Hey Dr Fox, I still dont have a diagnosis, it's been 3 years. I'm homeless... again. In a shelter now. The more I dig the more I am 100% certain its bpd. I figured out I got alexithymia, turns out it's common with bod, same with homelessness. I didnt know it's one of the most severe and painful mental illness. I guess I should realise how strong I am to still be here fighting for my life. Thanks for everything. If it wasnt for you, I never would have figured any of this out.❤
*Don't sleep on it...this is a time to invest I recently just bought another property valued at over $15m. I wish knew the right investment firm to invest with earlier, better late than never thought.*
I watch your videos from Brazil and I need to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate your work and how genuine, careful you are. You are an amazing person and you’re changing my life. I’ll never forget ❤
This is actually very helpful. I have struggled for a very long time to not only identify what I'm feeling, and differentiate between bodily sensations and emotions, but to express what I'm feeling to others. It was a damper in my relationships and definitely added to the chaos, confusion, and pain. Although I've worked on the emotion wheel in therapy and studied faces and emotional responses to build insight, I still find that there are a great many sensations and emotions that seem foreign and it is distressing. It's rather unsettling to have to actively analyze my own feelings and bodily sensations to discern what it is that I'm actually feeling. I described it as having a big ball of emotional yarn, a multitude of different colored threads, all intermingled and tangled. Darn tangle fairies! Now I have to unravel the mess. I'm improving but progress is not easy.
There are times when I'm talking to someone in my support network that I ask if the BPD is having me see things in a certain light that's skewed, or if it's something they would respond to and feel similar to in the given situation which I outline like a police report -- "Just the facts, ma'am." Then I'm either validated or shown a different angle I'm missing. The feedback can be VERY helpful. I hope others do the same within their personal supporters. It's often a game-changer at times!
To do this is to ACCEPT and BE MINDFUL OF the times when there are other angles to said situation or it'll merely throw walls up when this is a CRUCIAL time to be listening and assessing self and situation. I can't tell you how much it has made me more aware of the times it's the BPD lens. When it's something they would feel similar about, that is also enlightening to see if I'm on track with my emotions. CRITICAL to do, at least for me anyway. Not being receptive of the feedback stunts the growth we're looking for gaining!!!
As a transgender woman with a bpd diagnosis, its been very interesting to see how transitioning has affected my emotional awareness. It feels like so much of my emotions are so much more manifest since medically transitioning. Everything in the box felt fuzzy like i was trying to play whats in the box with big gloves on. I still struggle with processing and figuring out my emotions a lot, but its such a relief to be able to make them more tangible. I would love a video on the intersection of gender dysphoria and BPD.
Great explanation I have never heard of Alexithmia. I was 29 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and borderline personality disorder along with other joyful diagnosis. And I think about 32 or 33 when I was informally diagnosed with dyslexia by my principal who had been a special ed teacher for 25 years. Looking back of my life it makes perfect sense why I struggle so much throughout all education to keep jobs etc etc. I am curious as to learning disabilities being in the DSM-5. The impacts of learning disabilities in the development of mental illness. As in maybe the neglect of not seeing the struggles of communication the struggles of socialization throughout childhood and how that eventually develops into a mental illness. Dyslexia is seeing things differently, struggling with reading and writing and communication. And how through the formative years that neglect, or inability to grow intellectually could form something like borderline personality disorder. 40% of inmates are said to have dyslexia. I am just curious as to The process of learning and development of a child especially with a neurodivergent mind, could lead to personality disorders. If educational neglect or misunderstanding of how people learn or neurodiversity could we diminish The development of mental illness? Wondering if anybody else has the same thoughts. Are there studies done correlating learning disabilities in differences with mental illness?
@DrDanielFox I have never been diagnosed bpd but I think I have always perhaps been this way to a degree. I think it became much worse after family trauma stress an assault and then more trauma and prolonged stress. During the assault I received heavy blows to my forehead. After which I was paranoid and aggressive, and thought of myself as emotionally retarded at the time. I have found your videos very helpful some 20 years later. Alone In Berlin is my personal book recommendation. I consider it a masterpiece, the authors story is like literature itself. I find it hard to come to terms with where I am in life and the distortions and behaviour of the past. I could have just enjoyed my life but there has always been this demon torturing me in my head. I try to move forward with acceptance and compassion for myself. Many thanks.❤
Connecting body sensations to emotions has helped me stay grounded, doesn’t make it feel better, makes it easier to flow through the sensation to the emotion to have power over the reaction
I learned during research that most insurance providers, private or government, classified Personality Disorders as an Axis 2 diagnosis, which means that it is considered less severe than schizophrenia and or Bipolar Disorder. If all of these individuals who watch your content could write letters to advocate for treatment coverage, how would you suggest that we do this?
