My Experience in Rehab (i got kicked out lol??)

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  • Опубликовано: 24 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @taylordeanvlogs7088
    @taylordeanvlogs7088  5 лет назад +1019

    Ps I tried to stress this as many times as I could in the video, but this video is about what MY rehab was really like when it comes to the visual part. The rest is more generalized and something that you’ll find in all rehabs. I try to stress that even if you don’t go to a rehab like mine, and you do go to one that is more like a hospital, that there’s SO much you can gain from it. Even the “worst” rehabs will at least help you learn about your illness and get you sober for 30 days. That’s the whole point. No, they won’t all have high-ropes courses and on campus stores, that’s not the point. But I DID wanna share my personal rehab too so more people knew their name and could see what they could offer. Insurance covered my stay and plenty of people who were there weren’t at all anywhere near wealthy, I’d say a majority of people weren’t anywhere near wealthy whatsoever that were there, they just had insurance that covered it. So this is a nicer rehab but isn’t impossible to get into unless you have money, and also even the less-nice rehabs can be just as beneficial. I hope that point was not overlooked just because of my personal rehab being on the nicer side. Which is why the part of the video explaining how it looked was only such a small portion. I did speak with my parents tho and they said this was a rehab that widely accepted many insurance policies that were on the lower average side, which is what countless patients shared with me while they were there (that they weren’t doing well financially in the slightest). But anyways, this is more about a realistic look into the mental state of a person in rehab and how to get the most out of it, not about how “all rehabs will look”. Just wanted to explain that before it got confused by anyone who doesn’t watch all the way through!! ❤️

    • @cuppatae834
      @cuppatae834 5 лет назад +15

      Hell yeah! Even me, at the shittiest rehab on the east side of Detroit, I got Exactly what I needed. You definitely don't need all that extra fancy shit to get your life back on track. You just need the basics. 💜

    • @carriegray5273
      @carriegray5273 5 лет назад +6

      Just curious but have you heard of the nalaxone shot instead of suboxone? If not you could look into it’s quite incredible for the stage of being off everything but still needing the opiate blocker you get from the suboxone itself but not the opioid it has in it. Beautifully spoken and so familiar.

    • @brooklyndejongh1644
      @brooklyndejongh1644 5 лет назад +9

      I think you and Jessica Kent would make an awesome video. She was also an addict and ended up in prison for a couple years. She is a fellow RUclipsr educating people about addiction.

    • @coked_up.possum6707
      @coked_up.possum6707 5 лет назад +6

      Your videos really helped me understand what my dad was going threw, he has been clean for over 100 days!❤ My parents couldn't afford rehab, so his recovery took over 3 months. But I am happy to say my parents have never fought or argued over alcohol again. I love that you are helping everyone and discussing this and I am so proud of everyone who is struggling with addiction and is trying to stop!❤

    • @themelissaeileen
      @themelissaeileen 5 лет назад

      Taylor you are so brave, so strong! TY for being a motivator & an inspiration for many suffering from addiction & rehab & trying your best to get & stay sober! Congrats Queen, you got this! We are all here for you, anyday, anytime! Love you Taylor, don't stop sharing via videos pls!! You are sunshine in my dark days of brutal pain, ty for that. You are doing so much good, not sure if you fully realize your reach! ✌️❤️👍❤️❤️

  • @kelseythekhaleesi8041
    @kelseythekhaleesi8041 5 лет назад +2005

    Your mother saved your life. She did what was best for you, taking your money and phone to prevent you from relapsing and now you're doing so much better, so so proud and happy for you. Bless you for sharing your story with those who are struggling

    • @annajansen6945
      @annajansen6945 5 лет назад +12

      Her mother got a lot of Bad comments for her not stopping Taylor from self destruction. Comments Were in twitter.
      Don't know If all If it is true but I wouldn't glorify her mother that much.

    • @jabrummel1012
      @jabrummel1012 5 лет назад +154

      Maria Braun
      There’s only so much you can do as a family member of someone with addiction. Her mom tried to help Taylor before it got as bad as it did, and she got hell for it from Taylor stans. We know nothing of how their relationship changed during her active addiction, her family deserves to heal as much as Taylor does.

    • @junipercruse1722
      @junipercruse1722 5 лет назад +3

      t0y Bandit want a cookie?

    • @michelleryan6002
      @michelleryan6002 5 лет назад +15

      Maria Braun my parents did the best thing for me by not enabling or ever giving me money but also never forcing me into treatment and waiting for me to say I’m done and ready. Because of that I now have 7 years clean while my friends whose parents enabled or forced are mostly still actively in addiction and or dead. I first put myself in rehab at 18, it would take the next 10 years of relapsing and finding myself pregnant and addicted that I finally said enough. I now have a great relationship with my family which it was never terrible but it’s different knowing they completely trust me and I can take care of my daughter keep a job and pay bills. But if they had pushed me when I wasn’t ready I might still be killing my self or to be honest already dead.

    • @victorjrkingisanchez4472
      @victorjrkingisanchez4472 5 лет назад +1

      Nah she saved her own life

  • @laurajpeg13
    @laurajpeg13 5 лет назад +1166

    every time you talk about your past relationship I tear up. I’m so happy you’ve moved on from him and sobered up. I’m so incredibly proud of you for realizing your worth.

    • @Gothicsmile12
      @Gothicsmile12 5 лет назад +5

      Me too i held back tears. Its really inspiring and im so glad she has a supportive platform

    • @solanum6039
      @solanum6039 3 года назад +3

      She neither moved on from him, nor has she sobered up. She still talks about him on her Twitter, still shares his music on her Instagram (what the hell?) and she recently admitted to have relapsed again. She hasn’t been clean consistently since spring 2020. That’s when she also started shooting meth. She’s now on heroin and meth.
      She constantly lies about it and then later coming around admitting she actually was using.

