I Nearly Gave Up - The Truth About My Past | Roly Diaries
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- I Nearly Gave Up - The Truth About My Past. This is one of the hardest videos I have ever made. Growing up gay in a small town is not easy for anything. However, my past is full of things I have had to deal with over the years and today I want to share some of these with you in hopes it helps you if you're going through something similar. Please be kind.
Twitch ► / rolywest
Instagram ► / rolyungashaa
Twitter ► / rolyungashaa
TikTok ► t.co/geJUHYp60...
Facebook ► / rolyungashaa
My Podcast ► / gagofthemillennial
Pateron ► / rolandwest
My Music ► / rolyungashaa
PayPal Donations ► PayPal.Me/Roly...
Wishlist ► amzn.eu/baEsejq
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Piercing Reaction Videos Playlist
• Roly Reacts
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reacting To Hate Comments
• Body Modification
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Contact Lenses (AD Affiliate links)
Uniqso Lenses ► bit.ly/2x4DoVw
Use the Affiliate code "ROLY" at checkout for 10% off your order!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Last Video "Creative Piercings & Unusual Jewellery | Piercings Gone Right 7" • Creative Piercings & U...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#LifeStory #Memories #Nostalgia
Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy this insight into my past! Please hit like and come follow below
Enjoy isn't the word I would use, but thanks for sharing anyways. Takes me back to group counseling. Even though it's completely different from what I had, I'm still comforted to know I'm not alone. And I hope you know that too, and have plenty of friends who give you the love and support you deserve! Wish I could hug you! 🤗🤗🤗
this video really did give us insight of your past and now we know you on a little deeper level. thanks for telling us! ❤️ you're amazing, we love you
Nothing that caused you fear is a stupid reason to be scared Roly
Wow roly it must have been so hard to talk about all of this and i hope that nothing but positivity will come your way
Thank you Roly for sharing your truth. You are a strong beautiful person with a lot of love from the world.
Roly, I don’t have words for how much I appreciate you in my life - I knew the stories in this video, but watching you retell them in this way was like listening to them for the first time. Heartbreaking. You are an amazing human being, such a huge role model, and you are LOVED! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
100 💯
I'm glad you two have each other, you're both such wonderful people! Please give Roly a big hug from all of us when you next meet him!🤗❤🩹
100% agree
Luxeria, we love you as much as we love Roly. Always stay true friends.
❤️❤️❤️
to the people messaging asking where are your parents etc? wtf makes them think its any of their business?! fair play to you for being strong enough to reveal all, but never feel like you have to speak about anything you dont feel comfortable with. much love xxx
T h i s!!!
100%
Yess! I think it's natural to be curious about other people, but keep certain things to yourself, you know? I hate being asked certain personal questions, so I just don't ask a lot of those kinds of things to others, even if I get curious. I'll just think of it privately but that's it. If that person wants to share, they will and that's that
Exactly!!!
Yes I really wanted to do this video but I agree it’s not any business. But I did want to make this for a while anyway xx
My granddaughter lives with me and it’s not easy. She is 15 and is starting to realise what she missed out on as a child who never had a mum who was present. It’s difficult but I am so glad you had your grandparents looking out for you and taking you in xxx
I am so happy she has you!
@@RolyWestYT I don't understand how - give the chaos that drugs have brought to your life - you now take drugs yourself. (I'm referring to your "teaparty" with Electra in which you both reference "white powder".)
Hi Roly, my husband Donald and I turn 60 this year and we just want to tell you that you are a very strong man who has endured a lot but come out the other side. Your story is so heart wrenching. It was so sad watching you relive those memories. If you need an Australian mum and dad we would be honoured to call you son.
if you can give love and kindness to your direct environment that too would be wonderful. it is so great that you carry so much love for other people in your hearts. i wish lots of love, joy, happiness, health and also self-love to you and your beloved ones
That is truly heartwarming. I wish you and your husband nothing but the best!
Roly I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to go through. You’re such a beautiful light. YOU have helped me through some of the darkest days of my life because of who you are. I don’t know you, but I think you’re an amazing person. You are awesome!
Keep trotting!
Lots of love
In a completely non condescending way, I just want to throw my arms around you. Never forget how many of us love you. You're so strong. You got through this and look at you now. You are amazing.
❤️❤️❤️
Word
Yassss!!
Absolutely agree. Warmest Welsh cwtches ❤️❤️❤️
You are tougher than you will ever believe. A great heart. Being angry, sad and appreciative are okay. You are okay. And yeah, I would get you a big hug, after standing in that long, long line.
There are some modern interpretations that see "Blood is thicker than water" rather as "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". The families we choose and the bonds we create are more important and stronger than random genetics. This has always given me a lot of comfort. Thank you for being brave and vulnerable and open! Lots of love!!!
Love this. It's great when it works out for genetic family to be part of your chosen family, but surrounding yourself with people who truly love you and have your back is what's most important. 💜
I'm glad you said this - I was thinking the same thing. Good to see the full quote. Family is who is there, not (*just*) where you come from. X
That's not a modern interpretation, that's the original saying, "Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." The twisted phrase from that is, "Blood is thicker than water." to mean the opposite of the original saying and used as a way to manipulate people.
Thank you for sharing the reading meaning of this phrase all of you. It helps me out with my own pl situation.
And thank you Roly on what he shared.
Even though my life experiences are very different than what he and so many others have experienced. I cried for him and his childhood self and inner child like I do for others. And the same for me and my childhood self and my inner child. Currently iam going thru another though time again . And all the pain and stuff my inner child keep inside for so long even stuff I thought I long ago I thought ago I got out. Has for the past year seemly being let out and even though it's been hard it's been healing for me too.
I don't mean to dump or sound to dreary.
