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I have lived in SE Asia for over 10 years, I’ve been back in Australia for five years, after having two relationships, one was an Isaan lady (she was 25 and I was 38), I’m now single again living in Australia and mid 40s. I have basically been ostracised by the naive Iess travelled here and while getting sober in AA where I was open and honest about my drinking adventures in Thailand, I was labelled a sex predator and worse, I was physically threatened in AA and harassed by uneducated untraveled envious white Aussies . I had to leave AA. (3 years sober and going strong) I appreciate this explanation of how single men devoid of love and action for so many years are not the PREDATOR , they are the PREY! Having said that, some of the Thai Girls have been conditioned to learn how to get money from travellers and have multiple short term relationships. They think it’s normal and don’t fully understand that they could be much better off in a relationship which is based on love rather than money. They like to show bank deposit receipts on social media, showing off the huge amounts of money travellers send them after they go back home and this encourages more Thai girls to take advantage of more lonely men coming to Thailand genuinely looking for love. In my opinion Thai women are mostly a lot more genuine and honest than western women. A Thai girl will ask for money (all the time 😂❤) but most would never steal it from you. Can’t wait to get back to SE Asia, the food and services is disgusting here and so are a lot of the people. 😊 Bring it On !
Good advice. They chose the country, they took the risk and they paid the price. "Your not the predator you're the pray", I love that line. My wife took just about everything after 23 years of marriage and raising two kids together right here in America. You don't have to go to Thailand for that.
Same here 20 years wasted with women in Australia I think it’s called life don’t get jaded Don’t be scared look for happiness There are ways to move forward
I met a girl on a forum 16 years my junior when i was in between jobs she asked if i had enough money to get to Thailand because she'd take care of me when i got there and she did 15 years ago. when i got a job a gave her 20K Baht a month and asked her to take care of living arrangements with it. 6 months later i asked her if she was getting enough money, she showed me her bank book and there was more in there than i had given her. when i questioned her about the money she said she thought we were saving for our future, i went all in at that point and have never regretted it she and i aren't rich she has a one seat hairdressing salon and i'm retired, we go to the UK once or twice a year for holidays and in all honesty she's the best thing that ever happened to me. Their are really good women in Thailand.Oh and she's still really Beautiful and caring at 50.
@@marcussmith4913I think there are a lot more good woman than bad. It depends on the place, don't expect a lot of good woman from a bar or casino though. Overall I do believe that there're more good people than bad people in the world.
Brilliant. I had a thai wife , we split up dew to family pressure on her , she had my money in her account , long story, she gave me everything back , I tell my mates that have lived in thailand for decades, and they carnt believe , she returned everything. I still think about her , it was down to her having to support her mother and her sisters , did not seem to be doing the same ,so it caused problems for me . She was ji dee a good heart . There are great women in thailand. Also there are women that will have your eyes out . If your a good judge of people , you know good people . Think if they are in a bar , selling the money maker , it's money money . No money, no honey . If a uk girl asked you to buy her a car or build her a house, you would bail . My advice keep your money in your pocket , lissen don't talk. Keep your eyes open Cheers Ryan
I met a girl on a bus and asked if she knew cheap clean accommodation. we talked for two hours laughing. When we got off the bus she said follow me. She took me home pointed at the room and said thats for you I sleep on couch. Two weeks later I thanked her for showing me around and being so kind. I paid her fairly although she didnt ask for money. Later she invited me to Ban Kruat to visit a house warming party and later to a Cambodian wedding. I met her family and after three days the elders of the family welcomed me into the web. Turns out she owned two farms with her sister. She told me nothing about how she had more money than me and the reason we are still in contact is because....she asked me if I wanted a Thai wife My response was I want a best friend first. She admired that and we built trust on that. Good on you for finding your best friend first.
I left out detail but yeah we have a good friendship....never sexual. I think we are both a bit jaded but we get along. She's never asked me for a penny. In fact her family has put me up. I was so impressed with the hospitality. It was an amazing experience. More to come even as friends. @@satianable
Thailand is very much what you make of it. There is beauty, happiness, simplicity, and freedom if you're looking for it. There are also people looking to take advantage of you, just like anywhere else. Keep your head on, and you can have an amazing life here. Great thoughts on the topic, Ryan.
@@thenakedguru The information about scammers is on the internet. People complain about not knowing the warning signs and lose their bank deposits, house and condos. I can only say ..... sorry. Think with your brain not the twig.
Totally agree, my wife has a degree, her own business and car, since I have been here I have lived Totally on her income, never had to transfer money from England, and as a Yorkshireman I was surprised to find somebody tighter than me. Her 20 year old Honda Civic that she bought new is not going to be replaced as she said it is still giving good service, and she's not worried about keeping up with the Jones's. I have never been asked for money by her or her family, even Sinsod, and a good sign of a genuine relationship with a Thai lady is that they are very loving and affectionate in private but not so much in public, if they do the opposite, think to yourself, why?
Brilliant to hear this John & I know others in the same position. It's a shame the often bad press many Thai women get, especially when it's usually down to the foreigner not meeting the right types. All the best
Thais are mostly conservative people/culture. We do not make out and do tongue hockey in public with our mate. Holding hands is okay. Being overtly affectionately is usually seen as someone trying to trap foreigners for a leg up for them. Usually in the night life industry. Thailand is a Bhudist country and conservative.
As someone who learned the hard way, this is excellent advice Ryan. I was young, foolish and very trusting. I hold no animosity towards the girl, she was just trying to provide for her family. The common reaction from friends who've "fallen in love" is - my girl is different, she really loves me and doesn't mind the 40 years age difference. 😂 It seems that these fellas need to experience the pain in order to get the message.
Excellent and insight full video. Well grounded. Yes, we hear so many Thailand horror stories, but I am sure there are a lot happier story. I have an amazing Thai wife and at the start of our relationship there was no mention of money ever. You just must be careful and find the right partner. Thai women are caring, family driven and will treat you like a king. All they want back is a loving and caring partner.