  • @user-jt8gi3rz7o
    @user-jt8gi3rz7o 5 лет назад +802

    I commented on your Instagram being scared to go to rehab, but you told me how it could be good for me and it changed my life. Thank you.

    • @annajansen6945
      @annajansen6945 5 лет назад +20

      Are you in rehab? Wish you the best of luck

    • @alysonclay4813
      @alysonclay4813 5 лет назад +5

      Avoiding it atm

    • @kylabella05
      @kylabella05 5 лет назад +18

      Lilith Lace- there is never a wrong time to start!!! Try to stop avoiding it, I know it can be the scariest thing in the world but trust me it WILL save your life and you will look back and think why did I not do this sooner! I know I don’t know you, but you have a supporter here! I hope you are well and I send my love ❤️

    • @tillyjai3706
      @tillyjai3706 5 лет назад +2

      You can do it babe. Stay strong I wish you all the luck in the world ❤️

    • @Twiggytea
      @Twiggytea 5 лет назад +1

      RUclips wont let me like the comment so I'm gonna comment, good luck my guy, get clean!!

  • @sarahking3367
    @sarahking3367 5 лет назад +408

    I actually met my husband in rehab. We were just really good friends at first but it grew into more after rehab. We were in a 90 day place. We got clean together and that keeps us clean together. He’s my best friend and the love of my life. I wouldn’t change it for anything.

    • @allysondrake11
      @allysondrake11 5 лет назад +18

      I also met my husband in rehab! It’s great to have someone who understands what you’ve been/going through!

    • @rhiana7166
      @rhiana7166 5 лет назад +11

      That’s very rare and awesome for you guys. Glad you both took your sobriety & lives seriously

    • @jenniferbright2506
      @jenniferbright2506 5 лет назад

      I am on methadone and only taking methadone but I am staying at my boyfriend of 12 years parents house.. I am miserable and want to go into a program but I am terrified to leave.. Idk im so confused 😕

    • @feverdreamnonstop
      @feverdreamnonstop 5 лет назад +3

      @@jenniferbright2506 leave it's the best for you you will have a better life
      Life is a rollercoaster

    • @jenniferbright2506
      @jenniferbright2506 5 лет назад +3

      @@feverdreamnonstop I went and slowly coming off methadone working and fixing my relationship

  • @jennifermarie7641
    @jennifermarie7641 5 лет назад +287

    My mom was an addict, sadly she’s no longer here. These videos help me understand her so much better

    • @mollscadman
      @mollscadman 5 лет назад +5

      ❤️

    • @jenniferdowns8991
      @jenniferdowns8991 5 лет назад +7

      I am so sorry about your mom,I'm also an addict and I think it's awesome you trying to learn about addiction because I don't think people truly understand how much addiction grips you in so many ways and it's truly a horrible way to live and NO one would ever want to be this way,when they say it's a disease trust this is so true,there are days I could easily give in but I can't cause it would start a cycle I couldn't stop,anyways most people don't try to understand addiction they just judge us

    • @mally4457
      @mally4457 5 лет назад +3

      Jennifer Marie ❤️

    • @delvinmallory3427
      @delvinmallory3427 3 года назад +1

      @@jenniferdowns8991 I used to think this too but... starting drugs is a choice. Addiction is a consequence of that choice. Why start drugs if you don't want to get addicted?

  • @AvacadoChan
    @AvacadoChan 5 лет назад +258

    Taylor: “Did I get sent to the ranch?”
    Doctors: ???
    I DIED

  • @kylieroth2326
    @kylieroth2326 5 лет назад +317

    “This is me without the animals”
    *cat in the background*

  • @kazukinoo
    @kazukinoo 5 лет назад +251

    I’m so glad you’re way more open about your experience with this :) you’re helping a lot of people

  • @chelmastly5802
    @chelmastly5802 5 лет назад +357

    I love you so much, thank you for your transparency and sharing your story

  • @wadsworthboy
    @wadsworthboy 5 лет назад +116

    I didn't think I would sit though the whole video, but I did.. and I want you to know that it helped me.
    I don't have an addiction to a drug, but it's an addiction nevertheless.
    This video has given me the courage to get rid of a crutch I gave myself in the mits of self defeat, and the motivation to strive for my own 90 days of being clean.
    Thank you for sharing your story!

    • @taylordeanvlogs7088
      @taylordeanvlogs7088  5 лет назад +25

      I just made it to 107 days! You can do it too (I NEVER thought I'd even make it one day).
      Take it one day at a time, don't get overwhelmed by looking too far into the future. Focus on today. and remember, regardless of the addiction, you can't do it all by yourself! Get help wherever you need it, i believe in you :)

    • @wadsworthboy
      @wadsworthboy 5 лет назад +8

      @@taylordeanvlogs7088 The longest I ever went "clean" was 6 days, and that was... 9 years ago?!... geez.
      It's not something I feel comfortable sharing with people in my life, which means I don't get support, so your encouragement means so much to me, thank you! :)

    • @breetoldyouso
      @breetoldyouso 5 лет назад +4

      Wadsworthboy there are online support groups for like everything if you aren’t comfortable talking about it to people in your life! You got this

    • @wadsworthboy
      @wadsworthboy 5 лет назад +3

      @@breetoldyouso that's a good point, thank you!

    • @SAMEntalhealth
      @SAMEntalhealth 2 года назад

      Im really curious as to what your addiction was lol

  • @amyguerra1882
    @amyguerra1882 5 лет назад +117

    You being 92 days sober literally makes my heart melt. I’m so happy for you and your progress! So glad you’re being transparent and honest about your experience

    • @MamboNombre5
      @MamboNombre5 5 лет назад +1

      Please. Her mom posted on twitter "30 day sober soup". Look at her glassy eyes and pinned pupils. She's not sober.

