Q&A #3 - Sexuality, Trans Issues, and BREAKUPS
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
- Hi everyone! Thank you for visiting my video - I no longer do work like this but wanted to let you know I now stream on Twitch and make RUclips videos about gaming!
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And you can find my new RUclips videos here: / @stephaniepeloza5450
I no longer produce content about beauty or fashion, or produce educational content around my own transness or traumas, as I have learned I need boundaries for my own well-being. However, my new work is dedicated to creating safe, inclusive, cozy spaces for folks of all backgrounds with a zero tolerance policy towards bigotry.
Please join me in my new work if you like gaming, stories, game development, game history, sci-fi or fantasy, or you just want to hang out in a cozy place with cozy folks. It would mean the world to me.
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I hope y'all enjoy this! Thank you SOOO much for your questions - don't forget to let me know your response to the question of the day in the comments!
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i think "video games and friends" is my new life motto 💖
Also I thought i was in love with a guy who is four years older than me (I was twelve when this started and he was sixteen) and it was good at the start but it turned into a really toxic relationship, we both have been struggling with anxiety and depression and really not good things so because we both just were in the worst places of our lives (mind you, this had been going on for a few years now) we ended it but then we got back together. We were both in really sucky situations and he had this image of being able to "fix me", as well as having so much issues with things such as jealousy. It's not that he didn't respect me, he just had this scewed image of what a relationship should be. We finally split up again in May, and I feel so much better. I feel like I can actually enjoy my youth now. When I was with him I felt as if I couldn't be intrested in anyone else since he had such a tight grip around me. I feel free. We still talk and we're on really good terms. :-)
haha yeah, but the wine has got to be nonalchoholic, I don't drink :-)
Oh my gosh Fallout4 I literally cannot wait anymore
+IndigoStars OH MY GOD YOU ALSO MENTIONED ASMR I CANT ATM
I'm lying down too, best slumber party ever. Also, are you ever not gorgeous? 😍😘
Oh, and I am right now. I mean, it's not easy but we've been in a relationship for almost five years. We started dating in our late teens and are now approaching our mid twenties. It's amazing how our vision of where we'd be has changed. We thought we had our lives under control but, unsurprisingly, we were completely wrong. Our relationship has only gotten stronger as we've both really established who we are individually. I knew I was bi long before but a lot of your youth is spent working out who you are and where you fit. I'm now coming to terms with the fact I'm not really gender binary and consider myself more intersex. I've always known I didn't quite feel right as being specifically a woman. My partner is incredibly supportive and feels fairly similar, so we've been able to help encourage each other to be our true selves ❤️
+StepsofAnie Well, that's awesome! So great you found someone who truly understands what's going on. It's so rare. Good luck to both of you!
+StepsofAnie hey there
Just wanted to point out that you may have misused the word "intersex". Intersex refers to someone with physical sex characteristics of both sexes (i.e.: testes but fully-developed breasts). I am not trying to infringe upon your personal identity, just wanted to let you know. I don't know how you identify specifically, so I have no suggestions for alternate labels. Maybe just do some research and see what works for you
I love how self-assured she seems at such a young age. Amazing. Love ya. Spread the awesomeness.
I love this whole cute pillow set up, can we have more sleepovers? Also, I am 20 and have never been to a party with alcohol or anything like that, including a club or whatever. I'm outspoken, I find myself funny, but I have anxiety, and it terrifies me to be out in the open exposed to people who might not accept me. I can relate with you in that sense xoxo thank you gorgeous!
you literally look amazing, and you seem so happy. i love these casual/chatty vids!
Answer to your question:
I am super in love with THAT BACKGROUND LIGHT ERMAHGERD WHERE DID YOU BUY IT?!
The slumber party idea is AWESOME because I'm always sitting in my bed, winding down and relaxing when I'm watching your videos!
Omg i watched this in bed and i honestly felt like i was bonding with u lol I'm so pathetic
Same
+ThatDamnBlonde That's not pathetic at all. Sounds natural to me!
im under a blanket with pillows :p hehe so I don't think it's lame!