Axis ii is not a severity indicator and the axis system was abolished with the dsm5. Personality disorders are now in theory with everything else and I think professionals and others and understanding PDs more, which is a good thing. Thanks for commenting.
I have not seen it but can you please do a video on the family in our head. I have been trying to evict them for years and they won't leave they are squatters and I feel it keeps my BPD very active as they hear things and then twist it all. I have been suffering with BPD for over 40 years and I need this family to go away before it destroys another family. Thank you Dr.Fox your videos and books have helped me so much
Thanks! I've heard some mention of these studies elsewhere on RUclips but the detail and solutions you provided were really helpful. I've recently found meditation helpful also as a way to slow down and inventory my body and connect feelings to sensations as well. It would be interesting to know if there's a statistical connection between reduction of alexithymia and meditation.
Great video. When I was in a group DBT class they gave me a sheet with a list of emotions on both sides. It took me forever to figure out how I felt (I still question if I picked the right ones) and I was pretty confused as to why it was so difficult. The list of symptoms for alexithymia you gave was pretty familiar, I'll have to look into it more. Thanks
And then there's the way other people blame you for not being able to articulate your emotions and refuse to treat your feelings as valid unless you can. Hate that.
Is there a connection between bpd and obsessive thoughts of people i love/ people around me will die? I think about the scenarios every day an it’s physical painful for me
@@ab.122 I am happy I could help. Ussually with mental health it went like this for me too. I researched the hell out of mental health to find out what's wrong with me because mental health professional have no clue how to differentiate or put the right diagnosis. I diagnosed myself first and then the doctor confirm it as well. I have ADHD and probably I am autistic too. I am not confirmed by a doctor yet, as autistic, but I can check all the boxes.
Thanks for the video. Been on a mental health journey since the pandemic began. Me, Mdd and C-ptsd since a teen. Pandemic stress evolved my mental health diagnoses. My question for ya,, the box is full of past traumaSSS It’s very difficult for me to work through a flashback and find the emotion name. Just discovered this the other day with my dbt therapist.
Dr. Fox, i would be really curious about the nuance around "self-harm" versus engaging in consensual social activities that include the receiving of injury, specifically in BDSM. i'm not sure if you could talk about this in a video, because of the demonetization thing. but i would be curious as to what the psych community views as the difference between self-harm and engaging in consensual S&M--sexual and/or nonsexual--and if there is a difference in attitudes towards the two practices, why they are therapeutically seen as different. and does that view change if the patient has BPD?
Sometimes I FEEL ALONE.... VERY ALONE .DR.FOX😢 i FEEL DEEP EMPATHY.... SUPER EMPATH! MY FEELINGS THOUGH ...HARD , & NOW 🎶🔥😎✨🎧 THIS DJ SEEMS TO BE AWARE OF (** DISASSOCIATION**) HAPPENING. A LOT. I DON'T HAVE BPD DISORDER BUT SEVERE DEPRESSION PTSD AND TRAUMA'S
This was a huge reason why I had a major smoking addiction my freshman year of college, because the calmness and peace I felt from the cannabis allowed me to slow down, identify my emotions, and feel my bodily sensations
I have heard that the butterflies in your stomach feeling is actually an indicator of flee or fight impulses because your subconscious thinks the other person is unsafe. Do you think that is actually true, or maybe it’s possibly incorrect in people with borderline?
Maybe we feel the butterflies because there's that feeling of joy combined with a risk of being hurt? That fear of abandonment? I never thought of the butterflies that way -- thanks for that thought.
it can also be excitement---fear of failure before giving a speech--when it is just the right amount, it energizes us. It is good to notice if we feel excitement, fear, dread, anxiety or what...with one person I thought I was in love but I realized I felt anxious around him.
I've been educating myself for 3 years and never heard this term...I had to print out a damn feelings wheel to waterboy to understand myself bc I'll cry or have a panic attack with no awareness we to what triggered me. Thanks for the info.
I find when in a stressful situation I can’t feel anything and dissociate. Is that ONE of the aspects that you are talking about? I had never heard of this term before but I understood the description.
