Malört Mixology: Thick-It Experiment (aka Chewable Malört 😨)

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  • Опубликовано: 10 янв 2024
  • Apologies for the lighting on this one. You'd struggle to maintain high production value too if you were EATING MALÖRT.
    Previous Malört Cocktails:
    Soda Stream: • Malört Mixology: The (...
    White Russian: • Malört Mixology: White...
    Malört Margarita: • Malört Mixology: Marga...
    Boozy Gummy Bears: • Malört Mixology: Boozy...
    Malört Carolina Reaper Coffee: • Malört Mixology: Carol...
    Irish Car Bomb: • Malört Mixology: Irish...
    Malört & Coke: • Malört Mixology: Jack ...
    Moscow Mule: • Malört Mixology: Mosco...
    Malortini: • Malört Mixology: A Ver...
    Manhattan: • Malört Mixology: Manha...
    Ranch Water: • Malört Mixology: Ranch...
    TikTok Channel: / unemployedwineguy
    Instagram: / unemployedwineguy
    Cameo: www.cameo.com/unemployedwineguy
    Discord: / discord
    Merch: www.pv3merch.com/

Комментарии • 255

  • @bradyblackburn4863
    @bradyblackburn4863 4 месяца назад +197

    This is the day PV3 went from reviewer of terrible alcohol to performance artist. I felt this one deeply.

  • @_Rezzik
    @_Rezzik 4 месяца назад +136

    I'm sorry that you hate yourself enough to do this.. We love your stuff man, malort or not!

    • @nolanwadr
      @nolanwadr 4 месяца назад +4

      Hey man stop telling him to not eat or drink (maybe even smoke?) malort

    • @llab3903
      @llab3903 4 месяца назад +4

      @@nolanwadrmalort dipped cigar when?

  • @lampoon9871
    @lampoon9871 4 месяца назад +53

    My 97 year old great grandmother says she hates being alive after having thick it anything, god bless PV3

    • @Nebulous_Neuhaus
      @Nebulous_Neuhaus 4 месяца назад

      It sounds like she won't stay alive for much more anyway tbh

    • @lisamillraney5382
      @lisamillraney5382 4 месяца назад +8

      speech pathologist here, have had to prescribe it for many patients, and can confirm it's pretty awful. :( I joked it made one lady who had not spoken since a stroke start talking again, just to ask for anything other than that. lol. Bless your granny!

    • @lampoon9871
      @lampoon9871 4 месяца назад

      @@Nebulous_Neuhaus in what world, galaxy, universe or dimension is such a phrase justifiably okay to say? That woman was born on a reservation to an Apache widow of the Bear Valley Massacre, she got a telegram about her brother dying in Japan in World War Two in a segregated schoolhouse with 25 total kids in it, long long after the invention of the telephone, because they wouldn’t give my people access to it. By the time they paved a road near her house she had 7 kids with no plumbing because they still neglected them, that’s in the 1950’s and 60’s. Her husband, my great grandfather, became sheriff despite his race, and was killed almost immediately for it. A rape victim, that still, to this day, believes in the goodness of people. Despite shitlips like you existing. She was driving until she was 94. She’s in great health and spirits for someone her age, still making cinnamon rolls by hand every morning. But if I had to live, at 97, in a world that left me behind when I was born, any inconvenience would push me to the edge too. Fuck you. May you live not even a quarter as long.

    • @lampoon9871
      @lampoon9871 4 месяца назад

      @@lisamillraney5382 she only drinks thickened cranberry juice for renal problems. Otherwise she’s in good health, thank you for those kind words.

  • @Bwethhh
    @Bwethhh 4 месяца назад +52

    PV3, long time fan here, watched almost every single one of your videos. You don’t have to keep entertaining us with the Malort. I mean, of course we love it, but at this point I can’t tell if you’re just doing it because it’s funny or if you feel an obligation to fulfill. You have no obligation to us lowly viewers, we all love you for who you are! If you ever decide it’s time to put the Malort away for good, we will all understand! PV3 Nation forever😎

    • @MisterBung
      @MisterBung 4 месяца назад +5

      Yeah I think it might be time to retire Malort before PV3 actually starts to hate what he's doing.