It's just I think for me to keep getting healthier and better and to keep growing as a person. I have to let these things out ,process them and heal. So iam just in a process of being very kind to my self and taking care of my self and doing alot of self care. And I want to be there for others to who need a friend and some to tell them true pistive good things and wish them true positive good things and wishes and vibes andetc every day and there is light at the end of the tunnel and in it too.
Just thanks everyone for just reading my ramblings lol
And good true postive things to everyone everywhere 😎👍🕊
When I hear 'blood is thicker than water used to justify enabling biological relatives being vile, I want to reply "yeah, well, shit is thicker than blood"
I can’t explain the feeling I feel listening to this. It’s not just a sadness for little Roly, it’s anger towards all of the adults in your life that didn’t care for you. No one should ever go through this!
You are such a bright light in the community and we are so lucky to have to have you. I’m sorry that you haven’t always been treated as such. 😘💜
Well said. Exactly how I feel too.
I agree one hundred percent he's turned out to be a wonderful person with a heck of a personality and I just love watching his energy
I agree!
You are so right. No child should go through what Roly and others have, it’s heartbreaking
So many selfish adults failed him as a child.
I don’t know how to put it in to words or what to say exactly but I am so proud of you for this, it can’t have been easy. You’re such a bright light and a wonderful person and you deserve nothing but happiness, the strength you have is unbelievable, I live in Exeter as well and the system here is so beyond f*cked you should never have had to go through any of that, as a transmasc in Devon I can definitely relate to the horrors of religious high school and just how terrible social services are. I really do hope you’ve found healing 🖤
Thank you for such a lovely comment! nice to see someone else from there too who actually understands!!
I’m sending all my love. My mom was also an abusive alcoholic and I know well the fear and uncertainty that dominates your life when you’re just a child in this environment. I’m so sorry, but I’m so proud of how you’ve processed and managed your trauma.
I hope everyone knows that no matter what your past is, you are valid, you are worthy of your happiness in your life.
If you need to vent, please use this comment to vent into, I’ll try reply to those with any advice I might have :) ✨🌸
Thank you for being here Roly, you’ve made all of us in the comments lives better 💖
Thank you very much for spreading love and kindness! Have some back:
☮🕊😘🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜💗🤍🖤🤎🏳🌈🏳⚧🤗🕊☮
Well said!
Sending a big hug x
Hi, Roly this is a massive step to speak out! We can all be proud of our paths and our growing up even if it has been a lot!
I'm finally myself, proud trans and got a gf, I'm waiting trial for my abuser (p*do) that I spoke up about last year. That man has assaulted over 10 young ppl girls and boys.
At last karma is picking up! I fought my dad who abused me too.
If anyone is feeling down, please know that you are not alone, you are brave. strong. loved. accepted. and wonderful 🥰🥰 things do get better on the long run and if you don't see the end of the tunnel then I hope you will meet people who will genuinely help you along the way. Even just an advice, a smile, a compliment can go a very long way 😊
You've all got this and things are going to be okay
Stealing was my way of taking control after abuse too. Nobody likes to talk about cleptomania let alone try to understand it. It’s very demonized in society so I really haven’t ever even talked about it until now. Thank you by the way for this kind comment 🤍
If the idea of doing a "Roly Diaries" series of videos sounds therapeutic for you, by all means, go for it ❤️ we love you and we're here for you Roly. Thank you for sharing all of this - it certainly means a lot to me personally and, I'm sure I'm not the only one ❤️
Thank you! I don’t plan on them all being on such heavy topics but happy ones as well so fun things to come with these
No, you're DEFINITELY NOT the only one!! This broke my 💜 listening to this! I didn't think I'd be crying so quickly in!! If you can understand his pain, and others, you've probably had your own s**t and I love how everyone rallies for strangers in the comments like I've had SO MANY do with me in comments I've made over the yrs in other videos! Take care ✌🏻💜 to you!!
EDIT: P. S. I think he should TOTALLY make the Roly Diaries a thing! It would be so cathartic for him and us too!
Love you buddy. I'm glad you made it out the other side of all this and life is treating you better now.
Here's to all the golden hearted grandparents and caring friends who didn't let us broken kid's drown!
Hugs all around!
I started crying when you teared up roly, I am so sorry for what you've been through, and you've come out the other side a stronger person I may not know you personally but ive been watching you're videos for a while now and just want to say you are such an amazing and inspirational person and I love you alot ❤️
I just want to give him a huge hug!
Psychotherapist here! Really proud you open up 🥰 sending love and hugs!
You're doing an important job! Thank you for that! Sending you love:
☮🕊😘🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜💗🤍🖤🤎🏳🌈🏳⚧🤗🕊☮
Hi Roly! I hope you’re doing ok, reading the description this is a tough video for you to make but I’m very proud of you. Keep your head up- we’re all here to support you ❤️
Thank you my love
Roly my love, I know saying ‘I’m sorry’ means nothing, but you are so fucking strong for going through all this and still being the incredible person you are, not allowing your trauma to make you someone who is hurtful, you are instead so caring and spread so much joy, in spite of what you’ve had to deal with. So proud of you for sharing this, and for doing what is best for you, such as cutting ties etc. chosen family is everything and you really highlight that for me. As someone who has seen a lot of the foster care system (not as a child in care) for you to come out the other side of everything as such a beautiful, joyous person is truly admirable, wishing you all the happiness in the world
I'm sorry but this is one of the most wholesome comment sections, we literally all support you Roly and you have really come such a long way, I know your grandparents are proud,
here's to all of us, that are queer and went through a traumatic childhood. to those of us who had to fight, while others were having "the times of their lifes".
we are strong, and we get even stronger, every day that we keep on living, even if it sometimes doesn't feel like it.
Thank you Roly, for being so open about your life. You are one of the kindest people I've seen.