    • @amandai8006
      @amandai8006 5 лет назад +1

      Charity R wtf

  • @julialampshade3717
    @julialampshade3717 5 лет назад +117

    My father went to a rehab in pa that wasn’t the best and the prostitute that he was dating kept smuggling him in heroin. Needless to say, he never sobered up and I don’t have a dad. I wish he had the strength to do what you did Taylor, I’m so proud of you

    • @AmberMW-12783
      @AmberMW-12783 5 лет назад +19

      Same here. My dad went to Greenbriar in PA and the prostitute HE was messing with, kept sneaking heroin in to him and they knew it but continued to let it happen. He did finally get clean from heroin but was on methadone which messed him up inside. My brother ended up committing suicide from being addicted to Xanax and my dad was there when it happened, luckily he didn't go back to heroin but did pass away a little over a year after my brother. I ended up getting addicted to pain pills and am recovering now.

    • @thtpeacechic
      @thtpeacechic 5 лет назад +4

      Amber 0127 keep going Amber. Power is in your Strength to keep going.

    • @bnb0510
      @bnb0510 5 лет назад +2

      As a 42 year old that has been through the same thing with my father, you’re better off without him in your life. I’m now married with children and he’s the last person I want in my life at this point. It sucks but you’ll be ok.

  • @siennaburge2273
    @siennaburge2273 5 лет назад +171

    I'm so glad to hear someone talk about PAWS! I have 3 years clean from heroin and in the first year PAWS hit so hard and at the time I didn't know what it was.

    • @jenniferdowns8991
      @jenniferdowns8991 5 лет назад +2

      It's horrible,I don't know how many times I relapsed because of it,then I went to methadone saved my life

    • @chelsiefetherman3324
      @chelsiefetherman3324 5 лет назад +3

      Jennifer Downs same here, methadone saved me, I’d be dead if I didn’t try it. I just couldn’t take subuxone, I’d have to wait atleast 36 hours to take one and I never felt ok.

    • @brandonavery133
      @brandonavery133 5 лет назад +1

      PAWS is just an excuse to relapse. Call it what it is... jonesing. Been there, and it's mental, not an actual physical thing.

    • @jenniferdowns8991
      @jenniferdowns8991 5 лет назад +3

      @@brandonavery133 no I 100% disagree paws is a real thing,there is a difference in jonesin and paws

    • @brandonavery133
      @brandonavery133 5 лет назад +3

      @@jenniferdowns8991 you're entitled to your opinion, but the idea that someone is still going through heroin withdrawal after a year is ridiculous.

  • @hello-hw1yb
    @hello-hw1yb 5 лет назад +335

    Yes more storytimes
    But thank goodness you're good now

  • @arrowbutterfly3207
    @arrowbutterfly3207 5 лет назад +571

    U should do a tattoo explanation I love them also love u I’m so proud of u

    • @taylorndean
      @taylorndean 5 лет назад +58

      babyem I plan to once I finish my sleeve! 🥰 thank you!!

    • @ajones2367
      @ajones2367 5 лет назад +1

      Taylor Nicole Dean I didn’t know you were planning a whole sleeve

    • @carameLIZed77
      @carameLIZed77 5 лет назад +7

      @@ajones2367 check out her twitter and insta, she already started the sleeve and it looks awesome! I'm absolutely in love!

    • @saveriopanaccione996
      @saveriopanaccione996 5 лет назад

      Taylor Nicole Dean i Saw your medusa tattoo on Instagram and it was looking great. How come I can’t see it in this vid?

    • @lovely-bo2ri
      @lovely-bo2ri 5 лет назад +3

      Saverio Panaccione she pre filmed this probably a few weeks ago

  • @frankieslittlemonster132
    @frankieslittlemonster132 5 лет назад +68

    I love and admire you so much. I have been debating going to rehab for ages, and now I think I'm finally gonna go. Thank you

    • @taylordeanvlogs7088
      @taylordeanvlogs7088  5 лет назад +10

      FrankiesLittleMonster i promise you it’s worth it! even if it isn’t some super top of the line rehab, the worst thing that it can do is potentially help you save your life. at lest be open to touring some facilities. it really can help so much ❤️

    • @frankieslittlemonster132
      @frankieslittlemonster132 5 лет назад +7

      @@taylordeanvlogs7088 I have drug-induced schizoaffective disorder, my situation was similar to yours as I was in a nasty relationship. I probably won't be able to go to a really nice facility but no matter how nice it is, either way they're going to try to help me. I finally believe my life is worth more than this, and it's because of you and this video

    • @ascoadia282
      @ascoadia282 5 лет назад +3

      @@frankieslittlemonster132 good luck. I know Taylor must be super proud of you and so am I, the random stranger on the internet. I wish you the best of luck in the world.

    • @frankieslittlemonster132
      @frankieslittlemonster132 5 лет назад +3

      @@ascoadia282 Thank you. fellow random stranger. That really does mean a lot

    • @ascoadia282
      @ascoadia282 5 лет назад +3

      @@frankieslittlemonster132 you're very welcome!

  • @kaitlynparis6803
    @kaitlynparis6803 5 лет назад +75

    I love how you wear your chips around your neck. That seems so motivational and it’s so brave to show that to the world

    • @isabelashton9549
      @isabelashton9549 5 лет назад +1

      What are those? I'm just curious because I really don't know much about this topic at all.

