He's right when you put most of the effort into the relationship and the person your with doesn't appreciate it. People get tired when they are being taken for granted.
I can tell in his really cares about her. But I can tell I might be wrong that she doesn’t really care . Until she’s more like likes to have her freedom
ladies be careful not to let past hurt mess up a good thing with someone else. this brotha seems like a really good dude that cared about her, but she was distant for whatever reason and lost a good dude.
I always find it interesting when someone dates for 6 years and gets dumped. Then the guy meets someone new and is engaged in a few months. Guys know what they want early on.
@@karenhardie1132 I agree and disagree. Sometimes we grow and find a different path. An ex can show you what you don't want and also what you do want. Its easy to marry after a bad relationship, especially if you felt unappreciated.
@@karenhardie1132 To the first question my answer is that if it is my daughter she should have left. Men don't really leave. No comment to Michelle. The rest is simple because you said it "Everyone is different in what works for them." So it is finding a man that wants the same things as you. The mate a man chooses is a reflection of him. Once I take a look at my reflection and don't see the qualities🙅🏽♂️. People are taking away the polarity in the relationship and expect the same results. Anything with two heads is a monster. Kids are now more important than being married. Most households need two incomes. Being Independent is not the Goal or even a high achievement, its just being an adult🤷🏾♂️. To be interdependent is a checkmate!
She might, but she failed to show that to him & didn't care while they wer still together. Pushed him away, someone pls tell me if U would stay in a relationship like that wer U give the Ur best to this person & the just don't give a s**?.
...ppl quick to tell someone else to "just move on" or "just get over it"...love don't work like that...takes time to get over an emotion as permanent as love.
How many times do you have to hear that, love doesn't hurt. She doesn't look as if she loved him. She looked as if she just wasn't done with the relationship.
He is a keeper. I know she's regretting, but there's more like him out there. Just remember... when you have him, hold on tight by showing him lots of love and gratitude.
This "closure" thing, it's only an attempt to hang onto what it's lost. He didn't want you, she didn't want you, LET IT GO. I don't need closure from anyone. If they leave that means they think they could do better, so can I. I forget about them, move on and get on with my life. The guy is cute, but cute does not a husband make, she needs to work on herself. Women are always obsessing over marriage as if a man validates their existence. Work on your personal development, then when you meet someone that's well-suited to you, you're ready. Making you happy is way too much responsibility for a man to have.
+ladynottingham89 thank you this is my former class mate and i totally agree with this i watched the episode thinking to myself, why do you need closure if you know he left because of your own actions. I felt she wanted to see him again to see if the flame cold be re-ignited
That is so true…and she fumbled the ball with him..like girl u had him..talk dark handsome well spoken sexy and he showed u real love in the relationship and u messed it up!..yea she’s going to need a therapist after that one..lol
Closure means your not over it. When a relationship is done it’s done. If someone is ignoring you or mistreating you or using you then you know they don’t care about you.
The guy was honest with this lady and eloquently expressed what went wrong. I wished this attitude will be copied in many other relationships, where both parties need closure. All ladies and gentlemen please take serious note.
Cynthia Dickerson Did he ever say he was having sex with another woman? news flash. People heal. Relationships like that people usually take the damage during the relationship and she is and she is just realizing this all now.
pamela creel if she learns to treat them right and not take advantage, she totally will get an amazing man, but she's still holding onto the pain of the breakup from 4 years later
Why is it that when women make comments like this it's clear their only thinking about themselves? " She won't have a problem finding a man that will love her and treat her like a queen" ? Tf is she doing while this going on ? That's literally how she lost this guy ? That's called selfishness. Now I'm holding on to a thread that woman bw especially at least know of the concept of reciprocity but the more Statements I see online like this one y'all make it tough on my faith in yall. Also I wish y'all would stop equating how someone looks to their ability to have fruitful relationships? We better than that it's way too many bad examples to be leading with something so fickle !
It's because there is no such thing as "just because". Everything human beings do is with reason and knowing that reason can often help a person understand themselves better, learn and improve on issues that were the cause of a failed relationship. In my opinion, the worst thing you can ever do is just accept your own assumption in your head as to why someone doesn't like you anymore. If you aren't getting the answer from their mouth then what you assume is more often than not, wrong. Overall, it's good to learn why because everything the human race is and have achieved to this point all started with one question. Why?
MagicLM I understand that to a certain point...like wanting to know the answers to life's more existential questions. "Who am I?". "What is my purpose?" But why you know longer love and/or accept me falls way down there on the totem pole...for me anyway. Besides, most of the time, the answer is obvious...you just won't accept it.
I love what he said. "Appreciate the ones that are alive that are in your prescence, because when they are gone they are gone. That goes for even your family members. I hope for him the best. He is a handsome young black man.
Everyone usually wants that closure but the thing of it is is that when someone does not want you that is the answer the closure period.... give it up and walk away and find who does want you.
Sadly a lot of us had that one person who’d do anything for us but we took them for granted and wanted something more challenging...and when we got out there we realized the person who loved us the most was a gem...it’s usually too late though, can’t go back. Life has kept going while you were out there looking for something else. That person has moved on and feelings just not the same🤷🏽♀️
I can not remember a time in my life that I ever looked for closure from a man and please don't confuse it with me not ever being hurt in life. I just dragged my lil tail between my legs and moved on WITHOUT any so called CLOSURE , I think closure is just nonsense (for me that is ) it doesn't make sense to me and I don't think it would make me feel any better. I can always tell when things are going south because I shut down (in my spirit) and I am no longer interested in that person just waiting for it to manifest (or come to an end) in the natural, I always take breaks after a break up to spend time with me & to refresh myself
Man I’m saying that broke my heart for her. I’ve been there & it doesn’t feel good at all when a man you love says he no longer loves you or loves someone else etc. I pray she can move forward with her life and focus on herself and her growth. God will send the one at the right time but she should definitely learn from the experience and not take anything negative into her next relationship. ❤️
@@Gumxh I never said it wasn’t her fault. It very well could have been her fault. Nobody is perfect though & we all make mistakes. A lot of us do things we regret in the long run. As long she learns from those mistakes, etc. and grows in the process. I can relate to the hurt though she must have felt when he said that (been there). However, I wish the best for both of them.
