An American Royal with Bert Kreischer | The Tim Dillon Show
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- Tim sits down with Bert Kreischer about monetizing dreams, how the Ukraine war almost stopped 'The Machine' from being released and why Bert is basically Prince Philip.
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#TimGivesBack
Hearing Burt saying he hates people that talk about themselves is hilarious
I mean wouldn’t it make sense that the guy who loves talking about himself hates when others steal the light?
@@moonshine8255 except Bert actually did it 😉
Bert doesn't know who he is
Shoutout to Tim for not letting Bert interrupt him. Talked right through it 🫡
Tim sold mortgages on Long Island.....nobody will ever come close to the people he had to call on a regular basis at that job
This was the comment I was looking for. I seriously couldn't figure out if I should spend brainpower and time of my life listening to it, but now I will.
Tim is known for talking over ppl lol, the difference is, we want to hear what he is saying lol
There aren't enough podcasts of comedians talking about the comedy industry, instead of being funny! Such relatable topics such as- knowing Joe Rogan, monetizing your sleep, and hiring a personal assistant. Really deep and quality content guys!
He works so hard he didn't bother making a joke the whole hour!
😂
Long Live….Real Bastard Radio and Cum Town. They got it
☠️
😂 I get sick of the inside baseball
Bert has this unique brand of humbleness where he tells you he’s the best while also claiming everyone in his orbit that has any success is because of him.
Bert is the joke. That's all you had to say
"I don't think I die" - Bert
Bert went from "i work my ass off to earn everything i have" to "my dad was a lawyer in Florida for a long time" in less then 1 minute lol
Listening to Bert is like being around a 14 year old girl that is high for the first time. Every idea is profound
Why are you hanging around 14 year old girls
💀💀💀
@@Sludgedump ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em
@@Sludgedump some memories hang around longer than most real people.
@@nigWANTsomeDAnk got emmmm
Bert: Managers won’t exist in 5 years.
Bert 30 Minutes Later: Tim, you need to get a manager.
Lol good catch. He’s a fucking moron
Adderall and booze make the mind mush.
Hilarious
A lot can happen in 5 years. Not defending Bret in any way.
Ehh I mean this isn’t exactly an off point if they’re still relevant
Bert’s success is a constant reminder that dumb luck is a big factor in show biz.
*Hard Work. Dude is constantly working...you try doing that as high functioning alcoholic.
We only see one side of Bert in media and on stage. No fans or those lurking on RUclips videos will ever see the hard work and dedication comics have to their art. To each their own, but it is working for him and many people love it.
@@ZepsHeavensStairway exactly. I saw his show a few months ago and it was just amazing. Over 10,000 of us and he made sure everyone on his crew got a standing ovation and pictures with everyone for their Instagram. We were laughing the whole time and at the end there were even some tears...he's a genuinely good dude.
Emphasis on "dumb"
having a rich dad that can get you a tv deal?
bert immediately taking credit for Tim's career lol
Of course he did, self absorbed la hack
he's a complete corporate hack who now wants to rever to bring everything 'in-house.' I assume it'll be like one of those porn stars making fake home-movies
"Bert was the first guy in LA to put me on." -TD
@@imemberberry Tim mentions it all the time as well.
@@imemberberryit’s the fact that what Bert gleaned from that is “I’m good” “Tim makes ME laugh”. He can’t give praise without it coming back to him. I don’t hate Bert but the narcissism makes him unwatchable on most podcasts and now that he added the fake squeal laugh for viral clips makes him hack.
Bert taking credit for Tim blowing up is funnier than any joke Bert Kreischer has ever come up with in his life😂
Lol
I ve never wrote lol to anything Bett has ever said once so your already funnier then bert in my book
He really thinks that. Not Joe Rogan you know, the biggest podcaster in the world but fuckin Bert Kreisher.
Simple
The first time I’d ever heard of Tim Dillon he opened for Bart Chrysler.
00:22 "I'm a great scout, there's a couple of people where I silently take credit when they blow up"
Off to a great start, this will be fun. Never a moment of humility from Bert.
Or sobriety
@Laremy yep, sadly, the amount he drinks is 100% going to kill him in the foreseeable future. Always in denial saying he works out and stuff😂
@@jimjason5146 he pissed me off running that marathon.