    • @xXgarlicgirlXx
      @xXgarlicgirlXx 5 лет назад +7

      @@isabelashton9549 sobriety tokens

    • @courtneywhittle6534
      @courtneywhittle6534 3 года назад +1

      @@isabelashton9549 there sobriety tokens they normally say on the front of them” clean and serine for 90 days” or however many days you’ve been clean

  • @nyawilson7393
    @nyawilson7393 5 лет назад +19

    "You get so much time back than you have to give for rehab"- that's a powerful statement

  • @xitlalypardo8182
    @xitlalypardo8182 5 лет назад +396

    *CAN’T BELIEVE TAYLOR IS A FELLOW 9 YEAR OLD!!!*

  • @vvnicholevv
    @vvnicholevv 5 лет назад +71

    I hope you realize you’re still actually in early recovery. It’s great how far you have come, but please understand there are still hurdles you (and most other people) will come to, especially before a year.

    • @jennwill80
      @jennwill80 5 лет назад +20

      Yeah, she is in early early recovery and it makes me a little nervous for her that she talks about this all as if it so far in her rear view mirror and is quick to put it all in a box with a bow on it. She’s just so young, just beginning her 20s! Here is hoping this drug thing is already in the past for her. But...IDK.

    • @vvnicholevv
      @vvnicholevv 5 лет назад +15

      Jennifer Williams resentment and over confidence are poison in recovery, and I see both in what she’s putting on social media. She needs to stay humble and I hope and pray she’s doing her steps thoroughly. The steps aren’t something she can just rush through just to be able to say she’s done them. I truly wish her the best.

    • @chelsiefetherman3324
      @chelsiefetherman3324 5 лет назад

      nichole fielding yes!

    • @chelsiefetherman3324
      @chelsiefetherman3324 5 лет назад +5

      Jennifer Williams I was the same way the first time I got clean, 10 years later, 6 rehabs and 9 relapses I finally have 2plus years.

    • @laxyoubexlove
      @laxyoubexlove 4 года назад +2

      @@vvnicholevv i think she taking drugs again

  • @daniellesears8583
    @daniellesears8583 5 лет назад +15

    I'm so incredibly happy for you and your recovery. After losing my best friend to an overdose, it brings me peace seeing others get the help they need to live a long sober life. Keep on keeping on Tayor, you're doing amazing.

  • @evitaernestolopez-fernande4547
    @evitaernestolopez-fernande4547 5 лет назад +13

    I have never struggled with drugs however I work in a pharmacy and have seen many people get addicted. You and Jessica Kent have amazing stories. So proud of both of you girls ❤️ keep going Taylor you got this 💪🏼

  • @TheBabyGirl2282
    @TheBabyGirl2282 5 лет назад +4

    36:00 - 37:40 just absolutely broke my heart, I was about to cry with you... Your story is just so pure and touching and the way you're telling it is so honest and relatable that I am truly convinced I could sit here and listen to you go on for hours and hours. You're an amazing girl and I wish you strength and happiness throughout your journey called sobriety. Sending love from Germany.

  • @heathertomlinson5980
    @heathertomlinson5980 5 лет назад +29

    Your use of the word "Yuck" is so real. My parents suffered with addiction and my dad died from it and my mom is still dealing with it. Unfortunately, my little sister also had some problems but then a few years older than you decided she was finally ready for rehab and she did 60 days. She still does the program and knows she has a problem. I agree so much with your words and I appreciate you using your platform to shout out to al-anon and your rehab journey in general. My family has dealt with the death of a son/dad/brother and are dealing with a sister/niece/daughter/grand daughter in recovery and it is a hugely helpful organization. Hug your mom for me, I know what an emotional stress it is caring for someone with addiction. And a HUGE hug to you for taking care of yourself and knowing you deserve a better life and taking the steps to take care of yourself. You are strong Taylor and you can do it

  • @aziny101
    @aziny101 5 лет назад +9

    Every time I hear you talk about sobriety I feel overwhelmed with happiness. I'm so proud of you as a person for just trying, and for doing your best now. I love hearing you talk about your sobriety. I'm so happy for you :')

  • @PhotogNT
    @PhotogNT 5 лет назад +3

    I came across your story by accident last night, I am not addicted to drugs. I am however affected by severe depression and PTSD and have been for several years, your story ticked so many boxes for me, I could see myself in so many of your anecdotes. I hope you continue live a full happy life.

  • @rishashah
    @rishashah 5 лет назад +42

    You've got so much confidence back, its really cool to see :)

  • @eliexotic212
    @eliexotic212 5 лет назад +169

    Hey queen, you’ve done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly, I would say I’m surprised but I know who you are, I’ve seen it up close and personal-

    • @marielita13
      @marielita13 5 лет назад +2

      girl u make me SO proud.

    • @unimpressed8369
      @unimpressed8369 5 лет назад +2

      She didn’t raise it she is the bar ! (Yes im referencing a ford ad now go on w ur day)

  • @arecus54
    @arecus54 5 лет назад +46

    This is stronger than what local education have been trying to do for decades to "stop drugs"
    Thank you

  • @zefdollie3760
    @zefdollie3760 5 лет назад +5

    I'm 532 days sober and it may sound like alot of time but it's a struggle. It's something I think about everyday. It's great having you use your platform to share your experiences and shed some light on the subject. It helps me more than you know so thank you ❤️❤️

  • @PennyLomfalk
    @PennyLomfalk 5 лет назад +11

    It's 6 in the morning and I've been up all night trying to get my youngest cat to eat. Tired as hell after a day at the vet but hey, Taylor just uploaded a new video and you're damn sure me and my cats are gonna watch it all and cry happy tears

  • @Nonbinarymodel
    @Nonbinarymodel 5 лет назад +100

    Early party but you’ve done a fantastic job of staying clean and sober and I am so proud of you 🥰

  • @nadiagolinska7417
    @nadiagolinska7417 3 года назад +1

    I'm so grateful for the fact that people on the internet are so open about things like this. Any educational movies or stuff like that you get at school are literally funny to watch and I just sat here for 2 hours listening to you and I feel like I learned so much. You just showed so many people the real experience and the real gains from getting sober. Personally this is the 1st time I heard that you can actually get addicted after one try and that made me never want to try. I know how stupid this sounds but I talked with my best friend about trying drugs once just to feel it and now I know I will never willingly do this. Thank you, you might have just saved my life.

