This anorexia was occurring with my spouse for years. Even after her first affair which she was largely unapologetic for she continued to be anorexic in our marriage. I stood by her and kept trying to reach out but was rebuffed every time. Sometimes a year would go by with no physical intimacy greater than giving her a massage or holding her at night. Then she went on a “rampage” having 5 affairs within a 9 month period. After a year in recovery, including a 1 week intensive with an organization that specifically addresses sexual addiction and anorexia, she remains anorexic. I’ve since moved into my own room despite her protests and there I shall stay until and unless I see some real change in her. I simply can no longer take the combination of her affairs and her anorexia. While it is true that love is risky for everyone, for some love is foolhardy. At some point we really need to protect our mental well-being.
@@ggstorm8101 emotional is what our issue is. He keeps it from me and never is able to share but he can sure share with other woman. It makes me feel horrible, it’s starting to take a toll. With a his behavior I have gotten sick and have formed stomach issues and it’s getting back to being bad. It’s literally killing me.
What is it when one member of the marriage constantly takes responsibility for all issues in the relationship, even if it truly isn't an issue that they created.
You taught me more than I have learned in months of listening about this issue. I am stuck but feel less stuck and less responsible for the way things keep going. It's not my wish for this to be this way, someone else must claim their responsibility and closure is more clear here today.
My husband and I haven’t had any intimacy whatsoever in about 7 years, he kept rejecting me and started and affair with my friend and was hoping i will never find out about it because he wants to divorce me. I love him and i know he has been suffering from all the stuff you mentioned including getting abandoned by his family and he is so isolated and far from any type of emotions, he says he loves me but something inside of him pushes me away. He knows how much i love him and i do unconditionally and even though he knew his affair is going to crush me to pieces he did it anyway. He wants divorce and he says he doesn’t want to work on his problems , i wish he would listen to your videos, but i am done trying. I don’t have any more energy left, whatever is left i have to spend on myself to heal and get out of this marriage even though something inside me says No.
He has been a sexual anorex for more than 18 years. How do we move forward? We tried the open relationship. That did not work. I fell into limerence. I know he is doing so much work. I have asked God to open me up to love him and fall in love with him. He starved the marriage he starved me for way to long of praise, sex, love recreational time, quality time. So much heart ache and depression.
Wayne, This video spoke deeply to me. I was the unfaithful. My wife was intimate anorexia before the affair. I am now. Not trying to be. I’m just shut off
Same situation here, I was preoccupied with my job to the point that I wasn't very affectionate or intimate and by the time I realized it and started to get better it was too late and he had an affair. Now he is super distant, won't open up, rarely affectionate or intimate. Some of his off behaviors during the affair have returned and I am so worried he is or will end up back with her. 😟
This is a vicious issue. Sexual anorexia isn't our issue, but emotional anorexia is. I explain it to therapists and they say what's the worst that could happen if you open up. Nothing, but that isn't the issue. When your spouse asks how you feel and there is an emotional block where you don't even know what you feel, you just know you won't talk because everything that you are screams not to. As I say, it's vicious.
So are you correlating infidelity and the Intimacy Anorexic partner? The one who is actively & intentionally withholding, being the culprit of infidelity?
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This anorexia was occurring with my spouse for years. Even after her first affair which she was largely unapologetic for she continued to be anorexic in our marriage. I stood by her and kept trying to reach out but was rebuffed every time. Sometimes a year would go by with no physical intimacy greater than giving her a massage or holding her at night. Then she went on a “rampage” having 5 affairs within a 9 month period. After a year in recovery, including a 1 week intensive with an organization that specifically addresses sexual addiction and anorexia, she remains anorexic. I’ve since moved into my own room despite her protests and there I shall stay until and unless I see some real change in her. I simply can no longer take the combination of her affairs and her anorexia. While it is true that love is risky for everyone, for some love is foolhardy. At some point we really need to protect our mental well-being.
I can relate
@@ggstorm8101 emotional is what our issue is. He keeps it from me and never is able to share but he can sure share with other woman. It makes me feel horrible, it’s starting to take a toll. With a his behavior I have gotten sick and have formed stomach issues and it’s getting back to being bad. It’s literally killing me.
@@tamikawoody8686Start to prioritize yourself and stand up for yourself.
What is it when one member of the marriage constantly takes responsibility for all issues in the relationship, even if it truly isn't an issue that they created.
You taught me more than I have learned in months of listening about this issue. I am stuck but feel less stuck and less responsible for the way things keep going. It's not my wish for this to be this way, someone else must claim their responsibility and closure is more clear here today.
I have never heard of this concept. But I now see this had been a long standing problem. This bears weight.
I wish I’d saw this years ago. We both were doing this, working on it now.
My husband and I haven’t had any intimacy whatsoever in about 7 years, he kept rejecting me and started and affair with my friend and was hoping i will never find out about it because he wants to divorce me. I love him and i know he has been suffering from all the stuff you mentioned including getting abandoned by his family and he is so isolated and far from any type of emotions, he says he loves me but something inside of him pushes me away. He knows how much i love him and i do unconditionally and even though he knew his affair is going to crush me to pieces he did it anyway. He wants divorce and he says he doesn’t want to work on his problems , i wish he would listen to your videos, but i am done trying. I don’t have any more energy left, whatever is left i have to spend on myself to heal and get out of this marriage even though something inside me says No.
Thank you for explaining what im currently living with.
He has been a sexual anorex for more than 18 years. How do we move forward? We tried the open relationship. That did not work. I fell into limerence. I know he is doing so much work. I have asked God to open me up to love him and fall in love with him. He starved the marriage he starved me for way to long of praise, sex, love recreational time, quality time. So much heart ache and depression.
Wayne,
This video spoke deeply to me. I was the unfaithful. My wife was intimate anorexia before the affair. I am now. Not trying to be. I’m just shut off
Same situation here, I was preoccupied with my job to the point that I wasn't very affectionate or intimate and by the time I realized it and started to get better it was too late and he had an affair. Now he is super distant, won't open up, rarely affectionate or intimate. Some of his off behaviors during the affair have returned and I am so worried he is or will end up back with her. 😟
This is a vicious issue. Sexual anorexia isn't our issue, but emotional anorexia is. I explain it to therapists and they say what's the worst that could happen if you open up. Nothing, but that isn't the issue. When your spouse asks how you feel and there is an emotional block where you don't even know what you feel, you just know you won't talk because everything that you are screams not to. As I say, it's vicious.
Look into high functioning autism...
So are you correlating infidelity and the Intimacy Anorexic partner? The one who is actively & intentionally withholding, being the culprit of infidelity?
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Wow... powerful... thank you
What books talk about relational anorexia? This sounds like my problem
That's what im in because my husband is spending an obese amount of phone time with his AP
17 years my husband coddled his LF lover. Then had close proximity affair. It’s torture.