You’re so right. Old men looking for young women won’t bring happiness. They have to find someone in the same life chapter. Can be younger but not 2 generations removed. That will only lead to sadness
Great stuff again. Should be compulsory viewing for every starry eyed expat planning to live here. Don't think I've ever seen another more in depth explanation of the trials and triumphs of a Thai/Farang union. Great input from others on the subject too. Excellent Well done 👏
I used to look down on the 60+ farang with 20 year old thai wives. The more time I live in Thailand, the more this changed. In most cases, both parties understand the arrangement and who am I to decide what true love is? The man finds companionship he would be hard pushed to find at home, the girl gets security for herself and often her family too. My wife is Thai. We met when she was 20 and I was 25. We have been together for 10 years. I think the fact she was a Hi-So girl rather than a bar girl is probably a very important part of why we have been one of the rare success stories in Farang/Thai relationships. She was never after my money because I didnt have any! 😂
what suggestions would you give to a 25 yo guy to have success dating (and i mean dating not F around) in thailand? i’ve seen a lot of thai/westerner couple, and although they work out, i see a lot of lacking of true love/emotion in those relationships. i don’t want to judge how they meet, but turns out most of them came from Isaan. And let’s be honest, I don’t think every western is good at talking thai, so i’ve my own idea about they met, and that’s all fine. But I don’t like how the relationship turn out, where the women cares more about hanging out more with their thai friends and kids without truly caring about the husband. Maybe I’ve a romantic idea of love and relationships, cause I don’t think that give a beer, preparing food and “take care” means love. Maybe it’s me, or maybe something is wrong in one of them, or maybe it’s just all down to cultural differences and how different nations show love. Hope to hear from you, wish you all the best! 🤙🏼
I am from the Uk and have been married to my Thai wife for 6 years and we have known each other 7 years . We just clicked in a coffee shop and were married three months later. I waited over 3 years to build a house . We are very happy and both have careers. My job is better paid so i help her and her family out but that is by choice. I have a lovely step-daughter and we are very happy together. The people I see that come here and fail are those that look down on the Thais especially girls and /or get involved with bar girls or very young girls . I would not put any guy off getting together with a Thai girl but just be careful especially if you are not living here as long distance relationships are often unsuccesful !
Glad to hear you mention the Superficies Agreement it costs less than 300 baht ($8-9) done at the land office for security: In Thailand, the superficies right is attached to immovable property or a property that has a title deed. The superficies right can be used to separate the ownership of land from anything that is built on the land.
Moreover, the superficies right can be terminated by either one of the parties. A note has to be sent to the other party within a reasonable period of time.
Thank you for a really insightful video. I worked here on and off for 20 years but moved here full time after my American wife died almost 2 years ago. I live with a 40 year old woman from Myanmar and her 12 yo Thai son. I am planning to buy a house, likely in the son's name, in a year. If the relationship doesn't last they will get the house but I will not have been ripped off; I give it freely to people I care about. Thnx again.
For me it’s having a companionship with a woman, I’ve been with a Thai women for nearly 4 years, I met her at a normal massage shop in Pattaya, she’s 43 and I’am 70, we are very compatible and yes money is important, we all have to make a living and if I take her away from her job she needs to be supported, for us it works and we’re both happy!
You need keep you eye s and ears open they have boy friends. Thai woman are birch s they will steal everything 😢. Stay Way from Thai land. They Are sex worker.they Rubbish
These young girls provide a lot of nonmaterial support (e.g emotion, fun, care, cooking, cleaning, spending a tim, moral support, bearing the old men's tantrums ). So, these elderly men should take care of these girls very well financially.
Hello Ryan, Just stumbled across your channel a few days ago, really enjoying the content. Thailand is a country I love and visited many times. I have the intention of moving there eventually so you’re knowledge and insight to the Thai lifestyle and the effect it may have on one, if they one day decide to live there is superb and appreciated. Keep up the good work. Steve
Just yesterday I was warning a friend who met someone in another country, went to meet her, and making long term plans already. I feel like he is rushing into things. A great guy, I hate to see him get screwed over.
Ryan , 2 years ago my Thailand wife of 17 years decided she wanted to move back to her Thailand rural village , no problem we divided things up , she built a new house on family’s land , so I spend some time in Thailand , some in Australia , and some traveling , worked out ok I think Peter
You are 100% right, Sir. Coming in to Thailand with this mindset, gives you a good chance of succeeding with a long time relationship with your gf or wife. Very well done video! The scenary around you is btw awesome! 👍😊
Those that criticise don't know these people. I have a Thai wife and duo national daughter. Everything we purchased here is in my wife's name. I own nothing here and I'm happy. So my wife's assets include: 2 farms in Issan, land and 2 condos in Rayong. On the other hand I own all the financial investments what we live on. Yes she could throw me out tomorrow after nearly 20 years. I would need to rent somewhere and start again. I would not moan because she deserves every sqm of property and the car. I just believe some people rush into relationships too fast. People need to cost average in. All of us change over time. I was with me wife seven years before we purchased anything. We have rules too each other: only buy property with full title deeds (red) and lastly our daughter comes first. I love Thailand 🇹🇭 and you can also lose everything in the West. Just live your best possible life.
Great video and about time someone addressed the issue directly. Now you just have to inform your enlightened audience about the difference between prey and pray.
All valid points... I'd be curious to know also... instead of in the bars as in the old days, what percentage of expats meet their Thai girlfriends/wives online? Often even before moving over here, and what are the pros and cons of that. It seems quite common...
Well said Ryan, you're saying it on behalf of all the wise guys. I totally agree with you, this type of story is one we shouldn't be hearing anymore, it's like an old record playing over & over & over again Those that are still unable to use their big head in a smarter way, get what's coming to them regardless. I used to sympathise, but these days I don't, it's usually all their own doing.
Excellent commentary regarding ex-pats and Thai love. Many ex-pats miss the fact that this is a kingdom, mostly because so few have lived in one. #respectthekingdom #respectthepeople
I was on the path to losing everything but held on with the obvious knowledge my wife was heading for an early grave. She passed away last month (March 24) and now I have everything. My daughter is 19 and signs the house over next year. I went through years of abuse and simply stayed close by for my daughter and not to run away. 22 years over with and a bright new future for all. FYI, never embezzled, stole, flirted, purchased and so on. Sadly succumbed to chronic alcoholism and constantly rushed to hospital. Friends were her demise. I don't see them now. Not a sordid reply just my version of how running away doesn't have to be the answer. Without my daughter it would have been different. The problem around me is selective hearing. Only switch on when it benefits them. I can communicate enough to hear what's going on and can read enough to understand documents. I now live in peace and quiet and my wife is now rid of her demons, such a shame and a warning that alcohol doesn't choose it's victims. It's an individual's look out. In summary I haven't lost anything and continue a new start at a mere age 55. I never tarred and labeled myself with the usual view, always worked it out for myself. Never again! New me.
You are a very wise gentleman Ryan. Your view is fantastic too. Where is this? Looks like a small lake in the northern mountains. Is it nice to visit. Any recommendations re: guesthouses/hotels here? Serious question and sorry if you have already provided this background info....perhaps missed it. Regards, Wayne.
Thanks for the explanation on how all Expats in Thailand are NOT ignorant, uninformed idiots. Been living here almost 10 years and am happily married to a Thai girl. Own a house, truck, car and a motorbike (all in my name). Only the land my house sits on is not in my name. Was with my girlfriend for over a year before we married and I did do a little research and watched a lot of YouTsuccessful
I too have been happily married for 12 years to a woman closer to my age and have never been happier. However, you say you own your house, on paper you might but in reality I think you will find that the house belongs to the landowner if everything goes tits up.