To you and all of us
I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being vulnerable, open, and for letting us in. It really shows your trust and comfort in us. I’ve been watching your videos for a long time, and in the past year or so watching your videos just makes me feel like you are a friend (I know that might sound silly), and with this video I feel that even more strongly. It’s like you are here for us and we are here for you. Sending you love ❤️
Friend you hit the nail on the head
Oh, sweetie. From the little you told before, I had a feeling there was something that had gone down in your family, but I had no idea it was this bad.
I think you are really brave to open up like this, and show yourself vonurable.
I saw you saying some people would get upset, and thought you ment subscribers, but now it's obvious that was not the case.
But good on you for getting this of your chest! Bravo! I can imagine this being very good not only for you, but for any kid in a similar situation.
And I for one is very happy that you made it out on the other side!
Thank you! Yes this was a hard film but I actually feel really good now making it x
@@RolyWestYT We’re all so proud of you roly! you’re such a brave man and we love you💗
Parentification is horrid and immensely traumatizing, this makes me and I'm sure many others with similar struggles feel less alone, proud of you for getting through this.
As a note though, I don't think you're ever obligated to give this information, it is much appreciated but I hate it when people pry for absolutely no reason.
It's not really trying its curiosity about a person that you feel close to whether or not we get to see him or talk to him on a daily basis we all feel like he's part of our lives and everybody wants to know about the life of somebody that you care about or love regardless of the fact that we don't know each other personally we still feel like we do and that person is part of our lives
Wow that was so hard to watch, as a mum I felt so many emotions listening to you and wished I had a time machine so I could go back and scoop you and your sister up and just give you a childhood and love that every child deserves, absolutely heart breaking I'm so sorry the start of life was absolutely vile for you but so proud you fought and got where you are today, stay strong and keep being you because you my dear are an idol and amazing role model x
Yeah, my mama heart is just breaking for what he's gone through, and how many people failed him through his childhood 😢.
@Roly Much love, darling, you're a magnificent human ❤
I'm so sorry you had to go through all this! My heart absolutely broke for you, I just wanna give you hugs 🫂 no one should ever have to go through shit like this.
The older I get the more stories I hear and share of darkness, abuse, suicidal ideation. I decided I can either sink into depression alone or feel community of healing together. I would rather heal.
Thank you for sharing. I hope your healing continues
Because the bullying i endured in early childhood, I came up with a personal mantra of my own "Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but the only opinions that matter to me are those of my family" (family being not only blood but the family that i chose. My closest friends). Once you no longer care what some says about you, a lot of that hurt and pain goes away.
I really, really with my whole heart hope that nobody EVER has to go through anything even remotely similar to what you’ve gone through. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. You are so unbelievably strong I’m sure this is going to encourage people to speak up, stop tolerating things that should never be tolerated and to feel less alone. It must have been very hard to be this vulnerable on camera which only makes you even more admirable. We love you, Roly, we appreciate you. I can’t even thank you enough❤️
Wow, this is heartbreaking... but you can be really proud of yourself and the person you're today Roly, loads of love ♡♡♡
Thank you Kamee x
It's ok to get gooey, Roly. Especially when you're sharing such emotional stuff. And this was a huge share. I hope it helps you to share it, to get it out there and off your chest. You're a fabulous person, and I appreciate this glimpse into your past and personals. I'm glad you have good friends and good support now. You're awesome, and I hope many many awesome things come your way.
Oh Roly. Your grandma was ALWAYS proud of you, don't ever think otherwise. You're amazing. Lots of love to you.
Hope you’re doing ok. Just started watching the video and going by the title this sounds heartbreaking. You’re one of the few genuine people on the internet and don’t deserve to go through something so horrible. X
Thank you lovely xx
Hello everybody! Have a nice day and happy PRIDE! 😘🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜💗🤍🖤🤎🏳🌈🏳⚧🤗
Take good care of yourselves!🤗🤗🤗
Be kind to your body:🧼🛁🪥🧴🩹
Dress warm and comfy:🧦👘
Get your vitamins:🍎🥝🍇🍑🫐
Get you minerals and fiber:🥦🌽🥔🥕🍅
Drink plenty of water:🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤
Treat yourself to something you enjoy:🎮🎳🧩🛹🎧
Express yourself:🎨🎸📸📝
Make sure to take relaxing rests:🛏💤
🌈You matter! You are valid! You are important! You are beautiful! You are valuable! You are deservant of love! Take care!🏳🌈🏳⚧
😘🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜💗🤍🖤🤎🏳🌈🏳⚧🤗
I only found you while watching the toxic tears video and damn am I glad I now have, I have had a really hard time with my family but it has left me trying to be a better person, I'm not going to lie animals have been my main go to in life as they never hurt us like humans do, I now also work as a social support worker working with adults with learning disabilities, thank you Roly for just being you ❤❤
Roly hearing this broke my heart. We are related and spent a lot of time together as kids at Sivie and Dougs I now live in Australia
Hearing your story as an adult is heartbreaking. You have come through so much and achieved many asking moments and I'm so proud of you.
please, never apologise for speaking your truth xxx ❤❤❤ we love you so much roly xxxxx
you are a wonderful person and you should never feel ashamed of your past.. your past has made you what you are now.. and as much as it sounds as a cliché... you are now a result of a learned independence 👏
as much as you may gloss over this.... I'm so sorry you had to suffer through this.... I really feel the need to give you a vertual hug... im so sorry roly.. I hate that you had to suffer all of this...
you are such a beautiful person xxxxxxxx
you deserve the whole world xxxxxx
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
legitimately.. my "grandmother" would say to my dad "dont do that! you look like your father!!" so I wholeheartedly understand what you're talking about ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Sending nothing but love to you roly!