I honestly have no idea how bert had made it this far as a “comedian”
Daddy's money.
He's not funny
it's purely because he hangs out with the right people, successful comedians
@@mbj920 that’s true but still blows my mind that people pay money to go see him take his shirt off and then nearly die from laughing at himself.
@@Ally.Cat.252 lmao we’re in the same boat, I actually know someone personally that seriously seems to think Bert is the funniest person alive. I do not understand it at all. I’ve consumed maybe 4 hours of content that included him in it, never once laughed at anything he’s said and it’s always about him. It’s one thing to make fun of oneself like Jim Gaffigan, it’s another thing to simply just constantly talk all about yourself in a bragging manner. Again, only from what I’ve seen so far. I did hear him admit here that he’s not as talented as Tim so at least he’s somewhat humble, but it doesn’t show much other times lol
Tim: it’s like MK Ultra programming
Bert: yeah ultra programming…
No Bert no
Bert:'i wanna be the amora, the little suckerfish that attaches itself to a shark and takes a ride'
It's actually called "Remora"
He is actually such a moron. And not even in an entertaining way.
This was the one I was coming for. I had to listen to that 3 times
Thats amoreee
No you guys don't understand, when he was first starting out in standup he could only afford the regular MK programming, and he saw Tom Segura get the MK Ultra and he was SO JEALOUS but he had to step on the jealousy and recognize that his MK would get Ultra one day
There couldn’t be a better guest for Tim’s audience to absolutely roast in the comments than Brent
Nah even the roasts aren't funny. They write themselves.
True
Ppl judge brent as a person, but he has transcended that. He is an idea. He is a lifestyle. He is art personified lmao
Roasting someone but not knowing their name is funnier😂😂😂😂
@@efrainmorales8679 than this SLIM70 guy doubles down calls him Brent again I’m weaker than shit 💀
Bert is so gross, it honestly amazing he has gotten anything out of life.
Yet you must ask yourself how he’s made it and you haven’t. Make a plan dog.
Rich parents help...ask Hunter.
@@TheAshleywiggins 💀
It shows how drugged up America has become.
get a life nerd lmaooo
"I do me. That’s all I give a fuck about. I don’t wanna lose any of my attention about me." ..we know Bert, we know.
Tough to lose attention considering the fact he is always sucking himself off for doing nothing.
Its crazy how he seems successful but everytime I go thru the comments of a pod he is on its just all hate 😂😂😭
@@ii_makeemfold_ii3264 Well.. The bitter comment more... And is there anything worse than going to the comments of a pod and seeing every comment being a glowing comment about how X comedian helps them in the darkest of times, etc...
Is that a Ted Bundy quote or from _American Psycho_ ?
so inspiring
Bert talking about dream advertising not ironically is genuinely terrifying
Tim I’m glad you finally found your true calling as a Trader Joes manager
Haha!
I disagree I think he is more of a Key West lesbian
Lmfaoooo😂
💀
“Hey Tim, when is the garlic naan and chicken tiki masala coming back in rotation??”
Bert is insufferable haven't skipped an ep in along Time..
You’re not missing out. It’s just Bert rambling the whole time with no real laughs.
Yeah, hard pass.
glad we all share the same sentiment, how's this guy still relevant
Bert isn’t funny.
I'm determined to get through it, but I've switched away 3 times and I'm only 15 mins in! Wish me Luck!
I saw Bert was on and I wanted to write in the comments how bad he is, but I saw a collective disdain for him and my heart grew ♥️
Truly a beautiful moment
Same
"Maybe the world ain't so bad after all"
same. i love how Tims fans are, glad we all agree about Bert. makes me happy
This was literally me!!
I'm going to comment my own one anyways, but I want to show your comment some love first!
At one point I found Bert funny, but then I quit heroin and finally see the errors of my ways. Thank you tim for the inspiration 🙏
Heroin is the drug. a "heroine" is a heroic female character in literature and film.
@@lylechipperson3407 my bad I relapsed before writing this
😂😂
@@24749ersrock I'm phucking dead 😂
Nah heroin addicts are too smart for Bert. This guy’s comedy is more for people who huff glue or gas
I love Tim Dillon. He's like a thinner, funnier, and less gay Bert Kreischer.