This can happen at any time, even in long term relationships, when things go pear shaped. One of my expat acquaintances was recently stunned to discover she drained his accounts, and they had been together for nearly two decades!
Sorry for your friend Beverly - I actually hope todays message helps others not make the same mistakes but you are right - it happens to many different people. He over now I hope?
@@thenakedguru Fortunately, SOME of his money was saved, but he moved rather quickly to the Phillipines. We were all wondering how he went from "look at my lovely garden and all the vegetables" to ..."now I am living in the Phillipines". Huh??? 555 He carefully provided for his adopted daughter, whom he doted on, and made sure she was okay, then left Thailand forever....!
So well said, been here for 6 years and went on a dating app, within 15 min i had 59 responses, dropped that quickly.....! You are right, Thai ladies and people in general are amazing, they will work hard with you, much better than in the west. Still single, and very happy at 53.
new subscriber here !!, enoying your chats on various subjects, in this case common sense is very important when choosing a partner , doesnt matter were you live or have moved too . the way thai people live really resonates with me, would love to visit in next few years , take care brother
The primary responsibility to the knowledge and insight you have discovered is to live and breathe it. (deepak)..I yak yakk u alot but really your just sharing good information...You do that well......
"Continued" (sorry, that got cut off). RUclips videos. It's not hard to be a successful Expat here in Thailand. Don't rush in and do your due diligence. Life here can be awesome.
I did at one time want to visit Pye but I have heard that it is very koh Phangan, elephant pants and Kao San Road...sort of put me off..too old for that now
Neighbor in US was married to a US woman half his age. Both had very different life experiences. Not surprisingly they had the same outcome you’re describing.
Well said Ryan, many variables involved in these expat relationships as you have stated. When I met my partner her small business was in danger of bankruptcy but it has been the best investment that I've made to keep it afloat and if she decides to kick me to the curb then so be it, no hard feelings. Keep the age gap realistic, I'm 70 she's 60 and we have good communication because of this fact, I would have nothing in common with a younger woman and I know this, just use common sense, which appears in short supply with many visitors to thailand.
Yes today we call that uncommon sense because it's not common anymore. Ryan thanks once again I watch every video you put out. Can't wait to get back to Thailand again should be back for songkran
I am english and have been in Thailand over 20 yrs my husband is Thai .When I read about how farang men are so stupid giving everything away the problem I see is they flash the cash so early in the relationship. We live in a small village in Uttaradit .
I am being preyed upon in Pattaya, but I like it! 555 You see it very well Ryan. "Never put all your eggs in one basket" thought every man knew this. Another brilliant vlog and rant Ryan. Beautiful park for a morning walkabout and talk One old vlogger here says 1/2 your age plus 7 years is the perfect age for a man here....so 40 year olds are the perfect age for me! 5555
Every red flag was there for me. But I followed my heart and am gloriously happy and have had 12 wonderfully happily married years. Living in Indonesia, frankly there are few plans and precautions you could take, as no court would ever find in favour of a foreigner. All I can say is go with your instinct and take advice from no-one, especially the ignorant.
Yeah, Thai court will favor Thai, because it's better for Thailand. For our western minds that might seem unfair, different culture. And let's be honest, most of us have seen immigrants at home get or get away with something a citizen would not get it able to do. And deep inside we wish our countries would be a bit more like Thailand in that matter. Despite the fact that we are the Immigrants here 😅. You don't get fair, you get what is best for Thailand.
Well done Ryan: should be required watching on all inbound flights, only thing you left out is don’t make rash long lasting decisions when drunk… Heading out permanently in the next few weeks, after 17 years married to a Thai in the UK. I haven’t been that far North and those views are breathtaking. I can see a 14hr road trip coming off from Kalasin spread out over a month! Off now to raid the cooler for a tuna and sweetcorn sarnie, before reading the Financial Times 😂 Keep up the good work mucker 🐧
Quick heads up…the wife’s 4 year old nephew just got out of a local government hospital after 4 weeks in Khao Wong, Kalasin. He’s a very lucky young man: Glanders and Melioidosis. I had never heard of it…very high mortality stats…inhalation of bacteria in soil, water or eating freshwater fish from bacteria infected water…swift diagnosis essential followed by the correct antimicrobial…he was on the relevant antibiotic in saline for 4 weeks now continued orally for 6 months to avoid bounce-back…it can even survive in distilled water…a second kid in the same school just came down with it…amazing how a local G hospital identified it…Dr’s said it was rare though no longer..leave you google it!
@@MarkDaviesThailand Hope the nephew is doing well now. Wikipedia seems to have comprehensive information, and it appears to be worthwhile reading wherever one might live.
@@wiv2631 Thanks Ryan. A lot better now thanks and very happy to be out of hospital, even though he will be on antibiotics for 6 months and it can reoccur throughout life. Couple of interesting points…Hospital forms have a category called: Glanders and Melioidosis - Glanders is a close-relative of Melioidosis and is irrelevant. Melioidosis is the soil dwelling bacteria thats the real killer and it gets a lot of rice-farmers once its washed out by the rains. Turns out the local government hospital actually missed it completely…he was going down hill so they took him to a small government hospital in a local town…they had the experience to recognise it and start immediate antibiotic via IV, while waiting for the culture test that confirmed Melioidosis. I don’t think he would have survived in the village hospital. Couple of quick points. They think it was probably acquired playing by a river with his dad after heavy rain…the symptoms in kids would be easily confused with meningitis so a blood culture-test is essential to eliminate or confirm…it gets a lot of rice-farmers throughout the tropics, and a key mortality indicator is diabetes or pre-existing heart/lung/kidney issues. Its sheer chance if its in nearby land or not and hence contamination in local-water tables. 🙏
The same story applies everywhere in the world, not just in Thailand, Philippines etc. There are many stories of Western men and women screwing over their partners as well. It’s not country, culture, gender or religion based. It’s individual greed. I have a phrase that applies well here. Men have 2 heads. Unfortunately, when one head works, the other stops. 😂😂😂
@@macks573 so this is a fascinating in sight into the mind of a wokey leftist and how you see the world and how it works. You start by seeing a points system and then strange beliefs about how every nation and people are neither inferior or superior in any ways. and of course its about 'narratives and power to stop narratives. It's disgusting but its a fascinating little look into your cult's mentality.
7:34-7:58 Words of profound wisdom. Unfortunately, most men won't listen. They will need to go through the process of life teaching them a few harsh lessons to instill some wisdom in them.