  • @chriswilbur1356
    @chriswilbur1356 4 месяца назад +19

    Im gonna have to put this on the cruel and unusual list

  • @deeobrien5417
    @deeobrien5417 4 месяца назад +40

    For some reason the way he was saying the variations of thick mixed with the moustache was so funny Jesus Christ he’s a mad man!!!

  • @RidiFPV
    @RidiFPV 4 месяца назад +30

    Oh god why😂😂😂

  • @pawelkowalczyk4583
    @pawelkowalczyk4583 4 месяца назад +19

    Malört: turning "Thick-It" to "Ick-It"

  • @thefuzzman
    @thefuzzman 4 месяца назад +33

    I'm actually gonna give you some props PV3. That could not have been worth anything, but you did it for the PV3 nation. Big props! 👍👍

  • @Real28
    @Real28 4 месяца назад +15

    Scoop falling in is just so on brand. As a regular with whey protein, man that was funny and relatable.

  • @katieamarsh
    @katieamarsh 4 месяца назад +13

    This will make an excellent series. You can even thicken up a nice wine.

  • @nappa0582
    @nappa0582 4 месяца назад +6

    I've never felt such pain and discomfort in my entire life as I feel right now. Partly because this is now a thing existing in the world and partly because PV3 DIDN'T finish it.
    I'd pay a small amount of money to hear him say "thhhicccc-it" again.

  • @natebell4764
    @natebell4764 4 месяца назад +6

    I feel like this is a step into a dark dark branch of the malort series; malort and increasingly harder drugs.

  • @grimcarnage4309
    @grimcarnage4309 4 месяца назад +12

    One of your best. One day there will be an infomercial about compensation for people who drank malort, and I'll think of you.

  • @Magmafrost13
    @Magmafrost13 4 месяца назад +2

    This is the only youtube video about alcohol I have ever cared about, but MY GOD is this man a good presenter

  • @yannahpeeps2002
    @yannahpeeps2002 4 месяца назад +17

    Seeing that title legit sent a shiver down my spine. Keep up the great work!

  • @DanaLeeGibson
    @DanaLeeGibson 4 месяца назад +2

    Your pain, discomfort, and disgust is the best thing in my life. Malört Ice cream!

  • @joegideon8461
    @joegideon8461 4 месяца назад +3

    Bite into the magic... Malört

  • @xPhobia89x
    @xPhobia89x 4 месяца назад +10

    The ladies are right loving the stash my dude 👨🏻‍🍳✨

  • @averyacheson9137
    @averyacheson9137 4 месяца назад +6

    This channel had only gotten better, like fine....something

  • @MrMetalforever5
    @MrMetalforever5 4 месяца назад +2

    One of those RUclipsrs I see in my subscriptions and feel happy that they’re still making content.

  • @hardcorepoore
    @hardcorepoore 4 месяца назад +6

    I'm very excited for the upcoming Thicc Cocktails series that this has inspired now

  • @Robb403
    @Robb403 4 месяца назад +3

    It's more of a choking hazard when you make it that thick. You could make a Malort cream pie with Malort infused whipping cream.

    • @robertl6196
      @robertl6196 4 месяца назад

      😮

    • @pariskt
      @pariskt 4 месяца назад +2

      A bakery in Chicago did that in 2017. It was pretty good.

  • @christianoliver3572
    @christianoliver3572 4 месяца назад +5

    Watch out for the chorro.
    The thing about Malört is that it probably tastes/smells the same going out as it did going in.
    If you stretch the culinary term porridge then this is what you have created:
    Malört porridge.
    Yum yum yum

  • @alk3g
    @alk3g 4 месяца назад +5

    I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thank you for your (drink) service!

  • @drengillespie
    @drengillespie 4 месяца назад +17

    This has to be a brilliant marketing strategy for Jeppson’s. Make it sound bad so people buy it. Then you realize how good it is with soju and elderflower liquor and keep going back. I’ll need to buy more soon.

