He Named His D&D Character After RACISM - RPG Horror Stories

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  • Опубликовано: 4 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 191

  • @beansandboarsontherun5762
    @beansandboarsontherun5762 3 месяца назад +311

    When Crispy said "I can't believe I used to watch this" about CinemaSins..... i felt that

    • @WTFisTingispingis
      @WTFisTingispingis 3 месяца назад +71

      CinemaSins and similar channels and creators have fucking ruined critique and media literacy.

    • @thegamingguy8636
      @thegamingguy8636 3 месяца назад

      The only good one is Cinema wins​@@WTFisTingispingis

    • @michaelgamel5915
      @michaelgamel5915 3 месяца назад

      Im curious who else is there i know about how bad cinemasins is but whi else is there?@@WTFisTingispingis

    • @nikogarcia201
      @nikogarcia201 3 месяца назад +39

      Me too. Seriously, that guy would make anything a sin for the stupidest reason.

    • @AnInsaneOstrich
      @AnInsaneOstrich 3 месяца назад +54

      Switching to CinemaWins was a really good idea, not only is it far more positive it also does have some more in depth analysis of the movies at the end

  • @plasmatic210.
    @plasmatic210. 3 месяца назад +144

    “That would be a lot of work in editing” was a good goof. I’m here for it

  • @phobiawitch835
    @phobiawitch835 3 месяца назад +18

    The “Orcs are cool, not creepy” line is one I resonate with HARD! I have played several orcish characters (half and full), and even have some concepts I want to play in the future with orcish heritage. But I’ve always seen the whole “Orcs raid and pillage and R-word” trope and gone “NOPE”. My first was a half orc from a “One Night Stand” between his nomadic orc mom and human farmer father (he got dropped on dad’s doorstep at a year old). Boy was a SWEETHEART who just wanted to use magic to heal people, and follow his goddess Sarenrae. Yes he had fire magic too for those that redemption could not save. My other I’ve played long term (and STILL play) is a Full Orc who was adopted by human parents. The only thing “orc” about him is his looks and his first name. Otherwise, he’s basically a human noble. No joke, he actually has to ask the half orc bard-barian in the party about orcish culture cuz he’s only heard stories about what full orcs are like (he’s NEVER met another full orc at all). And it actually kinda played into his he and the druid started dating too. The druid was from Neverwinter, and orc raids were pretty common up there. So the druid was hesitant about my orc. But they get along well, and after saving eachother a few times, the druid asked my orc out. They actually had their first kiss recently on a boat, and it was cute.
    I’m tired of people saying “oh, I’m an orc, I HAVE to commit terrible actions because it’s in my BLOOD”. Nah, man. Fudge off with that shiz. Gimma massive sweethearts with tusks they have to be gentle with and arms they use to break necks but also hug away bad feelings in their friends. GIMME GENTLE ORCS, DAMMIT!

    • @gregoryvn3
      @gregoryvn3 3 месяца назад +4

      You. I like you.

    • @littlelemonaide4223
      @littlelemonaide4223 Месяц назад +3

      In the first campaign that I briefly attempted to run, two players submitted half-orcs who were the most wholesome characters of the party. One was a bard who was ace and liked to wear flower crowns. The other was a cleric whose only possession at the start was a cooking pot his parents used to make baked beans in. His family used to run a bean farm before a group of raiders came and slaughtered them

  • @zacharysieg2305
    @zacharysieg2305 3 месяца назад +41

    The first paladin I encountered was really well-done; his player had the *best* one liners. My favorite is still one he gave a raider attempting to attack someone else: “I don’t recall giving you permission to leave!”
    For one reason or another, that player later rolled up a wizard who’s just as memorable, but I will always remember Rylanor the Unbroken.

    • @krystlvines
      @krystlvines 3 месяца назад

      Damn, that dude has good taste

  • @etcetera1995
    @etcetera1995 3 месяца назад +17

    A friend's paladin once shamed a young dragon into ceasing its rampage.

  • @yenwai9113
    @yenwai9113 3 месяца назад +74

    "Rodents are friends, not food"
    Someone didnt keep Astarion in their party for long i feel :P

    • @SeventhGod77
      @SeventhGod77 Месяц назад

      Attractive vampire rogue isn’t worth killing rats sadly. Rats are cool :)

  • @gayandromeda
    @gayandromeda 3 месяца назад +42

    the brontosaurus returned in a skit lol. i love this bit

  • @cervicalvertebrea
    @cervicalvertebrea 3 месяца назад +41

    I played an oath of redemption tiefling paladin. She was a bit of a pacifist, but managed to contribute to conflict by blocking and taking damage. One time she trapped an enemy in a small room so he couldn't join the rest of the conflict. In the final boss fight, her protection from evil spell saved the rogue from getting turned into a mind flayer spawn.

  • @franciscobrisolladeoliveir9596
    @franciscobrisolladeoliveir9596 3 месяца назад +28

    Oh my God, my story got featured here. Love your videos Crispy also sorry for the quality of the writing, English is my second language and what happened to Kyle was a very short event and I thought it didn't need a big cast and stuff
    When the story with Kyle happened it was around 2019 so he's around in 19 years old by now and I do have an update on him since he somehow managed to track me down on Discord...He called me and the other guys of the server pdf files because "we talked to a minor". That's it, just talked because the writing server I was at had a VERY strict rule about keeping it PG because of other minors that frequented it and they were all advised to report anything suspicious or innappropriate immediately to the mod team.
    Suffice it to say, he didn't change at all

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 3 месяца назад +6

      So his parents are failures.

  • @СашаБемелле
    @СашаБемелле 3 месяца назад +38

    18:21 I had a similar story with a trans woman character: "I want to heal his mental problems and help him to turn into a cool guy." Eww.

