Metal Gear Survive (Zero Punctuation)
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- Опубликовано: 13 мар 2018
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Игры
_"It is occasionally not boring"_ Ben Crowshaw
Quick, Konami, plaster that all over the game box, that is the single highest piece of praise this game will _ever_ receive.
Graeme Vaughey coming from yahtzee, that is FUCKING AMAZING
at least then people might buy it because ZP had something to do with it.
How dare he off-handedly, give that game a mild compliment!?
Graeme Vaughey
Yep, and "occasionally not boring" is the highest praise this is deserving of.
Nathan Clark
I don't get where people are coming from with comments like this. Yes, he is a reviewer that predominantly focuses on the negative aspects of a game, but just because he was able to come up with more negative things about other games doesn't mean it was good; in fact he does actually talk about more positive aspects of games he does like. It means it was so bland he barely could come up with anything to distinguish between positive and negative to begin with. And in a lot of ways, that is even worse than an asset flip Steam game.
4:42 Now THAT'S Zero Punctuation
Zero P is his rapping name
Lay a backing track under that shit.
Hit that 1.75, and open up a dimensional rift.
The man's still got it after all these years
Try watching it at 2x
Konami developers: our left leg is in a bear trap!
Konami executive: well saw the right one off
Konami devs: thanks!
Balance
metal gear used to be solid. now it's just trying to survive.
TheIntergalacticN 10/10 comment.
TheIntergalacticN do you feel proud?
Solid Comment... Mind to take liberties?
Remember the the time it was rising now it just tries to survive
Ba dum TIS
Gotta admit, this review was way more positive than I expected...
Because it's a decent little game. If you bother to, actually play it more than five minutes, which none of the reviews did.
? what are you talking about? he ripped it a new one in the end
He was pretty fair to the game. Unlike other so called reviews of the game. I swear angry joe never played more than hour and certainly didn't beat the game.
Nothing here indicates Yahtzee beat it either
Yep. Surprised me to the brink of a heart attack.
When the top popped off Revengeance at 1:25, I was really hoping it would be filled with ducks with little Senator Armstrong faces.
Or slimy tentacles
or Sundowner faces
Or Sam's shit-eating grin.
Or all 4 of these
I was expecting Nanomachines, son.
In defense of why Big Boss doesn't hire people who doesn't look grizzy
He punch the living shit out of them and send them up to orbit by a damn balloon, remember?
That sound like a headache and brain damage.
Next time on zero punctuation
“Let’s all laugh at a industry that never learns anything, te he he”
One of the best intro jingles ever composed by mortal man.
4:44 - Sometimes Yatzhee needs to remind people why this is called "Zero Punctuation"
when does he get the chance to breathe!!!!
he does that once in a while, but when he does, Oh Boiii,
the funny thing is, even when he speeds up, you can still clearly hear and understand what he is saying
4:45 jesus christ. That's why it's called "ZERO PUNCTUATION"....
Actually most of these bad choices are made by the LEADER of konami who is... The most loonatic person ever... Hes in charge because he directed a succesfull MOBILE PHONE GAME ...
No wonder they went down this rout.
alex_9000 u wot?
aylamaiia seriously look up what the new leader of Konami made before being in Charge ITS FUCKING HORRENDOUS!
This explains a lot of things
Japanese public loves mobile games a lot
Yahtzee of all people was the most kind to Survive. That is incredibly hilarious.
Then again, 2/10 is still more than 1/10 so.....yeaaah
Suika Ibuki probably because he probably played it past the tutorial unlike Jim Sterling, Angry Joe, and Dunkey
Suika Ibuki because he's not biased as hell like so many other reviewers
right you are. He was able to look past the BS and just focus on the game.
The game is STILL BAD, though. But at least he was fair.
Indeed, he mentioned the 15 min defense part which is pretty darn late in the game.
Carlos Yahtzee is super biased, just like any other reviewer. What are you on about? They each have their own biases and preferences.
Been a long time since i saw a thumbnail like this
I missed them, honestly.
Frog Lawyer hes beencdoing it for years? Wtf are you talking about?
Frog Lawyer Game was so shit he didn’t even bother making a thumbnail for it and just used a screencap instead
That's because it's 43 minutes old. Give it time to stop crying, at least rinse the blood off.