What I love the most about this other than the respectfulness and truth. Steve also showed that after you talk about the difficult things you should still be able to find a way to tone it down , laughter together etc.
"You can't drive your car looking in the rearview mirror."- words I live by! Looking backwards keeps you from seeing what's in front of you. Looking forward helped me to see and appreciate all the wonderful beings that are in store for me. It's wonderful! :-)
4 years..... Lord the soul ties!! Only way to move on is to accept where you were wrong and know and understand you don't get the chance to do better with that person. Be better for the next person. Men have feelings too!
Sow The Seed 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 because most women will not admit their own doings so when that man speaks get tf out of the way!! I’ve always said once you put YOURSELF into that bucket I can care less of how much water drowns you
GHustle4 most women aren't told men have feelings.... We're told and trained that men just want sex and as many women as possible. And one day when he's older a wife. The only way to understand otherwise is to have men in your life .... and also without trying to check off a list men have to match. As if every man's only purpose is to mate with, have children and get married.
Sow The Seed you are correct!! Women in this era are literally told what to do via social media and along with moms who are in horrible relationships I’ve had to deal with it the last four years. Where the mom is jealous of the daughter it’s sad in the black community and I love black women only but the way society has set it up I just drop my face it’s sad out here they are far in between
Never seek closure from anyone, ever!!! That’s a form of seeking validation, which you do not need. If someone walks out of your life, LET THEM, and catalogue them as part of the PAST, and keep it moving, to bigger and better things!!!
Sometimes people realize, after playing over a good person, that they were actually the best thing they had going. They play around and tag the person along because they think they have time. She just cane to her senses too late. She should have done that a long time ago. Some people just hate losing.
Steve is trifling for that “ NIIIIIIIIIICE rear view mirror ! That boy NIIIIIIICE “ thanks Steve, she’s already crumbling inside trying to get backstage to cry 😬🙁
Yeah that wasn't the time to be silly. It was like he was taking sides without knowing the entire story. That had to make his guest feel worst for no good reason.
Bringing her out there like that was the joke. He's vicariously living through that young dude's "victory". I've always believed that Steve tries to pretend that he's left his "playa mentality" behind. This is exhibit A that it's still in full effect.
Appreciate appreciate APPRECIATE the graciousness of a friendship and a relationship because one day your not going to have that👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 that man is right! That’s why everyone around will always know how much I love and appreciates them.
That man is fine. She messed up.....but anywhoo.... I feel embarrassed FOR her. Never ever give a man THAT much power talmbout some "what could I have done?"!!! It looks so desperate...especially since its been four years. Girl!!! Pick ya pride up off the floor and keep it moving damn it!!!
that why most American blk women are bitter af cuz y'all pride prevents y'all from bettering yourselves and then y'all get mad at men like we the problem smh
Kimari You should feel embarrassed for her. Why? It takes courage to go on national television and show this much vulnerability. She's asking because those questions have obviously been linger for a min cuz she had strong feelings for him. Its easy for you to say what you wouldve done given you werent in her shoes
Once you get to know and understand self love, then u will no longer look for closure. Because u start to respect yourself and other people decisions. That when someone doesn’t respond to your messages, don’t call you back, that they are not interested. I totally understand where she was coming from, but life is all about learning. Wishing her love. 💕
We usually LIE about why the relationship ended just to get away from the psycho witch as fast as we can and hopefully not have her come looking to smash up our cars.
Men can't be honest with women. If Steve Harvey was really honest with you all he would be out of a job. When men have a problem we're primarily looking for a solution but when a woman has a problem she is primarily looking for comfort from the issue.
What stupid thoughts you have. Do you know how trouble a man face while deciding to breakup. He too emotional, but finally he have settle with best one, he have live his life.
I hate to be a Debbie downer butttt I have never had a man appreciate anything good. When I treat a man like a king they get cocky and arrogant....like they got you where they want you. The effort stops on their end and they get lazy! so you are damned if you do and damned if you dont...and a mans version of effort is different.
I think the problem happens when people move too fast and start doing too much for a person who havent earned it yet. I notice most of the time thats a reason people start treating the person bad is because they know they can get over on that nice person who gave soo much with no effort on their end.
What do u mean u disagree.. She was speaking of her personal experiences. It's nothing to disagree with. I've had those same experiences. Some men are just JERKS. Some aren't.
So I remember feeling as though I needed closure once. I obsessed about it I thought about what I would say etc etc and at the end of the day I think I just wanted to insert myself back into their lives again to see if we could get it right. I never asked the questions I planned to I was just happy to be in his presence that I couldnt dare bore him with old stuff. Well it wasn't long 2-3 weeks maybe before I realized what I already knew and that he was my ex for a reason. I have never nor will I ever need closure from anyone ever again.
If there is one thing that I have realized its that there can be a number of factors that contribute to unresolved issues and open wounds with exes. In therapy, getting feedback from exes regarding what went wrong(and this goes for men and women) helps you both to properly assess how to move forward and engage in new relationships when asked "what went wrong in your last relationship?" When you can honestly say, you know what? I had a discussion with my ex about what went wrong and this is what he/she said. What I learned from my reflection and that feedback that they gave me was this..... The things I want to change is this........ My approach to new relationships now will be........ When I heard him say that I was closed off I realized...... (that I have issues with trust, unresolved trauma, don't know how to communicate my deeper feelings/emotions etc)
Without listening to learning from feedback we will continue to go into the same types of relationships and we will continue to make the same types of mistakes (whether that be communication, control issues, trust, inability to remain open, honesty etc)
No she hasn't and what goes around comes around what does her looks have to do with anything aint no running from accountability she gotta feel the pain
she won't find another guy as good as him. she'll find guys that look better & make more money, but they'll all string her along & she'll pine for a guy that actually appreciates her & wants to take her serious. thats what will happen.
They both still love each other but her unappreciative efforts towards him forced him to go... The tears in his eyes that he holding back proves just that, cause he mention marriage too... He wanted her to be his wife but she couldn't get outta her own way... He loves her still and will always love her by the look on his face, but he had to leave in order to receive the capacity of love that he puts out... She was trying hard not to cry or get teary eyed... They so cute too...I loved his honesty...
maybe she had Trust issues, sometimes you don't see or understand your own issues. had she realized that was an issue then she could have worked on it. I hope she heals from what the issues she had. no one is perfect, but she is beautuful, she will learn and she will be a better person!