    • @ninjabluefyre3815
      @ninjabluefyre3815 3 месяца назад +12

      That guy should try being a cool guy first. A cool guy wouldn't say that!

  • @Cheddarcorn
    @Cheddarcorn 3 месяца назад +24

    Nice Paladin story: (not really a story as I've yet to use this character but plan on it)
    an Oath of Crown paladin that's actually a pet cat who just loved his caretakers/owners so much that he gained magic to protect the kids. He goes by Sir Paw but actually has a super long string of names because he's actually had multiple families over the years. His style of Lay on Hands is making biscuits/purring

    • @Spagettigeist
      @Spagettigeist 3 месяца назад +6

      That sounds adorable *_*

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 3 месяца назад

      I feel concerned what you mean by biscuits made by a cat.

    • @sniderealism2410
      @sniderealism2410 3 месяца назад +5

      That is so fucking adorable! I'm stealing the idea.

    • @lechecbb
      @lechecbb 3 месяца назад +4

      ​@@ArcCaravan It's the term often used to describe when cats do the open and close motion with their paws, similar to someone kneeding dough, often on blankets and such when they stretch.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 3 месяца назад

      @@lechecbb Okay, I thought it was something more disgusting. It got me thinking of the worst ways to flavor healing.

  • @nardopolo7407
    @nardopolo7407 3 месяца назад +40

    the yuan-ti in the party would like to remind you rodents are indeed food.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 3 месяца назад +5

      Anything's food when you believe.

    • @SeventhGod77
      @SeventhGod77 Месяц назад

      Vegan yuan-ti. I can’t believe it’s not rodent (tm)

  • @MrWD-tp7oc
    @MrWD-tp7oc 3 месяца назад +16

    Dude the time traveller skit had me on the floor. So fricken good

  • @alicehiess6508
    @alicehiess6508 3 месяца назад +18

    hurray the clone is spared. on a side note i find the idea of crispy clones drawing lots to decide who dies in each skit hillarious

  • @dwaynejackson551
    @dwaynejackson551 3 месяца назад +48

    Bronto nuke is still funny.

  • @Blightthehedg
    @Blightthehedg 3 месяца назад +11

    oml i didnt think my story would get in! thank you so much! im so sorry it was a long story i felt like i just ranted the whole time lmao

  • @LucyBean42
    @LucyBean42 3 месяца назад +45

    I had an experience like the Mr. Gurr incident, Crispy covered it a few months ago. A player dropped a 10 month campaign cause I told him to stop shouting the F slur. His responses the rest of the game on his turn:
    I'm gonna go back to the wagon.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 3 месяца назад +2

      Reminds me of a man named Vinnie.
      He was a spicey boy.

  • @InDeathWeReturn
    @InDeathWeReturn 3 месяца назад +15

    I tend to just listen to the videos so when Crispy said "My solutions are usually a bit more final" along side the ominous music, I HAD to look at the screen.... not what I expected but that's a good thing 😅

    • @CocaColaStan
      @CocaColaStan Месяц назад

      What... what were you expecting? 😟

    • @InDeathWeReturn
      @InDeathWeReturn Месяц назад

      @@CocaColaStan wasn't expecting anything. I was definitely not expecting him to say it like that

  • @Arosukir6
    @Arosukir6 3 месяца назад +3

    Not the callback to the Brontosaurus story! Hell yeah! 😂😂

  • @АнастасияКравцова-щ9п
    @АнастасияКравцова-щ9п 3 месяца назад +9

    Is nobody gonna talk about 'bipidi-bazonka-zonks'? 'Cause I'm taking it for my day-to-day vocabulary

  • @Dungeonmage49
    @Dungeonmage49 3 месяца назад +5

    First off I’m glad my story got in and I would like to clarify something. Dave’s character was more absorbing them and not eating them like French cuisine.

    • @Sagesae
      @Sagesae 3 месяца назад

      I am really just imagining Dave as a gelatinous cube full of Mickey Mouse bodies ...
      My kid started playing in an afterschool club and made a homebrew Myconid race as well. They still play regularly and DM their own games and they're always insane. Always fun stories.

  • @FullOfLethons
    @FullOfLethons 3 месяца назад +8

    When 3rd edition came out I was so tickled that paladins could multiclass, even with rogues, that I created a Rogue Paladin.... She was chosen by the goddess of death and mostly focused on putting down undead. The rogue skills actually gave her a great diplomacy skill so we got to solve a lot of problems by making deals instead of violence.

  • @gsan6234
    @gsan6234 3 месяца назад +7

    Current (Good)Paladin:
    Haregon Paladin/Rogue, Oath of the Glory. Background: Knight of the Order.
    A street urchin that was orphaned very young. She did what she needed to to survive but found a thrown away Knight manual and their code of conduct. This became her new holy text and eventually had the opportunity to join the order.
    Monstrous races were treated like second class citizens but a good man, high in the order saw potential and afforded her the opportunity. She is a royal family geek/fan-girl and the devotion to the crown granted her her Paladin abilities.

  • @Crazor2000
    @Crazor2000 3 месяца назад +9

    Damm, the jokes of the intro story were so bad it became an area of effect vicous mockery.

  • @vincentmcclendon3744
    @vincentmcclendon3744 3 месяца назад +5

    You're just not letting the brontosaurus bit go lmao it slaps Everytime tho

  • @0MissNemo0
    @0MissNemo0 3 месяца назад +6

    21:05 my chatacter can see through that glamour, next time use balloons or im not following into battle

  • @chelonianmobile
    @chelonianmobile 3 месяца назад +5

    Okay, the orc name joke wasn't funny but what you made of it was XD

  • @Cannonhead
    @Cannonhead 3 месяца назад +2

    I took 1D4 psychic damage when that CinemaSins 'ding' sounded.