This joke was hilarious on JRE
Omg this wins lol 😂
Thinner?
I was listening on Spotify and was so bummed this guy was on, that I had to come to RUclips to see the comments and got cheered back up😂
Your username cheered me up 🍻
Bert's comedy is for people who have no inner dialogue
Bingo
Gold
Hahaha definitely
This is funnier than anything Bert has ever written.
Surely he can't be worse the Schaub
The new episode of The Tim Dillon Show is the highlight of my week and seeing Bert as a guest made me realize I need to elevate in life. Not two minutes in and hearing Bert talk sapped all my energy. I made it 20 minutes before I had to tap out so at least I didn’t get to hear his annoying squeal laughter
good for you man
yeah I just can't watch anything this guys on he ruins everything
He’s so excited to tell you his boring stories
I was worried about this. My heart sank when I saw the notification. Is it even worth it to listen to?
@@moneycrab perfectly put 😂 he’s truly awful
You know it's bad when Tim is the healthiest-looking one in the room
Why even have this guy on? Now we have to wait another week to actually watch an episode.
Tim is returning a favor.. In his mind.
Imagine how successful Bert could be if he was anywhere near Tim's level.
His genius is appealing to dumb people - bigger market.
Pretty sure Tim doesn’t sell out arenas.
Michael Bays movies make millions, doesn't make him a good filmmaker.
William Hung sold out arenas.
Tim sucks. You just like him because he says Epstein, and Laurie Lightfoot. Grow up
Bart barely did his fake laugh this episode. Is the mountain of hate he receives on every podcast finally reaching his ears?
Noieee-eeee-eeee-eeee is what it sounds like and it’s so fake!
Blurt has a laugh similar to a aztec death whistle, which comes in handy for shu-ing away scouts so that burnt can scout up and coming comedians such as Timmy by "having him on his podcast".
Thank you for inviting and having and overweight lobster from Hollywood on to your podcast. It has inspired me and gives me hope to follow my dreams like nothing ever has before. I owe you everything
Overweight lobster made me chuckle
This is the natural environment of the Baby Walrus. Wearing a crushed velvet track suit, squatting in a recliner, sipping wine and talking about how great he is.
Leann just put a fresh nappy on him before the pod.
His success is validating/reinforcing his delusions
It's getting unbearable!
I I I me me me I I I me me me
While selling out arenas, making tens of millions of dollars a year, putting on up and coming comics, giving hours of free content a week, and being way happier than 99% of us ever will be, god bless this man
My favorite part is Tim hastily interrupting anytime Bork tried to go on one of his tangential superlatives
“Tangential superlatives”
This is perfectly said, sir. 🏆 this describes Bert’s presence on any pod.
Necessary interruptions.
Bert is a legend in his own mind…
Berts problem is that he gets all hyped, "wait wait wait" and then follows up with NOTHING, and after being let down hundreds of times that way you start to despise him.
Also that shirtless standup special was awful
He's so annoying
Holly shit I hadn’t realized this but that is exactly what it is
the master edger
Just glad Tim made him wear a shirt.
20:30 “I know I’m good at selling me, to people, that like me”
Simply prophetic brunt. Bravo.
Ikr, that's like saying "I know I'm good at selling tea, to people, that like tea."
He's something else.
I don't like Bert either, but you don't seem to know what prophetic means. 😖
Wow Bert talking about his career is something I’ve only heard 11 times now
Wow, someone shitting on Bert. Something I've only heard 1111111 times now.
@ & for good reason
These podcasts where comics talk about how hard comedy is and how they're so successful because of how talented and selfless they are really make me laugh.
Finally, somebody said it.
It's getting that way! This shit would never fly here in the U.K. Regards, Richard
@@RichardRatner.1972 Stewart Lee must look at Bert Kruise-ship and just go, "oh, is that what comedy is now? Fuck me."
@@GordonCaledonia Lol ! Agreed!
Right??? Like not everyone can do it because these 8 comics say how funny THEY are and can tell when someone can blow up. Hanz Kim really isn't funny, David Lucas is pretty good. Bert actually is not funny. Rogan is sometimes, his podcast is fantastic. Tim is great. Bill Burr is in my top ten.