  • @sarahthompson3163
    @sarahthompson3163 5 лет назад +8

    Thank you so so much for sharing you’re story, it’s so powerful and important and it’s hard to find people talking about addiction in such a real way. Also thank you because you’re video about your addiction helped me completely stop contacting my ex. He’s toxic and abusive and hearing your story with your ex there were so so many parallels and I felt validated, that other people have gone through this and it’s not okay. Thank you so so much for sharing we’re all here supporting you!

    • @taylordeanvlogs7088
      @taylordeanvlogs7088  5 лет назад +1

      Sarah Thompson I’m SO happy you found the strength to do that after watching my story. thank you for supporting my content and please know you’re never alone! What you did requires a desire to love yourself and it takes so much strength, so please give yourself credit for what you’ve done for yourself! ❤️❤️ it makes me smile knowing I could somehow help you with that. Thank you for sharing with me, it means so much to me truly

  • @quinnharlow7304
    @quinnharlow7304 5 лет назад +6

    I relate to this so much. I'm a recovering heroin addict as well and I dealt with so many of the same things in rehab. The men all my life, the food in early sobriety, fear of rejection. My ex that I used with who was so difficult to let go of. Going through that trauma with someone creates an unexplicable bond. Letting go of him was one of the hardest things that I've ever done. We're all so similar and in recovery it's really comforting. Thank you for your story

  • @arianaclark8943
    @arianaclark8943 5 лет назад +16

    Thank you for sharing love!! I've been sober from H since 8-11-17!! Stay strong ❤️ ❤️❤️

  • @BexMcInulty
    @BexMcInulty 5 лет назад +1

    I admire you SO MUCH not only for tackling your issues and working toward getting better but also for being so open and honest about it and choosing to share your story to help others. Give yourself a pat on the back if you read this. You deserve it.

  • @tyesaucee
    @tyesaucee 5 лет назад +4

    My brother is a drug addict. I know all about how addiction can affect a person and other people. Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s soooo important for people to understand. You are amazing. I love you. ♥️

  • @amiraa2956
    @amiraa2956 5 лет назад +2

    As a former heroin addict that was in a heroin based relationship (I’ve reached out to on IG a few times during your active addiction and your recovery, would love to chat) people really need this video Taylor. You have such a large audience and to be the voice of a recovering addict for everyone, and showing them sobriety is attainable, is such a blessing for you and your audience. I’m so freakin proud of you, like really really proud of you. Go girl

  • @TheNikwe
    @TheNikwe 5 лет назад +4

    I know exactly what you went through, I'm so glad you turned your life around. Talking about your experiences is what really helped me. I am so proud of you.

  • @Toria0991798
    @Toria0991798 5 лет назад +46

    Honestly so proud of you. Cheese would be proud too. 🧀❤

    • @clo-23420
      @clo-23420 5 лет назад +1

      Aww that's so sweet

  • @peteypositive2783
    @peteypositive2783 5 лет назад +7

    Between pills and self harm, I am still shocked to this day that I am still alive, and I have been sober for nearly 5 years. I am so very proud of you, Taylor. I wish you a lifetime of sobriety❤️

  • @lilnikki3233
    @lilnikki3233 5 лет назад +37

    Thank you for being honest, vulnerable and transparent about your journey. We stan with you Taylor and are so happy you’re back. Sending lots of love - have a super duper weekend

  • @GoblinPrincessKyo
    @GoblinPrincessKyo 5 лет назад +3

    I spent my entire life forgiving and trying to understand my fathers addiction. I fought for him and begged for chances for him with the rest of my family no matter how low he sank or how hurt i got each time the cycle started all over again. Hearing you story has helped me a lot with understanding the feelings of the person with the addiction, and although after something beyond even my forgiveness i have chosen to cut him out of my life like the rest of my family and friends have been begging me to do since i was a child. I still feel that gaining more of an understanding about addiction and its nature is valuable to me in a way i'm not even sure how to word. Thankyou Taylor.

  • @Mistress_Wolf
    @Mistress_Wolf 5 лет назад +5

    I feel like rehab is similar to private mental health hospitals. Admitting there is something not right, and then choosing to get help; life will get better.

  • @hannahharding6488
    @hannahharding6488 5 лет назад +2

    I personally have not struggled with addiction, but i lost both my parents due to it at the age of 17. my sister still continues to struggle with it. no one truly understands the disease unless theyve been affected by it personally. ive watched you for years now. i am so proud of you for fighting & continuing to fight it.

  • @Balxu
    @Balxu 5 лет назад +4

    Woke up watched this first and I cant help but think about a friend who overdosed sadly, but always promised to go to rehab eventually. Im so happy to see you thriving and the end of your video really hit me in my feels. Youre so strong and sweet and wish you nothing but the best ♥️

  • @asadovesoacrow
    @asadovesoacrow 5 лет назад +2

    Taylor, thanks so much for making this. I've left rehab before graduating 3 times, now... but I'm still not giving up. This video, and you, have made me feel less alone. Much love. One day, sometimes just one hour, one minute, at a time.

  • @Eli_Arch
    @Eli_Arch 5 лет назад +8

    I've been sober for 2 years and 8 months now. Just alcohol, because I always knew that if I tried drugs I would never stop. I was so lucky to keep myself in check with drugs, but I scratched the itch with sex, alcohol, cigarettes, food, and self-harm. I was aware I am an addict. All this to say, I may have not reached rock bottom but I'm still an addict... Sometimes people don't take me seriously because they didn't saw me struggle like they think all addicts "must" do. No matter your story, rehab, no rehab, "easy" or bumpy recovery I hope you stay sober or start looking into getting there. You can do it, you deserve it.