  • @andyenglish4303
    @andyenglish4303 3 месяца назад +2

    "Let's call him Kyle"
    Sounds more like a Cartman.

  • @AlasKenn1
    @AlasKenn1 3 месяца назад +6

    I made a character who through different iterations was a Half-Orc Fighter trying to rise above his station to become a Knight just like 3rd story. His name was Jeruuk, or Jerry for short and I always loved playing him just because he was not very smart but just so gosh diddily dang ernest. That's in turn, makes my disgust towards Sir Racial Slur burn so much brighter, cause it really is a concept that is really hard to mess up.

  • @wakaitsu
    @wakaitsu 3 месяца назад +9

    I have a character that was born specifically to catch creeps like the one in the last story. He was born a princess, but unfortunately, he was the last of 9 sisters and king needed a heir, so he paid a witch for a swap potion, turning him into a prince. He was fine growing up a man, until the truth came up, leading into existencial crysis for him and lots of "Am I even a real man? Maybe it would've been best to remain a girl? What others would say if they'd know?" questions in his head, so he left his kingdom and went on a pilgrimage of self-discovery.
    I ran the guy in multiple campaigns. One ended on a very nice note (he settled on being agender and stay with his group of adventurers after helping his older sister to take the throne and become that kingdom first ever lady monarch) but most didn't as creeps kept biting on, hook line and sinker. And well, I made them work for it, tracking down the witch to get the recipe for reverse potion, then gathering ingredients, and then finally when they triumphantly administered the potion, I would swap the pic in his bio from a pretty handsome young man to a cartoonishly ugly woman, think like witches in old cartoons, but with aggressively pink skin and dressed in equally cartoonish pinky fairy princess dress.
    Ah, the look on those faces! The mouth agape, the stuttering, the "you can do that to me!!!" glare! Just... delicious XD

  • @siobhanroberts2329
    @siobhanroberts2329 3 месяца назад +5

    Good lord. If I had a kid talking like this online they'd be spending the rest of the summer outside.

  • @isitleeyourelookingfor6352
    @isitleeyourelookingfor6352 3 месяца назад +1

    First concept is SO funny with better balance. Have them roll a saving throw with a REALLY low DC and I love it

  • @joaoguilhermeassim
    @joaoguilhermeassim 3 месяца назад +1

    I love how crispy still remember the brontosaurus story XD

  • @sesshomaru880
    @sesshomaru880 3 месяца назад +1

    Abaddon was my paladin of illmater he hated two things Demons and poverty so with all his adventuring he built homeless shelters all over to end homelessness forever. He also adopted 4 kids who he loves more than anything. I’m currently playing as one.

  • @mubbachubba6124
    @mubbachubba6124 3 месяца назад +1

    My favorite character was an oath of ancients paladin named Niala. She was basically driven by a moral framework of hedonism, ensuring that everyone was living a life primarily driven by pleasure for yourself and others. However she was motivated to get vengeance on the people who left her daughter in a coma which led her to Barovia. The clash between my character's beliefs being driven by bringing happiness to all, her motivation being vengeance, and living in a domain of dread was really fun.
    She also got into a very cute relationship with Ireena and had goat pupils.

  • @ramirezthesilvite
    @ramirezthesilvite 3 месяца назад +2

    "My solutions tend be a lot more final" -- Crispy 2024

  • @moki031698
    @moki031698 3 месяца назад +1

    10:18 Remember Crispy... Legends never die.
    ...
    I miss the Arrowverse...😢

  • @claudiamcfie1265
    @claudiamcfie1265 3 месяца назад +1

    I once used Dad Jokes for the hideous laughter spell...

  • @byronmolix7782
    @byronmolix7782 3 месяца назад +1

    "You named your character after what?" Unholy baby Pazuzu in an Orcus themed crib that person has the emotional maturity of someone a third his age.

  • @TearDownGenesis
    @TearDownGenesis 3 месяца назад +1

    Rather than 1d4 psychic, I'd just rule 1 damage. Saves a role, and keeps the damage minor.

  • @OneTrueBelmont
    @OneTrueBelmont 3 месяца назад

    In our CoS campaign, our paladin is an Ichiban AU so he's a lovable himbo of a paladin who is learning how to embrace his class over time.

  • @KathrynBurke713
    @KathrynBurke713 3 месяца назад

    I've never played a paladin but I'm about to for the first time in a friend's campaign. However I'm aiming her to be a wholesome. It's for a home-brew with some stuff taken from Heliana's Guide to Monster Hunting. I'm gonna be a Golynn (a 8 foot tall, 400 pound anthropomorphic pangolin) that's taken the Oath of the Harvest, which has tenets that focus on helping others, especially through the act of cooking food for them, and also giving those who have done wrong a chance to redeem themselves, while acting in the interest of the greater good. Her background is that she was orphaned at a young age due to poachers hunting her family, and was taken in by a halfling family that lived in a farming community. I'm planning on her being soft spoken, and a bit of a mother hen to those in need, but being more than willing to be mama bear if those who seek to do harm refuse the chance to mend their ways. Don't have a name yet for the character, but I'm looking forward to playing them. I'm going to make sure she doesn't fall into the "Problematic Paladin" pit that sadly seems to be a thing in the dnd community.