    • @jasonwalk4257
      @jasonwalk4257 4 месяца назад

      I'll take malört over absinthe...infact, weird aftertaste aside, it's stupid sweet.

    • @joebidensdentures4541
      @joebidensdentures4541 4 месяца назад +4

      Who hurt you?

    • @Finwolven
      @Finwolven 4 месяца назад +4

      ... This is a cry for help if I ever read one. Jeppson's agents are in the room with you, right? Write a glowing review of Malört and Jaeger combination shot if yes, Malört and mint liquor if not.

    • @DJMcFlinty
      @DJMcFlinty 4 месяца назад +2

      I'll assume soju is some code for sock juice, I can see that covering over some the malort

  • @mantisxz
    @mantisxz 4 месяца назад +1

    I gotta say, the stache really took this video to a whole new level for me.

  • @thejasont847
    @thejasont847 4 месяца назад +1

    This is why the internet exists. Absolutely glorious!

  • @Ghandacity
    @Ghandacity 4 месяца назад +10

    PV3, you need to be open to the possible love in your life. If she digs your stache, she's totally a keeper. Sharing your financials is really just putting yourself out there, showing that you're ready for love.

  • @FLIrishmann
    @FLIrishmann 4 месяца назад +2

    This is just one step away from Malort jello shots

  • @whalehunter2009
    @whalehunter2009 4 месяца назад +6

    I want this to end

  • @TRACTOOOOOOOOOR
    @TRACTOOOOOOOOOR 4 месяца назад +2

    Gotta love mallort mixology

  • @Ekoorb001
    @Ekoorb001 4 месяца назад +2

    Absolutely lost it at “that’s shit… from a butt” 🤣🤣🤣💀

  • @jsc0625
    @jsc0625 4 месяца назад +2

    I know I need to be applauding you for this abomination (I am), but I can’t get over the great mustache and plaid shirt combo

    • @jasonblalock4429
      @jasonblalock4429 4 месяца назад +2

      He looks like a young Nick Offerman. Like from a Parks & Rec prequel.

    • @jsc0625
      @jsc0625 4 месяца назад

      @@jasonblalock4429haha I 100% agree!

  • @jonthomas3065
    @jonthomas3065 4 месяца назад +1

    We gotta get this guy on Xanthan Gum. Makes cornstarch look like child’s play.

  • @Pippa_McConnell
    @Pippa_McConnell 4 месяца назад +2

    A Thicket of Malort Reeds 🌱🌵🌿

  • @Christopher_Wheeler
    @Christopher_Wheeler 4 месяца назад +2

    I am, indeed, happy.

  • @srinivasansethuraman6486
    @srinivasansethuraman6486 4 месяца назад +1

    John Hodgman needs to be a special guest for one of these.

  • @rudetuesday
    @rudetuesday 4 месяца назад +1

    I was clenched and concerned while watching this.

  • @jonathankreamer
    @jonathankreamer 4 месяца назад +2

    Will It Thick-It?!
    Perfect title

  • @Ttamlin
    @Ttamlin 4 месяца назад +1

    Thick-it-ology. I like it. A nice break from the Malort might do your headspace some good, too.

  • @Xavier_Diabolu
    @Xavier_Diabolu 4 месяца назад +1

    2024, year of The Thickening.

  • @roahboah
    @roahboah 4 месяца назад +1

    That's a very Westworldian moustache, sir - you look like a regretful James Marsden. Also, props for THICKIN' IT UP

  • @intoxicatedmasculinity
    @intoxicatedmasculinity 4 месяца назад +1

    Malort Mixology Challenge:
    The Boulevardier, but replace the bourbon with malort

  • @42evad
    @42evad 4 месяца назад +1

    Filmed courtesy of a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 (tm)... while it was on fire. RIP IKEA men. Also liked and subscribed. Keep up the good work! ;)

  • @paulname5483
    @paulname5483 4 месяца назад +1

    This needs more views.

  • @aslurmyfrog
    @aslurmyfrog 4 месяца назад +1

    I think I'd go with moderate thickkkkkkkk just so it coats the tongue evenly. Godspeed, sir.