Same
mee too lol
I was in love. I was in love and it was amazing and then it ended and everything was awful. But learning to love myself brought color back to my world: so it's not all bad.
+Nova Dowd Same darling!
Same!
I've had love only once. I met him when I was 15, married him when I was 19 and still going strong 13 years later :) I ship him five-ever, because its longer than forever!
Thanks!
+Andrea Zahuranec awww!
!!!!! Awwww!9
wow I want that for me!
Who gets married at 19.. White people, I'm guessing you're white?
Seriously though, why is your energy so therapeutic?? I was mentally unstable before i started watching this. So glad you showed up on my feed
I have been with my current boyfriend since I was 19, I'm almost 26 and I love him more & more every day. The best things happen when you stop looking :)
Ombre eyebrows on point also!
That little blue, red panda/raccoon thing - you've just put the biggest grin on my face! When I was younger and avid about creating my own fantasy world, the common "house-elf" was a little blue raccoon with gigantic ears and a big fluffy tail - I called them Chicos (and treated them like family, not servants :P) Each one was a different variant of blue and their stripes were always just a shade darker or so. You've made my day, Stef :3
This bedside lighting is actually really cute! Makes
Oops. Your hair and skin look awesome! (cont.)
I'm binge watching all your videos Stef! From the beginning to the end and It fascinates me seeing you change over the course of watching each video.
I was in love and it was wonderful until it wasn't. Then I was still in love but, by my own choice, I wasn't with the person. For a long time I thought that was worse and I'd made a mistake.
Here's the thing - love is not supposed to tear your life apart until it's slipping through your fingers. If it can do that, it's not a healthy love. It shouldn't be like an addiction, where being with the person feels mostly great (except for those bad trips, you know the ones. The ones that just kept getting more and more frequent), but ending the relationship is a physical withdrawal that makes you ill.
I'm in love now, and it's a love that feels completely different. It's a love that feels stable. It's not built on a roller coaster I'd have to tuck and roll from if I wanted out. It's built on something much more consistent. I'm feeling sapp and I don't like it so I'm gonna just stop here...
sappy*
Laying in bed watching this. I love your videos so much, thank you!
i was over my head in love with my ex, and she was with me too. but we live in different countries, and we tried but the distans became too much for her so she ended it. this was a long time ago, but we are turly something bigger than friends, we can't be apart, nothing romantic ofc, but we worked hard on getting over our relationship. she's actually coming to visit me today, it's been so long and i can't wait to met my best friend in the world! how sappy this was..
+haioemma4 So happy you guys can be friends still, I wish it was like that will all exes
***** oh thank you, it was very hard but we also tried very hard. i understand what you mean yeah
omfg I JUST found your channel, I'm randomly clicking on videos and not only did I think "Whoa you're gorgeous!!" through out the whole spree, the fact that your voice is higher pitched than the older vid I just saw makes me so happy that things are falling into place :'D
I'm in love now. And it took years and years for me to accept it. I hated the idea of love for so long because it's scary and intimidating, but he's made me love myself and realize love is an amazing thing. And it's incredible and wild and awesome when you find it, and you will know when you are completely I.n love! And it's passionate and makes my head spin. And I've truly never been happier. And years into this relationship I still feel the same. It's forever changed my life. And because of it I'm a better person, I care more deeply, I'm more patient, I'm more forgiving, I'm more devoted and I know this is how love SHOULD be :)
You're eyeliner is always so on point! Keep doing it girl!!
*your
In my bed also with the same bedding wow I feel like we're bonding
me too! ikea bedsheets rock
whoever copied who's comment is gay af
"videogames, videogames! And friends. Talk to your friends." xD I love you, that was fantastic. Someone needs to make a gif of that for me.
well i mean i've never been in love, but one time in 4th grade a boy told me he had had a crush on me for a long time and wanted to be my boyfriend. i looked him in the eye and said "haha i knew it" and ran away and it was the most exhilarating moment of my early childhood.