  • @sherlocked776
    @sherlocked776 5 лет назад +2

    I loved your channels before all this and I am absolutely even more personally invested and love you even more than before. Addiction is so badly portrayed in society, it's the "drunk uncle in the street" stereotype, but anyone can be struggling with addiction to anything, physically or emotionally, it doesn't matter who you are, what societal class you are, what job you have, how happy you seem. It's a mental and physical health problem, not just "bad life choices", just like major depression you can choose to get better but you didn't choose to have this addiction. The first time my dad (a high-earning actuary, not some stereotype) went to rehab he was terrified (and actually also picked up smoking, seems to be a common thing), but it was so good for him to be around people who were struggling with the same thing. He relapsed but that's another thing that needs to be addressed more in society: relapsing doesn't mean you're hopeless and it doesn't mean you failed, it's so common because it's just like with any mental health disorder. He passed due to his addiction but I have his chips and they are some of my most prized possessions. Seeing your progress and your willingness to share your struggles and victories with us is truly inspiring. I am very much looking forward to your upcoming videos, about mental health and just your life in general, where you're really being you. Seeing people actually respond well to your story is amazing and I was so happy before with how you were using your platform for better pet care but now I am so proud and so genuinely happy (not a good enough word) to see where your channels are going and thank you so so so much for being willing to share and putting yourself out there for the education and greater good of society. The truth about addiction needs so much more exposure, and even without videos specifically about it (which is amazing as is) seeing your chips and keychains in your videos makes my heart so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and I know it'll keep being a struggle but keep going, it's worth it. I got a tattoo of my favorite of the slogans in my dad's honor and to help with my own mental health, and just remember to take it all One Day At A Time💜
    Edit: AlAnon needs so much more exposure, it was so helpful for me and my family in dealing with my dad's addiction and realizing that no matter what we do, he had to get better for him, and that's helped me with my own mental health issues and my loved one's mental health issues as well, we all have to get better for us or it won't stick. AlAnon is truly an amazing program and thank you so much for giving it the exposure it needs.

  • @Bendyzebra
    @Bendyzebra 5 лет назад +10

    I've never had a drug addiction, my addiction comes more in the form of self harming.
    I can understand that constant struggle fighting against what your body and mind craves.

  • @marci3706
    @marci3706 5 лет назад +1

    I am so so proud of how far you've come. I've never personally been a addict, but honestly I think its only because I grew up watching everyone around me be in active addiction. I have a lot of negative feelings towards addicts because of how I was raised and how often I was disappointed by their empty promises - but there is nothing I respect more then an addict actively trying and fighting to get better. You're life is worth it. You are worth it. Sobriety is worth it. You are bigger then your addiction and I am so happy for how far you've come. Keep up the great work babe, you've got this.

  • @ensaladadecol
    @ensaladadecol 5 лет назад +3

    Your experience, strength and hope is so valuable. I want to thank you for spreading the word and sharing openly about the disease and treatment! Thank you! 💕

  • @maddyloz
    @maddyloz 3 года назад +1

    I also went to La Ha. I had a similar experience to you. Everyone was so nice. The staff was amazing. It was a blessing.

  • @grayonthewater
    @grayonthewater 5 лет назад +3

    Dude, it’s insane how much I relate to you even though I’ve never done drugs. Like your past abuse and addition to men and the toxic relationship, like I’ve said everything you’ve said about your experiences with that. So glad you’re sharing your story 😸

  • @ronjafinke5747
    @ronjafinke5747 5 лет назад +1

    This video made me cry even though I don't even know anybody that is addicted. It's just so nice to see you open up about everything and slowly get better after these past two years in which I as a viewer could only guess what made you seem "off" sometimes.
    I never would have guessed you were an addict.
    But with your videos now and you explaining everything I think I start seeing and understanding what makes people become addicted.
    I hope you find strength always when you are thinking about relapsing and keep on working on it.

  • @laurengrosjean
    @laurengrosjean 5 лет назад +19

    Been waiting for this vid!!! (Also the revival of the vlog channel)

  • @maddiejaymes
    @maddiejaymes 5 лет назад +2

    Taylor I am SO fucking proud of you. You did it. You’re doing it. I appreciate your honestly about your personal experience, I think that will help a lot of people.
    No matter what happens, I hope you’re always able to hold on to the feelings sobriety gives you. It’s worth it all. You got this.

  • @RandomJill13
    @RandomJill13 5 лет назад +6

    I love u and support u so much. I've spent a long amount of time in multiple rehabs and it was a huge struggle. I remember laying in the rehab bed praying for my heroin withdraw to stop. Or just praying something would kill me. It gets better, i promise. Stay strong and give it some time.💕

  • @leahwaughtal4000
    @leahwaughtal4000 5 лет назад +2

    My mom is a 20+ year recovering meth addict. You speaking on swapping addictions - and one being relationships/men is so real for me, thinking of the relationships she’s chosen. Needed that perspective today.

  • @iamthelacquerrandy
    @iamthelacquerrandy 5 лет назад +414

    I own a jewelry store and would like to send you a pendant and a letter. Is there a fan mail address that you have?

    • @two-bit8502
      @two-bit8502 5 лет назад +2

      Apparently the comments say shes dead now.

    • @faiiry333
      @faiiry333 5 лет назад +140

      she’s not dead you ignorant ass

    • @moongirl1361
      @moongirl1361 5 лет назад +91

      She’s not dead. Don’t spread false rumors.

    • @two-bit8502
      @two-bit8502 5 лет назад

      @@moongirl1361 make me

    • @MeliTheSagitt1922
      @MeliTheSagitt1922 5 лет назад +9

      You can send me one I like pendants.