What’s the opposite of alexithymia? Because I I think I have that? I’m not joking. I feel a million emotions all at once all the time but I have no issue identifying them. I feel emotions I shouldn’t. Like if I see something horrible on the news I’m as sad as if it actually happened to me. It’s not empathy. I actually take on that feeling.
I have a question Dr Fox. I have recently diagnosed as having BPD and Bi Polar and i very frequently have issues determining my emotions, what my triggers are, and cant explain what im feeling. Most days i cant decide whether its BPd or the bi polar tht is causing me the most issues . How can i get better at figureing any of it out??.
no idea what the heck i'm feeling at any given time, generally sometimes its fun as sh*t, because its like all of a sudden you're at a bowling alley and its disco night or something, but you have no idea why you're at the bowling alley, nor how you got there but other times, it just feels like your emotions are trying to harm and demoralize, discourage you entirely, and you can't figure out what they mean no matter how consistently you try to, or even meditate ect
Would you be able to talk about how this affects sexual interactions? the mental excitement of being with your partner, but going “numb” during the act
My emotions change on how people treat me almost instantly like all or nothing.... it can change and change back how I feel towards them based on how they r treating me. But that's normal right. ? Like I can love someone but if I feel attacked or if they just nag or yell at me I can also act like they don't exist. Soooooo where does that fall
How can one develop one’s authentic self after crafting an ever shifting persona based on things picked up from different ppl and features that would make one be appreciated. Feels like my identity has always been a shape-shifting Frankestein , how to build an authentic identity?
When I am stressed I move away from what is stressing me. I often feel that I will not let things I cant control make me afraid. I have to do something to change where I am and when possible do something to inmprove in a postive way the situation. First I learned to ask myself do I have an active part in this outside stress-related issue. If so what part?
As I listen to alexithymia, I feel like it doesn’t fit… is that a good thing or a bad thing? Does that mean I might not have BPD either? Or just that my BPD might not have that comorbid disorder?
It's so heartbreaking being a favourite person, especially being an infj which making friends is hard. And the devalue and discard with no explanation. And I still work at the same place 😢
Catcher in the rye?!?!? Isn't that the book where the main character regards everyone as idiots? I think I've read it in my teens or early 20s. Maybe reading it with my current maturity and view of the world may be a different experience. It made me so angry at the world when I read it.
i mean it starts out like that but you learn that there’s actually depth to his perspective like his disdain for others is a defence mechanism for his persistent feelings of loneliness, sadness and grief. love too, actually. i’d say worth a re-read
The older I get the more I think that "putting yourself in someone else's perspective" is utter nonsense! I don't think that's actually possible. I mean think about it, as hard as I try to put myself in the perspective of Hitler...... I'm just never going to get to the point where I empathize with the man and understand what he was going through. I don't think it's possible to see the world through the perspective of another human being. And furthermore it seems like anytime were asked to do so, it's because another human being has completely treated us wrong and they need forgiveness. Actually it is nearly 100% of the time that this is the case. No one ever asks you to "take the perspective of another person" when that person is out in the world doing amazing and great things and never hurting anyone. I mean if we're going to have a conversation about these concepts, can we at least start from a premise of defining what would actually be considered "normal or healthy". I often wonder if anyone has ever walked in to a mental health providers office for a "consultation" and was actually deemed perfectly mentally healthy and stable. I for one think that believing you can actually "put yourself into the perspective of another person"...... is delusional! The perfect example of this is when a black person says "I know what white people are thinking...... That's the only reason that white dad shot that black guy who was trying to stab his daughter, because that white guy is actually a racist, I know this because I know what white people think...... If the guy trying to stab his daughter had been a white guy, then the white dad wouldn't have shot him. " See how delusional things get real quick, when people claim to be able to "put themselves into the perspective of another person". People tend to forget that when you're doing that you bring your own personal biases into "that other perspective" with you.
I don't think you should encourage people to adopt pseudoscientific labels describing just normal responses to trauma, that exists within a descriptive diagnosis such as borderline already. It only adds confusion and adopts the ideology of neuropsychology that isn't useful nor scientifically sound, especially in diagnosis. Such feelings, or lack thereof can be simply due to stress or an unsustainable lifestyle in general (hypertension etc). I understand you want to hop on the train of various pseudoscientific conditions blowing up on tiktok and so on but please don't. Don't take your cues from tiktok.