Ra the Sun God It wasn't a complain... I was simply surprised they bring this kind of thumbnails back. This doesn't make the video any worse, it was still an amazing video, as always.
This is what I love about ZP. Yahtzee doesn't give a fuck about hype or negative hype or any of that shit. He just says it like he sees it.
Don't you love it when Yahtzee proves as to why his series is called Zero Punctuation?
"Occasionally not boring"
I think this is by far the most positive review of the game I've seen.
...wonder if Konami paid him off?
Having never really played a metal gear game before I can honestly say with a fresh pair of eyes its not bad, just like DMC, pretend it's not a metal gear game and it has a few points in its own merit
GoldenGamer true
But not many
So basically, like Dark Souls 2 or Fallout 4, a decent game on it's own merits if you pretend it's not a game in its respective franchise.
@@KitsuneYojimbo No! Not decent on its own merit. It's garbage through and through.
@@eddebrock So Survive was actually that bad? Glad I missed it if that's the case.
Love that image of Metal Gear Survive dragging itself back to Konami with three arrows in its back going "They weren't into it." Add a pitchfork and torch wielding mob following him and that's a 100% accurate representation of the reception Survive got on release.
Konami Exec 1: We are losing money, the only thing keeping us afloat as a game company is Kojima
Exec 2: You're right! Lets fire him.
Exec 1: That sounds like a great idea!
Honestly #FucKonami
Actually Kojima was sinking their business with his insanely bloated budgets and long development times.
Gaming was actually always a small portion of their income, they make way more in pachinko. Kojima games made their money, but just not as much.
Their profit margins were slim with his insane budgets. Now they're laughing as Sony enters that sinkhole with the insanity that is death stranding. I mean look at that thing, hollywood actors, tons of CGI trailers. They're never making their money back on that thing.
breadordecide yeah, but at least people are loving sony and for it, meanwhile Konami is just getting shit on by everybody
It did work out pretty nice for konami after Kojima left, small budgets and no sales extreme hate, i see as a big win situation.
And as sony doesn't need profit for his games that badly, a 10/10 exclusive would rack in more money anyway, i'm on board.
4:44 When you try to steal the world record from eminem by speaking as fast as you can :D
United Potatoes Boomhauer award
United Potatoes Best thing is, it's actually understandable.
United Potatoes
John Machito JR lost it?
Isn't that Jay Z's new album?
Ah my friend you forget the micromachines man
4:45 Wow, Yahtzee is indeed the zero punctuation master.
Yahtzee: Mentions Silent Hills.
Me: Cries in the corner.
This probably the most objective you've been in a review since. Ever. Damn yahtzee never thought I'd see this day come
That tourist joke is top notch. Almost chocked to death thanks to it.
As someone who has english as their second language, you were speaking so gosh darn diddly fast in the last minute I had to slow the video down and use subtitles just to understand what you were saying. lol
ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴀʀʏꜰᴀɴʙoʏ Pretty much all his reviews are like that--but he streams and talks at a normal human pace then :D
Welcome to Zero Punctuation reviews.
English is my only language and I could barely keep up.
Welcome to zero punctuation.
He is like this because he uses zero punctuations.
ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴀʀʏꜰᴀɴʙoʏ you're new here, aren't you
"Occasionally not boring"
Damn, those are kind words from Yahtzee....
Look, game franchises are more than capable of living without their creator. It's when they're in the hands of someone who doesn't know what the fuck they're doing is when problems arise.
Game franchises can die with their creators too, it's a two way road.
But it sure does happen more when they left to others.
Joao Batista Perin Junior That rarely happens...
ManiacX1999
*looks at Crash(before the remaster), Spyro, Silent Hill, and dozens of other games*
Dude, have you even played a long running franchise? Other then Nintendo games, most of them have shit games in their libraries.
Moment of silence for the Mass Effect series
Tooooootally. Which is why we have so many, like seriously so many, games on par with MGS's quality and wtf factor...... I mean, think about it. It only takes counterfeiters years of their lives studying great works of art to recreate fakes in their image that only the most highly trained eye can discern, so a business that thinks Pachinko is a better bet than videogames? Yup. They got this. There is no such thing as a virtuoso in gaming.....