Thank you- there are so many men women too but men especially in the comments painting a narrative that she Consciously made a decision to be a neglectful partner. As if being emotionally unavailable is a choice. Baby girl needed therapy not another relationship.
I hope she doses not waste anymore time thinking about him. I hope that she can just move on with her life and start having some fun. I hope that she can find her joy and focus on her gifts, and achieve her goals in this universe. When someone shows you and tells you...that they no longer love you. Cut your loses, toss the memories and move on. Surely, he can't be the only person in this entire planet that can offer love to her.
Emotional upheaval (for either party) of unresolved issues from a past relationship causes issues down the line. Its better to identify those issues, address them and resolve them so that they both can move forward in the healthiest way possible
He handled that like an intelligent, grown man and I do hope he continues to do just that. Because some young men let this type of thing go to their heads and try to go back to dip in an already closed situation while with the new relationship.
This man said LITERALLY EVERYTHING that drove me away from the last woman I was with. THE EXACT SAME THINGS!! She was closed off, she didn’t appreciate ANYTHING, she stopped putting in effort (couldn’t even say hello back to me one day), as I tried to come towards her she kept stepping back, and then I finally lost it and took the engagement ring off to get her to wake up and realize she was losing me, but… she didn’t care. Nothing changed. She lost a damn good man and then within a week went back to her abusive ex. Hey, if that’s what you think love is, by all means, have at it.
You're magnificent, and your smile is a glorious warm light ! May you find someone that treats you well, and succeeds in making you want to open up to him ❤
@@RobParksJr I am just now realizing that you might have read a different comment because nowhere am I saying that people should go around disrespecting eachother. Whatever upset you, I hope you're feeling better. But what I said was what I meant. You can disagree, but I don't need you to put words in my mouth...
Lord I feel for you girl..I know how you feel. I held on to what I lost with someone I took for granted. I was young and in college..All I wanted was my honours degree to better my life and make my family proud.. In the words of Demi Lovato "I wasn't ready for him". When I was, he was gone. I clinged onto the hope of an "us" again even when I knew he had a girlfriend. When I was ready to let go, he wasn't ready for me to. A series of events happened after and we both have had enough and let it go for good. He is about his business and living his life and so am I. I believe everything happens for a reason. Some people you were just meant to date for a period of time ladies, they were simply never you forever!!!!
What an intelligent and well spoken young man, who clearly tried at every level to spell out what she was doing wrong in the relationship WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING, and bless him for taking the time to explain it to her AGAIN 4 years later on national T.V. This man is not only intelligent, patient and most importantly WISE. To identify the fact that you have been telling the person you are with for that long, and they choose not to change for the better... And as for the clearly clueless woman... don't worry there are plenty others like you, you will have lots of female company when you are old and lonely.
I feel her now I regret so many things that I could’ve said but like at that I would have rather did anything else then tell them how I actually felt I just shut down or either zoned out and don’t remember anything do to it being to painful and just smiling and wanting to hold his hand for me it’s the dreams and the nightmares I had of him and still do it’s the failed relationships and not actually grieving of the break up now crying randomly and just thinking of them all day it was my fault and I understand that and I feel stupid well aware he could be in a relationship with our old coworker
He wasn't the one for her, period! When a man really loves you and wants to be with you, he'll have these talks with you during the relationship and try to work through it. When I was friends/kind of dating my now husband, I always politely pushed him away and begged him to see other people, yet he kept coming for me. I'm no more special or better than any other woman. It was just that he knew we were meant for each other. Men usually recognize this first. Prior to meeting my husband, I dated a guy before and loved him. He walked out over something I considered to be no big deal (story too long, I'll make a video of it). I begged him to stay, but he didn't. At the end of the day, if a man really loves you and wants to be with you, he'll ALWAYS find a way to make it work. The guy in this video was never truly invested in that relationship. Never beg a man to stay once he decides to leave (lesson learned for me). Know your worth, ladies!
Inspiration Station there is a thing called burning bridges, this has nothing to do with knowing our worth, this has everything to do with appreciation, he told her straight up, she didn't appreciate him, and that's the #1 way to burn bridges with someone with a good heart, robots run off of a battery, humans run off of fatigue, and we get tired & worn out, that's what happened, can you imagine how he felt? Trying and trying without feeling appreciated? Giving her the emotional fill and not getting it back? Man no one is gonna waste their golden years on one person doing them like that, I don't care... I hope she learned from it and moved on and treats the next one with appreciation, and I hope he finds someone to appreciate him... you know? It's never one sided!
Sam M ---It's called learning a valuable lesson, improving ourselves, and yes, knowing our worth. We'll just have to agree to disagree. And, btw, only those two know the full story. I'm sure he wasn't perfect in the relationship, either.
Inspiration Station true! Absolutely right and sorry to say it wasn't about knowing our worth, I just kind of disagreed with you because it felt like you weren't looking at it from his point of view too... so I apologize
Damn! Handsome and looks and seems like a good black man! Sometimes, women, we think we can treat somebody the way we want to and they arent going anywhere....and therefore they will come to terms with our terms on our time! That's the wrong mind set! This chick? Boom! He's gone...learn the lesson young lady, hop up and keep going....I've made the same mistake in a different situation and did get a chance to apologize but it was some 15 years too late....thank God for a second chance though! God has blessed! He will do the same for you! :)))
Very accountable, i commend you for that. Most women wont comment or like this cuz it forces them to look at themselves. We all have to hold ourselves accountable in the game of love. Blessings to you
Hello .....could you please repost or say that again ....it might be some women out there that didn't hear that .....actually put it in audio and sign language that way no one is left out I don't discriminate ....thanks
I’m not sure if she heard the same thing we did; but he was clear and respectfully told her the truth in simple terms. It’s time to move forward young lady.
Sadly some of us tend to get comfortable and think we already got that person they aint goin no where, till one day they do. Appreciate who you got. P.S dont blame the new girl, this one had a part in a relationship that she didnt do care to play in. 100/100+work = 👍relationship.