Jessica, LOL best thing Ive read today
You are definitely SPOT ON about the focusing on yourself bit! Joshua Harris discussed that in his book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" in the chapter about the "season of singleness" how he most people often waste their season of singleness by obsessing about being in a relationship when they could use this time to better themselves and invest in themselves. And I wish so much all single people in the world know it and live it!! So you PREACH, GIRL!!! :D
can we have more slumber parties? this was so nice!
The goblin town is called Everlook. I love Winterspring but my favorite zone is Storm Peaks. Everything is so beautiful and on such a grand scale. I'm in awe of it.
January 19th 2013 - went on a date with a guy I met online. 9 months later I was pregnant, 1 year later to the day we were engaged, 2 years later we were married. I now have a husband and a wonderful 16 month old boy. So yes, I have been in love. Twice over. And it's a pretty cool time.
I am in love right now! It's the best feeling ever to know that that person has your back and loves you with all their heart. It's.... euphoric.
Love you
I was in love and he was the kindest person I had ever met, we broke up because he moved away, I wrote him this poem:
Good bye my darling friend.
My everything I held dear
My mornings and my nights
My laughter and my fears.
I gave you a piece of my heart
And replaced the empty with sorrow
And I hoped you would keep it alive
That which was not yours to borrow.
I hope that you keep it safe
In a place where it will never wither
In a place that is near to your heart
That makes all of your grievances hinder.
Remember me when we loved us.
Remember the love that I gave.
So goodbye my fondest of memories
I know that my heart will be safe.
Im crying now that was sad love your poem I needed to cry
I love this video, Stef. You're wonderful to listen to, I'm looking forward to more Q&A's in the future! This "slumber-party," relaxed kind of format is awesome!
You are my precious hobbit mother
This was a really cool video. I layed in my bed watching this and it felt like a super fun sleepover, which I haven't had in a long time. Thanks Stef you're wonderful.
Yes, i have been in ''love''. He said he loved me everyday, that i was the one, that he would do anything for me, that i was beautiful and perfect. I fell in love with him. Then, one month later, we went to a party, and i was late, so when i got there (15 minutes after him) he was DRUNK, and kissing another girl. And then he saw me, apologized, and 5 minutes later he was kissing another one. And then another one. And another one. He kissed 6 girls in front of me. It was awful. I've never told anybody this, not even my best friend. Should i tell her? It's so humiliating.
+Susana Maria oh my goodness, I am so sorry :( that's really terrible! It can be really hard to talk about that, but your friends should be your biggest support. If you trust her, tell her, I'm sure it will feel so much better to have someone listen to you and comfort you. Also, I hope you left his ass in the dust, cause he's a big two-timing jerkwad and you deserve better- alcohol IS NOT an excuse.
Andie Blondie Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. And yes, I left his ass in the dust, I don't love him anymore, he's an idiot. I'm moving on, but its really hard cause this was only 3 months ago... It's hard to forget, but I'm fine by my own and I don't need no man right now. Thanks again ;)
:* yaaaaas, you got this gurl!
Tilde Bogen Thank you! ❤
+Susana Maria Oh no! I'm really sorry :( I'm deeply sorry you went through this. Gosh... I think you should definitely talk about this to someone you love and trust. It's going to make you feel lighter and in peace, truste me. One day you'll be able to look back and "laugh" at it, 'cause you'll be in a much better place, whether you'll be loving yourself or someone who deserves it.