❤️❤️❤️
I've been following you for a long time, like back in your early days on here. And I've watched you grow and become the person you are now and like, despite all the things you've gone through you're still this lovely human being who brings so much joy into the lives of others. I can definitely relate to living in an environment where your parents fight all the time. I dealt with that a lot growing up and it was terrible. I too struggle with yelling even now as a 31 year old. Most of the time I can handle it, but sometimes I do still shut down and can't move. All I can do is cry. I can't even imagine how hard growing up was for you, but I'm glad you're here, and I'd give you the biggest hug if I could. And I'm so happy you have such good people in your life now ❤
I had read your comment and I relate to your struggles of shouting. I hadn't thought about it before but I've always struggled and still do, with confrontations especially. I tend to just try to zone out, I'm as quiet as I can possibly be. I do slow movements almost like I don't want to do anything that may aggravate the person who is shouting any more. I can link it to past trauma (school bullying and personal life) I hate arguements, I wouldn't say I'm happy 24/7 but it's typically someone else that puts me in a bad mood and still I struggle to be confrontational. Hopefully one day I'll be able to voice things that I don't agree with or stand up for myself when someone is having a go at me. I tend to just deal with it all in my mind like 'I wish I said this when they done that' sadly not being confrontational causes a lot of people to take advantage due to there being no repercussions. I hope you are doing well today.
I can definitely relate, only at work at I mostly handle being yelled at since it happens so rarely and most of the time it's easy to let it roll off my shoulders, 'cause 5 years of retail makes you used to it. But, when I'm in an argument with someone close to me I generally tend to shut down and end up crying, I have gotten better with it over the years, but it is a struggle sometimes. I too have a hard time standing up for myself due to that and past trauma, but I try my best and that's what matters. I absolutely hate confrontation, but I try. You'll get there one day I'm sure, it'll take time, but it'll be okay, just do your best. And if people take advantage of you that says more about them than it does you. You don't need people like that in your life and I hope if you have anyone who is in your life taking advantage you can kick them to the curb one day
We're so so proud of you, Roly, you're an incredibly strong, loving, and caring person. Keep shining your light, you really are amazing. Love you so much
Thanks Irene
The fear of phone calls is nothing stupid or weird, I had it where I was terrified when even someone else’s phone would ring , now it’s not as bad but making phone calls is still terrifying to me
I wish you and your siblings healing. Every child deserves a parent. Not every parent deserves a child. I am also hard about myself for how I reacted (treated my loved ones) in the past due to trauma. It’s not easy. Thank you for opening up and sharing your past. And sharing the sweet bond you had with your grandmother. I am very proud of you (despite being a stranger); there is so much bravery in being vulnerable and sharing emotional and traumatic memories. I listened to every word you have said in this video.
Whew.. hearing about how you have overcome your life does actually make me feel a bit better. I will say that you are not alone. I was my narcissistic mother's scapegoat after she nearly beat my half sister to death with a broom. And my dad didn't have the backbone to stand up to her. Yet, when she had a massive stroke, I was the one who had to give up my entire life to help care for her. Add having a baby at 17 with a guy who turned out to be a p***phile and having to figure out my entire life with a baby.. it sucks. Going through things like that, you finally understand the saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" and that just because they are family, doesn't mean that you have to allow them to continue to use you. Sometimes, your family is made of those who truly love you and accept you, not just because they have to or they can use you. Keep your chin up, because if you can survive what you've gone through, you can survive anything that the world can throw at you. My mom passed away when I was 18, and I can't explain how painful it was yet releasing it was. There was so much I wanted to tell her, that I was too afraid to say when she was alive. I wanted to know why I couldn't be loved by her, or why everything was always my fault. And why am I the only one who has to just get over it and move on? One of my first real memories of her was sitting in my aunt's living room, and she and my aunt were in the kitchen talking. She told my aunt that she couldn't love me the same as my sisters because I nearly killed her. Mind you, she had to have an emergency c-section with me and almost died due to blood loss. In her mind, that was my fault, and she never let me forget it. There is far more to the story that I'm just not at the point where I can say or even write it out yet. I will just say that the trauma and the pain won't last forever. If you just keep breathing in and out, it will get better, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
❤
My goodness, I am so so sorry for all that you’ve been through. Sending you so much love
Thank you for not cutting out you going through intense emotions, and not saying sorry for it either. Your strength is astonishing. Love you Roly ❤❤❤
Just watched this for the first time (because I tend to avoid heavy topics due to my own depression), and I just wanna say I'm so sorry you had to experience all of that. I obviously don't know you beyond the things you give away in your videos, but you seem like such a sweet and empathetic person, and it's deeply impressive to me that you managed to keep a mostly positive energy in life after all these traumatic things in your past. You seem to be in a much better place now, and I'm happy about that, because you deserve it, and it also gives me a bit of hope to think I might be able to overcome some of the dark parts of my own life as well. I hope life treats you with nothing but kindness these days, stay as awesome as you are ❣
No child should EVER have to see what you saw or go through what you did. You are a great young man and no one can EVER take that from you. I'm proud of who you are and respect the heck outta you.
11:00 Roly, I totally understand what you’re saying here. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD after a sexual assault, I still have a hard time being around tall men with beards. It’s strange because I know that’s not the person who hurt me but I can’t help but get nervous around them. Ily Roly, you’re so damn strong and I hope u know that all of us love you so so much 💗💗💗
Same, whenever I see people that resemble any of my abusive exes my heart starts racing and I feel like running away. I often feel bad about not trusting people that haven't done anything to me, but I also know that's the PTSD and it's not really something I have any control over
Same, I never experienced the type of or level of abuse he went through but I did grow up in a very manipulative household, very verbally abusive and emotionally neglectful, on top of being raped on two different instances by two of my exes, and now any time I see anyone that looks remotely like my exes I get really edgy or go the other way and make a complete detour, even though I'm not sure if it's them or not. I also have negative reactions to weird stuff my husband does or says to me, normal everyday stuff but it really triggers me like when he mentions that a plate I washed still had some dirt on it. He doesn't mean anything by it but I used to get really upset because that was one thing I would get screamed at for. But it really does get better, I've gotten help , moved out, and I'm so so glad my s****** attempt at 16 failed because I really love my life and my husband and my career now.