But how do you figure out which emotions are ur true emotional state and not the one that is in the moment and stop yourself from acting on those emotions when they are not really how u feel...
Holly F*ck that's what I was trying to figure out in myself just the other day. I can be empathetic but seeing others side or perspective is hard as all get out! I see it my way and can explain why the person should see it my way but I don't understand it from someone else's perspective on the issue. Kind of like I tell women they just need to leave an abusive situation no if and or buts however when it came to my abusive relationship I stayed for the same reasons they gave and didn't see it until someone pointed it out
I have questions about asbergers or autism spectrum disorder. Why dont i get what their face is saying. Like i c u r upsst i just dont understand what i did to do that. I do care and i dont understand. Thanks im only about half through. U know us too well dont skip the research xD
Is it okay if Dr. Fox is my new favourite person? 😂
same tbh lol
Hehe
YES YES! THANK YOU GOD BLESSED YOU ALWAYS!
Yes.
❤❤❤❤MY FAVORITE 😁 DR.FOX ...TOO...💯🌈🎼🎼🔥🎧✨🥀🎶🙏🙏🙏FEELINGS R UNCOMFORTABLE
Hey Dr Fox, I still dont have a diagnosis, it's been 3 years. I'm homeless... again. In a shelter now. The more I dig the more I am 100% certain its bpd. I figured out I got alexithymia, turns out it's common with bod, same with homelessness. I didnt know it's one of the most severe and painful mental illness. I guess I should realise how strong I am to still be here fighting for my life. Thanks for everything. If it wasnt for you, I never would have figured any of this out.❤
I wish you strength on your journey and i know you can suffer deeply but im rooting for you
You do lifesaving work and I can’t thank you enough
You are so welcome
*Don't sleep on it...this is a time to invest I recently just bought another property valued at over $15m. I wish knew the right investment firm to invest with earlier, better late than never thought.*
HOW! I would really appreciate if you tell me how to go about it.
This is all thanks to Mr Philip McCarthy. I invest with him and have made a lot of money investing with him
I also invest with Philip McCarthy, i make about a 30,000USD every month.
I heard a lot of investing with Mr Philip McCarthy how good is he, please how safe are the profit
He's on What's Apk, 👇
The Catcher in the Rye is a must-read, perfect example!
I watch your videos from Brazil and I need to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate your work and how genuine, careful you are. You are an amazing person and you’re changing my life. I’ll never forget ❤
You are very welcome and I’m so glad to hear that you enjoy my material and that you find it helpful. That means a lot. Please be well and take care.
This is actually very helpful.
I have struggled for a very long time to not only identify what I'm feeling, and differentiate between bodily sensations and emotions, but to express what I'm feeling to others. It was a damper in my relationships and definitely added to the chaos, confusion, and pain.
Although I've worked on the emotion wheel in therapy and studied faces and emotional responses to build insight, I still find that there are a great many sensations and emotions that seem foreign and it is distressing.
It's rather unsettling to have to actively analyze my own feelings and bodily sensations to discern what it is that I'm actually feeling.
I described it as having a big ball of emotional yarn, a multitude of different colored threads, all intermingled and tangled. Darn tangle fairies! Now I have to unravel the mess.
I'm improving but progress is not easy.
I’m in the middle of watching this twice. This is really good information, thanks Dr. Fox.
There are times when I'm talking to someone in my support network that I ask if the BPD is having me see things in a certain light that's skewed, or if it's something they would respond to and feel similar to in the given situation which I outline like a police report -- "Just the facts, ma'am." Then I'm either validated or shown a different angle I'm missing. The feedback can be VERY helpful. I hope others do the same within their personal supporters. It's often a game-changer at times!
To do this is to ACCEPT and BE MINDFUL OF the times when there are other angles to said situation or it'll merely throw walls up when this is a CRUCIAL time to be listening and assessing self and situation. I can't tell you how much it has made me more aware of the times it's the BPD lens. When it's something they would feel similar about, that is also enlightening to see if I'm on track with my emotions. CRITICAL to do, at least for me anyway. Not being receptive of the feedback stunts the growth we're looking for gaining!!!
As a transgender woman with a bpd diagnosis, its been very interesting to see how transitioning has affected my emotional awareness. It feels like so much of my emotions are so much more manifest since medically transitioning. Everything in the box felt fuzzy like i was trying to play whats in the box with big gloves on. I still struggle with processing and figuring out my emotions a lot, but its such a relief to be able to make them more tangible. I would love a video on the intersection of gender dysphoria and BPD.
