had taught me things,neither of my parents taught me anything,and at 31 I'm STILL trying to learn
@@GabrielleTollerson and you understand that you need to learn, once you get that, you will find people who know and who can teach. you will be ok, remeber to teach yourkids when the time is right. Good luck
Not only good advice to fathers towards their daughters, but good advice to husbands towards their wives. Thank you for sharing.
I never had a father. It's really nice to know there is a good dad saying all this. I married my husband because he loved children and wanted a family. All the other teenage guys wanted nothing to do with children but wanted everything to do with how to make them. My husband is the best father I have ever known. It's so nice to hear from another good father out there.
I am very glad you found him! Raising young men and women to think of family, can be difficult in a "hook up culture" type of environment. We emphasized to our daughters and our son, that modern dating culture does not set people up for success. That if you are respectful both of your body and theirs and you hold off on the physical, while you ensure a genuine intellectual, emotional and spiritual connection, you are far more likely to have a healthy marriage. Respect for ones spouse, should begin before you ever meet them.
@@Nickjfreitasude nail on the head idk what my parents did but they did right by me because i was 18 before i ever dated my first everything is my wife and shes my last met her at 18 and im on track to outlast my parents mariage 11 years going strong with a 6 going on 7 yr old daughter only person i know with a track record like that besides my granparents
lucky lady..lost my father young, im an old lady and i still miss him..
❤❤❤
The fact that you never had a father and chose a good husband would disprove everything he's saying, unless you're the exception, And everyone just happens to be highlight this.
My dad was in the navy and intelligence. As I was approaching my teenage years, dad started to teach us the essentials of having a gun, overall security and awareness. Those teachings were put to the test one night and it saved my life. My dad wasn't perfect, but he got me prepared for moments that mattered. He passed away 2019 but I remember him.
People don't often realize that the ones we have to worry about with guns are the ones who were never taught how to handle one by a responsible father.
You are blessed with a father like yours. My father was injured when he was 21 years old. He became paralyzed, but he taught me so much about being independent. He didn’t let me drive my first car 4DOOR DATSUN until I could change a flat tire by myself. ❤I miss him
so much. He told me to follow 18 wheelers when I would travel long distances ….❤
My father died when I was a teen. He told me how much he loved me every day. And each day I saw how much he loved and respected my mother. He was fierce when needed but always loving. He's the standard that I used before I said, "I do". All girls need fathers like mine and you. Thank you!
As a father of two daughters 26 and 18, you nailed it. I was gone a lot in the military for 25 years but every day I told them I loved them via voice, email of cassette tape. I made time with them when I was home and I always apologized when they confronted me. They are both smart, feminine, beautiful, capable and they know how to identify the monsters, in all their forms. And I also taught them how to shoot and apply self defense. 😂Great vid man.
This brought me to tears. I had a father who told me he loved me but demonstrated the opposite with his actions. My deepest wound is that he never protected me. May God put more men and fathers in the world like you. I can’t wait to show this video to my loving husband; we’re expecting our first child this year 💕
Congratulations ❤
May the Lord bless you and heal all past hurts and wounds. May your heavenly Father pour His favor over you and your husband and your child and future children to always feel the Love of a Father, especially your heavenly Father🙏
You’re a wonderful Dad. I can feel the love that you have for your daughters and being a good role model to them. God bless you and your family. I wish there will be more Dads like you who take their role very seriously. God loves you!
The best way to heal your personal wounds is to create a safe space and give your wise unconditional love to your children. Wishing you, your husband and your child the best life has to offer.
I hope and pray your future will be good with your family and that God will bless you
As a daughter that had a father that was hands off in my life, I wholeheartedly agree with this entire video. I didn't have someone teach me about the monsters of the world, so when the monsters found me, it scarred me for life. I was way too vulnerable to realize that I was in an abusive relationship until it was way too late. Be kind to your daughter, show her real love and make sure her bar is high.
Thank you for this honest, heartfelt video 🙌
It's more than you realize. Sometimes the girls turn into monsters, themselves.
Not having that influence and involvement can enable some serious problems.
It breaks my heart to read stories like this, I wish I could be there for kids like you, but I would be like the cast lady and have a house full of kids and that's not where God has me.
A middle-age Scandinavian leftie, and fine with that later in life, never the less I wish I'd had a father like you. I fear that even the way you brought up your daughters would have made me a stronger man. Or at least a lot sooner, than I figured it out my self. Great gratitude towards a solid man, though wed probably disagree on many things political.
This! ALL! DAY! LONG!!!