  • @AntonioHachi
    @AntonioHachi 3 месяца назад

    Funny little story about my friend. He's a super nice person who is kind to everyone and can't even comprehend why people would do anything cruel or illegal. As such this extends to all his dnd characters and of course his favorite class is paladin. When our friend group all started playing Baldur's Gate, his first character was of course a paladin too. But for some reason he was getting upset cause the game kept making him an oathbreaker. He had no idea what he was doing that the game considered evil. Finally we told him it's cause he was killing all the goblins.... while they were still friendly to his character. He hadn't even given the goblins the chance to talk and had just started blasting the moment he saw them at their war camp. They may have been bad, but at that moment they were considered friendly NPCs and he was so mad that he had to pretend to be nice to them

  • @M_Alexander
    @M_Alexander 3 месяца назад +2

    "Boys will be boys" is for when a group of guys who don't know each other will spontaneously work together to dig a really big hole, or how if you leave a person alone in a room for fifteen minutes with a device that will shock them, more than half of guys will choose to shock themselves.
    Harassment and slurs are something else

  • @nickmillar999
    @nickmillar999 3 месяца назад +1

    I’ve been running a year and a half long campaign for a party of 4 (originally 3) with a Vengeance Paladin among its ranks and he’s fantastic. An absolute monster in combat but he’s been a great relief from all the horror stories I hear about paladins here

  • @Lunasera
    @Lunasera 3 месяца назад

    My best friend played a wonderful paladin. We were playing Pathfinder first edition and he played a lawful good paladin of Iomedae. But not the "lawful stupid" meme kind.
    Craiden was an aasimar, passing for a human and kinda the moral compass in our diverse group. Our dwarven cleric was LG (but he tended to lean into LN), the human magus was NG, the elf rogue was CN and my half-elf beastmaster-hunter-ranger Melusine was CG. So a pretty spread of alignments.
    Craiden would do kind things, putting importance on helping NPCs when the others were hesitant. At the same time he was always looking out for every member of the group, keeping the rogue out of trouble and lending an ear to Melusine when she was a bit overwhelmed.
    One time while helping with fighting off undead a wounded NPC asked us to deliver a letter. The rogue and my character read it in secret and found that it contained information on both of us that we didn't want to get out. We decided to keep the letter, but Melusine had a hard time lying to Craiden. (Honestly, I always rolled really well on deception except when I tried to lie to Craiden, then the 1s would come out)
    So in the end she told him that there was information in the letter that could hurt her and she would prefer to not deliver it. To which he came up with the idea to make the letter unreadable before delivering it so he would keep his word and the information would not get around.
    Sadly the campaign had to end cause he died after a house fire. (We never got clear information but it was most likely smoke poisoning)
    I will always miss him and remembering his paladin will always be one of my fondest memories.

  • @nobodishere
    @nobodishere 3 месяца назад

    Positive Paladin Story: I'm in a very new campaingn currently, playing a paladin and acting as the "experienced" player of the group (DM has also played before, dming is a first for him though) the other two players are completely new to dnd and need help even telling their dice apart xD. So far we've done a session 0 including a tutorial encounter (eg a bit of roleplay, some exploration and a small combat). The new players both made the classic edgy first characters, and I love them a lot honestly. Anyways, my paladin is built to be a good support for the group and someone to lean on in any situation, while not taking the spotlight away. He has strong stats and can do very good demage in combat, in roleplay he's a little cinnamon bun and friendly to npcs while also not being one to throw crazy plans of the other party members under the bus. We also played a first session, which was absolutely hilarious, dnd puzzlesolving at its finest (in other words every one of us missing the points of the puzzles and working out convaluted solutions). The campaign isn't very far yet, and we're trying to switch up dming so I'm the one preparing the next session, but its looking like its gonna be tons of fun!

  • @SpazaliciousChaos
    @SpazaliciousChaos 3 месяца назад

    That intro story shares a premise with Dungeons & Daddies, where each dad joke made did psychic damage to everyone who heard it, in or out of game. It quickly got dropped 5-6 episodes in after it became clear that the jokes were the only reason the party had to be saved from a TPK at least twice an episode.

  • @VancePantss
    @VancePantss 2 месяца назад

    I have a Kobold Oath of Glory Paladin dedicated to Bahamut named Avocado. He is just a wholesome little folk hero fella. My party members threw him at a summoned horror at the end of our campaign and I landed the final blow on the enemy.

  • @sparrowshellcat
    @sparrowshellcat 2 месяца назад

    I played a multi year campaign (Arcanis, which used 3.5 if anyone recognizes it) and out Paladin was from the God of War, and he was amazing. His armor constantly bled human blood, but man could he deal amazing damage, and the fact that he was literally a paladin of the War God - also the god of fire - meant that killing and warring and lighting things on fire meant he was following his gods wishes.
    Also, conveniently, my character the Cleric of the god of Demons, Oaths and Magic could fulfil her oath to drink human blood once a month by drinking a cup of blood from his constantly bleeding armor! It seriously dripped blood everywhere. We used it as a way to get back together if the party split.

  • @ArcCaravan
    @ArcCaravan 3 месяца назад

    My first memory of DnD paladins was a certain vampire NPC in a streamed pirate campaign. It was naturally wonderful.

  • @AzureKyle
    @AzureKyle 3 месяца назад +1

    Character names I've used that were actually funny were Dixie Normus and Mike Hunt, but Nick Gurr is not funny at all. Also, who wants to bet he made himself an orc because of the racist connections some people tried to make about orcs and black people?