Congrats on finding yourself 🎉
Great explanation I have never heard of Alexithmia. I was 29 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and borderline personality disorder along with other joyful diagnosis. And I think about 32 or 33 when I was informally diagnosed with dyslexia by my principal who had been a special ed teacher for 25 years. Looking back of my life it makes perfect sense why I struggle so much throughout all education to keep jobs etc etc. I am curious as to learning disabilities being in the DSM-5. The impacts of learning disabilities in the development of mental illness. As in maybe the neglect of not seeing the struggles of communication the struggles of socialization throughout childhood and how that eventually develops into a mental illness. Dyslexia is seeing things differently, struggling with reading and writing and communication. And how through the formative years that neglect, or inability to grow intellectually could form something like borderline personality disorder. 40% of inmates are said to have dyslexia. I am just curious as to The process of learning and development of a child especially with a neurodivergent mind, could lead to personality disorders. If educational neglect or misunderstanding of how people learn or neurodiversity could we diminish The development of mental illness? Wondering if anybody else has the same thoughts. Are there studies done correlating learning disabilities in differences with mental illness?
Thanks for sharing.
@DrDanielFox I have never been diagnosed bpd but I think I have always perhaps been this way to a degree. I think it became much worse after family trauma stress an assault and then more trauma and prolonged stress. During the assault I received heavy blows to my forehead. After which I was paranoid and aggressive, and thought of myself as emotionally retarded at the time.
I have found your videos very helpful some 20 years later.
Alone In Berlin is my personal book recommendation.
I consider it a masterpiece, the authors story is like literature itself.
I find it hard to come to terms with where I am in life and the distortions and behaviour of the past.
I could have just enjoyed my life but there has always been this demon torturing me in my head.
I try to move forward with acceptance and compassion for myself.
Many thanks.❤
Connecting body sensations to emotions has helped me stay grounded, doesn’t make it feel better, makes it easier to flow through the sensation to the emotion to have power over the reaction
I learned during research that most insurance providers, private or government, classified Personality Disorders as an Axis 2 diagnosis, which means that it is considered less severe than schizophrenia and or Bipolar Disorder. If all of these individuals who watch your content could write letters to advocate for treatment coverage, how would you suggest that we do this?
Axis ii is not a severity indicator and the axis system was abolished with the dsm5. Personality disorders are now in theory with everything else and I think professionals and others and understanding PDs more, which is a good thing. Thanks for commenting.
I have not seen it but can you please do a video on the family in our head. I have been trying to evict them for years and they won't leave they are squatters and I feel it keeps my BPD very active as they hear things and then twist it all. I have been suffering with BPD for over 40 years and I need this family to go away before it destroys another family. Thank you Dr.Fox your videos and books have helped me so much
This video was immensely enlightening. It helped define so many topics, about which I had been confused for a Long Time.
Thank You !
Thanks! I've heard some mention of these studies elsewhere on RUclips but the detail and solutions you provided were really helpful. I've recently found meditation helpful also as a way to slow down and inventory my body and connect feelings to sensations as well. It would be interesting to know if there's a statistical connection between reduction of alexithymia and meditation.
Great video. When I was in a group DBT class they gave me a sheet with a list of emotions on both sides. It took me forever to figure out how I felt (I still question if I picked the right ones) and I was pretty confused as to why it was so difficult. The list of symptoms for alexithymia you gave was pretty familiar, I'll have to look into it more. Thanks
And then there's the way other people blame you for not being able to articulate your emotions and refuse to treat your feelings as valid unless you can. Hate that.
Is there a connection between bpd and obsessive thoughts of people i love/ people around me will die? I think about the scenarios every day an it’s physical painful for me
Those obsessive thoughts sounds like anxiety. I am not an expert though.
@@naomilarisavoicu ı went to see a doc and he told me it’s a form of anxiety so you were right thank you 🌸
@@ab.122 I am happy I could help. Ussually with mental health it went like this for me too. I researched the hell out of mental health to find out what's wrong with me because mental health professional have no clue how to differentiate or put the right diagnosis. I diagnosed myself first and then the doctor confirm it as well. I have ADHD and probably I am autistic too. I am not confirmed by a doctor yet, as autistic, but I can check all the boxes.
Thanks for the video.
Been on a mental health journey since the pandemic began.