I had the same struggles in my twenties until I broke free off toxic relationships and eventually met my husband. He embodies everything my das wasn't and funny enough my husband had to learn how to become this man in his own 20s because his dad never was in the picture.
Girls and Boys equally need strong, gentle and wise fathers. Society should support men way better in helping them grow to be a leader and protector, not a simp or abuser.
What an incredible example of real deal masculinity channelled exactly as it should be in the family unit. People like Nick are the people who give all of us out here the knowledge and example of the value of good men in society. Don’t EVER let anyone or any organisation distract you from that. Thank you Sir!
Amen🎉
"I want her to be aware of the danger, I don't want her to be afraid of it."
About your teenager daughter correcting you, she learned to recognize the wrong you did by learning the life lessons you and your wife taught her. Her courage to come to you to notify your mistake is a sign you two are doing well.
She will not be afraid to go to God and discuss things with Him!
@@pamelaschomer4120 There is no god
Parents who do wrong need humility to know they did wrong and repent/ammend/apologize for it. Or their kids won't.
@@johnadams3038 then if somebody killed you there's no way to say that it's wrong. Best of luck!
@@catholicfemininity2126 Those parents need to vocally repent/ammend/apologize for their wrong doings to the child they wronged. Saying so in your quiet prayers only heels their souls, never their children'sbroken hearts.
I have a "father" who told me everyday I need to be ashamed of myself and made me ask for permission to eat food. I'd give anything to have a man like Nick in my life. So a huge thank you to all the great fathers out there being a force for good in your family's life.
Stay strong bro 💪
I think you will make a wonderful parent whenever the time comes because you know what children need. I’m so sorry you were denied of your needs as a child, but I do believe it will make you a very strong, loving, nurturing parent. ❤
Oh heavens. I am so sorry you endured that.
I hope you have found peace and safety.
Thanks Nick.
As a young woman with an estranged father, your words brought me to tears. Saving this video for my future husband/aspiring father.
"I asked, and he answered - honestly."
No matter what, ALWAYS be grateful when someone tells you the truth. 👍
Amen.
As to the last point, I've been teaching people to shoot for 40 years now. What I hear most often when a woman realizes she can safely pick up a firearm, competently load it, and hit a target, is, "This is *empowering.*"
My dad abandoned me at 12 for my stepmom and her family… I just wanna say I respect you so much for being a present father people like you a diamonds in the rough
How come he abandoned you for your stepmom (if you were with a stepmom and dad was with a stepmom, does not it make that you 3 were together)?
@@basedpatriotLT your question is self explanatory.
Your father didn't abandon you. He left your momma. Forgive your momma and love your father. Be free.
I was bullied at school and now as a 40 year old man I told my mum about it, and she asked why I hadn't told them at the time. I said because I knew they wouldn't have done anything anyway. I made it my mission in life for my daughters to always be able to tell me what's eating them up. This was truly inspiring, man. Thank you! BTW I've already had an instance of telling a guy (probably harmless but made my daughter scared) to stay away from her on her bus rides to school - politely but firmly. No worries since then.
Me too . My parent is doing the exact same thing currently 😢
Well said, Nick! My father was a abusive weak man!! You are everything I would have loved to have experienced in a father. Thank You for sharing it brought tears to my eyes. Thankfully I was very fortunate to have married a wonderful man that taught me how to love and be loved
Thank you!! And I am very glad you found a good man that treats you with love and respect!
As a younger guy who wants a daughter, and a boyfriend to a girl who is not unlike the girls you mentioned at the beginning of the video who’s father was lackluster. I say from the deepest part of my heart. Thank you, I cried after watching this and I have to say I’m very grateful to it. I may forget your words but I will never forget the meaning behind them.
Thank you for wanting to be a better man
I wish I had this video 18 years ago when my wife and I were expecting our last child and only daughter. It would have made my job much easier. The truth is, I came to the same conclusions in my own trial and error. Today my daughter is looking at becoming an adult in a few weeks, and I am so grateful that I have a terrific relationship with her - specifically because I came to the same conclusions that you teach here.
Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to use the powerful platform you have to promote a godly approach to parenting.
As a father of 2 daughters this is an excellent summation of what life has taught me, and I wish I had this resource before I had to learn it all my own. I'll share this with my son, so he can understand what is in store for him not only as an older brother but as a father himself some day. Your words are poignant, accurate, and heartfelt. God Bless you sir and keep fighting your good fight.
I'm a father of two newborn girls and have no idea what I'm doing. Thank you so much for this!