He never touched on how they require you to buy save slots.
Maybe Metal Gear Survive takes place in an alternate universe where the Decepticons won the war for Cybertron and corrupted humanity with Dark Energon.
Konami aren't inventive enough to think of something slightly above lazy.
deus vult this sounds like it was written by a 12 year old on an extreme coco-pops high
I get the distinct feeling he may not have liked this game.
How can you tell?
:V
Dat triple AAA rant at the end tho.
This is ironically some of the highest praise Survive has seen, and it's coming from Yahtzee.
Your breath control in this is amazing
Shit another book? I haven't even started "will save the Galaxy for food"
The only one trying to survive here is my dignity after playing this game.
Already dead :D
We still love you.
I’ve waited so long for this.
The way he said "We really fucking aren't" was so evocative goddamn.
Yahtzee thank you for bringing the heat for years, hope you keep doing it for many more
This is first time i am watching this show and i get it why it is called zero punctuation.
4:42 - 5:55 for the first time i had to listen twice, so i can understand everything. Well done sir.
I really enjoy the speed he talks, it's only a tiny bit quicker than everyone I know talks (when they know what they are talking about), except with no punctuation, that's why I like it, no messing around, and I find the humor quite funny.
Y'know, given the subject matter and the reviewer, this review is unusually kind
You really hit the zero punctuation towards the end there Yahtzee.
I've been waiting for this!
R.I.P Metal Gear, may it live on forever
Is it just me or does Yahtzee sound realy pissed about the fact, that he can't just call the game unmitigated crap?
He does enjoy a good field day tearing apart the undeniably shitty. It's like a hobby for him. So yes, it denied him his favorite pasttime.
I’m surprised Yahtzee didn’t mention the character save micro transactions. That’s plenty reason to “burn the studio down.”
To be fair, it's really only as good as it is because of the engine, which they just took from MGSV anyway.
It's not a character save its an entire new character that can use and adds to your current stocked resources over all characters. Plus I've also been showered with enough premium currency from daily logins to get an extra character if I wanted it. It's just like paying for FOB's.
You say that like it's a good thing. The fact that not only is another save locked behind a "micro"transaction, but ALSO having that extra character actively make your original character better is just gross. Games shouldn't be a fucking job that you clock into each day, and then get rewarded with scrip that can only be spent at the company store, to buy equipment that should have just been given to you in the first place.
Calling it now.
This is #5 in the bland list.
Minimum, 3 max
I'd say #3 which is really the worst place to be on that list because it doesn't stand out enough even in being bland to be above or below it.
I'll be surprised it's not in the 'meh' position of 3rd in the top blandest games of 2018.
vinnythewebsurfer I would say 3rd. Because, you know, being bland but not bland enough to make it the most bland is a feat in of itself
I’m from the future to tell All of you that you’re wrong. It’s his 3rd worst.
LOLed at the funny bits, especially with wormholes and imps and zombies! XD
It got REALLY zero punctuation at the very end there, excellent :)
*I've been looking forward to this*
Let's all laugh at an industry that never learns anything tee hee hee.
On the up side death stranding looks great.
By god the end of this video was glorious. So fast, but so true.
Waiting for the print version of Yahtzee new book.
He seemed to enjoy this game more than Kingdom Come Deliverance. Odd indeed
He's a contrarian, what do you expect?
That last line is genius
This is the perfect review of metal gear survive
Blandest game of 2018?
Pyre Light nope
WORST (who know, maybe many morebto come)
I wouldn't go that far with the "worst". MGS (not to confuse with Solid) is just incessantly mediocre, and would have probably gone by without fanfare were it not part of a recognized franchise. The worst games of the year are games that barely function, that drive you insane just by looking at them, things that Man should have never conceived for they are considered acts against God.
same, as for worst, I'd probably give that to hunt down the freeman (if you can even call that a game).
Nah. Game isn't even that bad. Just mind numbingly mediocre.
Pyre Light He should have a list of Laziest Games where clearly the studio put minimal effort into the actual game. It wpuld definitely fit there.
Are tactical farts an actual game mechanic?