I think Steve enjoyed telling her that. His daughter now is dating Future after Diddy. People have pain in deep places and to understand a person from their point of view would really bring healing. Some people close off love because they don't know what love means....we all have a love language.. I think there was more to this lady... she will find love, but first really love yourself.
She had intimacy issues. Most of the time it stems from low self esteem. When she acknowledges why she is insecure she will be free. If she doesn't all her relationships will suffer in some way.
Lost a good man too it’s been less than a year and it’s still hurts a lot but I can’t do anything about it now just trying to figure how to stop loving a person really fast so it won’t hurt anymore
He's right when you put most of the effort into the relationship and the person your with doesn't appreciate it. People get tired when they are being taken for granted.
Absolutely time to move on🙏🥰😍😇
👌🏽
Preach!
I can tell in his really cares about her. But I can tell I might be wrong that she doesn’t really care . Until she’s more like likes to have her freedom
Exactly
Sometimes closure isn't needed. It's usually a person's way of trying to insert themselves back into someone's life. Just move on.
Exactly
I'm learning this so true
That's True😃
Ikr!
True
I have to give her mad respect for not getting defensive and denying and blaming like nearly everyone does.
ladies be careful not to let past hurt mess up a good thing with someone else. this brotha seems like a really good dude that cared about her, but she was distant for whatever reason and lost a good dude.
K Dot Dot Exactly
K Dot Dot she mess up, that was a good man.. Dam
I really have to second you on that! What a shame!
So right we don't have to put up with that crazyness she be ok she needs time to heal she be a better at but she is fine tho
The Auditor Looks don’t equate to balance & nurturing.
Don't let them tell you twice they don't want you. MOVE ON.
Amen
It’s her fault how about change your ways. She pushed a good man away
I always find it interesting when someone dates for 6 years and gets dumped. Then the guy meets someone new and is engaged in a few months. Guys know what they want early on.
@@karenhardie1132 I agree and disagree. Sometimes we grow and find a different path. An ex can show you what you don't want and also what you do want. Its easy to marry after a bad relationship, especially if you felt unappreciated.
@@karenhardie1132 To the first question my answer is that if it is my daughter she should have left. Men don't really leave. No comment to Michelle. The rest is simple because you said it "Everyone is different in what works for them." So it is finding a man that wants the same things as you. The mate a man chooses is a reflection of him. Once I take a look at my reflection and don't see the qualities🙅🏽♂️. People are taking away the polarity in the relationship and expect the same results. Anything with two heads is a monster. Kids are now more important than being married. Most households need two incomes. Being Independent is not the Goal or even a high achievement, its just being an adult🤷🏾♂️. To be interdependent is a checkmate!
all she heard was he has a girlfriend that he loves to death.
MO 😭😂
😝😝😝😝😝 thats all I hear too
MO Right!!! Ouch!!! :(
Dang ...i mean that's all i heard too and i felt hurt...and i dont even know the man lol
Cynthia Dickerson the logic of women. It's always a man's fault especially for black men.
I can tell she still loves him.....
ILUVVPHONEZZ94 Yes she does
ILUVVPHONEZZ94 maybe she is just hurt. Some people don’t take rejection well and mistake it to love.
Jedidja B Its both
actually its both
She might, but she failed to show that to him & didn't care while they wer still together. Pushed him away, someone pls tell me if U would stay in a relationship like that wer U give the Ur best to this person & the just don't give a s**?.
It's so much easier to move on from a woman when you know you did your best and you wasn't valued and appreciated.
Billy Cole moving on from a no good ass man too feels good
When women try to "move on" we get a bullet in the head! Just happened last week. SMH
Facts
🤣 I knew someone was gonna have that comeback
@@YoshiXO looks like sb hurt u 💀🤣🤣
The woman who yelled out "that's right!" Is petty lmao
mercedes lexi 😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
As hell
mercedes lexi I feel like that was probably his girlfriend 😂
Erica Washington 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sometimes, having no closure is already the closure.
Amen!
True 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
...ppl quick to tell someone else to "just move on" or "just get over it"...love don't work like that...takes time to get over an emotion as permanent as love.
Thank you for saying that. I agree wholeheartedly.
Me Too
ELAW RightOn Right
Agreed but ultimately it has to be done. To move on with your life...
How many times do you have to hear that, love doesn't hurt. She doesn't look as if she loved him. She looked as if she just wasn't done with the relationship.
He is a keeper. I know she's regretting, but there's more like him out there. Just remember... when you have him, hold on tight by showing him lots of love and gratitude.
She's racing full speed towards the wall.
True. Sadly there are many like him out there but aren't given attention
This "closure" thing, it's only an attempt to hang onto what it's lost. He didn't want you, she didn't want you, LET IT GO. I don't need closure from anyone. If they leave that means they think they could do better, so can I. I forget about them, move on and get on with my life. The guy is cute, but cute does not a husband make, she needs to work on herself. Women are always obsessing over marriage as if a man validates their existence. Work on your personal development, then when you meet someone that's well-suited to you, you're ready. Making you happy is way too much responsibility for a man to have.
+ladynottingham89 Very well stated! And your absolutely right.
Great statement. .had to realize this myself
+ladynottingham89 thank you this is my former class mate and i totally agree with this i watched the episode thinking to myself, why do you need closure if you know he left because of your own actions. I felt she wanted to see him again to see if the flame cold be re-ignited
On point!
Tell these beautiful woman, out here again they don't hear you ya mean!!!
Nothing hurts a woman like losing a good man because of her own behavior.
As a woman i must agree 💯
True for us guys too sheeeit
That is so true…and she fumbled the ball with him..like girl u had him..talk dark handsome well spoken sexy and he showed u real love in the relationship and u messed it up!..yea she’s going to need a therapist after that one..lol
@@champagnes5898 facts 😂
@@champagnes5898it's not therapy she needs God
Steve uses his comic abilities to light up gloomy situations. He did it on this again 🙌🏾
Closure means your not over it. When a relationship is done it’s done. If someone is ignoring you or mistreating you or using you then you know they don’t care about you.
He cleary was the victim & he moved on because he knew his worth she Cleary didn't value him till he moved on & that's why she still stuck on him.
The victim?