First thing I thought when I started watching the video: "OMG! That Totoro pillow is AWESOME!" You are the best Stef! :)
I met my bf when I was 17 and he was 22. We have been together for a little over a year. He's my first love but I know I don't wanna be in this type of relationship anymore. It was fun at first but I'm ready to move on. I'm also scared of the heart ache I'm going to feel. He is a huge part of my life and I'm scared. I just started college and I want to be able to do what I want but I also don't wanna let him go because he's my best friend. It's very selfish of me I know... I don't know what to do because I love and care for him.
girl I feel you, I was in the exact same position and ended up breaking up with not only my boyfriend of 2 and a Half years but also my best friend. its horrible but if you don't want to be in it anymore it's best to just leave, its scary as hell and it hurts for a long time but eventually you'll find someone who you really want to spend all your time with, or, just chill on your own for a bit and work it all out. Maybe you'll find each other again if thats what is meant to happen :)
+lovewolves123 honestly you made me feel a lot better. I left like I was the only one going through this. But He can tell I'm becoming distant and he's trying to hang on. Ugh
+Marina Aguilar oh I know and that's the absolute worst part about the whole thing, I felt like I loved him but that wasnt enough and it wasn't the same any more. I put it off for so long because I didn't want to hurt him and that was a huge mistake b:(
+lovewolves123 thank you so much you have helped a lot!
+Marina Aguilar aw thats okay, I hope everything works out for you 💝
The last part nearly brought me to tears, because a very similar thing happened to me. I can relate so much to you. Your videos make my day
She looks like a little girl but talks like a queen.
I always get a smile on my face when I watch you. Thank you!! You are just so pleasant and adorable! ..and I just wanted to say EXCELLENT ADVICE to the older teenagers about 'knowing & love'. Big hug to you. :)
I'm going to draw you your pet and that shall be my gift to you because you be awesome sauce.
Hhhhhhh. You're so lovely - I was so sorry to hear about what that chap did to you, but I'm very, very glad to hear you've come so far from that dark place. Hope you are having a brilliant week. Happy Friday. xx
... I used to be confused and I whuld force my lesbian toughts to go away and to fit in with the others I said I liked a guy.., so no
+bästa jävla människan Awwwww ❤️
Yaaaaass en annan svenne som gillar Dan! 😅
just watched some of your older videos and the second i clicked on this one, i noticed how much your voice and apperiance has changed !! wow 🌹💗
I thought I had it all figured out too and the most accurate summary of how that went is you in your previous video saying "it's fine...... it's fine....."
i need more videos like this! this was so fun and cosy i really felt like we were just hanging out together omg. love you stef!!
I'm in love! Met my SO a year and a half ago, and it made everything else seem so insignificant! No anxiety, no excuses, cause when you know you know! We moved in together last week :)
💙 You are truly amazing. I love your Totoro pillow! We have many things in common. I feel like we are friends. Thanks for posting and always being there! xoxo!
Your videos always brighten my day :) yay for us single people tryin to love ourselves and figure our shit out! You give the best advice! 💖
currently i am in love. after being in a few abusive relationships, it feels so nice to have a person that loves me for who i am inside and out. i never knew that love could be gentle and sweet.
So glad you are taking this time to focus on yourself and your dreams! You go girl! :)
I liked the part about staying by yourself for a while. There is nothing better than independence. Go Stef!
I'm sitting on the edge of the bed watching this - does that technically "count" as being in bed watching this? I love listening to you talk - you jump from topic to topic -I think you are adorable!!!!!!!
I've joined you in your slumber party. Also, can I just say, I am totally mesmerized by the way you move your hair in this video. It's magical and colourful and stuff. Also yes, to like pie is to be an adult. Like liking the colour orange.
On the subject of love -what a funny thing it is. I was in a relationship for 4 years and thought I was in love but in retrospect, I was in comfort. Now I've been with someone for 1 year and knew only a few months in I was in love. I want to memorize every part of him inside and out and revisit those memories everyday. Love is a funny thing indeed.
you are like my inspiration, one of the few people among Lin Manuel Miranda, and Granny weatherwax. love you. thanks for giving trans teens confidence. love you!