After I knew I wanted to find a Thai wife and I sorted through many of them before even meeting my future wife. Not a large age gap, beautiful but not spin every man's head around beautiful, good English, and a full time job. Been married 4 years now and everything is mostly perfect. Would do it again in a second.
Got divorced in the West, lost everything despite the fact the divorce was due to her cheating. She was given the lot by the courts. Had to start again and vowed never to allow myself to be that vulnerable again. Comfortable now and never happier than I am now living the single, free and easy lifestyle that comes from not being shackled to someone else. It's not for everybody but it suits me.
my thai girlfriend is no different to the aussie women or others from different cultures i have dated. all she wants is happiness, mutual respect, understanding and communication and most of all... family. im only 31 and still very adaptable to a new land, new language/s and new culture, but i know for older expats they might find it difficult to adapt and compromise and this will start to cause rifts that you would see in any relationship around the world. also paying your wife salary just sounds plain wrong to me, as if you would want to hold dominion over the person youre supposed to love and respect. great video ryan, too many people blame the thai wife before looking inward and knowing who they really are inside.
@@seekhearts I disagree. Your claim is not verified by pointing to the survivors and I've never seen that be the reason why there are some older expats who have eventually adapted well. Of course, you weren't actually told 'expats don't do well overall' but about women who will wreck them. (you changed it to an overall general commentary). But I disagree with your belief that it's all about the foundation,. One of the main reasons I can disagree is because you're talking to an older expat. I am one of them. You're wrong on a few levels so we have to break those down. - You're deceived by 'survivor bias' where you would also go around pointing out there are plenty of plane crash survivors found doing just fine and adapting well on this island! You don't see that 99% of them didn't survive. You know 10 expats who have adapted after decades and decades still there. Yes, you don't know 3000 others came and went, but wait... - what you don't realize is that the 10 you've seen and think are doing well (don't be so sure) aren't there because they built the strong foundations and the others didn't. nope. While its not 'random' (though, often it is) it will be for 1000 other explanations from health, accidents, an uncountable number of ways visas come and go, change and drop (and some happened to just hit right time in the right place and vice-versa) and let me give you one example: - In Laos, about a dozen expats are well-known to have been so for decades and will be until dying at 72 for sure. Almost all of them inherited money when their parents died and when they (the expat) was around 55-60 too and almost all attained early retirement (58-62 range) for another supplementary guaranteed income. and, ALL of them will tell you horror stories about how when, at age 38 or 42 they first arrived and were WRECKED by a woman. oh.. let's be more clear: that was the FIRST time they were just wrecked. A little more detail on stories you heard about "ive been here 20 years". They often don't tell you that they were there 6 years, then moved back to (home country) with the wife after finally securing visas etc and then 2 years later she divorced him and took half his money and he was ruined but had enough leftover to... move back to Thailand (or Laos or Vietnam or China whereever). however, It will also be true that the survivors (you see plenty of them!) will just as easily be the ones who... did NOT lay any kind of good foundations. (whatever you think that means). it will just as easily be the ones who did NOT lay any kind of foundations but were just wild .. as my dad would say 'flew by the seat of their pants' and nutters and those who just 'winged it' as they went along. Likewise, the most 'foundation building cautious planners' will have been swept away, shipwrecked or just sort of fell apart over time. You're simply not correct in your belief and that just isn't how it's happened over the decades. Now, finally, since what you're replying to is about being wrecked by a woman.. ..if you actually believe men can 'pay a foundation' around making a trustworthy or non-trustworthy woman? As if you can build something in to prevent her from becoming a wacko later? Oh son, ohhhh you poor sweet but dangerously naive soul, that is definitely not possible. you may well get a combination of luck and circumstances and it won't happen but you will just HOPE those things happen and will not build them. and love won't have anything to do with it either.
This video was made with the genuine intent to be helpful. Our friend that lost his place approves this message. Don’t shoot the messenger 👍
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I have lived in SE Asia for over 10 years, I’ve been back in Australia for five years, after having two relationships, one was an Isaan lady (she was 25 and I was 38), I’m now single again living in Australia and mid 40s. I have basically been ostracised by the naive Iess travelled here and while getting sober in AA where I was open and honest about my drinking adventures in Thailand, I was labelled a sex predator and worse, I was physically threatened in AA and harassed by uneducated untraveled envious white Aussies . I had to leave AA. (3 years sober and going strong) I appreciate this explanation of how single men devoid of love and action for so many years are not the PREDATOR , they are the PREY! Having said that, some of the Thai Girls have been conditioned to learn how to get money from travellers and have multiple short term relationships. They think it’s normal and don’t fully understand that they could be much better off in a relationship which is based on love rather than money. They like to show bank deposit receipts on social media, showing off the huge amounts of money travellers send them after they go back home and this encourages more Thai girls to take advantage of more lonely men coming to Thailand genuinely looking for love. In my opinion Thai women are mostly a lot more genuine and honest than western women. A Thai girl will ask for money (all the time 😂❤) but most would never steal it from you.
Can’t wait to get back to SE Asia, the food and services is disgusting here and so are a lot of the people. 😊 Bring it On !
glad your of the alcohol. me too 14 years. i left AA cause it was a cult!!@@danielthomas5844
Good advice. They chose the country, they took the risk and they paid the price. "Your not the predator you're the pray", I love that line.
My wife took just about everything after 23 years of marriage and raising two kids together right here in America. You don't have to go to Thailand for that.
🙏🙏🙏
Your not the predator your the pray ❤ it.
I seems weirdly crappy if I would say to you "oh.. welp, you took the risk and you paid the price". you have a criminal mentality.
Same here 20 years wasted with women in Australia
I think it’s called life don’t get jaded
Don’t be scared look for happiness
There are ways to move forward
Thai law favours the Thai national in every way . Just rent in Thailand .
I met a girl on a forum 16 years my junior when i was in between jobs she asked if i had enough money to get to Thailand because she'd take care of me when i got there and she did 15 years ago. when i got a job a gave her 20K Baht a month and asked her to take care of living arrangements with it. 6 months later i asked her if she was getting enough money, she showed me her bank book and there was more in there than i had given her. when i questioned her about the money she said she thought we were saving for our future, i went all in at that point and have never regretted it she and i aren't rich she has a one seat hairdressing salon and i'm retired, we go to the UK once or twice a year for holidays and in all honesty she's the best thing that ever happened to me. Their are really good women in Thailand.Oh and she's still really Beautiful and caring at 50.
That's a beautiful story and so good to hear
That's a good lady right there. 👏
good women are rare.. there are a lot more bad than good in the world unfortunately. Great however you met a good one.
@@marcussmith4913I think there are a lot more good woman than bad. It depends on the place, don't expect a lot of good woman from a bar or casino though. Overall I do believe that there're more good people than bad people in the world.
Brilliant story am happy for you best wishes take care .