Yes you do because you found this video . Best wishes to you in fatherhood
Bro pls don't screw up 💀
You got this. I was where you were 30 years ago and my beautiful "girly-whirlies" are now 30 and soon to be mothers themselves. You just love them unconditionally and do the best you can..side-by-side with their mother...every day. Days seem forever long, but weeks/months/years fly by and very soon they will be able to bath themselves, dress themselves, feed themselves, and of course wipe themselves😅. I wish I could tell you just how wonderful they grew up to be, but I don't have the words to adequately describe it. Hang tough! You will be a pro in no time!
none of us do, trust me. my 3rd child (2nd son) will be here in the next 2 months. I still don't think I know what I am doing but I am doing the best I can and that's all that matters.
Be strong brother, I'm sure you will learn and be the best example for them
Nick, thank you so very much. I've raised three daughters and two sons.
These lessons apply to both in different ways. My daughters are successful, bright, well respected women now.
Some of those most difficult conversations happened just as you indicated.
A few times, they came to me because as they put it, "I knew I could trust you."
One is a teacher, one a medical professional, one in the military.
My oldest son is raising sons, and he often calls to say he is sorry for how hard he made my job, then he asks for advice with his boys.
My youngest is 17 and has the potential to follow in those same steps.
Thank God Almighty for the strength and courage to raise those children when their mother left.
Wow😮 What an amazing job you have done. Very honorable.
As 43 yrs old woman who grew up without a father I’m in tears watching this. Its so heart warming to see there are men out there really wanting to do their best as fathers.
Most men i know are this way, and value their family over everything. I know i would give my life to save my daughters without thought. So there definitely loads of fathers like this sorry you missed out
The men that don't care are either very high in sexual market value (e.g. girls without proper raising will throw themselves at him and get pregnant without a ring or even knowing his real name) or extinct! Think about that!
Same here. It took many years of observation and curiosity to reach the conclusion that many men are good to their children and want the best for them.
To be honest, as 42 yrs old man who grew up in a fully functional family, has an amazing wife and 2 kids, I have to admit that I'm in tears too.
The really sad part is that you were surprised. This is actually the default position; it is normal for most guys to feel this way about their children.
I hope you had other male role models in your life. I'm sure you turned out great anyway, it's just a lot easier for kids who have good role models.
Growing up without this has definitely caused a lot more pain and unnecessary drama in my life. It really damages little girls not to have this. Sometimes to the point of no return. Girls who have father's like this are extremely blessed.
Couldn’t click this fast-enough. I’m a 59 year old woman. My father was killed when I was three years old. The love of my life, my dear heart, was gone. I had 4 older sisters. Our world fell apart without him. Him. It has been a long road to try to understand why I chose the male mistakes I did. My father wasn’t around long enough to teach me what a truly good man is. So I went through the school of hard knocks. But I just learned recently why I made the mistakes I have with men. I’ve now put the child inside of me to bed. I’m so content, so free, just became a grandmother to a beautiful boy, and blessed to be here--just me and my Jack Russell, Oscar. What a boy! Thank you for your videos, but this one especially. 🙏🏻
Hugs and love
I can’t even imagine. God be with you
Thanks I'm a single dad of a 10 year old daughter and it's tough. I've made so many sacrifices for her without regret but it's tough. My whole concern is preparing her for life because Daddy won't be there forever. You gave some things I need to implement. Thanks
You can sacrifice for your men, you can sacrifice for your woman but your child is your duty not sacrifice.
I'm a daughter to a man who was a single father during my early years. One thing I can recommend, looking back, is to find a woman you trust (sister, mom, etc) who can teach her how to protect her heart, in addition to her mind and body. There are many things a girl/woman faces that a man will never understand. Things like how to control your emotions, thoughts and actions in various situations. For a girl, her emotions lead to actions. A man will never understand how strong those emotions can be and how hard it is to not act on those emotions. When she takes action, she is giving herself (time, love, body, etc) to whoever that action was taken towards. If she takes action with the wrong person, she is trusting that person with her mind, heart, and perhaps, body. IF that person emotionally hurts her later on, then her heart can become very damaged, because trust has been broken and she is deeply wounded. This is where she needs a woman with life experience to guide her on that path. If you don't know of anyone who you trust to be her friend in those areas, there's still time. Girls usually start grappling with these emotional changes a year or so before their period but then it gets very strong afterwards.
@@GB0915 thank you
@@NEBUKADNECCARstupid ass comment, sweetie. He never said his daughter wasn't his duty, he said he makes sacrifices for her, which is accurate, because everyone who fulfills their duty is making sacrifices to do so.
Your comment doesn't even make sense on its own terms, since "your men" if you are some kind of leader (we all know you aren't) or your woman are also your duty.