Oh my god same. If I see anyone with a similar facial feature to my assaulter I fly into panic it’s horrible. I’ve been recommended EMDR therapy for the ptsd. I’ll have to try it and see what happens. I’m sorry you have to experience that too…much love xx
Same. I have a big problem around anyone who looks like my abuser and older men specifically
I'm still trying to get over mine. I remember for the longest time as a kid I had this weird phobia of men. I was always uneasy and felt awkward being around certain ones. It wasn't until I realized my stepdad was molesting me. I was in 4th grade when it started and no one knew why I was so quiet and kept to myself. When he went to jail over a DUI, I found myself actually crying for him and missing him. I didn't know why. When he was drunk, that's when he'd hurt me. I thought it was normal the way he touched me until I asked a counselor and alerted CPS to investigate. No one protected me. My family forced me to lie and say I only said it for attention and I wasted everyone's time. It was disgusting and I felt ashamed and guilty for speaking up or even asking. I was just curious and I remember pointing to my chest and behind when I asked the counselor. I was going in for depression and anxiety as I was getting bullied a lot in school. I was sexually assaulted two years ago and I feel my heart stop as soon as I see someone who looks like him. I have to do a double take or if I'm at work, I have to think of a plan to hide until he leaves. Again, no one protected me when I spoke up about my assault. So I had to fend for myself and fight my own battle.
I have had a pretty shitty upbringing and a hard relationship with my mother who suffers from mental health issues. This really hit home. You should be proud of who you are today!!
You should be proud of yourself too my friend. It takes a lot to open up like that in the comments to perfect strangers.
They say blood is thicker then water… if you put water into a hole in the sand and blood into a hole in the sand the blood will stain and stay clogged up the water will always find a new path 🥰❤️. I understand what it’s like growing up couch surfing and having zero stability still the case now in my late 20s due to being very physically unwell for 10* years. I learned something from my Nan that I will always cherish! No matter what happens in life always laugh smile and find joy in whatever you can in the moment. Proud of you for sharing sending love and bear hugs ❤.
I used to constantly move due to being in poverty my whole childhood so I related to you so much and I remember my mom fighting with her first husband a lot due to his abuse so I feel your pain so much Roly ❤️
Big hug to you ❤️
Thank you for sharing. Much love and joy to you now for rising above those trials in life.
Sending you so much love and healing 💕
Love all of y’all we family here ❤️
Oh Roly, I'm so sorry. It's absolutely heartbreaking to hear these types of things, and to see the pain it still causes you.
the pain he shows is really showing... its heartbreaking to see someone like Roly give this story from a first hand account... I am so sorry you went through this painful time, you didnt deserve it
All my love for you, Roly. You're changing the world to the better. Thank you for letting us experience your amazing personality.
❤️❤️
I’m struggling at the moment. And just to see that everything CAN turn out fine, gives me hope.
I also want to hug you so bad right now. Take care❣️
Sending you all the love
Jenthier it will get better. I know because it did for me and so many people that I know. Please tell yourself this this will get better. Hang on. Hugs.
Stuggles are a necessary part of life. It is only through going through the bad times that we can really see and appreciate the good times. To see who are willing to stand by and support and lift you up in the hard times and who is going to bail at the first sign of trouble. This community, this family, that Roly has created here is a loving and caring place were anyone any everyone are welcome no matter who they are, where they are, or anything else. If you need a friend, we are always here for you.
It took me a long time to think of what to write, so I can't imagine how hard it was to talk about. There's nothing any one of us can say to truly help, but I'm hoping you can feel the love and support coming your way from the community you created! Your videos have made me smile and laugh on days I didn't think the sun would ever rise. I hope we can provide some light for you too. You deserve all the love! ❤️
💜
Roly, this truly breaks my heart. So glad you’re doing well for yourself after all of this trauma. You are a fantastic person 🤍 My daughter and I absolutely love your videos (she’s 8 and thinks the piercing fails are gross but she can’t help but watch!). Sending lots of love xxx
I'm so sorry these things happened to you, love. You deserved so much better than that. I hope you are proud of how bright a light you've made of yourself. You're helping a lot of people.
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
Only thing I can really say, we survived. I'm so happy that you did. The learning and healing is a hard process, but we'll survive that too.
I’m not even half way through but Roly I don’t even have the words to express how sorry I am that all of this happened to you, not to mention how young and innocent you were and had no say in any of it. Nothing is your fault. Everyone can see how much of a wonderful person you have become, and must have always been in order to get through all of this and come out the other side such a beautiful person inside and out. I don’t know what else to say, except to please continue to take great care of yourself, and don’t ever feel pressured to share anything online x
Living with my grandparents right now, moved around a lot as a kid/teen/early 20's. So I can understand your early life situation a little bit. I think it's helped me feel extra lost (I'm 23) and ungrounded. No where to call home, no friend groups etc. Kind of afraid of everything. At the end of the video, it felt true that things might get better for me, coming from you, based on what you came from and where you are now. You are such a cool person, and your body modifications are just so cool!! It's great to see you in a better space. :)
You will get through it!
I’m half way through this and my heart is breaking for you. I can’t believe that you have turned into the man you are. Amazing resilience. You are a solider ❤
Hi Roly, I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I just lost my grandma from cancer a couple of years ago and I miss her so much. It’s so terribly hard watching a loved one go through that. I’m so happy you’re in a far better place now and you felt safe enough to tell this story.