  • @beckybee3687
    @beckybee3687 5 лет назад

    i love you girlie. i’m deeply grateful for you and the fact that you’ve been so open about your story. i can’t tell you how much it helps to see someone talking about these issues in a realistic, genuine, no sugar coating kind of way. i’m proud of how you’ve used your channel to perpetuate change and break down stigma when it comes to these topics. thank you taylor for being so honest and open. it helps to know i’m not alone in this.

  • @gabbydodd7027
    @gabbydodd7027 5 лет назад +3

    You’re helping so many people Taylor and we’re all so proud of you❤️

  • @bunniiixo
    @bunniiixo 5 лет назад

    My sister is a recovering addict (8 months clean) which is the longest she’s been clean from drugs in 10 years (mainly heroin/meth) and I myself (I’m 18) am clean from xanax for a yearn a bit and coke for 5 months. Seeing this just makes me appreciate my sister even more than I already do. Yes she put me and my family through some struggles but with the terrible battles and demons she dealt with she’s alive and I’m so grateful. You’re the first person I’ve come across with these types of real, raw videos. Thankyou for posting this. ♥️

  • @miabarragan5542
    @miabarragan5542 5 лет назад +51

    BEST NOTIFICATION I GOT TODAY! I LOVE YOU KEEP GOING STRONG ❤️❤️

  • @AshleySipes
    @AshleySipes 5 лет назад

    I hope it’s not weird to binge watch your channel. My baby woke up hella early and I saw your first story, this morning. Honestly, it’s all that I’ve thought about all day. I just want to say, you’re so beautiful and young and I’m so proud of you. I’m sure that it’s still difficult. Congrats to you for all of the days where you’ve gone to therapy, fed your animals, and took care of yourself. I’m so proud of you.

  • @briannarichardson2018
    @briannarichardson2018 5 лет назад +3

    Thank you for opening up❤️my sister died of an overdose and I miss her. She went to rehab but her insurance wouldn't cover it. She got out and went back to her ways. She died about 3 months later

    • @bibrosko
      @bibrosko 5 лет назад +1

      Im sorry for your loss, life is so unfair.

  • @15fawn
    @15fawn 5 лет назад +1

    It’s simply because you’re so open and comfortable with talking about your addiction that makes your viewers cry along. You’re brutally honest and I respect that so very, very much. Taylor you’ve gotten so far, and I AM sure there’s over a million people falling in love with you throughout this whole journey. Real nice cats too btw❤️❤️

  • @jennwill80
    @jennwill80 5 лет назад +16

    The “high” you felt at first is called the pink cloud.

  • @jessicalittlefield6294
    @jessicalittlefield6294 5 лет назад +2

    I’m so glad you talk about you’re drug addiction. Some people aren’t open about it like you are, but I love watching these videos My dad was an addict and sadly passed away from it. I have a lot of addicts in my family as well. Thanks for the video Taylor, much love too you! 💜

  • @daphneraexo1816
    @daphneraexo1816 5 лет назад +6

    I’M PROUD OF YOU! YOU’RE AMAZING AND STRONG. YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU!! SENDING YOU LOTS OF LOVE ❤️

  • @jabberwock2170
    @jabberwock2170 5 лет назад

    I never leaved a comment before (not because i don’t appreciate your contents, i’m just not used to) but i just foud out your story and i want to give my support. You have been through horrible things and i think you’re strong, honest and worthy of sincere, healty love. I hope the negativity that people can show online doesn’t effect you. Everybody deserves to be happy, especially the ones who have suffered. A huge hug!

  • @SheriNewton
    @SheriNewton 5 лет назад +3

    I'm so proud of you! I'm sure you sharing your experiences with rehab will help many people. You can do this, you are worthy and enough, don't let anyone dim your light again dear

  • @MsStarkid1
    @MsStarkid1 5 лет назад +1

    You going through this has helped me so much. My fiancé is an recovering alcoholic, 30 days sober on the 10! So proud. Thank you for being open about this, it does help people.

  • @carlyd1933
    @carlyd1933 5 лет назад +3

    You sound like such a bright, strong adult woman. I'm so proud of, and happy for you. 😭

  • @humbleturnips
    @humbleturnips 5 лет назад +1

    I love hearing your story! It’s crazy how much you’ve had to overcome, and still need to overcome. Being so raw with your audience could really save somebody’s life. I’m so damn proud of you!!

  • @FrigFrogGaming
    @FrigFrogGaming 5 лет назад +3

    I love this so much. A very close relative of mine is a recovering heroin addict. She is my best friend, and I'm always so scared for her. I love you Taylor. I always try to get her to watch you >w

  • @haleyvanhorn1374
    @haleyvanhorn1374 5 лет назад

    You are such a sweetheart. You never seem to get upset when people challenge you in any way. You explain yourself eloquently and move on.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences with addiction. How quickly yours spiraled is a terrifying testament that it can happen to anyone.

  • @fashunslore
    @fashunslore 5 лет назад +3

    i know this is super insensitive but i just think this is so interesting like i could watch and listen to these stories for hours

  • @altarwall
    @altarwall 5 лет назад +1

    I totally understand feeling the "happiest" in rehab/a facility. Every time I have been admitted into a psychiatric hospital everyone has been so kind and lovely and I've always had a great time. Sometimes I feel homesick for that.

  • @RedRobotCake
    @RedRobotCake 5 лет назад +5

    Excited to see all of the videos to come 😍 proud of you for working hard to stay sober!

  • @lillylilium497
    @lillylilium497 5 лет назад

    I don't know how I landed here as I am not an addict but that being said I have mental health issues and I have been admitted because I was suicidal several times. Honestly, if that video would have been there several years ago, I would not have fought it so hard. I think you being realistic and not painting it as "sunshine and rainbows" as you so poignantly put it makes it so much more relatable and encouraging.
    The moment you consider therapy or rehab, you have done one very important step: You admit that something is not right. Yes, therapy is hard and it doesn't work if you don't want it for yourself but once you commit to it, it changes your life for the better! So, everybody out there who is considering it: Give it a try!