@@GB0915 Grandmothers and aunts are powerful in a girl's life. Every single one of my granddaughters have dodgy mothers. Those little girls know that I am in their corner 24/7. They absolutely love me and the messy but safe space I have for them.
You hit it on the head! I have six kids. Three boys and three girls. Everything you said I tried to live and it shows with them. I’m now old and on my way out, but I know that they all will be ok! I’m proud of them all!
As an Army Chaplain and father of 3 beautiful daughters, I concur with every word you said. I wish more soldiers would hear this message early and often to strengthen their relationships.
4 main things you need to remember about my daughter:
1. She's beautiful
2. Her dad is a grumpy old Marine, so don't even think about messing with her
3. Grumpy old Marine has a big backyard
4. Grumpy old Marine has a shovel and an alibi
Same here
How can I love this comment into infinity? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Been watching your videos for awhile now. Can’t say I disagree with any of them yet.
I saw the TikTok and cried. I cried so hard, because when I looked at the man that was supposed to be MY dad. It wasn’t who I use to know. I only know a few things about him. He only knows a few things about me. We’re more strangers than family. I mean he does the basics. I know how to cook, I clean, I get good grades, he taught me how to drive. We both like metal and that’s about as far as things we both like goes. I don’t like him, I feel bad for telling people I don’t like him but I don’t. He yells at me, he hurts me. I do the same, I’m covered in cuts from my legs to my arms all of which I’ve made. I think it’s important to be there for your child, when I needed him he refused to help. We’ve never rebuilt that relationship back after that, and the thing to note is. Abusers don’t abuse everyday. However he feels, he decides to make everyone around him feel.
... and big ego
Spot On ! I had all you mentioned with my dad, and although I'm 65 yrs old and he's been gone 25 yrs, I still cherish the love and respect my dad & I had for each other. He wasn't my "friend", he was "daddy". I trusted him. Dad is the first man a lil girl falls in love with and stays in love with all her life. Thank you for the video.
Thanks Nick... I'm the father of six daughters (and four sons!), but I did not have a father-figure growing up. My dad was just simply not very involved and I've struggled with being the best dad I knew how to be. I'm a veteran and that has both helped and hurt (as I'm sure you understand). Thank you for the terrific advice. I believe I have done fair-to-good with my girls, but only mediocre with my boys. I appreciate your encouragement and pray your family will be safe from the monsters.
At a time when I feel my womanhood is being attacked from all sides, and threatened with nullification, your video is life-affirming. It is good to know that people like you exist.
Us, girls, have to unite! ✊️
@@MeowingCat835True Real Feminism! Women are created equal!
Lol really? Name 1 nation founded by women. Name 1 field of science women created. Name 1 road, highway, or structure constructed by women. Also men invented 96% inventions.
Men are also stronger, faster, smarter, and better at everything.
@@jenniferturner9012 yup, i would consider myself a feminist. An adequate one. For example, i believe FGM should be stopped from being practiced because it's just cruel.
I’m a 73-year old woman who has just begun realizing that the fact that I had a completely detached, unloving father negatively impacted my entire life tremendously. I would’ve given anything to have a father like you.
I'm 72 and realizing the same about both parents.
This is heartbreaking to hear after my physically abusive and verbally abusive father. This is what I’ve always wanted. It was an ache that I turned to the wrong guys to fulfill. I’m 37 and I’m still not over it.
Sarah, you need healing. Seek therapy to help. From a woman about your age who went through the same, it's possible to overcome and heal. Till then, you'll keep attracting bad guys bc you haven't dealt with the pain inside. Do it for you and also for the ones around as well. All the best! ❤
Welcome to the club of abusing fathers. It is hard to get over it but with a lot of self love time and theraphy i could overcome it. It took me a long time but I healed.
It is the only way, healing is hard but not impossible
I don’t think you ever “get over it,” but you CAN learn from it, heal a lot of the pain, and become a healthier person. Please get some therapy. 💜
"Once you get desperate for love, you become easy prey." - Sun Tzu
@@magnetar28I can't stand people promoting an organisation that has harbored and protected proven pedophiles, FOR DECADES. And that's where you'd suggest people go for emotional healing? Are you crazy?
As a father of 3 girls under 4 - I appreciate everything you have shared. I was raised by a single mother; so, I'm not the best to know what to do - working to figure it out as I go and any support I find helps.
Very well done. Most of this can be applied to fathers of sons, and also to husbands. As a husband of a woman that was raised by a horrible father, you have no idea how bad you can mess little girls up by not being a good and strong father. My wife is still (at 34 years old) figuring out why she has the emotional problems she has. We, as fathers owe our children much better than we are giving them in most cases.