  • @Gent742
    @Gent742 3 месяца назад

    Positive paladin story for ya.
    About a year ago I played a human dampyre paladin named Howard and he was about 175 years old.(we changed the dampyre to double the creatures age) He was built on the basis that him being so unremarkable is what made him special. But he basically became the father of the small party (more or less adopting our youngest member, who was a run away princess). I one shot the first boss and my character felt bad because the others didn't get a chance to fight him themselves. At the end of the game he took the party back to his cabin thay he left behind for this adventure and showed them his wife's grave to introduce them. After that they celebrated for the night then in the morning we all went out to the grave again and howard (after leaving a note that all of his belongs r now the partys) knelt down to meditate on the grave and finally died of old age

  • @awvi_vids
    @awvi_vids Месяц назад

    8:58 it reminded me of one youtuber i watched few years back who was playing 'hello neighbor' and called the neighbor 'Kyle', I'm sure there was a whole combination on how he was just calling him Kyle with different tones lol

  • @JenniferFuss
    @JenniferFuss 3 месяца назад

    Positive Paladin story:
    In my group our Halflings decided to free an owlbear, kinda for the lols.
    My character noted it, saw how they were getting mauled, and despite being low on health aggroed the owlbear, saving her two group members while afterwards being eaten by the bear.
    Which was a very cool session.
    Followed by a not so cool aftermaths where the player of the elf decided to hang her body on a tree as a kind of respectful burial. Which I very much disagreed with ,.

  • @ianprice6263
    @ianprice6263 3 месяца назад

    deep stone lullaby goes hard in that one skit

  • @aoiferibeiro
    @aoiferibeiro 3 месяца назад

    I only ever had 1 dnd campaign (the one I'm currently playing) and we didnt have a session 0 BUT that was because we talked and planned about everything the months leading up to session 1. Everything is going great and I'm really enjoying dnd :)

  • @SpazaliciousChaos
    @SpazaliciousChaos 3 месяца назад

    Since it was requested, a short good paladin story:
    As a thought experiment/disertation on the presentation we are given of Lawful Good in D&Dish games, I made a Pathfinder 1e Paladin with a very simple premise:
    Darth Vader, but Lawful Good.
    Same-ish backstory, same-ish personality, same-ish tactics and abilities (scaled down to level 3), with any post mutilation traits being given the "GOOD FOR THE GOOD GOD!!!" treatment. (I know the warhammer fans will get the joke.)
    It was a very short campaign that collapsed after Good Vader and a skeleton sided with the guard against the party trying to create an elven drug cartel. But in those three sessions, Good Vader proved to be a stoic, if fanatical, champion of life and the benign, always willing and able to throw his heavily scarred and armored ass between the innocent and whatever would harm them, be they demons, muggers, or a forest fire. "All too easy."

  • @DJBlackNGold
    @DJBlackNGold 3 месяца назад

    The dragonborn paladin in my current campaign is playing sorcadin. But he focuses on buffing allies and healing instead, using quicken casts to get benificial buffs off while he still deals melee damage. He's playing the wounded healer. It's the only sorcadin I've DMd for that didn't play to be a powerhouse nuke monster and man is it nice to have that.

  • @indridcold7766
    @indridcold7766 2 месяца назад

    I love paladins!!!!! They’re my absolute favorite class to play, and I’ve played quite a few. The lore potential is just ssssoooo great for them, especially with oaths as they have in built motivations!
    For example, my first ever paladin: An oath of glory paladin of Istus (she’s so cool) who believed that all life has a predetermined path and to go against this was to destroy one’s self… even if that meant for a horrible fate. A sentiment that she pressed upon her prodigy, a young oracle and another player character (with their permission, of course)

  • @mrprogamer96109
    @mrprogamer96109 3 месяца назад

    Paladin story.
    First session in the game but we started at level 3, we were dealing with a rat problem in the sewers of a city, we get to the end and we see what is causing the rat problem, a wererat that driving the lesser rats into a frenzy for its own machinations.
    During the fight, my Paladin ended up smiting it but not killing it, I then raised my weapon at it and said that I was going to do that again if he did not surrender and he did. the reason why I find this funny is that I was out of smites and I was bluffing to bring an end to the combat.
    Simple story, but one I find humor in none the less.

  • @lucid7500
    @lucid7500 3 месяца назад

    That last one gave me an idea for a Slaanesh Paladin.

  • @jordanhunter3375
    @jordanhunter3375 3 месяца назад

    1:03 ....Oh I GET IT!

  • @fredcoventry7513
    @fredcoventry7513 3 месяца назад

    I always played my paladins, and I played a lot of them, like Captain America. Stand up for the people who can't, take the hits other people can't or won't, and do the right thing even when it sucks. Never be judgy, and support your team. Give people room to be themselves. This shouldn't be hard.

  • @robertmccarthy2254
    @robertmccarthy2254 3 месяца назад

    warlock vs warkey? That's actully really funny!

  • @ThePariahDark
    @ThePariahDark 3 месяца назад +1

    Better joke would be that the Warlock can only be beaten by the Peacekey.

  • @Nyrufa
    @Nyrufa 3 месяца назад +2

    "Orcs are cool, not creepy" - I think Orcs are cool because they're creepy. There's just something cathartic about exploring a savage brute who 'Unga Bungas' his way through life.

    • @at-pe8wl
      @at-pe8wl 3 месяца назад

      I think the "creepy" in that case is referring to the sa, not orcs being played as dumb

    • @Nyrufa
      @Nyrufa 3 месяца назад

      @@at-pe8wl Oh, no, I'm fully aware of what he meant.

  • @grumpyoldnord
    @grumpyoldnord 3 месяца назад +1

    My favorite character to play is a sword-and-board Nord chaotic good vengeance paladin of wenches and mead. He is good guy, until he is not good guy.