Never realized how humble Bart is
Literally never😂
HAHAHAHA
He's really showing his true colors
He said to Tim "I wish I had your talent". He's really self aware
who's Bart?
I just love these comedic podcast’s episodes where all the comedians talk about is inside baseball after saying “We’ll talk off air” but immediately precede to talk on air about it.
I’m a simple man, I see Bert, I get disproportionately upset find an old episode of whatever show it is and listen instead.
a man of class
typical spanish type.
@@100canadianmaplestirup8 You're rude for a Canadian.
Simple yet effective
I'm a simple man. I see something with Bert, I roll my eyes and proceed to put it on because I lowkey enjoy him in doses. His shamelessness is refreshing. I find his massive ego and hateable characteristics amusing.
I feel like the comedy bubble is probably reaching a bursting point when you have comedians openly talking about the money they are making, the lifestyle they are enjoying and the road map on what to do and how to achieve it.
Yeah, comedians never bragplained about the luxurious lifestyle they have, not even Eddie Murphy or Chris Rock. Bert is NOT a comedian to me, he's like an amateur stockcar driver who stumbled into big time comedy success.
GPT will eliminate comedians and other similar forms of entertainment very soon. GPT could imitate and do better jokes than Bert with a percent of its capabilities.
@@jakem8504 God willing...
@@jakem8504 GPT is not that good, but Bert is that bad so yeah.
I think it's more that these stand-ups were in the best position to benefit from podcasting since adding humour to nearly anything makes it better. So their standup becames a bit more successful, and somehow it all turned into a circle jerk of standup-showbiz shop talk instead of anything either interesting or funny to listen to. Them being rich only adds to a trifecta of being unrelatable, uninteresting, and inevitably annoying.
Tim low key lighting Bert up as a hack is genius.
most comedians are comedians, Bert really broke the mould with that one. His whole comedic styling is that he is so stupid that he is like a parody of himself
Most famous hack of all time. Luckily there's plenty of stupidity in the world so he capitalized
hes just a chill dude
@@grifswan He's not chill at all he's insufferably insecure. Count how many times he said "I" in this video. It's impossible, because it's every fucking entrance he speaks. Constantly reassuring himself. Like a neurotic teenage girl.Every topic of discussion he re-directs into something about himself
😂
He's an ignorant unfunny hack
Bert laughing about the idea of talking to “regular people”. Wow such a cool guy
I hope America implodes and everyone becomes broke and gangs end up running the land.
I yelled in my car
‘fuck you bert’
Apart from Tim I've tapped out of Podcasts by comedians. I don't think I know a group of people more self centric.
@@damionwhittington302Theo von is good
@@damionwhittington302 Matt and Shane’s also
“ No one cares, wrap this shit up we’ve had enough “ Tim roasting tf outta Bert for his machine story 😂😂
Burt reeks of desperation for approval....its wierd he does it on every show.
Says the guy who voiced this opinion to strangers on the internet 😂
Bert is just an insecure guy. It's what it is. I love the oaf personally, but to each their own... Others may be more... bitter?..
I think that’s his niche’, I guess….his brand of comedy
@dre009 nah I like Bert and I don't like bullys on the internet or otherwise how about instead of talking bad about a man who doesn't seem to have a bad bone in his body you go improve your life you simp
Whoooooooo are ya?!?!?
I wonder if Bert is aware that he constantly talks about himself almost nonstop.
He's got the teenage girl speak. Everything is "I" ... Just insecure taking about yourself 24/7.
This is the main bad thing about Burp Crashing-bore, he is a narcissist that never gets called a narcissist in an age when that term gets overused. He has no philosophical moments, no abstraction, it is, indeed, ALL ABOUT BERT. He wants to be a workaholic media mogul like Ted Turner but has the drinking habits of Lee Marvin. STFU, fatboy.
He most definitely does. He brings it up every once and awhile. I am apparently one of the few who can stand him.
Tim is so clever. He was waiting for the moment toward the end of the episode to undo Bert’s claim that he was responsible for Tim’s success.
I didn't watch because Bert is insufferable ... what's the timestamp?