  • @pumpuppthevolume
    @pumpuppthevolume 5 лет назад +41

    and kitty snoozing in the background :)

  • @christeenn.
    @christeenn. 5 лет назад +2

    Posting hour long videos keeps me productive, I listen while I clean lol. I’m glad you’re doing better friend

  • @alyonativonyuk6362
    @alyonativonyuk6362 5 лет назад +7

    First comment!! So stoked for this!! So proud of you!

  • @nickileefish5634
    @nickileefish5634 5 лет назад +2

    So proud of you, it’s so nice to see the real you. Thank you for bringing this inspiring girl back to us. Love you so relatable

  • @laceynicole332
    @laceynicole332 5 лет назад +4

    Would love to see more videos on this channel! Cant get enough of your content. I love you so much! You inspired me to love animals and I even have reptiles and fish of my own because of you. Animals have saved me and changed my life so much and I’m so thankful for how my life has changed because of you! ❤️

  • @Meowlein
    @Meowlein 5 лет назад

    Honestly, you are so strong and im so proud of you for not only getting out of your abusive relationship but also managing to stay sober!! Its really good to see you doing so much better now.

  • @Karasu-fg8fd
    @Karasu-fg8fd 5 лет назад +4

    I know it's not exactly the same, but I am in recovery from a self harm addiction.
    I use it first just when I lost control to get it back.
    Then I used it when something bad happened to punish myself.
    Then when something good happened, because I thought I didn't deserve it.
    At the worst point it changed into different kinds of self harm just all the time.
    There were two parts of my brain fighting and when I finally (after two weeks) managed to go to a psych ward, I thought it was over.
    All I thought was that I should be worse, I should look like a skeleton, have massive scars, etc.
    It was very hard, but even harder once I got out. At that point I thought I had to be better. I had to be normal, so it got worse again (after being clean for some time), then I met new people, managed to get a support system and was clean again.
    I thought I was fine then and I tried to help others not realising I wasn't fine.
    So after a few relapses, I'm clean again and I have been for quite some time.
    Never underestimate Addiction.
    It'll always try to get you into a bad space again. It's hard but it's better than what Addiction does once it has you in it's claws.

  • @sierra5949
    @sierra5949 5 лет назад +2

    This whole thing has made me love ur channel is even more. I'm so glad your doing better and I LOVE these long videos. It's kinda shitty when people have a 5 min video about their addiction and it's like.. .there really not telling us much. But you go in and tell us EVERYTHING. I love it!! ♡

  • @ascoadia282
    @ascoadia282 5 лет назад +5

    It's 6am and I was just about to go to bed but now I've gotta watch this, god damn it Taylor :p
    For realsies though, I'm really glad you're doing this, for yourself and for us and I'm so fucking proud of you 🖤
    ...Now to try glue my eyes open so I don't fall asleep and can watch all of this.

  • @shelbykowalewski1125
    @shelbykowalewski1125 4 года назад

    Thank you for sharing your story I will have 2 years clean from heroin and crack in October and I never thought putting more then 3 months together was possible. We do recover you are an inspiration. I’m proud of you and u made me feel not so crazy because like u I was addicted to relationships before drugs also and was in horrible abusive relationships. Keep on keeping on girl we are ALL SO WORTH IT

  • @lovely-bo2ri
    @lovely-bo2ri 5 лет назад +3

    I’m a year clean of doing something that changed my life. I’m still recovering and trying to accept & forgive myself to forget the dark past and only look to the future

  • @rayslover8526
    @rayslover8526 5 лет назад +1

    After watching both videos, the addict video and this video i still don't understand how you're still alive. What you did and put your body through probably would have killed most people. It's absolutely incredible.
    Continue speaking out about it, it'll only help you grow as well as hopefully help others.

  • @OGkush619
    @OGkush619 5 лет назад +8

    I actually adore you for becoming sober. I'm trying to quit drinking!

    • @gbrielaotero
      @gbrielaotero 5 лет назад +2

      Yes!! You deserve to be happy and healthy! Go for it! This is a power message, hope you do it 🌞

  • @NaomiR51
    @NaomiR51 5 лет назад +2

    I love the fact that you started smiling and seemed really happy when you started talking about all the buildings and facilities your rehab had :D

  • @scaleabrations8544
    @scaleabrations8544 5 лет назад +5

    BE PROUD OF YOUR SCARS - They've made you who you are!

  • @edendore4257
    @edendore4257 5 лет назад +1

    I love your story times. I don’t personally know about drug addiction but I know several people who went through it. I’m proud of you for getting better

  • @RJ-up4jn
    @RJ-up4jn 5 лет назад +24

    My mom went to “The Ranch” and she said it was one of the best experiences she’s ever had.

    • @breetoldyouso
      @breetoldyouso 5 лет назад +3

      The REAL Ranch???? For real??

    • @RJ-up4jn
      @RJ-up4jn 5 лет назад

      breetoldyouso yeah my mom said there’s a few in California. I remember visiting her a few times with my family.

    • @danaarteaga8283
      @danaarteaga8283 5 лет назад

      What is that?

    • @RJ-up4jn
      @RJ-up4jn 5 лет назад

      Danaa Arteaga a Christian rehab. It’s called “U-Turn for Christ” I think but everyone there called it “The Ranch” cause you would take care of animals and stuff. Apparently If you got in trouble you would have to dig holes while someone else reads you Bible verses.

    • @sarasthoughts
      @sarasthoughts 4 года назад +1

      @@RJ-up4jn this sounds horrible