  • @rosesisupposes253
    @rosesisupposes253 3 месяца назад

    I’m currently playing a paladin of a moon goddess & our party is traveling in the far north. So I said “she’s from the South? Heard” and so she speaks in a genteel southern accent and casts “Bless (Your Heart)”

  • @themystic8634
    @themystic8634 3 месяца назад

    I hope these count, as I haven't got to play either of them, but I do love these paladins as concepts. They both draw on deities from the Pathfinder, and I've included the Paladin's Oath written for each deity before the character description.
    An NPC paladin of Folgrit, wife of the Smith God Torag. While I reject the idea of the 'protector and keeper of the home' being a gendered role, I do think the role itself is an admirable one whoever takes it up. So a paladin with the following oath is very cool to me:
    Children are true innocents. I will protect them from harm above all else.
    A child’s spirit is the light of a people. I will nurture children under my care.
    My home, whatever it might be, is always a refuge for the homeless.
    A clear mind is vital for any leader. I will never impair my judgment.
    I will always make time to help others learn and think clearly.
    This character joined an expedition of dwarven warriors that joined the century long war to defend the world against the Worldwound (a giant portal to the Abyss). Though in the decade since, her partner and most of the other dwarves have passed in battle, she fights in the spirit of Folgrit, as the tough as nails matron of an orphanage of one of the cities on the border of the demon's territory.
    The players were meant to encounter her as they moved through the city after it was breached in a siege, fighting demons in the street outside the orphanage while shouting at one of her pluckiest orphans to get inside, while he pelts the demons with rocks from the roof.
    -----------------------
    The second is a player character I hope to play soon. My attempt to create a champion that embodied my ideals of good, which involves understanding each other, showing kindness and working together to create a more joyful world for all of us. I fell upon a Psychic with the archetype Champion of Shelyn. Goddess of Art, Beauty, Love and Music. Her oath is thus:
    I see beauty in others. As a rough stone hides a diamond, a drab face may hide the heart of a saint.
    I am peaceful. I come first with a rose rather than a weapon, and act to prevent conflict before it blossoms. I never strike first, unless it is the only way to protect the innocent.
    I accept surrender if my opponent can be redeemed-and I never assume that they cannot be. All things that live love beauty, and I will show beauty’s answer to them.
    I live my life as art. I will choose an art and perfect it. When I have mastered it, I will choose another. The works I leave behind make life richer for those who follow.
    I will never destroy a work of art, nor allow one to come to harm, unless greater art arises from its loss. I will only sacrifice art if doing so allows me to save a life, for untold beauty can arise from an awakened soul.
    I lead by example, not with my blade. Where my blade passes, a life is cut short, and the world’s potential for beauty is lessened.
    This champion was the ward of a minor noble, the orphaned child of a favoured servant probably. As they became an adolescent their warden arranged for them to become a squire in an order of Shelynite Paladins. There, they and many children their age learned to become acolytes of Shelyn. This person however had a natural gift for empathy, perhaps a supernatural one. Their abbot, who understands that uniformity is not the soul of art, fosters what is unique in their charges, and so their training became a self-exploration, fostering a natural talent into a powerful one, capable of weaving magic.
    This champion sees the art in people. They easily find things to admire in the lives of people they meet, and work to help others see the same in themselves and things around them. When not called to greater battles they travel, sharing the small gems and beautiful moments of people's lives with people far distant. He is a storyteller, and an illusionist, who would much rather show his audience the illusion of a parent's face at their child's first word than of a fearsome dragon.

  • @TheMightyBattleSquid
    @TheMightyBattleSquid 3 месяца назад

    Sorry Crispy, I have stories of my Paladin PCs not being THE problem in a horror story but nothing I'd say is that interesting as a glory story. Like I've ruined enemy encounters by being strong against undead but what paladin hasn't? lol
    I can at least contribute my character concepts to you if that helps.
    1st is Varia, a valkyrie (aasimar) paladin in a nordic campaign. Her oath is to slay every ice giant she sees but, during the last big war, the door to her realm closed off. Effectively leaving her and her kin practically mortal in the middle of a conflict with said ice giants. She was saved by a group of nearby mercenaries who she worked with to earn a living before she found her way to the party. She's traveling with them now to find a way to open the path back while still killing every giant she lays her eyes on.
    2nd is Agin, a reborn bard/paladin. Think military flagbearer. He stood strong, enduring all kinds of wounds, to keep moral high SO well that he missed his chance to go with his army brothers to the next life. Now he's the kind of cooky old man kind of undead with a few screws loose that yammers on so much that he forgets he was talking for a specific reason.
    3rd is Adagio, a rogue/paladin. Concept there is that really loyal henchman evil villains always seem to find. He's a vengeance paladin so you can guess how that went. Campaign was set in a hodgepodge of every afterlife setting you can think of. So Adagio is, as you probably guessed, trying to find a way to make a deal with the right powerful entity to go back to earth and get his revenge on his former boss.

  • @jeanannd
    @jeanannd 3 месяца назад

    I played in a campaign where the DM had a Bad Joke Demon.

  • @Breadnaught-td4ej
    @Breadnaught-td4ej 3 месяца назад

    You know, that last story presents an interesting idea that never occurred to me before: Is healing magic going to distinguish between the effect of cosmetic surgery, and the effects of just getting something cut off as a battle wound?
    Having the character struggle with that, and having a personal quest to find a way around that problem could be fun - maybe a permeant polymorph effect, rather than visiting a sawbones, or earning some Blessed Tools that won't just have their work healed away, like a good version of the classic cursed weapon that leaves wounds that can't be healed.
    ... but no, instead of taking something a bit non-standard with the character back story and using it as a plot hook to engage the character with the world, they just need to grow boobs for a char bonus.

  • @eriks701
    @eriks701 3 месяца назад +2

    For kids being kids story beware of the blob it creeps and sweeps and slids and glides🎶🎵

  • @Burori1
    @Burori1 3 месяца назад

    Man. The guy in the first big story is a total Tiberius.