2:35 YAHTZEE, PULL OUT, YOU'RE SHOWING EMOTION
Hilarious as always mate! Great review! :D
I love that imagine of the reception to MGS: Survive I can imagine a skit based on it.
Konami: Ah here comes our latest game now how was it?
MGS Survive: I don't think they liked me.
Konami: What gave you that impression?
MGS Survive: Well... (Falls forward reveling several arrows in his back)
Konami: Ah... well... bugger... (Takes an arrow between the eyes pans over to a masked bowman)
???: Finally revenge (Pulls off mask to reveal its PT)
PT: For Kojima San!!!
Snake snake snaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Hey, that’s just as fast as Eminem in Rap God!
And I followed every word he said! Yay.
"occasionally not boring" the best way to describe it...
wait why does this game have "metal gear" glued to it?
EDIT: don't say money
Gotta get the cash, gotta get the dough.
chatotalks _____, Get away, get a good job with good pay and you're ok,
What else could someone say?
chatotalks ____ loads of _____
Money.
Never thought I'd see the day when Dunkey was more harsh than Yahtzee. What a world we live in.....
Yahtzee actually isn't that harsh anymore for the most part, unless the game is truly awful. Most "bad games" these days are just boring or not worth getting in a tizzy over, despite that being his entire gimmick. This game is a perfect example. It's just...mediocre. it just exists. It's not worth getting angry over because to do so would require more thought and emotional engagement then the makers themselves gave to it.
That, and with stuff like this, he tends to be more Passive aggressive than proactively aggressive, usually because everyone else has already done the whole Aggressive part.
I was actually hoping for Yahtzee to offer a bit more of an unbiased view of the game given how he prefers poking fun at Kojima's absurd storytelling and never seemed too attached to the whole thing. He still didn't seem to explore much of the gameplay, but at least he's not taking it like Konami just butchered his own child. That skinner box comment really summed up the whole situation, which was about as realistically harsh you can be about this game.
Pc Genie (videogamedunkey) The dude has some really funny videos and some review content. I recommend checking out his non-review content if you really want to laugh.
Poyo Spartan I fall into a similar boat on not giving a shit about Kojima. I loved playing V but the story was god awful and hidden behind terrible choices. I'm looking forward to Death Stranding because it will either go down in flame proving that Kojima is insane or it will be great and will point to the fact that I just don't understand his "vision". Or alternatively, It will get praise while being terrible and prove that people really are just balls deep on anything Kojima.
Man, the attempt at breaking the world record for fastest talker got me rolling.
I was having a bad day, till I saw this on my notifications.
Metal Gear Dies
GammaDelta MG killed in action
Fashionably early, as ever.
Styx Shards of Darkness, It's Thief with a goblin in it. It's totally up your alley
give me the pachinko machine and bugger off. Watching a metal ball bouncing around is more fun that about 90% of the games being made this year and last year and the year before that.
Somethingth.
It seems obvious to me why Yahtzee isn't just tearing the game apart. I never got the impression that he liked the other mgs games all that much in the first place. So why would he feel betrayed that it's changing. Every other youtuber actually liked Metal Gear so they can't judge it on its own merits.
Spectre Walkthroughs he also kinda liked MGS V but because of the gamemplay being fun, not any connection to the game's themes or ideas.
4:45 That fast talking fucking killed me. XD
"Occasionally not boring"
Well, that's still better than what I expected from it.
Never thought I'd see the day when Yahtzee gave one of the more favorable reviews of a bad game.
$10 to buy a save slot. what kind of world is this?
Shockingly accurate imho
Metal Gear Survive should just a two separate big DLC for MGS5, one is this the survive the zombie and the other is co-op online campaign.
#FucKonami
so... it's a bad version of dragon quest builders
Holy crap, you went full-on "micro-machines commercial" about 2/3 of the way through ^_^
"Occasionally not that boring" should be one of the on-box quotes for the inevitable "complete edition" release
Zombie games are a dead genre.
State of decay 2 and the last of us 2 would like a word with you.
Also there hasnt been many zombie games in like a year. (i dont even consider this game really a zombie game)
Also Days Gone.