Me, Mdd and C-ptsd since a teen. Pandemic stress evolved my mental health diagnoses.
My question for ya,, the box is full of past traumaSSS
It’s very difficult for me to work through a flashback and find the emotion name.
Just discovered this the other day with my dbt therapist.
Dr. Fox, i would be really curious about the nuance around "self-harm" versus engaging in consensual social activities that include the receiving of injury, specifically in BDSM. i'm not sure if you could talk about this in a video, because of the demonetization thing. but i would be curious as to what the psych community views as the difference between self-harm and engaging in consensual S&M--sexual and/or nonsexual--and if there is a difference in attitudes towards the two practices, why they are therapeutically seen as different. and does that view change if the patient has BPD?
Thank you Dr. Fox. This video is very helpful.💗
Crime and Punishment is a good character driven read.
Sometimes I FEEL ALONE.... VERY ALONE .DR.FOX😢 i FEEL DEEP EMPATHY.... SUPER EMPATH!
MY FEELINGS THOUGH ...HARD , & NOW 🎶🔥😎✨🎧 THIS DJ SEEMS TO BE AWARE OF (** DISASSOCIATION**) HAPPENING. A LOT. I DON'T HAVE BPD DISORDER BUT SEVERE DEPRESSION PTSD AND TRAUMA'S
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling alone. Remember that you're not alone in this, and there are people who care about you. Stay strong!
This was a huge reason why I had a major smoking addiction my freshman year of college, because the calmness and peace I felt from the cannabis allowed me to slow down, identify my emotions, and feel my bodily sensations
Is scalp picking a form of NSSI, and is that often associated with bpd?
Thanks for the video
I have heard that the butterflies in your stomach feeling is actually an indicator of flee or fight impulses because your subconscious thinks the other person is unsafe. Do you think that is actually true, or maybe it’s possibly incorrect in people with borderline?
Maybe we feel the butterflies because there's that feeling of joy combined with a risk of being hurt? That fear of abandonment? I never thought of the butterflies that way -- thanks for that thought.
it can also be excitement---fear of failure before giving a speech--when it is just the right amount, it energizes us. It is good to notice if we feel excitement, fear, dread, anxiety or what...with one person I thought I was in love but I realized I felt anxious around him.
I've been educating myself for 3 years and never heard this term...I had to print out a damn feelings wheel to waterboy to understand myself bc I'll cry or have a panic attack with no awareness we to what triggered me. Thanks for the info.
I find when in a stressful situation I can’t feel anything and dissociate. Is that ONE of the aspects that you are talking about? I had never heard of this term before but I understood the description.
What’s the opposite of alexithymia? Because I I think I have that? I’m not joking. I feel a million emotions all at once all the time but I have no issue identifying them. I feel emotions I shouldn’t. Like if I see something horrible on the news I’m as sad as if it actually happened to me. It’s not empathy. I actually take on that feeling.
I have a question Dr Fox. I have recently diagnosed as having BPD and Bi Polar and i very frequently have issues determining my emotions, what my triggers are, and cant explain what im feeling. Most days i cant decide whether its BPd or the bi polar tht is causing me the most issues . How can i get better at figureing any of it out??.
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom truly good memorable book. Hmm, I should re-read t!
I didn't think it was a sock...😂
Frankenstein or Crime and Punishment are both downers (and the latter is hard to read) but have very emotional characters
Thank you for these videos
Glad you like them! Thanks
This was so helpful. Will be sharing with therapist and husband ❤
no idea what the heck i'm feeling at any given time, generally
sometimes its fun as sh*t, because its like all of a sudden you're at a bowling alley and its disco night or something, but you have no idea why you're at the bowling alley, nor how you got there
but other times, it just feels like your emotions are trying to harm and demoralize, discourage you entirely, and you can't figure out what they mean no matter how consistently you try to, or even meditate ect
Would you be able to talk about how this affects sexual interactions? the mental excitement of being with your partner, but going “numb” during the act
My emotions change on how people treat me almost instantly like all or nothing.... it can change and change back how I feel towards them based on how they r treating me. But that's normal right. ? Like I can love someone but if I feel attacked or if they just nag or yell at me I can also act like they don't exist.
Soooooo where does that fall
How can one develop one’s authentic self after crafting an ever shifting persona based on things picked up from different ppl and features that would make one be appreciated. Feels like my identity has always been a shape-shifting Frankestein , how to build an authentic identity?