Bert claims he’s responsible for Tim’s success: time stamp (0:00:20)
Tim tells Bert how he became famous: time stamp 1:34:10
Get a life LMAO
Some might argue that's a bad move because by then only about 20% of people are listening.
I woke up this sunny Easter morning to celebrate the resurrection of my Lord and listen to Tim.
Then I see Bert is the guest…. 😔
Right? Shit sucks
I'll take the crucifixion.
Bert's taking his God complex to another level with his Buddha impression
His disconnect from reality is reaching new heights.
I didn’t know buddha wore blue velvet matching sweats
Dude he looks so bad 😂
@@taniabluebell3099 Buddha was a telemarketing scammer like the rest of em turds
Tim really is the absolute best
Oh shit. Hell yeah😎 shoutout to you
Yooo!!!
I try not to hate people I’ve never met but Bert makes it hard
🤣 me too
Me too friend, me too
Bert never fails to ruin a podcast 😂
Him and drunk Joe!
He gets worse every appearance, his brain broke... ppl love hearing non stop compliments and what you were thinking when you met your friends... no, really, bert
Literally. Fuckin HATE this guy. I hated him before everyone else hated him
@@MOLTEN_IMP you’re a Tim Dillon fan 😂
He sounds like he talks with half a cup of water in his mouth at all times
Bert "My standup was so bad when I was young" Glad to see you are consistent as you get older.
I love how Bert says managers are on their way out and then 10 minutes later full throatedly tells Tim to get a manager.
There was a time where Tim was giving advice to another person in the comedy business and that person asked Tim how they could get more views and get the comments to be a little more positive. Tim told them, "Less talk about the business. No one cares."
And here we are.
Brent referring to a bottle of wine as a glass of wine is the most fitting slip ever.
Oh boy… this episode is gonna be as funny as Bert.
Damn this comment deserve more likes.
Oh boy.
Bert's the funniest comedian since Amy "big rig" schumer
Why is Bert popular? That Russian story isn’t even good. I never made it to the end.
@@Dem0n_baby it’s terrible.
So nice of a comedian like Tim to have a regular guy on his show
30 seconds in and Bert already made Tim's entire world about himself.
Bert makes every podcast a rough listen
He thinks he is one of the GOATS of podcasting, too, which is so surreal. The art of podcasting is to NOT be a narcissistic bore, but in that sense he IS THE GOAT. Podcasting is NOT about megalomania but 80% of them are just that, only a few a truly philosophical and open discussions on fascinating topics.
He was good on MSSP
@@O_Canada lol you’re literally watching it while commenting, I swear Reddit truly rotted a lot of these young minds
I love how it’s obvious that Bert still thinks his career is more important than being a good husband and father 😂
Tim is like a huge great white shark in the sea of comedy. A sole alpha built to thrive in its environment. In Bert we have a remora. You know the fish that sticks to shark and eats the scraps. It gets fat because it’s clinging to the sharks. However, it can’t survive without the big sharks it sticks itself to.
Bert made this point himself
Only this commenter pronounced it right. Bert called it an “Amora”
@@morgangreen2601 but he thinks he's the shark
Wait till you discover Redbar
Beautiful callback
Bert is the kind of comedian that needs 5 minutes at a table with Patrice O’Neal.
He's like a photonegative image of Patrice. "Why does this middle aged drunk guy have his shirt off like he's a Red Hot Chilli Pepper, ya feel me?"
You know that they spent "a lot" of time together, did shows together and that Patrice gave him a lot of tips? Most comedians love Bert because he is fun to hang and he is generous in his special way. Even Burr loves Bert. And he is pretty good at marketing and selling stuff, he sold more shows to networks than most comedians. You don't have to like him, but he has some qualities.
@@vanivari359 Drinking himself to death will be his legacy, mark my words.
@@vanivari359 Here's Bert telling a lame story about Patrice... badly: ruclips.net/video/fnnnnR2QzXs/видео.html
Bert sounds like a terrible friend and vice versa. He just loves to drink and talk about himself. He'll probably talk at his own funeral... shirtless.
@@vanivari359 people tolerate Bert, they don't find him insightful or funny. I've listened to every bit of Patrice Oneal content ever made and he never mentions Bert Kreischer.