Good joke you have there, it'd be a shame if it went over people's heads...
ayyyy i see what you did there
fuck you
Zombies have the potential to be very interesting concepts, yet very few can do more with it other than making a bland copy of other successful zombie related stuff.
So it's the world war z: the movie of games?
Fundamentally just okay but tainted by the fact that it represents a huge disservice to the source material and middle finger to the core audience
I lost it at 1:27. Great job :)
That was the fastest 5 minutes of my life. Honestly.
I don't even get why anyone would want to play it in the first place. There are three categories that Survive plays into: Zombie, Survival, Metal Gear. The thing is that there are probably/most likely better zombie games, better survival games, and there are definitely better Metal Gear games. If any of those interest you, find those better games, and let the average-at-best cash grab wither and die.
Because you can play those to death and be totally bored by them. I like this game a lot and play it between Monster Hunter and Kingdom Come.
People forget the MG made spin-offs
"Blood stained filth." So a typical Tuesday for you.
Yes
I didn't sign up for british Eminem doing game reviews at Rap God Speeds, but that's what I got
I'm ok with this
He's Australian.
Red Kite He's British but was born in Australia.
Props to you Yahtzee for judging the game on GAMEPLAY. All I hear from everyone else is "WAAAAHHH, NO HIDEO, WAAAHHH, MICROTRANSACTIONS, WAAAHHHH"
That was the fastest I've ever heard some one talk
Amazing. A fair review
I'm not buying Metal Gear Survive on principle. And though I can't help feeling squeamish knowing friends own it, I'm not gonna hold it against them. Would I prefer Konami never to make another dollar? YES. And I know they probably have when someone plays the game. But I'm not gonna hold it against someone if they ENJOY the experience.
Although watching a bunch of jackwads in a game site comment sections lording on about how Metal Gear fans should just suck it up and not be offended by the game are some of the biggest horrors I've seen.
Ranthony But I never said I was. I said I'd feel squeamish and have some personal issues, as I've never experienced bosses as bad as Konami, where they've been accused of blacklisting employees that leave the company so they can basically never get another job in their market, but I have experienced horrible bosses and abusive relationships before where someone has taken advantage of me, as well as the pettiness with which they've handled the Kojima separation has not endeared them to me any further.
I'm still not going to judge them for enjoying a game experience. I enjoyed the old MGS, and Konami was still Konami back then.
i bought the game, played it for a little over 40 hours now, i like the game, the co-op is pretty darn fun, it would be evne more fun if there were more people so match making didn't take forever, as far i'm concerned, having played other metal gear games casually, it isn't like the story is all that far from any other game, also it's a spin off, but i like how it ties itself to the existing canon convincingly, given the universe of metal gear, if you take that as it stands, suspending your disblief and all that, then the scenario is plenty plausible.
bruh that took exageration to a whole new level (And did you seriously put *exhales* into your comment) Also side note: how the fuck are you gonna tell your readers that your rant is supposed to be funny that's like if a comedian put up a sign that said "laugh" whenever he finished a punch line.
deus vult Again that's your choice. I'm not mad because it's a spin off. I didn't freak out about the PSP game or any of that. Think what you want though
Basically, the game just says ZOMBIES at you for an hour
and the plot was created by an angsty teenager using Clippy.
So true
The Anti Cancer Lmao
Dapper Changeling you say it like it’s a bad thing
4:45 turbo yahtzee mode engaged
Dis gon b good
Huh. Legitimately surprised. Honestly thought Yahtzee would hate it more than Angry Joe. Oh well, one man's trash is another man's slightly less shitty trash :/
vcom741 angry joe is more likely to jump on the bandwagon
Hmm...interesting.
So, what is Yahtzee then? Or any RUclipsr who does this for a living for that matter? All of them are here just for fun? Views don't matter to them?
"Can you not read"?
...I don't see what you mean by this.
I would argue Joe also has a good personality.
vcom741 It’s more likely that Yahtzee judges more on gameplay, he did that for Star Wars Battlefront II as well. Skipped over the fandom and micro transactions.
And that's fair. Every reviewer will have different point of view because of different biases.
Joe grew up on Star Wars and Metal Gear, so he has nostalgia for this games, and hates them being done badly.
Yahtzee on the other hand is always objective, never letting any sort of nostalgia blind him.