@@niceyh.2529I'm asking myself the same question. How in the hell was he the victim?
Exactly
She should suck it up and move on
M C yep yep yep
The guy was honest with this lady and eloquently expressed what went wrong. I wished this attitude will be copied in many other relationships, where both parties need closure. All ladies and gentlemen please take serious note.
Now he spoke the real truth and so respectful... I admire this young man!
He is so chocolate & handsome!!
Nicole Allen that's why she needed closure from him💀
I'd be crying too if I were her
Nicole Allen he looks alright.
Cynthia Dickerson Oh okay
Cynthia Dickerson Did he ever say he was having sex with another woman? news flash. People heal. Relationships like that people usually take the damage during the relationship and she is and she is just realizing this all now.
He is indeed handsome.
Yeah Steve is pretty fine😂 your man is cute and your woman is beautiful
Boalis Champignon But Most& Important: HONEST!!!
Mia Jolie 😭😱😨 WHAT??? YOU SOUND STUPID! YOU CAN'T COMPARE A WOMAN TO A MAN WHEN IT COMES TO LOOKS! IT'S THE HEART THAT COUNTS! GO FIGURE! 😏
Ikr my heart probably would've been broken just because of his handsomeness 💀
Steph E. 😄😅😭
Seek God for closure. God has no loop holes. Period. End of story.
Shika Palmer Say that!
Cynthia Dickerson i was just sayin based off of their situation and already made choices....
Shika Palmer yeeeeessss! say it again!!!!
Meh
WRONG. HE DOES HAVE LOOP HOLES.
They’re both so young. She’ll bounce back. This is a part of life. Keep it moving sis.
Finally an episode where these women can be held accountable for their actions I’m proud of you Steve keep them coming
Lol have you read the comments ? They still bashing the guy
Instead of focusing on closure....move on and focus on healing. Reflect back and forgive yourself and the other person. Don't dwell on it .....
Wow! He seems very respectful the way he started off uplifting her and considering her feelings before he answered.Thoughtful.
She's A Dolly ♡
She won't have ANY problem finding a Man who will love her and treat her like a queen.
pamela creel if she learns to treat them right and not take advantage, she totally will get an amazing man, but she's still holding onto the pain of the breakup from 4 years later
She knew he was a good man
No he won't if she's the same girl they confirmed right here. If she changes she will be loved. If not, she'll be alone forever
Why is it that when women make comments like this it's clear their only thinking about themselves? " She won't have a problem finding a man that will love her and treat her like a queen" ? Tf is she doing while this going on ? That's literally how she lost this guy ? That's called selfishness. Now I'm holding on to a thread that woman bw especially at least know of the concept of reciprocity but the more Statements I see online like this one y'all make it tough on my faith in yall. Also I wish y'all would stop equating how someone looks to their ability to have fruitful relationships? We better than that it's way too many bad examples to be leading with something so fickle !
She is beautiful!!!!!!
Yes she is!
He Simms average
I absolutely love her dress!!! 😍😍😍😍😍 she's a cutie she'll bounce back
Thank you so much!!! 😊
+La'Keshia Carter your beautiful Hunz❤️
+BeatFace_ Brilliaance thank you!!
+La'Keshia Carter you're welcome
+Ocean Bias It is a cute dress but she makes it look good. I doubt it would look that good on most of us! :)
Ladies, why do you need to know the REASON a guy doesn't want you anymore? Just accept the obvious answer: he doesn't want you and BE DONE.
OK...cuz ur ummmm...bye!
It's because there is no such thing as "just because". Everything human beings do is with reason and knowing that reason can often help a person understand themselves better, learn and improve on issues that were the cause of a failed relationship.
In my opinion, the worst thing you can ever do is just accept your own assumption in your head as to why someone doesn't like you anymore. If you aren't getting the answer from their mouth then what you assume is more often than not, wrong.
Overall, it's good to learn why because everything the human race is and have achieved to this point all started with one question.
Why?
MagicLM
I understand that to a certain point...like wanting to know the answers to life's more existential questions. "Who am I?". "What is my purpose?"
But why you know longer love and/or accept me falls way down there on the totem pole...for me anyway.
Besides, most of the time, the answer is obvious...you just won't accept it.
Yeah, I use to drive myself crazy trying to wonder why a relationship ended. These days, I could care less and just move on.
Donna Shinall Sometimes, it isn't that easy..
That! Finally a guy to say why they made decisions
I love what he said. "Appreciate the ones that are alive that are in your prescence, because when they are gone they are gone. That goes for even your family members. I hope for him the best. He is a handsome young black man.
Everyone usually wants that closure but the thing of it is is that when someone does not want you that is the answer the closure period.... give it up and walk away and find who does want you.
Sadly a lot of us had that one person who’d do anything for us but we took them for granted and wanted something more challenging...and when we got out there we realized the person who loved us the most was a gem...it’s usually too late though, can’t go back. Life has kept going while you were out there looking for something else. That person has moved on and feelings just not the same🤷🏽♀️
Not everybody !!!
@@roselove5264" alot of us" you don't understand English?
I can not remember a time in my life that I ever looked for closure from a man and please don't confuse it with me not ever being hurt in life. I just dragged my lil tail between my legs and moved on WITHOUT any so called CLOSURE , I think closure is just nonsense (for me that is ) it doesn't make sense to me and I don't think it would make me feel any better. I can always tell when things are going south because I shut down (in my spirit) and I am no longer interested in that person just waiting for it to manifest (or come to an end) in the natural, I always take breaks after a break up to spend time with me & to refresh myself
yogi B Yes. Closure is an illusion.
That's true. I also shut down. And walk away. That's the smartest way to give yourself closure.
When he said he has a girlfriend and he loves her to death, I felt this lady's pain.
Frl
Man I’m saying that broke my heart for her. I’ve been there & it doesn’t feel good at all when a man you love says he no longer loves you or loves someone else etc. I pray she can move forward with her life and focus on herself and her growth. God will send the one at the right time but she should definitely learn from the experience and not take anything negative into her next relationship. ❤️
I have been there and that hurts like crazy.