Bert also invented bypass surgery, spark plugs, and Kevlar. Brilliant guy!
🤣🤣🤣
Burt needs a Whitney Cummings level reality check from Tim.
🙏🏼
Nah Tim respects Bert. Bert is a solid businessman and hustler and that something Tim respects
@@Denariusjay Whitney is both of those things. She is constantly complemented on being a boss type of girl by her comedian friends. Tim just has an easier time attacking women, which I am perfectly okay with.
Only Tim, a national treasure, could have me sit through a conversation with the dumpster fire that is Bert.
Tim does it to show off his conversational versatility. The man could carry a conversation with an abandoned truck, a sleepwalking joe biden, or perhaps even a late-stage-dementia Whitney Cummings.
Tim calling Bert's wife a stupid b*tch for not having Clear was absolutely hilarious
Louis, Dan, and Jay put Tim on the map. Bert trying to take credit is hilarious
Preach
Yeah that’s where I found Tim. Then watched him blow up on Rogan.
Wrong. Rogan did.
Jay?
Luis*
There are only 1000 comedians in the world, and Burt is 175 of them.
Can you imagine the 50 year old Bert at the 1994 Montreal Comedy Festival? He'd be beaten to death.
The rest are remoras clinging to his fat red ass
1:12:40. This time stamp is why everyone hates Bert.
Bert looks and acts like some guy from a trailer park that won a $5K scratch off.
I love that Bart is famous for having a SERIOUS drinking problem.
Yes, very original, no other comic has thought of becoming an alcoholic before
1:48:00
“You better love the music”
Tim loves the music and Bert loves indulgence. That’s why Tim will be timeless and Bert will fade away when Rogan is out of the spotlight
Almost a moment of genuine self reflection when Burnt realized that there's people out there who look at him as sad
Time stamp?
Burnt 😂😂😂
I think I speak for most people now when I say "Seriously, enough Bert now. We get it. Please go away, at least for just 10 minutes!"
Bert is proof that anyone can make it in show business. As long as you have a wealthy enough father lmao
cope harder lmao
yeahh his father was definitely the one that gave him the position in front of some clubs handing out flyers just to get some money and minutes on stage 😂😂 its funny how everyone thinks that every comedian has to come up from a terrible family or have gone through horrible things.. 😂😂
The saddest part is Bert considers himself a party guy bc he drinks 6 beers. He’s like a high schooler. As the great Daniel Tosh once said “grow up and do coke like an adult.”
I know. In Scotland, he'd be called a lightweight drinker. Rose wine? LOL! But he clearly is an alcoholic, but tries to broscience it away and delude himself and others go along because the big money is now pouring in - at age 50, thirty years into this desperate saga for success and recognition, if you can call it that. Take a year off, Bert, or you'll be dead before you can see Trump run America from Riker's Island.
Nah he's a true alcoholic, he won't say how much he drinks and he drinks all day
Oh, it’s a Bert is the center of the universe therapy hour. -yaaay-
Sipping wine, in a track suit, a grown man sitting cross legged in a chair looking like an actual puddle, talking about amazing and rich you are.
and you are nothiing lolol
@@boxing962 bert?
@@ladeacarr4245 another automated bot response making the same joke over and over and over and over and over.... Like every incel in this thread ahahaha
Bert forseeing himself in 10-11 years to be in a good enough shape to keep hardcore touring is adorable. Before my father died at age of 56 he looked exactly same red and bloated as Bert right now. 🤣
Bert’s alcoholism is showing bad
I'm amazed this guy is still alive. John Candy was the same. Candy ate, drank, smoked like a beast and he SEEMED okay, he WAS happy, loved his family, but he kept pushing the limits and died age 43, the age I will be in June. Scary. Save the whole "dying" thing for when you're 75-80, folks, eat healthy, it's not hard, not complicated.
i bet burt is gone in the next two years
@@jlllx Oh definitely. No doctor would disagree with that. But Bert's fake friend enablers would just laugh it off and pass the $1500 whisky to him. THE MACHINE! Yawn.
@@headfullofacid8088 honestly surprised he is still alive.
With success comes conceit and I think I have had enough of that from a drunk. Too much Bert insulting other people.