When I am stressed I move away from what is stressing me. I often feel that I will not let things I cant control make me afraid. I have to do something to change where I am and when possible do something to inmprove in a postive way the situation. First I learned to ask myself do I have an active part in this outside stress-related issue. If so what part?
As I listen to alexithymia, I feel like it doesn’t fit… is that a good thing or a bad thing? Does that mean I might not have BPD either? Or just that my BPD might not have that comorbid disorder?
Thanks so much Dr fox maybe it's brain fungus. ...my new therapist knows zip. I'm on my way to get a tattoo that say," I love mom"
Does alexithymia make it sometimes incredibly dfficult to tell if you like something or not?
It's so heartbreaking being a favourite person, especially being an infj which making friends is hard. And the devalue and discard with no explanation. And I still work at the same place 😢
I can understand how tough it must be to feel devalued and discarded without any explanation. Hang in there, you're not alone in this struggle.
Great❤
How do you know if Alexithymia?
Catcher in the rye?!?!? Isn't that the book where the main character regards everyone as idiots? I think I've read it in my teens or early 20s. Maybe reading it with my current maturity and view of the world may be a different experience. It made me so angry at the world when I read it.
i mean it starts out like that but you learn that there’s actually depth to his perspective like his disdain for others is a defence mechanism for his persistent feelings of loneliness, sadness and grief. love too, actually. i’d say worth a re-read
The older I get the more I think that "putting yourself in someone else's perspective" is utter nonsense! I don't think that's actually possible. I mean think about it, as hard as I try to put myself in the perspective of Hitler...... I'm just never going to get to the point where I empathize with the man and understand what he was going through.
I don't think it's possible to see the world through the perspective of another human being. And furthermore it seems like anytime were asked to do so, it's because another human being has completely treated us wrong and they need forgiveness. Actually it is nearly 100% of the time that this is the case.
No one ever asks you to "take the perspective of another person" when that person is out in the world doing amazing and great things and never hurting anyone.
I mean if we're going to have a conversation about these concepts, can we at least start from a premise of defining what would actually be considered "normal or healthy".
I often wonder if anyone has ever walked in to a mental health providers office for a "consultation" and was actually deemed perfectly mentally healthy and stable.
I for one think that believing you can actually "put yourself into the perspective of another person"...... is delusional!
The perfect example of this is when a black person says "I know what white people are thinking...... That's the only reason that white dad shot that black guy who was trying to stab his daughter, because that white guy is actually a racist, I know this because I know what white people think...... If the guy trying to stab his daughter had been a white guy, then the white dad wouldn't have shot him. "
See how delusional things get real quick, when people claim to be able to "put themselves into the perspective of another person".
People tend to forget that when you're doing that you bring your own personal biases into "that other perspective" with you.
You did amazing, but my ADHD couldn't follow along
how do u get alexithymia
What's in the box!? What's in the booooxxxx!?
I thought sock straight away
I thought sponge.
Wow, this is difficult!!
I don't think you should encourage people to adopt pseudoscientific labels describing just normal responses to trauma, that exists within a descriptive diagnosis such as borderline already. It only adds confusion and adopts the ideology of neuropsychology that isn't useful nor scientifically sound, especially in diagnosis.
Such feelings, or lack thereof can be simply due to stress or an unsustainable lifestyle in general (hypertension etc). I understand you want to hop on the train of various pseudoscientific conditions blowing up on tiktok and so on but please don't. Don't take your cues from tiktok.
He doesn’t . He is a bpd specialist with a PhD . He is extremely knowledgeable.
We are very fortunate to have these videos from Dr Fox. He is a licenced Psychologist in the state of Texas and has not jumped on any bandwagon.
But how do you figure out which emotions are ur true emotional state and not the one that is in the moment and stop yourself from acting on those emotions when they are not really how u feel...
Holly F*ck that's what I was trying to figure out in myself just the other day. I can be empathetic but seeing others side or perspective is hard as all get out! I see it my way and can explain why the person should see it my way but I don't understand it from someone else's perspective on the issue. Kind of like I tell women they just need to leave an abusive situation no if and or buts however when it came to my abusive relationship I stayed for the same reasons they gave and didn't see it until someone pointed it out
I have questions about asbergers or autism spectrum disorder. Why dont i get what their face is saying. Like i c u r upsst i just dont understand what i did to do that. I do care and i dont understand. Thanks im only about half through. U know us too well dont skip the research xD