@@yasminegooden9834 gotta remember it is her fault so
@@Gumxh I never said it wasn’t her fault. It very well could have been her fault. Nobody is perfect though & we all make mistakes. A lot of us do things we regret in the long run. As long she learns from those mistakes, etc. and grows in the process. I can relate to the hurt though she must have felt when he said that (been there). However, I wish the best for both of them.
What I love the most about this other than the respectfulness and truth. Steve also showed that after you talk about the difficult things you should still be able to find a way to tone it down , laughter together etc.
"You can't drive your car looking in the rearview mirror."- words I live by! Looking backwards keeps you from seeing what's in front of you. Looking forward helped me to see and appreciate all the wonderful beings that are in store for me. It's wonderful! :-)
"That's Right "
That was his girlfriend in the Audience lol
bikerchic650 LOL I said the same thing.
She is beautiful! She’ll have a King in no time! Probably already got one by now since im late🤷🏽♀️
i hope so too. The question is, was she able to keep him.
Not evrn a clown would marry her .. maybe beautiful on the outside.. not healthy inside and until she fixes that not a chance
She’s happily engaged now.
4 years..... Lord the soul ties!! Only way to move on is to accept where you were wrong and know and understand you don't get the chance to do better with that person. Be better for the next person. Men have feelings too!
Sow The Seed 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 because most women will not admit their own doings so when that man speaks get tf out of the way!! I’ve always said once you put YOURSELF into that bucket I can care less of how much water drowns you
GHustle4 most women aren't told
men have feelings.... We're told and trained that men just want sex and as many women as possible. And one day when he's older a wife. The only way to understand otherwise is to have men in your life .... and also without trying to check off a list men have to match. As if every man's only purpose is to mate with, have children and get married.
Sow The Seed you are correct!! Women in this era are literally told what to do via social media and along with moms who are in horrible relationships I’ve had to deal with it the last four years. Where the mom is jealous of the daughter it’s sad in the black community and I love black women only but the way society has set it up I just drop my face it’s sad out here they are far in between
We all have intuition. It's not gender specific. It's called the Holy Spirit.
Shika Palmer that’s right
Everybody does not have the Holy Spirit. You must be born again to receive it. 🙏🏾
Here we go🙄🙄
rob504able i swearrr
Not all.
Never seek closure from anyone, ever!!!
That’s a form of seeking validation, which you do not need.
If someone walks out of your life, LET THEM, and catalogue them as part of the PAST, and keep it moving, to bigger and better things!!!
Sometimes people realize, after playing over a good person, that they were actually the best thing they had going. They play around and tag the person along because they think they have time. She just cane to her senses too late. She should have done that a long time ago. Some people just hate losing.
What beautiful people inside and out.Love her humility and his bravery in being honest.
Both good looking, both seem smart. I feel for her but she'll find someone else.
All i can think of is the beautiful American kids they would have😍😍😍
eri g got damn you're BEAUTIFUL
Feel what for her its her fault
@@chrisper3148 oh boy
@@yudahel8521 you are so right! that got me
Damn, she's beautiful. Love the natural.
That’s a mature man. He told her what she needed to hear to be better to the next person. Respect
Steve is trifling for that “ NIIIIIIIIIICE rear view mirror ! That boy NIIIIIIICE “ thanks Steve, she’s already crumbling inside trying to get backstage to cry 😬🙁
Yeah that wasn't the time to be silly. It was like he was taking sides without knowing the entire story. That had to make his guest feel worst for no good reason.
Bringing her out there like that was the joke. He's vicariously living through that young dude's "victory". I've always believed that Steve tries to pretend that he's left his "playa mentality" behind. This is exhibit A that it's still in full effect.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s okay. She probably found someone by now.
Steve was definitely wrong for that.
Appreciate appreciate APPRECIATE the graciousness of a friendship and a relationship because one day your not going to have that👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 that man is right! That’s why everyone around will always know how much I love and appreciates them.
Glad to see a man speak up for himself... can see he was hurt too .. good for him moving on.
“Cuteness” Doesn’t Beat Respect. Who Cares How Attractive Someone Is When They Are Unappreciative. Good Job To The Man For Knowing His Worth.
Facts 💯
I am so glad that he laid out simply what me felt. And she listened. 😊🙌🏼
She just has to take what she her and decide what direction she going to go . 1. Take time to heal. 2. Look for someone else 3. Learn the lesson.
That man is fine. She messed up.....but anywhoo.... I feel embarrassed FOR her. Never ever give a man THAT much power talmbout some "what could I have done?"!!! It looks so desperate...especially since its been four years. Girl!!! Pick ya pride up off the floor and keep it moving damn it!!!
that why most American blk women are bitter af cuz y'all pride prevents y'all from bettering yourselves and then y'all get mad at men like we the problem smh
Kimari You should feel embarrassed for her. Why? It takes courage to go on national television and show this much vulnerability. She's asking because those questions have obviously been linger for a min cuz she had strong feelings for him. Its easy for you to say what you wouldve done given you werent in her shoes
Yessss!
Relationships are give & take she didn't understand that THEN...So it was honestly a question to help her understand herself better.
Kimari C. .
What this man said was PERFECT. SPOT ON. Take notes from this man. This is the truth. Men and Women…REMEMBER THIS.
He’s a very good looking young man and he’s right you gotta appreciate the people in your life
But she smiled. She's beautiful and so is he. Beautiful ppl inside and out I can tell. Prayer changes alot
Once you get to know and understand self love, then u will no longer look for closure. Because u start to respect yourself and other people decisions. That when someone doesn’t respond to your messages, don’t call you back, that they are not interested. I totally understand where she was coming from, but life is all about learning. Wishing her love. 💕
That was/is TRUTH. That young man was raised right. I applaud your parents.
That’s a king knowing his worth 👑
usually the guy is not as honest as this one had to be but she probably didn't want to hear it regardless
We usually LIE about why the relationship ended just to get away from the psycho witch as fast as we can and hopefully not have her come looking to smash up our cars.
2930HONEY who says he was honest she probably catered to him and he wasn't satisfied too busy trying to find his next victim
Men can't be honest with women. If Steve Harvey was really honest with you all he would be out of a job. When men have a problem we're primarily looking for a solution but when a woman has a problem she is primarily looking for comfort from the issue.
What stupid thoughts you have. Do you know how trouble a man face while deciding to breakup. He too emotional, but finally he have settle with best one, he have live his life.