Drunk comedians stink. All the greats STOPPED drinking by age 50. The exception is Doug Stanhope and he tried back in 2011 was it? He was so filled with bumbling anxiety being sober he knew on a spiritual level that he HAD TO be a drunk comedian, whereas Bert is a hack both sober and drunk, shirt or no shirt. I wish him well, get off the booze, Bert, you have responsibilities, you aren't Mitch Hedberg.
the way he talks about his wife too. like dude, CHILL
I kinda enjoy listening to delusional people, just to see how far they take it.
Bert: Managers are over.
Also Bert: You should get a manager 🤣
Another modern classic!
Tim : "its like mk ultra programming"
Bert : "yeah , ultra programming"
He is so very dumb dumb dumb
Bert is proof being Rogan’s friend can make you a career
Perhaps. But eventually the gravy train has to stop. Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook used to be huge. Now, look at them!
Ari Schaffer is utterly talentless too
@@LazarusSlade that has nothing to do with Rogan making someone’s career … which was the OP
Right… cause Bert isn’t responsible for his own success… right…
@@Knight3434 he’ll be opener for someone playing for 15 people
Was listening to the audio and felt the need to come here to mention how Bert makes everything he touches completely unlistenable. Glad to see that feeling is universal.
Bert and Rogan are the only comedians that can consistently not make me laugh 🤣
Rogan's stand up is very odd, it's like he has overworked his bits to the point of them sounding fake, like a great song that was overdubbed to death, autotuned and sped up by 1/8 second.
rogan just has poor timing, throws off how funny his bits are. bert tho, has nothing funny to say. that's why he takes his shirt off. laugh at him is at least something.
Rogan consistently/unavoidably tries to be the Second Coming of Bill Hicks. He overworks his joke premises to the point they're forced and contrived. Burnt just sucks. Period.
Yup.
The only business Bert should be in is janitorial
I don't care about Bert's "struggle" one bit
He has never ever ever struggled. Good honest Americans are HOMELESS right now and Bert couldn't care less, as he has his suitcase of booze, his media empire dreams and being able to talk about himself 100% of the time.
Man i feel so bad for him, cant believe his dad was a lawyer
Behold, the avatar of insufferability, the patron saint of the people of WalMart, the only complete hedonist that brags about how much he works while simultaneously describing it as the most fun thing he’s aware of: Bort Chrysler.
He’s not a bad person at heart, that person just never actually exists, because a drunk lives on top of it.
1:34:15 Tim straightened Bert out on who is responsible for his success. That was an hour and a half long slow burn.
Tim could troll Burt right now while being funny without him even knowing it
He was 💀
I hope he was.
@@BRAVENmusic Yes he was lol I wrote that comment the first five minutes of the episode
I'm going to get my real estate license, move to Malibu and work my ass off to become a big time real estate agent....just so Tim Dillon can prank call me
Find me someone’s podcast Bert didn’t ruin
No, thanks
He's ruin his mother funeral with a megalomaniac eulogy.
Jre
Hey babe
mssp was fine i guess
The good news is it'll take Bert at least 2-3 more years to put out another special so he won't be infecting our favourite podcasts until then.
I think you mean he has 2-3 years before cirrhosis takes him off the podcast circuit.
@@holdensieler I've found that such parasites tend not to die and just linger around for years. Dude's probably gonna break 90.
@@holdensieler Heart attack. He has heart attack face, which is a real phenomenon.
Despite everyone hating on Bert, I admire how he keeps it real. He’s an absolute master of fake business and isn’t afraid to share the strategic thinking that somehow translated to real success. The American Dream?
I love Timmy D so much I'm willing to endure 2 hours of Bert's insufferableness
Delusional drunk I see liver failure for his next special
I'll be skipping this video... that whole circle jerk of podcast comedians (Bert, Segura, Tommy) is insufferable.
I can't do it unfortunately... bert is way to annoying
can’t
He so rarely does long episodes anymore, too. This was so boring
Tim is very smart and naturally funny and Bert is 100% a hack
Bert is living proof some people can fail upwards
20 mins in and I'm done. Please don't ever subject us to this again Tim
Ya same
Bart looks like a character from an Adam Sandler movie.