I hugely appreciate this comment ❤
My Dad watched a similar video about this. He said that when my oldest sister was little and whenever she would go spend the night at a friend's house, he would introduce himself to the father; shake his hand firmly; and look him in the eye to let him know that "there will be hell to pay if he did anything". He is also a very a loving father. I remember when the whole "National Rape Day" controversy was going around Tik Tok a few years back and it scared me a lot. My Dad took his time to pick me up from work to make me feel safe. 😊
Thank you. I’m a father of beautiful twin girls. They’re five now, and I’ll admit that sometimes I’m a bit too quick to anger when they do something thoughtless. I’ll admit that I have administered punishments when I probably should’ve been more understanding. It breaks my heart. These are things I already knew, but hearing them spoken so eloquently really puts things into perspective
I highly recommend the book, "Parenting With Love And Logic." It'll change how you do business.
@@austinado16hey thanks I will check that out.
As a grown woman, I just sent this to my Dad. It hit me. I never thought about what it was like for him having a daughter when our world is so scary.
Thank you Nick. As someone who is stepping in as a daddy to a precious 3 year old girl because the punk who helped create her refuses to get a DNA test and mommy can't leave the needle alone and doesn't even want to be part of her life, my wife and I are adopting her, but you nailed it. I needed this.
The little girl is lucky to find new loving parents! May the three of you have a beautiful deep bond and help each other love and grow! Congrats 🎉🎉🎉
I miss my Daddy so much! (I’m 75) He told me he loved me quite often-and while he never told me I was his beautiful little princess like so I wished for as a girl- He did give me the underlying impression that I was smart and competent and was capable of achieving anything I worked hard for! That was a BLESSING & an Enduring GIFT! Thanks Dad!
Nick,
As a 33 year old man who just within the last 30 days found out that I am going to be a father, I want to thank you for sharing what you’ve learned through these videos. Naturally my mind as a husband, and now a man with a child on the way, has been running through all of what made me the man I am today, and how to continue to become better. As well as how to ensure to not only always be the protector that I am, but also never let my child forget that their dad loves them and will do anything to secure their happiness and personal strength.
Again thank you. You are sharing some of the most important knowledge any man will ever learn, and you do it in a way that penetrates and carries weight.
As a father who has raised 5 daughters to young adulthood you are spot on brother. Even though I've made plenty of mistakes with many regrets,
God has been very merciful to me and so far they've turned out pretty well and are good human beings living for the Lord, for the most part.
God bless
FIVE DAUGHTERS? Ah hell no thats BRUTAL
5 daughters here as well. Lol
We as fathers, are the blueprint of what our daughter is going to look for in a husband. We have to set that good example.
You are so right. Looking back, I can understand why I chose the man I did, one of the biggest mistakes of my life, one I rectified by divorce. My father was a good provider, but he was withdrawn and didn't really care much to interact with me, traits I found in a man, and it went downhill from there.
Total class. Your children stand their best chance of being what God desires for them because of your love, counsel an leadership. Keep on!
gods not real
What a gift this was. To hear how it’s supposed to be. I cared for my father for the last three years of his life-cancer. He was 84 when he went home last October. He was never a protected but an adversary in our lives. He did not provide for us. He created chaos and fear. He found forgiveness before he passed and that was the endgame for my mom, brothers and I. I am grateful for the time he and I had together in the end but there are gaping holes in our family. We look to Christ for healing and wholeness. Thank you for sharing.❤
I am a 24yr old man with many nieces that I cherish, and one day I hope to have children of my own. Thank you for the advice on how to raise a little girl specifically, demonstrating the building of trust and you are for sure right. A father needs to appear to be the bravest man their child has ever seen, because the father sets the example, and there are far too many fatherless women out there these days.....
As a dad raising a 4 yr old girl, i DEEPLY APPRECIATE YOU, and the position your using to spread knowledge and hope, value and a touch of guidance for us in the wolrd interested in listening...keep it up big guy
I guess you already do it, but just as a girl i would say - spend many time with your kid! My dad used to do it a lot when i was little girl. This really helps in creating strong bond between daughter and dad. Which is incredibly important
You seem to have a heart of gold! I hope more fathers take these lessons with them! Thank you for this
I really love that you hold a seat of leadership and guidance in VA, Nick.
My father did none of those things that you mentioned. It certainly shaped my perspective - not for the better. Gentlemen such as yourself give me hope.
God bless you.
Who else is in tears listening to this and realising u nvr had a dad to confide and learn about building a relationship with?