  • @Azhrei776
    @Azhrei776 4 месяца назад +1

    I came here for the stache. I was not disappointed.

  • @iwatchutube
    @iwatchutube 4 месяца назад +1

    Jell-o shot roulette with different alcohols! At least you can win a few!

  • @steveblue6508
    @steveblue6508 4 месяца назад +1

    That moustache looking good.

  • @BlackSharn
    @BlackSharn 4 месяца назад +2

    Thick-It is possibly the one thing that could make anything (Malort) taste worse. You don't get to take it quick like a shot. You have to swallow it and that takes extra seconds for the taste to linger.

  • @andyl2562
    @andyl2562 4 месяца назад +1

    I've been so excited for this since the first preview you put out.

  • @vwhawley
    @vwhawley 4 месяца назад

    I sat down to watch during my lunch and almost spit out my food when I saw the title.... I can't...I can't... man deserves a medal or some TUMS. But honestly, I wonder if Thick-It freezes, could do like solid frozen alcoholic popsicles.

  • @quagmiller
    @quagmiller 4 месяца назад +1

    Just the other day I thought "I wonder if Melort would be better thick?". Thanks for saving me from this. Now do that green fairy. Absinth goop would be fun to watch. Or 4 loko.

  • @TheyLoveThemLLC
    @TheyLoveThemLLC 4 месяца назад +1

    Pv3 hot with the moustache I'm weak

  • @glennotropolis
    @glennotropolis 4 месяца назад +1

    PV3 went from being abused by his ex wife to being abused with malort by his followers....
    Its a slight improvement 😅

  • @benjamingeiger
    @benjamingeiger 4 месяца назад +3

    You actually got off easy.
    It's 100x more disgusting when it's roughly the consistency of breakfast syrup, no matter what the liquid is.

  • @MaryShack
    @MaryShack 4 месяца назад

    It was like watching a horror movie, but I couldn't close my eyes because I was running on the treadmill. Then his reaction/description made me laugh. I really shouldn't watch these while running in the treadmill.

  • @ThomasInPrint
    @ThomasInPrint 4 месяца назад +1

    The drink was not as thick as your mustache. So thick, so pure, so gorgeous.

  • @fletcherjacobs3688
    @fletcherjacobs3688 4 месяца назад +2

    I have quit drinking for almost a year now but I’m always happy to see homie doing his thing

    • @plepgeat
      @plepgeat 4 месяца назад

      Sober 31 years and PV3 is my MAN!

  • @16mmmjr
    @16mmmjr 4 месяца назад

    "Well that's where that is! That... makes sense!" Lol

  • @Virgo559
    @Virgo559 4 месяца назад

    Absinthe + Thickit seems like the quckest way to see the arch-angels!

  • @nickh402
    @nickh402 4 месяца назад

    Love it!! ❤❤❤

  • @DaveBucklin
    @DaveBucklin 4 месяца назад

    Thanks! I *am* happy.

  • @tessat338
    @tessat338 4 месяца назад

    I would have no problem with PV3 pivoting from Malort Mixology to "Will it THICK IT?"

  • @BulyssesBwachowski
    @BulyssesBwachowski 4 месяца назад

    Loved you on Sandwiches of History. ❤

  • @jeffbruce
    @jeffbruce 4 месяца назад

    The hero we need!

  • @akinginfiction
    @akinginfiction 4 месяца назад +2

    The Thickening?!?!

  • @joebidensdentures4541
    @joebidensdentures4541 4 месяца назад +1

    My God. He did it. He really did it.

  • @meatyclown
    @meatyclown 4 месяца назад +1

    I want to get off Mr. Malort's Wild Ride

  • @saltythunderracing3273
    @saltythunderracing3273 4 месяца назад

    It's about damn time you treated yourself to a refreshing Malort Sunset (Tequila Sunrise with Malort).