I recently found your channel and your videos have brought me so much joy. I’m so happy you’re here. ❤
You are so loved and so appreciated Roly. You come across as an absolute wonderful human being who is very open and loving. Sending much love 💚🌸 You are worthy, you are needed, you are beautiful, you are wanted.
Thank you for sharing this, you are incredibly brave but always know that you aren't obligated to share anything with us. We love you, it's okay to keep things privet and I am so extremely sorry people asked you about your past and I am beyond sorry that you had such a childhood, it's heartbreaking.
I myself am a mother of a young son and he is my absolute world. He is my heart and I can't imagine my son being hurt by me, his mother that should protect, love and provide for him. I am very sorry Roly, you are so loved.♥️
I've been a subscriber for many years, I remember when you moved in with Calum and Kieran. I've heard the comments you've made that eluded to a rough past, but I'd never have imagined. I wanted to say that I am so proud of you and who you've become. You have built yourself up no matter what those people put you through, or how hard they tried to hold you down. It makes me so sad to see you cry, each time you teared up in this so did I. You deserved so much more than this. You did it though, you built who you are today and you have every right to be happy and be proud of the person you've become. If they aren't in your life anymore that's their problem, and it is certainly their loss. They missed out on the incredible person you are today! 🧡💛💚💙💜❤
Im only 8 minutes into this vid, and omg roly so so sorry u didnt have a fairy tale childhood….thank god you turned out to be a lovely and intelligent queen ❤️
Thank you Roly for sharing this! I told my dad to f*ck off when I was 12. He was never there for me and my sister.. never cared, never helped my mom with money or anything. He always just cared about his life and his success. So I can relate in some ways to your story even if yours is far more worse than mine. I wish you all the best - you really deserve all the love there is. So brave that can share this story with us. So thank you all the way from Sweden ❤️
AZ Daddy here again. I am a survivor of Mental, Verbal, Physical and Sexual abuse. I have childhood trauma from age 3 when my dad abandoned me (divorce). To this day I have triggers. Thank you for sharing this video. The courage to have the will to keep going says a lot about your character. My family is apart not close. I haven’t talked to my mom in almost 4 years do to toxicity. Sometimes you have to rid those around you in order to move on. I want to say I am so sorry you had to experience this life trauma so early. No kid should have to live it. Let yourself cry even if on camera it is healing and it can help others struggling the same way. I have had a recent cutting episode and it caused me to be voluntarily committed. I would give you a big huge long hug if I wasn’t so far away, so give yourself a hug for me. Consider yourself adopted by my husband and me. I can so relate to a lot of what you have experienced. If you ever come to Arizona, USA my house welcomes you it’s a safe house. I also struggled with my sexuality.. I actually was outed to my family by a cousin. Funny that the two people who accepted me ALL of me were my grandparents. Sorry for your loss of your grandma. I really need and want to give you a hug🤗. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. It means so much to me more than you know. But to say I understand what and how you suffered would be an understatement. I can say I am a survivor and when daylight peeks thru the window I know I have survived another day as this is how I live…one day cuz I don’t know if I will have another. I have mental health issues and almost ended it from a 9th floor window 6/2013. For me the window was what saved me from plunging to my death. So sharing this part of you means so much for me. We love you and hope this best for you. I do mean what I said about staying at our house if you ever need to just get away or come for a holiday. Cheers mate.
Roly I have been a silent watcher from the beginning and a massive fan and supporter to you I love your content and who you are as a person and this video just makes me want to squeeze you and give you a big cuddle because you should not have had to go through what you did but it might not mean much but I am incredibly proud of how far you have come and who you have become xx
Aww ROLY, I just want to give you the biggest hug. Well done for how far you have come. You are amazing. I know I am a random stranger but I am so sorry you had to go through this. Oh, sweet, if you ever need someone to talk to about this, I would be there for you.
This video made me emotional because I can’t even imagine all of that. When you talked about your grandpa with Parkinson’s that’s happening to my grandpa too. It is hard to watch with how slow and inhibited they are. You are so strong and I hope you’re doing well.❤️
Thank you for sharing your personal storyvwith us too. It is through finding those things that we are the same instead of looking at what makes us different which is going to bring this world together. Stay strong Cassie
I've only recently discovered your channel, you are such an amazing human being. I've been on a long spell of my mental health having taken a dip with some really bad days of anxiety, deep overwhelming unhappiness and days of numb disassociating. Watching yours and Luxeria's videos has been like having two amazing friends. I find it really hard to connect with people, but your channel makes it feel like I have someone out there.
My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's during the pandemic and when I was younger I saw dementia take my grandma. Its really hard to see people you love suffer from these degenerative diseases with such unpredictable speeds of progression. Thankfully my dad is on a plethora of drugs to help manage it but he's starkly different from the dad I've always known.
Everything you've been through is so heart breaking, so many adults who should have intervened sooner. Thank you so much for sharing, this will mean so much to so many people. You are such a ray of sunshine and to know that you can be so full of light and love after so much cruelty brings hope to so many.
Keep being the fabulous woman on the go you are!
Thank you for shining some light on how family is just a word & how sometimes friends make better family than blood, a lot of people question why i don't celebrate any holidays but halloween its quite simple every holiday has been ruined by "family" except for halloween, every job thought i was so weird for wanting to work holidays rather than "spend them with family" yes id love to hangout woth my abusors and pretend im happy.. NOT.. id rather set myself up for a better future, im suprised jobs of all things don't understand, i know it was really hard to talk about but im so glad you did, you are amazingly strong and i feel less alone hearing this because a lot of the people in my life can't understand why im always moving or why i dont spend time with family, or visit anyone, it makes me feel so outcasted and now i feel a bit more heard, my aunts inheritance to me went to people i used to think were my friends so i feel you i lost 15,000$ to people just harassing me and stealing my purse using my card for gas without permission cuz my ex saw me typing my code getting groceries and told everyone so i got used for money constantly, i know it sucks this is how we had to have things, but we both came out stronger for it, i really appreciate your videos
I can’t Imagine how hard this must have been 💜💜 sending love x
It was but I do feel really good about this x
Wow... Watching you since 2011 Roly, I knew you went through a lot... living with your grandparents & remembering how you were back then, its truly a miracle you turned out amazingly... It goes to show how strong you are. I knew you went through some shit, but not to this extent. Cudos to your strength.