Me 🙋🏼♀️ It sucks.
As a woman who had an absent father, hearing this has helped me so very much. Thank you for being an example to fathers of what a good one looks like
Powerful message. I miss my father, and I am grateful for the role he played in my life. Even after he passed away, the lessons he imparted remained and withstood time.
Wow. You nailed it. These things are time sensitive because there comes a time when if the father has missed the boat on being that type of father foundation for his daughter that she needs, it’s too late for certain repairs to be made. We need more men like this man. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️❤️❤️
I could see you really struggled with "point 5"... must be the hardest realization... And the best proactive tip, tbh? Empowerment, teaching a woman/girl to stand up for herself, is SO important.
Thank you for being such a brave and authentic man, brave enough to own up to, and learn from mistakes. Cheers from a female + autistic ethologist!
Wow!! I just ran across this and as a father of 2 young daughters, I can’t tell you enough how I appreciate this!! This hit heavy for sure. THANK YOU is all I can muster right now!
And when that sweet little girl chooses a dress that makes her look a frump or is just plain ridiculous and says, with a big pleased smile ...´Look daddy, my new dress...´ There is no way you are going to say... ¨Sorry, baby, but it´s awful.¨ .... are you?? Sometimes the truth has to be ´adapted´ or ´modified´ or just plain lied about to ensure your baby girls keep their self confidence and happy smile. And if your wife ever asks ´Does my bum look big in this...´ as you dress for a night out .... if you say yes, you ain`t going nowhere! Always tell the truth about important things but the little things in life a ´truth negotiable.
@@chrisreynolds3351 couldn’t agree more!
@chrisreynolds3351 I disagree. I ask my husband if something looks good on me because I genuinely want to know his opinion. I never want him to lie to me about it. He doesn't have to be an asshole about it and tell me that a specific dress makes me look like a beached whale, but I do want him to tell me that he doesn't think it suits me. I need him to tell me the truth about things like that, because if the person who thinks I'm beautiful with bed head and granny panties thinks that something isn't very flattering, I probably shouldn't be leaving the house in it.
Sometimes love is saying things that people don't want to hear in as gentle a manner as possible.
Ok I'm on IN in TX@@chrisreynolds3351
100% accurate. Don't lie to me or to my daughter because YOU'RE afraid of hurting my feelings or making me have low self esteem. That's not helpful. Instead, tell me the truth and show me what really looks good on me, that'll boost my confidence for sure. @outofthedarkness83 btw when I say YOU'RE I don't mean you, I'm directing that to those that do that sort of thing. 😇
Nick's advice is universal. I never had daughters. I have twin sons who are now 24 years old. Every time we speak on the phone I tell them that I love them. Many times they'll say it first. I was in my late 30s the first time I heard I love you son, from my father who was a crusty old Greek. He believed that compliments led to children having over inflated egos. The reason for his declaration of love for me was that my wife and I had given him twin grandsons. It surprised me. I never expected to hear those words from him. Those word changed my relationship with my father to one that was much closer. Start telling your daughters and sons that you love them early in their lives. It will make a big difference in what type of adults they will become.
I raised 3 daughters. One divorce and a bad decision made my daughters in a vulnerable place. My Ex wife had control. Cost my daughters dearly. I think back I don't think I could have done anything different except Not marry her in the first place. Picking a good partner is really the most important thing to know about children.
Yep. Divorce is single handedly the worst thing that happened to my childhood. Lost my father due to it which is his own fault but I do agree the courts etc ostracize men.
Agreed - I was engaged to a guy who wasn’t good for me. My dad did try to accept it but told me to remember that whoever I married, half his DNA will be the kid’s.
This wasn’t the sole reason I broke up with him but was one of them!
This is why I don’t agree to legal marriage. But then again not many people are spiritual nowadays which is what the courts take advantage of greatly.
Yikes three daughters that is so cucked and brutal.
100% accurate brother! I was stationed at Ft. Leavenworth it changed my perception on humanity forever! People don't realize what is out there lurking around every corner waiting to pray on our little ones and I will do everything in my power to ensure she is ready and able to defend herself.
I am a registered voter in Virginia. PLEASE PLEASE consider running for Governor. You have my vote.
I raised twin daughters myself. It was an interesting time. Thankfully they were pretty well behaved and a cake walk compared to stories I've heard from others. I think the major difference is that I was invested in them in more ways than just making sure money came into the house. When any of my 3 kids wanted my attention everything else stopped and I gave it to them. Every time. Games got paused, model building stopped, tv was muted whatever. I attended EVERY school event, I risked losing jobs to make to birthdays. I did everything I swore as a kid myself that I'd do. There were times it got hard, money got tight and I wish I could've taken better care of them but today, decades later the only one left alive has repeatedly assured me they/she never felt like she went without anything. I lost the oldest twin, the wife, and my adopted son in 2001 to a drunk driver.