This is spot on mate. Anyone thinking of moving here to thailand to retire need to listen to this video and read the book private dancer
Brilliant.
I had a thai wife , we split up dew to family pressure on her , she had my money in her account , long story, she gave me everything back , I tell my mates that have lived in thailand for decades, and they carnt believe , she returned everything.
I still think about her , it was down to her having to support her mother and her sisters , did not seem to be doing the same ,so it caused problems for me .
She was ji dee a good heart .
There are great women in thailand.
Also there are women that will have your eyes out .
If your a good judge of people , you know good people .
Think if they are in a bar , selling the money maker , it's money money .
No money, no honey .
If a uk girl asked you to buy her a car or build her a house, you would bail .
My advice keep your money in your pocket , lissen don't talk.
Keep your eyes open
Cheers Ryan
I met a girl on a bus and asked if she knew cheap clean accommodation. we talked for two hours laughing. When we got off the bus she said follow me. She took me home pointed at the room and said thats for you I sleep on couch. Two weeks later I thanked her for showing me around and being so kind. I paid her fairly although she didnt ask for money. Later she invited me to Ban Kruat to visit a house warming party and later to a Cambodian wedding. I met her family and after three days the elders of the family welcomed me into the web. Turns out she owned two farms with her sister. She told me nothing about how she had more money than me and the reason we are still in contact is because....she asked me if I wanted a Thai wife My response was I want a best friend first. She admired that and we built trust on that. Good on you for finding your best friend first.
I left out detail but yeah we have a good friendship....never sexual. I think we are both a bit jaded but we get along. She's never asked me for a penny. In fact her family has put me up. I was so impressed with the hospitality. It was an amazing experience. More to come even as friends. @@satianable
Sounds like you’ve found a keeper!
gay
@@MrAuswillowwho? You?
@@MrAuswillow: love your response.. but what the guy means is he wants to make sure things are right first before jumping in a Mary boat..
Thailand is very much what you make of it. There is beauty, happiness, simplicity, and freedom if you're looking for it. There are also people looking to take advantage of you, just like anywhere else. Keep your head on, and you can have an amazing life here. Great thoughts on the topic, Ryan.
Thanks guys!
@@thenakedguru The information about scammers is on the internet. People complain about not knowing the warning signs and lose their bank deposits, house and condos. I can only say ..... sorry. Think with your brain not the twig.
Very appropriately said.
Totally agree, my wife has a degree, her own business and car, since I have been here I have lived Totally on her income, never had to transfer money from England, and as a Yorkshireman I was surprised to find somebody tighter than me. Her 20 year old Honda Civic that she bought new is not going to be replaced as she said it is still giving good service, and she's not worried about keeping up with the Jones's. I have never been asked for money by her or her family, even Sinsod, and a good sign of a genuine relationship with a Thai lady is that they are very loving and affectionate in private but not so much in public, if they do the opposite, think to yourself, why?
Brilliant to hear this John & I know others in the same position.
It's a shame the often bad press many Thai women get, especially when it's usually down to the foreigner not meeting the right types.
All the best
Thais are mostly conservative people/culture. We do not make out and do tongue hockey in public with our mate. Holding hands is okay.
Being overtly affectionately is usually seen as someone trying to trap foreigners for a leg up for them. Usually in the night life industry. Thailand is a Bhudist country and conservative.
The exception is never the rule. You are lucky to have found the exception.
"You're not the predator, you're the prey" had me in tears. So true that some think they are taking advantage of girls.
As someone who learned the hard way, this is excellent advice Ryan.
I was young, foolish and very trusting. I hold no animosity towards the girl, she was just trying to provide for her family. The common reaction from friends who've "fallen in love" is - my girl is different, she really loves me and doesn't mind the 40 years age difference. 😂
It seems that these fellas need to experience the pain in order to get the message.
Excellent and insight full video. Well grounded. Yes, we hear so many Thailand horror stories, but I am sure there are a lot happier story. I have an amazing Thai wife and at the start of our relationship there was no mention of money ever. You just must be careful and find the right partner. Thai women are caring, family driven and will treat you like a king. All they want back is a loving and caring partner.
You’re so right. Old men looking for young women won’t bring happiness. They have to find someone in the same life chapter. Can be younger but not 2 generations removed. That will only lead to sadness
I think your comment has much to do with the bandwagon type of thinking. I agree that they are not thinking with the brain in their head.
Great stuff again. Should be compulsory viewing for every starry eyed expat planning to live here.
Don't think I've ever seen another more in depth explanation of the trials and triumphs of a Thai/Farang union.
Great input from others on the subject too. Excellent
Well done 👏
I used to look down on the 60+ farang with 20 year old thai wives. The more time I live in Thailand, the more this changed. In most cases, both parties understand the arrangement and who am I to decide what true love is? The man finds companionship he would be hard pushed to find at home, the girl gets security for herself and often her family too.
My wife is Thai. We met when she was 20 and I was 25. We have been together for 10 years. I think the fact she was a Hi-So girl rather than a bar girl is probably a very important part of why we have been one of the rare success stories in Farang/Thai relationships. She was never after my money because I didnt have any! 😂
what suggestions would you give to a 25 yo guy to have success dating (and i mean dating not F around) in thailand?
i’ve seen a lot of thai/westerner couple, and although they work out, i see a lot of lacking of true love/emotion in those relationships. i don’t want to judge how they meet, but turns out most of them came from Isaan. And let’s be honest, I don’t think every western is good at talking thai, so i’ve my own idea about they met, and that’s all fine. But I don’t like how the relationship turn out, where the women cares more about hanging out more with their thai friends and kids without truly caring about the husband.
Maybe I’ve a romantic idea of love and relationships, cause I don’t think that give a beer, preparing food and “take care” means love.
Maybe it’s me, or maybe something is wrong in one of them, or maybe it’s just all down to cultural differences and how different nations show love.
Hope to hear from you,
wish you all the best! 🤙🏼
I am from the Uk and have been married to my Thai wife for 6 years and we have known each other 7 years . We just clicked in a coffee shop and were married three months later. I waited over 3 years to build a house . We are very happy and both have careers. My job is better paid so i help her and her family out but that is by choice. I have a lovely step-daughter and we are very happy together. The people I see that come here and fail are those that look down on the Thais especially girls and /or get involved with bar girls or very young girls . I would not put any guy off getting together with a Thai girl but just be careful especially if you are not living here as long distance relationships are often unsuccesful !
Glad to hear you mention the Superficies Agreement it costs less than 300 baht ($8-9) done at the land office for security: In Thailand, the superficies right is attached to immovable property or a property that has a title deed. The superficies right can be used to separate the ownership of land from anything that is built on the land.
Moreover, the superficies right can be terminated by either one of the parties. A note has to be sent to the other party within a reasonable period of time.