The part about being 17, being in love with someone older, and reaaaaaally not being in control of the situation really hit home with me. I was in a similar predicament when i was that age, thank god I've sorted myself out :D
totally feels like listening to a friend whenever I watch your videos :)
You are so honest & relatable, Stef! I was sixteen, and for two & a half years, I thought I was in love with a guy a few years older than me. Gradually he came to control my life, stopped me seeing my friends, he was abusive in many ways, and he was a cheat. I thought at the time I knew what love was. However, now I'm 22, and after dealing with the anxiety & issues that relationship caused, I've found someone who treats me the way you should be treated. I feel safe, and confident and wanted. He makes me want to be the best version of me, for me.
Hearing that you've never been really popular or to a house party makes me feel better, because I haven't either!
Stef, you are such a huge inspiration to me and I absolutely love you. thank you for being you c:
you are such a bundle of positivity honestly whenever I watch your videos I feel happier afterwards 😆😆😆
Your videos make me got from sad to all happy. you're just so joyful all the time and it just makes it all better lol
Stef, you are so adorable and just so real and relatable :)
I feel like you are someone I would enjoy just getting nachos with and talking.
I am SO late in stumbling across your videos. haha The more of them I watch, the more I enjoy. I love your videos, and in this video I found out that you are a gamer! Score! I actually just sat down to eat lunch and play "Fallout 4" for the millionth time.
I love that the toughest questions were about food. By the way, I love this "chill" kind of video.
from a parental perspective,it is so nice to see an intelligent and well spoken channel.Thankyou
I had a really bad day and I decided to watch your videos. This particular one makes me happy for some reason (maybe because of the sleepover feel, haha). Thank you sooo much, Stef! Love you!
My favorite video of yours by far! (Well... so far. It changes like daily lol) Keep them coming, please!! You give me endless motivation ^^
The strongest love I've ever felt outside my family was for my best friend. I adored her -- she was teenage me's saving grace. But then we grew up, grew apart; she grew careless, I grew to respect myself. Now, I'm working on loving myself ten times more than I wish she had back then. I know it's platonic love and some people don't rank that with romantic but rather see it as a step down, but you know, I've learned that friends can break your heart in the same way romantic love can. It's just as sweet, and just as bitter -- it's just DIFFERENT, too.
Loved this video, Stef~ I loved hearing about your experience with love, and learning the context behind your other video.
I love you for making this video! It may not have been your goal, but you made me laugh throughout the whole video with your animated responses.
Love is something I never thought that I would be able to experience after having gone from abusive relationship to abusive relationship - and yet here I am today. Loving someone else and being confident in that has made me a better person in so many different ways. I didn't think I could ever find someone who could accept me for who I am, but now I feel like I could take on the world. Love is familiar to me now, it's comfortable, it's warm - it feels like home. I'm grateful for my partner, and they are the greatest friend I've ever had.
Your advice about dating older guys while young is so important. Young people, heed this beautiful lady's warning. Stef, your videos are so amazing and I'm so happy when you upload videos.
You are so beautiful, your hair is amazing and your makeup is on point
You're literally goals because you are such a lovely person I'm crying
I like that you share so openly and that you care about how you answer. I think you are beautiful and that no one should compare someone to what or how they look. are people truly like that. watching you videos helps me to understand the world better and understand Transgender and other groups of people. I think you should keep doing it. you have a lot of courage that lots of people don't possess. I love your purple hair colors and you makeup and especially the real creative side of you. wish you all the best Stef. 😊
Stef you are such an amazingly beautiful woman, inside and out. I honestly feel like we could be best friends because we have so much in common, you're my absolute favorite RUclipsr.
Keep being awesome and slaying everyone in your sight
i've been in love and it ended up horrible but its all good now. i just wanted to tell you that i love your videos you have such a lovely energy, i was a bit sad and watch this really cheer me up :) thank you ! 💜
You are a beautiful person, with a sweet heart. I think you are a very positive force in the Trans community. I'm so glad that your family is supportive - because they are the ones who love you most.
That video was the first I saw from you and I loved it so much. It was just so artistic and inspiring.
Your videos are so magical and they calm me so much, I love them and I love you because you are amazing and such an inspiration to many!