Got a lot of stories of the games they played as identical twins though, probably the only "acting out" they ever did. I don't think either of them ever held their own job. If one had a job, they both had the job. One would work a few days, the other would work a few days and nobody was the wiser despite having polar opposite personalities.
I am so sorry for your and your daughters loss. The idea of them sharing a job is hilarious 😂
Sorry for your loss, very touching to read. I do have to agree with the other comment, them sharing jobs is very funny. Beautiful memories.
I gotta preface this with how I'm sorry for your loss,
But for real, playing twinsies with your *job* is pretty wild.
Sometimes we need a refresher on how to be a good father. I'm forever learning, thank you for these very valuable and insightful lessons.
This is pure gold. God bless, Sir!
I wish my dad was more like this for I come from a tough love family where expressing love in words is a rear and awkward occasion. Communication was poor, too.
I loved him dearly as a little girl and he loved me back cherishing me when I got sick, brushing my hair in the morning, playing and laughing with us kids, cooking breakfast sometimes, driving me to school on rainy days, teaching me the map of the world in a spare time, appreciating my talents.
He was never abusive but neither was he affectionate later on when I needed it the most in my teens to teach me how to conduct myself regarding men. He would isolate a lot due to his depression and anger with our mother, who was neglectful to us kids, and I went to live with Grandma (his mother) before my parents divorced.
I pray to God to find a man like you,
to be a great husband who will appreciate the struggles I went through, and will be a great father to my future kids.
Considering the fact how lonely and unloved I felt in my teens, living with very strict and cold Grandma, I actually turned out pretty well. I found my solace in drawing, rose gardening, reading books, and writing poetry.
Today I understand she was overprotective for a huge reason, and she expressed her love in teaching me basic life skills and situational awareness. She couldn't stand my mother so she made sure I don't end up like her, hence I was always held up to high standard and expectations.
Now when she's gone, I'm grateful to her for being the drill sergeant to me just like she was to her own daughters, raising them alone as a young widow back in the 70s and 80s. She could've just been a little bit warm so I wouldn't have sought it in wrong people.
This is so true! You demonstrate that every day to your daughter, she will try to find that person to love, and protect her for life!
Wow...no truer words were ever spoken. We raised a son but I'm going to make sure he sees this before he becomes a father. God blessed both your daughters and your wife when He put you in their lives. Keep up the good work.
What a great gift you have given to fathers, Nick. My Dad never told me that he loved me. Only once told me he was proud of me. I never did drugs, ran with a gang, always gave my parents respect even when they didn't deserve it. I'm 70 years old now. Life would have been a little easier if my Dad had done what you do. I also love your shorts. Blessings on you and your family.
As a father, grandfather, and a great grandfather I know what evil lurks in the world for my daughter, three granddaughters, and one great-granddaughter, I have made it my life goal to protect them, and to teach them how to protect themselves for when I meet my maker, thank you for this inspiring video.
Yeah but don’t forget to teach your sons and grandsons etc. to behave and respect women. In college they tend to be predatory, and as adults as well.
@@truehappiness4Uand to respect women, while still respecting yourselves.
Spoken like a true father figure! Thank you Nick. I needed to hear this.
Point three is often overlooked by many parents. We told our children that no matter what they could always come to us. We told them we might get mad, they might even get punished but we would always have their back. So we did get (only a few thankfully) of those late night phone calls and were able to handle the situation. I even had some of my children's friends come to me because they were too scared to go to their own parents.
The part where you said that dads think that working is all they need to show love hit me so hard. It was only when I understood that about my dad that I could look at him with another perspective and then grow from it and make our relatioship better. I wish someone had told me that was his way of saying 'I love you', things could have been easier with that and with him open to understand that I needed to be told I love you verbally from time to time.
It took me becoming an adult before I understood this too. My dad was not one to say I love you either. As a teen, I hated him. I thought he didn't understand me and was just trying to "lord it over me" 😅 I never saw love in what he did, but looking back and knowing how flawed we all are and how horribly he had it as a child, I see he did his best.
I want to also add you are also providing your daughters with the most important messages of all. They will look for the same strong yet tender, honest characteristics in a partner. Setting the bar high so nothing less is acceptable or desired. ❤ FYI I totally agree with lesson 4 !! It also goes for the sons as well.