Thanks for sticking with me all this time x
@@RolyWestYT always! 💗 Gays Of The Week meant so much to me & to see you grown as a person & a channel has been amazing. You deserve the world & I hope you enjoy everything you’ve worked for. I wish you nothing but the best.
you are so incredibly strong and even after everything you’ve been through, you continue to be such a beautiful person. sending you so much love roly 💕
😘😘
I’m 20 min in to the video. And i’m out of words! I’m so so so sorry that you’ve had to go through all this. When you started crying, I started crying. You’re such a strong person Roly! I love you and your videos! Please never stop doing what you love❤️❤️❤️
I have seen this video so many times, and every time, I cry with you. I, too, have complex PTSD. I also had an incredible relationship with my Nan. She was my rock, my universe. So I can relate massively.
Your story and you are an inspiration to me. You have overcome so much trauma in your life, and yet you have become such a wonderful, lovely, successful, and amazing man. You should be so proud of yourself. Your Grandma, Grandad, and Dad would be incredibly proud of you now. So hold your head up high.
I just want to say regardless of how much pain you've endured you have still managed to be a light in so many people's lives just through your videos, we know your heart is always in the right place and that's all that matters ❤️✨
I’m listening right now to the part where you’re talking about your grandparents health and I just needed to say I’m so grateful too see someone w/ a platform talk about it. I took care of my grandparents up until recently and it is emotionally traumatizing seeing them deteriorate. They’ve both passed now, my grandma died the 1st of May. And although it was a struggle, I miss them so much. Thank you for sharing this w/ us, Roly ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss.
@@michellecarey583 Thank you 💕
Lots of love to you ❤️
So so sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. Both of my grandpas died of pancreatic cancer, and my paternal grandmother died of heart failure. My maternal grandma is still with us, but she has really bad dementia that it is difficult to know how she will be from day to day. I never knew the emotional strain that someone with dementia goes through before. I thought that you woke up one day at like 90 years old and you just think you are 30 again. But there are some days that she wants to actually fight us. Like legit punch me in the face (i am 6 foot tall and 300+lbs. She is 5'4 and half me), and then not even an hour later she is crying because she is scared and confused abd then she is the loving sweet grandma i grew up with and does not know why i am crying my eyes out.
My bio mom was literally the exact same way, I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. It's hard.
Sorry you had to deal with this type of thing too! Xx
So sorry you had to go through that. Sending love to you 💕
I realize I'm well over a year late, but WOW.
The vulnerability, disclosure, raw, beautiful, pure emotion of this video.
Oh honey. Big hugs to you. Your words about your dad had me tearing up with you 🤍🤍
reading the title, i knew i was in for it. it honestly pained me so much listening to everything you went through. and i can relate to a good bit of it as well. though your past may have been painful, the person who you have become today is just phenomenal. you truly are such a beautiful soul, and you’re incredible. your past will never define you, it’s part of your story. we love you so very much. and i’m proud of you for sharing this, even if it’s a year later than you wanted to do it. ❤️
This was a heartbreaking thing to hear. I can't believe how difficult it was for you to make this video and share all this to us. Giving you a virtual hug from the US,.
Oh Roly. Thank you for your bravery in being this vulnerable with us. I am so beyond sorry that you were failed so much and so often. No one deserves what you went through, let alone a child. I know your grandma would be proud because I'm a relative stranger and I'm ridiculously proud of you. You've come so far with very little help and turned out to be a wonderful, kind, loving, giving person. That's beyond amazing and you should be proud. My heart breaks for the hurt that you've been through and for that you still feel but I'm so happy you have love around you now and that you are where you are and who you are in the end. Thank you again for sharing this with us, it couldn't have been easy but I hope it helps with your healing.
I just wanna hug you.
ps. I hope your aunt watches this and feels like the absolute pos she is. You achieved already so much more than she ever will, you're a better person than she'll ever be.
Jesus christ, that's horrific. I can't believe what ppl can survive
I feel like we could have lived next door to each other, my mum was also an alcoholic, and we had a very dysfunctional life. It reached a head when I was 16, my mum's drinking was out of control. I was looking after my 10 year old brother, my 3 older siblings were living away at the time. I know what it's like to be let down by the adults in your life. I remember my brother coming home from school asking if mum was drunk and me replying "Yeah, but it's ok, she's wine drunk, not gin drunk". WTF! My mum eventually stopped drinking about 8 years later. She hasn't had a drop since. I carried a lot of guilt about things. I was eventually able to talk to my mum about things. She apologized, and told me that I was only a child , and that she had wrongly expected me to deal with adult issues. She also explained that I had done nothing wrong, that it was her decisions that caused the issues. I felt that I was able to talk to her about a lot of things, and it was good to be able to do that and have it validated. Although everything worked out for me in the end, I have unfortunately grown into the biggest empath. I admire your courage for speaking out, it's not always easy to tell people about the rubbish stuff. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you were a child then, you were just doing what a child was supposed to do. Try not to look back on your behaviour as a child, and judge it with your adult wisdom. You didn't have the knowledge, coping mechanisms or insight that you have now. Which is why children are supposed to be protected and safe. Thanks for this video, and please be kind to yourself. X
Hey, Roly! I hope telling your story was therapeutic 💜 It is so hard to watch a loved one go through Parkinsons. My grandfather also had Parkinsons and it is so so horrible to watch them go through that and feel so helpless about it. I hope you're doing okay after this video 💜
Sending you all the love x
Roly ive been watching youre content for years, since 2014. Youve always been such a beacon of light in my dark days. What you have had to go through at such a young age and in many of your early years is horrifying, but through all of that you have overcome all those obsticales and youve turned out amazing! Im sure youre grandparents would be so proud and smiling ear to ear watching you flourish! You are incredibly strong and such an inspiration to so many! Thank you for all the years of laughs and informative videos! We've never met but I'm so incredibly proud of you! Keep on shining! So much love from 🇮🇪 ❤
Hey roly, watching this video brought back a lot of similar very sore memories for me, I’m still struggling as a 16 year old trans male and I got brought to tears, thank you for sharing your experience, whenever I’m having an absolutely awful time watching your videos always cheers me up a little bit and I wish I could just give you a massive hug, thank you for everything
I hope you are safe and take care of yourself. I’m just a mom, I have a Amazing trans son. I hope you have support and are encouraged to be yourself. Mom hugs!