Is this also known as Usufruct?
@@steveallen7063was going to ask exactly the same question 😊
Great advice, interesting and informative, hope the men out there listen and take notice. Great job
Thank you for a really insightful video. I worked here on and off for 20 years but moved here full time after my American wife died almost 2 years ago.
I live with a 40 year old woman from Myanmar and her 12 yo Thai son. I am planning to buy a house, likely in the son's name, in a year. If the relationship doesn't last they will get the house but I will not have been ripped off; I give it freely to people I care about.
Thnx again.
I like your comment. We're men and we have to be fair. If that's the case, how do you explain it?
What are American women expats love experience in Thailand? Have any of them married Thai men and what was the outcome?
No thats not something that happens.@@cathylake9072
For me it’s having a companionship with a woman, I’ve been with a Thai women for nearly 4 years, I met her at a normal massage shop in Pattaya, she’s 43 and I’am 70, we are very compatible and yes money is important, we all have to make a living and if I take her away from her job she needs to be supported, for us it works and we’re both happy!
Keep everything in your name. Always keep an eye on the 💸 💰. Always. Ways around this issue.
You need keep you eye s and ears open they have boy friends. Thai woman are birch s they will steal everything 😢.
Stay Way from Thai land. They
Are sex worker.they Rubbish
They have skill in screw you
They are rubbish thai woman
That's the truth the Thai woman are skilful
I always appreciate the way you keep it honest.
These young girls provide a lot of nonmaterial support (e.g emotion, fun, care, cooking, cleaning, spending a tim, moral support, bearing the old men's tantrums ). So, these elderly men should take care of these girls very well financially.
Thank-you! I'm retired young, widowed now and looking to visit Thailand.
It's nice to see your great situation and positive attitude! 🏄🏼♀️✌️😁
I love the way you present facts like they are your opinions. Thanks for your videos.
I have sympathy for anyone, but if you can't afford to lose it, don't do it.
It's weird that you believe you're being asked to give sympathy. what's up with that?
Hello Ryan,
Just stumbled across your channel a few days ago, really enjoying the content. Thailand is a country I love and visited many times. I have the intention of moving there eventually so you’re knowledge and insight to the Thai lifestyle and the effect it may have on one, if they one day decide to live there is superb and appreciated. Keep up the good work.
Steve
Just yesterday I was warning a friend who met someone in another country, went to meet her, and making long term plans already. I feel like he is rushing into things. A great guy, I hate to see him get screwed over.
Lol. That warning thing never works. His head is in the clouds and he'll resent you. Sad but true.
Well said Ryan. I think you may anger a few people in denial with this one though! Run for cover!!
I think you might be right my friend!
Ryan , 2 years ago my Thailand wife of 17 years decided she wanted to move back to her Thailand rural village , no problem we divided things up , she built a new house on family’s land , so I spend some time in Thailand , some in Australia , and some traveling , worked out ok I think
Peter
You are 100% right, Sir. Coming in to Thailand with this mindset, gives you a good chance of succeeding with a long time relationship with your gf or wife. Very well done video! The scenary around you is btw awesome! 👍😊
Absolutely 🙏
Good stuff, some times you just have to roll the dice, and 🙏 pray
It goes on everywhere. An old saying is "Marriage is grand. Divorce is 50 grand"
I think mine was 50 baht at the amphur
Beautiful spot , the reflection of the clouds on the water ❤
Those that criticise don't know these people.
I have a Thai wife and duo national daughter. Everything we purchased here is in my wife's name. I own nothing here and I'm happy. So my wife's assets include: 2 farms in Issan, land and 2 condos in Rayong. On the other hand I own all the financial investments what we live on. Yes she could throw me out tomorrow after nearly 20 years. I would need to rent somewhere and start again. I would not moan because she deserves every sqm of property and the car.
I just believe some people rush into relationships too fast. People need to cost average in. All of us change over time. I was with me wife seven years before we purchased anything. We have rules too each other: only buy property with full title deeds (red) and lastly our daughter comes first.
I love Thailand 🇹🇭 and you can also lose everything in the West. Just live your best possible life.
Sounds like you got a good one 🙏👍
@@thenakedguru so have you my friend. Big ocean out there watch out for the sharks. Great video.
I agree with your approach
The women are the glue of the Thai society, I have MAD RESPECT for THAI WOMEN!
Great video and about time someone addressed the issue directly. Now you just have to inform your enlightened audience about the difference between prey and pray.
I totally agree with every word you’ve said Ryan but sadly some won’t listen another great vlog thank
I love your advice, that is one thing I am afraid off when I move to Thailand in two years.
All valid points... I'd be curious to know also... instead of in the bars as in the old days, what percentage of expats meet their Thai girlfriends/wives online? Often even before moving over here, and what are the pros and cons of that. It seems quite common...
Good points raised here 😊
This is an excellent post. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Many a man has chosen a wife by a light not sufficient to choose a suit by.
And you better look twice at the suit also. Lol
Well said Ryan, you're saying it on behalf of all the wise guys.
I totally agree with you, this type of story is one we shouldn't be hearing anymore, it's like an old record playing over & over & over again
Those that are still unable to use their big head in a smarter way, get what's coming to them regardless. I used to sympathise, but these days I don't, it's usually all their own doing.
Excellent commentary regarding ex-pats and Thai love. Many ex-pats miss the fact that this is a kingdom, mostly because so few have lived in one. #respectthekingdom #respectthepeople
Well said….the men who refuse to keep an open mind will be taken every time.
beautifully put sir!
Well said very truthful.
I was on the path to losing everything but held on with the obvious knowledge my wife was heading for an early grave. She passed away last month (March 24) and now I have everything. My daughter is 19 and signs the house over next year. I went through years of abuse and simply stayed close by for my daughter and not to run away. 22 years over with and a bright new future for all.
FYI, never embezzled, stole, flirted, purchased and so on. Sadly succumbed to chronic alcoholism and constantly rushed to hospital. Friends were her demise. I don't see them now. Not a sordid reply just my version of how running away doesn't have to be the answer. Without my daughter it would have been different.
The problem around me is selective hearing. Only switch on when it benefits them. I can communicate enough to hear what's going on and can read enough to understand documents. I now live in peace and quiet and my wife is now rid of her demons, such a shame and a warning that alcohol doesn't choose it's victims. It's an individual's look out.
In summary I haven't lost anything and continue a new start at a mere age 55.
I never tarred and labeled myself with the usual view, always worked it out for myself. Never again! New me.
you mean the friends of your thai wife and her alcohol abuse of your thai wife run your family? i wish all the best for you mate
You are a very wise gentleman Ryan. Your view is fantastic too. Where is this? Looks like a small lake in the northern mountains. Is it nice to visit. Any recommendations re: guesthouses/hotels here? Serious question and sorry if you have already provided this background info....perhaps missed it. Regards, Wayne.