  • @dr3dg352
    @dr3dg352 3 месяца назад +4

    Oh I love the tiefling paladin of Ilmater! 🥰 Especially given his profound connection to his deity! I'm a trans woman myself, and organically made Rosalie ("Roe"), my NPC guildmage from Ravnica, trans during the campaign! As her backstory formed, I determined she changed guilds after transitioning. But she's not who I'm here to talk about!
    To add to the positive paladin tales, I'll go a little deeper on one I mentioned in Crispy's latest Tavern Tips video. A (sadly former) friend of mine was once running a campaign wherein humans were a short-lived people bred for war between the realm's powerful factions. I was intrigued and made my character, Manon Ravenscorn, a human oath of conquest paladin. She was fully aware that she was a weapon, and knew no fear. Her personal crusade was to topple those who had forged her and her kind for war.
    In the days before Baldur's Gate III, this campaign began up in a Mindflayer ship. Though we were all level 1, our first encounter was against some of the ship's inhabitants. To this day one of my greatest roleplaying memories is when Manon stepped up to a Mindflayer, without hesitation, and slashed him across the chest with her simple longsword. I imagined her gold eyes glaring at the creatures with hatred and conviction as she stood tall against it. Really miss this character, who only had a couple of sessions. 💜

  • @JuanGarcia-bz3lj
    @JuanGarcia-bz3lj 3 месяца назад

    The fact the nick guy probably got that from the fact that Steve Kerr named his son nick in real life is kinda funny

  • @jacksparrowismydaddy
    @jacksparrowismydaddy 3 месяца назад

    I don't play this paladin in game but I write about him. he and his party stormed a keep where a wizard held a friend captive.. they slew the wizard but his slaves were like "now what? we're screwed." so he stayed and trains them to be self sufficient and teaches many to fight. eventually it becomes a church for his goddess and her sisters.
    I play a different paladin in my games as an npc. he's very by the book, he's the kings brother so he'll uphold the law of the realm as one would expect. so he might serves an antagonist or a help to my players. he has a love hate relationship with my players' boss who's kind of a rouge but not really... so it can get kinda funny but he would always be there to help as long as they are on the side of righteousness. he's also on my table of in game consequences for murder hobos.

  • @alphons1456o
    @alphons1456o 3 месяца назад

    Semi positive paladin story:
    I'm currently playing a halfling paladin-monk multi class named Brindle Barrelbottoms. One of his defining characteristics is he will always be the first to order whenever they're at a tavern.
    The kicker is, he's an Oathbreaker, but despite that, he's actually a really outgoing and fun individual. The only reason he's an Oathbreaker is because, in a fit of anger, he denounced his goddess and lost the original vows.
    So now he's going through the Undermount to find a treasure to help rekindle his connection. The journey led him to find his son who joined the Harpers as a way of getting back at his dad. I tried to play up that Brindle wasn't a real deadbeat; just a man who's made mistakes while staring at the bottom of a tankard.
    Planning on sharing his backstory with the rest of the party and his son the next session

  • @jayheffronuzun6733
    @jayheffronuzun6733 3 месяца назад +2

    In the first story I at first thought the problem player just didn't 'get' DnD like he had way more of a video game mindset about it and then the bit where he goes on about people having to be grateful he's at the game it clicked with me

  • @nonreligionist
    @nonreligionist 3 месяца назад +1

    As a Kyle, I will NOT take this sitting down!
    * lays down *
    Proceed...

  • @flaminyawn
    @flaminyawn 3 месяца назад

    Pathfinder, Carrion Crown AP, the first long-term campaign of any TTRPG I'd ever played, my best friend plays the paladin Sir Ahsum. Just a lovable golden retriever type himbo of a character. The worst thing he ever did was tell a headless horseman our names mere seconds after I'd done a knowledge check and found out you shouldn't do that, but before I had a chance to share that with the party. No actual bad behavior whatsoever.

    • @flaminyawn
      @flaminyawn 3 месяца назад

      Also for a PF2E one-shot where we were all being silly and experimental, I played a sprite champion. We fought an animated statue, and my little guy was keeping the others from taking big damage while dancing around the statue's ankles. It was good fun.

  • @Xecryo
    @Xecryo 3 месяца назад

    Gonna be honest. I would love to see more D&D therapy sessions even in shorts. That had me laughing more than I expected. 🤣
    Edit: Yes! Orcs are awesome and my orc characters would all have despised THAT orc.

  • @nonbinaryartist8661
    @nonbinaryartist8661 3 месяца назад +1

    Man I wish I could play dnd one day

  • @jezixhylus3370
    @jezixhylus3370 3 месяца назад

    When the like counter is at a certain number and you don’t want to be the on to disturb it. lol

  • @nancy6746
    @nancy6746 3 месяца назад

    Ok you want a good Paladin story allow me to tell the tale of one of my Husbands favorite characters. The two tower sheild wielding lawful good paladin that adopted 60+ children from an orphanage, moved them to the city of war where they proceeded to get ripped af just like my husband’s character. I was playing my first rogue ever (still is one of my favorite characters), our friend kept changing characters so I do not remember what he started out with and the problem player was a dragon born monk. Each character got to start with something special, i got a pack of what I called sleepy time beer that I used to rob people blind and my husband asked as a joke if he could have a second tower shield (he got reaaaaalllyyy lucky on his rolls and put a lot into strength) and our DM agreed on the condition that if he was using them both he absolutely could not use a weapon but did allow shield bashing. At some point we arrive at a town that kept every bit of money you made there when you left, I bought a dog with money I had stolen and that night my party slipped me my own sleepy time beer. I fall asleep and they report me to the town guard, little did they know the punishment for theft in this town was EXECUTION! Realizing that my character was going to die my husband prayed to his god (don’t remember his name but he was like the guardian of the over Styx) for my survival, well I became sentient head and my husbands new goal was to get my head reattached. Eventually my head gets back on my body I become a war criminal and his paladin tracked my rogue down in the street after an intense chase and defeated me in battle. That paladin made this campaign the most fantastical one I have ever been apart of. It was so good.