  • @Razikido
    @Razikido 4 месяца назад

    Feeling like a jello Mallort is th next step

  • @karolynknight931
    @karolynknight931 4 месяца назад

    I needed this in my life today😂

  • @Dumbledof
    @Dumbledof 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for your sad, strange, contributions to science PV3

  • @ceemyk
    @ceemyk 4 месяца назад +1

    I feel like the whole channel is a big marketing stunt from malort. I'm intrigued to taste it 😅

  • @chrischaplin3126
    @chrischaplin3126 4 месяца назад

    Looking at your video list it looks like you survived this. Congratulations and I hope your liver is still functioning.

  • @needfunds
    @needfunds 4 месяца назад

    You were half way to death as soon as you opened the malort. You just kicked the other 50% into gear. We will remember you.

  • @billbrasky7540
    @billbrasky7540 4 месяца назад

    HELL YEAH PV BRAH!

  • @recyclops4035
    @recyclops4035 4 месяца назад

    I can’t believe you kept it in your mouth that long. TWSS.
    Love seeing your reactions anyway.

  • @Al-no2fm
    @Al-no2fm 4 месяца назад

    I'd love to see you in sketches. You seem like you'd drop right into any sitcom type thing.

    • @drengillespie
      @drengillespie 4 месяца назад +2

      On a podcast, John Flanders (PVIII’s real name) talks about his stand up and his history doing viral ads.

  • @iamthebatsy
    @iamthebatsy 4 месяца назад

    Thank you for your sacrifice o7

  • @delawaresace
    @delawaresace 4 месяца назад +1

    We like it thick!

  • @EricTheCleric93
    @EricTheCleric93 4 месяца назад +1

    Legend.

  • @Hooptedoodle
    @Hooptedoodle 4 месяца назад

    I for one am ready for the PV3's transition to the Thick-It era of somalier

  • @JohnSmith-pm4ul
    @JohnSmith-pm4ul 4 месяца назад +1

    Nice one bro😂

  • @UnlaunderedShirt
    @UnlaunderedShirt 4 месяца назад +2

    You are the truest hero of our times.

  • @jarredrodriguez3809
    @jarredrodriguez3809 4 месяца назад

    You have achieved greatness! Thick it drinks are the best 😅

  • @jonathankleinow2073
    @jonathankleinow2073 4 месяца назад +2

    You made Malört oobleck. Ooblört.

    • @tyormond7066
      @tyormond7066 4 месяца назад

      Apparently Ooblört means "oblivious" in another language. Presumably Swedish or Norwegian or something of that nature.

  • @abrahampringle8284
    @abrahampringle8284 4 месяца назад

    What a legend.

  • @joshgreen2164
    @joshgreen2164 4 месяца назад

    The soup strainer makes you look like a cop.

  • @fuzzyparker7045
    @fuzzyparker7045 4 месяца назад +1

    You're a braver man than I am😂🥰❤

  • @michaelolin2219
    @michaelolin2219 4 месяца назад

    Thank you PV3, thank you.

  • @PalEllingsen
    @PalEllingsen 4 месяца назад

    We need to go further. Make it like a Ben&Jerry flavors ice cream. Malört&Peanut butter Ice cream, or maybe Strawberry Cake & Malört.

  • @ryanvoight2201
    @ryanvoight2201 4 месяца назад

    I mean, honestly, Malört really doesn’t deserve anything more than weird lighting and iPhone footage.

  • @smexyapman
    @smexyapman 4 месяца назад

    Love it

  • @eronth
    @eronth 4 месяца назад

    Honestly, please hunt for a good thick-it mix. There's gotta be some legit potential there.

  • @robertl6196
    @robertl6196 4 месяца назад +1

    Now we're simply at the stage of self-abuse.

  • @emmyali920
    @emmyali920 4 месяца назад

    between the stache and the thick-it, you're becoming more and more sinister. What's next PV3? What's next??? I truly think this is a cry for help... and we've heard you, loud and clear sir. Help is on the way!!! 😂😂

  • @totemspiritfox5315
    @totemspiritfox5315 4 месяца назад

    You should've done all three thicknesses. DOO OVVEEERR!!!!

  • @chaoarecool
    @chaoarecool 4 месяца назад

    You have spared the wooden overlords this tragedy and we thank you for it