A huge thumbs up on this video! These are scriptural principles about humility, authority, tenderness, honesty and so much more. Thank you. 😊
AMEN !!! I spent years worrying about my two sons, now young adults. I am exceptionally proud of them and somehow, they turned out to be really good men. To be frank, I credit their mother for that. Spending hours speaking with my sons about anything, theory, ideas, tech, etc... I think played a major role in their own ability to think for themselves, and not be fearful of going after their own desires of peace and success.
Imagine how amazing this world could be if people understood and aspired to be what a what a great father is.
Grounded Conservative values
It really would be a great world, but now men get slowly erased... For example trend k1ll0llm3n etc.. Scary... How can you unalive someone just for their different behaviour and body? Liberals are just crazy
Amen, brother. My father raised 6 kids, 3 boys and 3 girls. He messed up as much as he succeeded, but at least he was there, and he tried.
Sadly, my late wife and I were never able to have children, though we would have loved to. Regardless, I treat every female in my life as if they were family, and I WILL protect them like a wolf protecting his cubs.
I may not win, but I will stand up for them, and I will leave scars.
I strongly relate to that protective instinct and I genuinely do not understand those who lack it.
Rotorhead, with an attitude like that, you're already a winner.
@@MGShadow1989 Let me help you understand: they aren't real men.
@@rickraber1249 - aye, I absolutely agree, but part of me wants something more nuanced than that.
That instinct to protect is so strong, so intrinsic to my being and has been there for as long as I can remember without being taught to do so, that I feel like something must have happened to those who lack it; like how Patrick Stewart for example has a very peculiar view of masculinity because his father was abusive, or how some men are cowardly because they never had that positive role model.
@@MGShadow1989Maybe you haven't been paying attention to how the world is treating men that foolishly and unconditionally try to white knight. Often they end up dead, jailed, falsely accused... Etc
Thank you for this video. My biological father never did this, but my 'dad' (the man who raised me for 3/4 of my life) did. He gave me lots of love, and sometimes that meant tough love . That made me appreciate the truth. Thanks again.
My heaaaaarrrtttt🤍🤍🤍I am a fatherless women raising a daughter and this is absolutely spot on. I teared up too because every single point you made is so pure and true!!! Thank you, subscribing now!!!!
May God be with you, it's not an easy mission. But it's a honorable one. My mom did her best, she is fatherless too and raised me and my siblings with no dad and I'm forever grateful for her and she's my world. Your kids will appreciate it. Hang in there ❤
A truly loving Father 💕
I agree on all of this. I’ve also had the humbling experience of my 10 year-old daughter confronting me about ways I’ve failed her. It’s a good reminder to stay humble, as a dad, and be open to these types of discussions with our kids.
A Man's Man . . . I can honestly say everything you have posted is BANG ON . . . Have followed you for a while now . . . we share a common military background (only my duty was to South Africa in 1986). Thank you for your eloquent words and the way you manage to make us the listener feel the power of truth and what could be termed, as my motto goes, "Fearless & Faithful " Thank you
If only my daughter could have had a Father like you are. Her entire life would be so different, so much better. She had to grow up without her Father and she is so bitter and disconnected. She has fantasized her entire life of having her Dads love and attention. Every little girl needs that to make her whole. So Dads- love your daughters and spend time with them. Thank you Nick for your example and helping out other Father's with your very wise advice. Love and respect you so much. We need real men like you in our society and our Country. You know what you believe in and you live it and stand up and speak out for what's right. Keep bringing it. God Bless you and your wife and family.
As the father of a daughter, and two sons, I could not agree more with your video. Especially the end. The thought of not being able to be there to protect your little girl is every father’s nightmare, or at least it should be. I have also taken steps to try to help my daughter be ready should she ever have to confront any monsters. Thank you for sharing this, and I hope every father who hears it will take it to heart. You children are lucky to have you as a father.
As a father of two grown daughters...I wholeheartedly endorse this message.
Nick, being son to an awesome guy, veteran that served going abroad just like you - I want to thank you in the name of myself and all military parents and their families for giving the voice to the values I was aware of, but never had opportunity of talking trough. What a work... Your channel is a gem and it will stay there for generations to come. Thank you for leaving us your legacy.
Oh I teared right up. Don’t forget to teach them how to kick start a knife. They don’t need reloading and they are very portable. There are many colors and styles. One for every outfit or bag🤠👍🏻❤️
You, sir, are a man amongst men. Thank you for your service, thank you for your honesty and thank you for this message.
You never know how far the ripple effect goes when you do a good thing, how many people it can serve, and having the care and the spine to put this out there is what being a real man and a real father looks like.