Thanks for the explanation on how all Expats in Thailand are NOT ignorant, uninformed idiots. Been living here almost 10 years and am happily married to a Thai girl. Own a house, truck, car and a motorbike (all in my name). Only the land my house sits on is not in my name. Was with my girlfriend for over a year before we married and I did do a little research and watched a lot of YouTsuccessful
👍👍👍 I think many think we are morons haha
I too have been happily married for 12 years to a woman closer to my age and have never been happier. However, you say you own your house, on paper you might but in reality I think you will find that the house belongs to the landowner if everything goes tits up.
True, unless he can hire someone to tow away his whole house, but that probably isn't practical.@@AllAboutLifeInThailand
Absolutely beautiful scenery x
GREAT words. And so TRUE!
Quote "That girl doesnt want to be helping your sorry ass to the bathroom' unquote Absolute gold!!! LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO
This can happen at any time, even in long term relationships, when things go pear shaped. One of my expat acquaintances was recently stunned to discover she drained his accounts, and they had been together for nearly two decades!
Sorry for your friend Beverly - I actually hope todays message helps others not make the same mistakes but you are right - it happens to many different people. He over now I hope?
@@thenakedguru Fortunately, SOME of his money was saved, but he moved rather quickly to the Phillipines. We were all wondering how he went from "look at my lovely garden and all the vegetables" to ..."now I am living in the Phillipines". Huh??? 555 He carefully provided for his adopted daughter, whom he doted on, and made sure she was okay, then left Thailand forever....!
🤣🤣🤣🙏🙏🙏
Very well Said !!!
So well said, been here for 6 years and went on a dating app, within 15 min i had 59 responses, dropped that quickly.....! You are right, Thai ladies and people in general are amazing, they will work hard with you, much better than in the west. Still single, and very happy at 53.
For me your Chanel is the best, humble guy great advice
Sound advise. Having been married for 19 years and never regretted it.
Totally Agree
Another great topic on your everyday vlog Ryan! Thanks for sharing 😊
Glad you enjoyed it!
Absolutely spot on.... 👍
Spot on mate
Well said Rayn hope all is well
Fantastic vid very honest and real vid of true life in Thailand and the fools who try to buy love
Good commentary and assessments.
Wow some beautiful scenery.
new subscriber here !!, enoying your chats on various subjects, in this case common sense is very important when choosing a partner , doesnt matter were you live or have moved too .
the way thai people live really resonates with me, would love to visit in next few years , take care brother
Welcome to the channel!
The primary responsibility to the knowledge and insight you have discovered is to live and breathe it. (deepak)..I yak yakk u alot but really your just sharing good information...You do that well......
TY for the reality check, sir. 👍👍
there is a very long member ship in this list I am fully paid up with my subscriptions
"Continued" (sorry, that got cut off). RUclips videos. It's not hard to be a successful Expat here in Thailand. Don't rush in and do your due diligence. Life here can be awesome.
Bingo!
I did at one time want to visit Pye but I have heard that it is very koh Phangan, elephant pants and Kao San Road...sort of put me off..too old for that now
Amen! Well said.
Neighbor in US was married to a US woman half his age. Both had very different life experiences. Not surprisingly they had the same outcome you’re describing.
Well said Ryan, many variables involved in these expat relationships as you have stated. When I met my partner her small business was in danger of bankruptcy but it has been the best investment that I've made to keep it afloat and if she decides to kick me to the curb then so be it, no hard feelings.
Keep the age gap realistic, I'm 70 she's 60 and we have good communication because of this fact, I would have nothing in common with a younger woman and I know this, just use common sense, which appears in short supply with many visitors to thailand.
Yes today we call that uncommon sense because it's not common anymore. Ryan thanks once again I watch every video you put out. Can't wait to get back to Thailand again should be back for songkran
I am english and have been in Thailand over 20 yrs my husband is Thai .When I read about how farang men are so stupid giving everything away the problem I see is they flash the cash so early in the relationship. We live in a small village in Uttaradit .
Good Advice,Ryan I agree with you all.Other lesson in life .
Friend of mine divorced twice and kept everything both times.
By the way, divorce rate in the US is about 40%. In Thailand the marriage scam rate is about 90%.
Where do you get the 90% figure from?
May I ask what kind of wireless mic you are using?
I am being preyed upon in Pattaya, but I like it! 555 You see it very well Ryan. "Never put all your eggs in one basket" thought every man knew this. Another brilliant vlog and rant Ryan. Beautiful park for a morning walkabout and talk One old vlogger here says 1/2 your age plus 7 years is the perfect age for a man here....so 40 year olds are the perfect age for me! 5555
Glad you enjoyed it brother 👍
Every red flag was there for me. But I followed my heart and am gloriously happy and have had 12 wonderfully happily married years. Living in Indonesia, frankly there are few plans and precautions you could take, as no court would ever find in favour of a foreigner. All I can say is go with your instinct and take advice from no-one, especially the ignorant.
Genuinely happy for you brother 🙏
Yeah, Thai court will favor Thai, because it's better for Thailand.
For our western minds that might seem unfair, different culture.
And let's be honest, most of us have seen immigrants at home get or get away with something a citizen would not get it able to do.
And deep inside we wish our countries would be a bit more like Thailand in that matter.
Despite the fact that we are the Immigrants here 😅.
You don't get fair, you get what is best for Thailand.
You facilitated the whole process. Due diligence, buyer beware.
"You're not the sexual predator - you're the prey." is a crazy line to hear in a RUclips video.
Simple solution. Don't buy anything you cannot afford to lose.
Such a good video ^. 1000X
Good talk
Well said.
Well done Ryan: should be required watching on all inbound flights, only thing you left out is don’t make rash long lasting decisions when drunk…
Heading out permanently in the next few weeks, after 17 years married to a Thai in the UK.
I haven’t been that far North and those views are breathtaking. I can see a 14hr road trip coming off from Kalasin spread out over a month!
Off now to raid the cooler for a tuna and sweetcorn sarnie, before reading the Financial Times 😂
Keep up the good work mucker 🐧
Just imagining my ugly mug on every flight coming into Thailand 🤣🤣
Quick heads up…the wife’s 4 year old nephew just got out of a local government hospital after 4 weeks in Khao Wong, Kalasin.
He’s a very lucky young man: Glanders and Melioidosis. I had never heard of it…very high mortality stats…inhalation of bacteria in soil, water or eating freshwater fish from bacteria infected water…swift diagnosis essential followed by the correct antimicrobial…he was on the relevant antibiotic in saline for 4 weeks now continued orally for 6 months to avoid bounce-back…it can even survive in distilled water…a second kid in the same school just came down with it…amazing how a local G hospital identified it…Dr’s said it was rare though no longer..leave you google it!