To Stef's question about being in love. I think for my maturity level I've been in love at different times. But the more I grow up and become more confident, the better it is. I also totally agree with taking time for yourself. I had a nasty relationship where my SO cheated on me and was an over all a bad person. And I took over a year, almost two, to just work on me and my happiness. And it is so worth it! I am now in the best relationship ever. We are both happy with who we are as individuals and strive to love ourselves so we aren't dependant on each other for confidence, but we compliment each other and help build each other up as individuals and as a pair. Love you Stef! Keep being a beautiful you!
im laying beside the person i love right now and its absolutely wonderful
you trurly make me happy, this was such a relaxing video to watch
I am most definitely in love and it is wonderful and we are celebrating our 3 year anniversary next Saturday (Halloween)!!!
My first love was at a very young age, an age where people said you don't know what love is. He moved far away and as expected broke up with me. My heart seriously shattered, like it was more than I ever expected heartbreak to feel like. Of course that sucked, but you evolve so much from those new emotions and experiences. I suddenly gained so much perspective! It really was leveling up, the strength it takes to patch yourself up. With every relationship I gain new perspectives and it has made me a more compassionate person. I'm in love now and in a serious relationship, but it's all quite different each time around. Sometimes I wish I'd never met my ex's but I just wouldn't be me otherwise.
I am so glad that you are loving yourself first!
You seem like the most genuine and lovely person inside and out.
Love your videos Stef! Thanks for being so true and inspiring!
Love is such a strong feeling and there are so many types of love. I personally have never been romantically in love, though ive been under the illusion that i was. But i platonically love all of my friends because they never pressure me into relationships and they know im not confortable with the lovey dovey stuff. And for that, i love them :)
I've been in love 3 times in my life (2 previous, 1 current) and I love love. It hurt more than anything ever has when it ends but I don't regret the time I spent with those individuals and now I am with someone I truly believe was made for me. Each love is vastly different and it never feels the same, that is one reason why I love it. No breakup has made me give up hope. Go Love!
I just stumbled across your videos thanks to favorited/subscribed WoW videos and channels but, I love you. You're so inspirational. :)
THE FACE. when you talked about your degree. OMG I LOVE IT! SO MUCH XDDD
When I was 17 I was with a 24 year old for a year and it was rough, even now that I am 20 I still find myself thinking about all the bad I went through , your advice what you said I just needed it . thanks a lot for sharing.
First of all I love you! Second. My first love, who I was engaged to, broke my heart but that was a blessing. I've been married to my soulmate for going on 27 years. He is the best husband and father.
"pie is gross and for adults" - that should be on a tshirt (I love both, but you made me laugh with that statement :D )
I've been in love before, and even though it ended pretty badly, I still had a great time when it happened. I think that this taught me that all good things come to an end, and that you shouldn't regret any good relationship that ended bad. You should embrace the joy that you had from it, because the bad ending was worth it and without it you wouldn't have been so happy.
I'm in love! I've been with the same guy for over 3 years now. We are a very good match, and although I have my crazy moments, I know that these are just feelings of jealousy manifesting because of my insecurities and not anything he has done. He's always been supportive of me and my choices, and never pushes me to do things I don't want to. I hope he never goes away! I also hope you find someone who can be that person for you. Not just Stef, but all of you. You all deserve love
Digital slumber parties FOR THE WIN! I love the Totoro pillow!!
I have been in love and still am, with my boyfriend of four years. We are each other's best friends. Being ''in love'' is something that evolves over time. Being in love doesn't make your heart race or makes you think that the other person is the only thing that matters in your life. It's actually like this beautiful calm and warmth that surrounds you, knowing you have someone who will support you, encourage you, comfort you, and make you feel like you can truly be yourself, even as you evolve as a person. You are a team. Honestly, loving my person so much has made me realize that love is larger than a simple definition of two people who are romantically involved. Love is everywhere and for everyone, whether they are family, friends, or the compassion you have for people you barely know. It gives life meaning. Everyone deserves love.
read comments when you did the kisses thing and had to jump back to before so I could watch it. always makes me happy . D.