She did it to herself
I hate to be a Debbie downer butttt I have never had a man appreciate anything good. When I treat a man like a king they get cocky and arrogant....like they got you where they want you. The effort stops on their end and they get lazy! so you are damned if you do and damned if you dont...and a mans version of effort is different.
I disagree. A good man will treat you right because he truly cares about you. You've just been dating jerks.
Heart Break Hotel Inc yea that happened with my ex
TRUE
I think the problem happens when people move too fast and start doing too much for a person who havent earned it yet. I notice most of the time thats a reason people start treating the person bad is because they know they can get over on that nice person who gave soo much with no effort on their end.
What do u mean u disagree.. She was speaking of her personal experiences. It's nothing to disagree with. I've had those same experiences. Some men are just JERKS. Some aren't.
God bless this guy for what he said.
So I remember feeling as though I needed closure once. I obsessed about it I thought about what I would say etc etc and at the end of the day I think I just wanted to insert myself back into their lives again to see if we could get it right. I never asked the questions I planned to I was just happy to be in his presence that I couldnt dare bore him with old stuff. Well it wasn't long 2-3 weeks maybe before I realized what I already knew and that he was my ex for a reason. I have never nor will I ever need closure from anyone ever again.
If there is one thing that I have realized its that there can be a number of factors that contribute to unresolved issues and open wounds with exes. In therapy, getting feedback from exes regarding what went wrong(and this goes for men and women) helps you both to properly assess how to move forward and engage in new relationships when asked "what went wrong in your last relationship?" When you can honestly say, you know what? I had a discussion with my ex about what went wrong and this is what he/she said. What I learned from my reflection and that feedback that they gave me was this..... The things I want to change is this........ My approach to new relationships now will be........
When I heard him say that I was closed off I realized......
(that I have issues with trust, unresolved trauma, don't know how to communicate my deeper feelings/emotions etc)
Without listening to learning from feedback we will continue to go into the same types of relationships and we will continue to make the same types of mistakes (whether that be communication, control issues, trust, inability to remain open, honesty etc)
She is gorgeous, and seems like she learned from this she will be fine.
No she hasn't and what goes around comes around what does her looks have to do with anything aint no running from accountability she gotta feel the pain
she won't find another guy as good as him. she'll find guys that look better & make more money, but they'll all string her along & she'll pine for a guy that actually appreciates her & wants to take her serious. thats what will happen.
@@acct4600 how would you know that? Just because YOU haven’t had more than one great love doesn’t mean that’s her fate, stop negatively projecting.
They both still love each other but her unappreciative efforts towards him forced him to go... The tears in his eyes that he holding back proves just that, cause he mention marriage too... He wanted her to be his wife but she couldn't get outta her own way... He loves her still and will always love her by the look on his face, but he had to leave in order to receive the capacity of love that he puts out... She was trying hard not to cry or get teary eyed... They so cute too...I loved his honesty...
maybe she had Trust issues, sometimes you don't see or understand your own issues. had she realized that was an issue then she could have worked on it. I hope she heals from what the issues she had. no one is perfect, but she is beautuful, she will learn and she will be a better person!
Thank you- there are so many men women too but men especially in the comments painting a narrative that she Consciously made a decision to be a neglectful partner. As if being emotionally unavailable is a choice. Baby girl needed therapy not another relationship.
I hope she doses not waste anymore time thinking about him. I hope that she can just move on with her life and start having some fun. I hope that she can find her joy and focus on her gifts, and achieve her goals in this universe. When someone shows you and tells you...that they no longer love you. Cut your loses, toss the memories and move on. Surely, he can't be the only person in this entire planet that can offer love to her.
Sounds like she never loved or appreciated him. And he moved on
@@hotbruthacaa1 yup she acted like she is surprised and all innocent lol
"Surely he can't be the only person to offer her love" ? Ain't sinking in yet huh ?
@@mouacheemeng surprised? Lol they have a chart with emotions and their corresponding facial expressions on it if you’d like to see it
wow this was really deep . hope this helps alot of women.
That guy is gorgeous.
yea very handsome
Oh please. He looks good on National Television. He probably never looked that good when he was with her.
Red Passion he alright. But sounds like a player. Or a thug.
@@Ms9mmBeretta lol..you funny
Normal looking to me ...sorry ..dont mean a thing
Emotional upheaval (for either party) of unresolved issues from a past relationship causes issues down the line. Its better to identify those issues, address them and resolve them so that they both can move forward in the healthiest way possible
He handled that like an intelligent, grown man and I do hope he continues to do just that. Because some young men let this type of thing go to their heads and try to go back to dip in an already closed situation while with the new relationship.
This man said LITERALLY EVERYTHING that drove me away from the last woman I was with. THE EXACT SAME THINGS!! She was closed off, she didn’t appreciate ANYTHING, she stopped putting in effort (couldn’t even say hello back to me one day), as I tried to come towards her she kept stepping back, and then I finally lost it and took the engagement ring off to get her to wake up and realize she was losing me, but… she didn’t care. Nothing changed. She lost a damn good man and then within a week went back to her abusive ex. Hey, if that’s what you think love is, by all means, have at it.
Has she came back apologizing begging for another chance
You're magnificent, and your smile is a glorious warm light ! May you find someone that treats you well, and succeeds in making you want to open up to him ❤
It takes the right man to be respectful, appreciative, loving. Oh 👌
Tell her this instead. Take some time to yourself, seek therapy and heal and learn how to treat people better
@@balthazar8269
I'm confused as to why you're telling me this... This is your message to her, and I believe you don't need me to share it... (:
@@RobParksJr
I am just now realizing that you might have read a different comment because nowhere am I saying that people should go around disrespecting eachother.
Whatever upset you, I hope you're feeling better. But what I said was what I meant. You can disagree, but I don't need you to put words in my mouth...
@@Blullaby well I believe shes much more responsible now. That's all that matters
Lord I feel for you girl..I know how you feel. I held on to what I lost with someone I took for granted. I was young and in college..All I wanted was my honours degree to better my life and make my family proud.. In the words of Demi Lovato "I wasn't ready for him". When I was, he was gone. I clinged onto the hope of an "us" again even when I knew he had a girlfriend. When I was ready to let go, he wasn't ready for me to. A series of events happened after and we both have had enough and let it go for good. He is about his business and living his life and so am I. I believe everything happens for a reason. Some people you were just meant to date for a period of time ladies, they were simply never you forever!!!!