Oh sweetheart. I’m so sorry you had to live through all that. It’s horribly unfair. You are such a sweet person. I am so glad you survived and now you are thriving! I have a lot of Trauma and PTSD too.
I’ve found a lot of people who have body mods (piercings, tattoos, hair dye, fantastical make-up, etc) have some kind of traumatic experience. I think our modifications give us control and agency in our lives, when we didn’t have that for so long. They help us heal because we can be who we are, and how we are.
You are so brave, so beautiful and you bring so much to so many people. Thank you so much for sharing 💜 I hope you have any support you need, and quality psychotherapy to work through all of this (if you haven’t already). And maybe EMDR therapy? ❤️🩹
Roly i don’t think iv ever wanted to give you a hug more in my life, you deserve the world hun, you should be so proud of the person you are today, we all love you 💜
I never usually comment but it must be done. Sending lots of love and support. You have taken the hand dealt and turned it into something incredible - the person you are today. Keep going because you’re doing bloody brilliantly 🖤
Thank you Laura x
Sending you the most love. I can’t imagine how hard this was for you to make and I can’t thank you enough for opening up to us and letting us in❤️
💜💜💜
Roly I’ve watched you for so many years now and always knew from the slight details you’d drop here and there, that you’d had it hard but my god, you’ve been through the ringer. I can SO relate with a lot of details in your story and I’m so so proud of you, you’ve come from nothing to being a light for so many people. You’re such a kind soul and you didn’t deserve any of the trauma you have been put through. I just want you to know, that you’re definitely not alone, I have a really shitty complicated family and blood is NOT thicker than water, I hate that phrase! Absolute bullshit! You really are such an inspiration for so many and I just… I’m lost for words really, I just think the way you’ve built your life all on your own pretty much, is incredible. Don’t lose your strength, your passion, your fierce and fabulousness, ever. Trauma is a lot and it’s tough FOR SURE, but you have shown everyone that you’ve not let it take away your passion, drive and beautiful personality 🙏❤️
OMG Roly, I'm so sorry you had all this horrific stuff happen and so angry that the system didn't defend you when your mother was patently incompetent to look after children; but most of all I am so impressed that after that sh*t storm you have survived and thrived and recovered. Take a huge psychic hug 🫂 to make up for the.many hugs you should have had and didn't. ❤
So sorry for you and anyone out there, who have to go through such difficult childhood.
I hope you all will find strength to carry on, even though life can feel such a battle sometimes. There are people out here who care about you and love you ❤
My childhood wasn't all dancing on roses, but nowhere near as bad. My parents had all kinds of trauma from their childhood and youth, and no means to deal with it. People didn't know about PTSD. There was no therapy. Some handled their trauma better than others. Sadly, many passed their issues to their children. I can see my siblings having issues and in certain level passing them on to their children. Though I have also noticed they are doing way better with their kids than our parents did with us.
I tend to search reasons why people act how they do and try to understand the reasoning behind. That doesn't mean I accept their ill behaviour. Studying and learning about human behaviour have been very eye-opening and helped me to realize many things I need to change or improve in my own behaviour. It have also helped me to understand better why our parents were how they were. It is not an excuse, they could have chosen to act differently, but it also gives perspective. They weren't bad people, just messed up. Sadly, we, the offspring, are the ones paying the price.
Roly...
First of all, thank you for sharing your story with us. Second of all, do you realise how strong, resilient and courageous you are?
I'm only at 22:25 and already cried with you. We have very similar lives so I can really feel your pain. I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you. You're amazing... And everything you've accomplished is insane.
Much much love to you.
I'm so sorry this happened to you Roly, you're a genuinely beautiful person inside and out, you never deserved any of this. I'm also estranged from my family, nobody should ever push and ask questions on someone's relationship with their family, it's none of their buisness. I'm glad you felt like you could open up to us about this though, appreciate you always 💖
Awe Roly, my heart breaks for you. I'm so proud you've told your story as it isn't easy telling people things about your past. Sending love and best wishes to you ❤
This breaks my heart that you went through this. You should be so proud of the wonderful person you have become, ❤
Roly, I doubt you will see this honey as this video is a year old. You are so brave and strong to share your experiences.
I am diagnosed C-PTSD (Complex PTSD/Ongoing Childhood trauma).
If you do still struggle with any trauma symptoms please look into C-PTSD.
If not that's amazing and I'm so pleased you managed to become the wonderful person that you are.
I've been subscribed to you for years, I found Luxeria through you too and I adore your friendship.
Thank you for all your entertaining content and especially for sharing these parts of you too x