@@MarkDaviesThailand Hope the nephew is doing well now. Wikipedia seems to have comprehensive information, and it appears to be worthwhile reading wherever one might live.
@@wiv2631 Thanks Ryan. A lot better now thanks and very happy to be out of hospital, even though he will be on antibiotics for 6 months and it can reoccur throughout life.
Couple of interesting points…Hospital forms have a category called: Glanders and Melioidosis - Glanders is a close-relative of Melioidosis and is irrelevant.
Melioidosis is the soil dwelling bacteria thats the real killer and it gets a lot of rice-farmers once its washed out by the rains.
Turns out the local government hospital actually missed it completely…he was going down hill so they took him to a small government hospital in a local town…they had the experience to recognise it and start immediate antibiotic via IV, while waiting for the culture test that confirmed Melioidosis. I don’t think he would have survived in the village hospital.
Couple of quick points. They think it was probably acquired playing by a river with his dad after heavy rain…the symptoms in kids would be easily confused with meningitis so a blood culture-test is essential to eliminate or confirm…it gets a lot of rice-farmers throughout the tropics, and a key mortality indicator is diabetes or pre-existing heart/lung/kidney issues.
Its sheer chance if its in nearby land or not and hence contamination in local-water tables. 🙏
The same story applies everywhere in the world, not just in Thailand, Philippines etc. There are many stories of Western men and women screwing over their partners as well. It’s not country, culture, gender or religion based. It’s individual greed.
I have a phrase that applies well here.
Men have 2 heads. Unfortunately, when one head works, the other stops.
😂😂😂
Why did you need to make sure you tell us that it happens everywhere in the world?
@@topsuperseven7910 To stop the false narrative of some who seem to think that some countries and people are superior to others. They aren’t 😘
@@macks573 so this is a fascinating in sight into the mind of a wokey leftist and how you see the world and how it works.
You start by seeing a points system and then strange beliefs about how every nation and people are neither inferior or superior in any ways.
and of course its about 'narratives and power to stop narratives.
It's disgusting but its a fascinating little look into your cult's mentality.
7:34-7:58 Words of profound wisdom. Unfortunately, most men won't listen. They will need to go through the process of life teaching them a few harsh lessons to instill some wisdom in them.
After I knew I wanted to find a Thai wife and I sorted through many of them before even meeting my future wife. Not a large age gap, beautiful but not spin every man's head around beautiful, good English, and a full time job. Been married 4 years now and everything is mostly perfect. Would do it again in a second.
Cheers Brandon 🙏👍
Before you do or agree to anything get a good lawyer that can work through the legal stuff
Got divorced in the West, lost everything despite the fact the divorce was due to her cheating. She was given the lot by the courts.
Had to start again and vowed never to allow myself to be that vulnerable again. Comfortable now and never happier than I am now living the single, free and easy lifestyle that comes from not being shackled to someone else.
It's not for everybody but it suits me.
my thai girlfriend is no different to the aussie women or others from different cultures i have dated. all she wants is happiness, mutual respect, understanding and communication and most of all... family. im only 31 and still very adaptable to a new land, new language/s and new culture, but i know for older expats they might find it difficult to adapt and compromise and this will start to cause rifts that you would see in any relationship around the world.
also paying your wife salary just sounds plain wrong to me, as if you would want to hold dominion over the person youre supposed to love and respect.
great video ryan, too many people blame the thai wife before looking inward and knowing who they really are inside.
Bingo my friend 🙏
oof you're going to be in wreckage if and when that all goes sideways and you become the older expat.
@@topsuperseven7910 its all about building a foundation my friend. you see plenty of older expats whove been there for decades who adapted quite well.
@@seekhearts I disagree. Your claim is not verified by pointing to the survivors and I've never seen that be the reason why there are some older expats who have eventually adapted well.
Of course, you weren't actually told 'expats don't do well overall' but about women who will wreck them.
(you changed it to an overall general commentary).
But I disagree with your belief that it's all about the foundation,.
One of the main reasons I can disagree is because you're talking to an older expat. I am one of them.
You're wrong on a few levels so we have to break those down.
- You're deceived by 'survivor bias' where you would also go around pointing out there are plenty of plane crash survivors found doing just fine and adapting well on this island! You don't see that 99% of them didn't survive. You know 10 expats who have adapted after decades and decades still there. Yes, you don't know 3000 others came and went,
but wait...
- what you don't realize is that the 10 you've seen and think are doing well (don't be so sure) aren't there because they built the strong foundations and the others didn't.
nope.
While its not 'random' (though, often it is) it will be for 1000 other explanations from health, accidents, an uncountable number of ways visas come and go, change and drop (and some happened to just hit right time in the right place and vice-versa) and let me give you one example:
- In Laos, about a dozen expats are well-known to have been so for decades and will be until dying at 72 for sure.
Almost all of them inherited money when their parents died and when they (the expat) was around 55-60 too and almost all attained early retirement (58-62 range) for another supplementary guaranteed income.
and,
ALL of them will tell you horror stories about how when, at age 38 or 42 they first arrived and were WRECKED by a woman.
oh.. let's be more clear: that was the FIRST time they were just wrecked.
A little more detail on stories you heard about "ive been here 20 years".
They often don't tell you that they were there 6 years, then moved back to (home country) with the wife after finally securing visas etc and then 2 years later she divorced him and took half his money and he was ruined but had enough leftover to... move back to Thailand (or Laos or Vietnam or China whereever).
however,
It will also be true that the survivors (you see plenty of them!) will just as easily be the ones who... did NOT lay any kind of good foundations. (whatever you think that means). it will just as easily be the ones who did NOT lay any kind of foundations but were just wild .. as my dad would say 'flew by the seat of their pants' and nutters and those who just 'winged it' as they went along. Likewise, the most 'foundation building cautious planners' will have been swept away, shipwrecked or just sort of fell apart over time.
You're simply not correct in your belief and that just isn't how it's happened over the decades.
Now, finally, since what you're replying to is about being wrecked by a woman..
..if you actually believe men can 'pay a foundation' around making a trustworthy or non-trustworthy woman? As if you can build something in to prevent her from becoming a wacko later?
Oh son, ohhhh you poor sweet but dangerously naive soul, that is definitely not possible. you may well get a combination of luck and circumstances and it won't happen but you will just HOPE those things happen and will not build them.
and love won't have anything to do with it either.
Good observations mate. I think people sometimes overlook the fact that men can lose in divorce in the west just as often, perhaps even more so.
good words
You're respectfully on point Ryan, well played with a straight bat.
Wow I thought it was Switzerland at first glance!
Wise words