What an intelligent and well spoken young man, who clearly tried at every level to spell out what she was doing wrong in the relationship WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING, and bless him for taking the time to explain it to her AGAIN 4 years later on national T.V. This man is not only intelligent, patient and most importantly WISE. To identify the fact that you have been telling the person you are with for that long, and they choose not to change for the better... And as for the clearly clueless woman... don't worry there are plenty others like you, you will have lots of female company when you are old and lonely.
I understand bc I was her.
+Nicky Johnson dang, guess the lesson is to appreciate a good man when you have it
What i would wanna know is what happened and what have you learnt? bc you are a cute girl so there must be some underlining issue to it.
Nicky Cash me too!
Ms. Nicky
Awwwww
Nicky you took a guy for granted?
I feel her now I regret so many things that I could’ve said but like at that I would have rather did anything else then tell them how I actually felt I just shut down or either zoned out and don’t remember anything do to it being to painful and just smiling and wanting to hold his hand for me it’s the dreams and the nightmares I had of him and still do it’s the failed relationships and not actually grieving of the break up now crying randomly and just thinking of them all day it was my fault and I understand that and I feel stupid well aware he could be in a relationship with our old coworker
He wasn't the one for her, period! When a man really loves you and wants to be with you, he'll have these talks with you during the relationship and try to work through it. When I was friends/kind of dating my now husband, I always politely pushed him away and begged him to see other people, yet he kept coming for me.
I'm no more special or better than any other woman. It was just that he knew we were meant for each other. Men usually recognize this first.
Prior to meeting my husband, I dated a guy before and loved him. He walked out over something I considered to be no big deal (story too long, I'll make a video of it). I begged him to stay, but he didn't.
At the end of the day, if a man really loves you and wants to be with you, he'll ALWAYS find a way to make it work. The guy in this video was never truly invested in that relationship. Never beg a man to stay once he decides to leave (lesson learned for me). Know your worth, ladies!
Yes ma'am!!! So true!
Inspiration Station there is a thing called burning bridges, this has nothing to do with knowing our worth, this has everything to do with appreciation, he told her straight up, she didn't appreciate him, and that's the #1 way to burn bridges with someone with a good heart, robots run off of a battery, humans run off of fatigue, and we get tired & worn out, that's what happened, can you imagine how he felt? Trying and trying without feeling appreciated? Giving her the emotional fill and not getting it back? Man no one is gonna waste their golden years on one person doing them like that, I don't care... I hope she learned from it and moved on and treats the next one with appreciation, and I hope he finds someone to appreciate him... you know? It's never one sided!
Sam M ---It's called learning a valuable lesson, improving ourselves, and yes, knowing our worth. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
And, btw, only those two know the full story. I'm sure he wasn't perfect in the relationship, either.
Inspiration Station true! Absolutely right and sorry to say it wasn't about knowing our worth, I just kind of disagreed with you because it felt like you weren't looking at it from his point of view too... so I apologize
*Inspirational* thank you for your testimony @inspiration station 👏👏👏👏
Damn! Handsome and looks and seems like a good black man! Sometimes, women, we think we can treat somebody the way we want to and they arent going anywhere....and therefore they will come to terms with our terms on our time! That's the wrong mind set! This chick? Boom! He's gone...learn the lesson young lady, hop up and keep going....I've made the same mistake in a different situation and did get a chance to apologize but it was some 15 years too late....thank God for a second chance though! God has blessed! He will do the same for you! :)))
***** ok
Very accountable, i commend you for that. Most women wont comment or like this cuz it forces them to look at themselves. We all have to hold ourselves accountable in the game of love. Blessings to you
Hello .....could you please repost or say that again ....it might be some women out there that didn't hear that .....actually put it in audio and sign language that way no one is left out I don't discriminate ....thanks
Desperate
Sometimes moving on with your life opens the door to great things
#Cinderella 23Queen yuppp
I like this man's honesty. He told it like it is...
Appreciate people, dont push them away( dont take it for granted) Ladies we mess up sometimes too, Wisdom is. Priceless💙💜💙
This is so true...Once the person to leave it's to late. And it's definitely a close door.
Such a beauty.. wow.
I’m not sure if she heard the same thing we did; but he was clear and respectfully told her the truth in simple terms. It’s time to move forward young lady.
Sadly some of us tend to get comfortable and think we already got that person they aint goin no where, till one day they do. Appreciate who you got. P.S dont blame the new girl, this one had a part in a relationship that she didnt do care to play in. 100/100+work = 👍relationship.
The feeling gotta be mutual. That’s y u gotta let go. Heen worth it
Closer is: HE/SHE LEFT!
The End...
Almost happened to me but THANK GOD he came back to me.... i gotta learn to control my attitude
Omg I thought this was going to be about closures for weave 😂😂😂😂
lol
hahahahahaha omg
OMG me too!!!!
OMG me too!!!!
+Kenwood High LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Being honest is the best way young man Thanks you deserve a A+. God Bless you and keep looking Mrs. Right
I think Steve enjoyed telling her that. His daughter now is dating Future after Diddy. People have pain in deep places and to understand a person from their point of view would really bring healing. Some people close off love because they don't know what love means....we all have a love language.. I think there was more to this lady... she will find love, but first really love yourself.
He has pain and you see it in his face I feel bad for him because he had hope but she turned it away so he had to build elsewhere... glad for him
She had intimacy issues. Most of the time it stems from low self esteem. When she acknowledges why she is insecure she will be free. If she doesn't all her relationships will suffer in some way.
Ladies and gentlemen, appreciate the people in your life cuz they have every right to walk away from you
He was a Straight G. Many black women can’t take a man breaking up with them, especially before they have the chance to break up with us.
I love the lady's smile, she's soo cute. Cute Keisha!!
Lost a good man too it’s been less than a year and it’s still hurts a lot but I can’t do anything about it now just trying to figure how to stop loving a person really fast so it won’t hurt anymore
Please for anyone I beg you don’t be like me