  • @frog7226
    @frog7226 3 месяца назад

    Good paladin story:
    My paladin is Silica Feldspar Taffee, her flaw is that she sort of fits the paladin stereotype. So lawful she's nuetral because she does even evil actions if her kingdom tells her to. The main story involves her doing an investigation into one of the heros she use to idolize. This investigation includes the hero's ex-wife (who my paladin is in love with), the ex-wife's original lover, my paladin's arch-rival, and a few other figures.
    Slowly she is learning both her and her arch rival were groomed as children to fight for their kingdoms. All at the macinations of the BBEG heroic guy. She is learning the BBEG abused his wife and is just a dirty man all around.
    The ultimate plan is for her to be forced to betray her kingdom because the love she has for her friends and her newly found moral code outways her dedication to the corrupt institute. Her and the arch-rival become adopted siblings. She marries the ex-wife of the hero.
    The story isn't complete but we have one shots and stuff all over the time line so we know a rough story outline for the sake of those stories.
    Oh hey! My paladin is trans too! A trans woman! Her and her wife have 6 kids.

  • @CandidValentine
    @CandidValentine 3 месяца назад +1

    MY STORY WAS THE FIRST ONE HELL YAHHH

  • @HolyKnight-kh1im
    @HolyKnight-kh1im 3 месяца назад

    I guess kyle really likes the blackdog knights from berserk. If you know you know.

  • @soistngcatstritchfavor
    @soistngcatstritchfavor 3 месяца назад

    My wife and I played through Salt Marsh and I played a pink Dragon Kin Redemption Paladin with the Folk Hero back ground that was also a chef. Her whole deal was redemption through mirth. Basically get everyone together, have a good big meal, maybe some drink and talk it out.
    Spoilers for Salt Marsh part
    I managed the get most of the forces in the campaign to unify by inviting them all to a big dinner and getting everyone to agree to basically exchange favors that I would personally make sure where fulfilled. I was also able to talk my way off the island after talking to the cultists there by promising I was returning to the main land to examine the hearsay against Orgolory and learn how to spread the true word of our deep lord to the masses. Which was totally tru I wanted to take their scriptures and compare it to the libraries and archives and see what lined up and if this cult had been around before and how it spread. So I got them to let us leave AND give us all there scared scrolls and shit.
    At one point my wife's character, whom was a ranger from the Drowned Forest hell bent on saving the forest at any cost, was sneaking into the mine the Dwarfs ran and to help her out I came to the front gates with a cart and asked if I could get some gravel because I was going to fill pot holes around the town. I told them if they would give me a discount I'd smash my own gravel out of larger stones they need to get ride of. They agreed and I started goading the Dwarves near by into a rock smashing competition. I rolled well and got a good portion of the camp to be all excited about trying to smash the most rocks. This made it much easier for my wife to sneak in and find the Aboleths deep in the mines.
    It was a real great campaign and we had a super fun time. I really liked that character and really want to play her again some time.

  • @Kevinblue035
    @Kevinblue035 3 месяца назад +7

    as a gay nerd, i love big orcs and think they deserve to be cool heroes too

  • @darko-man8549
    @darko-man8549 3 месяца назад +1

    Tbf, cinema sins, started off kinda funny and pointed out actual errors, then it just became a parody
    The Executive Guy much better

  • @ms.riflespiral
    @ms.riflespiral 3 месяца назад +4

    Kyle reminds me so much of the trope of:
    “Aww yeah I love dark humour!”
    *blatant racism*
    Why do people like this always assume dark humour is really easy and all you have to do is be the most unlikeable person ever to be funny?

  • @mrmusicj2167
    @mrmusicj2167 3 месяца назад

    A good paladin that I can think of is Duros from Rustage’s one piece dnd.

  • @Floweramon
    @Floweramon 3 месяца назад

    16:50 Okay well now I HAVE to know XD

  • @silenthound8116
    @silenthound8116 3 месяца назад

    As the DM in the situation with the ego maniac Druid, you are totally allowed to swing the ban hammer and kill off their character with such heavy and aggresive displays of control over player agency. DM's should never try to let behaviors like this work themselves out among the party. They need to be firm to be able to control the other player's ability to enjoy the game they are contributing to with you as the leading voice.

  • @kauwanseaton5281
    @kauwanseaton5281 3 месяца назад

    Acrobat? Dang throw back. That's as old as the old DND cartoon

  • @tibboocelot9272
    @tibboocelot9272 3 месяца назад

    It's not a full story but here's a Paladin... concept, I guess? My best friend and I are in a game together, and we worked with the DM to create three player characters who are linked together. Let me explain: From levels 1 to three, I played a Half-Elven Paladin while my friend played an Elven fighter. In the milestone event that brought us to level 3, I worked with the DM so my Paladin would die. Then my next character would come in, a Human Paladin who was the original's brother. He was on the Oath of Vengeance, vowing to complete his brother's quest and honor his soul (loosely based off Boromir and Faramir from Lord of the Rings). However, the soul of the original Paladin would be bonded to the Elven Fighter played by my friend, manifesting through the Echo Knight subclass, like Talion from Shadow of Mordor. Whatever drama might ensue between me and him we haven't charted out yet but we both have an understanding of how not to go too far with it, I'm excited for where this will go.

  • @Kintaro316
    @Kintaro316 2 месяца назад

    Good story about Paladin?? How bout this one... First edition DND.. my very first experience RPing and my older brother is DMing. First level Paladin, am told that there's a disturbance on a local farm.. go out to check it out.. during investigations hear a noise in the barn.. charge in sword out.. Get hit by an awful stench.. stumble blindly into a support column and think its a monster.. hack at it.. breaks it, brings part of the roof down on him.. kills him. Remember, this is before death saves! Yep.. Paladin, killed by a giant skunk!